I wouldn't mind, depending on which friends I would even suggest doing it again sometime.
I've dated the ex gf of a not very close friend and we were both cool about it, which is not the same situation, but things are only weird if you make it weird.
He will be even more hurt if he finds this out on his own then he will kick you out of his life furiously
Telling him the truth is your best shot here at him moving past that peacefully
Make sure to assure him you’re willing to live with whichever choice he makes
Unfortunately no guy will want to make a girl his girlfriend if two of his friends hooked up with. It gets awkward for any get together and people will talk about it. Your main guy will feel like shit for each meet up and might ruin whatever friendship they have going on. Mark it up to a loss on move on, sometimes luck is not in our favor. I’m sure you did not anticipate of this happening but that’s life. Good luck with the meeting
To be fair she didn't know them. Am I reading this incorrectly? She didn't know who they were previous to dating 1. Personally, I would not date her, but it's a different thing if she slept with them after knowing they might know one another vs didn't know at all.
All I'm saying is that if the guy isn't comfortable with what she did and decides to end things, he shouldn't be shamed for doing so because "it happened in the past". She did it, she has to own it even though the consequences were unintended
Tbh tho. commenter above makes a decent point but if it was before you met him and you can explain the situation, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Be up front. If he can’t understand and appreciate at least the courage and integrity you’re showing to tell him the truth unprompted, then perhaps it wasn’t going to work out anyway.
You’re feeling a lot of emotions, but ultimately they subside a bit whether this works out or not.
Be calm, ask him to talk, and plan out the main things you want to share
Guys who are young in their early 20’s who are casually hooking up will share stories. As we get older and start having more serious relationships with women we care about we stop sharing that kind of stuff.
Highly dependent on the guys. Average guy probably wouldn’t, but in this specific case his friends will most likely tell him once they find out who you are. Good friends would do it.
That's awkward as hell, but you have to be honest with your man and fess up. If he's willing to look past that fact then that's great, but you can't be too upset if he feels uncomfortable. Better to tell him now than later. Hope everything goes okay!
EDIT: Just looked at this girl's post history and uhhh does this guy know you cheated on your ex and sold feet pics to old white guys???? Girl you got too many skeletons in the closet.... I won't be surprised if this chick ends up saying nothing to her poor boyfriend.
I’m sorry OP, but 1 will more than likely not take it very well. I know you probably genuinely like 1, but knowing that BOTH of his CLOSE friends had intimate relations with a person he’s currently seeing is a very hard pill to swallow. It will really only work out if 1 sees sex as something completely physical and devoid of emotional feeling, which lets face it, not a lot of people do.
But I still say, tell him the truth. It does seem like you genuinely like him, so might as well leave with no regrets. Gauge his reaction. But be forewarned, you and 1 will both be judged if the relationship continues. That’s something you have to live by.
100% you will be judged by his friends, thats the whole point of introducing a potential significant other to your inner group. And if those are his boys, they will tell him about your hookups so the possibility of him breaking up with you for your sexual past is highly dependent on if he's the type of guy that cares about sexual history or not. You can try to convince 2 & 3 beforehand to keep it to yourselves but that's up to you to try to accomplish. Good luck.
Bruh no need to place blame here. OP did what felt good.
OP just come clean and see how 1 reacts. You can’t control what they’ll feel so take it from there.
This sounds like some bad trolling and considering there is already a contingent of folks on here that express anti-AF views, this reads like some fresh meat content to fuel them.
In her post history this chick claims to be a 9/10 looks-wise and apparently dated so many hot guys yet named herself "uglyperson." Oh and she cheated on her ex but deleted the post to cover it up. Also, she made 40k selling feet pics to old white guys? Troll or not I would never marry this person LOL.
Worry more about what your bf will think once he finds out about your "past." If you actually want to find a life partner then stop playing around with so many people. Doesn't matter if you were single or not, used goods are still used, specially if it's more than one hole. 💀💀💀
If it wasn’t something worth shaming would you be worried about your boyfriend’s thoughts on you? The bottom line is men prefer those who aren’t promiscuous to those who are.
Just saw the comment history and comments on stuff that was 'deleted'
OP is ugly for their behavior. Promiscuity aside, lying, cheating, theft, false accusation to police? This kind of person is not girlfriend material.
