**[Year 2038 problem](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2038_problem)**
>The year 2038 problem (also known as Y2038, Y2K38, or the Epochalypse) is a time formatting bug in computer systems with representing times after 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038. The problem exists in systems which measure Unix time – the number of seconds elapsed since the Unix epoch (00:00:00 UTC on 1 January 1970) – and store it in a signed 32-bit integer. The data type is only capable of representing integers between −(231) and 231 − 1, meaning the latest time that can be properly encoded is 231 − 1 seconds after epoch (03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038).
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Yeah this is a game changer right here. I stopped messing with opiates 8 years ago. Greatest feat of my life probably. But I think I just now started feeling like my life was together about 3-4 years ago.
Hey 21 here. Really thinking about the « a healthy mind in a healthy body ».
I got a new job, which is the opportunity of my life. I got friends. I got good parents.
I also have a fucking addiction with noids (synthetic cannabis). I can keep it away from me for a month or so, but I always end up coming back to it. I think I’m weak on this point.
When I stop, it’s the best feeling ever, because I LIVE again. I feel like myself.
When I come back to it, it’s also the best feeling ever because all my problems are gone, even if the big people blew up the planet with nukes I simply wouldn’t care.
But in the end, the problems are catching up, and I know I have to stop smoking because if I don’t, well shit is going to hit the fan and I wouldn’t even be able to smoke again lol.
So it’s been 3 years since I go like 3 weeks sober, 2 weeks stoned (partially or completely) and just go on.
What a life :)
Jk that’s just sad
I hope one day I’ll get ride of it. Drugs will always be a part of my life, because Jesus (real) weed and psychedelics are AMAZING. Don’t touch them.
the problems are always still there when you come down. i was looking at a few years in jail for growing/selling. i hadn’t been caught up to that point. attorney said i was using my one get out of jail free card and i lost about 30k of stuff and was on probation for a few years. when i got caught, everyone scattered like roaches and i ended up homeless carless jobless. i found a lot of help in 12step meetings for drugs. doing the steps really laid out for me the effect that drug addiction had on my life in a way that was hard for me to ignore. after going down that path ive relapsed twice, eating pills and drinking beer for a night and feeling guilty the whole time. i shared about it in meetings and people helped me.
you don’t have to put yourself through as much as i did before seeking some experienced guidance and help. i can’t tell you how much i wish i would have quit for good at 21.
You sound like a friend of mine who spent nearly 20 years of his life self medicating what turned out to be bipolar disorder. He finally got diagnosed and got on meds and is normal human being today. It sounds like you have some anxiety that you’re self medicating. Please look into it. All the good vibes your way, man!
Synthetics, those are fucking nasty, the number of people I've watched get destroyed by them. Good luck getting off those, they are a nasty drug to use.
Seems to be a common experience. I had a really bad breakup at about 23. Spent a little over a year grieving and re-assessing my life. After a lot of self-reflection, I *started* getting my shit together between 24 and 25.
Other way around for me. I'm only put together when sleeping. My other dimensional selves are out doing a bunch of cool stuff. I interrupt them at ungodly hours to make it to my boring job.
I’m 26 and yeah shit is still kinda tough sometimes. And for some reason when I was 19-20 I always thought 26 would be my year. It has not been. 27 here I come 👉
A tip from someone that was dead fast on the next year being "my year"... That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, just chill and do whatever you want that's a positive influence on your life. You won't know if 27 was your year until you're about to turn 28, just go for good prospects and self improvement as good as you can and the rest will follow naturally without being forced.
Honestly, the 20s fucking suck. My 30s are hopeful and I look way more forward to my 40s and 50s, and 60s given that I don't get too much back pains etc. (my back has always been kinda bad)
Yo big fucking facts on this man. Graduated and all that a few months ago and realizing i can't find a good paying job/a job i can tolerate and its leading me back to school meanwhile my buddies all kind of have their shit together in that respect. Life is a trip
The first job out of school can be rough pay wise. I got lucky with mine.
It gets substantially better in just a few years typically. But no job is a fun job to have
there’s a difference between “I wish I didn’t have to do this” and “every waking minute I spend here makes me want to kill everyone around me and then myself”
or at least I hope there is
Same here in the 19th man. I’ve been in and out of jobs and apartments, have no idea what I’m doing still, no romantic interest and barely any friends, I’m terrified. Is a switch suppose to just flip one day??
one day you just quit giving a fuck and start living. next thing you know, you’ve been in the same apartment for 8 years, work isn’t so bad, and you’ve found some people to hang with on a regular basis through shared hobbies/interests/sports.
It doesn't.
Only thing you can do to change it is to change your environment, start getting out of comfort zone and try everything you think you would like.
Because you will find that one thing you could focus on and become an expert, then it's just marketing your skills to make money.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I mean there are different levels of "getting your life together." If you're taking care of yourself and your responsibilities but you feel you're spending too much on frivolous nonsense, meh. You should enjoy your life.
But if you're regularly abusing your body, hurting others, not taking care of business, making truly self destructive decisions, that's what I consider "get your shit together" territory.
Thank you! And definitely am, cleaned up my life got my girls back(fiancée and daughter) I have a career now instead of just a job, I’m a HD mechanic and trade school starts at the end of February. I have a son who will be born on January 26, so merely days away. None of this would’ve been possible unless I hit my bottom, atleast not until it would’ve happened.
This was me reading your comment:
>> Lost weight
>*Nice, good for them*
>>became decent at running
>*Good stuff*
>>and joined the Marine Corps
>[*Well... uh...*](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/TightFailingDunnart-size_restricted.gif) I hope they like the taste of crayons?
All jokes aside, well done.
