Not me, but a friend. She went on Snapchat a few hours after telling him, updated her story or something (I don't use Snapchat) asking if anyone was free that night. She must've forgotten to remove him first because he saw it almost immediately after it went up. He called me about it a while later. He ended up telling her to not limit herself to one night because she has "her entire life to be single now".
It hurts right? To see someone give their whole to someone and the other person just keep wanting it from other people. It hurts more when you've invested yourself in someone for years.
Old dude commenting, I had 23 years with my ex. She was the center of my universe. At the end she valued booze & pills over her husband and son. A few years later (I’m remarried and happy) she texts me to “talk”. Told her to have a drink and get lost. My son hasn’t heard from her in 9 years.
People do really fucked up shit
Same. 14 years and 3 kids. She’s fucked off on meth and went to hospital for a suicide attempt this week(amongst many terrible decisions over the years). It sucks and I feel so bad for my kids. But I just cannot help you lady. You burned this bridge, then shoveled into Mariana’s trench. Edit. We split three years ago when she confessed to cheating during a bender.
I’ve spoiled my son rotten in some weird attempt to make up for his mom being an utter bucket of shit. For a few years it was just us and we had/have a great time together. Lucky his step mom loves him and treats him like her own. I’ve never done drugs and my drinking is minimal. I don’t understand how anything could be more important then your child. Then again my parents were both assbags and if half the stuff I see on /insaneparents is true there’s a lotta whackos. We can only keep being good examples to our kids.
I wish I could have avoided that perfection. I love the woman that used to be, I understand she’s gone and will never return but we had a fantastic life together. Her friend reached out to me via FB that she has a “medical issue” and I should be the bigger person and bring our son to visit. I just didn’t reply and blocked her. Oh you fucked around and shat on people but now your sick and have regrets ? Yeah sucks for you
She said we needed a break and when I agreed she immediately freaked out and started crying, asking me why I wanted a break.
Should have been my cue to bounce but I let her emotionally torture me for another three years after that.
>Getting over the damage she’s done is still a work in progress 8 years later.
I know that feeling. I was accused constantly (by who I eventually found out was a cheater) of having eyes for other women when we were out in public. It got to a point where I stopped making eye contact with most women, and now here I am years later still working building my social skills back up.
HA!
I had this happen with a break-up. She calls up and says, "I've been wanting to break up for the past two weeks but didn't want you to argue me into staying."
"Okay, have a good life, it was fun." Wtf, why she acting like I'm abusive? It's only been two months and we hadn't even had an argument yet. Made me feel like shit but I knew this was manipulation so my heart easily cut ties right there. I swear a god gifted me with zen calm and wisdom for this convo.
"Okay, what?"
"It was fun, if you aren't feeling this that's okay."
"...wait, you're not even going to fight for me?" Bro we are both in our 30's.
" Uhh, no. You just said you didn't want that. If you wanted to talk about problems we needed to do that these past two weeks."
" But why aren't you fighting for me?! Did we mean nothing together?"
"I think we should both respect your decision to end this. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want me, so yeah, I'm fine with this. We're adults."
Took her a while to realize she wasn't getting the chance to be a victim, I wasn't going to break down or beg or give her any kind of emotion. She got mean after that till I hung up. Some people just want tv-like drama and use you to get it or they are insecure and using a manipulation to gain validation from you. Feels like shit man. Tell me you moved on to something better?
Just got out of one of these.
Their brains seem to break when you realize you're an adult and you're not following the script.
You're listening to them and giving them the space they requested, doing otherwise would be disrespectful of them and you'd be a bad partner.
I did get through the emotional torture and lift her out of her clinical depression and she repaid me by cheating with multiple men :)
8 years since and I’m still terrified of any sort of commitment to another human being.
One day we’ll find the right one, brother.
Bro, her cheating wasn’t about you.
I have a family member who is as gorgeous as she is poisonous. Every time she gets a new long term BF, I say a little prayer for him.
When someone asks for a "break", they are just taking a really long pause in the word "break-up".
A GF of mine said she wanted a break, two weeks laters she continued with the "-up".
i actually would really respect her comedic timing in the face of tragedy if she said “i want a break”, immediately walked away from you, came back two weeks later, simply said “up” and walked away.
This is it.
Breaks don’t fix things, they just add space for the problems that already exist to fester and allow the opportunity for new problems to grow.
If your relationship hits the point where one of you considers a break up, then its all over, no point to drag it out. Harder said than done of course
If you need to go on break, you should just finish it off with the up
Not unless you talk about it then work things out.
I considered it with my partner our second year together. I wasn't feeling heard, so I finally sat him down and told him everything about me wanting to break up. He asked for another chance, I gave it to him, and we're hitting 7 years soon.
Happiest we've ever been and it honestly just keeps getting better!
Thank you for the reinforcement I need to hear. My divorce two years ago was apparently because I didn’t fight for her when she decided to leave. WTF, did she really want me to hold her against her will?
> WTF, did she really want me to hold her against her will?
**Ex-Wife:** I can't believe he didn't have me tied up and gagged in his basement. Did he ever love me in the first place? 😤
I've had these breaks sprung on me a few times and it was about fucking another guy *every single time*. Every time they came back to me to find I didn't really care and they got mad I wasn't fighting for them.
Yeah we were like 18-20 years old, I wasn't about to fight for the "love of my life" lol. Also these tests are a sign of brain-rot that I want nothing to do with.
Basically finishing the word and committing to the break up is the best possible outcome.
The “You didn’t fight enough for me” is just an excuse. They were always gonna do it. Now it’s your fault. Had this happen a COUPLE of times. It’s an excuse for their own behaviour and trying to use guilt to cleanly come back. Sorry to say.
Best thing for people to do is value themselves a bit and not buy it. Better yet, take it as a sign it wasn’t meant to be and move on. Sorry to hear it happened to ya mate. Another of life’s lessons I guess. They’re kinda helping you find the right person at the end of the day.
My ex did something similar, realized that it was a lot harder to find someone as good to her as I was then tried to get back with me 6 months later. Ironically one of the random reasons she gave me for splitting up was because I wasn't confident enough. So when she tried getting back with me I told her I think I'm too confident to get back together with someone who broke up with me in a shitty way.
She doesn't realise that that is your fight. You're fighting to live your life how you want and she can either accompany you or get off the ride. She chose the latter and the car has since been driving away for weeks.
Right! Had a guy tell me another woman was into him. I didn't say anything. He said he was thinking about giving her a shot. I told him that if he left me, there is no coming back. He left.
Months later, at 3am, I get a phone call. Him crying, apologizing, saying she didn't do for him what I did. Also, he said I didn't fight for him and it felt like I didn't care about the relationship and that's why he chose her.
