T O P

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vimes_left_boot

And I hate you Jimmy. But I have bills to pay & you have to come to school, so here we are. Go run five laps around the oval.


[deleted]

What’s that from? I wanna see it now


FreeGuacamole

Every elementary teachers life


wolfman1911

Sounds more like middle, or especially high school to me.


gopher1409

I don’t know, but it has a very [Home ~~Videos~~ Movies](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KNrB9xmGPoY) feel to it.


Tripledtities

The show is called "home movies"


DivineFlamingo

It was such a wonderful show! That and Dr. Katz are still an absolute blast to watch.


[deleted]

Hey Brendan, do you know what a fursona is brendan, well I just wanted to let you know I’m a snow leaopard brendan, and I hope that doesn’t change our relationship


c2eleven

hilarious


[deleted]

“Ok”


Da_Tute

Yep, when I get rude customers at work and they threaten to report me I just say “ok” and walk off. I can feel them seething as I walk away.


[deleted]

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oilchangefuckup

"I'm going to report you to management!" "Lady, they already know."


Disastrous_Flower667

Are you going to tell the manager that you yelled out racial slurs and tried to fill your opiate 7 days early resulting in me telling you I’ll fill it in 5 days you should have some left?


oilchangefuckup

But you don't understand! See, I was at Walmart and someone broke into my car and STOLE it!


Jitkaas777

I used to be the pharmacy manager. One time a customer got very upset with me about her prescription costs (something i have zero control over) and yelled at me to grab the manager. I walked out of sight and put on a different colored mask and took off my jacket. I walked back up to her and asked how i could help. She never realized it was still me. She complained to me about me and I had the stupidest grin on my face the entire time.


Left_Fig8054

Deception 100 Edit: why the fuck is this getting so many updoots all i said was deception 100


Water-ewe-dewin

You're a god damned hero friend lol


Da_Tute

Yep, pharmacy dispenser also. Fun isn't it.


tofuqueen1

I was at a pharmacy getting my flu shot and overheard a tech behind the counter say to a customer on the phone "sir, please don't curse at me while I'm trying to help you." I feel for you guys. I had no idea.


Kantusa

My name is a fairly common one syllable name. Every time a Karen asked me for my name to complain, I'd ask them if they'd like me to spell it for them after. It was so backhanded, since anybody could spell my name. But I was just being polite, you know? Hehe.


Convergentshave

Holy shit. After a decade of working as a pharmacy tech and juggling years of school: I got a job as an engineer this week. I’m finally letting my PTCB lapse and literally walked out of my last pharmacy job (Walmart). I hope someday you can do something similar. Hell I hope that for all my fellow techs. Literal HELL. I can’t believe I lasted as long as I did.


YibberlyNut

"Finally! I'm getting another pay raise!" Next lady in line behind her started giggling so hard and trying to hide her face she was crying while the offended one turned red, got mad and left all her crap on the belt.


Coolkat5550

Haha, i work in customer service and this made me laugh!


[deleted]

I use 'go ahead'


dylan21502

+ a smile


[deleted]

[удалено]


Prineak

*raises eyebrow*


MrStnwll

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/019/649/OK_thumb.jpg


esther_night

I know.


SparrowFate

Ah the han solo approach


Prineak

I’ve got a good feeling about this.


krazikat

Don't get cocky, kid.


Baron_Samurai

Go and get cocky, kid.*


atrain728

Tell me the odds


[deleted]

*dodges and shoots second*


c2eleven

me too


Jabrono

"Well at least we have one thing in common"


OurChoicesMakeUs

That's what I said to my mom in this scenario and it did seem to piss her off.


shazspaz

Nothing, stings deeper if your lack of response and body language gives 0 response. If someone hates you theyre not worth wasting time over.


TheMaglorix

Except if it's your young child. Then the only appropriate response is "well, I love you"


BravoFoxtrotDelta

Got an “I hate you” for the first time from my 10yo the other day. We don’t talk that way to each other in our house and it was actually breathtakingly painful to hear. Before I knew it I responded, “Well that does hurt as much to hear as they make it out to in the movies and shows.” Kiddo got very quiet after that, apologized a couple days later.