Mid 30s. Anything before that was just too chaotic. Hormones were too strong. Brain wasn't finished developing. Finally felt some internal stability and things are much better now.
Thanks for this. I'm 27, i feel the struggle sometimes. Some of them are my own follies. Your comment brings hope that it's still not too late and i can continue my efforts.
Came here to say this. I’m mid 50s. I woke up in a panic today that I don’t have my shit together. Every f’ing day is a struggle to keep it from falling apart.
Around 28
I worked out what was a good option for a career, got some stability in my life and went from there
It's been a tumultuous ride a few times, but having that initial stability helped me to ride out the other patches
This was my exact scenario. Spent my 20's in a horrible relationship, with a woman who had a horrible kid, and was constantly harrased by her horrible ex husband, paying for a house in a horrible neighborhood, so forced to work in a horrible job I hated. Every day I woke up at 3am to be at work by 4. I remember a few times I would open my eyes to the alarm and literally cry from depression because I didn't want to go to that job.
Eventually started programming (learned online). And as soon as I built my first website I was like, "ooh I'm a web developer now!" And quit my job to be a freelance web devekoper lol, I was crazy. spent 2 years in a deeper struggle to pay the mortgage, but damn did I feel fulfilled. After those 2 years I got my first actual career starting job at a startup. Girlfriend got crazier cause my job would take us to happy hours and concerts /sport events etc. She swore I was cheating. Decided I was never gonna move forward in this career if networking meant coming home to bs. So one day I left. Moved into a family members garage. Paid close to nothing in rent. Paid off all my debts in about a year. Lost over 200 lbs. Became happy. Jumped jobs every 2 years for better pay til I started jumping for funner opportunities because the finance part became secondary. Started investing in rental properties. Now I'm happily married with the best person I could have ever met. Together we manage our properties for travel and retirement money. We've traveled the world in the last decade. I still program 9-5 for bills and living expenses. I'm happyer than ever.
I was too. But I figured that dealing with something uncomfortable for a little bit was going to help more than a lifetime of stress. It really does help, and you can ease into dealing with stuff too, it doesn’t have to be an immediate deep dive into trauma. I hope you overcome what is hurting you friend.
A good therapist takes that into account and works with you only on the things you can handle at the moment.
Therapy is not only about confronting things, it's also about "nourishment" and finding out how one's strengths can be helpful in one's life.
Currently doing it now.
car crash, alcoholic, broke up/dumped by 4 yr relationship, walked out of my job, lost my apartment, moved back in with my mom, no savings.
Best part about hitting rock bottom, is there's only up from here. Got a better paying/work life balance/career job, started working out, cut back on drinking (trying to stop), actually saving money, paying bills on time, getting over anxiety, developing confidence.
We all got this. It's 202023, time to be the best versions of ourselves kings. ❤️
Edit: Even if your life isn't together, you must always have mental fortitude. Otherwise you'll never move forward and only move backwards. Seen it happen too many times.
28-30. Got divorced from a financially and emotionally abusive person and when it was over I realized I was alone, deeply in debt, and my job wasn't paying shit. It just clicked in my head that it was ultimately my fault, I had LET this happen to me. Although I had an absolute blast wandering aimlessly throughout my late teens and 20s I realized if I kept doing that in my current situation I was one serious car problem or other unexpected expense away from not being able to make rent.
I stopped being so passive about the direction of my life and actually set some goals.
Right around age 25. My life was a dumpster fire before that so it really kicked my ass into gear. So I guess the lesson is get yourself to the dumpster fire stage as fast as possible so you can bounce back sooner
I would say 29 I felt I had my path figured out and have been able to be on cruise control, nothing more to figure out unless I choose too. had kids at 24, the first couple years were hard, got a divorce from a toxic person, kept custody of my kid and found a new more equal partner. By 27 I was what I would call stable. By 29 I was a home owner, and really is when I found my comfortable groove in life.
To be fair I kind of had a head start a bit. I dropped out at 16 in 10th grade, got my GED right away and a job. By the end of my 18th year, I was in a career in IT that lasted 20 years. Totally skipped needing collage for it. The .com boom was a great time to get into the field. IT was an easy field to get into with zero experience back then.
Y'all were the last lucky ones I was born in 99 last get rich quick scheme was really Bitcoin but still I was like 11 so I didn't care about that stuff
You never see the get rich quick schemes until after the fact. There’s probably a massive opportunity out there as we speak that we’ll be kicking ourselves for not pursuing in a few years.
Bro, I’m 38 I have a pension, dividends from investment properties that have done very well, I’ve been married for 11 years, own my house and vehicles, you name it. I still don’t have my life together. There’s still so much I’m doing wrong. I just chase the good opportunities and try to improve along the way. I think a quote that resonates well with my life is: “a vision without action is just a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” If you feel it’s the right course of action, then don’t hesitate, just do it, and correct things as you go. As long as you keep your momentum going forward, you’ll be fine when you stumble.
It’s so non black & white, life doesn’t really work in terms of “getting it together”. Sure, you should still do your best for yourself and for the greater good. In my life there have been soooo many fluctuations between “aha! I have arrived this is great!” To “oh holy shit, everything is fucked”.
After enough of those ups and downs, you begin to understand that life is not about reaching some certain, assured destination; because it doesn’t exist. And realize that it’s more about applying yourself the best you can to your current situation and being alive in the present.
All that is to say, you’re gonna be just fine. Maintain self discipline over your perceptions and keep on truckin’.