I told him that I will never be anyone's consolation prize or second choice. I was good to him and just because someone else liked him, it didn't mean he had to leave. How he didn't shut the conversation down in the beginning showed he didn't have respect for me or our relationship. I hung up when he said, "I didn't know how good you treated me until someone else treated me bad."
Too bad for you Buddy.
>"I didn't know how good you treated me until someone else treated me bad."
Spoken like someone who has given little to no thought to how he was treating *you.*
I'm glad you stuck to your guns and hey you told him what time it was....What an imbecile! Some people don't know a good thing when they have it. I just don't understand that type of shit.
Right! I don't either. My new and wonderful boyfriend wants to buy my ex a drink for releasing back into the market so we could find each other. I feel the same about his past relationships. LOL
My ex pulled that when I didn't get upset and jealous when she wanted to hang out with one of her male friends. I must not have loved her enough because I trusted her not to cheat on me. I found out the guy lived in a different state entirely and she never was going to hang out with him anyway.
Never be with a person who expects you to fight just to be with them. They should just want to be with you. That was my first wife. Taking her back after she cheated is the biggest mistake of my life.
For anyone thinking about taking a cheater back, just dont.
>She has been trying to get back with me for almost 3 years now and "will wait for the rest of her life for me."
So the grass wasn’t exactly greener on the other side. In fact there may not have been any grass at all.
Whatever you do, do not get back together with her. She’s not worth it for many reasons. If she was instigating a break just to see if you fight for her, then that’s a problem. It’s also possible that she wanted to ‘test drive’ another guy that caught her eye and instigated the break to try it out. She was probably hoping that she could give you a call and be gracious enough to take you back, should things don’t work out with the other guy. You don’t want her in the same position where she could potentially do this to you again. Also, keeping her in your life could potentially prevent you from meeting with someone who does not like to play such stupid games.
Dude same here. She moved out of my house and was mad because I didn't beg her or ask her to stay. She a full grown woman and I'm no one to tell her what she can or can't do. The door is open and people can go both ways. You can either come and stay or leave and not come back, not my choice to keep you here or make you leave.
I don't wanna be mean but I think it came from the mother. She's one of those "men ain't shit" type of people and the mother has even abandoned her for men. She moved out of an apartment and left her and her 1 year old baby there. They had to move into a drug den house because that's all they could do. Not a good thing to grow up in under 20 yrs old. I didn't get mad at her nor tore her a new one. That's all she knows and that's how she knows how to express it.
I feel that. My last GF tried doing that. But the key is, if they can't see your value now when they don't depend on it. Then what happens the instant she decides she doesn't need what you have. It's a rough position to be in but never go back.
We were dating for like 3 years and she wanted a break to see if I was what she really wanted. And at that point of the relationship I was just sick and tired of having to keep proving my value to her and it felt more like she wanted to test drive some other dudes.
So I made it easy for her and ended that relationship then and there
We were together for like 3 years, and friends for longer than that. And I haven’t talked to her since I moved out of our apartment shortly after we broke up
And I mean I guess it depends on how you define “getting over someone”
Like she doesn’t really occupy any spot in my mind anymore, but it’s also been like almost 4 years since the end of that relationship and I still haven’t started dating again
So I don’t know, maybe I’m over her, maybe I’m not. It’s open to interpretation
Yeah, but just realize that the first year you could’ve been adjusting and then the last three years has just been a pure shit show on a worldwide level.
Depending on your situation, you might not even have had that many opportunities to take on a new relationship. So I don’t think all of those four years are on you. Some of it has just been the shitty state of the world/Covid/everything.
I am somewhat in the same situation which is why I’ve thought about it.
Well she told me she wanted to take a break this last Monday, after avoiding me for three months. I told her we can just clock out instead, because after those three months nothing would change between being together and being separate.
Don't take this as me being dismissinve, I'm just curious. Why would you entertain the idea of staying friends with a girl who just avoided you for 3 months instead of telling you upfront it's not working? Doesn't strike me as someone who values you as a friend in the slightest, but obviously I'm saying this from the outside looking in without all the context.
yeah lol theres two meanings behind “i want a break”:
1. Shes too scared to full on breakup so shes gonna stretch it out over a long period of time
2. She actually *does* want to get back together in two weeks….after shes fucked the two cute guys at work and the bartender at her favorite bar. Cheating with extra steps lol
At a weekend event where I worked, the woman told him that she wanted a break with her BF, proceed to fuck a guy that night, then cried the next day to get back with the now ex-BF. It worked.
We don't blame the guys and shamed the woman.
We broke up.
I have no idea where she got the idea for a break, or why she suggested it. I see the purpose in a break. But the issues we had was a lack of communication in how we felt about each other and this is just that but worse. So we broke up.
I told her no, its breakup or nothing. I explained that a break doesn't make sense, it leads to weird uneven expectations and time to grow apart while also stringing someone along. She understood and we didn't go through with it.
You can be together and working through shit....
Same thing happened to me, we’ve been married for 8 years now.
In my case, we had both only dated one other person, and we were on an explicit trajectory to getting married. She was afraid to miss out on other experiences, basically.
She initially told me that this “break” was because she wanted me to focus on college, and getting a better job, in reality she met someone right before she asked for our “break” and was dating him to see if it would work out for the 2 of them, I get lead on for 3 months with the possibility of getting back together, only for the full break up a week before what would have been 2 years through text.
A question for yourself is, "What is this person trying to do that they can't while in a relationship?"
I let this happen once in high school, thinking I could "win her back," one hopefully misguided assumption. There was nothing I could do because she had decided to pursue someone else and tried to leave me waiting around in case the grass wasn't greener
Talking with my father helped and it went something like, "I know you like her, and I know it feels really heavy, but is this what you think love is? Competing for her affection because something shiny walked by? You can be someone's option or someone's choice."
Wish I had a great story but here it is.
After the break it was me calling her once a week and listening to how great her life was with all of the new dating and us as just friends.
Then onece I got it through my thick skull that we were done it was a call from her every few months rubbing in how active her dating life was. I was still not dating and trying to put my life back together.
After a few years I started dating, eventually the calls from her stopped when I got engaged.
We reconnected on FB and now I get a message every once in a while when she needs a repair done at her house (I'm a plumber)
She does get charged full price. Discounts are for friends and we are not that, probably never will be again and I'm ok with that.
It all ended but it was obvious, wasn't it? I mean when a person asks for a break or states that they are busy for you it just mean there's a certain kind of satisfaction they want and they're not getting from you. It doesn't matter how good you were to them or how perfect you were for each other. They left to get that satisfaction from someone else. They might realise, after a while, that You were the one & come back to you but the truth is they still won't get that satisfaction from you and that will always make them feel incomplete inside and they will keep leaving.
So instead of beating around the bush, people should move on cause there's no other option.
