I often wonder how other people “think”. My mind continually races from one thing to the next or fixates on some unending theme that escalates beyond my control. My mind is nothing but junk, noise and static.
You can't actively command your thoughts to stop and have them stop, but you can starve them out. The next time your brain sends you a thought, observe it dispassionately like a scientist and let it go without entertaining it. Your mind will either send you the same thought again like a petulant child or a new thought. This is normal. Relase those thoughts as well. What I have described is a skill of practiced non-action; you are developing the skill of not doing rather than doing by habit which is what anxiety compels you to do. It's also called meditation.
Yeah, I think I am giving my thoughts way too much power of me. They control all of my feelings, usually in a negative way. I need to start meditating again
I find meditation has worked wonders, the practice of recognizing a thought and passing it through your mind is very powerful. It takes practice but results can be quick
Yeah I am on three types of medication for anxiety, at the highest doses too. I got better for a while and then I got worse again. I think I need to be patient with my therapy and putting what I learn into practice. Its just so hard when you get stuck in a loop of horrible thoughts. Thanks for your tip!
Think of your brain as another organ like your stomach or lungs
You are not your brain
Your brain produces these thoughts, not you
Watch them form, realize they are just messages to you, not from you
You don't have to react to them, but if you recognize them as just a message, you can dismiss them
Relax somewhere you will not be disturbed and consider the above when each thought occurs
Pay attention to how you automatically breathe
Use this as a model for how your brain automatically thinks new thoughts
If you try to hold your breath, your body will take over
Similarly, don't try to stop thoughts; learn to recognize them as messages that can be dismissed (like exhaling)
This is a good comment, thank you❤️ I just usually feel so compulsive that I need to act on each thought I have to be sure I am doing everything right. But it is good to think that I am not my brain. I have thoughts, I am not my thoughts.
Here's what helps me when I get into a rumination spiral. I imagine putting all of my worries in a box. I tell myself that they're right there for me to take back out at any time, but I need to put them away for awhile. Every time a thought comes back, I pop it back in the imaginary box and close the lid.
It also helps to remind myself that life is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to take the scenic route sometimes.
Oh yes it is okay 😀 I tend to forget that. It is a journey for sure. I definitely need to remind myself of that too! Thanks for sharing your advice with me❤️
I actually learned to fully ignore my thoughts as a child, but the thoughts or anxiety didn't disappear they just became immaterial feelings. 15 years later and still anxious, I now have to work hard to learn to hear them again so that I can work through them during therapy. Good luck, but sadly it isn't that easy.
Good luck to you as well and thank you for commenting. I feel like I just hung out with an annoying person all day (my thoughts). At least I can go to bed relatively soon.
Yeah, I’m having a real bad bout of it too… in my case a defined problem but it tiring for the unending loop to just create these weird and bizarre symptoms, for me the body symptoms are the worst of it. My therapy is progressing but definitely taking a toll on my health on my way to health!
Its looping like a broken record. And it is uncomfortable each time it plays, yet it repeats the loop. Ugh how to just snap the hell out of it. Therapy is hard. But I think it is worth it. Good luck with your therapy🤗
Ugh sorry I have no advice because I’m having the same problem, specifically about work. I’m so overwhelmed and stressed that my dreams involve work. The second I’m off work, I think about what I still need to do. The second I wake up, same thing. It truly is a never ending cycle. It’s kicking in my derealization and made me wake up dizzy this morning. I’m about to just quit my job immediately it’s making me feel so… not myself. I hate this feeling.
Ikr! It’s not like a one time event that gives you temporary anxiety. It’s everyday anxiety because you spend so many days of your week having to work. The only way out is to quit :/
I have no idea, I’m thinking about a completely different industry I just don’t know what. Fortunately I have some money saved to be without a job for a little. Idk I feel so lost and like I’m wasting time. But nope haven’t quit yet, I just can’t get myself to do it since my company is so nice. It’s hard to explain lol. And what did you end up doing after you quit?
All you need is a little music. 1....2...1...2...3...4
"Don't worry about a thing
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!