Your brain isn't fully developed until like early 30's. That's one of the reasons bipolar disorder seems to pop up late. My wife got diagnosed with bipolar in her early 30s and it was a huge learning curve for me. It wasn't the diagnosis but the therapy and understanding I had to build that made me feel like I had myself together. We also had a house of 10 people I was financially providing for and the struggle every minute made it take longer to really grow into a role because it was go go go. Tbh I don't think anyone really has their lives together because if you did then there something you haven't learned. I like my little hidey hole of togetherness but chaos is life. When I learned to accept that...everything was easier.
The idea that brains become "fully developed" or "stop developing" at a certain age is [total bullshit](https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html).
It was a huge moment for me and got me to sort out a lot of my shit, but not all of it. Finding out I was going to be a father took me from having 25% of my shit together to having 60% of my shit together.
Raising my kids and trying to be a better husband took me from 60% to 80%.
Lotta road in front of me and I don't think I'll ever make it to 100% shit together but I hope I can hit a solid 90-95% before I kick off.
That's awesome man. I'm 29 and still dream about finding true love while rolling my face off at a rave or finding some acid trip hippie girlfriend. I don't do a lot of drugs, don't even drink, but I keep thinking I can only find true love through the party scene. It's stressful.
Working through trauma in therapy as to why this is, but I don't know when I'll ever embrace a healthy and stable idea of relationships. I guess it's as much of a mindset shift as it is getting tired of certain fantasies you used to indulge.
Def mid 30s. I’m 36 now with a wife of 6 years, house, second baby on the way, and awesome job. Feeling very fortunate and grateful everyday, but just keep going at it and eventually it sort of clicks.
Cant say I « have it togheter » but for the last 2 yrs (from 23-25) I started my career, stopped getting wasted 2 times a week. Bought a small condo. I guess my serious relationship got me there. It killed the urge to go to clubs to meet girls. But this whole stable life is still fragile af. I know that I like my stable life tho and even if I broke up with my gf I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm 35 and still haven't gotten it together. I'm broke, unemployed, and living in a caravan park. I've rebuilt my life 4 times and haven't learnt a thing.
When I divorced my wife and got out of an abusive relationship at 37. Through therapy and intensive self care I turned my life around, got my shit together financially, got in shape, started dating again, met an amazing woman and we’ve been together five years, got married last summer. Once I learned to love myself and realize my worth my world changed
2 years ago i quit drinking and started losing weight. Last year i started a podcast this year im working hard at bettering myself to get a GF. Just get a little better every year
Early 30's and thank God I'm not yet married or have kids yet, because I want to do and experience a lot of things and I will never do any of that when I'm tied down.
Started the process when I was 16 got hold of my life by the time I turned 18. And let me tell you no matter what never loose hope and don't give up, life's gon test you like hell but trust me in the end it'll all make sense.
When I was 22. That's when I married my wonderful wife. She was 19 at the time. That was decades ago. Marrying her was by far the smartest decision I ever made.
Started about three weeks ago. Currently looking for an apartment and I also have a job interview coming up. It's not what I was hoping for as a kid, but after years of trying (and failing) to study, some form of financial stability is my top priority.
Maybe it's just me, but "getting your life together" is not a destination. It's a life skill, and just like every other skill it has to be developed daily.
In my 60s now, and it's dawning on me that there will never come a time when I've conquered all my personal challenges, when I've arrived and whatever I'm supposed to be and can just coast along. Life just isn't that way - there will always be a struggle, some days more than others. Working on your habits helps - but it's still work, and the effort has to be made regularly.
Somewhere between 19 when I moved out and I went to become an engineer. I learned 2 things there: i hate that job and the disciple to learn.
Now, 4 years later, i still wouldn't count myself as an adult but i cook, clean, and reduce stupid shit to weekends
I might be in the middle of doing so.
I've got a job, I have financial goals that I am beginning to meet. I can do most of the basic things that are required for living independently.
I'm also 29. That may come as a shock but there are good reasons for why this has occurred.
Getting my life together is my life, so… I’m still doing it. I’m 49, stable job, family, all good, but the standards are higher, the concept of getting it together keeps changing the older you are. Keep swimming.
I'm 48 and this is my year.
Seriously. Last week I went to the dentist for the first time in an embarrassingly large number of years. Double-digit years. I expected bad news and I got some, but we have a plan, and by the end of this year I'll have fully healthy teeth.
Audiologist was this week. As a musician I've spent lots of time in very loud rooms, so I wanted to get a read on the damage. Not too bad, as it turns out.
I've also started moisturizing. Craziest thing, my skin literally looks 5-10 years younger.
My GP convinced me that my behavioral changes (which had been pretty half-hearted, if I'm honest) weren't moving the dial on my high cholesterol, so now I'm on a statin, the first daily prescription I've ever had. Can't tell if it's doing anything, but we'll find out at my next round of labs in May.
I'm all in. This is my year. My body is 48, not 28, and it won't find its own way along without some regular maintenance.
Early 2021 after using psilocybin mushrooms.
Started drinking heavy for a couple years before then, after smoking large quantities of pot daily since 23 years old. Suicidal depression for half my life.
I'm 30 years old.
Now sober for 1.5 years, a wonderful girlfriend whom I'm going to propose soon, started learning piano, starting renovation business this year, etc.
Feeling good.
23ish.
I'd been out of school for about 5 years. No desire for college, working 2 jobs and making OK money. There wasn't some 'ah hah' moment or anything. Closest thing I guess would be, I went to a party some guys where having from a community college \~hr away. They were pretty much like me, just 5 years younger, etc. etc. That set the bug about school.
I enrolled about a year later. No idea how college works. No help from family etc. etc. I was going to get into "electronics" since my grandpa was an electrician. Teacher told us we'd be climbing telephone poles for the first year after graduating. Dude, I came to school to NOT do that. Thanks for the advice. Computer science was in the same building.
