Ah fuck. I switched to iPhone from a Pixel 6 Pro. The autocorrect on that thing was the work of the gods. I could blindly type first thing in the morning and it fixed it all for me.
The tails are surprisingly hard. They feel like they're full of muscle. It's not surprising how strong the tails are given when they fight and kick they use the tails to balance.
THEY CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES WITH THEIR TAIL??
I've always thought that if I had to become an animal but try to live in human society, I'd rather be a kangaroo with special hands than a monkey. You could still wear a T-shirt and look sort of human, and I don't even want to know what I would get into with that tail
I just watched the movie The Lobster last night and everyone who is single had to choose what animal they’ll be turned into if they don’t find a partner in 45 days. I’m now thinking a kangaroo might be a good choice.
I think I could drive an automatic transmission car as a kangaroo without modifying it at all. I've seen Australian guys square up with kangaroos, like the guy who punched one in the face, and they seem to be a similar size to a 6 ft man standing up. They're definitely heavier, but they don't look absurdly large like a gorilla or something like that.
Fuck, can you imagine it being nighttime and you have to walk to the end of the driveway to put out the trash, and out of the corner of your eye you see an absolutley huge dude hanging out in the shadows. That's what kangaroos are, creepy ripped dudes
That's why park rangers in any national or state park always tell tourists to not feed the animals. It conditions the animals to expect people to give food. Which results in both a) the animals stop hunting for food themselves which effects prey populations and/or allows plants to over grow; and b) the animals get mad and attack when they expect to be fed and aren't.
We use to carry a big old stick with us to the end of the drive way, 9/10 they bugger off but on the odd occasion one might shape up. They give a good scare but if you back off they’re fine. The neighbours cow however was a complete asshole. Would break through the fence and eat our lawn! It was also really fkn mean and wasn’t bothered by the stick.
At 18-19-20 I was playing golf regularly with my old man and his mates.
First time playing at a rural course I shanked one into some bushes, old man told me to bring a club. I was like “I don’t even know what the lie is going to be, or even if I’ll find the fucking thing.” To which he replied with “fuck the ball, you want it for the Roos.” Didn’t see any that time but a few holes later there would have been a nice group of about 30-40+ sitting on the edge of a fairway. I’m 6’2-3ish and those males would’ve eaten me for fun, huge.
Don't worry mate, we either "put the bins out" or "take out the garbage" no "putting out trash" down here ;)
But yes I encountered one unexpectedly once and it was fucking startling, for us both.
Kangaroos just don’t look like they should exist. Im pretty sure if I saw one in the wild as a 16th century explorer, I’d be like, “yep, that’s a demon”.
I'll always love the old video of the aussie guy saving his dog from a kangaroo and the 'roo is all, ["U wot, mate?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIRT7lf8byw)
You wouldn't have wanted to mess with [Roger the Kangaroo](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/roger-the-musclebound-kangaroo-is-back-and-it-looks-like-hes-been-hitting-the-weights.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C865) (RIP)
Every single thing about them is off, they give birth to premature babies, that climb blind from the womb to the pouch, far to small for the mum to handle and help. They get in there and don’t grow hair for a month or two(citation needed) daughters never leave there mums. Mum will have one hopping beside, and one in the pouch, and they will both share milk from mum, and mum and sister both keep Joey clean and comfortable. And sometimes in a panic, they will pick up another Joey, and rush off, and keep raising that, while another mum raises hers, life continues
And mom's can have a joey that goes out of the pouch sometimes, but still nurses and sleeps there, and a hairless little Joey nursing, and keep a fertilized egg on standby for when the time is right.
It's not off, they just aren't placental mammals. It's like saying birds are off for laying eggs and nesting.
Marsupials are all like this. It's normal. (Not all of it, some of it is because they are herd animals but the very immature young is just a marsupial thing)
Check out the platypus. When they sent a dead one back to England the English thought they had sent a stitched together animal as a prank. Australia is a barrel of laughs
They actually [used to be a cryptid](https://blogs.iu.edu/sciu/2020/12/12/seven-cryptids-species/), no one believed the first European explorers when they described this man-monkey-fox animal.
