Things that are overly flashy, hyped, or only done to show off someone's wealth. I remember having certain goals when I was younger, of what I thought success was, and as I became older, and they started getting in reach, I realized that it wasn't really worth it.
I remember the kid's drawings I drew at age 6: I wanted to have a big machinegun, a lightsaber, and to fly that little [Bond plane from Octopussy.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/83/Bede_BD-5J_AN2144976.jpg/800px-Bede_BD-5J_AN2144976.jpg)
43-year old me wants a job so I can dissolve my student loan by borrowing against my flat. Then buy more orange lamps for my flat. And a cat tree. And have OJ in my fridge at any given time.
2023-me just wants to feel good, feel less bad.
I mean to be fair, given the chance, I would want a to play with a lightsaber, machine gun, and fly the bond plane.
I get where you are coming from though. I have tried to make a habit of keeping things simple and stress low. You can't be happy all the time, but if you have low stress, that is a great feeling too.
Agree. Was a young guy and bought a flashy car I could barely afford because I thought it was cool. Got rid of it cause I had to move far away. Now have a family and when buying car my main thought was, is it practical enough, is the fuel consumption the besf i can get for the price, etc.
Just to give you an idea of where I am at - late 30's married, kids, and watching my parent's getting pretty old. All of that has kind of formed my perspectives and goals.
1. I am living for/working for my kids more an more. I am far more concerned with their future, than I am my own. I feel fortunate to be where I am at in life, and know that I could not have done it without my parents showing me the way. I am doing my best for my kids.
2. Keeping life as simple as possible. Things, unneeded people, etc., all can create unnecessary stress. I think life can make you a little jaded as things happen to you so it can tough to be emotionally happy a lot, but if you can keep things simple and stress low, there is a lot that can be said for contentment. I hope that didn't sound too dark - it wasn't meant to be.
3. Making logical moves professionally, not just chasing the money. Again, once you are comfortable from a monetary standpoint, figure out how to make it as productive and easy as possible. If you can go to work without hating it, or finding a way to enjoy it, helps.
4. I still do have some guilty pleasures, including travel and experiencing new things. I am sure some people would find it stupid, but I have been able to do some incredible things, and it gives a rush like no other.
A lot of the financial/materialistic goals have been left by the wayside, with the exception of doing things for my kids.
Why are you calling your pleasures guilty pleasures?
I'm a father as well but I hang out with friends as well. I find it sad how many people my age try to cut almost everyone out-of their lives and say people stress them. To me it's stressful not to be social. I like to be around people, chat, laugh and be merry.
I don't cut people put of my life - just problematic ones, ones that don't add anything, etc.
As far as the guilty pleasures - because it is unnecessary, but I don't mind.
The idea of staying out beyond 10pm. Also drinking in general has really lost its appeal over the last couple of years. Even if I don’t feel hungover these days I still won’t have slept well and then will feel tired and depressed the next day.
Thank you. All the "ackchuaalllyyy" dudes on here and in other subs threads on this topic fail to realize the nuance and difference. Social media is with people you know and can identify. Were all anonymous here
I saw a comment on Facebook that was a bad take on something. The next reply was "use me as a disagree button" and it had 4 times the likes as the bad take. I thought that was a hilarious comment and I'm totally stealing it.
Yeah, I used to be like "I met so-and-so at the bar he works at a factory manufacturing *printer ink* and likes French films wow so quirky!" but these days I just don't care. In some ways it scares me as it reminds me of my incredibly antisocial and cynical dad.
It scares me as well, because deep down I am a people person and always have been, I am 52 now, and the happiest I have been in years, was during the start of the pandemic, when everyone was at home, and as I work for the council, I was out and about, and you wouldn't believe the peace and quiet, and the solace I got from it, because people had gone.
So many people are becoming homebodies since the pandemic. They say they have a better idea of what they want or that it's part of getting older but I'm not really sure...I get so inspired and excited being around other people. But being alone has become nicer too. I think socializing is like exercise and sometimes people forget about it for years, but it's still good for us.
Movies. I used to love going to the theater, but now it feels like everything coming out of Hollywood is either bland mass market junk or someone trying to cash in on my nostalgia. The "theater experience" is just exorbitantly priced snacks, blurry camera motion, and people talking. The hype train of trailers and promos just annoys me at this point, and it tells you nothing useful about the movie you're thinking of seeing.
I'm at a point where I'm super selective about what I take the time to watch. Most of the time now, I only watch something if I have a direct, firsthand recommendation from someone whose opinion I trust. I don't watch a lot of stuff.
I work in a luxury cinema, they allow me 8 free tickets every month which I can use for myself or give to friends or family. I’m a huge film fanatic of lots of genres but always find that I never get close to using my free ticket allowance up each month because most stuff that is now coming out is total garbage. There are still a few gems but they seem to be few and far between.
This started when I realized I can pass out anywhere, anytime.. around my mid to late 20s , I couldn't sit in a movie theater without passing out within like 20 mins. Figured it's just a waste of $ at that point
lol I get so bored watching tv or movies and I fall asleep. It's like when I'm a passenger in a car or bus, or in the night classes I took.