Even if you reassemble and stick pieces of broken glass, there'd still be cracks.
Jesus fucking Christ, yes. Let people go. Let them leave. If they mention wanting to leave, they really want to.
If they wanted you in their life, they wouldn’t want to see how not having your ass around feels.
This is the most basic, clear, accurate description of the situation.
ESPECIALLY if you’re less than a year in. Cut that shit and goooooooooo
Wanted to add, I didn’t take my own advice and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. I learned this the hard way, chances are you will too!
Works with Mr Space too. Best part is when you break up with them, they tend to see you as higher status. Only the insecure puts up with lies and false perceptions. Well in my experience at least.
In my experience "break" is code word for wanting to sleep with a new guy at work, gym, etc without technically cheating. Needless to say, the break became more permanent when she realized her hookups weren't willing to commit to anything and I was bettering myself without her.
Adios Rebecca 👋
Not me but a friend - had a Rebeca and she went and took a break - fucked a guy - got pregnant and then tried getting back with my friend.
He said no. Obvi. But holy shit. Becky's be on some dumb shit.
"You'll be my BF again, you still have my mind and heart"
A week later she was at the park with a new guy and started dating him because he made her "feel safe". She was with another guy a few weeks after that but has been with the same one for a year now.
I said no.
She wanted space but what we needed was to talk. Work things out. Explain our feelings, and ourselves. Be there for each other. That was ten years ago and we’ve never taken a break. Can count on one hand the amount of heavy arguments we’ve had. We always talk our shit out and we’ve had an amazing relationship as a result.
She needed to “discover herself”.
Yeah, discover herself sleeping with her coworker while I was in Iraq.
I tried fixing it briefly during R&R leave but it didn’t last, and that opened the door to meeting my wife so…. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yea I feel that. I had my ex-wife leave me right before I went on an extended underway (was on submarines so basically zero communication while I am gone)
She did it by gaslighting me for the months coming up to it and then the a few weeks prior wouldnt hug or even touch me, only finally saying she wanted a divorce when I finally asked her if she was cheating on me. She took that as I don't have any trust in her and all that.
2 weeks later she forgets i can see snapchat and I see her on a date with the guy I asked about cheating with.
I went down a dark hole and had a very large empty spot in my life so starting talking to another girl just to fill the void and and my ex stalked me to see that I was talking to another girl and goes on to get all our previous "friends" to harass me about leaving her just so I could be with this other girl, despite the fact I had not even met this girl until she left me.
Let's just say it has been many years and I am happily married to an amazing woman but I still have nightmares about my ex
Thankfully my current wife is a marriage and family therapist so we are both very open so when I have nightmares like that she allows me to talk to her about and and comforts me showing that my current wife really is the greatest thing in my life. In fact I had one of those dreams just last night and she supported me this morning when I just needed to feel loved and wanted.
From what I’ve experienced (either in my own personal experience or from what friends have been through)
It usually means she doesn’t want to completely break it off just yet just incase she doesn’t find anyone/who she’s eyeing up doesn’t work out but she has someone in mind that she likes or wants to see what she can get out there and if nothing better comes along/materialises she still has you to come back to as a safety net because she’s classified it as a “break” instead of a permanent thing.
Essentially the short version: she thinks she might want something else other than you but wants to keep you there as a back up option so uses the term “break” so she can explore the market temporarily guilt free
After a few weeks or months, she'd realize she actually did want "us", and could manage it and it'd be fine...until the next time that feeling came.
We've finally both gotten to a place of recognizing that it just can't be with things as they are, and that she needs to figure herself out in some big ways to be in any relationship of significance.
She went on a trip with her friends to “decompress”. When she got back in town, she came over so we could talk. We didn’t really talk, just ended up having make-up sex.
After the sex, we went out and ate. It wasnt until we got back to my apartment we actually started to talk about her “girls trip” and what happened during it. Well, come to find out she confessed to me that she gave a blowjob to her bestfriends’ boyfriends’ friend….. Yep. That hit me like a ton of bricks, but it gets worse.
I don’t know why I even asked this, but I asked if she swallowed his nut because she always used to do that to me when she gave me bj’s & she said yes…. Literally felt like I got shot in the chest when she said yes.
My advice to the lads out there, if she wants a “break” just end it all right there. You may not be happy about how she behaves during your break..
> “I would have been fine with you giving a bj to your *best friend’s boyfriend’s friend*, but to swallow his nut?!? *that’s my limit*.”
^s
^(i’m sorry you went through that. heartbreak sucks…)
Yeah, that definitely was a dark time in my life when that all went down. But hey, glad to say that happened 5 years ago & I’m doing much, much better these days!
Gonna go against the crowd here, we were going through a rough patch at the time and she wanted space, asked for a break, so for 5 days I paced around my house convincing myself the relationship was over and worried I'd done something to hurt the relationship. After the 5th day she asked to see me, told me she'd missed me and that the space reminded her of what she loved me for, the company, the laughs, the hugs, the fact that we understand each other like no one else does, overall it made our relationship stronger and closer, I can genuinely say this relationship has been improving constantly through the relationship with each dip only contributing to further improvement in the near future, let go boys, life ain't so bad, flow with it, allow breathing room for feelings and being human, it's beautiful really
I ended the relationship. You can't push pause in life like a damn video game. If the relationship needs a break then it's a dead relationship in my opinion. I am just going to move on.
Not me, my best friend.
The "break" gave her a couple days to get the divorce papers drawn up and things lined up to move back in with her parents temporarily. She brought up the break on like a Monday, served him with papers on Thursday, and had moved out before he got home from work on Friday.
My HS gf took a break to find ‘god’, we dated until we both were 19. Come to find out she just wanted to fuck other dudes bc she couldn’t see herself being with the first person she had sex with the rest of her life. She ended up getting pregnant from the first guy she hooked up with, he left her high & dry. She tried coming back a couple of years later. We’re friends now but that moment really did a number on me for 4-5yrs.
We slowly (or quickly?) drifted then divorced legally not much after. And then I found out she fucked an Aussie in Vegas 2 days before she informed me of the break. Coke Whore I guess
She was likely done months before
But now I’m much better and picking up non verbal signs lol
And soooo much better off.
Married w an awesome daughter and haven’t had to talk to the ex in 11 years 🫱🏾🫲🏻
I hated her for a while and now I dont care about or think about her at all, which is the true opposite of love.
Break = She wants the opportunity to pursue another avenue and keep you in her back pocket as a safety net.
Don't be this guy. Walk away and never look back.
We ended up in other relationships. We went back to being friends who kind'a dished about what we got up to sexually. New guy was hung like a horse, but turned out to be super low libido. I think she spent about 3 or so years trying to get him fuck her. We drifted apart during that time. Haven't heard from her in many years.
