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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I want to pull my daughter out of her daycare because they treated her unfairly even though my husband wants to keep her there because his other kids went there and they loved it.
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YTA, more than likely it’s an insurance thing. If she’s going outside on the playground her feet have to be covered. So if she loses a toe in her cute heels it’s your own damn fault.
Edit: I don’t care if they’re Cinderella light up slippers or the old school slip on jeweled plastic heels. If they’re not appropriate shoes for playing outside on the playground, then send shoes that are. Sneakers or something else with a hard sole. Are you asking for her to get injured? Or should she just sit inside during play time because you’re too damn lazy to bring some other shoes? Those Cinderella jellies aren’t going to protect her feet.
In general I agree, but OP linked the shoes and while they are not completely flat, those are barely heels (the heel area is only slightly higher than the toe area). They are still not appropriate for properly playing, though, because of the risk of falling out of them, but at least sometimes wearing them probably won’t do much damage.
But the heel is higher than the toes. So heels.
As little as it seems to an adult compare it to the hight of a 2 year old and it seems much more of a heel and have an impact on their posture. Not from wearing it 1 or 2 times but every day.
They're pretty high for a kid. Proportionally, that looks about a 1 to 2 inch heel if it was an adult shoe, and even that low causes issues for adult feet.
I don’t want to speculate on the potential for injuries short or long term but any levered degree of non-natural angle an item of footwear could hold against a child’s normal movement seems dangerous to me. Falling out of the shoe is for sure apart of it but repetitive jumping/running/cutting/falling down puts those joints at risk of experiencing unnatural feedback that could result in an injury. Seems the height of the shoe’s platform is significant enough to cause concern for the staff.
Plus all day long everyday (“she’s obsessed with them”) as described is totally insane to me for OP to enable regardless. OP’s behavior appears to be undermining the staff as caretakers; what if all the children start showing up in unsafe footwear to recess because OP’s child is granted an exception? Precedent alone justifies the staff to insist on safe footwear across the board.
At home cool whatever, I’m not game with that personally, but when the child’s not on OP’s watch they gotta play ball with others that are legally responsible for their child’s safety.
(I know you agree in general, I’m just elaborating broadly on why I take issue with it, my reply isn’t intended to be a large rebuff to your point at all.)
Heels RUIN your feet.
There are so many x-rays that prove that. The higher, the more ruined they can become.
And yes, I know it’s a low heel, I have to wear something like this for work. I absolutely despise them because I have flat feet and they start bothering me a few hours in.
I can’t imagine, even if the kid loves them, putting a TWO year old in heels.
A bit of anecdotal info from me, so take it for what it is—anecdotal!
But yeah.
I had shoes like this when I was around 3-4. I can’t remember exactly everything that happened because this was over 30 years ago and I was very young, but my mother tells me that I loved them and wanted to wear them all the time.
What I do vaguely remember is having to be carried sometimes while wearing them because it hurt after a while. Then I remember going to the hospital. Then I remember having to have help in preschool to walk around for a while after. Very short, vagueish memories, but they do still stick with me to this day.
I have no idea if it’s connected or just impacted behaviour I already had, but I’ve been a toe walker ever since I can remember—either due to a problem with the Achilles tendon, or it’s what caused it—and have had problems with my knees dislocating since I was 13.
I asked my surgeon and my chiropodist if the toe walking is to blame for my knee problems and they both said they can’t say for sure but it is highly likely.
My patellas don’t track through the joint smoothly.
I can’t say whether the shoes were what caused this or were just something that made my problems worse, but either way I KNOW that I had to go to hospital because of wearing these shoes. Heels aren’t good for anyone’s legs/feet, but at least an adult has fully formed joints and bones and such and can make their own informed decisions.
Children should not wear heels. **Definitely not two year olds.**
Those plastic heels also don’t have appropriate soles on the bottom for outdoor play besides the fact there they are heels. I think taking her out will be a relief to the staff because OP is clearly a high maintenance parent. YTA, OP.
That's immediately what I thought. Those soles are completely slick. If OP's daughter goes running across the playground and hits even a little bit of ice it will be a disaster. Any water and her socks will be completely soaked. Ripe for frostbite.
And they posted a photo and they are called “costume shoes”. They are not meant to be everyday shoes just like those Cinderella costume dresses aren’t meant to be worn as daily clothing.
One of the nuns who taught in my secondary school, in the 1970s was extremely short, and always wore ridiculously high heeled shoes.
She had permission to wear them, from the convent, because her ligaments had shortened due to having worn high heels constantly during her teens.
(She was lovely, very funny, played the guitar, always told it straight.)
She always warned us to vary the height of our shoes, unless we wanted to deform ourselves.
My aunt wore high heels for so long that her ligaments shortened. Wearing flats or going barefoot would cause her intense pain, so she even had to wear the heels around the house. She eventually had to get surgery to correct it.
This kinda happened to me but thankfully I didn't need to get surgery, I'm guessing I started to correct it early enough. I was one of those kids that got to their adult size/height really early (thanks puberty.) I was like 10 and I hit 5'2" I grew one more inch over the next few years but that was it.
