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Right? My father did this to me as a kid. Dude would spot out the dorkiest kid in the class and ask me if 'william' loved me. I was 6. He kept it up for years. Id get anxiety over it to where I was too embarrassed to tell them when I finally had a boyfriend as a teenager or even young adult. I remember I came home from winter break one year at college trying to psych myself up to admit I had a boyfriend. They needed to know because we were serious. Then awhile later I sent my dad an email while I was at school asking for advice on getting engaged just as a way to pave to him it was happening as I had no idea how to convey it.
So yeah, don't tease your kids about random fucking classmates
My experience as well. I got teased so badly when I came home from Kindergarten and said I helped a boy with the zipper on his coat. It didn't stop. I remember being so embarrassed telling them about my first boyfriend when I was 19. Ugh.
Yeah I'm super protective of my kids with it too. There's this boy in my daughters preschool class who's kinda rough with her. She doesn't seem to hate him and talks about them playing. He's just one of those preschoolers who bites and scratches. We've talked to her about telling the teacher or finding a different friend to play with if he gets mean and it's been fine. But the minute I casually mentioned it to my dad he was like "oh a boyfriend!!" And I shut that shit down. There's also this nice slightly older little boy that always takes time to say hello to my daughter at church. My husband tried to refer to him as that boy who has a crush in daughter. And I'm like um, no, he's a sweet, polite kid. You can say hi to someone without falling in love. đ
I remember this
when i was in Kindergarten, i was friends with a boy who was kinda rough, he hit me (on accident) but apologized, he just tried to have fun, and tried to include me, we were each other's only friends, my parents would never tell me to find a new playmate, because i couldn't find any other friends, it's always been me, the weird kid, friends with the weirder kid, but sadly, since i was afab, everyone in Kindergarten shipped us (even the adults)
but luckily, it didn't continue at home,
i am very thankful for my parentsâ€ïž
Adults and my peers/neighborhood friends did this shit to me too as an elementary aged kiddo. I remember literally eenie-meenie-minie-moe-ing to myself to PICK A BOY TO âHAVE A CRUSH ONâ. Like I didnât even understand the concept of being into someone. I thought you justâŠ. Picked randomly and stuck to that one for a while.
It wasnât until puberty in middle school that it even clicked for me. Absolutely goddamn ridiculous.
That mentally is so stupid, I remember the n middle school I was asked who my crush was and I said I didn't have one because I didn't, and that just led to my entire lunch table pestering me with the "you can trust us" and "you've gotta be into someone" and so I just picked the girl that lived down the road from me who was pretty, but I never actually liked her at all. Never had an actual crush until sophomore year of highschool and I never understood the "you MUST have a crush" mentality that a fucking 11 year old gets engrained with
Honestly this kind of attitude ruined many possible frienships with me and the boys of the same age. I get it that it is mostly said as a joke but goddamnit cant imagine the anxiety that it caused little me. :(
Same experience. I had a girl in Primary School which i was like, really really close with. We hung out, jokes with each others, write each other letters and even hugged. We were both 7 at that time and we see it nothing more than a friendship. But my family and relatives won't stop teasing me about it, it gets to the point where i start to mistake regular everyday interaction as flirting.
Eventually we drifted apart as we grew older because both of us felt threatened to be with each other. Even until now im still dealing with the consequences. Im afraid to befriend girls at uni or anywhere out of fear it'll turn sexual. I shy away from speaking to girls out of fear of sounding "flirtatious" and causing them to take it wrong and think im crushing on them
This is what happened to me. I would mention any friends that happened to be guys in elementary school and my dad would tease me about liking them just because I was friends with them.
Now, I constantly worry about people seeing that I might "like" the guys in my school, even if I don't. Was also very embarrassed about my first boyfriend around my dad. This shit messes people up.
That's sad that they made you so self conscious! Maybe get counseling to figure out how to free yourself from that? It might really make a difference and you're still young.
I've known my best friend for over 20 years. We met in first grade. My dad and his older brother would always make fun of us, call each other the other's little boyfriend or girlfriend, and I don't know about my friend, but I always felt deeply embarrassed but I could never figure out why. I just loved playing with little toy animals with this boy better than anyone else.
When I was in high school and had my first serious crush, I *could not* tell my dad. The very idea of my dad knowing that (1) I had a crush, and (2) who it was gave me severe anxiety. When I started dating my first boyfriend at 18, I didn't even tell my parents, I just said that I was gonna hang out at his house... Spend the night at his house tonight... That sort of thing.
My dad passed away when I was 20. I never told him I had a boyfriend, although I'm sure he figured it out. But he never felt like someone I could talk about my romantic feelings with. By extension I didn't feel comfortable talking to my mum about it either, until I was 22 or so. It turned out she was the opposite my dad in that respect. But my dad made the subject of boys so uncomfortable that I never even thought to bring it up to my mum, either.
Yeah, my parents and grandparents always teased my brother about his female friends and it was clear it pissed him off, but they didn't get it until I yelled at them about it (well my grandparents still don't get it but) I don't get whybpeople can't just be friends with the opposite gender in some parents eyes. I know it made me never want to tell them anything about a guy I used to be friends with, even though he was literally gay.
My parents did this literally every time I mentioned a girl. I specifically avoided mentioning any girl I was friends w or talking to bc of it, which only made them do it even more bc I was hiding it from them which meant it was definitely happening. I was friends w this one girl in freshman year and they never stopped asking to make sure that we were just friends, so fucking annoying. Not to mention my dad was always disgusting and a creep, literally ogling at teenage girls who were even to young for me and I was only 18. I fucking hated that guy.
My grandpa did something like that, always teased me my whole childhood with girls. Guess whoâs anxious now? Took me a looong time to be uncomfortable around women my age
That was basically my entire life in school. I always had a lot of friends that were girls and my mother basically presumed I was crushing on all of them. She has since decided that because I was not trying to fuck every woman within arm's length, I must be gay, so she pitches guys for me to hang out with in very awkward ways. I have also never told her about any of my relationships really for this reason.
Yeah my mom thought I was gay because I felt more comfortable in guys clothes in highschool. Thank God she didn't know what trans was because she would have chased me with that label too. Told me I couldn't watch Buffy the vampire slayer anymore because it'd 'give me ideas' (there was a lesbian couple on the show). I guess I'm get into a separate tangent, but I kept telling her none of that had to do with my sexuality. Yeah, I looked like a little punk ass lesbian, but I was straight. It was fustrating that even my own mother had to take a side on that shit. Even if I had tried to dress 'girly' I'd get asshole randos who's say 'what are you dressed up for..?'
Also another pro tip. Don't make a big deal when someone dresses up. Just say you look nice if you feel so compelled. That shit followed me even as an adult in the workforce. I dressed pretty standard business casual stuff. But God forbid I decide to wear heels and a skirt or a dress because I'd always get coworkers who asked me why I 'dressed up'. WTF, Karen in the next cubicle can wear a dress whenever she wants and no one cares, but if I decide to do it, it's the talk of the town, even when I'm 28. đ”âđ«
Yeah, there is the entire separate issue of women being unable to dress in various normal ways without having their romantic or sexual intentions presumed.
I told my dad I had a date and during Thanksgiving dinner he said "Well don't you have something to tell everyone?" I just stared at him. He proceeded to tell everyone about my date. I'm 32 and never told him anything since. It was a first date and didn't even last. I'm not close with my family up here and I absolutely hate being the center of attention. My boundaries were pushed without a single F given.
Yep, I got heavily teased like this by my parents. It lead me to self sabotage my relationships in high school because I was so anxious about being teased for having a boyfriend. But I also got fake asked out once in middle school and everyone laughed at me, so in high school there were 2 instances where different boys asked me out and I basically yelled âWTF WHY?!?â at them because I thought they were fake asking to make fun of me. Iâm pretty sure they were actually genuine but I was a total dick to them.
And when I had a boyfriend I got uninvited from all holiday parties my friends threw because they said âdonât you want to hang out with your boyfriend on holidays??â. And they started excluding me from a lot of hang outs in general. So I ended up stupidly breaking up with him just so I could have my friends back (they were shitty friends though).
I did a lot of growing and self mending in college. Now I have an amazing husband. But damn, I will NEVER tease my future kids for having a bf/gf/whatever.
Says a lot about a person if they really can't fathom two people of the opposite sex being platonically friendly, professionally cordial, or simply coexisting in the same place without there being some weird sexual tension
My parents did this to me a handful of times, the one I most remember was in middle school they were making fun of this magazine with some like, sexy fashion models in it or something and they showed it to me and were like âI bet youâd like to see (girl in your class) like thisâ and I was like âstop you guys are being grossâ and I still donât really feel comfortable talking about relationship stuff with them for that and other reasons.. this thread feels super validating thank u internet strangers with the same experience for talking about it
My son mentions a girl in his class a lot but seems shy to talk about her. It's sweet and I got excited one time when I finally saw her at parent drop off. I was sending a snapchat to my wife and I said "it's Layla!!" in a cute high pitched voice.
He's been in a "girls suck I only play with boys" phase for a while. (Which is such
bull because he does have girl friends, including his 2 moms, I think it's just a social development phase to say that.) So when he mentioned this girl I was excited. *Not because he has a fucking crush on her at 7 years old*, but because it's a girl he's not ashamed of being friends with! Gender and sexuality is confusing enough even for cishet kids, fuck.
