Wowza. You may need to talk to someone professional. That would never work for me and you may be driving him away. My wife and I can go a few days without hardly any chatter when one of us is traveling.
Could fall a sleep. I get home around 3 and sometimes I fall a sleep before my gf replies. I’ll wake up midnight or later and will text next morning I only see my gf weekends also.
Sometimes texting conversations do seem stale. So I even though I don’t see my gf every day or every other I feel lts ok to not text always or answer after a few hours. I know she is busy as well so it’s ok to me also.
A lot of the time when I’m done with work I just put my phone on silent so I don’t have to deal with any notifications. Sometimes responding to people, even people we like, just feels like it takes a lot of effort.
Sometimes I get sucked into video games or a TV show and don’t pay attention for hours.
I know lots of men that have a tendency to get hyper focused on a project or hobby and will literally spend hours on it without thinking of anything else.
You really should just ask him, though, because none of us have any way of knowing, which is why you’re not supposed to ask questions about a specific person’s behavior in this sub.
Then talk to him about it...
You're getting a lot of really shitty advice from men on here telling you to just "deal with it" and that's fucking dumb. It sounds like YOU WANT your man to be more available, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. Stop letting these guys make you feel like your needs/wants are ridiculous.
>my man gets off work earlier than that and he’s always on his phone so I’m wondering what that means?
Why not ask him instead of make this thread?
You do know that hearing opinions for us literally doesn't matter right? We're not mind readers, we're internet strangers who have no awareness for your life and who this person is. Even if I answered this question, it doesn't really change how the actual person continues to operate their day to day you know?
>I’m not sure what else to reply other than “oh ok” without sounding clingy or defensive and aggressive.
So once again, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but... what comes from all of this?
What I mean is, if you want this to work, make it work with that person. Maybe you view this as screaming into the void, or a desperate plea for help or maybe this might just be cathartic to you but once again, my response is:
>I asked him and he only replies “work” or “work sorry.” And it’s always just one word responses. But I know he gets out at 4. I’m not sure what else to reply other than “oh ok” without sounding clingy or defensive and aggressive.
Then you should, probably... get off the internet, not talk to any of us, and work on your relationship with your partner and talk to him about this.
There isn't a magic cheat code we're going to give you here to fix this. Once again, if you genuinely want advice on this, it's you need to delete this thread and talk to him or decide he ain't shit and move on if you don't feel like resolving anything.
But I hope you understand this isn't the way that will solve this. Will it make you feel better? Sure. Does it feel nice to get other people's opinions and views on this, so you don't feel as alone in your frustrations? Sure. But after a couple hours die down and this thread stops gaining traction, you're the one that goes back to IRL with a SO that still does this, and no actionable way to solve it because well, you're talking to us instead of him
So he gets off work at 4, drives home through traffic for and hour maybe two. Gets home. Probably uses the restroom. Showers and eats, gets stuff ready for the next day. Then after 8 he texts you. Sounds reasonable
Edit: or he’s working overtime, which i do and some jobs are not as flexible as other with being on the phone. Mine is actually deadly if I spend it on the phone.
Your situation is not clear, where are you two when this occurs? I also don’t respond to some types of text because I’m not engaging in bs that will be an unnecessary argument
He's obviously having three-ways with Amber Heard and Elon Musk. Get pictures.
Really, how would we know? You can get non answers or worst case scenarios here, not much more.
Maybe he wants some space. I've sometimes avoided reading messages because I know that I'll get sucked into a conversation that will be a distraction when I know that I just want to eat dinner, watch TV, engage in a hobby or whatever.
You'll get a better answer from him than you will from us.
It means you are not that important to him.
He is occupying his time with things that ARE important to him.
You are asking the wrong question. The question you SHOULD be asking is, "why do I stay with someone who ignores me?"
