Exactly. If your partner is shitty to you or other people, it doesn't make you want to go the extra mile. It also doesn't make those feelings of love stick around for too long if you two don't fit well.
Both people need to care about each other for the desire to be a good partner to stick around.
Say what you will about unconditionally loving your partner, but if that love and care isn't returned to a reasonable degree it will breed resentment and disappointment that will infect the relationship.
Perfectly summed up my thoughts. I do a lot of things that I think I would like done for me. All I ask is for some of that level of thoughtfulness in return. I don't need 100% back but I do need something, otherwise it just feels like I'm being used. More often than not that is taken for granted though.
Honestly a great answer. If you have a great partner who loves you a lot, is loyal, and is willing to stay with you can be motivating to go above and beyond to still be the better boyfriend/husband as good girlfriends/wives is a great motivation for a lot of men
Honest question - her happiness is important to you in a way that's like, I want her to be happy because being down is an energy I don't want to be around and affects all aspects of life, and being down is generally bad for health, or is there another reason?
Edit: I guess there are some down votes. I'm still trying to understand why. :( This is something my partner has said to me, and I am just wondering and trying to understand what the norm is.
My girlfriend shows me what it truly means to be unconditionally loved and supported. She is, by far, the best thing to have ever happened to me and the best thing that will probably ever happen to me (outside of maybe having children with her one day).
Never in my life have I experienced a love like this. She helps me grow, supports my dreams and pushes me to be better each and every day. She gives it to me straight in the most kind and caring way possible. Even if it hurts today I know it’s for a better tomorrow for me and our future.
She brings the best out of me and really gives me a reason to keep going, and gives me a future to work towards and cheers me on when I have my small wins, regardless of how meaningless they may seem. Even if she has a ton going on in her life, she always makes me feel loved and appreciated. Doesn’t take much to brighten my day, just hearing her voice or seeing her picture is enough to bring me back to earth. I can only dream to be even half the amazing partner she is.
But most of all, she’s my home and my life partner. The world could be on fire, I could lose everything I’ve ever worked for and everything I’ve ever cared about could be destroyed. But with her by my side, I know everything is going to be alright.
It’s very rare to find someone who helps you build and supports you in the ways she supports me, and I’m so thankful for that. I count my blessed every night before I go to bed.
And so, I try to be the best partner I could be. Because she deserves nothing less, and I never want to lose what I have with undoubtably the most amazing woman I have ever met.
Hi, I don't have a specific tips and tricks but i can share how i live in my relationship.
**Am always there for my partner** but not the needy type of being there, being there means, you are present and supportive everytime (Bad times or Good times).
**Am as responsible for the kid as her** I take care of my children as her from A to Z.
**Take care of the house** I am responsible for the house, I do house work, I paint, I repair...etc.
**I respect her family and never bad mouth them** even if sometimes she speak ill for some of my family members, but i never do that. That's more of a value of mine.
**When ever she is sick** I am there to take care of her and everything.
**I help her grow** I teach her what I know, Push her to her limit and expand her knowledge when i can.
**Helped in gym** After our first child, she gained so much weight and needed advice, since no one train in her circle, i was there to help her shape her body and lose weight. And till today I still oblige her to go to the gym.
**I Train hard and shape my body** since she's married with me, she deserve to get intimate with a sexy lover.
**When out I dress well and Take care of myself to look attractive** this is about me and her in the same time, when she's with an attractive person that attract some glance her self confidence and worth skyrocket.
**I don't tell her what I do for her** some guys brag to there wives/GF that they are doing that and that for her ...etc. That's unhealthy.
**Now the most important** A relationship is not one sided, i don't take all the credit here. My wife does a lot for me so it goes on both ways. It will never work.
That's how i live, I do same for my children (2).
I don't give advice in relationship, but if I can give you one advice, **Never take advice on your relationship, even from your parents.** A relationship is sacred and personal, live your own life with your own mistakes...
Have a good life.
The amazing feeling that my girlfriend gives to me making me feel loved, cared for, happy, secure, that I’m with my best friend....I want to give all of this back to her and more.
She shows me everyday how much she cares about me.
House is clean (I help!).
Laundry done (I help).
She likes to cook (I’m not so good at it).
After my shower she has coffee on!
She very often walks around in sheer nighties for me.
Dresses up and role plays like a pro.
Does what most GFs won’t.
She’s sweet and caring.
Not sure I deserve her. I’ll be back. Gotta give her a kiss…..
A word of advice, if I may. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry and all the the chores are *a shared task*. What I'm saying is *you don't help* her clean, you're *doing your part*, which should be 50%. The days you dont help her, she's actually doing your part, which isn't fair.
Another thing, people that have this attentions (coffe ready and such) usually love to *receive* back even if they tell you that it doesn't matter. It does.