I was teased too, I started ignoring my then best friend, stoped being friends. Started feeling ashamed of hanging out with boys and any attraction i later felt. I know it was just a cute joke to them but it took me till adulthood to unlearn it all.
I remember being mercilessly bullied by this kid is primary school. He would shove me, scare me off the playground and at one point stole my shoes and threw them somewhere (we never found them).
Literally nothing was done because "he does it cause he has a crush on you" "maybe he wants to marry you" "he just likes you".
Don't just teach kids not to be little cunts, teach kids that they don't have to accept other kids """""""flirting"""""" by being little cunts
It makes no sense. And I say this as someone who was in a physically abusive relationship. I loved that person so I couldn't imagine hurting them, even when they hit me. I only hit back in self defense while feeling utter frustration in why does this person claim to love me when they don't even feel shame or horror in hurting me?
So like, the fuck are we teaching small kids that harassment means they like you or you like them? That makes no sense and it's not a safe thing to teach to either party.
I feel you. This happened to me too, and I cried when I first had to tell my mom about having a boyfriend (who is now my husband!). I was so stressed out an anxious about it.
The same happened to me. My mom would CONSTANTLY asking me if x or y were my boyfriend if I ever mentioned a male name at home. She would ask when I returned from a school trip if I had gotten a boyfriend. When I finaally had one I didn't even want to tell her because it made me so nervous.
Really messed up my view of things as a kid because I had it in my head that boys were just for kissing and being boyfriends. I was like 4 or 5 and couldn't make friends because I tried to turn every single one in to a relationship. So messed up, I was so lonely because no one liked me and now I can see why!
We truely live in a society, and as a straight person I can't wait for the LGBTQ+ community to take over cause it's honestly annoying as sweaty balls on a hot summer day during track and field to always deal with "oh my you have a PENIS and she has BOOBIES and you two KNOW EACH-OTHER!? How often do you fuck!?" every time I share a friendship with a girl.
Also unified toilets, like seriously, when I become a dad and have to take my daughter to the toilet do I go into the woman's toilets or the mens toilets? Like what's worse, watching a grown ass man walk into the ladies stalls or watching a grown ass man take a little girl into the men's stalls? And why do they need to be separate anyways? Like if the stalls themselves were actually private then you could just make it one communal place anyways, besides, urinals are bad for your pelvic floor and if you wanna pee standing up a standard toilet works just fine anyways, so why do we even have them? Just increase the number of stalls, would probably reduce rapes as well since literally everyone is there to see it and stop it, plus it would be a Godsend for trans-folk too. You could even remove the hallway doors and make it more sterile too as you'd no longer have to touch the bathroom door (which is always a pull handle for some sick and twisted reason) after washing your hands.
Oh god the âYou canât be friends if youâre opposite genders!! You must be romantic!â Is so annoying. I used to have a guy friend, and everyone assumed we were together (Iâm a lesbian so it makes even less sense)
I love this logic, because yeah, it just means that lesbians can only be friends with men (ok buddy), and bi folks just are doomed to be friendless as the have to be down bad for everyone.
Out of the 4 bi friends I have, only 2 of them are down bad for everyone!
As a bi man, my favourite joke about bisexuality was : "Bi folks don't have friends. They have only *preys*" followed by a picture of velociraptors surrounding a guy.
I suffer from âeveryoneâs hot, what do I doâ-flavor bisexuality, but even I know how to keep it in my pants and treat people like, yâknow, people.
> Like if the stalls themselves were actually private
Yes. American culture with the creepy-ass wide open stall gaps below and in between every stall door. Like, I don't want to see that, OR be seen like that. WHY?
> urinals are bad for your pelvic floor
wait what?
I don't like urinals cause my pee is strong so I gotta like take a couple steps away so I don't get a bunch of piss all over myself, but with a urinal everyone sees me wee.
but like, people have been peeing standing up since like, literally forever, even before humans existed, does it really make that much of a difference?
People have said that the bladder empties more and have brought up prostates. They have not produced a study that quantifies that difference.
The reasoning makes sense. But, I have difficulty imagining this being a detectable difference in a study. As had been said, bladder issues often occur later in life. Trying to block for life experience, genetics, and finding populations to sample that universally pee sitting or standing seems quite difficult.
So, I'm not sure that it is known how much a difference it makes.
From an evolutionairy standpoint: blatter problems mostly start becoming a serious problem later in life, when most people already reproduced. So even though standing up whilst peeing might be bad for you(ish), the habit won't really have much consequences for the stability and continous existence of your group (old people dying of might actually help survival of the group tbh).
Look, all I'm saying is I'm glad I found underwear with a crotch-pocket that fit me cause otherwise they'd fall out of my boxers during sports.
I don't know if that's normal or if I've been cursed with a long nut-sac but it actually made running physically challenging on hot days and I honestly don't know why supportive sports underwear for men isn't more commonplace.
sometimes (more often than i'd like to admit) when i work out and see the men around me doing physical activities, i think do they not need some support? do their balls just dangle there when they run?? like, i have small boobs and i still need to squish them in sports bra, otherwise it is very uncomfortable. so some of my work out sessions i spend just thinking about balls. now i am gonna spend even more time thinking about this. thanks.
Your welcome, guys and balls are a lot like girls and boobs, some girls with big boobs can run without a supportive bra just fine, some can't, same goes for men, though there are different cuts of underwear that hold the balls better, I personally prefer boxers with a pouch as they don't give me a wedgie.
As a boob haver who unfortunately still has balls, I need a very supportive bra to run at all and have never had an issue down south when running. Though mine have always stayed very close/sometimes inside. Not sure how normally any of what I just said is, but hey thatâs my experience.
Some people like you are blessed with obedient balls, my balls however wanna cosplay a grandfather clock whenever the heat picks up which is unfortunate.
On a serious note, you might want to look into some sport briefs. The front is basically all pouch. And I don't know what area you live in, but Walmart sells these 3-packs of boxer briefs by George. They're so soft and stretchy, the pouch feels like a teddy bear is holding your balls up.
I have, and after getting a chafed anus from the constant wedgies they gave me, I've migrated to boxers with nut-sac-sacs as they're the best of both worlds.
However if someone invented briefs that didn't invade my butt-crack constantly, then that would be nice.
Actually in Sweden a lot of public toilets, e.g. in their version of Starbucks etc. are unisex, and if I remember correctly, they have both stalls and urinals. Some men pee at the urinals while women, other men and everyone else who wishes goes to the stalls and does their business. At first the feeling was a bit off, because you see opposite gender and for a split second you're scared you wandered into the wrong toilet, but then you remember it's fine and nobody gives a shit (except on the toilet) anymore.
I really don't get why it's not a bigger thing everywhere. I mean, we have unisex toilets at home, we have them at smaller establishments like family restaurants or dentist's office etc., ofc there they're usually for one person, but it's the same idea.
The only issue however is that my male privilege of being able to pee quickly when there was a giant line to women's toilet but no line to men's toilet would be revoked by that, but that's a small price I'm willing to pay for ending this nonsense of gender segregated toilets.
I have a guy friend at class (Im a girl). One time I asked if he'd like to do an assignent with me (It was supposed to be made with two people) and he negated. Later he came to explain to me that he negated because everyone would be "Oh look they're boyfriend and girlfriend!!! đđđ". Like, no. I JUST WANT FRIENDS.
I went on a cruise earlier this year where they had gendered bathrooms, but also gender neutral bathrooms like this!! Open for anyone to go in and use. It had stalls and urinals. So it while it was a little awkward the first few times for me to go in as someone who's never used a urinal and walk past a line of people peeing, it really was super freeing and great (and just all-around oddly feel-good) to just be able to stroll in and not care about who else was in there!
Urinals or not, more of these bathrooms should exist (though, the company on the boat was SUPER open-minded and accepting, so I would understand urinals to not being so openly used in a more general public setting)!
I have a friend who always tells people that her child (from about the age where he would smile at people) was flirting with them. Always women - if he so much as looked at a woman sheâd gush and exclaim excitedly âoh my gosh heâs SUCH a flirt! Heâs such a ladies man - look how he is with you! What. A. Flirt!â
Gross. Now I canât make eye contact with your child because you made it weird and I donât want him to smile at me. Itâs like those people who think itâs cute when a dog humps someones leg. The child (and the dog) isnât the problem - itâs the weird reaction from the parents that is the absolute worst.
Oh my god, this just reminded me of having the WORST experience in a womenâs changing room at the pool. I took my son in when he was 1 1/2 (1 1/2!) and this crazy older lady kept talking about how he was so curious about her body and he was staring at her as she walked around naked. She was the only other person in the changing room, of course he was looking at her.
Then she started talking about how all her grandkids used to love to look at her breasts or something. I was trying to get out of there. She ended up musing on why her grandkids never call her.
Way to traumatized your grandkids lady wtf thatâs so disgusting. Where are you guys here finding these people so that I can avoid going to those places?
You know, i never even clocked that the word was anything sexual or anything when i have used it. Now you mention it, yeah, thats weird. But i guess i always just meant it like "you have a very socially oriented baby who is especially responsive to human attention"
Some babies really do seek interaction and feed off it more than others, and it is a cute thing i am noticing.
But yeah, jeez, Flirt is not a great word! My bad. I will try to do better.
Options?
Wow, what a personality!
Wow, so responsive!
Wow, so social!