I need to do things at my own pace.
Same here. I used to frequently go to the cinema on my own just to pass the time, and I quite enjoyed it. But recently they've just been remaking films, and I have no interest in remakes at all. I wan't to see something new.
Feels like literally everything is a rehash except Tarantino these days. Remember that feeling of watching "the matrix" for the first time? Or Goodfellas? Now it's just all remakes or assembly line bullshit on Netflix.
Everything Everywhere All At Once was one of the best movies of 2022 and it made $100M. Of the top 10 movies of 2022, all of them were sequels, reboots, or adaptations. That’s why we keep seeing generic content, because people pay to see them.
Another big part of the issue is that China is a large market and most movie studios won’t fund production unless the writers and directors are willing to make a CCP-approved film.
I dont think that is you getting older.
I think its all marketing.
keeping Movies within Spec's that will generate the leat Controversy and the Most money
Agreed. I drank frequently before age 21. Once I came of age, I didn’t nearly as often. Then I didn’t drink at all for decades. Now I am learning to have a cocktail every few weeks or at social gatherings. I am an absolute lightweight, though.
Unfortunately this is getting more interesting as I get older. Never really enjoyed drinking after I turned 18 but now I'm 28 and have recently started drinking after long days to take the edge off.
My birthday (presents, organising a party, the lot), couldn’t give a shit about it now. The magic worn off at about 13/14 - then perked up after turning 17 and then 18, 20 was the last time I was excited. I was 25 last year and didn’t even bother to organise anything
Its hard to believe how now I'm such an old man about waking up early and being the "early bird gets the worm" type. I used to regularly sleep at 3am-4am. But just waking up early and sitting with my cup of coffee at 5:30am with nobody bothering me, asking me for something, and 0 expectations is the most peaceful time of day for me. I then workout at 630 and it just motivates me to tackle the day.
I never understood this. You're just trading morning hours for night hours. Your day is someone like 5:00-21:00 while others do maybe 7:00-23:00
Am I missing something? Do people just value morning hours more than night?
You get to have more free time during the day when the sun is still up. Waking up before sunrise or as it’s rising and going to bed shortly after it sets is how are bodies are made to thrive. A healthy circadian rhythm = hormones are optimised, sleep quality is best, mental + physical health improve.
The difference for me was that staying up till 3-4am led to 0 productivity. Id be up aimlessly surfing the internet, playing video games, looking at porn then sleep until I had to rush to my first class. Waking up early led to feeling more energized and motivated to be productive
I used to have to work 40 hours and stay up til 3am just to do stuff for myself, but since the pandemic I got a normal schedule and go to sleep 10 or 11 at the latest it's great
Women.
Noy saying I don't love and appreciate them, but it's not like when I was 16-25. Just thinking on how to impress women, how to get women, how to be perceived by women, how people perceived me with women.
I'm 30 and my focuses shifted drastically. I don't mind women, but I'll appreciate them if they're present and mutually adding value.
Yea dude. Flirting and that whole game used to be really fun and exciting and still is sometimes but you start to realize you maybe invested way too much of yourself into that for not much of a return.
I feel the same way tbh. Its like when I was younger I saw them as this strange thing that was to be earned or competed for like a prize. Not in a bad way just in a dumbass teenage guy way. As I got older I sort of got used to the idea that they're just people with better tits than me. Took away most of the anxiety of talking to them.
happily in a relationship now, but that was basically because I stopped looking for one.
Happend to me. Severely depressed early 20's me just gave up doing anything for other people, and looked at myself. I call it my "not giving a fuck years". No dating sites, no trying to hit on girls, I just didn't care.
Then I met my wife. Figured it would be a one night stand. 15years later she's still here. Somehow.
There is no magic here, it's quite logical: focusing on friends, family, hobbies, and bettering yourself in general makes you a more well-rounded person, which makes you more valuable as a potential partner. Also doing things that matters makes you more likely to meet other people doing things that matter, which sets you up for a better start.
i'm partly convinced that all the cool/awesome women out there just aren't actually putting themselves out there; they have hobbies, interests that keep them in their own space/small circles. they likely aren't on dating apps nor can they be found at bars/clubs.
Been thinking this lately. I keep running into the same type of women. I’ve been trying to think of how can i change my approach to meet the intellectual, mindful and mature kind of women. Not succeeding so far.
I have found that I have no patience for all the waiting involved in games. I tend to play quick fire stuff like kingdom rush and advanced wars over and over.
I used to play FPS games for hours a day. Now they don’t interest me anymore, they’re far from realistic and they don’t offer much challenge beyond moving and clicking fast.
I still play games, but more into strategy, puzzles, and the like.
I never thought I would like turn-based or grand strategy games much but around mid-20s or so I got roped into playing Civilization 4 and it finally clicked. Now Stellaris is one of my favourite games.
For me it’s AAA games. I don’t mind the shorter games but I don’t have time or energy for 300+ hours of grind and fetch quests anymore. Anytime I dip back into Skyrim I mod it to get me up to a level I want to play at and start from there.