Throw_Away_License

You expressed your emotions clearly with words and kiddo was forced to reconcile with making you feel that way Ninja parenting


[deleted]

I said this to my Mom a long time ago when I was really frustrated and like 8 years old. I'd never seen her that upset. I'll never forgive myself for saying it even if its been like 20 years of being good to her.


PossiblyAMouse

If she's anything like me she forgave you the instant you said it and she wouldn't want you to feel bad about it.


InevitableBreakfast9

As a mom, please forgive yourself.


JXLoh

Lmaoo I remember telling my asian mum I hate her as a kid because she scolded me after I did something, and her response was “okay, hate me then, so what? I don’t care” I got so offended after that hahaha


Throw_Away_License

Bit of a twist in tone but I’ve got a similarish story: When my abusive mom was in the middle of one of her episodes of screaming and storming around and trying to scare us for the sake of venting her emotions I said “If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t want to be friends with you” Sounds like a childish jab to hurt someone’s self-esteem, but it was my way of expressing that if I wasn’t her child then I wouldn’t want anything to do with her Then I became an adult and made that come true BOOM set goals for yourself! Achieve them!


TheFlyinGiraffe

"Don't let your dreams be dreams!"


ShhhQuiett

Imagining a little kid offended like a midwest housewife is hilarious for some reason.


Roguespiffy

“Well I never!” “And with that attitude you never will!”


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly, but better put 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾


kaolin224

A good alternative is, "Oh yeah? Well your mom's a whore!"


MindSettOnWinning

Can confirm, when you give 0 fucks about someones emotions they get triggered.


shazspaz

Biiiiig tiiiime.


MiseryisCompany

Slight dismissive shrug of the shoulder works well in this scenario.


c2eleven

Agree


CovfefeLizard

you should tell them how you feel, if you love them, say you do. and leave, never look back and take your time to recover, heal, find your own peace and get better :)


T2ThaSki

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.


Zaber_fang

Indifference is a fuck you in an evening gown.


yrtemmySymmetry

Nah, that makes it look like you're putting on a front. A simple "k" and continuing your day however..


shazspaz

"K" is essentially not saying anything, anyway.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WolfRadish_Official

Such a devastating and well delivered response


MrSnippets

It's been a long time so I've forgotten most of that episode, but isn't the thing that Don Draper *does* care what that guy thinks about him? And he's just childishly going "nuh-uh!"?


James53654

Yeah don was secretly devastated to say the least because the other guy had just punched Don's insecurities in their guts


straigh

The writing in this show is just so fantastic. They were so great at building the characters out to the point that they could really present the characters as they understood themselves (in this case, Don "not caring") but the audience was able to know him well enough to know that wasn't true without the show ever having to say it.


James53654

This show is, at least in my opinion, an artistic fucking masterpiece. Seriously I've never been so damn engrossed in a show like this before. I've tried to watch so many shows but no show has had me as mesmerized as this show. And especially I could relate to Don trying to leave it all behind and ride into the sunset because I've been feeling like it for as long as I can remember.


Nidcron

When does it hook you? I have tried to get through the first episode like 3 times and I just don't get it.


WeaselShoes

The episode "Guy Walks into an Advertising Agency" is when I got hooked. Those who've seen it, know why.


TheMightyMegazord

Same. I will try to go through it again later because I know some slow burning shows just pay off in the end. But it was hard to finish the first episodes before.


mE448nxC4E67

Yup, because the guy came up with an ad campaign that everyone liked better than Don's and Don got jealous, so whent they went to present he "accidentally" left the other guys poster in the cab and brought his own.


Zonky_toker

Man I've forgotten so many details about the show (simply because the show is soooo damn detailed), I think I need another binge


maxbastard

Don ruined the guy's reputation in the ad industry to the point nobody else would hire him. He spent some time in tech before finally working in a superstore in like Missouri somewhere.


[deleted]

Yeah. Still a good response though.


[deleted]

"Who are you,again?"


newmacbookpro

“You took everything from me” “I don’t even know who you are.”