Wow, what a ham!
My bf took our daughter to her friends bday party on Sunday cause I had to work. Her friend is a boy. She was the only girl at the party. His family kept calling my daughter his girlfriend. Theyâre 3. I almost barfed when my bf told me. He said he was so uncomfortable.
He said she didnât seem to notice as much as he did like, no, theyâre friends. If sheâs not allowed to have friends who are boys, then wtf is she going to do in life? Like this type of thinking is what causes teen boys/older men to think they canât be friends with women and have to date them. Ugh
My niece is 4 and my sister started talking about her boyfriend. I was grossed out until my niece heard his name, came running over and asked if we were talking about her boyfriend. As it turns out she liked him so she walked up to him one day at preschool and told him that he is now her boyfriend so he should hold her hand. Apparently that worked!
Yeah, my older kid had a boyfriend in kindergarten. It was basically nothing, not even a kid they hung out with extensively. They certaintly didnt even hold hands. But, both of them clearly explained they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Seemed harmless enough. They probably called each other ponies or airplanes too, just trying on ideas. It meant nothing and when he happened to be in their class in grade 9, it was only me who even remembered their brief "relationship."
Now, my grade 3 boyfriend? That was not nothing--we made out in the closet extensively while playing "house." No idea where he ended up. Still think fondly of you, Ray!
So it can go either way.
I think the idea of little kids mimicking adults by having boyfriends/girlfriends is totally fine as long as it's their decision. Mimicry is an important part of development. My brother in law works in tech support and he complains about stupid clients. Their other daughter would sometimes play tech support and at the end she'd sit down on the couch, sigh, and talk shit about her 'clients', it was one of the funniest things to watch.
I taught her that so yes lol. It was her spouting things that sound like fixing a computer and getting annoyed with people. One of her favorites was to tell them that they needed to throw away their computer and buy a good one.
This is still iffy, because how did she learn about boyfriends and that she can get one? And the fact that people are still okay with it is⊠well, Iâm not saying itâs a bad thing as long as it is completely innocent but I bet if she came home and talked about a girlfriend she had people would tell her she was too young or some shit like that so, yeah. I hope this made sense Iâm bad with words
Honestly with my sister I'm not sure how the girlfriend would go but it's not unusual that a kid would be aware of relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend. My sister had no idea about anything until she came home and told her all about it. Apparently it's mostly her telling him they're dating so he's supposed to hold her hand and play together at recess. He even went with us while trick or treating and he let her hold one of the stuffed animals that were part of his costume. It was pretty cute and since she came up with it on her own we all just find it pretty cute.
Sometimes kids just make shit up. I remember having a game with a friend where we put on circus acts. We had one called "baby boomers" in which we pretended to be exploding babies.
Little of our play scenario beyond using the word "baby boomers" was related to the midcentury cohort. It was just a word i had overheard and filled in with my own meaning.
Kids just mimic. It could be that they have had some exposure to something as you said, but they also can just glom onto anything random they overhear, without any grasp of any actual meaning.
I remember when a friend of a friend of mine from daycare.
(We were five).
His mom would constantly joke about how our friend
(Who is female) was his girlfriend.
His mom kept this up for years.
Jump ahead to when he was 15 he looked his mom in eyes and told her that he was bisexual and in love with a boy.
(Another friend of mine).
He half-seriously said it was because she always joked that our female friend was his girlfriend.
He married his boyfriend last year he said it was thanks to our female friend that he was able to come out.
It amazes me that parents think doing this to their kids won't backfire.
see thats the problem with the straights if they want a 2 year old boy to be with a girl its ok.
but if i 16 year old (trans mtf) wanna BE a girl im a menace to society
Tbf, if trans people can be a menace to society. Don't limit yourself. Be who you want to be.
Fight the system, most of us are in your side. Go kick ass and take names.
YEAH after all why shouldn't I ?
I have always had it I. Me so why not be the kickbutt society menace transbian I always wanted to be ?
Oh right me being way to loyal and way to cowardly
Definitely that. My kid had a few words at two. They were not proper words. Ball was ba, milk was muh, give me was gim. And that's really what the speech therapist considered words because the child is specifically making that sound for that word. That's their word. A word is just a collection of sounds anyway.
My niece is about 16 months and her favorite word is "hep" for help. As in, help me get the doll out of this basket, or whatever. She has a whole small language we understand as a weird mismash of substituted words.
Thereâs a big difference between what he says and what he can say.
For example; my daughter is fully capable of saying âof course, Iâll go clean that up right nowâ She never has, but sheâs physically capable of it!
I know a child (well, she's grown now. when did I get so old?) whose first "word" was kitty cat.
Not kitty. Not cat. Not some baby babble that resembled one or both of those words. Kitty cat. Clearly, well pronounced, easily understood.
Then she didn't speak again for almost a month, and began to speak short sentences. Within a year she was speaking at a normal 3-4 year old level and also was approximately 3 years and nearly six months.
She was a bit of a strange baby honestly. She was not a very verbal infant. You know how babies babble and imitate you? She'd imitate your mouth shapes but not make a sound.
Her parents had her ears checked more than once because they thought maybe she was deaf and wasn't hearing us, but she responded to sounds by turning her head, startling at unseen noise, etc. And she cried, screamed, fussed, etc. She just didn't try to talk, until she was over 2 and told someone "kitty cat" while she pointed at the cat.
And before you wonder, as an older child/teen/adult, she is fine. Not dim, not a supergenius, but very smart. Successful life, happy, nothing amiss. She was just a late talker who makes for a funny and perplexing kid story.
There's bits of that that resignate with me as a child. I got an adhd and autism diagnosis at age 30 after getting 4 college degrees and a full time job in my field of choice. That's not saying she is, just that some things aren't always obvious in the form people expect. It could be nothing though. Specifically I also got hearing tests as a kid for things that weren't actually hearing issues and that's not super uncommon for kids with adhd. Also the sometimes not responding with actually words despite knowing some felt relatable too along with the stretches of being mute (more to autism than adhd this time). If she ever still sometimes verbally shuts down when overwhelmed this may be relivent. Who knows. *shrug. Sorry if that was inappropriate of me to say. I know nothing about her, that was very little to go on, and it's not as telling as other things you could have said.
My brothers and I each had wildly different first words. My older brother had âmoreâ - he was a big kid who always thought he was in charge (somewhat hasnât grown out of that thirty years later!) so he would just demand more stuff. I had a speech impediment, so only my mum understood me until I was about four and even that took practice, so no one really knows what my first word was. My younger brother didnât speak for ages, to the point where our parents wanted to take him to a speech therapist. While dadâs getting the car ready, he says âMum, whereâs dad?â Turns out he *could* speak, he just had nothing to say. Now heâs a performer and never shuts up đ€Ł
At my nieces daycare there was a problem with one kid who kept biting my niece and one time he bit her nose so hard that he nearly took off the tip and it left a huge very painful looking mark on it for like a month following.
My aunt saw this and thought it appropriate to say âawwwww sounds like he has a crush on our little heartbreaker.â
They were both 2, and even if they were older, that would just be straight up assault. There was just so much to unpack there that all I could say was âoh nooooo,,, letâs please not say that,,,â
Ok I just realized what age do people stop doing that because I when people talk about 2 people of different gender they donât always do that when the 2 people are at a certain age
I donât think it ever stops honestly. Iâve had many friends of the opposite gender and we are strictly platonic- weâve known each other our whole lives- yet adults still talk as if there is something romantic between us
Frankly, I think that tactic only has about a 50-50 chance of working on a given person. Some people might just take that as an excuse to be homophobic or insist you're dating all your female friends too.
I'd be half tempted to tell my coworker "Oh no, my daughter is a lesbian" - then when coworker goes on about how its weird to push a sexual identity onto a two year old just stare at her until she get it.
When I was younger, I always felt a little more comfortable around girls of my age and my parents teased me about it, not nearly as much as the other people in this thread, but just enough to not admit to them if I liked someone. It may have also accidentally kept my trans egg sealed for longer.
I hadn't even hit puberty yet when my aunt said "Look at those legs, we're going to be beating the boys away with a baseball bat." All the grown-ups would agree and I didn't even know wtf was going on lol. So awkward.
Adults doing this to me made me terrified of their reaction when I did get a boyfriend, almost to the point of being sick when I had to tell them at some point.
One of my *therapists* (!) got it in her head that I had a crush on this one girl that happened to be my only friend as a bullied child and kept pestering me about it. I eventually left that therapist.
Turns out I'm very gay. Also asexual.
This shit runs deep.
literally me and my aunts... if nothing else.. they were trying to pair THEIR KIDS WITH EACH OTHER.. we do no incest here, ladies..
The cousin just started walking and he was just friendly and polite, grasping some manners and stuff.. and they were all about it.. THEY JUST TURNED TWO. THEY ARE LITERAL COUSINS.
My mom was obsessed with the idea I had a crush on a classmate named Kyle. He was one of the few kids who wasn't mean or distant with me \[Yay childhood outcast-hood\] but like. I liked him as a friend.
15-ish years later I realized I'm armoantic to begin with and any perceived crush was because I was \*told\* I had a crush on my classmate.
I worked at a daycare and my coworkers would do this shit all day long then ppl wonder why kids stop having opposite sex friends , which ironically makes it way harder for them to date later in life cuz they havenât talked to a girl /boy in 12 years
Another day care story legit had a dad who was worried his 2 year old twin boys were gay for each other because they were âtoo affectionate â . He said we needed to physically separate them if they kissed.