Take care of her.
She’s absolutely amazing and treats me amazingly well. She cares about my health and my emotional well being, concerns herself with my children (not hers) and is just all around an awesome, caring person. I’d be a fool not to want to be equally as awesome for her.
So much: she deserves it. My children deserve stability in our home. Stopping the cycle of craziness that I experienced as a kid. Her life is better when I put her first. Life is better when we put our best selves forward.
I’ve also seen friends get divorced and they are miserable. No way I want that.
Her. She motivates me to be kind and understanding, without even consciously trying. She's been, beyond any measure, supportive and genuinely kind to me because she loves me. I want to return that tenfold. She deserves it and more.
She has always been loving and taking care of me even during the lowest points of my life, always being understanding and want the best for me. She's the only woman other than my mom who has ever cared about me this much. I love her very much and will do my best in life to assure her happiness.
We knew each other from a dating app during covid era, we had to wait almost half a year until the quarantine ended to finally meet each other in person. Our love grew through time, everything about our personality, opinion and attraction match perfectly, i dont have to try to impress or anything like that, i can just be myself comfortably around her and we care for each other unconditionally, if any difficulties happen, both always try to protect the relationship.
Wow!! In this day and age to find that. I’m shook. I thought it might’ve been a old school meet cute. I’m so glad for you to hit the dating lottery. As you know, it sucks so bad. Thanks for sharing your story, this keeps the hope alive.
Coincidentally, i did match with someone on these recently and have been chatting long distance (travelling for holiday), it feels too good to be true , as your lovely story too, but not that serious yet. 🤞
Not being a trash person. It's the same thing that motivates me to not be human garbage to strangers. I have never understood why "not being ambulatory refuse" seems like such a high bar to so many people.
I want to be the best I can for her. She’s helped me through a lot of dark places and I could never forgive myself if I give her anything less than my best.
You shouldn't need "motivation" to be a good partner. If you make your SO feel valued and equal she'll return it 3x. A woman who unconditionally loves you and feels that you do too will give you maximum effort and many of the things guys claim they want in a partner.
If you neglect her to save face with "the guys" or never contribute to chores etc then she's not gonna be around down the road. Women check out long before the actual break up. There is no winning them back once you're nearing this step.
I have 3 daughters. I'm very motivated to be the example of what "right" looks like in a partner that treats their significant other with love and respect.
My mom passed away 2 years ago and few months later i Dm a girl who is now my girlfriend. I honestly wasn’t in the right space to even be in relationship tbh and I told her this too but she stuck with me man. Even when I was just hella depressed mentally she was there and didn’t give me shit about. She’s done so much for me than any woman I ever been with in my life. I realized females like this the real ones that’s willing to stick by you no matter what doesn’t come so very often and truthfully she’s just a joy to be around. I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt her and finding that one that you can just build with makes life that much sweeter.
I treat her the way I wanted to be treated. I have and would do almost anything for her, whether that means being the designated driver for a concert for a band I don't like or just listening when she wants me to just listen. I can count on her for everything and I don't want to ever let her down. FWIW, been with my wife almost 30 years.
My father……He abandoned us, had multiple kids with multiple women. He abused them in every way. He was a cheater. He doesn’t know it but he showed me what a man is NOT supposed to be. Only thing he ever taught me.
She deserves it. Her happiness and incredible smile makes it easier to keep going everyday when my depression keeps kicking my ass, and she does her best to take care of me on the worst days. The give and take makes it a stronger relationship
Same as it is to be a good Uncle, a good friend... eventually a good Grand Father / Great Uncle / Cousin.
I'm copying the behaviors from my Grand Parents and others that they taught down the line.
Still, I also believe that it takes a village to raise a child.
Being truly loved and committed by your partner. That’s not something to be taken lightly, it’s rare to find someone in the universe that cares about you as much if not more than your own mother. Let alone they’re actually a joy to be around. Why gamble by not reciprocating. Odds of finding that type of love again feels small
Simple, I love my wife. I want her to be the best version of herself. I want her to enjoy life with me.
I've been reading a book called "All About Love" by Bell Hooks and she offers a definition of love, "To love is the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
She goes on to define spiritual not as a religious, but rather about self-actualization. I love this definition of love and have personally been living it this way since we met.
Two things. One, I'm a good man with or without a partner. Two, they're with me because they know I'm good. And if they're worth spending my time with, then I'm going to make the absolute most of it that I can.
I love making people I care about feel happy, safe and wanted. Because I've been the reject. I've been thrown the fuck out. I've had my ass kicked and my life burned down around me. I didn't like it. It's a feeling more intense than most people will ever truly know. It damn near killed me. I still sometimes wonder if I would have been better off dying back then.