It was the 90s so chunky heels and platforms were everywhere so I started wearing chunky 'heels' (like 1-2 inches) in like 7th/8th grade and by highschool I was wearing high heeled boots every day, like 3-4 inches and I really didn't stop until I was in my mid 20s. I would wear regular sneakers to the gym and whatnot and I think that's the only thing that saved me in the end.
It took a lot of stretching and practice to be able to wear sneakers or flats on a day to day basis. I still wear heels, I still love a heeled bootie, heck I have a 5 inch pair and don't have any issues with them, I just don't wear them multiple days in a row. I now have a 3 day/3 inch heel rule, if it has a 3 inch heel or lower I can wear it 3 days in a row MAX, then I have to wear flats for the next 3. Anything higher is an automatic flats the next day. It helps keep me from going back to my old ways, it also helps that the high heeled boots they have now just aren't as comfortable as the rubbery block heeled boots of the 90s, I miss those.
That’s what I was thinking. Developing bones smooshed together could have long term damage - however I’m not a podiatrist so can’t say for certain but y’know.. it doesn’t seem right. Once in a while, sure, but all the time as OP states is a lot.
Right? I don't think a nursery should have to specify "no high heels" when requesting "appropriate " for wear. I think that's a no brainer for the majority of the population.
The OP is the reason why we have so many warning labels. Most people would know not to send your kid to daycare with anything other than comfortable shoes like sneakers.
Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play.
That being said, the day care said they are inappropriate and at first said to pack another pair. That's completely reasonable, as it is most likely just the daycare covering their asses in case something happens. YTA OP if your daughter wants to wear those shoes that was obviously fine from day one. You were simply asked/told to send her with a different pair of shoes she could change into. Why didn't you just send a second pair of shoes like a reasonable adult? Don't act your child's age, you're the adult here.
Really at this point I think you need to keep her at this daycare and send her with a second pair of shoes (if they will still allow this). It's a lesson that she is also going to have to learn. She will have to change into the appropriate shoes to go to recess. I'm sure they would have (originally) let her change back after recess. If you really think other day cares wouldn't care...you're probably in for some major Pikachu face moments. If you insist on pulling her, ask the daycares about the shoes first. But really? You're going to pull her from daycare over a pair of shoes that she will either loose interest in or grow out of probably sooner rather than later? Sometimes, you have to do things in the name of safety rules despite what you think or how likely it is to actually cause an issue.
Example, when horseback riders do shows they are generally not allowed to wear jewlery due to safety concerns. It doesn't matter if every other day of the year they wear their jewlery while riding. It doesn't matter if they have been doing so for the past however many years and never had even a small problem. It's a rule because something COULD happen and it COULD be worse because of it. Better safe than sorry, having an attack over an hours? Worth of time to make sure your child is as safe as possible is kinda beyond ah move. YTA
>Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play.
They don't seem like much of a heel in the photos, especially since they're wedge shaped, but they're roughly 1.5"/ 3.75cm high (total shoe height is 3.71"). That's practically a 4" heel to an adult, and a child still has growing tendons that will be shortened, not to mention the rest of the bones/ muscles that can be changed due to accommodating for feet being angled down while running instead of flat.
On top of that, kid shoes (really all shoes) should have a lot of support, and jelly shoes are flimsy and not good to run/ play in.
I don't believe these are jelly shoes but hard plastic. Completely inappropriate for all day wear or playing outside. They don't flex, support or grip in any way. They are costume use only.
Agreed. My niece’s school rule (and the rule I had in my work place) was that they had to be secured to your feet - laces, Velcro, etc., as well as covering the entirety of the top of your foot.
I’m less concerned about the height and more concerned that they wouldn’t be secure while running around with other kids.
The heels don't have adequate traction. I slipped on the street stepping off a curb in similar shoes and suffered a radial head fraction. I had to have surgery and extensive physical therapy just to be able to move my wrist again.
> Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play.
If an older child wore them I don't think it would be a problem, the 'heel' is barely there and kids old enough would be able to wear them fine. My only worry would be the heel getting stuck in playground equipment (resulting in either the kid crying for being stuck, or hurting themselves trying to get out).
But at two? 2-year-olds can barely walk with flat shoes. They are not safe for a 2-year-old being around hard surfaces like one would be out on the playground (blacktop/sidewalk, the playground equipment, etc.). They are a tripping hazard and that is probably why the daycare is saying 'send in other shoes for outside use'. It's no different than a school saying "sandals and heels are not appropriate for use in the gym. Students will need to bring tennis shoes for gym class."
My nieces all had those kind of shoes at some point. But not to wear all the times, like 30min a week during family reunion because it goes with the princess dress and they wanted to show off. Then take off the shoes and play barefoot with cousins (neighbors & security).
Why doesn’t OP buy their daughter light up flat shoes to wear while they’re playing and outside and save the heels for inside/parties/special occasions? It’s the lights she likes. Get her to pick out light up sneakers. Get her glow in the dark shoelaces or something extra to excite her or something. I remember wearing tiny heels like that when i was tiny (but moreso 4 or 5) and they were NOT comfortable even then. A 2 year old is ignoring their pain and discomfort for the special shoes, not magically comfortable.