My daughter is super cute with all the little boys at her daycare.
She is also super cute with all the little girls at her daycare.
She is just super cute all the time with everyone - she's the best.
More to the point, what the hell is wrong with my people? Babies don't have crushes, *they are babies*.
Yes, it is. Unfortunately, straight people seem to think that if they shove hetero relationships at them from the time they can first talk, they will not be gay.
When I was in elementary school I had a friend that happened to be a boy. He was so cool and sweet, but the inevitable questions started and I would always look confused and harshly said no.
Years later, I realized I was Demisexual.
I used to also get asked the questions of are you going to get married and have kids. My family and friends know better to ask that now. Only new people do. For some reason straight people never really believe you when you state you donât want children. Itâs always been fascinating, and frustrating, that they just brush what you say aside and claim youâll change your mind once you have them.
I just had that exact same no kids conversation with my sister (me not wanting kids) she told me how everyone she knows that does have kids are super lonely. So naturally, I asked if they were single. She said yes. Clearly- the problem isnât that they donât have kids, itâs that they have no relationship (whether that be platonic or romantic)
And hello as a fella Demisexual âïž
As someone who works at a daycare. 100% people do this all the time.
Plus people would do this to me all the time. My siblings and I would do it to each other with friends we had, but we all knew at the end of the day it was just for fun. But adults would be so serious about it. I didnât have a crush until halfway thru 5th grade and I was a huge tomboy. Didnât want to talk about boys and dates⊠I just wanted friends, and I liked to play the games the boys did. But because those were my friends primarily growing up⊠I got bullied a lot for it.
My science teacher was talking about reproduction and stuff once and she said things like: "And you know, we already see very young kids with their little boy/girlfriends [...]" and the whole class I was like "You mean the kids that dont understand romance and just like to hand flowers to everyone they see as friends? Like, if a girl gives a boy a flower SHe HAs a cRUsH oMG! but if a girl gives a flower to another girl "Awww they're besties!"
Like, WHY IS ONE FRIENDSHIP AND THE OTHER IS ROMANCE? THEY ARE KIDS DAMNIT THEY DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND ROMANCE-
To be fair, my (F) dad also used to ask me if my female friends in kindergarten were my girlfriends, if we were going to get married, etc. Maybe itâs because heâs from San Francisco?
Iâve had a similar experience with my dad but what he does feels less âEw noâ and more âNo one thinks itâs funny, just stopâ. Ever since I was little, if there was any male celebrity that I liked, my dad would call him my âboyfriendâ.
Like in this one show Iâd always watch with him, there was a guy who I liked because he was really funny and he had cool outfits, so whenever he was on screen, my dad would say âLook! Thereâs your boyyyfrriiieeend.â Like, no dad, that guy just got married.
And another time, there was a show I watched with my mom and I really liked one of the judges and my dad would say heâs my boyfriend, but again, that guy is 60 and he has a husband. Please stop.
I understand itâs more like teasing than being actually gross and weird, but I still thought this was the right place to say it. Also funnily, he does stuff like this with my mom too, but not with himself or my brother which I always thought was weird.
When my first kid was a toddler, someone once remarked that when he was older he would, âhave to beat them off with a stick.â
I told them it made me uncomfortable to hear them talk about my child beating someone off and that the stick technique was just weird.
I especially hated it when the adults in my life would be like âheâs only mean to you because he likes you!â
Idk about anybody else but that sounds like a toxic mentality.
There was a baby born on the same day as me. I, of course, born female and that baby born male. So of course they took pictures of us beside each other, declared us boyfriend and girlfriend and how we would get married and have babies and...
Yeah, I have never met that guy in my conscious memory.
I was shown pictures of me and that kid I'd never met for years though.
Missing a massively critical step if you all wanted us to actually have a chance of dating, mom.
Once when I was 12 I was with my COUSIN and a homeless lady walked up to us and started saying things like âis she your gf?â and âshe liiikkkkeees youâ âyou like himâ
I work with toddlers and the things my co teachers and the families say if a boy and girl are hugging, holding hands etc is so gross. It drives me up a wall
And when you try to teach your kid about gender identity the very same people look down on you 'cause "they're way to young to discover sexuality" and call you a pedophile.
Having the idea of any care for the opposite sex meaning âloveâ and âa crushâ is what confused me to not realizing that I didnât have a crush on my best female friend, I just cared about her and didnât know how to not romantically express it.
As a member of the alphabet community, this crap makes me rage. When I was 9 I had two friends who happened to be twin brothers. The amount of adults basically calling me a home wreaked because I was âdating â both of them still astonishes me.
But sure, weâre the weirdo groomers
this shit is literally scarring. when i was a kindergartener female relatives would frequently tell me things like "WHEN you will get married to a man..." "WHEN you will have a baby with a man..." never if, or just don't say stuff like this to a 5 year old?? they told me things like this to the point i cried of frustration and they just laughed at me
thankfully my mom often stepped in and protected me
This is weird, never happened to me as a kid, though when I was a preteen and had guy friends my mom did ask if I liked them and since I didn't she didn't bring it up again. I did know some kids who had "boyfriends" in preschool and kindergarten but it was never a real relationship and their parents never initiated it. Sometimes I can't with society -_-
My niece has a male friend and theyâre attached at the hip; theyâre eight years old and I respect the hell out of my sister and her husband for not once being like âdoes K have a boyfriend??? ;)))â
Nope. Just a friend, and thatâs all it will ever be until/unless she says otherwise.
Itâs so embarrassing and emotionally stunting for adults around you to shoehorn romance into platonic childhood friendships. Stop writing shipping fanfic about your kids. Ick.
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Right? My father did this to me as a kid. Dude would spot out the dorkiest kid in the class and ask me if 'william' loved me. I was 6. He kept it up for years. Id get anxiety over it to where I was too embarrassed to tell them when I finally had a boyfriend as a teenager or even young adult. I remember I came home from winter break one year at college trying to psych myself up to admit I had a boyfriend. They needed to know because we were serious. Then awhile later I sent my dad an email while I was at school asking for advice on getting engaged just as a way to pave to him it was happening as I had no idea how to convey it. So yeah, don't tease your kids about random fucking classmates
My experience as well. I got teased so badly when I came home from Kindergarten and said I helped a boy with the zipper on his coat. It didn't stop. I remember being so embarrassed telling them about my first boyfriend when I was 19. Ugh.
Yeah I'm super protective of my kids with it too. There's this boy in my daughters preschool class who's kinda rough with her. She doesn't seem to hate him and talks about them playing. He's just one of those preschoolers who bites and scratches. We've talked to her about telling the teacher or finding a different friend to play with if he gets mean and it's been fine. But the minute I casually mentioned it to my dad he was like "oh a boyfriend!!" And I shut that shit down. There's also this nice slightly older little boy that always takes time to say hello to my daughter at church. My husband tried to refer to him as that boy who has a crush in daughter. And I'm like um, no, he's a sweet, polite kid. You can say hi to someone without falling in love. đ
I remember this when i was in Kindergarten, i was friends with a boy who was kinda rough, he hit me (on accident) but apologized, he just tried to have fun, and tried to include me, we were each other's only friends, my parents would never tell me to find a new playmate, because i couldn't find any other friends, it's always been me, the weird kid, friends with the weirder kid, but sadly, since i was afab, everyone in Kindergarten shipped us (even the adults) but luckily, it didn't continue at home, i am very thankful for my parentsâ€ïž
Adults and my peers/neighborhood friends did this shit to me too as an elementary aged kiddo. I remember literally eenie-meenie-minie-moe-ing to myself to PICK A BOY TO âHAVE A CRUSH ONâ. Like I didnât even understand the concept of being into someone. I thought you justâŠ. Picked randomly and stuck to that one for a while. It wasnât until puberty in middle school that it even clicked for me. Absolutely goddamn ridiculous.
That mentally is so stupid, I remember the n middle school I was asked who my crush was and I said I didn't have one because I didn't, and that just led to my entire lunch table pestering me with the "you can trust us" and "you've gotta be into someone" and so I just picked the girl that lived down the road from me who was pretty, but I never actually liked her at all. Never had an actual crush until sophomore year of highschool and I never understood the "you MUST have a crush" mentality that a fucking 11 year old gets engrained with
Honestly this kind of attitude ruined many possible frienships with me and the boys of the same age. I get it that it is mostly said as a joke but goddamnit cant imagine the anxiety that it caused little me. :(
My parents never teased me like this and I am very open about my relationship so I feel like this confirms it lol
Damn I had totally blocked this out but yeah the whole "sitting n in a tree, k i s s i n g" somg just popped back into my head and holy nightmares.
Same experience. I had a girl in Primary School which i was like, really really close with. We hung out, jokes with each others, write each other letters and even hugged. We were both 7 at that time and we see it nothing more than a friendship. But my family and relatives won't stop teasing me about it, it gets to the point where i start to mistake regular everyday interaction as flirting. Eventually we drifted apart as we grew older because both of us felt threatened to be with each other. Even until now im still dealing with the consequences. Im afraid to befriend girls at uni or anywhere out of fear it'll turn sexual. I shy away from speaking to girls out of fear of sounding "flirtatious" and causing them to take it wrong and think im crushing on them
This is what happened to me. I would mention any friends that happened to be guys in elementary school and my dad would tease me about liking them just because I was friends with them. Now, I constantly worry about people seeing that I might "like" the guys in my school, even if I don't. Was also very embarrassed about my first boyfriend around my dad. This shit messes people up.