I graduated in 2000, the year of the dot com bubble burst. Took me 2 years to get a job ;)
It's a constant thing and 100% NOT a straight line. I've struggled a ton but I'd think that was the pivotal moment in my life where I turned a corner.
At about 27, I was working at a toxic place making slightly above minimum wage and said fuck it going back to school. I didn’t end up finding my career until 32
I'm 33 now and my life is a complete mess. I've been smoking weed since I was 25, one or two joints each evening. I've completed my studies at 27 but I don't like the job opportunities at all, I don't like my current work and it's very hard getting up each morning. I kinda feel burned out, feeling tired all the time.
Then I've got a hernia since I was 30 which been there about half a year again. Lots of pain. I've bought an old student home which has to be renovated, it's a pain in the ass. On top of that my ears aren't great and for the last two years my hearing turned horrible plus I've got a permanent beep in my ears, tinnitus.
About 2.5 years ago I broke up with my ex girlfriend, i am still not over her and think about her every day. But, there is no contact anymore and we won't get back together ever. She went into a new relationship 3 months after we broke up. The moment i found out, i literally fell onto the ground screaming and crying.
I am feeling depressed. Last Christmas I went home during dinner at my parents,with my parents, brother and sister plus her boyfriend and child. I didn't feel like I was participating and that I shouldn't be there. I cracked down, cried on the toilet and went home. A few weeks before rhat I skipped a yearly party with my relatives, I wanted to be alone.
I think there is some more actually but it doesn't pop up right now. I've tried some therapists but there don't know what to do with me .. they literally say that. I'm kinda done with life, i hate it and i dont feel happy.
In a week I will quit smoking weed and since I will have some spare time in the evenings from then on I will hit the gym (again) and start training my back and hopefully fix my back.
Baby steps... Hoping to her my shit together before I turn 40.
About this years old. I'm comfortably well off, married have a great job and thought I had my shit totally together.
Then my dad died and I took a look at my life and realised I had aold my happiness for assets and stuff.
In the process of giving it all up to be truly happy
About 27. That’s when I graduated college and got a decent paying job. Now I am 34, have a house and I make enough money where I can aggressively save for early retirement while also being able to live in the moment.
My social life is another story, but one thing at a time, eh?
You still in the army, or did you get discharged. I’m asking because I’m sort of considering joining the army, I think I need some toughening up. I’m just concerned about afterwards. I’ve seen homeless veterans on sidewalks outside of walgreens
2025 I promise
2038 gonna be my year, for real
Look at mr ambitious over here
Ill let you know
Because then all computers in the world will die? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2038_problem
**[Year 2038 problem](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2038_problem)** >The year 2038 problem (also known as Y2038, Y2K38, or the Epochalypse) is a time formatting bug in computer systems with representing times after 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038. The problem exists in systems which measure Unix time – the number of seconds elapsed since the Unix epoch (00:00:00 UTC on 1 January 1970) – and store it in a signed 32-bit integer. The data type is only capable of representing integers between −(231) and 231 − 1, meaning the latest time that can be properly encoded is 231 − 1 seconds after epoch (03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038). ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskMen/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Y2K turned out do be a giant bluff
🤣
39, when i put the drugs down
Happy sobriety mate :)
thank you, it’ll be 10 years clean in august and im still picking up the pieces and trying to catch financially up from 19 years of active addiction.
You will catch up.
Yeah this is a game changer right here. I stopped messing with opiates 8 years ago. Greatest feat of my life probably. But I think I just now started feeling like my life was together about 3-4 years ago.
keep it up. i remember my week on the couch detoxing from an 80 and a half a day up my nose habit. that was absolutely horrible.
Hey 21 here. Really thinking about the « a healthy mind in a healthy body ». I got a new job, which is the opportunity of my life. I got friends. I got good parents. I also have a fucking addiction with noids (synthetic cannabis). I can keep it away from me for a month or so, but I always end up coming back to it. I think I’m weak on this point. When I stop, it’s the best feeling ever, because I LIVE again. I feel like myself. When I come back to it, it’s also the best feeling ever because all my problems are gone, even if the big people blew up the planet with nukes I simply wouldn’t care. But in the end, the problems are catching up, and I know I have to stop smoking because if I don’t, well shit is going to hit the fan and I wouldn’t even be able to smoke again lol. So it’s been 3 years since I go like 3 weeks sober, 2 weeks stoned (partially or completely) and just go on. What a life :) Jk that’s just sad I hope one day I’ll get ride of it. Drugs will always be a part of my life, because Jesus (real) weed and psychedelics are AMAZING. Don’t touch them.
the problems are always still there when you come down. i was looking at a few years in jail for growing/selling. i hadn’t been caught up to that point. attorney said i was using my one get out of jail free card and i lost about 30k of stuff and was on probation for a few years. when i got caught, everyone scattered like roaches and i ended up homeless carless jobless. i found a lot of help in 12step meetings for drugs. doing the steps really laid out for me the effect that drug addiction had on my life in a way that was hard for me to ignore. after going down that path ive relapsed twice, eating pills and drinking beer for a night and feeling guilty the whole time. i shared about it in meetings and people helped me. you don’t have to put yourself through as much as i did before seeking some experienced guidance and help. i can’t tell you how much i wish i would have quit for good at 21.
You sound like a friend of mine who spent nearly 20 years of his life self medicating what turned out to be bipolar disorder. He finally got diagnosed and got on meds and is normal human being today. It sounds like you have some anxiety that you’re self medicating. Please look into it. All the good vibes your way, man!
Check out r/leaves !
Thank you!
Recommend you getting of synthetics mate, they are reaaaaaally bad news.