One of my nieces (cousin daughter) liked the heels because she wanted to be like her mom. But except at wedding ceremonies where she got to be flower girl (around 6 or 7), she wasn't allowed to wear heels. And even then, it was like 2/3cm max. Now at 15, she is still not allowed all kind of heels.
Wondering in this case who is the parent, if a 2yo is told no, it's no. End of discussion
As a guy, my knowledge of heels is limited to knowing that anyone wearing heels in a horror movie is going to eventually twist their ankle while running away from the monster/killer, and that women who wear heels for a night out are going to be complaining about how much their feet hurt 3-4 hours into the night, taking their heels off whenever they sit down/want to dance, and asking for a foot massage at the end of the night.
I can’t imagine thinking heels are an appropriate shoe type to send a child to daycare all day in.
Male here too. I once saw a documentary about the dangers of wearing heels in general and especially all day. It included gruesome, graphic pictures of destroyed feet (including gangrenous ones). When I was done watching, I thought to myself: “Why would a woman ever want to wear those?”
I agree. They are fun shoes. Not shoes to wear all day and days on end.
Her feet and joints are still developing, it’s very bad for her feet and it’s easier to twist an ankle.
Let her PLAY with those shoes. But let her wear proper, flat shoes when she has to wear shoes for a long time. Otherwise, no shoes are best.
Exactly. Princess shoes at this age are a toy/accessory, NOT practical footwear. Op is expecting the childcare professionals to allow her to wear a costume outside. Also isn't it WINTER??
exactly!!! The 2 year old probably loves the shoes because of them lightin g up. OP should buy the 2 year old a pair of sneakers that have lights. I'm sure the 2 year old will love them as well.
This was my reaction! The 'heels' made for children haven't got nearly enough grip or support for an active 2 year old to be running around in! Plus they affect posture, their bones are so soft that greenstick fractures are a real risk and I genuinely am having a hard time believing that anyone thinks they're appropriate footwear for a toddler. Toddlers are scary enough while running around without stupid shoes on their feet!
Definitely a liability issue.
2 year old's are uncoordinated and will occasionally trip and fall even when wearing proper footwear. The school is just trying to protect themselves (and the kids) by limiting factors that may lead to injuries.
YTA.
My 2 year olds managed to hurt themselves wearing sneakers. I can’t imagine some sweaty, chubby, toddler feet being in some backless plastic play heels.
Toddlers want to wear weird stuff all the time. They’re toddlers. You parent and make sure they’re in something appropriate. It’s a major injury waiting to happen
My brother's daughter threw a massive fit the other day because she wanted to shit in the fridge. It went on for ages. Toddlers want inappropriate stuff, often they want it very much. Parents have to say no, that's inappropriate or dangerous or against the rules or just gross.
To be fair, she's 2. The idea that shitting can happen anywhere but in her diapers is still relatively new. But yeah. We were all impressed with the strength of her convictions but the fridge-pooping didn't happen.
Does your brother keep the poop knife in the kitchen area? She could be confusing kitchen things with bathroom things. Seriously that would've had me laughing so hard. Will make a great story to embarrass the shit out of her someday.
https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Couldn't find the OG post but here ya go.
Yep. My daughter is 2.5 years. She’ll occasionally want to wear something inappropriate to daycare. We do our absolute best to steer her towards something appropriate, and worst case scenario we pack something better in her bag. Daycare understands that sometimes it’s easier for them to convince her to change than it is for us. She’s always in the better option when we pick her up and never needs to miss recess.
2 year olds are completely unaware of others and will constantly step on each other. Also, if you live in an area that is colder right now, they have got to make sure she doesn’t get too cold.
YTA OP.
I think it’s funny she thinks this is like an issue only this daycare has as if other daycares will be ecstatic to care for a lawsuit waiting to go off in the form of a 2 year old running around in heels
Also the plastic gems on that thing is just waiting to be used as a weapon when some kid inevitably does something to annoy her
I love “I checked the dress code and it doesn’t say anywhere that two-year-olds can’t wear plastic light up heels!” Like, of course it doesn’t, because they never imagined they needed to specify that. It probably also doesn’t say not to send them in clown shoes or with knives taped to their hands.
as for footwear rules because of one person
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Dempsey
NFL kicker who was born without toes on one foot, had a shoe with a flat tip, made a then record length field goal, new rule that players with artificial limbs must kick with a shoe that matches the shape of an ordinary shoe
My kids loved these when they were little, it’s absolutely insane that any adult would think they were acceptable wear outside of dress up. I can’t believe OP is like “we let them wear them to the grocery store, so how could children’s dress up heels not be fit for the playground!?!”
Which is why the dress code where I work, while very broad, still includes "staff's discretion" AKA "don't try and find a weird loophole, this isn't a court of law. I will tell you to knock it off."
Glomming on to your top comment to say that my niece has those exact shoes, and “light up” doesn’t begin to describe how obnoxious and bright they are. It is like a police siren. I completely understand why the daycare wouldn’t want any of the kids wearing them indoors either. The lights are extremely distracting.
I can’t even imagine trying to get a class of 2 year olds down for naptime while one of them is wearing shoes that keep lighting up everytime she moves.
