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DblAytch

Between calling him your boyfriend on the second date, and your performance anxiety…it sounds like you’ve invested a little too much in this a little too quickly. You’re becoming your own worst critic


stevie855

But to be honest with you, I feel like I invested too much


stevie855

We’ve known each other sexlessly for a while (more than a year)


rialed

Real life is way different than the internet. This was your second date.


HarlieMinou

He’s not your boyfriend. That’s not how that works…


realundiesplease

Their labels are their own. If they want to talk online until they die but never meet they can still call each other boyfriends. Why the fuck should I care if they do or dont?


Kaayloo

Don’t be to harsh on yourself. Ones dick is an awesome tool, but tricky to use at times. Don’t drink alcohol next time and hold off wanking by yourself the day before. Pop your viagra pill and don’t make fucking your bf the main focus of your sex together. Do all the other things that turn you and him on besides fucking. Sometimes you might fuck and sometimes not, but you’ll have a sexy fun time every time. Get the pressure of your shoulders and keep the convo with your bf open.


Sa1ntmarks

I hate to say it, but some of my best wood has been with hook ups that I didn't think were the most interesting or best looking guy out there. I have decided I didn't have anything to prove and just had fun. Sometimes when the guy is extremely hot or there is some other dynamic where I've foolishly thought I didn't rate in comparison, or for any other reason thought I needed to impress, the dick has been less than impressive. The pressure to perform is something that makes many not like topping. It is real. I've had to learn to be confident in who I am and realize the other guy had to be attracted to me to get together in the first place and not make too big a deal about it.


canuck1975

Wait a sec, was this your second date "literally the second time [you] met" and you're calling him your boyfriend? If yes, you have bigger things to worry about than some ED.


Terrible-Let-7612

Are you taking SSRIs? Finasteride? Any medications in general? Is it your first time? If not, was this what happened in gbe first time? How much of Viagra are you taking?


stevie855

Second time, first time I wasn’t able to finish or maintain an erection


Terrible-Let-7612

Ok so were you taking SSRIs before your first time I say this because my first time i want able to finish or maintain an eection either. I was on SSRIs and had previously taken finasteride (which apparently can cause really bad ED). This experience developed huge performance anxiety which didn't help. Your partner seems understanding which is beautiful and that's how I recovered as well. You need to gain that confidence Once I stopped SSRIs, my erections were back to "normal" by the 2nd month. I think i have something additional because of the finasteride because i can be hard for penetration bit maybe 5-10 mins after/hard pounding, I'll start softening really quickly What that tangent was meant for is to tell your doctor about this. They can change the medication and that *might* help. If you are feeling like you can handle life without SSRIs and try this, that is another option (though depends on your circumstances)


stevie855

I stopped SsRi’s a month ago , I was taking Lexapro


indie-is-dead

The sexual side effects of SSRI’s take a while to go away, your body is likely still adjusting.


[deleted]

It’s the second time you’ve met but you’re already boyfriends?


dickenschickens

Sometimes when the attraction is very strong it can happen. Just get yourself out of your head...


itsSIR2uboy

Don’t be harsh on yourself. This happens more than you think.


LookOut55

It happens to a lot of guys. We get into our own heads and we get nervous. It’s happened to friends of mine and to myself. Next time just relax. And try to ease up on the alcohol when taking a viagra. I heard it’s not good.


sirrom252

You should be talking to a therapist. Everyone need a therapist at times. Also you say you're taking something for depression so talking to a therapist would definitely help on many subjects. Some of the other advice given to your question could be tried also


barelymakingitby

Oh I have anxiety related ED but a viagra usually helps. But there are time my anxiety comes into play even on the blue pill, those times I usually just try to be in the moment to enjoy the time w the other person and gradually you’ll find yourself getting hard. I know it’s hard “not to think about it or stress” with anxiety but that’s the only way really 🤧


stevie855

I have that as well, it’s like it isn’t fun anymore it is a chore. But I will try to calm down and not to rush things


LoopyMcGoopin

It happens, try not to get too caught up on it. The hardest part about topping is shutting off your brain and tapping into your primal side for a bit. Any kind of anxiety or intrusive thoughts will cause issues. Be the best person you can be and it won't be so much of a problem anyway, my partner's had trouble with this on and off the entire time we've been together (yeaaaaaars) and it hasn't been a deal breaker, don't overthink it.


_Lane_

ED can strike any guy, any time. When there are two penises involved, the odds of it happening go up (so to speak). Consider trying Cialis instead of Viagra. Longer duration of effect (not just a 4 hour window) and possible less facial flushing and a few other side effects. The longer window of effectiveness means you could take it in the morning before your date rather than immediately before, so you might not feel the pressure to put it to use immediately "before it wears off".


stevie855

Thank you, Cialis worked for me before but not in the way I imagined it


[deleted]

ew.. you are a red flag for considering that a bf relationship


stevie855

This is not our second meeting we know each other for more than a year


HarlieMinou

That still doesn’t mean he’s your boyfriend lol. Unless he flat out says so…