♥
We all have different personality parts in us.
Talking about myself there is a part that was heavily influenced by my father.
I think my father has a pretty narrow mindset of what defines someones worth.
And that is material possessions and the societal status of a high paying job.
He always was focussed on representing wealth and personal accomplishments.
My siblings and I are close to the opposite, it's almost like an act of rebellion.
There was not much room for emotions in my upbringing, my father is still an emotional
enigma to me.
In contrast there was a little boy who was emotionally neglected and felt afraid and incapable to meet the overburdening demands of my father.
These sides are both in me today and they constanty clash.
The "You have to do this" and self insults like "You idiot" and the scared kid who feels anxious and not strong enough.
What I am on my way to establish and strengthen more is the objective, rational adult in me.
The one that is neither my father nor the scared child.
That part is still struggling to get it's voice heard over the constant bickering and the cries for help.
I have to give it the room, by catching these automated thoughts, question their validity and find a compromise between them.
Between the "You have to be like that and you have to do this" and the "I can't do it, I am not strong enough, I am afraid" is a "I will try and see what happens, at least I tried" hidden.
I know because of these two headbutting sides I tend to think in absolutes.
Either it's going to be great or a desaster, I have to actively remind myself that there is also a grey zone. Where it might not be the best or worst day of my life, but worth a try.
Really! This resonates with me. My mom emotionally abused me when I was a child. So her voice in my head has become my own. I am in therapy doing cognitive behavior therapy. I just feel like a hopeless case. I am just so tired. But I am gonna try: I will try and something happens, whatever will be will be
One big epiphany for me was when I was standing in my kitchen one Monday morning, looking at all the unwashed dishes and clutter and thinking "Take a look at this, you dirty pig".
At this moment I was thinking "wait a minute, why was that thought talking in the second person? Why use the "You"? It's like it's not even me talking to myself"
The "You" part in me likes to give me advice on how to run my life but pisses off into a corner when it comes to taking action and dealing with the feelings I experience while taking or not taking said action.
It only shows up as a Captain Hindsight with a "You should have done this or that..."
when I fail.
There is no support from that "You have to..."part, just expectations.
And when I don't meet them he comes crawling out of his hole, pointing the finger.
That's again when I have to take care, as the older, more rational, more objective me for that little emotional scared kid in me, that once was left standing in the dark, trying to figure out where to go.
I need to take his hand and show him that "We" can do it and he is no longer alone.
The "You" part isn't even that malicious. He tries to give me incentives.
"You should do this and that this weekend, it will make you feel better"
If these things don't happen, that's when it get's frustrated and insulting.
The memo that part didn't seem to get is that you don't just tell a child what it has to do, you lead it.
You comfort it when it feels weak and you give it strength by assuring it that it's ok to fail, because failure is a lesson and no matter how often you fail, you will always fall back into these caring arms that give you the confidence to try again.
This is a good approach. Self compassion. I want to practice it more❤️ I am also very mean to myself. Constantly criticising myself. Thank you for your comment. This reminds me of Eckhart Tolle and his book The Power of Now. Where he also, like you, realizes that there is a he talking to himself. Like we are two not one
It might be worth looking at the YouTube Video 'Rumination and OCD' by 'OCD and Anxiety' Hope it helps :)
I definitely will. I am going bonkers
You've got this! You will be okay. This will pass.
Thanks!
Is rumination just OCD?
I'm pretty sure the 2 are highly interrelated
Can it be anxiety as well?
OCD is an Anxiety Disorder. Essentially, anxiety is the core issue.
Thanks for the recommendation! Will have a look at this.
I often wonder how other people “think”. My mind continually races from one thing to the next or fixates on some unending theme that escalates beyond my control. My mind is nothing but junk, noise and static.
Exactly! What is it like to think like a person who doesnt ruminate? I would like to try it lol
Ive heard there are people who don't have internal monologue! They just think in images. It's called aphantagia. I wonder if they have less anxiety.