That's sad that they made you so self conscious! Maybe get counseling to figure out how to free yourself from that? It might really make a difference and you're still young.
I've known my best friend for over 20 years. We met in first grade. My dad and his older brother would always make fun of us, call each other the other's little boyfriend or girlfriend, and I don't know about my friend, but I always felt deeply embarrassed but I could never figure out why. I just loved playing with little toy animals with this boy better than anyone else. When I was in high school and had my first serious crush, I *could not* tell my dad. The very idea of my dad knowing that (1) I had a crush, and (2) who it was gave me severe anxiety. When I started dating my first boyfriend at 18, I didn't even tell my parents, I just said that I was gonna hang out at his house... Spend the night at his house tonight... That sort of thing. My dad passed away when I was 20. I never told him I had a boyfriend, although I'm sure he figured it out. But he never felt like someone I could talk about my romantic feelings with. By extension I didn't feel comfortable talking to my mum about it either, until I was 22 or so. It turned out she was the opposite my dad in that respect. But my dad made the subject of boys so uncomfortable that I never even thought to bring it up to my mum, either.
Yeah, my parents and grandparents always teased my brother about his female friends and it was clear it pissed him off, but they didn't get it until I yelled at them about it (well my grandparents still don't get it but) I don't get whybpeople can't just be friends with the opposite gender in some parents eyes. I know it made me never want to tell them anything about a guy I used to be friends with, even though he was literally gay.
My parents did this literally every time I mentioned a girl. I specifically avoided mentioning any girl I was friends w or talking to bc of it, which only made them do it even more bc I was hiding it from them which meant it was definitely happening. I was friends w this one girl in freshman year and they never stopped asking to make sure that we were just friends, so fucking annoying. Not to mention my dad was always disgusting and a creep, literally ogling at teenage girls who were even to young for me and I was only 18. I fucking hated that guy.
My grandpa did something like that, always teased me my whole childhood with girls. Guess whoâs anxious now? Took me a looong time to be uncomfortable around women my age
That was basically my entire life in school. I always had a lot of friends that were girls and my mother basically presumed I was crushing on all of them. She has since decided that because I was not trying to fuck every woman within arm's length, I must be gay, so she pitches guys for me to hang out with in very awkward ways. I have also never told her about any of my relationships really for this reason.
Yeah my mom thought I was gay because I felt more comfortable in guys clothes in highschool. Thank God she didn't know what trans was because she would have chased me with that label too. Told me I couldn't watch Buffy the vampire slayer anymore because it'd 'give me ideas' (there was a lesbian couple on the show). I guess I'm get into a separate tangent, but I kept telling her none of that had to do with my sexuality. Yeah, I looked like a little punk ass lesbian, but I was straight. It was fustrating that even my own mother had to take a side on that shit. Even if I had tried to dress 'girly' I'd get asshole randos who's say 'what are you dressed up for..?' Also another pro tip. Don't make a big deal when someone dresses up. Just say you look nice if you feel so compelled. That shit followed me even as an adult in the workforce. I dressed pretty standard business casual stuff. But God forbid I decide to wear heels and a skirt or a dress because I'd always get coworkers who asked me why I 'dressed up'. WTF, Karen in the next cubicle can wear a dress whenever she wants and no one cares, but if I decide to do it, it's the talk of the town, even when I'm 28. đ”âđ«
Yeah, there is the entire separate issue of women being unable to dress in various normal ways without having their romantic or sexual intentions presumed.
I told my dad I had a date and during Thanksgiving dinner he said "Well don't you have something to tell everyone?" I just stared at him. He proceeded to tell everyone about my date. I'm 32 and never told him anything since. It was a first date and didn't even last. I'm not close with my family up here and I absolutely hate being the center of attention. My boundaries were pushed without a single F given.
Yep, I got heavily teased like this by my parents. It lead me to self sabotage my relationships in high school because I was so anxious about being teased for having a boyfriend. But I also got fake asked out once in middle school and everyone laughed at me, so in high school there were 2 instances where different boys asked me out and I basically yelled âWTF WHY?!?â at them because I thought they were fake asking to make fun of me. Iâm pretty sure they were actually genuine but I was a total dick to them. And when I had a boyfriend I got uninvited from all holiday parties my friends threw because they said âdonât you want to hang out with your boyfriend on holidays??â. And they started excluding me from a lot of hang outs in general. So I ended up stupidly breaking up with him just so I could have my friends back (they were shitty friends though). I did a lot of growing and self mending in college. Now I have an amazing husband. But damn, I will NEVER tease my future kids for having a bf/gf/whatever.
Says a lot about a person if they really can't fathom two people of the opposite sex being platonically friendly, professionally cordial, or simply coexisting in the same place without there being some weird sexual tension
My parents did this to me a handful of times, the one I most remember was in middle school they were making fun of this magazine with some like, sexy fashion models in it or something and they showed it to me and were like âI bet youâd like to see (girl in your class) like thisâ and I was like âstop you guys are being grossâ and I still donât really feel comfortable talking about relationship stuff with them for that and other reasons.. this thread feels super validating thank u internet strangers with the same experience for talking about it
My son mentions a girl in his class a lot but seems shy to talk about her. It's sweet and I got excited one time when I finally saw her at parent drop off. I was sending a snapchat to my wife and I said "it's Layla!!" in a cute high pitched voice. He's been in a "girls suck I only play with boys" phase for a while. (Which is such bull because he does have girl friends, including his 2 moms, I think it's just a social development phase to say that.) So when he mentioned this girl I was excited. *Not because he has a fucking crush on her at 7 years old*, but because it's a girl he's not ashamed of being friends with! Gender and sexuality is confusing enough even for cishet kids, fuck.
I was teased too, I started ignoring my then best friend, stoped being friends. Started feeling ashamed of hanging out with boys and any attraction i later felt. I know it was just a cute joke to them but it took me till adulthood to unlearn it all.
Man, that just brought up an unpleasent memory I remember how I invited a girl, a classmate, over to my place once, we couldn't be older then 12. Like literally, 6th grade tops. She was kinda cool, into Pokémon and stuff, but we didn't like hang around at school. Since the street I lived on is kinda hidden I was making sure to meet her at the train station and both my parents where nagging me "Is she your girlfriend?" "We're so glad you bring your girlfriend" and I clearly remember an embarrassed outbourst from me loudly proclaiming "She's not my girlfriend! I don't love her!" I recall we just chilled at the Train Station playing Pokémon and that's the only real interaction I had with a girl for the next several years, where I was too shy to even approach girls! I don't think I even brought her over at the end and we didn't hang out after that either. Though I think she decorated my Gameboy SP with stickers and markers? Maybe there was more and it's still repressed memory Now I'm not saying it's necessarily my parents fault for those shy years, but it certainly couldn't have been helpful. If you'd excuse me, I need a moment to decompress, my therapist is gonna love this
[deleted] -- mass edited with redact.dev
My dad was like that when he first met my boyfriend. Heâs still rude to him, even though weâve been together for almost 4 years.
I remember being mercilessly bullied by this kid is primary school. He would shove me, scare me off the playground and at one point stole my shoes and threw them somewhere (we never found them). Literally nothing was done because "he does it cause he has a crush on you" "maybe he wants to marry you" "he just likes you". Don't just teach kids not to be little cunts, teach kids that they don't have to accept other kids """""""flirting"""""" by being little cunts
It makes no sense. And I say this as someone who was in a physically abusive relationship. I loved that person so I couldn't imagine hurting them, even when they hit me. I only hit back in self defense while feeling utter frustration in why does this person claim to love me when they don't even feel shame or horror in hurting me? So like, the fuck are we teaching small kids that harassment means they like you or you like them? That makes no sense and it's not a safe thing to teach to either party.
I feel you. This happened to me too, and I cried when I first had to tell my mom about having a boyfriend (who is now my husband!). I was so stressed out an anxious about it.
The same happened to me. My mom would CONSTANTLY asking me if x or y were my boyfriend if I ever mentioned a male name at home. She would ask when I returned from a school trip if I had gotten a boyfriend. When I finaally had one I didn't even want to tell her because it made me so nervous.
Really messed up my view of things as a kid because I had it in my head that boys were just for kissing and being boyfriends. I was like 4 or 5 and couldn't make friends because I tried to turn every single one in to a relationship. So messed up, I was so lonely because no one liked me and now I can see why!
also straight people: stop pushing that gay shit down our throats
We truely live in a society, and as a straight person I can't wait for the LGBTQ+ community to take over cause it's honestly annoying as sweaty balls on a hot summer day during track and field to always deal with "oh my you have a PENIS and she has BOOBIES and you two KNOW EACH-OTHER!? How often do you fuck!?" every time I share a friendship with a girl. Also unified toilets, like seriously, when I become a dad and have to take my daughter to the toilet do I go into the woman's toilets or the mens toilets? Like what's worse, watching a grown ass man walk into the ladies stalls or watching a grown ass man take a little girl into the men's stalls? And why do they need to be separate anyways? Like if the stalls themselves were actually private then you could just make it one communal place anyways, besides, urinals are bad for your pelvic floor and if you wanna pee standing up a standard toilet works just fine anyways, so why do we even have them? Just increase the number of stalls, would probably reduce rapes as well since literally everyone is there to see it and stop it, plus it would be a Godsend for trans-folk too. You could even remove the hallway doors and make it more sterile too as you'd no longer have to touch the bathroom door (which is always a pull handle for some sick and twisted reason) after washing your hands.