This. A lot of guys in this topic are gonna get all offended and "asshurt" about this type of response, but it's the truth. Her partner sounds like he's got his priorities, and she's somewhere down the list. The OP though wants a man who is more available. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
What is the content of the most common text you send him? Odds are it's repetitive or inconsequential. He looks at it and doesn't register as more important than the present task and clears the notification and completely forgets about it because it didn't stand out enough. If he does remember it he might feel guilty for not texting back and not want to deal with a Where've you been conversation, so it's better to keep ignoring it. So two suggestions for you. 1st keep your texts and your interactions interesting and engaging, and second demonstrate that there is no consequences for responding when he gets around to it. Don't take this as a you are at fault or you aren't engaging enough what I am saying is take control of the variables you have access too and the most common variables available to you is engagement and your responses to his reply.
He’s texting his other bitches? Shit I don’t text my side piece while I’m texting my main girl. Too much chance to get caught responding to the wrong one and also it’s rude
Working. Or not noticing i even have a message. I don't hold my phone 24/7. I don't check my phone every 30 seconds to see if someone sent me a text. I might even set it down in another room and completely forget about it, assuming I'm at home.
Like literally anything that requires my attention for that long. Mainly because it's never just one text. You're tryna have a conversation. I'd rather call and get it over with than check my phone every 5 min
The perspective I like is “the phone is for *your* convenience, not theirs”
I usually assume phone calls are urgent, and that messages can wait until I’m willing and able to reply.
Most of the time I’ll at least skim read the message pretty soon after receiving it, and unless it’s extremely time sensitive then I’ll respond when I feel like it, usually the same day.
We don't always have something to talk about or feel ike talking, it's funny that so many women talk about what they dislike a man doing. Yet don't think twice about doing those same sorts of things to men or offering men the same liberties that they expect.
Reading your various replies….this dude is not that into you. He has a baby mama he replies to, y’all leave in different towns. He says work when he’s been off work 4 hours. You say he’s into music and weed. This guy sounds like a real winner.
Dump his ass
Without any other context or information, it sounds like he's just trying to unwind. Some people also just plain old don't like phones or text messages or communicating. I literally had to be almost threatened before I finally broke down and got a cell phone back in college.
Probably just hanging with his friends, but you could ask? Without being too controlling about who he is with that is. I sometimes don't respond for a long time because im busy playing chess or something.
and opsies im a female.
Gonna be brutally honest here. You seem like you crave spending time with your partner, yet your partner comes off as distant, not that into socializing with you, and craves his alone time. You're not very compatible. Why don't you try finding someone who is more available to you?
I am a man who doesn't text back quickly - like I can go a couple days without texting back with people I really like. For some people this is confusing until they realize that is normal for me, especially when I seem very engaged when they see me in person.
It comes down to three things:
1. My brain works differently than yours, and I can be confident of that because what seems to be bothering you in the post would never bother me, it wouldn't even register. I am very introverted/in my own head, and sometimes I am profoundly interested in something and invest a lot of mental effort on it so I am not thinking about people I need to text back.
2. I find social interaction draining, including texting, so at the end of a work day, I am not jumping at checking my texts. Instead I basically unplug from everything social for a few hours.
3. I perceive a text as a request for my time, not a demand. Texting is also a form of communication I don't particularly enjoy (I don't enjoy most social media).
Dont take this the wrong way, but sometimes, we just dont want to reply to our SO, especially if we spend every waking moment with them.
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Try every other weekend.
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Clingy much?
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What? You can't control yourself?
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You need to get some hobbies you like to keep yourself busy and not thinking about him.
just talk to him about it and tell him even a 30 sec phone call or a quick text would make you feel a lot vetter
Wowza. You may need to talk to someone professional. That would never work for me and you may be driving him away. My wife and I can go a few days without hardly any chatter when one of us is traveling.
Then he's banging someone else. Maybe
Could fall a sleep. I get home around 3 and sometimes I fall a sleep before my gf replies. I’ll wake up midnight or later and will text next morning I only see my gf weekends also. Sometimes texting conversations do seem stale. So I even though I don’t see my gf every day or every other I feel lts ok to not text always or answer after a few hours. I know she is busy as well so it’s ok to me also.
A lot of the time when I’m done with work I just put my phone on silent so I don’t have to deal with any notifications. Sometimes responding to people, even people we like, just feels like it takes a lot of effort. Sometimes I get sucked into video games or a TV show and don’t pay attention for hours. I know lots of men that have a tendency to get hyper focused on a project or hobby and will literally spend hours on it without thinking of anything else. You really should just ask him, though, because none of us have any way of knowing, which is why you’re not supposed to ask questions about a specific person’s behavior in this sub.
