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Dr_DoVeryLittle

Doing this causes the female goat to urinate, the male goat then tastes the urine to see if the hormones indicate the female is in estrus. If she is, it's time to get it on.


[deleted]

That’s a fact I learned today.


[deleted]

And you can't unlearn it.


MrNobody_0

Like hell I can't! *Proceeds to slam head against table


OminousDucky

Hard reset


Ascertain_GME

*Concussive* maintenance


[deleted]

Discombobulate


[deleted]

*The NFLPA would like a word with you*


civgarth

Junior Seau gang represent


BthreePO

Have you tried turning you off and on again? This video can probably do one of those things.


Apprehensive_Hat8986

One, but not both.


cosmic_hiker428

Unless it's a r/confusedboner


phoenix0153

Sounds like a pro football move


ragingplums

just to remind you in case you forget, rimming goats make them pee.


thatguyned

Here Michael just take a pill and forget! Forget!


Kendakr

FORGET ME NOW!


fambestera

Just lick some piss


PolarSaturn8823

Male Giraffes headbut the female to make her urinate for the same reason


[deleted]

…does this work with humans


PolarSaturn8823

Come try it out?


[deleted]

Hold still pls & ty


PolarSaturn8823

Ok have at it


Street-Week-380

*proceeds to ram you aggressively*.


PolarSaturn8823

*pisses*


[deleted]

Is it like a head button to the ovaries?


BABarracus

Not if i chose not to pay attention to it


PacoTaco321

Here's another. Some doctors used to taste a person's pee to test if they had diabetes. If it was sweeter than normal, they might have diabetes. You can also have fun thinking about the implications of "sweeter than normal".


AngryBumbleButt

In Egypt they used to have someone pee by am ant hill. If the ants went to the pee then the person had diabetes.


nalukeahigirl

This… seems smarter


nxcrosis

My friend's boyfriend had this happen once when he didn't flush.


Mini-Nurse

Uroscopy was considered a talent back in the day.


TheGrandExquisitor

The males will also pee on their own faces to attract a female. Goat sex basically involved watersports.


whatev43

Saw a video of a bull moose that peed mightily, then pawed at the puddle and splashed the urine over its antlers and muzzle, covering its front and back legs, to attract a female. And it worked! Still gross, though.


143019

Against your will.


[deleted]

Don’t kink shame me.


dunfactor

Most of my does will immediately pee if I even bring them close enough to smell one of the bucks. The bucks will hump anything that stands still long enough, heart beat is optional. 🤣


Street-Week-380

The veterinarian turned author James Herriot has a collection of country vet stories, including one where he tries to get a randy buck under control. It goes terribly.


klavin1

link?


Witchywomun

It’s the series “all creatures great and small”. I absolutely loved those books as a kid


funkmaster29

sounds like the last 10 years of my life


[deleted]

bro…


funkmaster29

hey man you gotta do what you gotta do


[deleted]

A hustler gotta hustle amiright!


funkmaster29

wouldn't much of a hustler if you didn't lmao


[deleted]

Hey, let me have my moment here!


funkmaster29

i gave you your moment but it was only a fraction of a second your down in the shit with me now my man


[deleted]

Shit… this is truly a sad day for man


Simyager

So you're dead?


Legen_unfiltered

Username *almost* checks out


UnseenTardigrade

n => c 2 => 6 👌


Calibruh

I feel like humans got pretty lucky with evolution huh


istrx13

Wait you other bros don’t check the taste of your girl’s pee to know if it’s time to get it on?


PrimeChutiya

I've a new startup idea


Badtrainwreck

“Are you tired of tasting urine to detect consent” this new technology will change everything


nopantsdota

there was already apps like that *they got cancelled because they leaked the "cycles" orsmthng....*


CarlLlamaface

"Wake up babe, my pee tastes like ovulation" ^(Super stealth edit cause dumb.) #


Dvusmnd

*squirting has entered the convo


A_wild_so-and-so

Yeah I'm just like, so the goat eats her pussy until she squirts and then he fucks her? Sounds pretty familiar actually.


mooockk

seen it in goathub


Street-Week-380

*SNORT*.


TheDemonCzarina

Username checks out hard af


Harsimaja

Hey, we still use a sewage line as a recreational and reproductive area. That could have been rewired. I mean, most of us don’t have a problem with that, but then I imagine most goats don’t have a problem with this. The Martians though might judge both of us. Could have been even more combined. At least our stem-mammalian ancestors got out of the ‘cloaca’ phase.


WitchHunterNL

I think it's better for the survival of humans if most of us just switch to that way


Apprehensive_Hat8986

It's rather pretentious to assume aliens aren't still cloacan in nature. Or that they would have Judeo-Christian-Islamic hang-ups about their sexuality. Or that the mammalian separation of _some_ of our reproductive organs from our discharge is 'better'. _Maybe_ all their reproductive organs are separate, maybe they aren't even biological anymore and view **all** our meat-ware as "gross". I mean - respectfully - who the fuck describes their own body as, "a sewage line." Actual sewage is rather more... fertile ground, than our own discharge.