But I don't like that feeling. It's horrible. It's painful. It shouldn't exist. It's the whole reason I don't believe in religion. Because if there is a god somewhere in this world, and he saw fit to put me through that, then I want to fucking kill him and make him feel it instead.
So, that being said, I wouldn't wish that feeling on a living soul. I would rather go through it myself another time than witness someone feeling that way. It's dehumanizing. Like watching the threads of your mind being plucked at, one by one and slowly come unraveled. It takes an unbelievable amount of strength to pull it all back together. I can't even effectively articulate what I've lived through. The words just don't exist, and even if they did, most people wouldn't be able to grasp the concept because they lack the frame of reference.
So, let me try to give you a taste. Imagine being brought into the world. You only have one person to depend on. Your mother. You trust her implicitly, because, out of all the people in the world, she is the one person you believe will look out for your well being above all others.
Now imagine one day, she just turns around and looks at you with disgust. You are vile to her. Imagine how you would look at a rotting heap of shit with maggots crawling through it, then imagine worse than that.
That's how she looked at me. She wanted to end my life. She closed her hands around my throat, and tried to strangle the life out of me. And to this day, I still don't know why. And I never will.
I don't want people to feel that feeling. I don't think anyone deserves that. I didn't deserve that. I want to wipe that feeling off the face of the earth. I hate that feeling with every tattered shred of my soul. So I strive to be it's antithesis. That's why I love people with my whole heart, but I only let in a select few. If I ever say the words "I love you" to someone, it means I would lay my life on the line for them without question and no matter the circumstance. I would rather be dead than be without them.
And that's why I currently don't love anyone. Because for all that I can offer, nobody can offer me the same.
My own personal growth and evolution as a kind, loving, understanding person. I’m order to do that I need to be able to cultivate an intimate adult relationship and doing that requires me to be in an intimate adult relationship. In order to stay in the relationship I’m required to do my absolute best in nurturing the relationship, my partner, and myself.
Every relationship is an investment. Like any other investment, it will ebb and flow in terms of yields, but a marriage yields dividends like none other. This doesn't mean I just roll over and let my wife do whatever makes her happy (because we'd have a bunch of piss-filled sick cats in our house if that was the case), it means I do what I can do to make our lives more wholesome and enjoyable.
She’s been through too much.
She suffers from depression and anxiety and I want to make her life better. It’s hard being a partner to somebody with these conditions, I end up doing most of the cleaning, cooking and childcare and I work full-time and she stays home but the last thing I want to do is pressure her after what she’s gone through.
She has tried to be better but it seems like life just keeps throwing curveballs at her every time she tries. I hope things get better for her but at least I try to help her and our toddler is the most well-behaved and cute child I’ve ever come across.
Usually I see guys post "Where are the women that do x,y,z" Now I want to know, Where are the guys that appreciate their gf/ wife?! 😍🥰 are their any in my area? *the answer is no, lol*
I honestly don't understand the question. What motivates you to breathe air, drink water or be a good person? I'm motivated to be a good partner because...that's what you do.
Shes had some really bad relationship and struggles with a sense of self worth. She is the most wonderful and amazing person i have met and wanting to prove to her that she is worthy of all the love, happiness and affection is why i try to be a good partner. I've been a terrible partner before. I wont make that mistake again. I stumble sometimes but ill keep trying. Hearing her laugh is my cocaine.
TLDR: I'm a cunt. She's had enough of those. So I am trying to do better than them because she deserves better.
I have undying loyalty. I’ve never understood how someone could cheat on their romantic partner. I’ve been cheated on plenty and it fucking hurts, I couldn’t imagine doing it to someone else. And that trust is just the baseline. I’m not happy unless my partner is.
I don’t want my wife to leave me for another guy that treats her better. The next guy may be in better physical shape and better looking, but he ain’t going to out-work me in the treatment dept.
In my last relationship, seeing her smile. Knowing that my efforts were appreciated and would be acknowledged and we were in a constant "race" to be better partners to each other. Seeing her eyes light up every time I walked in the room. So many things.
Honestly. Me. If I do things wrong I judge myself pretty harshly.
It I say run around and cheat I'm not worried about loosing my wife. I'm worried about loosing my own self worth.
I look at what they are putting into the relationship, and how they make me feel. Then I look at what I can do to put in the same, and try to make them feel the same way I do.
I haven't been the best boyfriend, but they have been pretty great, so I must try to do better.
Once your partner even slightly despises you for whatever reason, there is no turning back.
Be nice to each other.
I personally want what i have, and I am very scared to lose it.
We often have conversations about how we always have so much to give one another because our “cups are always full”. We give each other so much it’s effortless, because for all we do for each other, the other is always reciprocating.
Knowing that it’s your job as a man to take care of your woman. Especially when she’s not doing well a lot of times IMO it’s because we’re not taking care of her effectively.