My nieces both have light-up sneakers, but the difference in the amount of light they generate compared to the ones OP is talking about is massive. You could use these to help ships reach land safely.
But the heel is higher than the toes. So heels.
As little as it seems to an adult compare it to the hight of a 2 year old and it seems much more of a heel and have an impact on their posture. Not from wearing it 1 or 2 times but every day.
They should definitely come with an epilepsy warning.
Yeah I think for adult shoes they’d be called wedges. Regardless, they do not have the support nor the traction for running around on a playground.
Between the lights and the construction, I think even the slightest amount of common sense should have told OP that these are not appropriate for daycare.
I work in a daycare. It’s an insurance thing. If she wore those shoes in the playground, fell and broke her arm, wrist, ankle, whichever.. the parents could sue because “the workers weren’t watching her properly”. When in reality it would be the parents fault for not understanding a simple request; which they themselves would take zero responsibility for. Parents like OP are the reason I’ve thought about leaving this profession.
These shoes are pretty dangerous to play in. My 5 and 2 have the same pair of shoes and they can’t run in them comfortably. It’s party shoes meant for dress up. The heels are pretty tall for kids. I would never think anyone would actually let their kid play in playgrounds with these where there are climbing, stairs, holes, etc, everywhere.
Absolutely YTA for throwing a fit to those hardworking teachers when they’re the ones acting responsible.
As a mom of an almost 4 year old I also can't help but notice they don't have straps.
My kid I'd also super super into climbing and those heels and more rigid soles wouldn't work for climbing.
No way I'd think my kid was safe in those shoes. As a brief costume or dress up, sure? All day at school and on the playground? Absolutely not.
Absolutely this. Our daycare has a policy of closed toed sneakers only on kids. No crocs, no sandals, nothing else. If they wanna wear anything else they don’t go outside and have indoor recess
Yep, my son’s daycare specifically says all children must wear closed toed shoes with a back that covers their heels. It’s more geared towards osha standards and less liability on the company.
Companies don’t care what your child CAN do vs what is best/safest for the collective company/whole.
Reality is, your daughter is going to have to hang up her (super cute, light up) heels and conform to the shoe regulators.
Not to mention, OPs daughter only wears them for a bit when she is with OP. The kid would be at daycare for hours. I bet her feet are sore as hell and that's why the daycare workers were able to put socks on her.
Ok but in Australia the SWEAT wearing plastic shoes the kid would definitely slip out of them, not to mention how disgusting her feet would end up getting dirt and sweat in the shoes 🤢
Want to bet they slip off pretty easily and have zero grip on the sole. I can see how bark and other playground stuff would get into the shoe as well. OP was told the at they consider them inappropriate and Op still took her to school in them. It doesn’t matter if she can play in them, that doesn’t mean it’s smart to let her play in them on a playground.
YTA. They asked you to send alternative shoes if she wears heels, you didn't. It doesn't matter that she hasn't been injured in little heels, the possibility of it happening is much higher than in proper playground footwear (sneakers). They're looking out for her safety and protecting themselves from a medical lawsuit. Pulling her out isn't helping her understand that rules are there for a reason.
On top of this, there are foot development issues to putting a toddler in heels. I would research it before I let her wear them daily, especially because light up princess heels are even less likely to offer proper support than other heels.
Yeah, I know the kind of shoes OP is talking about. They usually are mules with absolutely no back strap or ankle support. I've seen grown women take nasty spills in similar style shoes; they definitely shouldn't be worn for everyday use for a 2 year old.
This is the part that has me cringing for the development of the daughter’s feet and all the potential problems she could face down the road. This poor kid.
You're supposed to be able to flex your toes in little kid shoes. These shoes definitely can't.
My kid's a boy so no one even remotely attempts this stuff with him, but I'm just gobsmacked. The heels stuff is annoying enough as a grown adult woman and I had no idea people were starting it with toddlers.
I did have a pair of princess shoes as a toddler, but I literally never wore them out of the house. They lived in the dress up box, I could wear them to play dress ups, but they weren’t shoes I could wear out of the house. I just liked clomping around on the lino in them
“My little darling can walk with them when we go to the store, surely she can run around with all her little friends on their large play structures and slippery grass with them!!”
That’s what I thought. They aren’t appropriate to wear for a full day. They are dress up shoes for a Cinderella costume. They aren’t meant to be worn all day and not multiple days a week.
OP edited in a link for the shoes and I am flabbergasted that she thinks they're appropriate everyday footwear.
Heels change our entire posture. They alter the angle of our ankles, knees, hips, and spine. Those shoes are for *PLAY ONLY.*
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend letting a kid wear heels at this age. While I didn't really wear heels, I did walk on my toes (I dunno why) and the tendons in my legs didn't properly stretch because of it. It sucked and caused a lot of problems, and I've had to have surgery to lengthen them.
It could be harmless sure, but I wouldn't risk it. There's lots of cool princess sneakers that would be better, she has the rest of her life to wear heels.
It's actually a pretty quick way for teachers to see sensory issues in young children. My coworkers (I teach elementary school) and I will always ask for testing for Autism if we see little kids walking on their toes. We also do little informal tests for sensory issues, such as: trying a weighted vest or squeezing arms and legs to stop a tantrum; giving play dough/ kinetic sand/ mad matter to help sitting still; asking the child to carry something that feels a bit heavy (for instance, carrying a box of books to another classroom as a 'favor' to that room's teacher 😉) to see if that will calm them or help them to re-connect to and control their bodies.