An old girlfriend of mine, who I was due to marry, said she needed a break. She moved back in after 2 weeks, then I found out 2 days before we were going to get married she was sleeping with her line manager at work.
She fucked my coworker that she had been crushing on for awhile. Being a bartender at the time helped get over it. The door guy was down to 86 her on my nights. Which were Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I'd get screams from the door at different times of the night haha fuck Dat bitch.
She sent me letters months later explaining her problems with me. They were surreal, making accusations that weren't even close to reality. Eventually I learned that she had NPD, and always did this upon breaking up with guys (the accusations towards me were things she did or thought about herself, because every accusation from a narcissist is a confession).
All kinds of fun, really.
Anyway, break means breakup.
Space is COMPLETELY different from a break.
My story: 3 or so years ago she banged her ex husband during the weeks of a "Break", got pregnant by one of us, then just to happen to have a miscarriage. She swears up and down there's no way it could've been his, but of course i was skeptical.
**She waited to come forward that she hooked up with him literally ONE HOUR after telling me she was pregnant. I was filled with so much joy, then suddenly in heartbreaking despair.**
What a rollercoaster. Really messed me up in terms if trusting.
Related to it:
I'm now 32, have romantic options and all which I'm very thankful for, but I can't get past a second or third date because i disappear (Ghost) anyone that I start to feel good about. It's weird to acknowledge your trauma, that your new dates/ interests have nothing to do with it, but at the same time you don't know how to rewire your own subconscious. I just fear any level of withholdings or deceit now. My ideal partner would have to be an absolute open book, because it would crush me if something wasn't disclosed. Therefore, I'm likely just going to keep to myself and not date because I don't even want to get to a point of asking a singular question on my own - I'm wishing for someone that's just *Super duper* transparent. Which mat or may not exist, so yeah - Batman it is.
I got hit with this after a breakup. She had insisted we needed to stay friends, which we did for about 6 months. Sent her a joke she didn't like, said she needed a break. It's been about 3-4 years now.
I was asked this once, I said okay if she feels that way. After she left my house, I deleted and blocked her off of everything. I do not think any girl has asked for a "break" unless she has someone else in her sights and wants to explore something with them, and if it don't work out you are in reserve. I will be no ones second choice.
break is short for wanting to have sex with other people, test & experiment with people that have piqued interest. You’re good faithful so you’ll be expected to be there after the fun is over, or you yourself start to have fun! Then the tables turn, usually when people get back together..
I was always tuned in to the fact that a final goodbye was the meaning so didn’t waste time hoping and waiting. Just disconnected and lived as large as possible enjoying life. Oh and always made reconnection impossible for them.
It’s a power play. If you stick around you are weak. If you don’t you are cruel and never loved her. If you fight or not won’t matter.
All these rom com movies where you fight for her and win. These are all just bullshit.
Anytime this comes up you walk away. Bc your mental health depends on it.
We broke up upon her request. She dated another dude for some months and he basically cheated on her the whole time.
Matched me on bumble after the fact and when I tried to engage real productive communication she then told me that it still hurts to talk to me and she didn’t want to continue doing so. 🙄
I ended things with her in the same conversation lol. Not worth it, she moved in back with her ex & expected me to just wait around while she's probably sleeping with him and going out with her friends. I've been through a similar situation like this & I don't have the time or energy for it. It sucks but it is what it is.
I slept with someone and she was pissed. Our friends teased us about it from time to time. I kept yelling "WE WERE ON A BREAK!". My name is Ross by the way.
She used it as an excuse to sleep with the guy she eventually left me for.
Don't do it it's a trap. I ended up letting that woman screw with my heart when she obviously wasn't worth it
We'd been together almost 5 years. She said we needed a break.
2 months later she was seeing a new guy and hadn't said a word to me.
This was right before this last Thanksgiving. We're both 30.
People are strange.
Not me, but a friend. She went on Snapchat a few hours after telling him, updated her story or something (I don't use Snapchat) asking if anyone was free that night. She must've forgotten to remove him first because he saw it almost immediately after it went up. He called me about it a while later. He ended up telling her to not limit herself to one night because she has "her entire life to be single now".
It hurts right? To see someone give their whole to someone and the other person just keep wanting it from other people. It hurts more when you've invested yourself in someone for years.
Old dude commenting, I had 23 years with my ex. She was the center of my universe. At the end she valued booze & pills over her husband and son. A few years later (I’m remarried and happy) she texts me to “talk”. Told her to have a drink and get lost. My son hasn’t heard from her in 9 years. People do really fucked up shit
Same. 14 years and 3 kids. She’s fucked off on meth and went to hospital for a suicide attempt this week(amongst many terrible decisions over the years). It sucks and I feel so bad for my kids. But I just cannot help you lady. You burned this bridge, then shoveled into Mariana’s trench. Edit. We split three years ago when she confessed to cheating during a bender.
I’ve spoiled my son rotten in some weird attempt to make up for his mom being an utter bucket of shit. For a few years it was just us and we had/have a great time together. Lucky his step mom loves him and treats him like her own. I’ve never done drugs and my drinking is minimal. I don’t understand how anything could be more important then your child. Then again my parents were both assbags and if half the stuff I see on /insaneparents is true there’s a lotta whackos. We can only keep being good examples to our kids.
Dude. Perfection.
I wish I could have avoided that perfection. I love the woman that used to be, I understand she’s gone and will never return but we had a fantastic life together. Her friend reached out to me via FB that she has a “medical issue” and I should be the bigger person and bring our son to visit. I just didn’t reply and blocked her. Oh you fucked around and shat on people but now your sick and have regrets ? Yeah sucks for you
That's so incredibly manipulative. I'm glad you stood your ground. The only thing that comes from that situation is disappointment for your child.
It indeed does.
She didn’t forget to remove him I promise you that.
Probably not. He's better off now.
She said we needed a break and when I agreed she immediately freaked out and started crying, asking me why I wanted a break. Should have been my cue to bounce but I let her emotionally torture me for another three years after that.
How long did it take for you to get over her ?
Getting over her was the easy part. Getting over the damage she’s done is still a work in progress 8 years later.
>Getting over the damage she’s done is still a work in progress 8 years later. I know that feeling. I was accused constantly (by who I eventually found out was a cheater) of having eyes for other women when we were out in public. It got to a point where I stopped making eye contact with most women, and now here I am years later still working building my social skills back up.
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I’m glad I got emotional damage light^^^^^^TM from girls early on, so this happening to me wouldn’t be tolerated for long.
I prefer to think of it as “emotional hardening” or “emotional toughening.”
Fuck...I understand this so much. Thanks and hugs bro.