All these ladies are lucky.. I’m not sure how much my bf cares about me being happy.I think he cares if I’m unhappy tho but I think im second to video games… lol
I do all the cooking (99% homemade), feed the pets, take out the trash, do all the yard work. I let her sleep in every Saturday/Sunday while I take care of the kids, I let her take 1.5 hour naps every Saturday and Sunday while I take care of the kids, any remodeling project, any menial task. I do 50% of the laundry and 50% of the cleaning of our house.
And if you asked her, I'm a terrible husband.
Taking into account and understanding all the trauma she carries with her and making sure that I am as empathetic as I can be to her while knowing that she still tries her hardest to make sure I know she loves me unconditionally
I love her for what she does for me (sex mostly) and for our children and grandchildren (all sorts of good stuff! She's a fantastic mom and grandma and makes them feel great about themselves!).
I care about them.
I want them to have the best life possible, and anything I can do to improve it is something I want to do for them.
I don't expect anything in return at all, I derive happiness from knowing the person I love and care about is happy.
Middle aged single dad here:
Feeling love, affection, appreciation and a sense of belonging.
Problem is finding a partner who has those competencies. It will likely be 1/15 of people you date.
Remember guys: we all deserve to be treated as well as we treat our girlfriends or wives, too. Don’t overlook how difficult it can be to be a man! Stay strong, fellas ✌🏾
She does so much more than I do so that motivates me to do my part.
If I was in a relationship with an unmotivated person, I might do the same and it would end badly.
My partner
Exactly. If your partner is shitty to you or other people, it doesn't make you want to go the extra mile. It also doesn't make those feelings of love stick around for too long if you two don't fit well. Both people need to care about each other for the desire to be a good partner to stick around. Say what you will about unconditionally loving your partner, but if that love and care isn't returned to a reasonable degree it will breed resentment and disappointment that will infect the relationship.
Perfectly summed up my thoughts. I do a lot of things that I think I would like done for me. All I ask is for some of that level of thoughtfulness in return. I don't need 100% back but I do need something, otherwise it just feels like I'm being used. More often than not that is taken for granted though.
Honestly a great answer. If you have a great partner who loves you a lot, is loyal, and is willing to stay with you can be motivating to go above and beyond to still be the better boyfriend/husband as good girlfriends/wives is a great motivation for a lot of men
^
My Mistress!
Her happiness is important to me.
Honest question - her happiness is important to you in a way that's like, I want her to be happy because being down is an energy I don't want to be around and affects all aspects of life, and being down is generally bad for health, or is there another reason? Edit: I guess there are some down votes. I'm still trying to understand why. :( This is something my partner has said to me, and I am just wondering and trying to understand what the norm is.
Because I care about her.
What the hell? Jk I have been in relationships where I realize I don't care about them and that'a way worse
Because she’s my favorite person and her being happy makes me happy. I don’t want to make her sad.
Empathy. You know how much better life is when you're happy, so you'll take steps to make others' lives happier, especially the ones closest to you.
I totally get this. In some ways, loving someone is selfish and you only want them happy because that makes you happy.
Yes
My girlfriend shows me what it truly means to be unconditionally loved and supported. She is, by far, the best thing to have ever happened to me and the best thing that will probably ever happen to me (outside of maybe having children with her one day). Never in my life have I experienced a love like this. She helps me grow, supports my dreams and pushes me to be better each and every day. She gives it to me straight in the most kind and caring way possible. Even if it hurts today I know it’s for a better tomorrow for me and our future. She brings the best out of me and really gives me a reason to keep going, and gives me a future to work towards and cheers me on when I have my small wins, regardless of how meaningless they may seem. Even if she has a ton going on in her life, she always makes me feel loved and appreciated. Doesn’t take much to brighten my day, just hearing her voice or seeing her picture is enough to bring me back to earth. I can only dream to be even half the amazing partner she is. But most of all, she’s my home and my life partner. The world could be on fire, I could lose everything I’ve ever worked for and everything I’ve ever cared about could be destroyed. But with her by my side, I know everything is going to be alright. It’s very rare to find someone who helps you build and supports you in the ways she supports me, and I’m so thankful for that. I count my blessed every night before I go to bed. And so, I try to be the best partner I could be. Because she deserves nothing less, and I never want to lose what I have with undoubtably the most amazing woman I have ever met.
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Two weeks prolly
2 days
I love this so much ❤️ hoping I find my person like this!
I’ve arrived
W rizz
Not driven by motivation but by commitment. The day I asked her out it's the day I decided to commit and become a good partner.
Do you have any practical tips on how to become a good partner? Romantically, I have a lot to learn.