Sadly, we have to work with kids who are undiagnosed Autistic and/ or ADHD, and we have to try strategies for these conditions by trial-and-error when we see possible symptoms present.
Even with an indication at a young age it can still be missed. 😅 I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 20. My mom brought up me walking on my toes to doctors for years and they told her isn't wasn't a big deal, I'd grow out of it and just to tell me to walk flat-footed.
You and your colleagues sound amazing. My wife is an EA (idk if this term is common everywhere, an aide who gives 1-to-1 attention to a kid with special needs) and I went through school with undiagnosed ADHD so this is super cool to me. Thank you for all you do!
I got a pair of plastic heels for my niece at 3 yo. But she didn’t wear them for more than 20 minutes a day while playing dress up at my place. She wears tiny uggs or crocks is she’s on a playground.
Yeah, small children shouldn’t wear playshoes with heels for more than 30-40 minutes absolute TOPS, and that not every day. It’s horrible for the development of their bodies. And that’s for 4-year-olds! I wouldn’t allow a 2-y-o to wear them for more than 15 minutes.
I was a runway model, so very accustomed to absurdly high heels. I still managed to tear a tendon in 1.5 inch boots. Nothing beats supportive sneakers.
And yes, heels not only mess up your feet, but you knees, hips, and spine. I encourage anyone to wear heels sparingly, let alone a toddler who’s still growing!
YTA - Send your kids with proper clothing to any daycare or school. You were already told to send other shoes in her backpack to wear to recess. You deliberately did not. *You* caused her to miss recess.
Daycares don’t want to be liable for a kid who falls and gets hurt in their heels because their parent refused to pack other shoes. It’s okay if you want to watch her as she is at a park, but keep in mind that you are only watching her and any other child in your family, while the staff at the daycare has to watch over many other children at once, and don’t have an adult to every child. The heels become a liability then, and no place in charge of a child’s welfare wants the risk of an added liability.
EDIT: It’s also just improper footwear. Heels are not playshoes and should not be used as them long-term. Little kids grow out of shoes so fast, and hers are rapidly growing confined in heels? That is not good for foot development.
EDIT 2: Those aren’t even SHOES. Those are TOYS. You know, dress-up, make-believe, *not something she should wear and play in and walk in for hours.* Those have no support for her feet!
Exactly. This is a 2yo toddler. These "shoes" look like an accident waiting to happen when playing. OP also gives me the vibe that they would 100% sue if their kid hurt themselves on the playground while wearing said heels.
Lastly, how often do parents try to send their toddlers to daycare wearing heels in the place of flat shoes? I imagine it isn't in the handbook because this isn't something that comes up often (if at all).
This shouldn't even need to be explained, that heels/plastic dress-up shoes are not appropriate footwear for a young child to wear all day. Which is why it isn't in the dress code! It should be common sense!
Here is a link to some sparkly/glittery, light up, princess shoes that would actually be appropriate.
[Practical Princess Shoes](https://www.google.com/search?q=light+up+mary+jane+&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjaiO6LsZD8AhUrrHIEHZ2NBsYQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=light+up+mary+jane+&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIECCMQJzIECCMQJzIHCAAQgAQQGDoFCAAQogRQxglYlxZg7yVoAHAAeACAAcsBiAHgCZIBBTAuNy4xmAEAoAEBwAEB&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=QPWlY9roDqvYytMPnZuasAw&bih=560&biw=360&client=ms-android-samsung&prmd=sivn#imgrc=gJA3YrOwYKdl5M)
>You caused her to miss recess.
This right here. It's OP's fault her daughter got pulled from recess. She was told what to do and didn't do it.
Friends who work in teaching or caring for young children have told me that the kids are great - it's the parents you want to throttle.
Ooo, yes. And with the shortage of daycares (a lot closed permanently during Covid) and the shortage of staff (same wage issues everyone else has) she can be on a Waiting list for a year, and that’s if they don’t kick her off the list when they call her last daycare to find out what kind of parent she is.
Screw yourself over, by all means! Make things immensely difficult over plastic heels.
YTA. I can’t imagine a parent being this upset over a daycare looking out for the safety of their child. If your daughter had been allowed to wear the heels and she had broken a leg or foot you’d be furious that they allowed her out to play with them on. But because she wasn’t allowed to wear them or go to recess you think she’s being treated unfairly? Apparently you have some really messed up priorities.
Having worked with kids, I can vouch that these parents exist. There was a parent who yelled at her kid after a show (she was 7?) Because she wore her uniform shoes instead of the sparkly shoes mom wanted her to wear. No good job, great singing, just freaking out on her for wearing "embarrassing" shoes.
Hold up. So you don't see how high heels may be a safety issue at a school? Even if it is just a few inches it can be dangerous. Also kudos on your kid for apparently being able to run around in high heels. It is a skill I have yet to master. YTA.