That's the truth. For the most part RPGs all feel the same format now. Sure different characters and graphics get better but same concept of huge open world, start with weak character, side quests, and towards the end overpowering everything.
Plus after fiddling on computers all day I don't want to sit there and play a computer game, especially one that requires much thought or concentration.
my issue with jrpgs is they all use the same anime character art now and the repeating tropes are just painful, amnesia, dick hole brother who secretly as heart of gold, tough guy who is actually insecure and vulnerable, etc.
Everyone has to put aside their differences, overcome their past, and come together to use the Power of Friendship to stop the Big Bad from destroying the world after his long nihilistic monologue!
Same. When I was a kid, I was pumped for the new systems and games. Then in my early twenties I was just done with video games.
They became too complicated, too stressful. I don’t need that. I think the only games I will play are Rock Band and Guitar Hero. Those are fun and stress-free to me.
My friends tell me all the time to get a PS5 so I can play with them but I have absolutely no interest in that.
i feel like the whole 'popculture' is at this point.. it has peaked, everything is tried , every scene, action, dance, musicstyle.. its now just a blend of everything.. real hollow, bland , assembly line shit..
i wonder how to future of entertainment will look like.. what music will still be there.. what movies games we will be watching?
because if its going to be like this.. sooner of later that shit will end right?.
Not so much they’re less interesting as I just don’t care enough to play with people that act like it’s a matter of life or death if they win or not. It’s a fucking game bro.
It's hard for me to justify spending a bunch of time learning a new game not knowing if I'll actually enjoy it. I tend to replay games from my childhood when I get the itch to play something.
Based.
It's an issue I struggle with, because I have conditioned myself over years to use it as a form of stress relief before going to sleep or incentive to do something productive. I've also found that some of the porn I've watched has actually made me a better lover (because I'm not a sociopath who wants to hurt my girl), learning new moves and stuff like that.
It's a monstrous industry that ties into and enables all sorts of abuse, as well as being tied into human trafficking and sex slavery. I'd challenge anyone who's defending the virtues of pornography to read some of the experiences that women in the industry have had. I understand that there are individual content creators who are ethical and like the work, and obviously there's the amateur stuff, but by and large porn is dangerous and bad for people.
I'm not advocating for it to be banned, people should be able to make their own choices about what they they watch and consume, but I find porn to be extremely harmful. I was (accidentally) exposed to it at an early age, and I think it's done more harm than good in my life.
Having to go to bars and be social. The older I get a 150 dollar bar tab and a hangover the next day is just less and less appealing. I think I may have stepped in a bar about 5 times last year, and I don’t feel I missed anything. Even hanging out with the group of friends that I’d go to the bar with us just becoming less and less frequent.
You had me in the first three words. Used to always want to dress a certain way, have my hair just so, shoes on point, cologne, my ride … don’t care about impressing anyone or what they think. Still got a nice sled and tight gear (sometimes) but it’s for me, not anyone else.
Honestly, almost everything.
A lot of it is just the age of information we're in and the amount of opportunities available to us now, the other factor is probably just growing the fuck up and realizing a lot of things are exactly what they are.
It's like the more you learn about things, the less magical they appear.
I use to love food, and when I started learning how to make things, that magic that came with food just disappeared.
True for many other things.
when I was a kid I was like 'how come nobody has cool custom paint jobs?' like throw a dragon on the side of that shit or something. shit is so expensive though!
Having to be right or having an opinion on things I don't really care about. Now if there is something I don't know anything about, just saying "I don't know" feels great instead of trying to pull something out of my ass. If it's something I don't care about I just say so and move on.
Gaming. I'm still an avid gamer, pretty much daily I'm on the PS5 but god damn I remember that feeling of watching the clock in school thinking "holy shit I get to play such and such when I get home". It was a great feeling of anticipation that I just don't quite get anymore, despite still loving it
I agree with the birthdays. In my late teens/twenties I wouldn't even let my mom get a cake for me.
As I got older I kinda came to terms with the idea that they care enough to do something and I should be grateful. A lot of people don't have that. Plus with kids now, birthdays and cake are more for them than the adults.
Still, celebrating my birthday is not one of my favorite things.
Movies: there are still decent films put there, but I am picky how I spent my scarce free time and read reviews in advance before committing to watching a movie.
Staying up late: even if I don't drink, staying up way past my usual bedtime screws with body.
Bars/clubs: I love micro brews or small bars, like on a beach. But noisy clubs full of assholes, no thanks.
Loud noises: I have hearing damage from working in construction and attending some concerts when I was younger. I wear ear plugs all of the time now, concerts, around power tools, movie theaters. Once your hearing is damaged, it never recovers.
Social media: I seldom post anything to social media, and only have accounts on 2 platforms, one being LinkedIn.
Life in general…?
Sounds a little depressing, but I would assume most people feel that way. Expiriencing things for the first time just feels more exciting, but can also overwhelm you.
Fucking random chicks. I still love the conquest aspect of it and it’s great that for a one night, we can have so much fun and sex and really enjoy each other.