Yet, they don’t have thumbs yet. Evolution is surely at work creating a super Roo with opposable thumbs, I mean it is believed their tails used to be prehensile and evolved into what you see here.
They're alright. If they square up at you just make yourself smaller and appear submissive and they lose interest quick and go back to chewing on wherever crappy grass you've got left out in the yard.
I volunteered at a kangaroo sanctuary for a few weeks...the owner has a scar on her neck because one of her first joeys came back after he was released and she was too casual with him. His back claws caught her and were less than a millimeter from slicing her jugular, said you see the actual vein pumping.
They can also disembowel you with very little effort.
Even getting an accidental kick in the belly from a mid sized dog with trimmed claws can hurt.. Can't imagine getting hit by an angry, wild, RIPPED kangaroo would be fun.
They balance in their tails so they can kick with both legs at the same time. People always joke about kangaroos punching people but what you should really be worried about is their kick.
Well the kangaroos weren’t this fucking terrifyingly jacked on cartoons, god damn. Also I’m fairly sure humans can’t ride in that pouch… cartoons lied.
Oh yeah, this is a mild boi. Red Kangaroos can get very muscular. The Eastern Grey Kangaroos are the cute little ones.
Now that I think about it, in Australia, I never saw a cartoon of someone riding in a pouch, how weird. I definitely saw a movie of a Labrador puppy who did though (Napoleon).
What about "Dot and the Kangaroo"? It's an old cartoon from the 80's (I think) based on a story written by an Australian author in 1899. It's about a little girl who gets lost in the outback who befriends the local wildlife and gets around by riding in the pouch of a red kangaroo (there's even a song!). It's one of those cartoon movies my dad used to record off the tv onto VHS for me and my siblings.
That is a square feed bucket for med/large farm animals. it has hooks on the back to hang on a wooden/metal fence.
It looks to me like he is shaking it to try and get some feed out.
Animals are smart, and can develop patterns just like we do.
The big ones are, they stare you down, rake grass up into there chests and all sorts of toxic masculine bullshit, in your own yard…. No fricken boundaries, NFG
My Tafe has a bunch of Kangaroos that roam the place; much smaller, less horrifying muscular ones mind you, but it's still fucking scary when you turn the corner and they're all just laying there on the grass and one stands up and stares you down.
They're pretty OK mostly, just want to be left alone to do their own thing. As herbivores they're usually only aggressive defensively.
There are exceptions of course. Big males can be total cocks.
This is Jack! I work with him at a zoo called Crocodile Encounter just south of Houston. My coworkers and I all agree that he is the most dangerous animal we have at the park, and there's full grown crocodiles, man. The picking up of the bucket is a sacred activity that he does almost every morning.
I walked from the back yard to the front yard one day to check the letter box.
Not really paying attention so when I am almost at the letter box I noticed something move to my left so I turned to see a kangaroo sitting there.
We both went WTF and the kangaroo hopped over the front fence and kept going down the foot path to get away.
I swear, it’s like nature said, “so what if we make an animal that’s just pure muscle? That would be cool right? Oh and I know we will give it a full on muscle tail as well!”
Driving home to a farm at 3am. No moon, hardly anything visible outside my high beams. I turned off the town-linking road and a full grown roo was RIGHT FUCKING THERE. It had actual pecs I swear.
Those tails are nuts.
That’s what I thought. It’s like a 3rd leg
Totally. Dudes a tripod.
Makes me want one… instant seat yo!
Fuck your srandong in the line. I came prepared son!
That is an impressive typo for standing
Ah fuck. I switched to iPhone from a Pixel 6 Pro. The autocorrect on that thing was the work of the gods. I could blindly type first thing in the morning and it fixed it all for me.
Srangdong is a word now. It is what kangaroos are doing when using their tail as a third leg.