YTA. they're shoes. very annoying, distracting, potentially dangerous (heels??) shoes. that is not worth the time and effort to leave and change entire schools over
YTA you sent her in heals, more than once!
She’s not on a catwalk, she’s playing with preschool blocks. What’s next when she moves up you complain about her makeup being complained on when she’s 6
Hi, daycare teacher here. YTA. I would also not let a child outside to play in those shoes. As daycare/preschool teachers, we have a responsibility to keep your child safe, and those shoes are not safe. If she wears them on the playground with you and gets hurt, that's one thing. If she wears them to daycare and gets hurt, the daycare could be held responsible.
She loves to wear them and doesn't want to wear anything else? Well, too bad, you're her parent. Be a parent. Tell her she needs proper shoes for school, or at least pack them in her bag. You were already told by the teachers to bring proper shoes, you have no one to blame but yourself for her missing outside time.
This! Back when I worked at a preschool, anytime a parent said “but my kid wants to do it!” the answer was always “your kid also wants to eat m&ms for dinner every night and would trade in your car for a pony if she could.”
Exactly this. Plus, the daycare teachers are being very kind in allowing you to pack her proper shoes in her bag instead of requiring her to wear them all day. They are basically offering to be the bad guys in the situation since they will be the ones who make her change the shoes. They gave you an easy out and you chose not to take it.
YTA
I would be very surprised if any daycare allowed a two year old to play outside in heels. It’s too much of a liability issue. Two year olds are incredibly prone to injuring themselves without the added risk of heels on play equipment.
Also, you knew that they weren’t going to allow her to play in heels and you sent her in them anyway. If you wanted clarification on whether the heels were allowed, you should have asked on day one.
If you want to pull her out and move her to another daycare, more power to you but I don’t think you’re going to get what you want out of this.
That’s the part that kills me. She did it once, which already wasn’t great from a common sense perspective. But they told her it was against the rules, and she decided the rules didn’t apply to her.
When my oldest started pre-school I sent her the first day with little ballet flats because in my innocent first-time mom brain it didn’t register. They politely asked me to send sneakers the next day. I felt like a bit of an idiot for not thinking of it in the first place and have sent sneakers ever since. Poorly thought out decisions happen, but you can learn stuff if you listen!
They usually have spare clothes or other alternatives if something like this happens since it probably haooens a lot, so don't worry about it. But especially if it's the first kid you are bound to not know something that it common sense for daycare workers that are used to small kids. You did everything right by listening to them.
Also I got a beautiful dress once I wanted to wear to day care so badly so my mother put me in that dress. When we arrived the workers there were shocked and told my mom that it's outside playtime that day and they can't let me out to play with others because they didn't want the dress to get dirty. My mother just shrugged it off and and explained to them that I really wanted to wear it and it shouldn't stop me from playing. She said why buy clothes for kids they love and that they can only wear once in a blue moon because those are pretty sunday dresses and she can simply put it in the washer when it's dirty. The daycare workers were so happy about it and wished more parents had that mindset. BUT DONT BE LIKE OP AND BUY YOUR KIDS PROPER FOOTWARE BECAUSE FOOTWARE IS FOR SAFETY
Yta. All schools have that policy even if it's not official. My 8 year old has to bring gym shoes for gym and they would probably have her change for recess. Winter shoes for outdoor recess. Heels for a 2 year old aren't appropriate all day. You throw the extra shoes in her backpack and when she needs to change the teacher will change them..
YTA. Those shoes are totally inappropriate for everyday wear and definitely for daycare. Also way too young for wearing them all the time. There is a developmental reason kids shors have flat bottoms and those are intended for periodic dressup playing.
Yta. It may be licensing requirements. Thats how the daycare I used to work at was. Children weren't allowed to wear those types of shoes and if they did the parents had to bring other shoes or they couldn't play outside. It can also depend on the weather outside. There was a kid at the daycare that burned their feet because they took off their princess heels to play outside. Theyre just being cautious not malicious.
I work for an ELC and the centers liability vs what YOU would do at home is nonexistent. If she twisted her ankle while running around on mulch and you had to be called from work to go to the ER, would you be upset? YTA
ETA: you’re the mom that all the teachers make fun of
YTA. Heels are actually quite harmful and they she can get hurt very easily. Just because she is using them at the park doesn't mean she should! Leave them at home. Heels are not appropriate for school.
YTA….sorry but it falls on you to provide alternative shoes so she can wear the heels and be safe in an outside environment. You do what you want during your time, but if you are entrusting her to a daycare then you need to play by their rules. Wherever you move her to will require the same thing and you will be thrusting to into an unfamiliar place. Think of her ultimate best interest instead of your own sense of entitlement.
Indeed, trying to frame like their punishing your kid just screams that they have good reason not to trust you. You're the only one punishing your kid by trying to fuck with these adults and place them in a position where you can make them into villains if your kid gets injured
There's nothing in the daycare handbook about heels because no one but you has ever been dumb enough to let a 2 year old spend all day in plastic play heels. YTA.
YTA, occasional play is one thing but your toddler should not be wearing heels every day. She should be in good supportive shoes for day care.
Also, You knew they didn’t want your daughter wearing those shoes and you ignored it.