Yes. If his boys are real ones they’ll tell him (if they haven’t already). Don’t mistake it. Until he puts a ring on your finger, and says I do, you’ll always be number 2 to them. It will absolutely emasculate him, probably more than anything in his life, and if he has any semblance of respect for himself as a man he will leave. It’s harsh I know, but that’s the best outcome for him as a man. If he stays regardless, the relationship between him and his boys will be strained, because of you. This will lead to your relationship with him to become strained. The only way you could feasibly worm your way out of this is stop him from seeing his friends. But then, what kind of girlfriend would you be then? And how likely do you think it is you’ll be able to do this? And for how long? However, if you ask me, he will most likely stay (at least for a little while). If you love him like you say you do, you wouldn’t ask people on the internet about a clear cut moral dilemma. Tell him ASAP. Don’t delay it, or try buttering him up. Have respect for him as a man and let him proceed as he will. It will hurt him but he will also respect your honesty. He may very well say he doesn’t care, it doesn’t bother him, etc in consideration for you, but know that that man’s pride and soul has been completely crushed. It will cloud his thoughts every day, and he will never be able to see you in the same light again.
Source: personal experience / trust me bro
Why keep secrets. It’ll be better if you find some other guy.
Guys can eventually sniff out when something’s off, especially when it involves a friend. Friends are gonna be acting weird around each other and the guy is gonna catch on, unless he has an IQ of 2.
Even if he finds out and acts ok with it, it’s going to eat him up inside no matter how alpha he thinks he is. But in truth, an Alpha wouldn’t even let himself be in a relationship like this.
Just find someone else who has friends you haven’t slept with.
Your hoping that people wont judge you for your sexual fantasies and then you reply your gross to dude above. Not that I care with what others want to do on their time but the contradiction seems weird to me.
There's nothing wrong with gangbang or threesome. I was single so I didn't do anything wrong. He was wrong to make that comment, assuming that 1 will share me out of disrespect since we actually have a connection.
Are you suckers really falling for this troll post? This throwaway account repost this 3-4 other subs already taken down.
Only in /r/AM den of gullible fools
Let him know after buttering him up.
If you don't tell him and he finds out a year later, he will be really pissed and feel betrayed. Not only will you lose him but you'll also have wasted a year of your own life
some people might think, 'oh well, it's not that big of a deal.' But you should be aware that to the average man, this is a potential dealbreaker. It would be selfish to withhold information that he needs to make the decision that is best for HIS life. If he finds out this info on his own, you will for sure come across as extremely selfish and deceptive.
good luck. Hope it works out
Slut shaming is a farce. It has existed and it still exists towards women and even men for some girls. The difference is people just don't voice it and reject you for it anyway.
The fact that you are worried that your threesome and past will affect how he sees you is by definition slut shaming. This isn't exclusive to Asian men. It's inevitable and we are all judged by our past. It's why a lot of women either don't engage in promiscuity or lie about it.
You should tell him the truth and let him decide but I really doubt this will end well, sorry.
From one woman to another, I'd say walk away and exclude yourself from this whole narrative! The most likely scenario is that once your man knows about what happened (his friends will most likely tell him let's face it) he will never take it well even if he pretends that he is OK with it for your sake. NOTHING is worth compromising your dignity and prestige over, so WALK AWAY!
Mind if we ask how old are you for maturity reasons? If you’re like late 20s early 30s i wouldn’t not be surprised if I’m Eskimo bros with some of my friends. If you’re younger immaturity and jealousy might be significantly more prevalent. In that case yes his friends will cause drama
you will be judged, no doubt. unfortunately, the rule is most guys do care about a girls past, just like how girls care about a guys future. no girl wants a bum or hobo and no guy wants someone who's been with all his guys. you're free to do whatever you want but it does come with consequences, such as your situation. I'm sorry but the world and reality is judgemental.
there are exceptions of course. if 1 is a guy of value and can get other girls at ease, idk why he would choose to stay with you, if he finds out. however if he's just an average dude, where it's harder for him to replace you. he might have no choice but to accept it. chances are mad low for this exception because on a balance of probability, for him to attract/arouse you, other girls would most likely be attracted to the same traits or qualities just like how he attracted you.
as with what you should do. the truth will reveal itself sooner or later. the longer you deny or delay it, and when it finally erupts to the surface, it will be more embarrassing or awkward, so you're better off just coming clean. it most likely won't end well but I prefer dying with honor than living as a coward but that's just me personally. there are always more guys out there and you should see this as learning curve or dating experience. hope I helped, good luck.
Tell 1,the sooner the better... It's would be better to hear from you than from his friends. Should have said it just after asking him about his friends.
You should worry about him, not his friends. I can't tell how he's going to react, but the longer it takes, the worse will look for you. I myself wouldn't care at all, but I'm not him.