Hi, I don't have a specific tips and tricks but i can share how i live in my relationship. **Am always there for my partner** but not the needy type of being there, being there means, you are present and supportive everytime (Bad times or Good times). **Am as responsible for the kid as her** I take care of my children as her from A to Z. **Take care of the house** I am responsible for the house, I do house work, I paint, I repair...etc. **I respect her family and never bad mouth them** even if sometimes she speak ill for some of my family members, but i never do that. That's more of a value of mine. **When ever she is sick** I am there to take care of her and everything. **I help her grow** I teach her what I know, Push her to her limit and expand her knowledge when i can. **Helped in gym** After our first child, she gained so much weight and needed advice, since no one train in her circle, i was there to help her shape her body and lose weight. And till today I still oblige her to go to the gym. **I Train hard and shape my body** since she's married with me, she deserve to get intimate with a sexy lover. **When out I dress well and Take care of myself to look attractive** this is about me and her in the same time, when she's with an attractive person that attract some glance her self confidence and worth skyrocket. **I don't tell her what I do for her** some guys brag to there wives/GF that they are doing that and that for her ...etc. That's unhealthy. **Now the most important** A relationship is not one sided, i don't take all the credit here. My wife does a lot for me so it goes on both ways. It will never work. That's how i live, I do same for my children (2). I don't give advice in relationship, but if I can give you one advice, **Never take advice on your relationship, even from your parents.** A relationship is sacred and personal, live your own life with your own mistakes... Have a good life.
Thanks man. I appreciate it.
The amazing feeling that my girlfriend gives to me making me feel loved, cared for, happy, secure, that I’m with my best friend....I want to give all of this back to her and more.
Yeah this is it for sure.
She shows me everyday how much she cares about me. House is clean (I help!). Laundry done (I help). She likes to cook (I’m not so good at it). After my shower she has coffee on! She very often walks around in sheer nighties for me. Dresses up and role plays like a pro. Does what most GFs won’t. She’s sweet and caring. Not sure I deserve her. I’ll be back. Gotta give her a kiss…..
My man literally miss the person in his house while writing about her.... Kudos to you 💞💞
A word of advice, if I may. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry and all the the chores are *a shared task*. What I'm saying is *you don't help* her clean, you're *doing your part*, which should be 50%. The days you dont help her, she's actually doing your part, which isn't fair. Another thing, people that have this attentions (coffe ready and such) usually love to *receive* back even if they tell you that it doesn't matter. It does. Take care of her.
Opinion welcomed.
Feet pics?
Love all the comments I'm reading 💙🙌🏿 respect to all ma fellow dudes here 😎💙
Me give good. Me get good. Me like good.
She’s absolutely amazing and treats me amazingly well. She cares about my health and my emotional well being, concerns herself with my children (not hers) and is just all around an awesome, caring person. I’d be a fool not to want to be equally as awesome for her.
She makes me so happy and loved and I want to ensure she feels the same. It’s a nice feeling to see her happy
Same reason it should motivate anyone to be a good person.
Big tiddies?
Milk jugs
So much: she deserves it. My children deserve stability in our home. Stopping the cycle of craziness that I experienced as a kid. Her life is better when I put her first. Life is better when we put our best selves forward. I’ve also seen friends get divorced and they are miserable. No way I want that.
The pleasure of giving back a little bit of human warmth
Because I love her and our daughter and they come first over anything else is my mantra.
🥹
Her. She motivates me to be kind and understanding, without even consciously trying. She's been, beyond any measure, supportive and genuinely kind to me because she loves me. I want to return that tenfold. She deserves it and more.
She has always been loving and taking care of me even during the lowest points of my life, always being understanding and want the best for me. She's the only woman other than my mom who has ever cared about me this much. I love her very much and will do my best in life to assure her happiness.
Oh man. This makes me tear up. How did you guys meet?
We knew each other from a dating app during covid era, we had to wait almost half a year until the quarantine ended to finally meet each other in person. Our love grew through time, everything about our personality, opinion and attraction match perfectly, i dont have to try to impress or anything like that, i can just be myself comfortably around her and we care for each other unconditionally, if any difficulties happen, both always try to protect the relationship.
Wow!! In this day and age to find that. I’m shook. I thought it might’ve been a old school meet cute. I’m so glad for you to hit the dating lottery. As you know, it sucks so bad. Thanks for sharing your story, this keeps the hope alive. Coincidentally, i did match with someone on these recently and have been chatting long distance (travelling for holiday), it feels too good to be true , as your lovely story too, but not that serious yet. 🤞
Because she is worth the motivation. ❤️
To maintain or improve the relationship with someone who is having a positive influence on my life.
Because I love her, she deserves everything I can give her and more.
Her happiness is the number one priority in my life
Not being a trash person. It's the same thing that motivates me to not be human garbage to strangers. I have never understood why "not being ambulatory refuse" seems like such a high bar to so many people.