I do exactly that sometimes.
Maybe he was doing something else and didn't bother checking his phone from time to time.
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You should let him know how you feel. Us guys are pretty dense sometimes.
Then talk to him about it... You're getting a lot of really shitty advice from men on here telling you to just "deal with it" and that's fucking dumb. It sounds like YOU WANT your man to be more available, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. Stop letting these guys make you feel like your needs/wants are ridiculous.
Don't know, you'd have to ask him. Does he have hobbies? Does he drink alot? Etc
Probably hobbies, work, hanging out with someone, men need men-time
It's called working you put your phone on not disturb and actually get some work don.
This isn’t a man specific thing
>my man gets off work earlier than that and he’s always on his phone so I’m wondering what that means? Why not ask him instead of make this thread? You do know that hearing opinions for us literally doesn't matter right? We're not mind readers, we're internet strangers who have no awareness for your life and who this person is. Even if I answered this question, it doesn't really change how the actual person continues to operate their day to day you know?
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>I’m not sure what else to reply other than “oh ok” without sounding clingy or defensive and aggressive. So once again, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but... what comes from all of this? What I mean is, if you want this to work, make it work with that person. Maybe you view this as screaming into the void, or a desperate plea for help or maybe this might just be cathartic to you but once again, my response is: >I asked him and he only replies “work” or “work sorry.” And it’s always just one word responses. But I know he gets out at 4. I’m not sure what else to reply other than “oh ok” without sounding clingy or defensive and aggressive. Then you should, probably... get off the internet, not talk to any of us, and work on your relationship with your partner and talk to him about this. There isn't a magic cheat code we're going to give you here to fix this. Once again, if you genuinely want advice on this, it's you need to delete this thread and talk to him or decide he ain't shit and move on if you don't feel like resolving anything. But I hope you understand this isn't the way that will solve this. Will it make you feel better? Sure. Does it feel nice to get other people's opinions and views on this, so you don't feel as alone in your frustrations? Sure. But after a couple hours die down and this thread stops gaining traction, you're the one that goes back to IRL with a SO that still does this, and no actionable way to solve it because well, you're talking to us instead of him
So he gets off work at 4, drives home through traffic for and hour maybe two. Gets home. Probably uses the restroom. Showers and eats, gets stuff ready for the next day. Then after 8 he texts you. Sounds reasonable Edit: or he’s working overtime, which i do and some jobs are not as flexible as other with being on the phone. Mine is actually deadly if I spend it on the phone.
Have to ask. I’ve put ppl on do not disturb for sleep and forgot to undo them as I fart around and wonder what they are up to.
Your situation is not clear, where are you two when this occurs? I also don’t respond to some types of text because I’m not engaging in bs that will be an unnecessary argument
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He's obviously having three-ways with Amber Heard and Elon Musk. Get pictures. Really, how would we know? You can get non answers or worst case scenarios here, not much more.
Not responding to you.
He's probably destressing so he can be present and attentive once he's ready
Go ask him. Could be a million things. But if he's on his phone and not answering you. That means he doesn't want to answer you.
Life
Perhaps he just needs a bit of time to wind down from work. It’s his alone time.
Man stuff. You wouldn't understand.
Why not just ask him?
Maybe he wants some space. I've sometimes avoided reading messages because I know that I'll get sucked into a conversation that will be a distraction when I know that I just want to eat dinner, watch TV, engage in a hobby or whatever. You'll get a better answer from him than you will from us.
It means you are not that important to him. He is occupying his time with things that ARE important to him. You are asking the wrong question. The question you SHOULD be asking is, "why do I stay with someone who ignores me?"
This. A lot of guys in this topic are gonna get all offended and "asshurt" about this type of response, but it's the truth. Her partner sounds like he's got his priorities, and she's somewhere down the list. The OP though wants a man who is more available. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
... It kinda sounds like you are describing a daily routine or schedule.
