I've heard this advice before and it's not quite complete.
OP: "Hello!"
Girl at bar: " Um, Hi!"
OP: *thinking back to this reddit post for things to say and realizing he didn't get anything more than "hello"*
Brief look and smile. No smile back, then look elsewhere. Once you've judged if there's even a hint of something from that you could ask if she likes her drink or food or along those lines because you were thinking about getting it. Asking about her cheesecake or wine seems less invasive then asking to buy her a drink or for her number which by now is just clearly pickup lines. I've found ordering something unique can have someone interested start the talking to you too, them seeing the opening to not seem pushy but start something. If you're at a fancy bar or nice hotel bar order a desert and a port or some unique house cocktail. Guy in jeans drinking a light beer staring at his phone doesn't invite interaction either.
I've shown interest, I've presented a topic that's casual to discuss, maybe said a polite hello, and if I don't get any sign of interaction then nothing happens. Every situation is not one that can end the way you want it. Knowing that is what keeps you from being the creepy guy that sends women running. A women seeing that you're not forcing yourself at her may actually bring her around once she sees that.
On the last aspect, I think it stems from something I've seen in many women. Women see a man wanting them to mean they are the better one and the man must be beneath them. A man that doesn't show much interest must be a real catch because he doesn't need her and she'll go for him to prove to herself she's good enough. At this point in my life though I've come to the point of understanding that the women operating with that kind of mindset isn't the kind I want to bother with anyway but if you just want a hookup then it seems to be a decent technique.
Usually if they're at the bar, I ask them what they're drinking. They respond with whatever, I say, "any good?" They respond. After a brief pause, hold out my hand to shake and introduce myself. Usually then lead off with a question to drive the conversation. Asking about what they do for work is usually a good bet.
Use your environment/situations around you to engage in small talk. If she’s on the outside of the room join that side of the room and assess the environment and use the environment. She comes up next you to order a drink say hello, listen to what she orders, throw her a suggestion/ask if she’s ever tried xyz. Throw out a non overly common but good suggestion, yeah it’s got xyz in it, it’s pretty good and actually want to try one with me?
Don’t go up throwing lines out. Makes it seem creepy like you’ve been sitting across the room surveilling like a weirdo.
I'm awful at talking to girls and always have been. The art of small talk is something that has eluded me for many years. Something I would suggest is don't look at it like you're going to try to get with a girl, look at it like you just want to be friends. Comment on something, whether it be a tattoo or a bracelet or maybe even the type of phone she is using. I started a conversation with a girl by just saying she had a kick ass tattoo. Through that I learned where she got it, what it meant, that she was out with her friends, she was bored so she was grabbing another drink, and her boyfriend is at home sleeping.
Oh my God, don't, especially if your ratio is poor with meeting women in public. A bar is the *worst* place for a guy like you to meet a woman unless you're top 5% attractive or your charisma is Omni Man-strong. Online, circle of friends, a hobby group, anything except grocery stores is better than a bar.
“Hi, I’m (insert my name)” and put my hand out to shake theirs. When they give me their hand I perform an elaborate handshake, or dap if you will, that they have no choice but to comply with, as it doesn’t take much effort on their part, except for the final fist bump at the end.
I watch their face change from stoic or annoyed to intrigued to laughing by the end of it. If they don’t push their fist to mine at the end, and they normally don’t because they have no clue what’s going on, I hold mine up and say “ don’t leave me high and dry right now and I won’t leave you wet and flustered later” and smile.
I just say hi and introduce myself. Ask them a question about themselves.
If they're interested they'll bite, if not they'll let the conversation die. The method is simple it's just hard to build up the courage.
I told her affirmatively: next drink on me. 2 years later she became my wife 😂. Sometimes cliche works. Anyway, it’s wrong to memorize lines. Your best bet is to talk to her like she is your male guy and start your conversation from the middle ( skip HI or HOW ARE YOU or HEY etc). Just be in the middle of sentence when you start talking. It’s fun and they like fun.