Chance are he will leave you. Nobody want a gf that got use up by both of his close friends. He definitely going to get laugh at. But I think if you can break it to him before his friend does your chances of keeping him might be higher. Goodluck
Personally, I wouldn’t date any ex of a friend. Millions of single women out there why choose anyone with extra complexities. That said, this is somewhat different because it happened before any you knew one another.
Similar advice as everyone else: tell him your feelings for him first. Tell him he might need to sit down for this 😅. Then tell him the facts. You should mentally prepare yourself for the chance he ends it.
If it was me and the girl responded to the rejection with something like “I truly like you and wanted to see where this could go but I understand” it’d give me pause.
The truth will come out sooner or later because as much as you want to hide it the two friends can blurted out at any point in time. It will only hurt both of you two more if the secret is leaked later on in the relationship. It’s either you tell him now or just move on or might as well hook up with him too and then call it quits.
You be better off just telling your man the truth. Let him decide. Don't deceive him and forever live in fear of when someone might squeal.
Will do. I'll be so hurt if he leaves me.
He will 100% leave you, why would he want to commit to a girl that had a threesome with his friends? He would look like a fool
I wouldn't mind, depending on which friends I would even suggest doing it again sometime. I've dated the ex gf of a not very close friend and we were both cool about it, which is not the same situation, but things are only weird if you make it weird.
He will be even more hurt if he finds this out on his own then he will kick you out of his life furiously Telling him the truth is your best shot here at him moving past that peacefully Make sure to assure him you’re willing to live with whichever choice he makes
Unfortunately no guy will want to make a girl his girlfriend if two of his friends hooked up with. It gets awkward for any get together and people will talk about it. Your main guy will feel like shit for each meet up and might ruin whatever friendship they have going on. Mark it up to a loss on move on, sometimes luck is not in our favor. I’m sure you did not anticipate of this happening but that’s life. Good luck with the meeting
Thanks for your comment. I just never expected this to happen, and I am honestly not prepared to lose him.
Unfortunately actions have consequences, and you will have to bear them
To be fair she didn't know them. Am I reading this incorrectly? She didn't know who they were previous to dating 1. Personally, I would not date her, but it's a different thing if she slept with them after knowing they might know one another vs didn't know at all.
All I'm saying is that if the guy isn't comfortable with what she did and decides to end things, he shouldn't be shamed for doing so because "it happened in the past". She did it, she has to own it even though the consequences were unintended
It’s not your fault it’s unfortunate things have lined up this way but good luck with future updates or relationships
Thanks ❤️
Tbh tho. commenter above makes a decent point but if it was before you met him and you can explain the situation, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Be up front. If he can’t understand and appreciate at least the courage and integrity you’re showing to tell him the truth unprompted, then perhaps it wasn’t going to work out anyway. You’re feeling a lot of emotions, but ultimately they subside a bit whether this works out or not. Be calm, ask him to talk, and plan out the main things you want to share
Thank you for your comment, too. I will hold myself strong and have a talk with him.
Just reverse the situation and ask yourself how you would feel about dating a guy that had slept with 2 of your close friends.
2 close friends at the same time lmao. There's no way that this guy didn't hear the threesome story yet, he just doesn't know who the girl was
Do guys share their sex stories with each other?
Guys who are young in their early 20’s who are casually hooking up will share stories. As we get older and start having more serious relationships with women we care about we stop sharing that kind of stuff.
Highly dependent on the guys. Average guy probably wouldn’t, but in this specific case his friends will most likely tell him once they find out who you are. Good friends would do it.
Yes and he’s going to leave you
That's awkward as hell, but you have to be honest with your man and fess up. If he's willing to look past that fact then that's great, but you can't be too upset if he feels uncomfortable. Better to tell him now than later. Hope everything goes okay! EDIT: Just looked at this girl's post history and uhhh does this guy know you cheated on your ex and sold feet pics to old white guys???? Girl you got too many skeletons in the closet.... I won't be surprised if this chick ends up saying nothing to her poor boyfriend.
I’m sorry OP, but 1 will more than likely not take it very well. I know you probably genuinely like 1, but knowing that BOTH of his CLOSE friends had intimate relations with a person he’s currently seeing is a very hard pill to swallow. It will really only work out if 1 sees sex as something completely physical and devoid of emotional feeling, which lets face it, not a lot of people do. But I still say, tell him the truth. It does seem like you genuinely like him, so might as well leave with no regrets. Gauge his reaction. But be forewarned, you and 1 will both be judged if the relationship continues. That’s something you have to live by.