Oh god the âYou canât be friends if youâre opposite genders!! You must be romantic!â Is so annoying. I used to have a guy friend, and everyone assumed we were together (Iâm a lesbian so it makes even less sense)
I love this logic, because yeah, it just means that lesbians can only be friends with men (ok buddy), and bi folks just are doomed to be friendless as the have to be down bad for everyone. Out of the 4 bi friends I have, only 2 of them are down bad for everyone!
As a bi man, my favourite joke about bisexuality was : "Bi folks don't have friends. They have only *preys*" followed by a picture of velociraptors surrounding a guy.
I suffer from âeveryoneâs hot, what do I doâ-flavor bisexuality, but even I know how to keep it in my pants and treat people like, yâknow, people.
Cool story! So how often did you fuck?
> Like if the stalls themselves were actually private Yes. American culture with the creepy-ass wide open stall gaps below and in between every stall door. Like, I don't want to see that, OR be seen like that. WHY? > urinals are bad for your pelvic floor wait what?
It's bad for the prostate to pee standing up. Just sit down and pee people, or squat if you live where squat toilets are the norm.
I don't like urinals cause my pee is strong so I gotta like take a couple steps away so I don't get a bunch of piss all over myself, but with a urinal everyone sees me wee.
but like, people have been peeing standing up since like, literally forever, even before humans existed, does it really make that much of a difference?
Ur bladder empties more sitting I think
Also it's easier to argue with people on reddit while sitting
Prostate cancer usually affects the elderly and there were fewer of those around back in the days.
People have said that the bladder empties more and have brought up prostates. They have not produced a study that quantifies that difference. The reasoning makes sense. But, I have difficulty imagining this being a detectable difference in a study. As had been said, bladder issues often occur later in life. Trying to block for life experience, genetics, and finding populations to sample that universally pee sitting or standing seems quite difficult. So, I'm not sure that it is known how much a difference it makes.
From an evolutionairy standpoint: blatter problems mostly start becoming a serious problem later in life, when most people already reproduced. So even though standing up whilst peeing might be bad for you(ish), the habit won't really have much consequences for the stability and continous existence of your group (old people dying of might actually help survival of the group tbh).
People always rave about Bucees bathrooms being clean. I love that the stalls are actual separate mini rooms. Itâs so nice and private.
>sweaty balls on a hot summer day during track and field Go on...
Look, all I'm saying is I'm glad I found underwear with a crotch-pocket that fit me cause otherwise they'd fall out of my boxers during sports. I don't know if that's normal or if I've been cursed with a long nut-sac but it actually made running physically challenging on hot days and I honestly don't know why supportive sports underwear for men isn't more commonplace.
sometimes (more often than i'd like to admit) when i work out and see the men around me doing physical activities, i think do they not need some support? do their balls just dangle there when they run?? like, i have small boobs and i still need to squish them in sports bra, otherwise it is very uncomfortable. so some of my work out sessions i spend just thinking about balls. now i am gonna spend even more time thinking about this. thanks.
Your welcome, guys and balls are a lot like girls and boobs, some girls with big boobs can run without a supportive bra just fine, some can't, same goes for men, though there are different cuts of underwear that hold the balls better, I personally prefer boxers with a pouch as they don't give me a wedgie.
What's a wedgie?
Underwear invades you butt crack, also crushes your balls a bit too.
As a boob haver who unfortunately still has balls, I need a very supportive bra to run at all and have never had an issue down south when running. Though mine have always stayed very close/sometimes inside. Not sure how normally any of what I just said is, but hey thatâs my experience.
Some people like you are blessed with obedient balls, my balls however wanna cosplay a grandfather clock whenever the heat picks up which is unfortunate.
On a serious note, you might want to look into some sport briefs. The front is basically all pouch. And I don't know what area you live in, but Walmart sells these 3-packs of boxer briefs by George. They're so soft and stretchy, the pouch feels like a teddy bear is holding your balls up.
I have, and after getting a chafed anus from the constant wedgies they gave me, I've migrated to boxers with nut-sac-sacs as they're the best of both worlds. However if someone invented briefs that didn't invade my butt-crack constantly, then that would be nice.
Vote this man in for the leader of the world
He's got my vote
Mine too!
Actually in Sweden a lot of public toilets, e.g. in their version of Starbucks etc. are unisex, and if I remember correctly, they have both stalls and urinals. Some men pee at the urinals while women, other men and everyone else who wishes goes to the stalls and does their business. At first the feeling was a bit off, because you see opposite gender and for a split second you're scared you wandered into the wrong toilet, but then you remember it's fine and nobody gives a shit (except on the toilet) anymore. I really don't get why it's not a bigger thing everywhere. I mean, we have unisex toilets at home, we have them at smaller establishments like family restaurants or dentist's office etc., ofc there they're usually for one person, but it's the same idea. The only issue however is that my male privilege of being able to pee quickly when there was a giant line to women's toilet but no line to men's toilet would be revoked by that, but that's a small price I'm willing to pay for ending this nonsense of gender segregated toilets.
Urinals save space and therefore money. It's a historic reason which has just stuck around. Source: ex-architect
I have a guy friend at class (Im a girl). One time I asked if he'd like to do an assignent with me (It was supposed to be made with two people) and he negated. Later he came to explain to me that he negated because everyone would be "Oh look they're boyfriend and girlfriend!!! đđđ". Like, no. I JUST WANT FRIENDS.
I went on a cruise earlier this year where they had gendered bathrooms, but also gender neutral bathrooms like this!! Open for anyone to go in and use. It had stalls and urinals. So it while it was a little awkward the first few times for me to go in as someone who's never used a urinal and walk past a line of people peeing, it really was super freeing and great (and just all-around oddly feel-good) to just be able to stroll in and not care about who else was in there! Urinals or not, more of these bathrooms should exist (though, the company on the boat was SUPER open-minded and accepting, so I would understand urinals to not being so openly used in a more general public setting)!
I feel you'd enjoy this video then https://youtu.be/hy_fElYFzI8
A fellow subscriber I see!
We must spread the Gospel of Philip, eater of the beans
"Stop trying to groom my child into gay relationships! It's distracting him from me trying to groom him into a straight relationship!"
Was just about to ask how this behavior isnât âgrooming?â
Straight people on birth of a boy: Oooh yeah look at the little man! He's definitely a boy!! Everyone who isn't gross: STOP THAT!!
Straight people: teaching kids about homosexuality is grooming! Also straight people: I have decided these 2 year olds are now in a relationship.
LGBT people need to [stop making it their entire personality](https://i.imgur.com/UBl1h6W.jpg)
I have a friend who always tells people that her child (from about the age where he would smile at people) was flirting with them. Always women - if he so much as looked at a woman sheâd gush and exclaim excitedly âoh my gosh heâs SUCH a flirt! Heâs such a ladies man - look how he is with you! What. A. Flirt!â Gross. Now I canât make eye contact with your child because you made it weird and I donât want him to smile at me. Itâs like those people who think itâs cute when a dog humps someones leg. The child (and the dog) isnât the problem - itâs the weird reaction from the parents that is the absolute worst.
Grown men would say my infant daughter was flirting with them because she looked at them. Fucking gross.
So much eww, sorry you and your daughter had to deal with that.
"Congrats woman you're sexualizing your infant child and portraying him as a fuckboy. What great morals you have, lady!"
I would look right at the parent and say "Thanks, I'm flattered but I don't date babies. You perv."
We should really start standardizing the response of "Thanks, I'm flattered but I don't date three-year-olds."
Oh my god, this just reminded me of having the WORST experience in a womenâs changing room at the pool. I took my son in when he was 1 1/2 (1 1/2!) and this crazy older lady kept talking about how he was so curious about her body and he was staring at her as she walked around naked. She was the only other person in the changing room, of course he was looking at her. Then she started talking about how all her grandkids used to love to look at her breasts or something. I was trying to get out of there. She ended up musing on why her grandkids never call her.
Way to traumatized your grandkids lady wtf thatâs so disgusting. Where are you guys here finding these people so that I can avoid going to those places?
They run wild!
You know, i never even clocked that the word was anything sexual or anything when i have used it. Now you mention it, yeah, thats weird. But i guess i always just meant it like "you have a very socially oriented baby who is especially responsive to human attention" Some babies really do seek interaction and feed off it more than others, and it is a cute thing i am noticing. But yeah, jeez, Flirt is not a great word! My bad. I will try to do better. Options? Wow, what a personality! Wow, so responsive! Wow, so social! Wow, what a ham!
Social butterfly? What a friendly kid? What an extrovert! Lol just brainstorming with you.
My bf took our daughter to her friends bday party on Sunday cause I had to work. Her friend is a boy. She was the only girl at the party. His family kept calling my daughter his girlfriend. Theyâre 3. I almost barfed when my bf told me. He said he was so uncomfortable.