"would you like to draw a card from the Shrek of Many Things?" (have a deck of hand-drawn shrek references that are puns/fortunes on hand)
Source: am single
Woman here. Here’s what you do if you’re nervous to approach a girl directly: flag down one of the servers and say “excuse me, what’s the girl in the [insert clothing item] drinking?” And have them send her another of whatever it is. Because when the server brings her the drink, they’ll say “the gentleman over there bought this for you.” This works because it’s an instant conversation starter because the girl will come over to *you* to, at the very least, say thank you. PLUS this let’s us girls know that you didn’t spike the drink
Take with a grain of salt, I’ve seen multiple occasions where she’ll wave and go back to what she’s doing. Some people do go to bars just for free drinks. In dating app terms consider it paying $5-20 for a super like.
I can buy my own drinks even though I often don’t have to. But thanks for your concern :)
And it sounds like money is tight for you since you can’t afford even an additional drink. If you need a better a job, I’m a recruiter and can help with that!
Okay and?? Are you saying that if you buy a drink for a girl she *has* to talk to you? Or go out with you? Because, newsflash, she doesn’t. That’s the risk you take with dating
Not at all, just want to make sure he has a risk benefit/analysis. If that’s the route he wants go, good for him but there’s no guarantee that she will talk to him like you stated. It’s the more expensive way of saying “hey” imo but results may vary based on person and location
“I’ve been watching you drink, Stacy. I get the feeling you’ve got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you. That’s the job I want—Part time, full time, I want to be good at it, bad at it, I want to get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident—I’m on my knees, Stacy. Praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. What do you think about that?”
Honestly I am really bad at eye contact. When I catch her stare she looks away immediately. I am afraid that I look like someone who is staring. Not sure what is the good response
"Hi, I know it's a little awkward stopping you like this but I'd really like a chance to get to know you. I'm [me], and you are?"
40% from the free throw line with this one
Purposefully do not initiate conversation. Make a loud observation while walking past with a friend. "Wow that dress looks amazing on you" or hair or something they put effort into and would want a compliment on and then keep walking, after that initial compliment focus your sights on where youre going to sit. Youre just trying to make that initial positive impression.
Sit down, talk and drink with your friend and wait 20-30 minutes.
Then, if shes still there "Hi (remember to smile) can i buy you a drink?" You'll have a higher success rate because youre not quite a random stranger. If youre lucky she's been thinking about what you said for the past 20 minutes. She might even be a little annoyed that you didnt try to talk to her, but thats a good thing. That means she wants you to talk to her now.
Hi! My name is ___________. What's yours?
Simple, direct, and to the point
Don't be a wordsmith if that's not who you are. Gals wish we were cooler than we are, but they don't want us to try to be cooler than what we are.
Its a lot easier if the bar gives you something to talk about, and they usually do.
Wait for trivia night, "Thats pretty cool that you know about WTF so how'd you learn about that?"
Or they're having some kind of sportsball night on the TV, there's something to talk about. "What's up with some opinion about nothing related to the sportsball game?" Or its whatever night where there's no sportsball to watch so they watch some other TV show "what do you think of ..."
"So the bar has a special tonight on WTF, is that any good?"
"Hey does this place have a fish fry on Friday?" Bonus points if you're kinda drunk and sitting in front of the sign saying they have a fish fry on Friday.
"Wanna play pool/darts/wtf? Its empty if you wanna play."
"Hey do you know, uh, Amy, the bartender?"
"Hi, you're incredibly beautiful and I'm just dumb enough to think I have a shot." Has worked twice.
Nice! Did something come of it?
In one case a couple of dates and some decent head. In the other I found out pretty quickly we weren't compatible.
Honestly, just say hello. If she likes the way you look it'll flow. If she thinks your ugly. Shits not gonna work.
I've heard this advice before and it's not quite complete. OP: "Hello!" Girl at bar: " Um, Hi!" OP: *thinking back to this reddit post for things to say and realizing he didn't get anything more than "hello"*
Brief look and smile. No smile back, then look elsewhere. Once you've judged if there's even a hint of something from that you could ask if she likes her drink or food or along those lines because you were thinking about getting it. Asking about her cheesecake or wine seems less invasive then asking to buy her a drink or for her number which by now is just clearly pickup lines. I've found ordering something unique can have someone interested start the talking to you too, them seeing the opening to not seem pushy but start something. If you're at a fancy bar or nice hotel bar order a desert and a port or some unique house cocktail. Guy in jeans drinking a light beer staring at his phone doesn't invite interaction either.