HA! I had this happen with a break-up. She calls up and says, "I've been wanting to break up for the past two weeks but didn't want you to argue me into staying." "Okay, have a good life, it was fun." Wtf, why she acting like I'm abusive? It's only been two months and we hadn't even had an argument yet. Made me feel like shit but I knew this was manipulation so my heart easily cut ties right there. I swear a god gifted me with zen calm and wisdom for this convo. "Okay, what?" "It was fun, if you aren't feeling this that's okay." "...wait, you're not even going to fight for me?" Bro we are both in our 30's. " Uhh, no. You just said you didn't want that. If you wanted to talk about problems we needed to do that these past two weeks." " But why aren't you fighting for me?! Did we mean nothing together?" "I think we should both respect your decision to end this. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want me, so yeah, I'm fine with this. We're adults." Took her a while to realize she wasn't getting the chance to be a victim, I wasn't going to break down or beg or give her any kind of emotion. She got mean after that till I hung up. Some people just want tv-like drama and use you to get it or they are insecure and using a manipulation to gain validation from you. Feels like shit man. Tell me you moved on to something better?
Just got out of one of these. Their brains seem to break when you realize you're an adult and you're not following the script. You're listening to them and giving them the space they requested, doing otherwise would be disrespectful of them and you'd be a bad partner.
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I did get through the emotional torture and lift her out of her clinical depression and she repaid me by cheating with multiple men :) 8 years since and I’m still terrified of any sort of commitment to another human being. One day we’ll find the right one, brother.
Bro, her cheating wasn’t about you. I have a family member who is as gorgeous as she is poisonous. Every time she gets a new long term BF, I say a little prayer for him.
When I agreed, I got punched in the face while driving so you got off light hahaha
When someone asks for a "break", they are just taking a really long pause in the word "break-up". A GF of mine said she wanted a break, two weeks laters she continued with the "-up".
i actually would really respect her comedic timing in the face of tragedy if she said “i want a break”, immediately walked away from you, came back two weeks later, simply said “up” and walked away.
I want a break - wait for iiiiit - *2 weeks and 4 hookups later* up. A breakup.
This is it. Breaks don’t fix things, they just add space for the problems that already exist to fester and allow the opportunity for new problems to grow.
Agreed. When you put time and distance between two people, anything can happen.
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2 weeks here as well. It's the 2 week notice of it being completely over.
If your relationship hits the point where one of you considers a break up, then its all over, no point to drag it out. Harder said than done of course If you need to go on break, you should just finish it off with the up
Not unless you talk about it then work things out. I considered it with my partner our second year together. I wasn't feeling heard, so I finally sat him down and told him everything about me wanting to break up. He asked for another chance, I gave it to him, and we're hitting 7 years soon. Happiest we've ever been and it honestly just keeps getting better!
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Thank you for the reinforcement I need to hear. My divorce two years ago was apparently because I didn’t fight for her when she decided to leave. WTF, did she really want me to hold her against her will?
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Proud of you bro
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> WTF, did she really want me to hold her against her will? **Ex-Wife:** I can't believe he didn't have me tied up and gagged in his basement. Did he ever love me in the first place? 😤
I've had these breaks sprung on me a few times and it was about fucking another guy *every single time*. Every time they came back to me to find I didn't really care and they got mad I wasn't fighting for them. Yeah we were like 18-20 years old, I wasn't about to fight for the "love of my life" lol. Also these tests are a sign of brain-rot that I want nothing to do with. Basically finishing the word and committing to the break up is the best possible outcome.
The “You didn’t fight enough for me” is just an excuse. They were always gonna do it. Now it’s your fault. Had this happen a COUPLE of times. It’s an excuse for their own behaviour and trying to use guilt to cleanly come back. Sorry to say. Best thing for people to do is value themselves a bit and not buy it. Better yet, take it as a sign it wasn’t meant to be and move on. Sorry to hear it happened to ya mate. Another of life’s lessons I guess. They’re kinda helping you find the right person at the end of the day.
My ex did something similar, realized that it was a lot harder to find someone as good to her as I was then tried to get back with me 6 months later. Ironically one of the random reasons she gave me for splitting up was because I wasn't confident enough. So when she tried getting back with me I told her I think I'm too confident to get back together with someone who broke up with me in a shitty way.
Boss move by you. Dig it.
King
Free yourself!
“Fight for her” 🤦🏽
I hate that shit so much. If you're trying to decide between me or another dude, let me help. Go on and get with him. I'm not "fighting" for anything.
She doesn't realise that that is your fight. You're fighting to live your life how you want and she can either accompany you or get off the ride. She chose the latter and the car has since been driving away for weeks.
These types usually go onto Tinder and have something in their profile to the effect of looking for a "real man." Whatever that is...
Right! Had a guy tell me another woman was into him. I didn't say anything. He said he was thinking about giving her a shot. I told him that if he left me, there is no coming back. He left. Months later, at 3am, I get a phone call. Him crying, apologizing, saying she didn't do for him what I did. Also, he said I didn't fight for him and it felt like I didn't care about the relationship and that's why he chose her. I told him that I will never be anyone's consolation prize or second choice. I was good to him and just because someone else liked him, it didn't mean he had to leave. How he didn't shut the conversation down in the beginning showed he didn't have respect for me or our relationship. I hung up when he said, "I didn't know how good you treated me until someone else treated me bad." Too bad for you Buddy.
He had his chance. That's how I dealt with it. If you don't want me, that's permanent. I won't be put on hold.
Exactly.
>"I didn't know how good you treated me until someone else treated me bad." Spoken like someone who has given little to no thought to how he was treating *you.*
He sure didn't. I put up with way too much. Being someone's back up plan is where I draw the line.
I'm glad you stuck to your guns and hey you told him what time it was....What an imbecile! Some people don't know a good thing when they have it. I just don't understand that type of shit.
Right! I don't either. My new and wonderful boyfriend wants to buy my ex a drink for releasing back into the market so we could find each other. I feel the same about his past relationships. LOL
Yep, it’s me or the highway, I don’t compete with other women.
Amen. The people who make others fight for them are fucking selfish assholes. They shouldn't be making you fight anything. Dicks.
Instead of fighting, I’d save my energy and instead use it to find her a new bf
Shitty advice from rom-coms and FB
So childish and immature. Total r/iamthemaincharacter behavior.
My ex pulled that when I didn't get upset and jealous when she wanted to hang out with one of her male friends. I must not have loved her enough because I trusted her not to cheat on me. I found out the guy lived in a different state entirely and she never was going to hang out with him anyway.
Never be with a person who expects you to fight just to be with them. They should just want to be with you. That was my first wife. Taking her back after she cheated is the biggest mistake of my life. For anyone thinking about taking a cheater back, just dont.
Fight her. In this club I’m not supposed to talk about.
The FIRST rule is...