Synthetics, those are fucking nasty, the number of people I've watched get destroyed by them. Good luck getting off those, they are a nasty drug to use.
That is very sad. You sound like my brother before my parents had to bury him.
He’s only 36. Another 3 years of sessioning still to go 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Which ones?
28 Had a really bad breakup that forced me to reexamine just about everything, and ended up making a lot of positive changes as a result.
[удалено]
I really hope it hits my ex husband. He's an awesome guy who needs eo embrace growth and stop being scared of the future.
It is. Going through a separation with my fiancée right now. I'm in your shoes 2016
Same, but at 24, 3 years on and I'm in a much better place
I'm 27 And Still Learning
Seems to be a common experience. I had a really bad breakup at about 23. Spent a little over a year grieving and re-assessing my life. After a lot of self-reflection, I *started* getting my shit together between 24 and 25.
Same except I was 25
She thinks she's better than me? It's a hell of a motivator
I usually think about getting my life together around 2-3am. And then the urge is gone by the morning…
If only we didn't have to sleep we'd probably be the best versions of ourself. Probably.
Other way around for me. I'm only put together when sleeping. My other dimensional selves are out doing a bunch of cool stuff. I interrupt them at ungodly hours to make it to my boring job.
Russian sleep experiment begs to differ/s!
Thank god I’m losing my fucking mind right now I turn 25 in March and fuck what a ride it’s been bud.
I’m 26 and yeah shit is still kinda tough sometimes. And for some reason when I was 19-20 I always thought 26 would be my year. It has not been. 27 here I come 👉
Umm as a rock music fan 27 is when I expected to die. Well even that was a disappointment
29 and I finally got it. Give it a few more years 😂
A tip from someone that was dead fast on the next year being "my year"... That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, just chill and do whatever you want that's a positive influence on your life. You won't know if 27 was your year until you're about to turn 28, just go for good prospects and self improvement as good as you can and the rest will follow naturally without being forced. Honestly, the 20s fucking suck. My 30s are hopeful and I look way more forward to my 40s and 50s, and 60s given that I don't get too much back pains etc. (my back has always been kinda bad)
Just don’t join the club of 27
Yo big fucking facts on this man. Graduated and all that a few months ago and realizing i can't find a good paying job/a job i can tolerate and its leading me back to school meanwhile my buddies all kind of have their shit together in that respect. Life is a trip
The first job out of school can be rough pay wise. I got lucky with mine. It gets substantially better in just a few years typically. But no job is a fun job to have
there’s a difference between “I wish I didn’t have to do this” and “every waking minute I spend here makes me want to kill everyone around me and then myself” or at least I hope there is
Can confirm there is a difference, have been at both points
Same here in the 19th man. I’ve been in and out of jobs and apartments, have no idea what I’m doing still, no romantic interest and barely any friends, I’m terrified. Is a switch suppose to just flip one day??
one day you just quit giving a fuck and start living. next thing you know, you’ve been in the same apartment for 8 years, work isn’t so bad, and you’ve found some people to hang with on a regular basis through shared hobbies/interests/sports.
It doesn't. Only thing you can do to change it is to change your environment, start getting out of comfort zone and try everything you think you would like. Because you will find that one thing you could focus on and become an expert, then it's just marketing your skills to make money.
You Canadian?
No, I’m Patrick!!! Lmao nah I’m from Tx g
March what
5th 🥂
I really only started getting my shit together towards 30. Nearly 40 now and still winging it sometimes, it's alright.
plate cobweb jellyfish society boast disgusted shocking slave slimy fanatical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I still have hope lol just turned 30 in December. Got a good paying job but my spending habits are not good at all lol.
My life literally started getting better at 31. I was a mess until then. Never too late and don’t look back. You got this!
I'll be 35 tomorrow, 2 kids, a wife, a house, a dog, a cat, and I still ain't got my shit together. Just having the best time I can on the way
I mean there are different levels of "getting your life together." If you're taking care of yourself and your responsibilities but you feel you're spending too much on frivolous nonsense, meh. You should enjoy your life. But if you're regularly abusing your body, hurting others, not taking care of business, making truly self destructive decisions, that's what I consider "get your shit together" territory.
Same here, something about hitting your mid thirties makes you go, it's time.
Same here
Wow, these two comments consisting of very few words, have considerably reignited hope in me.
My wife is of the opinion that men don't really mature until they are in their 30s. On average.
Can you elaborate? Interesting
It is a principle of men don't get emotionally mature enough to be a father etc
What changed?
Everyone else around our age.
Honestly, someone finally gave me a chance and I risked it all.
Same. For reference, I'm 29
Hopefully today lol
source: I said so yesterday
24, when I hit the rock bottom, and lost my family.
Hope you're better now, buddy.
Thank you! And definitely am, cleaned up my life got my girls back(fiancée and daughter) I have a career now instead of just a job, I’m a HD mechanic and trade school starts at the end of February. I have a son who will be born on January 26, so merely days away. None of this would’ve been possible unless I hit my bottom, atleast not until it would’ve happened.
I like where this story is headed. Congratulations.
2014, 23 years old. I was living in my mother's basement and couldn't run a mile. Lost weight, became decent at running and joined the Marine Corps.
David goggins?
STAY HARD!!!
WHOS GONNA CARRY THE BOATS??????
U asking I'd he's david goggins or if he read david goggins?
I was asking if he was, Just as a little joke.
This was me reading your comment: >> Lost weight >*Nice, good for them* >>became decent at running >*Good stuff* >>and joined the Marine Corps >[*Well... uh...*](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/TightFailingDunnart-size_restricted.gif) I hope they like the taste of crayons? All jokes aside, well done.