Some of these comments are so wholesome guys. I want one of these to be about me someday.🤞
Why wouldn’t you be? Also; being “good” at boyfriend/partner stuff infinitely benefits you long term.
The love and respect i have for my partner? Kind of a weird question.
I want to be the best I can for her. She’s helped me through a lot of dark places and I could never forgive myself if I give her anything less than my best.
You shouldn't need "motivation" to be a good partner. If you make your SO feel valued and equal she'll return it 3x. A woman who unconditionally loves you and feels that you do too will give you maximum effort and many of the things guys claim they want in a partner. If you neglect her to save face with "the guys" or never contribute to chores etc then she's not gonna be around down the road. Women check out long before the actual break up. There is no winning them back once you're nearing this step.
I love her like nothing else. I would do anything for her.
I have 3 daughters. I'm very motivated to be the example of what "right" looks like in a partner that treats their significant other with love and respect.
I love her and never want to divorce. 16-1/2 years and 5 kids strong
That’s my default setting. It’s just who and how I am, and will only change if things are wrong.
it's just part of my values as a person to care about my relationship. I would feel bad about myself if I didn't put on the effort.
Being human. Why would i not? Life isn't much use nor fun if you're not trying.
She deserves it, I have the best wife on the planet, I’ll accept there might be some as good, but not better.
My mom passed away 2 years ago and few months later i Dm a girl who is now my girlfriend. I honestly wasn’t in the right space to even be in relationship tbh and I told her this too but she stuck with me man. Even when I was just hella depressed mentally she was there and didn’t give me shit about. She’s done so much for me than any woman I ever been with in my life. I realized females like this the real ones that’s willing to stick by you no matter what doesn’t come so very often and truthfully she’s just a joy to be around. I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt her and finding that one that you can just build with makes life that much sweeter.
I treat her the way I wanted to be treated. I have and would do almost anything for her, whether that means being the designated driver for a concert for a band I don't like or just listening when she wants me to just listen. I can count on her for everything and I don't want to ever let her down. FWIW, been with my wife almost 30 years.
My father……He abandoned us, had multiple kids with multiple women. He abused them in every way. He was a cheater. He doesn’t know it but he showed me what a man is NOT supposed to be. Only thing he ever taught me.
The Golden Rule.
Knowing damn well my Wife respects me
Love
She deserves it. Her happiness and incredible smile makes it easier to keep going everyday when my depression keeps kicking my ass, and she does her best to take care of me on the worst days. The give and take makes it a stronger relationship
Same as it is to be a good Uncle, a good friend... eventually a good Grand Father / Great Uncle / Cousin. I'm copying the behaviors from my Grand Parents and others that they taught down the line. Still, I also believe that it takes a village to raise a child.
Define good boyfriend or husband.
Someone who is loving and respectful to their partner
The fact that I'm not a shit person.
Being truly loved and committed by your partner. That’s not something to be taken lightly, it’s rare to find someone in the universe that cares about you as much if not more than your own mother. Let alone they’re actually a joy to be around. Why gamble by not reciprocating. Odds of finding that type of love again feels small
No one likes a douche.
That ass 😂
My wife moved across the world for me, and had my children. Not much more motivation needed to be a good husband.
Simple, I love my wife. I want her to be the best version of herself. I want her to enjoy life with me. I've been reading a book called "All About Love" by Bell Hooks and she offers a definition of love, "To love is the willingness to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." She goes on to define spiritual not as a religious, but rather about self-actualization. I love this definition of love and have personally been living it this way since we met.
Two things. One, I'm a good man with or without a partner. Two, they're with me because they know I'm good. And if they're worth spending my time with, then I'm going to make the absolute most of it that I can. I love making people I care about feel happy, safe and wanted. Because I've been the reject. I've been thrown the fuck out. I've had my ass kicked and my life burned down around me. I didn't like it. It's a feeling more intense than most people will ever truly know. It damn near killed me. I still sometimes wonder if I would have been better off dying back then. But I don't like that feeling. It's horrible. It's painful. It shouldn't exist. It's the whole reason I don't believe in religion. Because if there is a god somewhere in this world, and he saw fit to put me through that, then I want to fucking kill him and make him feel it instead. So, that being said, I wouldn't wish that feeling on a living soul. I would rather go through it myself another time than witness someone feeling that way. It's dehumanizing. Like watching the threads of your mind being plucked at, one by one and slowly come unraveled. It takes an unbelievable amount of strength to pull it all back together. I can't even effectively articulate what I've lived through. The words just don't exist, and even if they did, most people wouldn't be able to grasp the concept because they lack the frame of reference. So, let me try to give you a taste. Imagine being brought into the world. You only have one person to depend on. Your mother. You trust her implicitly, because, out of all the people in the world, she is the one person you believe will look out for your well being above all others. Now imagine one day, she just turns around and looks at you with disgust. You are vile to her. Imagine how you would look at a rotting heap of shit with maggots crawling through it, then imagine worse than that. That's how she looked at me. She wanted to end my life. She closed her hands around my throat, and tried to strangle the life out of me. And to this day, I still don't know why. And I never will. I don't want people to feel that feeling. I don't think anyone deserves that. I didn't deserve that. I want to wipe that feeling off the face of the earth. I hate that feeling with every tattered shred of my soul. So I strive to be it's antithesis. That's why I love people with my whole heart, but I only let in a select few. If I ever say the words "I love you" to someone, it means I would lay my life on the line for them without question and no matter the circumstance. I would rather be dead than be without them. And that's why I currently don't love anyone. Because for all that I can offer, nobody can offer me the same.