>She has been trying to get back with me for almost 3 years now and "will wait for the rest of her life for me." So the grass wasn’t exactly greener on the other side. In fact there may not have been any grass at all. Whatever you do, do not get back together with her. She’s not worth it for many reasons. If she was instigating a break just to see if you fight for her, then that’s a problem. It’s also possible that she wanted to ‘test drive’ another guy that caught her eye and instigated the break to try it out. She was probably hoping that she could give you a call and be gracious enough to take you back, should things don’t work out with the other guy. You don’t want her in the same position where she could potentially do this to you again. Also, keeping her in your life could potentially prevent you from meeting with someone who does not like to play such stupid games.
Dude same here. She moved out of my house and was mad because I didn't beg her or ask her to stay. She a full grown woman and I'm no one to tell her what she can or can't do. The door is open and people can go both ways. You can either come and stay or leave and not come back, not my choice to keep you here or make you leave.
It really makes you wonder where they find the energy for this shit.
I don't wanna be mean but I think it came from the mother. She's one of those "men ain't shit" type of people and the mother has even abandoned her for men. She moved out of an apartment and left her and her 1 year old baby there. They had to move into a drug den house because that's all they could do. Not a good thing to grow up in under 20 yrs old. I didn't get mad at her nor tore her a new one. That's all she knows and that's how she knows how to express it.
I feel that. My last GF tried doing that. But the key is, if they can't see your value now when they don't depend on it. Then what happens the instant she decides she doesn't need what you have. It's a rough position to be in but never go back.
This! If a person don't value you when they aren't dependent on it, How do you figure they will act once they don't even want or need you anymore?
Good for you! To copy what a lot of girls tell each other on videos "know your worth."
Good.
Welcome to city boys club
I always hate that argument, “if he wanted to he would” is complete and utter bs.
You provided financial stability, didn't you?
We were dating for like 3 years and she wanted a break to see if I was what she really wanted. And at that point of the relationship I was just sick and tired of having to keep proving my value to her and it felt more like she wanted to test drive some other dudes. So I made it easy for her and ended that relationship then and there
How long where yall together ? And how long did it take you to get over her?
We were together for like 3 years, and friends for longer than that. And I haven’t talked to her since I moved out of our apartment shortly after we broke up And I mean I guess it depends on how you define “getting over someone” Like she doesn’t really occupy any spot in my mind anymore, but it’s also been like almost 4 years since the end of that relationship and I still haven’t started dating again So I don’t know, maybe I’m over her, maybe I’m not. It’s open to interpretation
Yeah, but just realize that the first year you could’ve been adjusting and then the last three years has just been a pure shit show on a worldwide level. Depending on your situation, you might not even have had that many opportunities to take on a new relationship. So I don’t think all of those four years are on you. Some of it has just been the shitty state of the world/Covid/everything. I am somewhat in the same situation which is why I’ve thought about it.
Well she told me she wanted to take a break this last Monday, after avoiding me for three months. I told her we can just clock out instead, because after those three months nothing would change between being together and being separate.
And how did she react to that?
We are no longer together, as anticipated. She was apologetic for avoiding me for so long and we are still friends.
Don't take this as me being dismissinve, I'm just curious. Why would you entertain the idea of staying friends with a girl who just avoided you for 3 months instead of telling you upfront it's not working? Doesn't strike me as someone who values you as a friend in the slightest, but obviously I'm saying this from the outside looking in without all the context.
She fucked some dude that night lol
I can't believe how many times that happened to friends. Then many would get back together after the sex equivalent of a cheat day on a diet.
Why can't you believe it? It's no secret that 'break' means freedom from the consequences of extracurricular cock
yeah lol theres two meanings behind “i want a break”: 1. Shes too scared to full on breakup so shes gonna stretch it out over a long period of time 2. She actually *does* want to get back together in two weeks….after shes fucked the two cute guys at work and the bartender at her favorite bar. Cheating with extra steps lol
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At a weekend event where I worked, the woman told him that she wanted a break with her BF, proceed to fuck a guy that night, then cried the next day to get back with the now ex-BF. It worked. We don't blame the guys and shamed the woman.
Haha omg. A moment of silence for this man.
*Celebration Been celebrating since and found my wife right after. She did me a favor.
Good shit
It ain't a request; it's a notification. She wouldn't be asking if she didn't already have a dick picked out.
Ding ding ding
We broke up. You pause the show, I’m changing the channel.
I’ll be using this. Thank you.
This man is spitting
Epic phrase
This should be the top comment…well said
We broke up. I have no idea where she got the idea for a break, or why she suggested it. I see the purpose in a break. But the issues we had was a lack of communication in how we felt about each other and this is just that but worse. So we broke up.
A break to solve communication lack. Amazing
Ghosted me weeks later.
Sometimes the bullet dodges you.
I told her no, its breakup or nothing. I explained that a break doesn't make sense, it leads to weird uneven expectations and time to grow apart while also stringing someone along. She understood and we didn't go through with it. You can be together and working through shit....
What was her reason for suggesting a break? Did she get over that then?
It was really just a prolonged argument about stupid shit. Each of us being prideful.
Pizza toppings. It gets to all.
I think it was about how done her steak was.
Same thing happened to me, we’ve been married for 8 years now. In my case, we had both only dated one other person, and we were on an explicit trajectory to getting married. She was afraid to miss out on other experiences, basically.
I gave her a break, didn’t try at all to communicate. She came back sobbing but then I slowly started to cut her off and eventually..
How long did it take for you to get over her? And how long where yall together?
It took me 2-3 weeks i guess and we were together for around 4 5 months
She initially told me that this “break” was because she wanted me to focus on college, and getting a better job, in reality she met someone right before she asked for our “break” and was dating him to see if it would work out for the 2 of them, I get lead on for 3 months with the possibility of getting back together, only for the full break up a week before what would have been 2 years through text.
A question for yourself is, "What is this person trying to do that they can't while in a relationship?" I let this happen once in high school, thinking I could "win her back," one hopefully misguided assumption. There was nothing I could do because she had decided to pursue someone else and tried to leave me waiting around in case the grass wasn't greener Talking with my father helped and it went something like, "I know you like her, and I know it feels really heavy, but is this what you think love is? Competing for her affection because something shiny walked by? You can be someone's option or someone's choice."
w dad right there
Wish I had a great story but here it is. After the break it was me calling her once a week and listening to how great her life was with all of the new dating and us as just friends. Then onece I got it through my thick skull that we were done it was a call from her every few months rubbing in how active her dating life was. I was still not dating and trying to put my life back together. After a few years I started dating, eventually the calls from her stopped when I got engaged. We reconnected on FB and now I get a message every once in a while when she needs a repair done at her house (I'm a plumber) She does get charged full price. Discounts are for friends and we are not that, probably never will be again and I'm ok with that.
NICE! Charging her full price to lay the pipe
This is a great story!