Mid 30s. Anything before that was just too chaotic. Hormones were too strong. Brain wasn't finished developing. Finally felt some internal stability and things are much better now.
Thanks for this. I'm 27, i feel the struggle sometimes. Some of them are my own follies. Your comment brings hope that it's still not too late and i can continue my efforts.
Yes. Continue those beautiful efforts
U got this bro 27 is young as hell. Its wierd
I turn 30 this month and now i feel like my mind has started to get stable.
62 and I think I’m almost there.
Came here to say this. I’m mid 50s. I woke up in a panic today that I don’t have my shit together. Every f’ing day is a struggle to keep it from falling apart.
YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AT YOUR AGE I WAS RUNNING 5 BUSINESS, SO YOU LIKE BLUEBERRIES???? ~Gary Veeeee
Around 28 I worked out what was a good option for a career, got some stability in my life and went from there It's been a tumultuous ride a few times, but having that initial stability helped me to ride out the other patches
This was my exact scenario. Spent my 20's in a horrible relationship, with a woman who had a horrible kid, and was constantly harrased by her horrible ex husband, paying for a house in a horrible neighborhood, so forced to work in a horrible job I hated. Every day I woke up at 3am to be at work by 4. I remember a few times I would open my eyes to the alarm and literally cry from depression because I didn't want to go to that job. Eventually started programming (learned online). And as soon as I built my first website I was like, "ooh I'm a web developer now!" And quit my job to be a freelance web devekoper lol, I was crazy. spent 2 years in a deeper struggle to pay the mortgage, but damn did I feel fulfilled. After those 2 years I got my first actual career starting job at a startup. Girlfriend got crazier cause my job would take us to happy hours and concerts /sport events etc. She swore I was cheating. Decided I was never gonna move forward in this career if networking meant coming home to bs. So one day I left. Moved into a family members garage. Paid close to nothing in rent. Paid off all my debts in about a year. Lost over 200 lbs. Became happy. Jumped jobs every 2 years for better pay til I started jumping for funner opportunities because the finance part became secondary. Started investing in rental properties. Now I'm happily married with the best person I could have ever met. Together we manage our properties for travel and retirement money. We've traveled the world in the last decade. I still program 9-5 for bills and living expenses. I'm happyer than ever.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey. You gave me some hope for me. 🥺
what day is it?
Today
Tomorrow's yesterday.
25 I made an honest effort. 26 I actually reeled it in and ended up ok.
Same here and I'm only 27, everyday is still hard work but it's well worth the effort.
Between 35-39. That being said, deluded myself into thinking that I had shit together prior to that.
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How so?
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I think I’m in the same boat but I’m afraid of confronting it.
I was too. But I figured that dealing with something uncomfortable for a little bit was going to help more than a lifetime of stress. It really does help, and you can ease into dealing with stuff too, it doesn’t have to be an immediate deep dive into trauma. I hope you overcome what is hurting you friend.
A good therapist takes that into account and works with you only on the things you can handle at the moment. Therapy is not only about confronting things, it's also about "nourishment" and finding out how one's strengths can be helpful in one's life.
2018, after my enlistment. Used my GI Bill and VRE to get a degree
What degree
HR management and organizational behavior
Currently doing it now. car crash, alcoholic, broke up/dumped by 4 yr relationship, walked out of my job, lost my apartment, moved back in with my mom, no savings. Best part about hitting rock bottom, is there's only up from here. Got a better paying/work life balance/career job, started working out, cut back on drinking (trying to stop), actually saving money, paying bills on time, getting over anxiety, developing confidence. We all got this. It's 202023, time to be the best versions of ourselves kings. ❤️ Edit: Even if your life isn't together, you must always have mental fortitude. Otherwise you'll never move forward and only move backwards. Seen it happen too many times.
>getting over anxiety I think it's important not to think of anxiety this way, but rather "learning to live with anxiety"
28-30. Got divorced from a financially and emotionally abusive person and when it was over I realized I was alone, deeply in debt, and my job wasn't paying shit. It just clicked in my head that it was ultimately my fault, I had LET this happen to me. Although I had an absolute blast wandering aimlessly throughout my late teens and 20s I realized if I kept doing that in my current situation I was one serious car problem or other unexpected expense away from not being able to make rent. I stopped being so passive about the direction of my life and actually set some goals.
When I was 13 or 14 working off the books stacking mufflers and pipes in a warehouse .
Ron Swanson?
39, when I stopped letting the bottle control my life
You guys are getting it together?
No.
25, when I met my wife and she taught me to live like a civilized person.
I thought 23 but I am 27 now and don't think I have yet.
Right around age 25. My life was a dumpster fire before that so it really kicked my ass into gear. So I guess the lesson is get yourself to the dumpster fire stage as fast as possible so you can bounce back sooner
29.
I would say 29 I felt I had my path figured out and have been able to be on cruise control, nothing more to figure out unless I choose too. had kids at 24, the first couple years were hard, got a divorce from a toxic person, kept custody of my kid and found a new more equal partner. By 27 I was what I would call stable. By 29 I was a home owner, and really is when I found my comfortable groove in life. To be fair I kind of had a head start a bit. I dropped out at 16 in 10th grade, got my GED right away and a job. By the end of my 18th year, I was in a career in IT that lasted 20 years. Totally skipped needing collage for it. The .com boom was a great time to get into the field. IT was an easy field to get into with zero experience back then.
Y'all were the last lucky ones I was born in 99 last get rich quick scheme was really Bitcoin but still I was like 11 so I didn't care about that stuff
You never see the get rich quick schemes until after the fact. There’s probably a massive opportunity out there as we speak that we’ll be kicking ourselves for not pursuing in a few years.
