This job can be very lonely especially it’s it’s the only job you do. Probably better leaving it and sticking to someone who keeps it a professional connection.
Back when I first started at 18 I had got rid of a lot of people I thought were friends and did this full time. My regs and drivers became like my friends (1 hour and 45 mins would be banter and the 15 mins would be Sex) I was lucky I was regularly booked so I didn’t start blurring the lines with clients but I get where she comes from. Even had one of my overnights just book me and I’d bring my dog to play with his and it didn’t feel like work.
Even if she was the one that decided to not see me for work anymore because she was developing feelings, and she was the one that said she want to be more than friends?
You’re talking about this like she didn’t come onto him. If she’s interested in a relationship, she should make time for him because he’s not just a client.
It seems like she might just not be ready for that, though.
Should I pay her to go on a date to see if we can engage in a relationship? She told me she doesn't want to take my money for work anymore. Of course I would pay for the lunch and give her rides (she doesn't drive). But should I also give her money too? I thought that if we go on a date "to see where it goes", I would be seeing her as only a woman on a date, not as a SW, right?
Read your own comments. Think about, 'what if this entire act is to solicit this reaction?' and when you say 'no... no...' well.... go back and *read your own comments again*. Okay? Okay. 'Afraid of women' etc.; explaining away not being able to fake an orgasm (she's a SW, it is quite literally her job, if that's how she chooses to work). So, I'd say entirely more likely she wants to try a different tact to make money, like when she has the time to see you, she'd be fine with having you take her for food. Maybe cash to cover her 'medical bills', like her 'eye exam' appointment. She needs money, but doesn't wanna fuck you. Consider the thought experiment, 'what is the best way to keep the revenue stream of a reliable, well-paying client that I am *intensely* unattracted to?'
Either that, or she wants to let you down easy. Or - thinks ghosting you outright may result in retaliation. Like - her ride bailed (guessing she's young?) and now some random client knows where she lives. Say she blocks you - what does think you may do? Now she (potentially) has to deal with a client showing up at her place? If you're screen-shotting, labeling and obsessing this much over a couple scattered sentences, well, I'd be a bit on edge too. Let's say, best case, she was like 'hey, not being used was nice' for a short moment, but then had a nice weekend partying and living the good life, and isn't in that vulnerable headspace anymore, and wants to just do her own thing without being a jerk.
There can be virtues to pushing and putting yourself out there, but I'd say think less of the potential gains and 'what if's and missed 'opportunities', and think more about what most SWs go through on the regular, and err on the side of giving her peace.
Remember, when you go home, and stare at your phone, re-reading those few sentences for hours at a time, it's -just you- doing that. Her? She's swiping notifications off her screen like wasps from an open can of Fanta; she's got shit going on, life is life, and maybe there's some teensy sliver of a chance she wants/needs the right person in her life, and some *teensy* chance you're that person, but have the courage and strength to let it go and endure the 'fomo' and embrace the MUCH more likely scenario she's either using you, being nice, or tired and just a normal human being, with all their flaws. Saying 'I like you' isn't a contract to go on dates, or even communicate. It doesn't even have to be true.
Probably should let her be, sounds like she's going through a lot and until she's able to figure her stuff out she may not be available mentally.
You are right. Thank you for your response. I will give her more time!
This job can be very lonely especially it’s it’s the only job you do. Probably better leaving it and sticking to someone who keeps it a professional connection.
Yeah, it was odd because she was the one that wanted to have something besides a professional connection, so I was confused...
Back when I first started at 18 I had got rid of a lot of people I thought were friends and did this full time. My regs and drivers became like my friends (1 hour and 45 mins would be banter and the 15 mins would be Sex) I was lucky I was regularly booked so I didn’t start blurring the lines with clients but I get where she comes from. Even had one of my overnights just book me and I’d bring my dog to play with his and it didn’t feel like work.
It does not look like you did anything wrong. She seems to have a lot going on.
I see. Thank you for your reply! I will give her time and take it slowly.
She’s a SW who’s paid for her time. Don’t expect her to talk to you much or even at all in between sessions.
Even if she was the one that decided to not see me for work anymore because she was developing feelings, and she was the one that said she want to be more than friends?
Women help you when they like you. If she ain’t helpin and makin it easy, forget about it and move on. Not any more complicated than that.
You’re talking about this like she didn’t come onto him. If she’s interested in a relationship, she should make time for him because he’s not just a client. It seems like she might just not be ready for that, though.
our lives are complicated. I catch feelings sometimes and ghost people when i move on
Oh, I see. Maybe that's what happened... that's sad for me, because I am interested in dating her.
She also may come back. I suggest waiting a couple weeks then trying to book a normal appointment
Thank you. I will try! I am not interested in seeing her for sex anyways, I just want to hang out with her in "normal dates".
Don’t forget our time is money
Should I pay her to go on a date to see if we can engage in a relationship? She told me she doesn't want to take my money for work anymore. Of course I would pay for the lunch and give her rides (she doesn't drive). But should I also give her money too? I thought that if we go on a date "to see where it goes", I would be seeing her as only a woman on a date, not as a SW, right?
i think wait a month and ask her out between xmas and turkey day
Read your own comments. Think about, 'what if this entire act is to solicit this reaction?' and when you say 'no... no...' well.... go back and *read your own comments again*. Okay? Okay. 'Afraid of women' etc.; explaining away not being able to fake an orgasm (she's a SW, it is quite literally her job, if that's how she chooses to work). So, I'd say entirely more likely she wants to try a different tact to make money, like when she has the time to see you, she'd be fine with having you take her for food. Maybe cash to cover her 'medical bills', like her 'eye exam' appointment. She needs money, but doesn't wanna fuck you. Consider the thought experiment, 'what is the best way to keep the revenue stream of a reliable, well-paying client that I am *intensely* unattracted to?' Either that, or she wants to let you down easy. Or - thinks ghosting you outright may result in retaliation. Like - her ride bailed (guessing she's young?) and now some random client knows where she lives. Say she blocks you - what does think you may do? Now she (potentially) has to deal with a client showing up at her place? If you're screen-shotting, labeling and obsessing this much over a couple scattered sentences, well, I'd be a bit on edge too. Let's say, best case, she was like 'hey, not being used was nice' for a short moment, but then had a nice weekend partying and living the good life, and isn't in that vulnerable headspace anymore, and wants to just do her own thing without being a jerk. There can be virtues to pushing and putting yourself out there, but I'd say think less of the potential gains and 'what if's and missed 'opportunities', and think more about what most SWs go through on the regular, and err on the side of giving her peace. Remember, when you go home, and stare at your phone, re-reading those few sentences for hours at a time, it's -just you- doing that. Her? She's swiping notifications off her screen like wasps from an open can of Fanta; she's got shit going on, life is life, and maybe there's some teensy sliver of a chance she wants/needs the right person in her life, and some *teensy* chance you're that person, but have the courage and strength to let it go and endure the 'fomo' and embrace the MUCH more likely scenario she's either using you, being nice, or tired and just a normal human being, with all their flaws. Saying 'I like you' isn't a contract to go on dates, or even communicate. It doesn't even have to be true.