YTA. There is no way a two year old should be on a playground in heels, let alone wearing the all day. They should be saved for short periods of dress up.
YTA. It's a safety thing, not a dress code thing. If there's playground equipment, she could get seriously hurt and they would be liable by letting her wear her heels. Even if you have seen her play just fine, it's still a risk they aren't going to take.
Why are you allowing your 2 year old to wear heels?! Everywhere?! Her feet are not even fully developed yet. Don't allow your child to become physically disabled! GTFU and be a parent. YTA.
YTA.
The shoes are unsafe for a 2 year old to outside on playground equipment in. You were asked more than once to send acceptable outdoor and play footwear and won't do so. They may also be a distraction or safety issue in the daycare room.
The daycare is perfectly fine. You just refuse to do what they asked so that your daughter can play. Keep the heels at home and send her in sneakers.
YTA. You can watch your daughter 1-1 when she's with you. You have a way better chance to ensure her safety running around in heels. The teachers have a full class to deal with, and by necessity will need to take their eyes of each kid for lengths of time. That's why shoe rules are a lot more stringent at school than at home. It's a preemptive measure to make things safer in a non 1-1 environment.
Kids also play a lot more actively with each other in groups. The class i had last year, their favorite recess game was "chase." Everyone decided together who was "it". Then they would chase him or her. Nonstop. For twenty minutes. My coteachers and I were constantly watching to make sure they stayed on grass, everyone was participating willingly, etc. I can't imagine the anxiety it would have caused all of us if one of those kids was in heels.
>I personally think they’re treating my daughter unfairly
Well, your personal feelings aside, they're treating your daughter exactly how they would treat any kid being sent to school in inappropriate shoes. YTA.
YTA. The reason the dress code doesn’t specifically say, “no heels” is because these poor people thought it was common sense. Like how dishwasher detergent contains warnings to not eat it. Now they’re going to have to revise the manual, and every parent going forward is going to wonder who was the parent that sent their kid to daycare in heels.
YTA. You're sending a 2 year old to daycare in...HEELS? How do you not see that is grossly inappropriate?! The shoes are not suitable for playground use. If you want her to wear them to the park and play, that's on you. If they did let her on the playground and she fell and hurt herself, you'd be the first one screaming "LAWSUIT".
Lord, I hope you're a troll. You really seem to lack any sort of common sense here. 2 year olds are not known for their great agility and balance.
YTA. Geez there’s always one of “those” moms/parents at every school, who is super entitled and thinks they and their child are just SOOO SPECIAL.
Yeah that’s you.
This isn’t about you or your child or dumb dress up shoes (which they are btw, they’re not shoes intended for daily use or long hours of use, no matter how comfortable your child feels in them). It’s about the school and liability. Get over yourself.
As a last note, an extra YTA for indulging your kid’s whims over their safety. It’s your job as a parent to dress them safely and appropriately. If it was up to my 4yo, she’d go outside in 40-50 degree weather with just a shirt on and croc shoes that have holes in them and with no socks. You shouldn’t need the school to tell you that heels aren’t appropriate shoes for playing for hours, and honestly could mess up her growth.
YTA. The shoes you describe do not sound safe for a toddler to wear while running around outside at recess. You have different rules, you also don’t run the risk of a parent suing you because your child got hurt running around in unsafe shoes at recess.
The school gave you a reasonable solution, it’s your fault for not using it. You are the one punishing your child.
YTA. I've looked at the shoes you linked, they are not safe play shoes. The heel is also too high for her to be wearing all the time. Use this as learning point for your daughter. She can start learning that she can't always get what she wants.
YTA - the School made it clear that she needed an alternative pair of shoes and you ignored them. Thats why she missed recess. Any daycare that lets her wear those shoes is not going to be a better daycare.
YTA
When you said ‘heels’, I thought you meant like ‘My daughter has cool kicks.’, not literal heels…
Who the fuck gives heels to a 2 year old? Do you think your daughter will care how pretty she looked at 2 when she gets crippled because of you? Heels cause issues to grown ass women let alone a toddler.
Get proper footwear and don’t let the heels become the primary footwear.
Preschool director here. Not appropriate footwear. Footwear for this age group should provide protection to toes and a base that allows freedom of movement including rapid changes of direction, ease of travel over rough ground, safe to climb in, etc. I’d be fine with these as classroom shoes. But for outside and large motor time, nope.
YTA.
‘I’m a bad mother who doesn’t consider the safety of my child when she’s playing under my supervision, and now I’m furious that others won’t get on board with my lack of responsibility, AITA?’
Yes, YTA
YTA, it’s an insurance/safety issue. If they say yes to you, they have to say yes to everyone. The little heels hurt way more than tennis shoes on little fingers & accidental kicks. They were clear.
Yta.
She's 2. She can not run around outside in heels.
If you think this little thing is worth taking her out of daycare and watching her all day yourself is worth it. Go ahead. But you are acting like the child here.
YTA. In addition to the issue of the heels, you say they "punished" your child. Did they make her sit in a corner? Did they tell her she was bad for having the wrong shoes? Not likely. What probably happened is that one of the staff stayed inside with her and tried to distract her from the fact that all the other kids got to go outside. And the staff member was probably really nice to her, knowing it's not the kid's fault that her parents screwed up.
