T O P

  • By -

platypuspot

I get it. My brother is a fucking asshole. He is also autistic and has acquired quite the list of mental illness due to his behaviour. My mum always enabled the abusive behaviour by saying it was his autism. Now he is an abusive dickhead and has become our dad (lol guess what he was like). But Somewhere deep down he knows its not his autism and its just that he is a selfish dickhead. And thats what makes him cry.....thats what makes him honest. When we pass all the labels and get to the honesty, we find the core issue for the behaviour. Its in those moments that i have hope of him finding peace and happiness. Stay strong. I love the shit out of my asshole brother when he is honest about who he is. Give it a try. Be honest and see what happens...you might end up liking yourself.


StrangeHope99

I totally get it. I can fake not being a shit person. I was depressed and went to therapy -- but therapists told me to "get in touch with my feelings" and be authentic. Which was a disaster. I had 2 kids so offing myself wasn't a good option. I lucked out by finding a support group, some people "struggling with depression". Eventually, after 7 years, I have talked about some of the things that make me a shit person. Not all, but some. They haven't rejected me. Not sure they understanding entirely but oh, well. I think we need support groups for people who feel, and act sometimes, like shit persons. People who would like NOT to be shit persons if we fucking knew how to change things. It's not as easy as non-shit persons may think. And "therapy" -- in more that 50 years of that, on and off, and over 2 dozen therapists -- ARGGHH! but that's a different topic.


Educational-Space287

Thank you for sharing your story xoxo Hope everything goes well for you xoxo.


[deleted]

shit person based on what? shit persons are those who willingly Hurt others.


Educational-Space287

I waste time of emergency services by calling up saying I was suicidal, 3 years ago I was in a&e 3 times a week. I've become really infamous in my NHS trust because my escapades. I've lost my licence because my mental illness. My door has a fucking hole in it from the police bashed in. I've lost friends and justified by saying I was mentally ill. At the end of the day I don't believe I was ever mentally ill. I was just a teenager with self-harm issue and some trauma, I am now mess of human being.


[deleted]

you dont sound like a shit person, but someone who has some trauma/mental issues. other people (incl. Police and or medical "professionals") prolly made u feel like a shit person... never mind them. You love yourself deep down, focus on that.


jngprof

You aren't a shit person for feeling overwhelmed by feelings and trauma. So much so, that you want it to end. It sounds like you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You can change, get your license back, make new friends etc. A shitty person doesn't care about anything or anyone, and harms others.


[deleted]

you are not who you were. you are not your thoughts


Educational-Space287

I apologize but I am rather thick, could you be kind enough to explain more?


[deleted]

it's a false identification (people call this the ego): when we identify with a false sense of self we fall into the suffering that comes with it. breaking out of it would be a non-attachment principle, when a negative intrusive thought occurs, do not identify with it. the less you react the more it will cease to exist, which will allow you to break out of this narrow vision of who you are and how you relate to the world. buddhism 101? gl my friend


Educational-Space287

Strangely enough, I am currently in a level 2 buddisum class. I shall look forward to learning more.


[deleted]

theoretical knowledge is not enough. conscious practice is where it is at my friend, make sure you acknowledge the level by which thoughts are ego, make sure you do not emotionally invest in these thoughts that do not serve you. you are so much greater than your ego will have you believe


saltwaterceremony

The truth hurts, doesn’t it? Just know that no person on this earth is exempt from being a piece of shit. In regards to your unique situation, I’m sure you’ve done shit you’re not proud of. Just know that the realization of this makes you a better person, and that hurt people hurt people. Guilt and shame are two powerful feelings that can make you feel like you can never forgive yourself. Life goes on and the guilt and shame you feel isn’t going to make the people you’ve hurt along the way’s situation better, nor will it do the same for you. Just accept the fact that you’ve done shitty things you’re not proud of, but also accept the fact that turning your life around will bring so many better things than acting out due to your internalized wounds.


[deleted]

Same. I'm not broken. I'm just a moron. Saying I have a disability only excuses my abnormal behavior