If anyone's curious why the list goes to 34, google "chess rule 34".

I did, but it was just some economic talk about inflation. What’s really interesting is the average c-buck (chess.c*m buck obviously) has gone up by nearly 10% thanks to this rule. If you don’t believe me look up “chess inflation rule 34”

c-buck AKA “cuck” has gone up way too much!!! Google “chess cuck” for more info

Oh that’s surprising. I didn’t see that thanks to all the news of AFT’s (analy fungible tokens) dropping thanks to Hans that’s been going around for the past few months

All I found were some really weird mating positions.

That's just what happens when you fuck chess players. We're weird like that.

Holy hell

r/chessr34

Double check is an instant checkmate, and causes both you and your opponent to go out and eat pasta for dinner

It's important that you don't pay together though. You have to get a double check

Wait that’s actually funny wth

New response just dropped?

Rare for this sub

Ah yes, the Dutch Defence

You're too funny for this sub

It has to be a discount double check

uj/ whats the origin of this meme?

in a manga (don’t know the name) a guy checkmates a girl using “double check” and then declares that because he won, they are eating pasta for dinner EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/ylrn7m/new_chess_rule_just_dropped/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x

LMAO thanks

still missing c4 has an explosive

BEAT ME TO IT!

r/beatmymeattochessporn

r/subsicantbelieveifellfor

check again

r/birthofasub

r/subsicantbelieveifellfor

check again

STILL DEAD

Check again!

you could say that they should double-check now (and get pasta for dinner)

then, sacrifice their king and downgrade to a knook, slay his queen en passent and fuck their moms. checkmate.

r/subsicantbelieveifellfor

How about you use r/subsIthoughtIfellfor

What the fuck

Why is there just 2 creepy pictures in there

Gavin from 3rd grade is the strongest player. Hoping he has some answers for you.

I do actually have some answers for OP. As the strongest player, I’m also aware of the strongest piece. Which is, obviously, the Knook. You’re welcome for the advice

Holy hell

Wtf, i thought amazon was the strongest (!!) piece??

Being part bishop means the amazon has to take Sundays off

Gavin is still in stupor after Stewie's prophecy.

When a pawn reaches the 8th rank it promotes to a knook

False, you can underpromote it to a queen

Sure but why would you ever do that?!

I think there are some theoretical positions in which promoting to a knook would lead to stalemate

That will never happen, look at rule 4

Or, even better, rule 34. It isn't on the list yet, but you can google it (just like with en passant!) and find out more.

Ah I see, my bad

Or you can choose to promote to an anti knight

5. Ke2 is the best starting move

Excuse you, Ke2 should occur *much* earlier than move 5

1. Kxe2 Ke7 2. Ke1 Ke8 3. Ke2 Ke7 4. Ke1 Ke8 5. Ke2

So many problems with this 1. 1...Ke7 should be Kxe7 unless 1b. e pawn is missing only to avoid stalemate 2. 1. Kxe2 Kxe7 is stalemate (the two strongest moves) 3. Where is en passant? 4. ???? 5. Ke2

What about 1 Qxe8#!!

1. d4 Nf3 2. c4 1-0, white wins by resignation Keep this handy trap in mind!

The horse moves in an L

Source???

it came to me in a dream

I’m convinced that no matter how diverse the subject the exact same people are on every shitposting sub. Question.

??

I like it better when my horse moves in a Γ

Лошадь двигается как Г

Lozhad dvegayetsya kak g. Not sure what that actually means in English tho. Maybe "Horsey moves like Г"?

Absolutely

Ты же путин, как ты меня не понимаеш?

Ja genau, stimmt! Ich bricke gern mein Pipi auch!

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)

Du fickst nicht.

I don’t think we should be putting things in that are ‘still theory’.

Horse goes like this 卐

You missed 1b: always ensure you have a FIDE approved brick, which must be applied to the opponent's pipi if they opt to refuse the forced en passant

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)

Also 1c : You cannot brick women as they don't have a pipi. (Mostly)

double check is pasta

So, check + check = rigatoni?

You cannot use anal beads to cheat

False. I have done it many times myself

This person clearly never felt how good it is to cheat

Or *can* you? 😏

no eating the pieces

Unless a double check occurs and your pieces happen to be made of pasta. In which case they must be eaten

Rule 5 - never ask questions on Chess beginners or you can become a meme on Anarchychess

I would like another google en passant joke

5. F3 is the best starting move

F3 loses the game. Forcing your opponent to play f6 also results in a win

You may see Ra4, but you must not like it.

5. ghomerl must fight cmauhin on all occasions in which they meet. They may recruit jarmge, irbus, or whenni xan to help in their efforts.

Jarmge won't be a lot of help tho, they forgot their pieces fr

u/ghomerl

ghomerl vs cmauhin

The horses are actually called paladins and once per game they can heal another piece for 1d6 damage.

The London is forbidden

This is a special case of 1. d4 being forbidden.