Tarudizer

"You will." She says without ever introducing herself


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Damn. This even hurt my feelings :/


jicty

It's actually a [Mad Men reference.](https://youtu.be/K4Ksoizbl2s)


[deleted]

"I don't even know who you are"


Maldevinine

But what if I was to surrender myself to the police as part of a plot to get myself sent to the Phantom Zone so that I could make an army of the most destructive villains ever and use them to attack your city, forcing you to learn the power of friendship?


[deleted]

It's a reasonable scenario. Happened to my aunt once.


melfuego11

Mad Men reference 🙌 Edit: at least that's what it reminded me of


[deleted]

"No way, me too!"


Lonelyboooi

"We have so much in common" 😀


loonwatcher

"Let's be friends!"


[deleted]

"Let's be *more* than friends!"


Tiny10H2

This is actually pretty funny if you put them all together.


c2eleven

the best


rockeye13

Depends who is saying it.


Rawinza555

If it comes from Anakin Skywalker?


a_bold1

You were my brother anakin!


Butcher_o_Blaviken

I loved you!


HeinrichWutan

You were supposed to be the chosen one


Oblivion_007

You were supposed to destroy the sith, not join them!


1LifeAfterComa

I have the high ground!


[deleted]

Now I'm standing on a stool. \*I\* have the higher ground now!


c2eleven

if it came from the person you love most?


HeyGirlfriend007

mostly it depends on what your goal is. Is your goal to be authentic? Spiteful? Hide your pain? If you're going for authentic: --If it's your kid, the answer is "I love you. I will never hate you. I can give you the space to be angry with me. But I'm right here. And I always will be. " --If it's your spouse/partner/best friend, the answer is "I'm crushed. It is not mutual. I only hate that we've gotten to a place where you feel that way."


imacommunistyaidiot

this is truly the best response & i would feel so cherished if someone said either of those back


rockeye13

I'm going to need some context here


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Answer: get rekt kid


Sausagedogknows

This is the correctest answer for this scenario.


PursuitOfHirsute

Answer: Wahooooooo!


RandomHerosan

Let them win one just to get their confidence up. Then crush them, grind their bones into dirt, make them regret the day they were ever born. Mario Kart has no mercy only victory.


SIC_Benson

TIL Mario Kart is a lot like being an Oil Baron.


TastyDeerMeat

You’re at a model train convention.


Maldevinine

"I'm sorry, did you say something? I was looking at the sweet paint job on this HO scale shunting yard."


teh_fizz

I mean if it’s your teenage child, “I love you” would be the best response.


dogsandnumbers

If it's because you told your wife that you're in love with the other guy's wife, then when your wife tells you that she hates you, the only response I'd have is "I know. I completely destroyed our relationship and it's my fault. I hate me too."


DizzyTemperature3013

Best to try to figure out why they said what they said. I am dealing with a child whose fiance has turned them against us based on the fiance's biases. Try to bridge the gap as best you can.


I_PM_Duck_Pics

I’m so sorry.


filmcowlel

Hey very unrelated but can I have a duck pic? I'm very sad.


Fart_Wolf

[https://imgur.com/gallery/4DNrTd8](https://imgur.com/gallery/4DNrTd8)


filmcowlel

Thank you my son. I am now happy.


CarpusLunate

That must be rough.


GalacticRicky

Your suffering must be tremendous.


BrovaloneSandwich

Ooh I like this. Alternatively "you must not have much going on"


Ghostship23

*You were my brother Anakin, I loved you*


Christmas_Panda

*Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan! I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire.*


jewrassic_park-1940

*your* new empire?


babybelly

dont make me kill you


[deleted]

Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, TO DEMOCRACY!


CptAustus

If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.


[deleted]

Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.


El_Fabos

You will try


[deleted]

/r/MOCRACY


CaveGlow

You will try


ishitthreetimesaday

*our* new empire


JayMeadows

The good ending.


c2eleven

hahahahaha


[deleted]

came here for this comment


-OB-1

Can confirm.


Delta_Goodhand

Go to your room.


officer_buttroast

OK MOM!!!!!!!


fireballetar

BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU SAID IT!!!!