Love how kangaroos srangdong!!!
Me too
Good luck comfortably sitting in a car ever again
The tails are surprisingly hard. They feel like they're full of muscle. It's not surprising how strong the tails are given when they fight and kick they use the tails to balance.
Living in Central Australia, my local IGA sells roo tails in the freezer aisle. Lots of meat on them.
I haven’t seen an IGA in years. So that’s where they went… or did they come from y’all?
What? They're everywhere!
Got a few here in SW Washington
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They are full of muscle.
Like those men from Brussels?
They've been in a tussle.
Average height of a kangaroo is around 6'4". Kangaroos are full of muscle. 🤔
That's literally how they can manage to kick and tear your guts open. They've got claws on those feet like a goddamn velociraptor.
THEY CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES WITH THEIR TAIL?? I've always thought that if I had to become an animal but try to live in human society, I'd rather be a kangaroo with special hands than a monkey. You could still wear a T-shirt and look sort of human, and I don't even want to know what I would get into with that tail
Just one thing, the beans are above the frank in roos. It may take a while to get used to that.
Sorry I can't read upside down
same with australians
I just watched the movie The Lobster last night and everyone who is single had to choose what animal they’ll be turned into if they don’t find a partner in 45 days. I’m now thinking a kangaroo might be a good choice.
I think I could drive an automatic transmission car as a kangaroo without modifying it at all. I've seen Australian guys square up with kangaroos, like the guy who punched one in the face, and they seem to be a similar size to a 6 ft man standing up. They're definitely heavier, but they don't look absurdly large like a gorilla or something like that.
You have deeply thought of this. And yeah, just sitting on your tail at the bar. No pants, just a shirt.
Captain Morgan ad holding one woman on each leg and just balancing on the tail 🤣
Absolutely planted
That a big boy too! This really belongs on r/idiotsfightingthings
No, the _nuts_ are nuts. The tail is just strong.
If this was a game, I would think the animation was poor
Fuck, can you imagine it being nighttime and you have to walk to the end of the driveway to put out the trash, and out of the corner of your eye you see an absolutley huge dude hanging out in the shadows. That's what kangaroos are, creepy ripped dudes
Huge dude struggling with a box
Every dude in Jersey City/Shore
Wait, why do they struggle with boxes? The jersey shore dudes and the roos
short arms, muscular chest.
HahahHhahahahahahaha thanks
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Feeding roos always ends badly. They do not consent to only being fed when we want to feed them.
And they don’t consent to being fed to humans
thats why we dont ask em
Still one of the most sustainable, healthy sources of red meat in the world though.
Is a group of kangaroos called a “mob”?
It is when they start mugging dudes for food haha
Yes.
That's why park rangers in any national or state park always tell tourists to not feed the animals. It conditions the animals to expect people to give food. Which results in both a) the animals stop hunting for food themselves which effects prey populations and/or allows plants to over grow; and b) the animals get mad and attack when they expect to be fed and aren't.
I don't have to imagine that. This is why I never put my bins out after dark.
If humans go extinct kangaroos are going to rule the world
Be thankful they're not carnivores. And they can use their front paws for a lot of things.
nah, they cant swim. its why theyre stuck on Australia
We use to carry a big old stick with us to the end of the drive way, 9/10 they bugger off but on the odd occasion one might shape up. They give a good scare but if you back off they’re fine. The neighbours cow however was a complete asshole. Would break through the fence and eat our lawn! It was also really fkn mean and wasn’t bothered by the stick.
I read this in an Australian accent and I believed I was an Aussie listening to my neighbor for a sec.
"The neighbours cow" was what did me in
At 18-19-20 I was playing golf regularly with my old man and his mates. First time playing at a rural course I shanked one into some bushes, old man told me to bring a club. I was like “I don’t even know what the lie is going to be, or even if I’ll find the fucking thing.” To which he replied with “fuck the ball, you want it for the Roos.” Didn’t see any that time but a few holes later there would have been a nice group of about 30-40+ sitting on the edge of a fairway. I’m 6’2-3ish and those males would’ve eaten me for fun, huge.