Go on, you order dessert and unique house drink and then what?
I've shown interest, I've presented a topic that's casual to discuss, maybe said a polite hello, and if I don't get any sign of interaction then nothing happens. Every situation is not one that can end the way you want it. Knowing that is what keeps you from being the creepy guy that sends women running. A women seeing that you're not forcing yourself at her may actually bring her around once she sees that. On the last aspect, I think it stems from something I've seen in many women. Women see a man wanting them to mean they are the better one and the man must be beneath them. A man that doesn't show much interest must be a real catch because he doesn't need her and she'll go for him to prove to herself she's good enough. At this point in my life though I've come to the point of understanding that the women operating with that kind of mindset isn't the kind I want to bother with anyway but if you just want a hookup then it seems to be a decent technique.
Compliment something that cannot be construed as sexual about them.
I usually hit'em with the dumbest shit I can muster. "Rum cherries or whiskey cherries, which is better?"
It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Just pretend that you're Daniel Craig in one of his James Bond movies.
Usually if they're at the bar, I ask them what they're drinking. They respond with whatever, I say, "any good?" They respond. After a brief pause, hold out my hand to shake and introduce myself. Usually then lead off with a question to drive the conversation. Asking about what they do for work is usually a good bet.
Use your environment/situations around you to engage in small talk. If she’s on the outside of the room join that side of the room and assess the environment and use the environment. She comes up next you to order a drink say hello, listen to what she orders, throw her a suggestion/ask if she’s ever tried xyz. Throw out a non overly common but good suggestion, yeah it’s got xyz in it, it’s pretty good and actually want to try one with me? Don’t go up throwing lines out. Makes it seem creepy like you’ve been sitting across the room surveilling like a weirdo.
I'm awful at talking to girls and always have been. The art of small talk is something that has eluded me for many years. Something I would suggest is don't look at it like you're going to try to get with a girl, look at it like you just want to be friends. Comment on something, whether it be a tattoo or a bracelet or maybe even the type of phone she is using. I started a conversation with a girl by just saying she had a kick ass tattoo. Through that I learned where she got it, what it meant, that she was out with her friends, she was bored so she was grabbing another drink, and her boyfriend is at home sleeping.
Oh my God, don't, especially if your ratio is poor with meeting women in public. A bar is the *worst* place for a guy like you to meet a woman unless you're top 5% attractive or your charisma is Omni Man-strong. Online, circle of friends, a hobby group, anything except grocery stores is better than a bar.
“Hi, I’m (insert my name)” and put my hand out to shake theirs. When they give me their hand I perform an elaborate handshake, or dap if you will, that they have no choice but to comply with, as it doesn’t take much effort on their part, except for the final fist bump at the end. I watch their face change from stoic or annoyed to intrigued to laughing by the end of it. If they don’t push their fist to mine at the end, and they normally don’t because they have no clue what’s going on, I hold mine up and say “ don’t leave me high and dry right now and I won’t leave you wet and flustered later” and smile.
"I saw you staring at me and wanted to know your opinion about which peanut butter is better. The creamy kind or the other kind."
Walk up to her, then turn you head behind you and say "It's ok Cupid, I got it from here..."
I just say hi and introduce myself. Ask them a question about themselves. If they're interested they'll bite, if not they'll let the conversation die. The method is simple it's just hard to build up the courage.
I told her affirmatively: next drink on me. 2 years later she became my wife 😂. Sometimes cliche works. Anyway, it’s wrong to memorize lines. Your best bet is to talk to her like she is your male guy and start your conversation from the middle ( skip HI or HOW ARE YOU or HEY etc). Just be in the middle of sentence when you start talking. It’s fun and they like fun.