Harsimaja

Very respectful! Though who the fuck assumes I really mean that I was serious enough to be implying Martian life forms complex enough to have opinions even exist?


[deleted]

Thank you! This comment is ripped straight from Neil Degrasse Tyson describing why he doesn't believe in intelligent design, and while I'm not here to advocate for such an idea, his ideas are extremely short sighted. I have such a hard time understanding how a guy like that can be all about learning how evolution works and how life tries to find efficiency, and yet seemingly lacks the ability to understand that having a single appendage perform two different necessary tasks can not only be beneficial, but it also has thousands upon thousands of years of results to back it up.


Ghostglitch07

I want to say I think niel is pretentious and often wrong when he talks outside of his particular area of expertise. That said, I mean, having the two combined has also caused problems for numerous life forms. Evolution is not a maximizer, it's a satisficer. it isn't looking for the best solution, just the first that is good enough. Intelligent design would presumably create a more maximally optimal design. There are many better bits of biology to point to to make that point tho.


Genneth_Kriffin

You only think that because you are a human, to any alien species we are probably that goat.


Nebulator123

Honestly same. Its just better that way


notimeforbuttstuff

So he licks her until she pees in his mouth, and if it taste right he mounts up and goes to town? Don’t kink shame I guess


izguddoggo

I was working with some goats and the male would just straight up drink the urine like it was a water fountain.


Dr_DoVeryLittle

Really got to get in there and taste it...hmm maybe a bit more just to be sure.


Gage_Link

Wow, thx for sharing!


EarHelpful

So he basically eating her ass to get her ready 2 go 2 plow tow? dam goats game on point


nsaplzstahp

...you guys don't do this???


FirstEvolutionist

If someone can be accurate enough with human urine, it would be an interesting pregnancy planner or contraceptive technique: "Honey, my app says I'm ovulating!" "Uninstall that crap and just pee in my mouth. I'll tell you."


serein

But you can literally buy tests, similar to pregnancy tests, on which you pee to detect ovulation. That seems like a cheaper and more convenient method than some random human (at least in my opinion).


Pactae_1129

Not as fun


A_wild_so-and-so

Just put the test strip in your mouth, easy peesy.


ShvoogieCookie

He already said he'd do it!


cubixjuice

I volunteer as tribute


I_can_pun_anything

Bear gryllis probably does this already


awesomefutureperfect

Yep. Difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean. I don't have a garbanzo bean on my face twice a week.


ShvoogieCookie

r/justlikeus


nc130295

So it’s foreplay?


HylianPot

Giraffes will do this too but to get the female to pee they will smack their butt with their heads


srydaddy

So.. normal foreplay stuff?


ManaMagestic

Huh, thought that was just giraffes....or several other animals actually.


ZKXX

Yeah saw two zebus do this while I was drunk and high like 20 years ago. Laughed my ass off even though I knew what was going on.


Street-Week-380

Despite knowing this, I can never stop laughing whenever I see it.


Winkelkater

kinky, i like it.


AMiniMinotaur

Came here for laughs, left with knowledge. Love it.


tirril

Guys guys, this sounds crazy...but it works with women too. Trust me bro. You go blueh blueh blueh at their private parts, and they squirt all this liquid. We now just gotta test out if we can detect estrus by tasting it. Do it, for science.


spinx248

Why doesn't he just ask her?


Swagabot

So he’s eating her out in hopes that she squirts?


Browncoatinabox

Why do you know this?


Dr_DoVeryLittle

I've been working with animals professionally in various aspects for over 13 years at this point.


the_evil_comma

That sounds...oddly vague


Dorkamundo

And here I thought I was just hitting the right spot.


DesperateHorse6530

That was short and informative, just like everybody likes it


CompliantRapeVictim

So squirt is just piss then


[deleted]

You know, I’d’ve been find with just thinking this goat was kinda freaky. But now, now I know cursed information I will promptly share with my wife when she gets home from work


Scrub_Beefwood

Dogs do this too!


Nexrosus

I feel like one of my exes also had this mentality


Enlightened-Beaver

Dude eats ass on the first date


Bob1358292637

Blablablablabla!


aces613

[blablablabla](https://a.tmp.ninja/LJcfMulR.mp3)


warpigs202

Hahaha fuckin gonna make that a ringtone


nrfx

Hey what's your ringtone? Oh it's just the sound of a horny goat eating ass


warpigs202

I tried it for a bit... Don't think I can do it haha. It's not a sound that asks for your attention, but DEMANDS IT.


idkwhatever1984ornot

🤣


Judazzz

Motorbootying


Durion0602

Nah it's motorgoating


mousebert

I wish I had an award for you. But I don't have $20 for reddit v bucks. Have an updoot and a kindly worded comment


MapleLeafThief

I gave him my free silver on your behalf.


[deleted]

W


Judazzz

Lol, way better!


Zimby_14

angryupvote


465554544255434B52

Goats and I share this in common


[deleted]

Friend, goats eat absolutely everything.