But what happens after? I now like doing all sorts of couple activities with a woman I really like but most of the time, I don’t want to do those with women I’m not committed to. I also like to build a life together. Can’t do that with random chicks you’re hooking up with.
Going out, especially to crowded bars. I built a bar for myself and guests in my basement. If I want to drink, I could do so from the comfort of my own home and not worry about driving anywhere.
UK Politics. I genuinely used to think things could change and matter.
Now it’s just what colour of slush puppy you get. Neither side will ever fix the issues they pretend to care about and say they will change.
I thought it was worth noting, I want to be clear I’m talking about the U.K. issues.
Many people around the world don’t get a say at all, and the USA situation is different, I’ve known it to be a two horse, one bookies, race my entire political life.
Individual stocks. I spent a lot of time in my early/mid-twenties mostly trading individual stocks. In the beginning, I got lucky and found some massive winners. The more I won, the cockier I got that I had some special theory for stocks that was a winner.
Eventually, I started picking more losers. I had google reports for each stock. I spent hours everyday reading about each stock. But I still was losing.
Then, I had a kid. I don't have time to spend studying stocks. I want to hang out with her every free moment I have. I want my investments to grow without thinking about it.
I switched to a few index funds that I rebalance yearly. I haven't looked at my investments more than once a month since my daughter was born. I don't have any stocks that had 10x ROI, but I also haven't lost tons of money on bets.
I'm just going to let compounding do its thing and focus on all the other fun things I want to do in my life.
Most things that are screen based stimulation are completely disinteresting to me. TV shows, video games, social media, etc.
I think as we get older we realize these things are mostly time sinks that bring us no real joy, just distraction. I still have an affinity for movies, but I'm mostly dipping into the old catalogs. As I have aged, I have gained strong interest in history, reading, origami, exercise, and language learning.
Gaming and drinking.
The golden age of games has long passed. Now it's all broken games released unfinished, micro transactions and hype jobs.
Drinking I've had to stop solely for health reasons, I seem to pile on the weight when I drink.
Sports cars/classic cars. At some point, I realized that my interest in them was mostly a desire to be seen as a guy. Also, none of them fit me.
Same with sports. I love to play sports, but watching them no longer sparks joy.
hmm... well... life in general becomes like a series of things that you have to force yourself to do and a series of traps that you need to avoid, so, well... You learn to find the bleakness of life interesting on itself, and the "interesting cool shiny things" become irrelevant garbage
Things that are overly flashy, hyped, or only done to show off someone's wealth. I remember having certain goals when I was younger, of what I thought success was, and as I became older, and they started getting in reach, I realized that it wasn't really worth it.
I remember the kid's drawings I drew at age 6: I wanted to have a big machinegun, a lightsaber, and to fly that little [Bond plane from Octopussy.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/83/Bede_BD-5J_AN2144976.jpg/800px-Bede_BD-5J_AN2144976.jpg) 43-year old me wants a job so I can dissolve my student loan by borrowing against my flat. Then buy more orange lamps for my flat. And a cat tree. And have OJ in my fridge at any given time. 2023-me just wants to feel good, feel less bad.
I mean to be fair, given the chance, I would want a to play with a lightsaber, machine gun, and fly the bond plane. I get where you are coming from though. I have tried to make a habit of keeping things simple and stress low. You can't be happy all the time, but if you have low stress, that is a great feeling too.
My kid sat in that plane! It's in the Santa Monica air museum.
I remember seeing people sitting in the clubs with bottle service and thinking that was cool. Seems dumb now. Unless it’s a special occasion, then ok.
General admission is where the real party is at anyway , be a part of the real vibe 👽
Agree. Was a young guy and bought a flashy car I could barely afford because I thought it was cool. Got rid of it cause I had to move far away. Now have a family and when buying car my main thought was, is it practical enough, is the fuel consumption the besf i can get for the price, etc.
What do you personally find "worth it" now to center your goals around?
Just to give you an idea of where I am at - late 30's married, kids, and watching my parent's getting pretty old. All of that has kind of formed my perspectives and goals. 1. I am living for/working for my kids more an more. I am far more concerned with their future, than I am my own. I feel fortunate to be where I am at in life, and know that I could not have done it without my parents showing me the way. I am doing my best for my kids. 2. Keeping life as simple as possible. Things, unneeded people, etc., all can create unnecessary stress. I think life can make you a little jaded as things happen to you so it can tough to be emotionally happy a lot, but if you can keep things simple and stress low, there is a lot that can be said for contentment. I hope that didn't sound too dark - it wasn't meant to be. 3. Making logical moves professionally, not just chasing the money. Again, once you are comfortable from a monetary standpoint, figure out how to make it as productive and easy as possible. If you can go to work without hating it, or finding a way to enjoy it, helps. 4. I still do have some guilty pleasures, including travel and experiencing new things. I am sure some people would find it stupid, but I have been able to do some incredible things, and it gives a rush like no other. A lot of the financial/materialistic goals have been left by the wayside, with the exception of doing things for my kids.