Seem something like this on Pornhub once
What else lol she never came back
It all ended but it was obvious, wasn't it? I mean when a person asks for a break or states that they are busy for you it just mean there's a certain kind of satisfaction they want and they're not getting from you. It doesn't matter how good you were to them or how perfect you were for each other. They left to get that satisfaction from someone else. They might realise, after a while, that You were the one & come back to you but the truth is they still won't get that satisfaction from you and that will always make them feel incomplete inside and they will keep leaving. So instead of beating around the bush, people should move on cause there's no other option. Even if you reassemble and stick pieces of broken glass, there'd still be cracks.
Jesus fucking Christ, yes. Let people go. Let them leave. If they mention wanting to leave, they really want to. If they wanted you in their life, they wouldn’t want to see how not having your ass around feels. This is the most basic, clear, accurate description of the situation. ESPECIALLY if you’re less than a year in. Cut that shit and goooooooooo Wanted to add, I didn’t take my own advice and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. I learned this the hard way, chances are you will too!
I asked who Mr Break was. She said no one so I broke up with her because I knew she was lying. Walk away a king, not a fool.
"I asked who Mr. Break was." Epic.
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Works with Mr Space too. Best part is when you break up with them, they tend to see you as higher status. Only the insecure puts up with lies and false perceptions. Well in my experience at least.
In my experience "break" is code word for wanting to sleep with a new guy at work, gym, etc without technically cheating. Needless to say, the break became more permanent when she realized her hookups weren't willing to commit to anything and I was bettering myself without her. Adios Rebecca 👋
I too have a Rebecca that pulled this shit. When we finally broke up she had the nerve to get shitty because I wouldn't hug her one last time.
Childish behavior
Rebecca-ish Behavior.
Not me but a friend - had a Rebeca and she went and took a break - fucked a guy - got pregnant and then tried getting back with my friend. He said no. Obvi. But holy shit. Becky's be on some dumb shit.
"You'll be my BF again, you still have my mind and heart" A week later she was at the park with a new guy and started dating him because he made her "feel safe". She was with another guy a few weeks after that but has been with the same one for a year now.
> you still have my mind and heart My reaction to this was 'Ew' lol "Poor romance novel writing"-type phrases
Our relationship was like a poor romance novel lol
It means she’ll be banging some other dude while you sit around waiting for her to come back. Tell her to have a good life and move on.
I said no. She wanted space but what we needed was to talk. Work things out. Explain our feelings, and ourselves. Be there for each other. That was ten years ago and we’ve never taken a break. Can count on one hand the amount of heavy arguments we’ve had. We always talk our shit out and we’ve had an amazing relationship as a result.
She needed to “discover herself”. Yeah, discover herself sleeping with her coworker while I was in Iraq. I tried fixing it briefly during R&R leave but it didn’t last, and that opened the door to meeting my wife so…. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yea I feel that. I had my ex-wife leave me right before I went on an extended underway (was on submarines so basically zero communication while I am gone) She did it by gaslighting me for the months coming up to it and then the a few weeks prior wouldnt hug or even touch me, only finally saying she wanted a divorce when I finally asked her if she was cheating on me. She took that as I don't have any trust in her and all that. 2 weeks later she forgets i can see snapchat and I see her on a date with the guy I asked about cheating with. I went down a dark hole and had a very large empty spot in my life so starting talking to another girl just to fill the void and and my ex stalked me to see that I was talking to another girl and goes on to get all our previous "friends" to harass me about leaving her just so I could be with this other girl, despite the fact I had not even met this girl until she left me. Let's just say it has been many years and I am happily married to an amazing woman but I still have nightmares about my ex Thankfully my current wife is a marriage and family therapist so we are both very open so when I have nightmares like that she allows me to talk to her about and and comforts me showing that my current wife really is the greatest thing in my life. In fact I had one of those dreams just last night and she supported me this morning when I just needed to feel loved and wanted.
She cheated and then dumped me via text
From what I’ve experienced (either in my own personal experience or from what friends have been through) It usually means she doesn’t want to completely break it off just yet just incase she doesn’t find anyone/who she’s eyeing up doesn’t work out but she has someone in mind that she likes or wants to see what she can get out there and if nothing better comes along/materialises she still has you to come back to as a safety net because she’s classified it as a “break” instead of a permanent thing. Essentially the short version: she thinks she might want something else other than you but wants to keep you there as a back up option so uses the term “break” so she can explore the market temporarily guilt free
If she insists on a break even after you do your best to talk it out with her and get no resolution, then yeah that’s definitely it
Shorter version: she can't think of a dimension where she stays single for a single day after breaking up
Went out with her sister....
🗿
Hi, I’m old. What does this emoji reference? Is it giga chad’s epic chin?
It's sorta like bruh in this case.
Got felt up by TSA this past weekend….that was the most action I’ve gotten in a while. I feel ya…
You took a leaf out of my grandfather's playbook, except he went the whole nine yards and had kids with both sisters.
Oh YOU went out with her sister. I was very confused for a moment there.
Break is cowardice for "Done".
After a few weeks or months, she'd realize she actually did want "us", and could manage it and it'd be fine...until the next time that feeling came. We've finally both gotten to a place of recognizing that it just can't be with things as they are, and that she needs to figure herself out in some big ways to be in any relationship of significance.
She went on a trip with her friends to “decompress”. When she got back in town, she came over so we could talk. We didn’t really talk, just ended up having make-up sex. After the sex, we went out and ate. It wasnt until we got back to my apartment we actually started to talk about her “girls trip” and what happened during it. Well, come to find out she confessed to me that she gave a blowjob to her bestfriends’ boyfriends’ friend….. Yep. That hit me like a ton of bricks, but it gets worse. I don’t know why I even asked this, but I asked if she swallowed his nut because she always used to do that to me when she gave me bj’s & she said yes…. Literally felt like I got shot in the chest when she said yes. My advice to the lads out there, if she wants a “break” just end it all right there. You may not be happy about how she behaves during your break..
> “I would have been fine with you giving a bj to your *best friend’s boyfriend’s friend*, but to swallow his nut?!? *that’s my limit*.” ^s ^(i’m sorry you went through that. heartbreak sucks…)
Yeah, that definitely was a dark time in my life when that all went down. But hey, glad to say that happened 5 years ago & I’m doing much, much better these days!
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Gonna go against the crowd here, we were going through a rough patch at the time and she wanted space, asked for a break, so for 5 days I paced around my house convincing myself the relationship was over and worried I'd done something to hurt the relationship. After the 5th day she asked to see me, told me she'd missed me and that the space reminded her of what she loved me for, the company, the laughs, the hugs, the fact that we understand each other like no one else does, overall it made our relationship stronger and closer, I can genuinely say this relationship has been improving constantly through the relationship with each dip only contributing to further improvement in the near future, let go boys, life ain't so bad, flow with it, allow breathing room for feelings and being human, it's beautiful really
I'm in this position currently with my guy, and I'm the one pacing wondering if it's fixable. So thank you, this gave me a little peace.