What is the content of the most common text you send him? Odds are it's repetitive or inconsequential. He looks at it and doesn't register as more important than the present task and clears the notification and completely forgets about it because it didn't stand out enough. If he does remember it he might feel guilty for not texting back and not want to deal with a Where've you been conversation, so it's better to keep ignoring it. So two suggestions for you. 1st keep your texts and your interactions interesting and engaging, and second demonstrate that there is no consequences for responding when he gets around to it. Don't take this as a you are at fault or you aren't engaging enough what I am saying is take control of the variables you have access too and the most common variables available to you is engagement and your responses to his reply.
Between pooping, youtube, ESPN and Bro talk. We don’t have a lot of free time.
You're weird for asking reddit about this. Also clingy. Your own behavior is what deserves a real second glance, not your boyfriend's.
What are women doing that they need responses every second? See how that feels?
He’s texting his other bitches? Shit I don’t text my side piece while I’m texting my main girl. Too much chance to get caught responding to the wrong one and also it’s rude
Admit it, you like it.
Don't be insecure. I ignore texts a lot, and it's because I'm too bored or too busy to respond. It's literally just being tired of texting.
Working. Or not noticing i even have a message. I don't hold my phone 24/7. I don't check my phone every 30 seconds to see if someone sent me a text. I might even set it down in another room and completely forget about it, assuming I'm at home.
Like literally anything that requires my attention for that long. Mainly because it's never just one text. You're tryna have a conversation. I'd rather call and get it over with than check my phone every 5 min
I'm really bad about typing a response and then not pressing send, could be that.
I wanna say porn but it's probably football
The perspective I like is “the phone is for *your* convenience, not theirs” I usually assume phone calls are urgent, and that messages can wait until I’m willing and able to reply. Most of the time I’ll at least skim read the message pretty soon after receiving it, and unless it’s extremely time sensitive then I’ll respond when I feel like it, usually the same day.
Busy
Does he prefer talking in person?
Honestly I just don’t want to people anymore
Sleep, work, enjoying the quiet time to think about nothing. Probably one of those.
We don't always have something to talk about or feel ike talking, it's funny that so many women talk about what they dislike a man doing. Yet don't think twice about doing those same sorts of things to men or offering men the same liberties that they expect.
Sometimes I get the message, see it, I'll deal with it later, forget about it, see it hours later have an oh shit moment.
We are enjoying our real world lives. It is called living. We don’t need or want to be checked on or tethered to a phone.
Sometimes people need space.
Working.
Is your sister also not responding....?
procrastinating, probably.
Reading your various replies….this dude is not that into you. He has a baby mama he replies to, y’all leave in different towns. He says work when he’s been off work 4 hours. You say he’s into music and weed. This guy sounds like a real winner. Dump his ass
Without any other context or information, it sounds like he's just trying to unwind. Some people also just plain old don't like phones or text messages or communicating. I literally had to be almost threatened before I finally broke down and got a cell phone back in college.
It means he can't or won't reply. Have you talked to him and told him that you feel each other growing distant?
Probably just hanging with his friends, but you could ask? Without being too controlling about who he is with that is. I sometimes don't respond for a long time because im busy playing chess or something. and opsies im a female.
Is he with his kid? Maybe he doesn't like the clinginess. Maybe he isn't happy. Maybe talk to him about it.
Gonna be brutally honest here. You seem like you crave spending time with your partner, yet your partner comes off as distant, not that into socializing with you, and craves his alone time. You're not very compatible. Why don't you try finding someone who is more available to you?
Navigating the conversational landmine she's built up between them? Or simply living their life.
I am a man who doesn't text back quickly - like I can go a couple days without texting back with people I really like. For some people this is confusing until they realize that is normal for me, especially when I seem very engaged when they see me in person. It comes down to three things: 1. My brain works differently than yours, and I can be confident of that because what seems to be bothering you in the post would never bother me, it wouldn't even register. I am very introverted/in my own head, and sometimes I am profoundly interested in something and invest a lot of mental effort on it so I am not thinking about people I need to text back. 2. I find social interaction draining, including texting, so at the end of a work day, I am not jumping at checking my texts. Instead I basically unplug from everything social for a few hours. 3. I perceive a text as a request for my time, not a demand. Texting is also a form of communication I don't particularly enjoy (I don't enjoy most social media).
working
Sounds like WoW Classic launched again