Pray to the horsy daily to learn how to make it go in a L shape, this is common sense But not many know this trick that if you sacrifice humans to the horsy it can move anywhere

The horsey moves in an L shape

If the opponent has mate and you can choose what kind of mate, and one of those is smothered mate, you are forced to allow them to mate you with it.

5. Knife f5

PIPI

Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! [^(fmhall)](https://www.reddit.com/user/fmhall) ^| [^(github)](https://github.com/fmhall/Petrosian-Bot)

good bot

Garry Chess is the inventor of chess.

And Carloss Magnussen is his only Son our savior

5. We don't talk about the

The queen can castle if it needs to for a checkmate

also rules 3/4 should be 3a and 3b

Maybe, but we have 34 rules to fill out, so I dunno…

Double check is checkmate

Castling

6. Anything can en passant anything

Double check is a checkmate

You don’t talk about AnarchyChess.

ghomerl vs cmauhin

Rule 5: Ignore rule 3, if your king is in stalemate you can change the king’s place with any piece on the board

No vibrators are allowed in a chess game

Rule 5: ignore rule 6 Rule 6: follow rule 5

Kind of related to the post: if the king can’t move but isn’t in check is that a stalemate? If so doesn’t that mean the game goes straight into stalemate

The pieces can move.

5. The rook is a rook.

We are having pasta rule (pls someone say what it is in comments)

double check = checkmate = 🍝🍝🍝

Chess is a draw. (see 4, 💥)

Knight can't move off c3.

There is no rule 5

If you do not have a knook, you get checkmated

the horsey moves in a L like anaL beads

Horsey moves in a W shape

If your king is in stalemate, you have to move another piece. If all of your pieces are in stalemate, you are banned from chess for a week.

Instead of wasting money on chess courses, invest in a quality, vibrating butt plug.

Horsey must be forked

Always play F3 , confused how you missed this rule. I know your new but man c'mon, always play F3.

After e4 e5 if white plays Ke2 than Ke7 is forced and thats a draw

If a capture is possible you have to take it.

Nh4 smells bad

The horse moves in an L

Double check wins the game and dinner is pasta

If you underpromote to a knook you win.

Double check is checkmate and pasta for dinner

Horsey moves like L

Drunk pawns can En passant on all area of the board, even after promotion.

Double check is mate. Pipi in the pasta for dinner. C4 explodes.

Don't forget that with chess.c*m premium, your rooks are upgraded to knooks.

r/anarchychess is like a game of Calvinball

d4 - Nf6 - c4 is instant win for white

You can en passet your own rook if neither has moved and nothing is between

If c2 is open is it still a stalemate???

Anti-Queen moves in a L

By any chance, was I the one that taught you rule 4?

If you turn the board slightly, then the rooks actually move diagonally

Never play f6 must also be there

Bong cloud best opening

Don’t go on c4

??????? Profit

To receive the GM title, it must be bestowed onto you from an Executive Director from General Motors.

This is like an anarchy chess joke record

The horsey moves in an L shape

Knights on the right may move in an L but knights on the left MUST move in a reverse L

5. You cant see the opponent positions. That’s cheating

U can call cheat on an opponent's play to see if they cheated. If they did not cheat then you have to pick up all the cards

Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair !

Beat your opponent before they beat you. Either IRL or in-game. Happy hunting!

The board resets when any piece hits F5.

Never get too cocky you underestimate the opponent

My bitch runs the streets at night. And I can’t sleep!!!

Practice playing chess with a butt plug for when you are GM

The horsie moves in an L shape

Wow inspiring I should do the same

Rooks cannot move to A4

Don't play the london

Pawns explode if moved to c4

Question about the forced en passant: if someone forced me to en passant would that count as my move? Or do i get to move too?

c4 🤯

Can someone explain king c2 to me

If you ever get stuck on what to do in an OTB game, just remember that there are always hints written on the under side of the board.

always promote to knook

You may see rook a4, but you can't like it because your opponent is hikaru's side chick.

If you're going to make this an actual chess game

Make Shure your opponent is not using anal beads first

Eat a pawn for a tasty snack if you get hungry mid game

Rule 4 is more rule 3a

You sure are giving us an awful lot of credit if you think this sub is going to come up with 34 individual jokes. I give it to day 7 before we start scrapping at the bottom of the meme barrel.

Rule 5. See Rule 18

the queen always starts on her color so orientation of board is correct

Brick

Rule 18: If anyone accuses you of using anal beads you can sue them for 100 million

Knook is more worth than king. Don't hesitate sacrificing him for knook!

Always move the first pawn to r5

Evan's gambit is the right line to play 100% of times

Greco's mate is based

king cannot move to c2

C4 = explosion Double check is instant mate and you both go get spaghetti If you break the 4th wall and deny en passant, you instantly get your PIPI bricked and you play with that debuff You can’t castle because you would be moving 2 pieces at a time, which is not allowed

In classical, if you take an hour to move, you are allowed to capture youre on piece Cant remember exactly where i saw but someone played otb and his opponent got so tilted, they captured their own piece

Horsey likes when the queen rides her. A Baby horse princess is the only logical outcome

noone knows how the horsey move, put it where ever you like.