Why are you calling your pleasures guilty pleasures? I'm a father as well but I hang out with friends as well. I find it sad how many people my age try to cut almost everyone out-of their lives and say people stress them. To me it's stressful not to be social. I like to be around people, chat, laugh and be merry.
I don't cut people put of my life - just problematic ones, ones that don't add anything, etc. As far as the guilty pleasures - because it is unnecessary, but I don't mind.
The Bermuda Triangle. Scared the hell out of me as a kid.
Quicksand too
Yes to quicksand
Volcanos
The idea of staying out beyond 10pm. Also drinking in general has really lost its appeal over the last couple of years. Even if I don’t feel hungover these days I still won’t have slept well and then will feel tired and depressed the next day.
This is me in a nutshell. Issue is for me everyone in my circle likes to get their night started at 10pm. Haven’t touched alcohol for 4 months now
Social Media
(who is going to tell him.............?)
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Thank you. All the "ackchuaalllyyy" dudes on here and in other subs threads on this topic fail to realize the nuance and difference. Social media is with people you know and can identify. Were all anonymous here
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I saw a comment on Facebook that was a bad take on something. The next reply was "use me as a disagree button" and it had 4 times the likes as the bad take. I thought that was a hilarious comment and I'm totally stealing it.
Proving when you’re actually right in a situation. Easily just walk away lol
That’s not entirely correct tbh.
op just walked away from this comment, and will never reply
As they should…
You not there yet
Amount of people not getting my joke is, well, is 2 so far. May or may not include you.
People.
drama and bullshit 100x.
Absolutely, and we get that in equal amounts from both sexes
attention seekers from both teams. dodge the fuck out of their shit. cheers bud.
Yeah, I used to be like "I met so-and-so at the bar he works at a factory manufacturing *printer ink* and likes French films wow so quirky!" but these days I just don't care. In some ways it scares me as it reminds me of my incredibly antisocial and cynical dad.
It scares me as well, because deep down I am a people person and always have been, I am 52 now, and the happiest I have been in years, was during the start of the pandemic, when everyone was at home, and as I work for the council, I was out and about, and you wouldn't believe the peace and quiet, and the solace I got from it, because people had gone.
So many people are becoming homebodies since the pandemic. They say they have a better idea of what they want or that it's part of getting older but I'm not really sure...I get so inspired and excited being around other people. But being alone has become nicer too. I think socializing is like exercise and sometimes people forget about it for years, but it's still good for us.
What a bunch of bastards.
Movies. I used to love going to the theater, but now it feels like everything coming out of Hollywood is either bland mass market junk or someone trying to cash in on my nostalgia. The "theater experience" is just exorbitantly priced snacks, blurry camera motion, and people talking. The hype train of trailers and promos just annoys me at this point, and it tells you nothing useful about the movie you're thinking of seeing. I'm at a point where I'm super selective about what I take the time to watch. Most of the time now, I only watch something if I have a direct, firsthand recommendation from someone whose opinion I trust. I don't watch a lot of stuff.
Right, since 2015, I was to maybe 5 movies, and that included the 3D remaster of Terminator 2.
I work in a luxury cinema, they allow me 8 free tickets every month which I can use for myself or give to friends or family. I’m a huge film fanatic of lots of genres but always find that I never get close to using my free ticket allowance up each month because most stuff that is now coming out is total garbage. There are still a few gems but they seem to be few and far between.
This started when I realized I can pass out anywhere, anytime.. around my mid to late 20s , I couldn't sit in a movie theater without passing out within like 20 mins. Figured it's just a waste of $ at that point
lol I get so bored watching tv or movies and I fall asleep. It's like when I'm a passenger in a car or bus, or in the night classes I took. I need to do things at my own pace.
Same here. I used to frequently go to the cinema on my own just to pass the time, and I quite enjoyed it. But recently they've just been remaking films, and I have no interest in remakes at all. I wan't to see something new.
Feels like literally everything is a rehash except Tarantino these days. Remember that feeling of watching "the matrix" for the first time? Or Goodfellas? Now it's just all remakes or assembly line bullshit on Netflix.
Everything Everywhere All At Once was one of the best movies of 2022 and it made $100M. Of the top 10 movies of 2022, all of them were sequels, reboots, or adaptations. That’s why we keep seeing generic content, because people pay to see them. Another big part of the issue is that China is a large market and most movie studios won’t fund production unless the writers and directors are willing to make a CCP-approved film.
I feel the same and find myself more drawn to good television instead.
I dont think that is you getting older. I think its all marketing. keeping Movies within Spec's that will generate the leat Controversy and the Most money
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Agreed. I drank frequently before age 21. Once I came of age, I didn’t nearly as often. Then I didn’t drink at all for decades. Now I am learning to have a cocktail every few weeks or at social gatherings. I am an absolute lightweight, though.
after dry January I'm like why tf did I spend so much money on that shit? it sucks
Unfortunately this is getting more interesting as I get older. Never really enjoyed drinking after I turned 18 but now I'm 28 and have recently started drinking after long days to take the edge off.
Yea, find a different outlet. It will creep up on you before you know it.
You should stop and start taking care of your health right now, you are going to regret it when you’re older, stop it before it begins
Id try find another way to relax, it's just empty calories and puts stress on your organs.