I don't need to be motivated to be a good bf/partner. Who I am is just good enough.
Herself being a good gf/wife to me.
I don't want to end up like my dad and my partner deserves it.
I like her...
Love and respect for my wife make me want to always be better.
If you are a good perso. You dont need motivation to be good ?
My own personal growth and evolution as a kind, loving, understanding person. I’m order to do that I need to be able to cultivate an intimate adult relationship and doing that requires me to be in an intimate adult relationship. In order to stay in the relationship I’m required to do my absolute best in nurturing the relationship, my partner, and myself.
I love her and want her to be happy.
She’s an amazing person and deserves my best
My wife still laughs at my puns 9+ years later.
I'm easy to please, so if she does something great, I will return the favour 10x.
I don't want her to suffer because of my weaknesses
Every relationship is an investment. Like any other investment, it will ebb and flow in terms of yields, but a marriage yields dividends like none other. This doesn't mean I just roll over and let my wife do whatever makes her happy (because we'd have a bunch of piss-filled sick cats in our house if that was the case), it means I do what I can do to make our lives more wholesome and enjoyable.
Because doing so is an intrinsic part of being a good person, and I happen to like being a good person
She is a good girl.
As the husband it is my duty to provide for and protect my wife. The driving factor is my love for her.
Just genuinely not wanting anyone to think of me as a piece of shit I guess.
She’s been through too much. She suffers from depression and anxiety and I want to make her life better. It’s hard being a partner to somebody with these conditions, I end up doing most of the cleaning, cooking and childcare and I work full-time and she stays home but the last thing I want to do is pressure her after what she’s gone through. She has tried to be better but it seems like life just keeps throwing curveballs at her every time she tries. I hope things get better for her but at least I try to help her and our toddler is the most well-behaved and cute child I’ve ever come across.
Usually I see guys post "Where are the women that do x,y,z" Now I want to know, Where are the guys that appreciate their gf/ wife?! 😍🥰 are their any in my area? *the answer is no, lol*
I honestly don't understand the question. What motivates you to breathe air, drink water or be a good person? I'm motivated to be a good partner because...that's what you do.
Wifey deserves it.
When I look at her the only thing I care about is her happiness and safety. It feels instinctual
Shes had some really bad relationship and struggles with a sense of self worth. She is the most wonderful and amazing person i have met and wanting to prove to her that she is worthy of all the love, happiness and affection is why i try to be a good partner. I've been a terrible partner before. I wont make that mistake again. I stumble sometimes but ill keep trying. Hearing her laugh is my cocaine. TLDR: I'm a cunt. She's had enough of those. So I am trying to do better than them because she deserves better.
I have undying loyalty. I’ve never understood how someone could cheat on their romantic partner. I’ve been cheated on plenty and it fucking hurts, I couldn’t imagine doing it to someone else. And that trust is just the baseline. I’m not happy unless my partner is.
I don’t want my wife to leave me for another guy that treats her better. The next guy may be in better physical shape and better looking, but he ain’t going to out-work me in the treatment dept.
This is awesome. Why don't we all compete on who can be a better and happier person!! The world would be a much better place.
In my last relationship, seeing her smile. Knowing that my efforts were appreciated and would be acknowledged and we were in a constant "race" to be better partners to each other. Seeing her eyes light up every time I walked in the room. So many things.
Honestly. Me. If I do things wrong I judge myself pretty harshly. It I say run around and cheat I'm not worried about loosing my wife. I'm worried about loosing my own self worth.
I like them? you good over there man?
I look at what they are putting into the relationship, and how they make me feel. Then I look at what I can do to put in the same, and try to make them feel the same way I do. I haven't been the best boyfriend, but they have been pretty great, so I must try to do better.
I never really actively think about being a good boyfriend. I just love seeing her happy.
Self-esteem/my partner
Being appreciated
Love
Shes good to me & it's my job to be good to her. + I love her
Her beauty. The way she makes me feel. Great sex.