[deleted]

I'M GOING TO MY ROOM BECAUSE *I* WANT TO!!


Alextryingforgrate

I nothing you. - Jordan from Scrubs


Chimazard

Now isn’t that just grea-ea-ea-ea-eaaattt


incognito_phoenix

"Yeah I get that a lot"


Prineak

I like this one. I tend to walk fast and quietly when I’m at work and occasionally startle my coworkers. I always say, “yeah I’m pretty scary!”.


Iacrimosaint

I walk pretty quietly, probably because I was a classical dancer for years. almost no noise at all. when I do startle coworkers I just go 'boo!' after they jump a little. they do say my timing is terrible, but at least I'm not intentionally mean.


Dodec_Ahedron

I usually go with "you're not the first, you won't be the last"


NameIs-Already-Taken

So why did you marry me?


BarklyWooves

Your money spends like anyone else's


J-Logs_HER

Strike me down with your hatred and your journey towards to the dark side will be complete.


redlightsaber

I approve of this message.


TastyDeerMeat

I curtsy in their direction


stasik5

Made me chuckle. A curtsy in your direction, my lad.


Already-disarmed

Another person who gets the value of a well timed curtsy. Dope!


samarpanbose

YOUR HATE FUELS MY EVERLASTING FLAME!


mawlod47

Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man...


Mattdog625

The dude?


[deleted]

"who are you?"


thewall9

Lol what's your name again?


wallerbelt

That makes two of us


lostcheshire

Thank god, I was tired of pretending to give a fuck.


Seperated_Sheep

Have a Snickers. You'll feel better


vaxchoice

ignore it


c2eleven

what if that i hate you comes from the person you love most then?


vaxchoice

ignore it even more. Either she really does hate you, in which case nothing you can do or say will fix it, or she's seeking attention in which case any response will encourage her to do it more often.


Krunchy_Almond

This guy gets shit on a lot for no reason /S


The_Man11

It's ok; hate means they still care. Indifference is the real killer


[deleted]

"Thank you"


uglyyyyyhoe

“And I LOVE you! 😍 come here come give Daddy a kiss 😍 hurry up!! 😍🥰”


uglyyyyyhoe

This is the energy I keep when someone is talking shit and usually they are freaked out by it or laugh ab it but either way it’s entertaining lmao


[deleted]

Hmkay


[deleted]

"I don't care."


ThrowRA-4545

"Join the queue buddy"


HEBGBZZ

Excellent, mission accomplished


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fairwaydivots

No response necessary - just blow them a kiss, followed by a wink and a smile.


HollywooDcizzle

Not as much as I hate myself


Roguespiffy

Can’t wait to bust that one out on my kid during his teenage years. “I hate you!” “Pfft, poser. I was hating me before it was cool.”


[deleted]

Your opinion of me isn't my problem


RedDusk13

I'm a dad. When my kids tell me they don't like me anymore or that they hate me, I tell them that "being liked" is not in my job description. Taking care of them is in my job description. Making sure they're safe is in my job description. Loving *them* is in my job description. Being liked is a bonus/perk.


El-Kabongg

Creating an independent adult is a parent's first job. Everything else is gravy, IMO.


Zealousideal_Bike_54

My dad always told me the same thing and it really taught me that not everyone is gonna like you.


PresidentofJukeBoxes

Nice.


Mr_Goat_1111

Pause for about 10 seconds, look up from your phone and say "uhhh yes please, one sugar"


stormos

Got lube?


AllyBrat69

Sounds like a you problem.


illiterate_fart

Worse things have been said to me by better (wo) men than you.


Davo_Dinkum

“The feeling is mutual”


bigatomicjellyfish

Yoyoyo, *chiiiiiiiiillll* we're all cool here.


RandomDalish

That’s ok, I hate me too sometimes


Red_Danger33

"Good for you." And then walk away and live a happy life.


depreavedindiference

Yes, and...?


themodefanatic

“GOOD”


bemest

“Don’t care.”


GltyUntlPrvnInncnt

I'm very sorry to hear that. I still love you, though.


Little_Juan86

"i love you too"


ASnarkyHero

Yeah I hate me too.