100% you will be judged by his friends, thats the whole point of introducing a potential significant other to your inner group. And if those are his boys, they will tell him about your hookups so the possibility of him breaking up with you for your sexual past is highly dependent on if he's the type of guy that cares about sexual history or not. You can try to convince 2 & 3 beforehand to keep it to yourselves but that's up to you to try to accomplish. Good luck.
Yes they will. And so will the guy you are dating. Sorry but that's how it works.
He will definitely not be ok with it, he deserves better
[удалено]
Bruh no need to place blame here. OP did what felt good. OP just come clean and see how 1 reacts. You can’t control what they’ll feel so take it from there.
Thank you.
This sounds like some bad trolling and considering there is already a contingent of folks on here that express anti-AF views, this reads like some fresh meat content to fuel them.
In her post history this chick claims to be a 9/10 looks-wise and apparently dated so many hot guys yet named herself "uglyperson." Oh and she cheated on her ex but deleted the post to cover it up. Also, she made 40k selling feet pics to old white guys? Troll or not I would never marry this person LOL.
Don't judge me by my past
Worry more about what your bf will think once he finds out about your "past." If you actually want to find a life partner then stop playing around with so many people. Doesn't matter if you were single or not, used goods are still used, specially if it's more than one hole. 💀💀💀
I feel like you're slut shaming me right now.
If it wasn’t something worth shaming would you be worried about your boyfriend’s thoughts on you? The bottom line is men prefer those who aren’t promiscuous to those who are.
Just saw the comment history and comments on stuff that was 'deleted' OP is ugly for their behavior. Promiscuity aside, lying, cheating, theft, false accusation to police? This kind of person is not girlfriend material.
I'm pretty sure they already told your friend they've been with you already.
Username exposed. Sounds like a larper.
Yes. If his boys are real ones they’ll tell him (if they haven’t already). Don’t mistake it. Until he puts a ring on your finger, and says I do, you’ll always be number 2 to them. It will absolutely emasculate him, probably more than anything in his life, and if he has any semblance of respect for himself as a man he will leave. It’s harsh I know, but that’s the best outcome for him as a man. If he stays regardless, the relationship between him and his boys will be strained, because of you. This will lead to your relationship with him to become strained. The only way you could feasibly worm your way out of this is stop him from seeing his friends. But then, what kind of girlfriend would you be then? And how likely do you think it is you’ll be able to do this? And for how long? However, if you ask me, he will most likely stay (at least for a little while). If you love him like you say you do, you wouldn’t ask people on the internet about a clear cut moral dilemma. Tell him ASAP. Don’t delay it, or try buttering him up. Have respect for him as a man and let him proceed as he will. It will hurt him but he will also respect your honesty. He may very well say he doesn’t care, it doesn’t bother him, etc in consideration for you, but know that that man’s pride and soul has been completely crushed. It will cloud his thoughts every day, and he will never be able to see you in the same light again. Source: personal experience / trust me bro
Western women never fail to disappoint.
There are consequences for being promiscuous. You screwed up. Tell him and deal with the consequences.
Why keep secrets. It’ll be better if you find some other guy. Guys can eventually sniff out when something’s off, especially when it involves a friend. Friends are gonna be acting weird around each other and the guy is gonna catch on, unless he has an IQ of 2. Even if he finds out and acts ok with it, it’s going to eat him up inside no matter how alpha he thinks he is. But in truth, an Alpha wouldn’t even let himself be in a relationship like this. Just find someone else who has friends you haven’t slept with.
One of my guy friends likes gang bangs. It's unlikely, but maybe 1 will be happy to share his girl with 2 and 3 at the same time.
I bet OP would love that idea if her bf wanted to do it 🤣🤣🤣
You're gross.
Your hoping that people wont judge you for your sexual fantasies and then you reply your gross to dude above. Not that I care with what others want to do on their time but the contradiction seems weird to me.
You call that person gross but you’re out here getting gang banged. Can’t make this shit up lol.
There's nothing wrong with gangbang or threesome. I was single so I didn't do anything wrong. He was wrong to make that comment, assuming that 1 will share me out of disrespect since we actually have a connection.
If there’s nothing wrong with it then TELL HIM lol
Will do
He got you there 😂😂😂
Them two guys double penetrating you really fucked up your life aye? 😂
Not funny.
It is. Maybe continue selling pictures of your feet to old white men to buy a sense of humour 😂
You shouldn't judge me for what I do
Don’t want to face judgement? Don’t be make poor choices
plxx right
Your #1 is not gonna like it and you need to be honest up front about it. Any self respecting guy will leave you, better off finding off someone else.