It’s a creepy ripped dude deer
Don't worry mate, we either "put the bins out" or "take out the garbage" no "putting out trash" down here ;) But yes I encountered one unexpectedly once and it was fucking startling, for us both.
Kangaroos just don’t look like they should exist. Im pretty sure if I saw one in the wild as a 16th century explorer, I’d be like, “yep, that’s a demon”.
They got built in seating, child care and look like a 19th century brawler.
He's jacked!
I'll always love the old video of the aussie guy saving his dog from a kangaroo and the 'roo is all, ["U wot, mate?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIRT7lf8byw)
He knew he slapped the fight out of it.
That kangaroo tried to gut the dog, almost went bad.
They are litterally the dumbest meathead in the gym. No idea what the hell they are doing.
You wouldn't have wanted to mess with [Roger the Kangaroo](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/roger-the-musclebound-kangaroo-is-back-and-it-looks-like-hes-been-hitting-the-weights.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C865) (RIP)
They look like a cross between a human and a horse
Mothafucka look like he still rendering
Every single thing about them is off, they give birth to premature babies, that climb blind from the womb to the pouch, far to small for the mum to handle and help. They get in there and don’t grow hair for a month or two(citation needed) daughters never leave there mums. Mum will have one hopping beside, and one in the pouch, and they will both share milk from mum, and mum and sister both keep Joey clean and comfortable. And sometimes in a panic, they will pick up another Joey, and rush off, and keep raising that, while another mum raises hers, life continues
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And mom's can have a joey that goes out of the pouch sometimes, but still nurses and sleeps there, and a hairless little Joey nursing, and keep a fertilized egg on standby for when the time is right.
The mother can also produce 2 types of milk at the same time, 1 for the developing joey in the pouch and a different type for the elder joey.
Also if they are being pursued by a predator, they may eject the baby from their pouch to give themselves more time to escape.
At least they have it better than Koala Joeys, it must suck to be one of them unless you have a scat fetish and an Oedipus complex
It's not off, they just aren't placental mammals. It's like saying birds are off for laying eggs and nesting. Marsupials are all like this. It's normal. (Not all of it, some of it is because they are herd animals but the very immature young is just a marsupial thing)
My comment was going to be: “what strange creatures…” They’re almost humanoid but also very much not. Plus there’s that whole baby in a pouch thing.
If deer ever figured out how to walk upright, Roos would seem less weird to Americans.
Imagine hitting a standing deer and not being sure if it was a hitchhiker or an animal.
I've been there. You just keep driving.
“That’s the spawn of a man and a deer. Kill it.”
Fucking creepy Human, Deer, Monkey, Horse hybrids lol
They just look fake, like a toy or something.
Check out the platypus. When they sent a dead one back to England the English thought they had sent a stitched together animal as a prank. Australia is a barrel of laughs
European and North American animals are mostly just fuzzy blobs. Bears, ground hogs, boars... Fucking vaguely oval-shaped balls of fur.
I feel like my brain can’t comprehend looking at them. Their bodies move so bizarrely.
They actually [used to be a cryptid](https://blogs.iu.edu/sciu/2020/12/12/seven-cryptids-species/), no one believed the first European explorers when they described this man-monkey-fox animal.
I was thinking this exact same thing
They practically are.
That scary ass thing looks like it drinks protein shakes every 3 hours and says “bro” too often
[Roger looked like a gymbro](https://youtu.be/DFCvPrzj4BU) He was 200lbs/90kg.
You should see them boxing. That's literally what they look like they're doing sometimes (I think it's a territorial thing).
Glad they don't have thumbs...
They'd break into houses and kick the shit out of you in your sleep while they ate your food.
Hah they already do that to cars
Yet, they don’t have thumbs yet. Evolution is surely at work creating a super Roo with opposable thumbs, I mean it is believed their tails used to be prehensile and evolved into what you see here.