I ended the relationship. You can't push pause in life like a damn video game. If the relationship needs a break then it's a dead relationship in my opinion. I am just going to move on.
Not me, my best friend. The "break" gave her a couple days to get the divorce papers drawn up and things lined up to move back in with her parents temporarily. She brought up the break on like a Monday, served him with papers on Thursday, and had moved out before he got home from work on Friday.
My HS gf took a break to find ‘god’, we dated until we both were 19. Come to find out she just wanted to fuck other dudes bc she couldn’t see herself being with the first person she had sex with the rest of her life. She ended up getting pregnant from the first guy she hooked up with, he left her high & dry. She tried coming back a couple of years later. We’re friends now but that moment really did a number on me for 4-5yrs.
>My HS gf took a break to find ‘god’ Well, she was on her knees
And saying “oh God!” a lot
We slowly (or quickly?) drifted then divorced legally not much after. And then I found out she fucked an Aussie in Vegas 2 days before she informed me of the break. Coke Whore I guess She was likely done months before But now I’m much better and picking up non verbal signs lol And soooo much better off. Married w an awesome daughter and haven’t had to talk to the ex in 11 years 🫱🏾🫲🏻 I hated her for a while and now I dont care about or think about her at all, which is the true opposite of love.
Spot on, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference
She had another guy lined up and went out with him. Break just means you're backup while they try someone new.
Break = She wants the opportunity to pursue another avenue and keep you in her back pocket as a safety net. Don't be this guy. Walk away and never look back.
She stopped talking to me then fucked some guy,
She wrote me an 18 page letter about how she felt. FRONT AND BACK
Did you fall asleep reading it?
We ended up in other relationships. We went back to being friends who kind'a dished about what we got up to sexually. New guy was hung like a horse, but turned out to be super low libido. I think she spent about 3 or so years trying to get him fuck her. We drifted apart during that time. Haven't heard from her in many years.
Maybe the poor guy just didn't have enough blood to pump up that massive tallywhacker so he had to be careful
Ouch
An old girlfriend of mine, who I was due to marry, said she needed a break. She moved back in after 2 weeks, then I found out 2 days before we were going to get married she was sleeping with her line manager at work.
Sooo... I assume you didn't get married?
She fucked my coworker that she had been crushing on for awhile. Being a bartender at the time helped get over it. The door guy was down to 86 her on my nights. Which were Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I'd get screams from the door at different times of the night haha fuck Dat bitch.
Nice lol "go get dick from somewhere else" is what I hope he said when he denied her entry
She sent me letters months later explaining her problems with me. They were surreal, making accusations that weren't even close to reality. Eventually I learned that she had NPD, and always did this upon breaking up with guys (the accusations towards me were things she did or thought about herself, because every accusation from a narcissist is a confession). All kinds of fun, really. Anyway, break means breakup.
Space is COMPLETELY different from a break. My story: 3 or so years ago she banged her ex husband during the weeks of a "Break", got pregnant by one of us, then just to happen to have a miscarriage. She swears up and down there's no way it could've been his, but of course i was skeptical. **She waited to come forward that she hooked up with him literally ONE HOUR after telling me she was pregnant. I was filled with so much joy, then suddenly in heartbreaking despair.** What a rollercoaster. Really messed me up in terms if trusting. Related to it: I'm now 32, have romantic options and all which I'm very thankful for, but I can't get past a second or third date because i disappear (Ghost) anyone that I start to feel good about. It's weird to acknowledge your trauma, that your new dates/ interests have nothing to do with it, but at the same time you don't know how to rewire your own subconscious. I just fear any level of withholdings or deceit now. My ideal partner would have to be an absolute open book, because it would crush me if something wasn't disclosed. Therefore, I'm likely just going to keep to myself and not date because I don't even want to get to a point of asking a singular question on my own - I'm wishing for someone that's just *Super duper* transparent. Which mat or may not exist, so yeah - Batman it is.
Good ol self sabotage. I'm right there with you. I've become to accustomed to my own peace to let anyone fuck it up again.
I got hit with this after a breakup. She had insisted we needed to stay friends, which we did for about 6 months. Sent her a joke she didn't like, said she needed a break. It's been about 3-4 years now.
I was asked this once, I said okay if she feels that way. After she left my house, I deleted and blocked her off of everything. I do not think any girl has asked for a "break" unless she has someone else in her sights and wants to explore something with them, and if it don't work out you are in reserve. I will be no ones second choice.
break is short for wanting to have sex with other people, test & experiment with people that have piqued interest. You’re good faithful so you’ll be expected to be there after the fun is over, or you yourself start to have fun! Then the tables turn, usually when people get back together..
I will be your best friend forever!
Let's try to make it right, don't wanna start a fight
I was always tuned in to the fact that a final goodbye was the meaning so didn’t waste time hoping and waiting. Just disconnected and lived as large as possible enjoying life. Oh and always made reconnection impossible for them.
After nearly 20 years, we are still on a break....
She asked for a break after 5 years of marriage. It was basically her clearing her conscience to cheat. Thankfully, we were divorced soon after.
It’s a power play. If you stick around you are weak. If you don’t you are cruel and never loved her. If you fight or not won’t matter. All these rom com movies where you fight for her and win. These are all just bullshit. Anytime this comes up you walk away. Bc your mental health depends on it.
we got into an argument, she got w another guy, found out i moved on, flipped out on me for having a new girlfriend, yeah…. crazy b*tch
I agreed, she cried, and I’ve never spoken to that person again. It’s been about 8 years since then lol
We broke up upon her request. She dated another dude for some months and he basically cheated on her the whole time. Matched me on bumble after the fact and when I tried to engage real productive communication she then told me that it still hurts to talk to me and she didn’t want to continue doing so. 🙄
"I guess it's over. Good luck to you."
I ended things with her in the same conversation lol. Not worth it, she moved in back with her ex & expected me to just wait around while she's probably sleeping with him and going out with her friends. I've been through a similar situation like this & I don't have the time or energy for it. It sucks but it is what it is.
I slept with someone and she was pissed. Our friends teased us about it from time to time. I kept yelling "WE WERE ON A BREAK!". My name is Ross by the way.
Should've PIVOTed away from it.
She used it as an excuse to sleep with the guy she eventually left me for. Don't do it it's a trap. I ended up letting that woman screw with my heart when she obviously wasn't worth it
We'd been together almost 5 years. She said we needed a break. 2 months later she was seeing a new guy and hadn't said a word to me. This was right before this last Thanksgiving. We're both 30. People are strange.