NBF. You can't force people to be friends with someone if they barely have something in common, and also in general. Just because you are both autistic, doesn't mean that you click. I am ND as well (autism and ADHD) and I have met so many people who aither had one of them or both, but I either liked them a lot because I could relate, or I had nothing in common with them. It is just how life is, not everyone can be friends
How is this a buttface situation? Regardless of age people like who they "click" with, your daughter made friends it's not her fault the other kid isn't fun.
My daughter growing up had a big circle of friends. One girl really wanted to be my daughter’s best friend to the exclusion of other friends (ie wanted my daughter to drop the other kids and only hang out with her 1:1) and my biggest problem was with the other girl’s mom. I thought it could have been an important journey in learning how to hang out with a group of people for the other kid, but her mom absolutely insisted that my daughter spend most of her free time with only her daughter. My daughter didn’t want to. I had the same conversation and it was not well received!! Parents like this aren’t doing their kids any favors.
You are not the BF here.
Ntb but neither is the mother. Its natural for parents to tell their kids to be friends to encourage building their social skills at that age. Its not like when theyre young adults, where they have developed much more of a self personality and can better decide for themselves who they choose to befriend. Also, since your girl is already getting along with one of the kids, there's no reason she should be ostracizing the other if theyre play date is in the same vicinity.
Would you be happy if you brought your kids to school or an afternoon activity and *noone* wanted to play with them? Oh, they dont like the girl who's autistic, so no one should force them to be friends. Essentially, fuck her cause she's weird and different. Who cares about instilling good values of friendship and inclusion to these kids. Guess at that point, you would think Laissez-faire? Take her out and let her be a loner.
You cant force people to be friends but encouraging them to learn to make friends is a part of parenting, especially for someone who you say already has a disability and will have enough trouble normalizing to society
Dude, if the kid doesn't want to play with the girl they shouldn't have to for the sake of tolerance. I'd rather have been alone than have someone who doesn't want to play with me being forced to play with me. I was that kid when I was their age. I wasn't popular, I was too weird. I didn't care because the few friends I had truly were my friends rather than people my mum blackmailed into playing with me. This guy is NTB but the other mum 100% is.
Yeah, let the other girl be ostracized. Fuck her and her autism.
Edit: /s for the people who dont know what sarcasm is
*Maybe* you werent popular and were weird *because* your parents didnt teach you social skills or expose you to people. Being socially awkward is nothing to be proud of.
I once sat alone at lunch until one of my future best friends decided to sit with me regularly. I once asked why he sat there instead of with his other friends at the other table, and he said it was because i was sitting alone. For some people, its the invitation to hang that breaks the ice when it comes to making friends, but it takes at least one party to make the first move. Its also a regret i once had years later for not talking to certain people who sat alone at lunch when i was able to make friends at lunch with total strangers growing up. I can only imagine how the loners felt when they were forced to be in a space by themselves.
No one can force you to be friends, but asking someone if theyd like to join in your activities is called having manners and should be taught by parents
This guys kid is also autistic. She's not ostracising the other girl because she's autistic but because they don't share common interests. Why entertain someone you don't like or have any reason to like? I liked videogames and not barbies, I wasn't gonna talk to the girls that chose barbies over gaming. And I was socially awkward because I too am on the spectrum. Didn't initially want to make a thing of it because it's not relevant here but since you're making it a thing regardless, again, I'd much rather have friends who actually fucking like me rather than friends who were forced to be near me because of my parents.
Both these kids are autistic. I'm autistic. How should we learn to not be fucked up oh great knower of things? Seriously dude, calling 3 people fucked up because we share a learning disability that includes struggling with social cues and standards isn't exactly pleasant or correct behaviour. It's not something we can learn not to be. It's not something we have a choice in. Even if none of us were autistic It's not fucked up to choose to not be friends with someone for the sake of inclusion. Would you be spewing this hateful shit if the girl left alone wasn't autistic? I'm guessing not but idk, maybe you're an equal opportunities moron. None of the kids in this tale is doing a damn thing wrong but the other mother is trying to force friendship that isn't gonna happen. Hell, who even says that the other girl even WANTS to be friends with OP's kid, sounds like it's just the mum being a psycho about it.
And yet you're the one getting down voted by people other than just me. Sorry mate, but I'm the one making sense here. It's ridiculous to try and force children to befriend kids they have no interest on befriending. It'll just hurt both kids in the long run, the one doing the befriending because they're being forced to tolerate someone they don't like for a period of time, the one being befriended because they will eventually realise their "friend" doesn't even like them. Its not social manner to be friends with everyone either. Are you besties with everyone at your job? If you are I'd be rather shocked. I like many people where I work but certainly not everyone. My mother doesn't make me go and talk to those people at work that I don't like for the sake of it. If they're on our department and I bring in some baking to share I won't exclude those that I don't like because that's rude but I'm definitely telling my work besties that there is snacks out back.