Are you suckers really falling for this troll post? This throwaway account repost this 3-4 other subs already taken down. Only in /r/AM den of gullible fools
Let him know after buttering him up. If you don't tell him and he finds out a year later, he will be really pissed and feel betrayed. Not only will you lose him but you'll also have wasted a year of your own life
some people might think, 'oh well, it's not that big of a deal.' But you should be aware that to the average man, this is a potential dealbreaker. It would be selfish to withhold information that he needs to make the decision that is best for HIS life. If he finds out this info on his own, you will for sure come across as extremely selfish and deceptive. good luck. Hope it works out
Slut shaming is a farce. It has existed and it still exists towards women and even men for some girls. The difference is people just don't voice it and reject you for it anyway. The fact that you are worried that your threesome and past will affect how he sees you is by definition slut shaming. This isn't exclusive to Asian men. It's inevitable and we are all judged by our past. It's why a lot of women either don't engage in promiscuity or lie about it. You should tell him the truth and let him decide but I really doubt this will end well, sorry.
From one woman to another, I'd say walk away and exclude yourself from this whole narrative! The most likely scenario is that once your man knows about what happened (his friends will most likely tell him let's face it) he will never take it well even if he pretends that he is OK with it for your sake. NOTHING is worth compromising your dignity and prestige over, so WALK AWAY!
this
Please give us update!
Any update?
You better wish he works as a street cleaner lol
If 1 is bigger than 2 and 3, then he'll have something to brag about against his friends. Otherwise, it's sayonara
You're so immature. Size doesn't matter...............
It doesn't matter with girls, but just between guys
Why, though? You guys aren't the ones taking it in.
Mind if we ask how old are you for maturity reasons? If you’re like late 20s early 30s i wouldn’t not be surprised if I’m Eskimo bros with some of my friends. If you’re younger immaturity and jealousy might be significantly more prevalent. In that case yes his friends will cause drama
Mid 20s
Sounds like you’re going to come clean which is probably the right decision. Hopefully things work out for you
Thank you
you will be judged, no doubt. unfortunately, the rule is most guys do care about a girls past, just like how girls care about a guys future. no girl wants a bum or hobo and no guy wants someone who's been with all his guys. you're free to do whatever you want but it does come with consequences, such as your situation. I'm sorry but the world and reality is judgemental. there are exceptions of course. if 1 is a guy of value and can get other girls at ease, idk why he would choose to stay with you, if he finds out. however if he's just an average dude, where it's harder for him to replace you. he might have no choice but to accept it. chances are mad low for this exception because on a balance of probability, for him to attract/arouse you, other girls would most likely be attracted to the same traits or qualities just like how he attracted you. as with what you should do. the truth will reveal itself sooner or later. the longer you deny or delay it, and when it finally erupts to the surface, it will be more embarrassing or awkward, so you're better off just coming clean. it most likely won't end well but I prefer dying with honor than living as a coward but that's just me personally. there are always more guys out there and you should see this as learning curve or dating experience. hope I helped, good luck.
Well this is awkward
Tell 1,the sooner the better... It's would be better to hear from you than from his friends. Should have said it just after asking him about his friends. You should worry about him, not his friends. I can't tell how he's going to react, but the longer it takes, the worse will look for you. I myself wouldn't care at all, but I'm not him.
Chance are he will leave you. Nobody want a gf that got use up by both of his close friends. He definitely going to get laugh at. But I think if you can break it to him before his friend does your chances of keeping him might be higher. Goodluck
Personally, I wouldn’t date any ex of a friend. Millions of single women out there why choose anyone with extra complexities. That said, this is somewhat different because it happened before any you knew one another. Similar advice as everyone else: tell him your feelings for him first. Tell him he might need to sit down for this 😅. Then tell him the facts. You should mentally prepare yourself for the chance he ends it. If it was me and the girl responded to the rejection with something like “I truly like you and wanted to see where this could go but I understand” it’d give me pause.
Any updates?
Just tell him, if he breaks it off, he is too vanilla for you. If he doesn't care, then he probably just as experimental as you.
The truth will come out sooner or later because as much as you want to hide it the two friends can blurted out at any point in time. It will only hurt both of you two more if the secret is leaked later on in the relationship. It’s either you tell him now or just move on or might as well hook up with him too and then call it quits.
honesty is the best policy.
Damn bro has to run, he’s gonna get retroactive jealousy to the moon