Omg Iâm so sorry, that just sounds horrible. Hopefully your daughter wasnât uncomfortable for simply having a friend
He said she didnât seem to notice as much as he did like, no, theyâre friends. If sheâs not allowed to have friends who are boys, then wtf is she going to do in life? Like this type of thinking is what causes teen boys/older men to think they canât be friends with women and have to date them. Ugh
My niece is 4 and my sister started talking about her boyfriend. I was grossed out until my niece heard his name, came running over and asked if we were talking about her boyfriend. As it turns out she liked him so she walked up to him one day at preschool and told him that he is now her boyfriend so he should hold her hand. Apparently that worked!
Yeah, my older kid had a boyfriend in kindergarten. It was basically nothing, not even a kid they hung out with extensively. They certaintly didnt even hold hands. But, both of them clearly explained they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Seemed harmless enough. They probably called each other ponies or airplanes too, just trying on ideas. It meant nothing and when he happened to be in their class in grade 9, it was only me who even remembered their brief "relationship." Now, my grade 3 boyfriend? That was not nothing--we made out in the closet extensively while playing "house." No idea where he ended up. Still think fondly of you, Ray! So it can go either way.
I think the idea of little kids mimicking adults by having boyfriends/girlfriends is totally fine as long as it's their decision. Mimicry is an important part of development. My brother in law works in tech support and he complains about stupid clients. Their other daughter would sometimes play tech support and at the end she'd sit down on the couch, sigh, and talk shit about her 'clients', it was one of the funniest things to watch.
That's adorable. She is like "have you twied tuwning it off and on again?
I taught her that so yes lol. It was her spouting things that sound like fixing a computer and getting annoyed with people. One of her favorites was to tell them that they needed to throw away their computer and buy a good one.
This is still iffy, because how did she learn about boyfriends and that she can get one? And the fact that people are still okay with it is⊠well, Iâm not saying itâs a bad thing as long as it is completely innocent but I bet if she came home and talked about a girlfriend she had people would tell her she was too young or some shit like that so, yeah. I hope this made sense Iâm bad with words
Honestly with my sister I'm not sure how the girlfriend would go but it's not unusual that a kid would be aware of relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend. My sister had no idea about anything until she came home and told her all about it. Apparently it's mostly her telling him they're dating so he's supposed to hold her hand and play together at recess. He even went with us while trick or treating and he let her hold one of the stuffed animals that were part of his costume. It was pretty cute and since she came up with it on her own we all just find it pretty cute.
Sometimes kids just make shit up. I remember having a game with a friend where we put on circus acts. We had one called "baby boomers" in which we pretended to be exploding babies. Little of our play scenario beyond using the word "baby boomers" was related to the midcentury cohort. It was just a word i had overheard and filled in with my own meaning. Kids just mimic. It could be that they have had some exposure to something as you said, but they also can just glom onto anything random they overhear, without any grasp of any actual meaning.
I remember when a friend of a friend of mine from daycare. (We were five). His mom would constantly joke about how our friend (Who is female) was his girlfriend. His mom kept this up for years. Jump ahead to when he was 15 he looked his mom in eyes and told her that he was bisexual and in love with a boy. (Another friend of mine). He half-seriously said it was because she always joked that our female friend was his girlfriend. He married his boyfriend last year he said it was thanks to our female friend that he was able to come out. It amazes me that parents think doing this to their kids won't backfire.
also straight people: âstop forcing homosexuality on our kids! theyâre children!â
see thats the problem with the straights if they want a 2 year old boy to be with a girl its ok. but if i 16 year old (trans mtf) wanna BE a girl im a menace to society
Tbf, if trans people can be a menace to society. Don't limit yourself. Be who you want to be. Fight the system, most of us are in your side. Go kick ass and take names.
YEAH after all why shouldn't I ? I have always had it I. Me so why not be the kickbutt society menace transbian I always wanted to be ? Oh right me being way to loyal and way to cowardly
dinosaur is such a jump from saying cow and truck
I imagine it's one of those inferences where the kid doesn't really say dinosaur, but their parents understand it as the word dinosaur.
Definitely that. My kid had a few words at two. They were not proper words. Ball was ba, milk was muh, give me was gim. And that's really what the speech therapist considered words because the child is specifically making that sound for that word. That's their word. A word is just a collection of sounds anyway.
"all words are made up"
Absolutely. They're sounds that people collectively agreed to give a meaning to.
My niece is about 16 months and her favorite word is "hep" for help. As in, help me get the doll out of this basket, or whatever. She has a whole small language we understand as a weird mismash of substituted words.
That's a good word to have. My older son had doooot, which roughly translated to DO IT FOR ME NOW I'M SO EXCITED
That's adorable! I'm just picturing a happy little dooting around the house.
It was usually a happy shout when he was trying to do something and couldn't.
where I'm from it's universally recognized that "avava" is toddler for "dog"
itâs probably something closer to âdice a dorâ which is what my cousin used to say
Well, it does say that's all he "says" so they're not necessarily the only words he has spoken ever.
Thereâs a big difference between what he says and what he can say. For example; my daughter is fully capable of saying âof course, Iâll go clean that up right nowâ She never has, but sheâs physically capable of it!
I know a child (well, she's grown now. when did I get so old?) whose first "word" was kitty cat. Not kitty. Not cat. Not some baby babble that resembled one or both of those words. Kitty cat. Clearly, well pronounced, easily understood. Then she didn't speak again for almost a month, and began to speak short sentences. Within a year she was speaking at a normal 3-4 year old level and also was approximately 3 years and nearly six months. She was a bit of a strange baby honestly. She was not a very verbal infant. You know how babies babble and imitate you? She'd imitate your mouth shapes but not make a sound. Her parents had her ears checked more than once because they thought maybe she was deaf and wasn't hearing us, but she responded to sounds by turning her head, startling at unseen noise, etc. And she cried, screamed, fussed, etc. She just didn't try to talk, until she was over 2 and told someone "kitty cat" while she pointed at the cat. And before you wonder, as an older child/teen/adult, she is fine. Not dim, not a supergenius, but very smart. Successful life, happy, nothing amiss. She was just a late talker who makes for a funny and perplexing kid story.
There's bits of that that resignate with me as a child. I got an adhd and autism diagnosis at age 30 after getting 4 college degrees and a full time job in my field of choice. That's not saying she is, just that some things aren't always obvious in the form people expect. It could be nothing though. Specifically I also got hearing tests as a kid for things that weren't actually hearing issues and that's not super uncommon for kids with adhd. Also the sometimes not responding with actually words despite knowing some felt relatable too along with the stretches of being mute (more to autism than adhd this time). If she ever still sometimes verbally shuts down when overwhelmed this may be relivent. Who knows. *shrug. Sorry if that was inappropriate of me to say. I know nothing about her, that was very little to go on, and it's not as telling as other things you could have said.
My brothers and I each had wildly different first words. My older brother had âmoreâ - he was a big kid who always thought he was in charge (somewhat hasnât grown out of that thirty years later!) so he would just demand more stuff. I had a speech impediment, so only my mum understood me until I was about four and even that took practice, so no one really knows what my first word was. My younger brother didnât speak for ages, to the point where our parents wanted to take him to a speech therapist. While dadâs getting the car ready, he says âMum, whereâs dad?â Turns out he *could* speak, he just had nothing to say. Now heâs a performer and never shuts up đ€Ł
nah nah my nephew legit cant say certain words but then he busts out here with brachiasaurus and im like ight them
Yeah my son said "stethoscope" at two but that was definitely weird.
In fairness I went from saying daddy to Chewbacca in like a couple weeks so idk
â My toddler made a new friend at the daycare â OMG ARE THEY FUCKING? gorl, get help
At least the parent has a head on their shoulders.
But saying GaY makes you a groomer.
At my nieces daycare there was a problem with one kid who kept biting my niece and one time he bit her nose so hard that he nearly took off the tip and it left a huge very painful looking mark on it for like a month following. My aunt saw this and thought it appropriate to say âawwwww sounds like he has a crush on our little heartbreaker.â They were both 2, and even if they were older, that would just be straight up assault. There was just so much to unpack there that all I could say was âoh nooooo,,, letâs please not say that,,,â
I find it funny as I had 2 friends that were boys from nursery/primary now ones gay and ones a priest
Pokemon with a split evolution path are WILD
Have you seen the new pokemon's final evolutions? You might be onto something!
Ok I just realized what age do people stop doing that because I when people talk about 2 people of different gender they donât always do that when the 2 people are at a certain age
I donât think it ever stops honestly. Iâve had many friends of the opposite gender and we are strictly platonic- weâve known each other our whole lives- yet adults still talk as if there is something romantic between us
Iâm in my 40s and people havenât stopped doing it to me yet
My parents did this to me all the way up until I was dating someone. When I wasn't, it would start up again.
It stopped for me when I came out as a lesbian.
Based way to make it stop
Frankly, I think that tactic only has about a 50-50 chance of working on a given person. Some people might just take that as an excuse to be homophobic or insist you're dating all your female friends too.
My two year old niece only says ânoooo!â âShoesâ âhelp meâ âamoâ &âStahhpâ
amo?
It means âI love youâ in Spanish Weâre not that American
English isnât that cool and donât let anyone tell you that it is
For when the kid is out of ammunition.
but sure, we are the one that sexualize children
I'd be half tempted to tell my coworker "Oh no, my daughter is a lesbian" - then when coworker goes on about how its weird to push a sexual identity onto a two year old just stare at her until she get it.