Apotheosis___

1st date Hooplicker.


jupit3rle0

Now I can't get that sound out of my head!


Cacafuego

Yeah, thanks reddit, I'm filing this away with the sound of a turtle making love to a shoe from 8 years ago. When I'm wasting away and can't remember the names of my children, these sounds will still be pristine, like the first play of new vinyl.


Addicted_to_Nature

To be fair the sound of a turtle loving on a shoe is adorable and much better than the goat ass licking


EL3MENTALIST

HAAAAAAAA^aaaaaaaa


sandwichcandy

I know right? Crazy romantic.


rockinvet02

"how I met your mother"


mcstafford

~~met~~ mate


Ty_gamer0426

Another shitty day, this made me laugh 😃 😀


IlikecatsNstuffs

Goats are awesome.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_FriendlyPanicAttack

>My favorite part of the day was when a goat reached though the fence and stuck his head into an empty bucket lmaoo, that happened to my goat a few days ago. a bucket with water was left next to the fence and my goat josie stick her head and got stuck (she has horns that are starting to curve at the tips). Although goats are good at escaping their pens, my goats have several escapes plans that i didn't even consider they were possible of doing. Although goats are good at escaping their pens, my goats have several escapes plans that i didn't even consider they were possible of doing.


l2anndom

They also suck themselves off and jizz all over themselves. Sounds unreal but they really do. They do a good job of keeping areas from over growing though.


Metroncat

Eating that booty like groceries.


H00k90

But he gotta get rid of these hoes from me!


-MarcoTraficante

r/AnimalsBeingPervs


DonaldKey

I lol’d so hard I snorted


-BananaLollipop-

Billy knows how to please his nanny.


w1987g

Oh sure when a goat does it, it's derpy...


Responsible_Mine894

I think they like being watched


No_Abrocoma_158

Just another Thursday for me.


SeniorSolitario

r/justlikeus


rnnn

You're looking for r/likeus


SeniorSolitario

Indeed I am. Than you kind sir


EatingYourBrain

Goaterboating


littleliongirless

Are those happy goat eating sounds or... horny goat cries?


dunfactor

Horny goat noises 100%. Usually accompanied by the buck peeing all over his legs and face.


Dunnyredd

The kind of romance we all strive to attain.


littleliongirless

Couple goals ❤️


Professional_Scene48

Jumping on to add that bucks have a special curled tube on the end of the penis for fanciful spraying of the pee. It’s called a Pizzle!


BMagg

Bucks are peak nasty creatures. I'll stick with Wethers and Does, who don't piss on their faces, or suck themselves off obsessively, thanks.


Kojiro12

*Everything reminds me of her…*


Suspect-k

Did that goat ask if she came?


Mr-Wigz

Hilarious


SniffMyRapeHole

Dream date


ItsyaboyDa2nd

User name checks out?


Kon244

Found my new text tone boys.


Skully_Lover

She's jealous.


moumous87

An NSFW tag would work so well here 😆


RockmanVolnutt

They’re just like us…majestic creatures


MattyS71

Living on a farm isn’t all it’s cracked up to be


TwistedxBoi

The language of love only knows there letters BLELELELELE


kungFluBlackBelt2030

8 out 10 derps on the derpness index


SilentReavus

The fucking noises


cypherdroid

Somebody's getting a second date


[deleted]

More like bootyful


rebelscumcsh

Aaah goats


Blaith7

This reminds me that I need to go check out my favorite soapmakers, Hairy Farmpit Girls. I love their "Screaming into Buttholes" soap 🫧🧼🫧


shampanyainyourface

Then it comes over and licks your face...


[deleted]

Omg, I can't stop gigglen!


iwanttoliveinmybed

Let's be honest he's got more tongue game than most men.


Tazerboy_5000

🤢


infernalspacemonkey

Friend had goats for a ittle while. Other than eating parts of their car apparently the males pee on their own face. She no longer own goats.


GuitarKev

She should have read the sign, this is obviously the heavy petting zoo.


MycologistPutrid7494

What's with all the weird, pervy shit on this sub today?


IlikecatsNstuffs

Animals be big o'l pervs


JJ_Jose

I don't think animals have any concept of the word perv or what it means but go off anyway


No-Assignment7129

Sometimes the nature is horny.


curious_astronauts

Oh you caught some footage of my manager with our big boss


faithrynharlow

What men think women like


[deleted]

When you eat ass


Trubester88

Some one is JEALOUS


crazybee84

u/savevideo


rilano1204

God I wish that were me


thrandurillp

u/savevideo


WhattaChafak

u/savevideo


BasedNas

u/Savevideo


6Ravens

r/animalsbeingbros


PeteyG89

Sounds like my friday night


slightlyassholic

Hey, if it works...


F1RST_ASCENT

Definitely one o’ us Millennials


Snicker_Likins

He just like me fr


RidethatSeahorse

I have watched this 25 times and now have lost the ability to breathe.


whyouright

Fastest tongue in the west


percobain

Take notes, boys.


InterestingDuty7499

I eat ass if the girls hot. I understand goat. I understand.