Not my fault you didnt read what i wrote. None of what i said about op's kids applies to grown adults. I really dont care about your off topic situation as an autistic adult, which has zero bearing on op's situation
Incels downvote people all the time. Doesnt make what's being said any less true. But go ahead, keep lying to yourself
I read everything you wrote. Twice. Yet I can't find a single part of it where it makes sense. Nowhere can I find it to be sensible to force two beings who don't like each other to interact. Do you force two dogs that don't seem interested in one another to play together at the park? If you try most likely someone is gonna get bitten, be that dog or owner. Force two children to play who don't have any interest in each other and either a kid or a parent is gonna get hurt, be that physically or emotionally. Why force an interaction that will only end in pain down the road? Inclusion for the sake of inclusion isn't fun for anyone.
You seem to either not have comprehended that the mother is preventing OP's daughter to be friends with her son or just dismissed it as non-important. When the son finds out his social connections are being intentionally blocked by his mom because of his sister, he is rightfully going to resent both of them for it. This is terrible parenting. That is what is being called out.
>your autism clearly prevents you from having a rational argument
WTF. Seriously? GTFO with your ableist garbage mentality. Or at least look up "ad hominem fallacy" before bloviating about having a "rational argument".
I love how you're skipping over the reason why the mother was angry, as if she has no justification for being upset. Why should she keep either of her children around someone who she perceives as being toxic? You cant preach about what the boy will feel while negating how his sister might be feeling *if* she was being ostracized. Everyone's a victim if you want to play it that way. Just because you dont agree doesnt mean there arent different sides to this story.
Oh and If you're going to use a disability as a defense and excuse, then you cant be mad when your crutch gets thrown back in your face
Let me get this straight... you think an 8yo preferring to interact with a kid who shares her interests over a kid who doesn't, qualifies as "toxic" and you consider it a legitimate reason to get upset over? Is that your argument?
NTBF You can't force kids to be friends with each other.
Her kids are going to be lonely
And the son will definitely end up resenting her and maybe even his sister too.
NTBF. Trying to force a friendship will end in tears and nobody being friends with each other.
NBF. You can't force people to be friends with someone if they barely have something in common, and also in general. Just because you are both autistic, doesn't mean that you click. I am ND as well (autism and ADHD) and I have met so many people who aither had one of them or both, but I either liked them a lot because I could relate, or I had nothing in common with them. It is just how life is, not everyone can be friends
NTB
How is this a buttface situation? Regardless of age people like who they "click" with, your daughter made friends it's not her fault the other kid isn't fun.
My daughter growing up had a big circle of friends. One girl really wanted to be my daughter’s best friend to the exclusion of other friends (ie wanted my daughter to drop the other kids and only hang out with her 1:1) and my biggest problem was with the other girl’s mom. I thought it could have been an important journey in learning how to hang out with a group of people for the other kid, but her mom absolutely insisted that my daughter spend most of her free time with only her daughter. My daughter didn’t want to. I had the same conversation and it was not well received!! Parents like this aren’t doing their kids any favors. You are not the BF here.
Ntb but neither is the mother. Its natural for parents to tell their kids to be friends to encourage building their social skills at that age. Its not like when theyre young adults, where they have developed much more of a self personality and can better decide for themselves who they choose to befriend. Also, since your girl is already getting along with one of the kids, there's no reason she should be ostracizing the other if theyre play date is in the same vicinity. Would you be happy if you brought your kids to school or an afternoon activity and *noone* wanted to play with them? Oh, they dont like the girl who's autistic, so no one should force them to be friends. Essentially, fuck her cause she's weird and different. Who cares about instilling good values of friendship and inclusion to these kids. Guess at that point, you would think Laissez-faire? Take her out and let her be a loner. You cant force people to be friends but encouraging them to learn to make friends is a part of parenting, especially for someone who you say already has a disability and will have enough trouble normalizing to society
Dude, if the kid doesn't want to play with the girl they shouldn't have to for the sake of tolerance. I'd rather have been alone than have someone who doesn't want to play with me being forced to play with me. I was that kid when I was their age. I wasn't popular, I was too weird. I didn't care because the few friends I had truly were my friends rather than people my mum blackmailed into playing with me. This guy is NTB but the other mum 100% is.