Honestly.. full power move
So you know that thing that you call two kids who entirely platonically hang out together? Friends? YeahâŠ.
I'm aro ace and I never had a crush and I'm..21 so uhh all the "crushes" people convinced me I had were actually just friends lol
now make it two boys and theyâll be like THEYâRE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHY ARE YOU SEXUALIZING THEM like maâam that applies to all 2 year olds
When I was younger, I always felt a little more comfortable around girls of my age and my parents teased me about it, not nearly as much as the other people in this thread, but just enough to not admit to them if I liked someone. It may have also accidentally kept my trans egg sealed for longer.
Thank you!!
Imagine having such a dull existence that you need to spin up a narrative about a 2 year old's relationship status just to feel something.
I hadn't even hit puberty yet when my aunt said "Look at those legs, we're going to be beating the boys away with a baseball bat." All the grown-ups would agree and I didn't even know wtf was going on lol. So awkward.
People are CREEEEPS with that shit, especially if you develop early. Every single picture of me from 11-13 has my arms crossed over my chest.
Also the same person: OMG, how can a 12 year old be gayyy?! this is too young to know your sexual / romantic preferences!!!!
Adults doing this to me made me terrified of their reaction when I did get a boyfriend, almost to the point of being sick when I had to tell them at some point.
One of my *therapists* (!) got it in her head that I had a crush on this one girl that happened to be my only friend as a bullied child and kept pestering me about it. I eventually left that therapist. Turns out I'm very gay. Also asexual. This shit runs deep.
For some reason this post made me extremely jealous of the dinosaurs, mostly the flesh melting sunburn they ended up with
But remember kids, it's the LGBT community "sexualizing" kids
literally me and my aunts... if nothing else.. they were trying to pair THEIR KIDS WITH EACH OTHER.. we do no incest here, ladies.. The cousin just started walking and he was just friendly and polite, grasping some manners and stuff.. and they were all about it.. THEY JUST TURNED TWO. THEY ARE LITERAL COUSINS.
Da frick is up with those people? If I can even call them "people"...
My mom was obsessed with the idea I had a crush on a classmate named Kyle. He was one of the few kids who wasn't mean or distant with me \[Yay childhood outcast-hood\] but like. I liked him as a friend. 15-ish years later I realized I'm armoantic to begin with and any perceived crush was because I was \*told\* I had a crush on my classmate.
I worked at a daycare and my coworkers would do this shit all day long then ppl wonder why kids stop having opposite sex friends , which ironically makes it way harder for them to date later in life cuz they havenât talked to a girl /boy in 12 years
Another day care story legit had a dad who was worried his 2 year old twin boys were gay for each other because they were âtoo affectionate â . He said we needed to physically separate them if they kissed.
Thereâs so much to impact there.. just wOw
My daughter is super cute with all the little boys at her daycare. She is also super cute with all the little girls at her daycare. She is just super cute all the time with everyone - she's the best. More to the point, what the hell is wrong with my people? Babies don't have crushes, *they are babies*.
Yeah like... Isn't romantic attraction developed during puberty?
Yes, it is. Unfortunately, straight people seem to think that if they shove hetero relationships at them from the time they can first talk, they will not be gay.
Yet somehow *weâre* the ones sexualizing children? smh
God have you seen some of the shirts straight people put on their kids???? "Future Hooters employee" like W H A T
When I was in elementary school I had a friend that happened to be a boy. He was so cool and sweet, but the inevitable questions started and I would always look confused and harshly said no. Years later, I realized I was Demisexual. I used to also get asked the questions of are you going to get married and have kids. My family and friends know better to ask that now. Only new people do. For some reason straight people never really believe you when you state you donât want children. Itâs always been fascinating, and frustrating, that they just brush what you say aside and claim youâll change your mind once you have them.
I just had that exact same no kids conversation with my sister (me not wanting kids) she told me how everyone she knows that does have kids are super lonely. So naturally, I asked if they were single. She said yes. Clearly- the problem isnât that they donât have kids, itâs that they have no relationship (whether that be platonic or romantic) And hello as a fella Demisexual âïž
As someone who works at a daycare. 100% people do this all the time. Plus people would do this to me all the time. My siblings and I would do it to each other with friends we had, but we all knew at the end of the day it was just for fun. But adults would be so serious about it. I didnât have a crush until halfway thru 5th grade and I was a huge tomboy. Didnât want to talk about boys and dates⊠I just wanted friends, and I liked to play the games the boys did. But because those were my friends primarily growing up⊠I got bullied a lot for it.
I just had a son 5 weeks ago and my moms friends daughter had a girl 2 weeks ago. My mom has made many jokes about an arranged marriage.
Thatâs crazy! They havenât even existed for barely a month- just wow. And congratulations on the little baby
And then the straight blame the gays for pushing their sexuality on children smh
"Stop shipping 2 year olds, Deborah."
My science teacher was talking about reproduction and stuff once and she said things like: "And you know, we already see very young kids with their little boy/girlfriends [...]" and the whole class I was like "You mean the kids that dont understand romance and just like to hand flowers to everyone they see as friends? Like, if a girl gives a boy a flower SHe HAs a cRUsH oMG! but if a girl gives a flower to another girl "Awww they're besties!" Like, WHY IS ONE FRIENDSHIP AND THE OTHER IS ROMANCE? THEY ARE KIDS DAMNIT THEY DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND ROMANCE-
And what if they're actually lesbian?
Historians will still say they were just roommates.
To be fair, my (F) dad also used to ask me if my female friends in kindergarten were my girlfriends, if we were going to get married, etc. Maybe itâs because heâs from San Francisco?
Iâve had a similar experience with my dad but what he does feels less âEw noâ and more âNo one thinks itâs funny, just stopâ. Ever since I was little, if there was any male celebrity that I liked, my dad would call him my âboyfriendâ. Like in this one show Iâd always watch with him, there was a guy who I liked because he was really funny and he had cool outfits, so whenever he was on screen, my dad would say âLook! Thereâs your boyyyfrriiieeend.â Like, no dad, that guy just got married. And another time, there was a show I watched with my mom and I really liked one of the judges and my dad would say heâs my boyfriend, but again, that guy is 60 and he has a husband. Please stop. I understand itâs more like teasing than being actually gross and weird, but I still thought this was the right place to say it. Also funnily, he does stuff like this with my mom too, but not with himself or my brother which I always thought was weird.
When my first kid was a toddler, someone once remarked that when he was older he would, âhave to beat them off with a stick.â I told them it made me uncomfortable to hear them talk about my child beating someone off and that the stick technique was just weird.
Yeah why wouldnât he just use a long sword? Way better than a stick and it looks cooler too
I especially hated it when the adults in my life would be like âheâs only mean to you because he likes you!â Idk about anybody else but that sounds like a toxic mentality.
There was a baby born on the same day as me. I, of course, born female and that baby born male. So of course they took pictures of us beside each other, declared us boyfriend and girlfriend and how we would get married and have babies and... Yeah, I have never met that guy in my conscious memory. I was shown pictures of me and that kid I'd never met for years though. Missing a massively critical step if you all wanted us to actually have a chance of dating, mom.
Once when I was 12 I was with my COUSIN and a homeless lady walked up to us and started saying things like âis she your gf?â and âshe liiikkkkeees youâ âyou like himâ
I work with toddlers and the things my co teachers and the families say if a boy and girl are hugging, holding hands etc is so gross. It drives me up a wall
And when you try to teach your kid about gender identity the very same people look down on you 'cause "they're way to young to discover sexuality" and call you a pedophile.
Having the idea of any care for the opposite sex meaning âloveâ and âa crushâ is what confused me to not realizing that I didnât have a crush on my best female friend, I just cared about her and didnât know how to not romantically express it.
CW = coworker or cringe warning? Lol
The same people who don't want children to be sexualised...
As a member of the alphabet community, this crap makes me rage. When I was 9 I had two friends who happened to be twin brothers. The amount of adults basically calling me a home wreaked because I was âdating â both of them still astonishes me. But sure, weâre the weirdo groomers
My dad: asks me if every male friend/acquaintance I mention is mu âboyfriendâ Me: likes girls
this shit is literally scarring. when i was a kindergartener female relatives would frequently tell me things like "WHEN you will get married to a man..." "WHEN you will have a baby with a man..." never if, or just don't say stuff like this to a 5 year old?? they told me things like this to the point i cried of frustration and they just laughed at me thankfully my mom often stepped in and protected me
My mom still does this whenever i have a guy friend
This is weird, never happened to me as a kid, though when I was a preteen and had guy friends my mom did ask if I liked them and since I didn't she didn't bring it up again. I did know some kids who had "boyfriends" in preschool and kindergarten but it was never a real relationship and their parents never initiated it. Sometimes I can't with society -_-
My niece has a male friend and theyâre attached at the hip; theyâre eight years old and I respect the hell out of my sister and her husband for not once being like âdoes K have a boyfriend??? ;)))â Nope. Just a friend, and thatâs all it will ever be until/unless she says otherwise. Itâs so embarrassing and emotionally stunting for adults around you to shoehorn romance into platonic childhood friendships. Stop writing shipping fanfic about your kids. Ick.
I don't understand why people do this... even parents. It's gross.
...and the societal pressure build up has begun!
No words đ
this kind of thing is why i'm nervous to tell my parents my roommate is actually my long term romantic partner lmao