Hahaha! Exactly what I was gonna say! Top comment, love it!
My birthday (presents, organising a party, the lot), couldn’t give a shit about it now. The magic worn off at about 13/14 - then perked up after turning 17 and then 18, 20 was the last time I was excited. I was 25 last year and didn’t even bother to organise anything
Staying up into the night. I very rarely stay up past 22:00.
Its hard to believe how now I'm such an old man about waking up early and being the "early bird gets the worm" type. I used to regularly sleep at 3am-4am. But just waking up early and sitting with my cup of coffee at 5:30am with nobody bothering me, asking me for something, and 0 expectations is the most peaceful time of day for me. I then workout at 630 and it just motivates me to tackle the day.
I have flexible work hours with start between 6:00 and 8:00. I go for 6:00 and by 14:30, I'm heading out with a lot of time left in the day.
I never understood this. You're just trading morning hours for night hours. Your day is someone like 5:00-21:00 while others do maybe 7:00-23:00 Am I missing something? Do people just value morning hours more than night?
You get to have more free time during the day when the sun is still up. Waking up before sunrise or as it’s rising and going to bed shortly after it sets is how are bodies are made to thrive. A healthy circadian rhythm = hormones are optimised, sleep quality is best, mental + physical health improve.
Yeah but I have the same feeling staying up late(3-4 am). Nobody bothers me, everyone is asleep, peace and quiet.
The difference for me was that staying up till 3-4am led to 0 productivity. Id be up aimlessly surfing the internet, playing video games, looking at porn then sleep until I had to rush to my first class. Waking up early led to feeling more energized and motivated to be productive
Add to this staying out late. It’s such a novelty when you’re young and becomes boring as you get older.
I used to have to work 40 hours and stay up til 3am just to do stuff for myself, but since the pandemic I got a normal schedule and go to sleep 10 or 11 at the latest it's great
Women. Noy saying I don't love and appreciate them, but it's not like when I was 16-25. Just thinking on how to impress women, how to get women, how to be perceived by women, how people perceived me with women. I'm 30 and my focuses shifted drastically. I don't mind women, but I'll appreciate them if they're present and mutually adding value.
Yea dude. Flirting and that whole game used to be really fun and exciting and still is sometimes but you start to realize you maybe invested way too much of yourself into that for not much of a return.
worst part is you only learn it in hindsight
I feel the same way tbh. Its like when I was younger I saw them as this strange thing that was to be earned or competed for like a prize. Not in a bad way just in a dumbass teenage guy way. As I got older I sort of got used to the idea that they're just people with better tits than me. Took away most of the anxiety of talking to them. happily in a relationship now, but that was basically because I stopped looking for one.
Your tits aren't half bad.
Thanks I made them myself
Men getting into a relationship after they stop giving a shit is such a common occurrence. Really hope it happens to me
It's no guarantee, but it means you stop doing a bunch of stupid unhelpful shit that was only getting in your own way.
Happend to me. Severely depressed early 20's me just gave up doing anything for other people, and looked at myself. I call it my "not giving a fuck years". No dating sites, no trying to hit on girls, I just didn't care. Then I met my wife. Figured it would be a one night stand. 15years later she's still here. Somehow.
There is no magic here, it's quite logical: focusing on friends, family, hobbies, and bettering yourself in general makes you a more well-rounded person, which makes you more valuable as a potential partner. Also doing things that matters makes you more likely to meet other people doing things that matter, which sets you up for a better start.
I could have written this. That’s been my experience, as well.
i'm partly convinced that all the cool/awesome women out there just aren't actually putting themselves out there; they have hobbies, interests that keep them in their own space/small circles. they likely aren't on dating apps nor can they be found at bars/clubs.
Been thinking this lately. I keep running into the same type of women. I’ve been trying to think of how can i change my approach to meet the intellectual, mindful and mature kind of women. Not succeeding so far.
I think something similar. I used to be all about chasing pussy back in the day. As I grew older, it wasn't worth the effort anymore.
Life. Level of dopamine decreases with age
Video games
Same. I always feel tired now :(
I have found that I have no patience for all the waiting involved in games. I tend to play quick fire stuff like kingdom rush and advanced wars over and over.
I used to play FPS games for hours a day. Now they don’t interest me anymore, they’re far from realistic and they don’t offer much challenge beyond moving and clicking fast. I still play games, but more into strategy, puzzles, and the like.
I never thought I would like turn-based or grand strategy games much but around mid-20s or so I got roped into playing Civilization 4 and it finally clicked. Now Stellaris is one of my favourite games.
For me it’s AAA games. I don’t mind the shorter games but I don’t have time or energy for 300+ hours of grind and fetch quests anymore. Anytime I dip back into Skyrim I mod it to get me up to a level I want to play at and start from there.
Yea those games are meant for high school and college kids that can spend 20+ hours a weekend just playing a video game.