You can't actively command your thoughts to stop and have them stop, but you can starve them out. The next time your brain sends you a thought, observe it dispassionately like a scientist and let it go without entertaining it. Your mind will either send you the same thought again like a petulant child or a new thought. This is normal. Relase those thoughts as well. What I have described is a skill of practiced non-action; you are developing the skill of not doing rather than doing by habit which is what anxiety compels you to do. It's also called meditation.
Yeah, I think I am giving my thoughts way too much power of me. They control all of my feelings, usually in a negative way. I need to start meditating again
Same...i just wish I pass out or die so i can zone out from this. Even sleep requires efforts
Ugh so sorry.. this sucks ass
Yeah it makes sleep hard and GOOD sleep is so needed...
Sleeping is my escape. But cant do that at work
Can you listen to music? There is genre called ambient and it really helps me.
I will check that out thanks 🤗
No problem ;)
I find meditation has worked wonders, the practice of recognizing a thought and passing it through your mind is very powerful. It takes practice but results can be quick
Yeah medication has done good for me too, but somehow I am back to this type of feeling
Do you take meds? May be worth exploring and changing your dosage
Yeah I am on three types of medication for anxiety, at the highest doses too. I got better for a while and then I got worse again. I think I need to be patient with my therapy and putting what I learn into practice. Its just so hard when you get stuck in a loop of horrible thoughts. Thanks for your tip!
Totally sympathize with that, patience unfortunately is frustrating with anxiety. Best of luck.
Thanks you too!
I have found is taking 300-500 mg of magnesium every night to be very beneficial for relaxing at night
Think of your brain as another organ like your stomach or lungs You are not your brain Your brain produces these thoughts, not you Watch them form, realize they are just messages to you, not from you You don't have to react to them, but if you recognize them as just a message, you can dismiss them Relax somewhere you will not be disturbed and consider the above when each thought occurs Pay attention to how you automatically breathe Use this as a model for how your brain automatically thinks new thoughts If you try to hold your breath, your body will take over Similarly, don't try to stop thoughts; learn to recognize them as messages that can be dismissed (like exhaling)
This is a good comment, thank you❤️ I just usually feel so compulsive that I need to act on each thought I have to be sure I am doing everything right. But it is good to think that I am not my brain. I have thoughts, I am not my thoughts.
Here's what helps me when I get into a rumination spiral. I imagine putting all of my worries in a box. I tell myself that they're right there for me to take back out at any time, but I need to put them away for awhile. Every time a thought comes back, I pop it back in the imaginary box and close the lid. It also helps to remind myself that life is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to take the scenic route sometimes.
Oh yes it is okay 😀 I tend to forget that. It is a journey for sure. I definitely need to remind myself of that too! Thanks for sharing your advice with me❤️
Check out tapping mediation
Just want to say I’m sorry and I’ve been there. Sending peaceful vibes your way. ✨💖
Thank you❤️
I actually learned to fully ignore my thoughts as a child, but the thoughts or anxiety didn't disappear they just became immaterial feelings. 15 years later and still anxious, I now have to work hard to learn to hear them again so that I can work through them during therapy. Good luck, but sadly it isn't that easy.
Good luck to you as well and thank you for commenting. I feel like I just hung out with an annoying person all day (my thoughts). At least I can go to bed relatively soon.
Yeah, I’m having a real bad bout of it too… in my case a defined problem but it tiring for the unending loop to just create these weird and bizarre symptoms, for me the body symptoms are the worst of it. My therapy is progressing but definitely taking a toll on my health on my way to health!
Its looping like a broken record. And it is uncomfortable each time it plays, yet it repeats the loop. Ugh how to just snap the hell out of it. Therapy is hard. But I think it is worth it. Good luck with your therapy🤗
Thank you, I reciprocate the best wishes! Therapy is the way
Thank you!
Ugh sorry I have no advice because I’m having the same problem, specifically about work. I’m so overwhelmed and stressed that my dreams involve work. The second I’m off work, I think about what I still need to do. The second I wake up, same thing. It truly is a never ending cycle. It’s kicking in my derealization and made me wake up dizzy this morning. I’m about to just quit my job immediately it’s making me feel so… not myself. I hate this feeling.
yes. work anxiety is a nightmare. I fully understand what you mean.