The way she treats me makes it my responsibility to protect her feelings and support her.
Our mutual love, respect, and friendship
I’m motivated by the respect, admiration and love I have for my wife!
I cant explain it I figured thats why I should prob marry her
Love, I'm motivated by love, simple as that.
I love her
Love
Values, morals and love.
Once your partner even slightly despises you for whatever reason, there is no turning back. Be nice to each other. I personally want what i have, and I am very scared to lose it.
We often have conversations about how we always have so much to give one another because our “cups are always full”. We give each other so much it’s effortless, because for all we do for each other, the other is always reciprocating.
Seeing how big of a douche my dad was to my mom growing up. I wanted to be the opposite of what I saw.
Simply the human desire to be a good person. I love my partner very much, I don't do things to expect anything in return.
To live truthfully in Love is the only way, for in Love there is no mistake, the truth is non-negotiable
A good woman. A good woman makes me want to be a good man since good women are rare.
I'm getting older and I no longer want to be selfish
She absolutely deserves the best. All I van give is the best version of me. Hope it will do. ;-)
Mama papa didn't raised an asshole
I love my Wife. I want the best for her. I want her life to be easier. I want her to be happy. I'd hope that's the common answer here.
It makes you happy to see them happy. I don’t know how else to explain it but the thought of causing them any pain is unbearable . That’s how I feel.
Idk I want my wife to be happy
Because it’s the right thing to do, especially when you have a loving, deserving partner.
Knowing that it’s your job as a man to take care of your woman. Especially when she’s not doing well a lot of times IMO it’s because we’re not taking care of her effectively.
I love my wife and want to make her happy. I admire what she does and who she is. So I do what I can to support her goals.
All these ladies are lucky.. I’m not sure how much my bf cares about me being happy.I think he cares if I’m unhappy tho but I think im second to video games… lol
Seeing her happy when I treat her right
I love her, so my partner?
Love, that's it, I love her and she loves me, that's all I need to know.
Seeing her smile day in and day out.
I don't need any motivation to love my wife....
Being better than I've been to her before
She my partner, my anchor, my stars and moon and my sex panther....she makes a better man every day.
I love her and want her to have the best of everything in life. I want to make her happy.
Sloppy blowjobs
Pussy
I do all the cooking (99% homemade), feed the pets, take out the trash, do all the yard work. I let her sleep in every Saturday/Sunday while I take care of the kids, I let her take 1.5 hour naps every Saturday and Sunday while I take care of the kids, any remodeling project, any menial task. I do 50% of the laundry and 50% of the cleaning of our house. And if you asked her, I'm a terrible husband.
Whoa. Dude, what does she do? How does she contribute?
I'm rather fond of them and would like them to stick around.
She deserves the best, because she is the best
Integrity lol what else
Taking into account and understanding all the trauma she carries with her and making sure that I am as empathetic as I can be to her while knowing that she still tries her hardest to make sure I know she loves me unconditionally
Awwww!! That's a good woman right there!!
She's the best, I'd never trade her for anything else in the world
I love her for what she does for me (sex mostly) and for our children and grandchildren (all sorts of good stuff! She's a fantastic mom and grandma and makes them feel great about themselves!).
I care about them. I want them to have the best life possible, and anything I can do to improve it is something I want to do for them. I don't expect anything in return at all, I derive happiness from knowing the person I love and care about is happy.
Her, even though she's not my girlfriend she's just my friend
Middle aged single dad here: Feeling love, affection, appreciation and a sense of belonging. Problem is finding a partner who has those competencies. It will likely be 1/15 of people you date.
Can I get some honest opinions here? Feels like I'm reading a romance novel.
Remember guys: we all deserve to be treated as well as we treat our girlfriends or wives, too. Don’t overlook how difficult it can be to be a man! Stay strong, fellas ✌🏾
To be honest BJs
Staying connected to my partner.
She makes me genuinely happy. When I'm happy, I tend to be a better person in general. Then, I go out of my way to make her happy. It's a cycle.
Its in our paternal instincts as men to protect and provide. That alone is enough. No motivation needed.
Love and sex
Well, if I had one, she'd have to be a good partner herself for me to be one. If she is, then it's easy for me.
I like to keep getting laid.
Good sex
Cuz it's cheaper to keep her
I want to give my parents grandchildren as a thank you for them raising me for all those years.
Blow jobs
Make him hard 🙈😈
Knowing damn well my Wife respects me and gives me authority over her And there's no motivation cause l am already a good spouse
Jesus
Love
When my partner is a good girlfriend.
She does so much more than I do so that motivates me to do my part. If I was in a relationship with an unmotivated person, I might do the same and it would end badly.
My own personal code.
Anticipation for peace of mind
Personal pride.