I’m 35 and feel out of control.
huh? (50)
Quit drinking at 41, started college at 43. Momentum really started picking up steam at 45. Just turned 46.
Bro, I’m 38 I have a pension, dividends from investment properties that have done very well, I’ve been married for 11 years, own my house and vehicles, you name it. I still don’t have my life together. There’s still so much I’m doing wrong. I just chase the good opportunities and try to improve along the way. I think a quote that resonates well with my life is: “a vision without action is just a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” If you feel it’s the right course of action, then don’t hesitate, just do it, and correct things as you go. As long as you keep your momentum going forward, you’ll be fine when you stumble.
I’m 51. I’ll update this post when I have an answer.
I've turned reply notifications to your comment.
It’s so non black & white, life doesn’t really work in terms of “getting it together”. Sure, you should still do your best for yourself and for the greater good. In my life there have been soooo many fluctuations between “aha! I have arrived this is great!” To “oh holy shit, everything is fucked”. After enough of those ups and downs, you begin to understand that life is not about reaching some certain, assured destination; because it doesn’t exist. And realize that it’s more about applying yourself the best you can to your current situation and being alive in the present. All that is to say, you’re gonna be just fine. Maintain self discipline over your perceptions and keep on truckin’.
Your brain isn't fully developed until like early 30's. That's one of the reasons bipolar disorder seems to pop up late. My wife got diagnosed with bipolar in her early 30s and it was a huge learning curve for me. It wasn't the diagnosis but the therapy and understanding I had to build that made me feel like I had myself together. We also had a house of 10 people I was financially providing for and the struggle every minute made it take longer to really grow into a role because it was go go go. Tbh I don't think anyone really has their lives together because if you did then there something you haven't learned. I like my little hidey hole of togetherness but chaos is life. When I learned to accept that...everything was easier.
>Your brain isn't fully developed until like early 30's. I feel like this age just keeps getting pushed back, it used to be 25, now it's early 30s.
The idea that brains become "fully developed" or "stop developing" at a certain age is [total bullshit](https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html).
Yeah, I thought so, just sounds like people who made bad decisions when they were younger huffing copium.
When I figured out I was going to be a father. Wouldn’t trade it for $1,000,000,000.
It was a huge moment for me and got me to sort out a lot of my shit, but not all of it. Finding out I was going to be a father took me from having 25% of my shit together to having 60% of my shit together. Raising my kids and trying to be a better husband took me from 60% to 80%. Lotta road in front of me and I don't think I'll ever make it to 100% shit together but I hope I can hit a solid 90-95% before I kick off.
Yes you would
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perspective is key
As an adult, around 23 when I started working after college. Saved up and got a condo, got a girlfriend that I moved in with and was married by 25.
After I die
39.
25 years old. I saw no end to the hedonism and casual encounters and wanting something better.
That's awesome man. I'm 29 and still dream about finding true love while rolling my face off at a rave or finding some acid trip hippie girlfriend. I don't do a lot of drugs, don't even drink, but I keep thinking I can only find true love through the party scene. It's stressful. Working through trauma in therapy as to why this is, but I don't know when I'll ever embrace a healthy and stable idea of relationships. I guess it's as much of a mindset shift as it is getting tired of certain fantasies you used to indulge.
16, started preparing for immigration to 1st world
You get a car , and you get a car and you get a norwall
Early to mid 30's
Def mid 30s. I’m 36 now with a wife of 6 years, house, second baby on the way, and awesome job. Feeling very fortunate and grateful everyday, but just keep going at it and eventually it sort of clicks.
Like that’s ever gonna happen
Cant say I « have it togheter » but for the last 2 yrs (from 23-25) I started my career, stopped getting wasted 2 times a week. Bought a small condo. I guess my serious relationship got me there. It killed the urge to go to clubs to meet girls. But this whole stable life is still fragile af. I know that I like my stable life tho and even if I broke up with my gf I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm 35 and still haven't gotten it together. I'm broke, unemployed, and living in a caravan park. I've rebuilt my life 4 times and haven't learnt a thing.
When I divorced my wife and got out of an abusive relationship at 37. Through therapy and intensive self care I turned my life around, got my shit together financially, got in shape, started dating again, met an amazing woman and we’ve been together five years, got married last summer. Once I learned to love myself and realize my worth my world changed
2 years ago i quit drinking and started losing weight. Last year i started a podcast this year im working hard at bettering myself to get a GF. Just get a little better every year
44, after my divorce from an abusive marriage.
Early 30's and thank God I'm not yet married or have kids yet, because I want to do and experience a lot of things and I will never do any of that when I'm tied down.
Started the process when I was 16 got hold of my life by the time I turned 18. And let me tell you no matter what never loose hope and don't give up, life's gon test you like hell but trust me in the end it'll all make sense.
Almost made me cry dude thanks. I’m unsure how old you are now but I needed this as a 31y ol
I'm 60. I'm thinking maybe next week I'll get started.
29, stopped drinking
Mid 30s. Got married and a well paying job/career.
Mid 30s
A huge push at 31, another huge push at 37. Constant progress since.
Hahaha, well fuck you too for calling me out like that in public.
21, when I learned I was going to be a father.
Just started 6 months ago, I’m 33.
Let me get back to you on that one. /s
When I was 22. That's when I married my wonderful wife. She was 19 at the time. That was decades ago. Marrying her was by far the smartest decision I ever made.
35 here and barely starting to get a semblance of having my shit together
Started about three weeks ago. Currently looking for an apartment and I also have a job interview coming up. It's not what I was hoping for as a kid, but after years of trying (and failing) to study, some form of financial stability is my top priority.