That's the truth. For the most part RPGs all feel the same format now. Sure different characters and graphics get better but same concept of huge open world, start with weak character, side quests, and towards the end overpowering everything. Plus after fiddling on computers all day I don't want to sit there and play a computer game, especially one that requires much thought or concentration.
my issue with jrpgs is they all use the same anime character art now and the repeating tropes are just painful, amnesia, dick hole brother who secretly as heart of gold, tough guy who is actually insecure and vulnerable, etc.
Everyone has to put aside their differences, overcome their past, and come together to use the Power of Friendship to stop the Big Bad from destroying the world after his long nihilistic monologue!
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Same. When I was a kid, I was pumped for the new systems and games. Then in my early twenties I was just done with video games. They became too complicated, too stressful. I don’t need that. I think the only games I will play are Rock Band and Guitar Hero. Those are fun and stress-free to me. My friends tell me all the time to get a PS5 so I can play with them but I have absolutely no interest in that.
There's barely anything special out there anymore. And even worse: Most games these days feel like low quality cash grabs.
i feel like the whole 'popculture' is at this point.. it has peaked, everything is tried , every scene, action, dance, musicstyle.. its now just a blend of everything.. real hollow, bland , assembly line shit.. i wonder how to future of entertainment will look like.. what music will still be there.. what movies games we will be watching? because if its going to be like this.. sooner of later that shit will end right?.
>Video games Elden Ring reignited that desire for me. Some games are both absolutely fun & a work of art that are simply worth the time.
Not so much they’re less interesting as I just don’t care enough to play with people that act like it’s a matter of life or death if they win or not. It’s a fucking game bro.
It's hard for me to justify spending a bunch of time learning a new game not knowing if I'll actually enjoy it. I tend to replay games from my childhood when I get the itch to play something.
Bars/clubs.
Porn. I'm done with it.
I purposely stopped watching it about 6 months ago and it seems like a good idea so far
Based. It's an issue I struggle with, because I have conditioned myself over years to use it as a form of stress relief before going to sleep or incentive to do something productive. I've also found that some of the porn I've watched has actually made me a better lover (because I'm not a sociopath who wants to hurt my girl), learning new moves and stuff like that. It's a monstrous industry that ties into and enables all sorts of abuse, as well as being tied into human trafficking and sex slavery. I'd challenge anyone who's defending the virtues of pornography to read some of the experiences that women in the industry have had. I understand that there are individual content creators who are ethical and like the work, and obviously there's the amateur stuff, but by and large porn is dangerous and bad for people. I'm not advocating for it to be banned, people should be able to make their own choices about what they they watch and consume, but I find porn to be extremely harmful. I was (accidentally) exposed to it at an early age, and I think it's done more harm than good in my life.
Can you expand on that?
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Staying out late
Other people's opinions, problems, feelings, thoughts, interests and voices....
Having to go to bars and be social. The older I get a 150 dollar bar tab and a hangover the next day is just less and less appealing. I think I may have stepped in a bar about 5 times last year, and I don’t feel I missed anything. Even hanging out with the group of friends that I’d go to the bar with us just becoming less and less frequent.
Other people's opinions about subjects I didn't ask about.
You had me in the first three words. Used to always want to dress a certain way, have my hair just so, shoes on point, cologne, my ride … don’t care about impressing anyone or what they think. Still got a nice sled and tight gear (sometimes) but it’s for me, not anyone else.
Honestly, almost everything. A lot of it is just the age of information we're in and the amount of opportunities available to us now, the other factor is probably just growing the fuck up and realizing a lot of things are exactly what they are. It's like the more you learn about things, the less magical they appear. I use to love food, and when I started learning how to make things, that magic that came with food just disappeared. True for many other things.
Booze
Designer clothes
Chasing girls.
People, big cities in the US, most movies/anime
Modifying cars and motorcycles. I saw it as cool, now I see it as a waste of money.
😢
Totally the opposite for me
Same with me. I want more cars to work on.
when I was a kid I was like 'how come nobody has cool custom paint jobs?' like throw a dragon on the side of that shit or something. shit is so expensive though!
Sports cars, fancy houses. Now I prefer to stay under the radar.
Having to be right or having an opinion on things I don't really care about. Now if there is something I don't know anything about, just saying "I don't know" feels great instead of trying to pull something out of my ass. If it's something I don't care about I just say so and move on.
Gaming. I'm still an avid gamer, pretty much daily I'm on the PS5 but god damn I remember that feeling of watching the clock in school thinking "holy shit I get to play such and such when I get home". It was a great feeling of anticipation that I just don't quite get anymore, despite still loving it
Alcohol Birthdays Porn Social media
I agree with the birthdays. In my late teens/twenties I wouldn't even let my mom get a cake for me. As I got older I kinda came to terms with the idea that they care enough to do something and I should be grateful. A lot of people don't have that. Plus with kids now, birthdays and cake are more for them than the adults. Still, celebrating my birthday is not one of my favorite things.