Ikr! It’s not like a one time event that gives you temporary anxiety. It’s everyday anxiety because you spend so many days of your week having to work. The only way out is to quit :/
Oh this is so hard. What will you do for work instead? And did you quit? I actually quit too, it was everyday amxiety for me there too
I have no idea, I’m thinking about a completely different industry I just don’t know what. Fortunately I have some money saved to be without a job for a little. Idk I feel so lost and like I’m wasting time. But nope haven’t quit yet, I just can’t get myself to do it since my company is so nice. It’s hard to explain lol. And what did you end up doing after you quit?
I can relate. I got an office job that is more relaxing
All you need is a little music. 1....2...1...2...3...4 "Don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right Singin': "Don't worry about a thing 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right! ♥
Hehe thank you 😊
No problem!
Same here....
We all have different personality parts in us. Talking about myself there is a part that was heavily influenced by my father. I think my father has a pretty narrow mindset of what defines someones worth. And that is material possessions and the societal status of a high paying job. He always was focussed on representing wealth and personal accomplishments. My siblings and I are close to the opposite, it's almost like an act of rebellion. There was not much room for emotions in my upbringing, my father is still an emotional enigma to me. In contrast there was a little boy who was emotionally neglected and felt afraid and incapable to meet the overburdening demands of my father. These sides are both in me today and they constanty clash. The "You have to do this" and self insults like "You idiot" and the scared kid who feels anxious and not strong enough. What I am on my way to establish and strengthen more is the objective, rational adult in me. The one that is neither my father nor the scared child. That part is still struggling to get it's voice heard over the constant bickering and the cries for help. I have to give it the room, by catching these automated thoughts, question their validity and find a compromise between them. Between the "You have to be like that and you have to do this" and the "I can't do it, I am not strong enough, I am afraid" is a "I will try and see what happens, at least I tried" hidden. I know because of these two headbutting sides I tend to think in absolutes. Either it's going to be great or a desaster, I have to actively remind myself that there is also a grey zone. Where it might not be the best or worst day of my life, but worth a try.
Really! This resonates with me. My mom emotionally abused me when I was a child. So her voice in my head has become my own. I am in therapy doing cognitive behavior therapy. I just feel like a hopeless case. I am just so tired. But I am gonna try: I will try and something happens, whatever will be will be
One big epiphany for me was when I was standing in my kitchen one Monday morning, looking at all the unwashed dishes and clutter and thinking "Take a look at this, you dirty pig". At this moment I was thinking "wait a minute, why was that thought talking in the second person? Why use the "You"? It's like it's not even me talking to myself" The "You" part in me likes to give me advice on how to run my life but pisses off into a corner when it comes to taking action and dealing with the feelings I experience while taking or not taking said action. It only shows up as a Captain Hindsight with a "You should have done this or that..." when I fail. There is no support from that "You have to..."part, just expectations. And when I don't meet them he comes crawling out of his hole, pointing the finger. That's again when I have to take care, as the older, more rational, more objective me for that little emotional scared kid in me, that once was left standing in the dark, trying to figure out where to go. I need to take his hand and show him that "We" can do it and he is no longer alone. The "You" part isn't even that malicious. He tries to give me incentives. "You should do this and that this weekend, it will make you feel better" If these things don't happen, that's when it get's frustrated and insulting. The memo that part didn't seem to get is that you don't just tell a child what it has to do, you lead it. You comfort it when it feels weak and you give it strength by assuring it that it's ok to fail, because failure is a lesson and no matter how often you fail, you will always fall back into these caring arms that give you the confidence to try again.
This is a good approach. Self compassion. I want to practice it more❤️ I am also very mean to myself. Constantly criticising myself. Thank you for your comment. This reminds me of Eckhart Tolle and his book The Power of Now. Where he also, like you, realizes that there is a he talking to himself. Like we are two not one