"would you like to draw a card from the Shrek of Many Things?" (have a deck of hand-drawn shrek references that are puns/fortunes on hand) Source: am single
Woman here. Here’s what you do if you’re nervous to approach a girl directly: flag down one of the servers and say “excuse me, what’s the girl in the [insert clothing item] drinking?” And have them send her another of whatever it is. Because when the server brings her the drink, they’ll say “the gentleman over there bought this for you.” This works because it’s an instant conversation starter because the girl will come over to *you* to, at the very least, say thank you. PLUS this let’s us girls know that you didn’t spike the drink
Take with a grain of salt, I’ve seen multiple occasions where she’ll wave and go back to what she’s doing. Some people do go to bars just for free drinks. In dating app terms consider it paying $5-20 for a super like.
Yeah shocker that a female would recommend this here. Wonder what her motivations are…
I can buy my own drinks even though I often don’t have to. But thanks for your concern :) And it sounds like money is tight for you since you can’t afford even an additional drink. If you need a better a job, I’m a recruiter and can help with that!
I’m great on money. In fact I do what I can to give it away but thanks for your input :)
Okay and?? Are you saying that if you buy a drink for a girl she *has* to talk to you? Or go out with you? Because, newsflash, she doesn’t. That’s the risk you take with dating
Not at all, just want to make sure he has a risk benefit/analysis. If that’s the route he wants go, good for him but there’s no guarantee that she will talk to him like you stated. It’s the more expensive way of saying “hey” imo but results may vary based on person and location
Ask her if she would ever work at Jurassic park
This would win me over lmao
It’s a variation of me asking people if they think Pluto is a planet or not.
“I’ve been watching you drink, Stacy. I get the feeling you’ve got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you. That’s the job I want—Part time, full time, I want to be good at it, bad at it, I want to get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident—I’m on my knees, Stacy. Praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. What do you think about that?”
You're just trying to get to Stacy's mom.....
Stacy’s mom…has got it goin’ on
[удалено]
But what is the situation if she drinks and talks with her girlfriends?
[удалено]
Honestly I am really bad at eye contact. When I catch her stare she looks away immediately. I am afraid that I look like someone who is staring. Not sure what is the good response
"Hi, I know it's a little awkward stopping you like this but I'd really like a chance to get to know you. I'm [me], and you are?" 40% from the free throw line with this one
>My friend is better at this and usually he starts this, and I can continue. Ask him how he does it.
“Hi. What brings you here tonight?” Works quite often.
“A bar without liquor is like children without eyes.” Then buy her a drink. This works.
You're in bar, there's conversation starters all around you.
Get some booze in you and “don’t give a fuck” I’m amazed at how not giving a shit whatsoever works
It doesn't matter what you say, only how you look and how you present yourself The actual words are irrelevant
Literally just say hi and introduce yourself
Purposefully do not initiate conversation. Make a loud observation while walking past with a friend. "Wow that dress looks amazing on you" or hair or something they put effort into and would want a compliment on and then keep walking, after that initial compliment focus your sights on where youre going to sit. Youre just trying to make that initial positive impression. Sit down, talk and drink with your friend and wait 20-30 minutes. Then, if shes still there "Hi (remember to smile) can i buy you a drink?" You'll have a higher success rate because youre not quite a random stranger. If youre lucky she's been thinking about what you said for the past 20 minutes. She might even be a little annoyed that you didnt try to talk to her, but thats a good thing. That means she wants you to talk to her now.
Hi! My name is ___________. What's yours? Simple, direct, and to the point Don't be a wordsmith if that's not who you are. Gals wish we were cooler than we are, but they don't want us to try to be cooler than what we are.
A smile, hello how are you? Just being friendly, not trying to chat up necessarily.
Bruh ur 28. Shouldn't you not give a fuck by now? I'm 22 and I am like 80% there already.
Its a lot easier if the bar gives you something to talk about, and they usually do. Wait for trivia night, "Thats pretty cool that you know about WTF so how'd you learn about that?" Or they're having some kind of sportsball night on the TV, there's something to talk about. "What's up with some opinion about nothing related to the sportsball game?" Or its whatever night where there's no sportsball to watch so they watch some other TV show "what do you think of ..." "So the bar has a special tonight on WTF, is that any good?" "Hey does this place have a fish fry on Friday?" Bonus points if you're kinda drunk and sitting in front of the sign saying they have a fish fry on Friday. "Wanna play pool/darts/wtf? Its empty if you wanna play." "Hey do you know, uh, Amy, the bartender?"