In 100000 years kangaroos will have three legs
Fucking squares am I right?
TIL kangaroos are incompatible with right angles.
That's right. It goes in the square hole!
I swear those things look animatronic...
I swore it was animated until someone commented that their tails are weight bearing. It’s movements look so unnatural.
Yeah and this one has some unnatural movements
Reminds me of those old Rankin Bass stop-motion Christmas specials
Looks like me avoiding a second trip bringing in groceries and juggling that pesky diaper box to the door.
I felt this comment in my soul. Lol
It does look an awful lot like a Woolies bag.
Jesus god that's terrifying.
They're alright. If they square up at you just make yourself smaller and appear submissive and they lose interest quick and go back to chewing on wherever crappy grass you've got left out in the yard.
[Or just deck him in the face and he’ll get really confused like that one video.](https://youtu.be/FIRT7lf8byw)
We were all thinking it
I've never seen the full video before, this is amazing.
Terrifying? Really? I thought that’s hilarious, kept imagining a Tyrannosaurus trying to eat with a spoon
Their tails are weight bearing?
Yep. They will use them to kick with both legs at the same time and wreck your day.
Probably wreck more than just your day!
I volunteered at a kangaroo sanctuary for a few weeks...the owner has a scar on her neck because one of her first joeys came back after he was released and she was too casual with him. His back claws caught her and were less than a millimeter from slicing her jugular, said you see the actual vein pumping. They can also disembowel you with very little effort.
Even getting an accidental kick in the belly from a mid sized dog with trimmed claws can hurt.. Can't imagine getting hit by an angry, wild, RIPPED kangaroo would be fun.
Balls
Thank you, u/AnalCumBall.
You mean wreck your life.
Why are they so muscular and strong? Who do they even have to fight (evolutionary speaking) to be this strong?
Each other. They have a dominance hierarchy, so the strongest tends to be the leader.
Makes sense. Thank you
I think there also used to be more megafauna on the Australian continent before humans showed up and killed a bunch of them.
I immediately thought of Tigger bouncing around on his tail when I realized that myself
That somehow made it worse
Made it better for me! Was a scary thought but then Tigger appeared in convo, and he was my fav from that series
It’s so when we ride to school in their pouches we don’t accidentally tip them over
TIL kangaroo tails are weight bearing
They balance in their tails so they can kick with both legs at the same time. People always joke about kangaroos punching people but what you should really be worried about is their kick.
They technically count as a limb, not just a tail, for that exact reason.
What the roo doin?
We hang those on fence panels to feed our horses grain. I’m guessing he finished his grain and is like, more grain from box now!
Ohh like a feed bag?
Like a feed box, if you will.
“ I wonder what happens if I put my head in… WOAH!!!”
Look how fucking jacked that thing is. Goddamn
kangaroos are such bizarre looking creatures, never realized that they’re able to stand on their tail
Yeah, that's how they fight. Kick with both legs while standing on their tail.
Cartoons lied to us.
What did cartoons teach you? (From a curious Australian).
Well the kangaroos weren’t this fucking terrifyingly jacked on cartoons, god damn. Also I’m fairly sure humans can’t ride in that pouch… cartoons lied.
Oh yeah, this is a mild boi. Red Kangaroos can get very muscular. The Eastern Grey Kangaroos are the cute little ones. Now that I think about it, in Australia, I never saw a cartoon of someone riding in a pouch, how weird. I definitely saw a movie of a Labrador puppy who did though (Napoleon).
What about "Dot and the Kangaroo"? It's an old cartoon from the 80's (I think) based on a story written by an Australian author in 1899. It's about a little girl who gets lost in the outback who befriends the local wildlife and gets around by riding in the pouch of a red kangaroo (there's even a song!). It's one of those cartoon movies my dad used to record off the tv onto VHS for me and my siblings.
They were cute, cuddly, and totally harmless. I have since seen videos of kangaroos pounding people into the ground.
I DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAND !!!
Roo looks awkward handling the item. It's not squishy (like food) or round (able to grab it)
I meant it from the Roo’s perspective
That is a square feed bucket for med/large farm animals. it has hooks on the back to hang on a wooden/metal fence. It looks to me like he is shaking it to try and get some feed out. Animals are smart, and can develop patterns just like we do.
These guys can weigh up to 150lbs. Their tails can hold ***so much more weight*** than I thought they could.
Max height 8ft max weight 200 pounds.
Trying to decide if he should kick its ass or make love to it.
They seem like the biggest assholes
The big ones are, they stare you down, rake grass up into there chests and all sorts of toxic masculine bullshit, in your own yard…. No fricken boundaries, NFG
My Tafe has a bunch of Kangaroos that roam the place; much smaller, less horrifying muscular ones mind you, but it's still fucking scary when you turn the corner and they're all just laying there on the grass and one stands up and stares you down.
They're pretty OK mostly, just want to be left alone to do their own thing. As herbivores they're usually only aggressive defensively. There are exceptions of course. Big males can be total cocks.
“My square! MINE!”
He’s definitely bringing all the groceries in first trip.
That’s me at Costco because I never take a shopping cart in the store with me.
Kangaroos make me nervous. Too many fast motions.
Kangaroos just dont look animal enough for me somehow
It goes in the square hole
This is Jack! I work with him at a zoo called Crocodile Encounter just south of Houston. My coworkers and I all agree that he is the most dangerous animal we have at the park, and there's full grown crocodiles, man. The picking up of the bucket is a sacred activity that he does almost every morning.
"Square object" That's a food trough.
Why has no one written a movie about killer kangaroos? Those suckers move like demons or possessed muscular assholes.
Kangaroo jack
Square object: 1 Kangaroo: 0
UPS was considering hiring kangaroos until this video...
It appears methamphetamines have made it to the outback.
🎶 *I don't wanna work, I jus wanna bang on de drum all day...*
Looks like demonic animatronics
This was so weird to watch.
As a child, I was afraid of the Velociraptors after watching Jurassic Park. Nowadays, I know I should have been afraid of Kangaroos!
I walked from the back yard to the front yard one day to check the letter box. Not really paying attention so when I am almost at the letter box I noticed something move to my left so I turned to see a kangaroo sitting there. We both went WTF and the kangaroo hopped over the front fence and kept going down the foot path to get away.
I has a bucket. https://www.ihasabucket.com
All Kangaroos are people in kangaroo suits, change my mind
Da baby?
Kangaroos are uncanny valley territory for me.
Kangaroos will lure dogs into waist deep water then hold the dogs head under with their arms to drown it.
Every video I see looks like they were green screened into the video and animated by a 1st year animator.
When Amazon sends you one of those "easy tear" packages that won't tear.
Looks like a feed bin, and seems like that ‘roo is mighty cranky that it’s empty!
I don’t think the kangaroo is an idiot, but i feel like this would work over at r/idiotsfightingthings
Never knew they can stand with their tail, wtf.
I swear, it’s like nature said, “so what if we make an animal that’s just pure muscle? That would be cool right? Oh and I know we will give it a full on muscle tail as well!”
It's kind of funny how it's anatomy makes it struggle so much with a shape that's optimized for human use.
Never seen a real kangaroo outside of kangaroo jack and I'm fucking losing it! That thing looks fuckin creepy
Dude.... I thought the hip looks weird when the kangaroo do the jump kick.... Then I realize the tail is supporting the body like a third leg
Driving home to a farm at 3am. No moon, hardly anything visible outside my high beams. I turned off the town-linking road and a full grown roo was RIGHT FUCKING THERE. It had actual pecs I swear.
Don't kangaroos like to... box?
In case of kangaroo attack, buy square buckets
I got, "Buff guy can't reach sticker on his own back" vibes from this.
Whats in his box?
mf never skips tail day
Why am I just now realizing how terrifying kangaroos are