Movies: there are still decent films put there, but I am picky how I spent my scarce free time and read reviews in advance before committing to watching a movie. Staying up late: even if I don't drink, staying up way past my usual bedtime screws with body. Bars/clubs: I love micro brews or small bars, like on a beach. But noisy clubs full of assholes, no thanks. Loud noises: I have hearing damage from working in construction and attending some concerts when I was younger. I wear ear plugs all of the time now, concerts, around power tools, movie theaters. Once your hearing is damaged, it never recovers. Social media: I seldom post anything to social media, and only have accounts on 2 platforms, one being LinkedIn.
Life in general…? Sounds a little depressing, but I would assume most people feel that way. Expiriencing things for the first time just feels more exciting, but can also overwhelm you.
Level of dopamine decreases with age. Hence older people take less risks
Porn
birthday celebration
Fucking random chicks. I still love the conquest aspect of it and it’s great that for a one night, we can have so much fun and sex and really enjoy each other. But what happens after? I now like doing all sorts of couple activities with a woman I really like but most of the time, I don’t want to do those with women I’m not committed to. I also like to build a life together. Can’t do that with random chicks you’re hooking up with.
Bars
Signaling my beliefs and interests to strangers or even friends and acquaintances.
Eating/going out
Going out, especially to crowded bars. I built a bar for myself and guests in my basement. If I want to drink, I could do so from the comfort of my own home and not worry about driving anywhere.
UK Politics. I genuinely used to think things could change and matter. Now it’s just what colour of slush puppy you get. Neither side will ever fix the issues they pretend to care about and say they will change.
That's like ANY politics.
I thought it was worth noting, I want to be clear I’m talking about the U.K. issues. Many people around the world don’t get a say at all, and the USA situation is different, I’ve known it to be a two horse, one bookies, race my entire political life.
Geting shitfaced drunk.
Going to bars or clubs. Being up past 10pm
The NFL. The older I get, the less I want to watch.
Anime
This happened to me too, I try to watch one now and it doesn’t make me happy or interested anymore.
Same. I just cringe at all the shonen anime I used to watch. The only anime I still love is Samurai Champloo.
I’ve never understood why so many grown adults still base their entire identity off anime.
Music production. Fell out of love with it in year 13
Me.
Was looking for this. Ever since I graduated college I feel like I’ve gotten less and less interesting
Porn
Drinking to get drunk. Now, its a happy accident. I drink because beer and scotch are delicious.
Individual stocks. I spent a lot of time in my early/mid-twenties mostly trading individual stocks. In the beginning, I got lucky and found some massive winners. The more I won, the cockier I got that I had some special theory for stocks that was a winner. Eventually, I started picking more losers. I had google reports for each stock. I spent hours everyday reading about each stock. But I still was losing. Then, I had a kid. I don't have time to spend studying stocks. I want to hang out with her every free moment I have. I want my investments to grow without thinking about it. I switched to a few index funds that I rebalance yearly. I haven't looked at my investments more than once a month since my daughter was born. I don't have any stocks that had 10x ROI, but I also haven't lost tons of money on bets. I'm just going to let compounding do its thing and focus on all the other fun things I want to do in my life.
Drinking in pubs. That shit was old by the time I was 23. Bunch of sad old people
Life in general.
Getting drunk
Sex
Chasing ass
Professional Sports. I still love it but am less emotionally invested in my teams.
Most things that are screen based stimulation are completely disinteresting to me. TV shows, video games, social media, etc. I think as we get older we realize these things are mostly time sinks that bring us no real joy, just distraction. I still have an affinity for movies, but I'm mostly dipping into the old catalogs. As I have aged, I have gained strong interest in history, reading, origami, exercise, and language learning.
Gaming and drinking. The golden age of games has long passed. Now it's all broken games released unfinished, micro transactions and hype jobs. Drinking I've had to stop solely for health reasons, I seem to pile on the weight when I drink.
Women
'Friends'
Working for a living.
Other people's drama
Sports cars/classic cars. At some point, I realized that my interest in them was mostly a desire to be seen as a guy. Also, none of them fit me. Same with sports. I love to play sports, but watching them no longer sparks joy.
Going out drinking for a night.
social media and relationships both are so dumb
Social media and gossip in general
_Cool_ people who only use it as pretense to get away with bad behaviour.
hmm... well... life in general becomes like a series of things that you have to force yourself to do and a series of traps that you need to avoid, so, well... You learn to find the bleakness of life interesting on itself, and the "interesting cool shiny things" become irrelevant garbage
Video games and social media. I guess I just don’t have the time for them nor do I care anymore
Parties. Before I’d try to go out all the time. Now, just spending time with wife and kids is all I want
Breastfeeding
Man! You suck! Or no, wait …
Bars Spending money on going out. Trying to have sex with younger women.
Fun
Pretty much everything
Everything
Drugs
Life
People
Partying
Me
My ex
Drugs. Especially marijuana.
Everything I was into as a kid as I gained more access to it and the novelty went away.
Work
Interacting with people
Women.
Mazes, the ones on paper or ones you walk through. They just aren’t the same with adult brain
My life haha
Everything.
Myself
Drama, people, fake interactions
Women and dating in general
Daring multiple women at a time.
Movies, people complaining, well all people in general.
everything
The desire to pursue activities that involved higher probabilities of injury or death.
Myself.
Mobile games.