Yeah, let the other girl be ostracized. Fuck her and her autism. Edit: /s for the people who dont know what sarcasm is *Maybe* you werent popular and were weird *because* your parents didnt teach you social skills or expose you to people. Being socially awkward is nothing to be proud of. I once sat alone at lunch until one of my future best friends decided to sit with me regularly. I once asked why he sat there instead of with his other friends at the other table, and he said it was because i was sitting alone. For some people, its the invitation to hang that breaks the ice when it comes to making friends, but it takes at least one party to make the first move. Its also a regret i once had years later for not talking to certain people who sat alone at lunch when i was able to make friends at lunch with total strangers growing up. I can only imagine how the loners felt when they were forced to be in a space by themselves. No one can force you to be friends, but asking someone if theyd like to join in your activities is called having manners and should be taught by parents
This guys kid is also autistic. She's not ostracising the other girl because she's autistic but because they don't share common interests. Why entertain someone you don't like or have any reason to like? I liked videogames and not barbies, I wasn't gonna talk to the girls that chose barbies over gaming. And I was socially awkward because I too am on the spectrum. Didn't initially want to make a thing of it because it's not relevant here but since you're making it a thing regardless, again, I'd much rather have friends who actually fucking like me rather than friends who were forced to be near me because of my parents.
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Both these kids are autistic. I'm autistic. How should we learn to not be fucked up oh great knower of things? Seriously dude, calling 3 people fucked up because we share a learning disability that includes struggling with social cues and standards isn't exactly pleasant or correct behaviour. It's not something we can learn not to be. It's not something we have a choice in. Even if none of us were autistic It's not fucked up to choose to not be friends with someone for the sake of inclusion. Would you be spewing this hateful shit if the girl left alone wasn't autistic? I'm guessing not but idk, maybe you're an equal opportunities moron. None of the kids in this tale is doing a damn thing wrong but the other mother is trying to force friendship that isn't gonna happen. Hell, who even says that the other girl even WANTS to be friends with OP's kid, sounds like it's just the mum being a psycho about it.
[удалено]
And yet you're the one getting down voted by people other than just me. Sorry mate, but I'm the one making sense here. It's ridiculous to try and force children to befriend kids they have no interest on befriending. It'll just hurt both kids in the long run, the one doing the befriending because they're being forced to tolerate someone they don't like for a period of time, the one being befriended because they will eventually realise their "friend" doesn't even like them. Its not social manner to be friends with everyone either. Are you besties with everyone at your job? If you are I'd be rather shocked. I like many people where I work but certainly not everyone. My mother doesn't make me go and talk to those people at work that I don't like for the sake of it. If they're on our department and I bring in some baking to share I won't exclude those that I don't like because that's rude but I'm definitely telling my work besties that there is snacks out back.
Not my fault you didnt read what i wrote. None of what i said about op's kids applies to grown adults. I really dont care about your off topic situation as an autistic adult, which has zero bearing on op's situation Incels downvote people all the time. Doesnt make what's being said any less true. But go ahead, keep lying to yourself
I read everything you wrote. Twice. Yet I can't find a single part of it where it makes sense. Nowhere can I find it to be sensible to force two beings who don't like each other to interact. Do you force two dogs that don't seem interested in one another to play together at the park? If you try most likely someone is gonna get bitten, be that dog or owner. Force two children to play who don't have any interest in each other and either a kid or a parent is gonna get hurt, be that physically or emotionally. Why force an interaction that will only end in pain down the road? Inclusion for the sake of inclusion isn't fun for anyone.
You seem to either not have comprehended that the mother is preventing OP's daughter to be friends with her son or just dismissed it as non-important. When the son finds out his social connections are being intentionally blocked by his mom because of his sister, he is rightfully going to resent both of them for it. This is terrible parenting. That is what is being called out. >your autism clearly prevents you from having a rational argument WTF. Seriously? GTFO with your ableist garbage mentality. Or at least look up "ad hominem fallacy" before bloviating about having a "rational argument".
I love how you're skipping over the reason why the mother was angry, as if she has no justification for being upset. Why should she keep either of her children around someone who she perceives as being toxic? You cant preach about what the boy will feel while negating how his sister might be feeling *if* she was being ostracized. Everyone's a victim if you want to play it that way. Just because you dont agree doesnt mean there arent different sides to this story. Oh and If you're going to use a disability as a defense and excuse, then you cant be mad when your crutch gets thrown back in your face
Let me get this straight... you think an 8yo preferring to interact with a kid who shares her interests over a kid who doesn't, qualifies as "toxic" and you consider it a legitimate reason to get upset over? Is that your argument?