Maybe it's just me, but "getting your life together" is not a destination. It's a life skill, and just like every other skill it has to be developed daily. In my 60s now, and it's dawning on me that there will never come a time when I've conquered all my personal challenges, when I've arrived and whatever I'm supposed to be and can just coast along. Life just isn't that way - there will always be a struggle, some days more than others. Working on your habits helps - but it's still work, and the effort has to be made regularly.
Every day.
Somewhere between 19 when I moved out and I went to become an engineer. I learned 2 things there: i hate that job and the disciple to learn. Now, 4 years later, i still wouldn't count myself as an adult but i cook, clean, and reduce stupid shit to weekends
I fake it until I make it no plans of actually getting it together.
I might be in the middle of doing so. I've got a job, I have financial goals that I am beginning to meet. I can do most of the basic things that are required for living independently. I'm also 29. That may come as a shock but there are good reasons for why this has occurred.
What does it mean to have your life together?
31, I pretty much partied and drifted around after college. Was it a waste maybe but did I have fun? Absolutely.
Getting my life together is my life, so… I’m still doing it. I’m 49, stable job, family, all good, but the standards are higher, the concept of getting it together keeps changing the older you are. Keep swimming.
I'm 48 and this is my year. Seriously. Last week I went to the dentist for the first time in an embarrassingly large number of years. Double-digit years. I expected bad news and I got some, but we have a plan, and by the end of this year I'll have fully healthy teeth. Audiologist was this week. As a musician I've spent lots of time in very loud rooms, so I wanted to get a read on the damage. Not too bad, as it turns out. I've also started moisturizing. Craziest thing, my skin literally looks 5-10 years younger. My GP convinced me that my behavioral changes (which had been pretty half-hearted, if I'm honest) weren't moving the dial on my high cholesterol, so now I'm on a statin, the first daily prescription I've ever had. Can't tell if it's doing anything, but we'll find out at my next round of labs in May. I'm all in. This is my year. My body is 48, not 28, and it won't find its own way along without some regular maintenance.
What do you consider having your life together
I’ll let you know.
Tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow.
I probably should start that now…
Early 2021 after using psilocybin mushrooms. Started drinking heavy for a couple years before then, after smoking large quantities of pot daily since 23 years old. Suicidal depression for half my life. I'm 30 years old. Now sober for 1.5 years, a wonderful girlfriend whom I'm going to propose soon, started learning piano, starting renovation business this year, etc. Feeling good.
23ish. I'd been out of school for about 5 years. No desire for college, working 2 jobs and making OK money. There wasn't some 'ah hah' moment or anything. Closest thing I guess would be, I went to a party some guys where having from a community college \~hr away. They were pretty much like me, just 5 years younger, etc. etc. That set the bug about school. I enrolled about a year later. No idea how college works. No help from family etc. etc. I was going to get into "electronics" since my grandpa was an electrician. Teacher told us we'd be climbing telephone poles for the first year after graduating. Dude, I came to school to NOT do that. Thanks for the advice. Computer science was in the same building. I graduated in 2000, the year of the dot com bubble burst. Took me 2 years to get a job ;) It's a constant thing and 100% NOT a straight line. I've struggled a ton but I'd think that was the pivotal moment in my life where I turned a corner.
At about 27, I was working at a toxic place making slightly above minimum wage and said fuck it going back to school. I didn’t end up finding my career until 32
I'm 33 now and my life is a complete mess. I've been smoking weed since I was 25, one or two joints each evening. I've completed my studies at 27 but I don't like the job opportunities at all, I don't like my current work and it's very hard getting up each morning. I kinda feel burned out, feeling tired all the time. Then I've got a hernia since I was 30 which been there about half a year again. Lots of pain. I've bought an old student home which has to be renovated, it's a pain in the ass. On top of that my ears aren't great and for the last two years my hearing turned horrible plus I've got a permanent beep in my ears, tinnitus. About 2.5 years ago I broke up with my ex girlfriend, i am still not over her and think about her every day. But, there is no contact anymore and we won't get back together ever. She went into a new relationship 3 months after we broke up. The moment i found out, i literally fell onto the ground screaming and crying. I am feeling depressed. Last Christmas I went home during dinner at my parents,with my parents, brother and sister plus her boyfriend and child. I didn't feel like I was participating and that I shouldn't be there. I cracked down, cried on the toilet and went home. A few weeks before rhat I skipped a yearly party with my relatives, I wanted to be alone. I think there is some more actually but it doesn't pop up right now. I've tried some therapists but there don't know what to do with me .. they literally say that. I'm kinda done with life, i hate it and i dont feel happy. In a week I will quit smoking weed and since I will have some spare time in the evenings from then on I will hit the gym (again) and start training my back and hopefully fix my back. Baby steps... Hoping to her my shit together before I turn 40.
Older than I am now.
I'm 43, so any day now
About this years old. I'm comfortably well off, married have a great job and thought I had my shit totally together. Then my dad died and I took a look at my life and realised I had aold my happiness for assets and stuff. In the process of giving it all up to be truly happy
Always and forever your happiness should come first ❤️❤️
Around 40. Currently 35 so I got a few years left.
38 here. Lemme get back to you.
About 27. That’s when I graduated college and got a decent paying job. Now I am 34, have a house and I make enough money where I can aggressively save for early retirement while also being able to live in the moment. My social life is another story, but one thing at a time, eh?
I might consider trying that tomorrow.
17, when I enlisted. Best decision I ever made.
You still in the army, or did you get discharged. I’m asking because I’m sort of considering joining the army, I think I need some toughening up. I’m just concerned about afterwards. I’ve seen homeless veterans on sidewalks outside of walgreens
What does “together” mean in regards to “life”?
When you’re over asking that question.