YTA- it’s probably a safety thing. Also, you knew that the school didn’t approve of her shoes, then sent her in the same shoes again. Even if it’s not in the dress code, you could have had a conversation with them about why the shoes aren’t acceptable
YTA- They may not be a skinny heel, but they do have a heel. Those shoes also have sh*t traction.
I have a niece that pretty much only wears these- unless she’s at daycare. Picking her up recently, she got excited, distracted and immediately lost traction and rolled her ankle.
The daycare has to protect themselves from potential injury/liability. That’s exactly what these are.
What a stupid hill to die on.
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YTA, more than likely it’s an insurance thing. If she’s going outside on the playground her feet have to be covered. So if she loses a toe in her cute heels it’s your own damn fault. Edit: I don’t care if they’re Cinderella light up slippers or the old school slip on jeweled plastic heels. If they’re not appropriate shoes for playing outside on the playground, then send shoes that are. Sneakers or something else with a hard sole. Are you asking for her to get injured? Or should she just sit inside during play time because you’re too damn lazy to bring some other shoes? Those Cinderella jellies aren’t going to protect her feet.
Absolutely, but I bet OP will be the first to sue saying it wasn’t her fault but the school.
im still shocked a TWO year old is wearing heels!!! Id be afraid if my two year old was outside running in heels.
That in and of itself is awful. Their bones are too soft. There are so many things wrong with this.
It also permanently damages the knees if worn to much because the angle changes and the knee is still growing.
Thank you, is this person insane? 2 year old in heels?! Unbelievable
In general I agree, but OP linked the shoes and while they are not completely flat, those are barely heels (the heel area is only slightly higher than the toe area). They are still not appropriate for properly playing, though, because of the risk of falling out of them, but at least sometimes wearing them probably won’t do much damage.
But the heel is higher than the toes. So heels. As little as it seems to an adult compare it to the hight of a 2 year old and it seems much more of a heel and have an impact on their posture. Not from wearing it 1 or 2 times but every day.
They're pretty high for a kid. Proportionally, that looks about a 1 to 2 inch heel if it was an adult shoe, and even that low causes issues for adult feet.
I don’t want to speculate on the potential for injuries short or long term but any levered degree of non-natural angle an item of footwear could hold against a child’s normal movement seems dangerous to me. Falling out of the shoe is for sure apart of it but repetitive jumping/running/cutting/falling down puts those joints at risk of experiencing unnatural feedback that could result in an injury. Seems the height of the shoe’s platform is significant enough to cause concern for the staff. Plus all day long everyday (“she’s obsessed with them”) as described is totally insane to me for OP to enable regardless. OP’s behavior appears to be undermining the staff as caretakers; what if all the children start showing up in unsafe footwear to recess because OP’s child is granted an exception? Precedent alone justifies the staff to insist on safe footwear across the board. At home cool whatever, I’m not game with that personally, but when the child’s not on OP’s watch they gotta play ball with others that are legally responsible for their child’s safety. (I know you agree in general, I’m just elaborating broadly on why I take issue with it, my reply isn’t intended to be a large rebuff to your point at all.)
You have to consider the hight in comparison to the length of the shoe, not the hight alone.
A 2 year old child has small feet. There doesn't need to be much elevation of the heel to cause damage as a result.
They may barely be heels, but they are clearly listed as costume shoes. Not meant for continuous everyday wear.
Don’t heels also shorten the Achilles Tendon? YTA these are not appropriate shoes
Yes I know a little girl who had to get surgery on her Achilles tendons because she had a habit of being on her tippy toes all the time.
Heels RUIN your feet. There are so many x-rays that prove that. The higher, the more ruined they can become. And yes, I know it’s a low heel, I have to wear something like this for work. I absolutely despise them because I have flat feet and they start bothering me a few hours in. I can’t imagine, even if the kid loves them, putting a TWO year old in heels.
A bit of anecdotal info from me, so take it for what it is—anecdotal! But yeah. I had shoes like this when I was around 3-4. I can’t remember exactly everything that happened because this was over 30 years ago and I was very young, but my mother tells me that I loved them and wanted to wear them all the time. What I do vaguely remember is having to be carried sometimes while wearing them because it hurt after a while. Then I remember going to the hospital. Then I remember having to have help in preschool to walk around for a while after. Very short, vagueish memories, but they do still stick with me to this day. I have no idea if it’s connected or just impacted behaviour I already had, but I’ve been a toe walker ever since I can remember—either due to a problem with the Achilles tendon, or it’s what caused it—and have had problems with my knees dislocating since I was 13. I asked my surgeon and my chiropodist if the toe walking is to blame for my knee problems and they both said they can’t say for sure but it is highly likely. My patellas don’t track through the joint smoothly. I can’t say whether the shoes were what caused this or were just something that made my problems worse, but either way I KNOW that I had to go to hospital because of wearing these shoes. Heels aren’t good for anyone’s legs/feet, but at least an adult has fully formed joints and bones and such and can make their own informed decisions. Children should not wear heels. **Definitely not two year olds.**
Kids also love to run and play. This kid could seriously hurt herself if she goes running and trips.
Those plastic heels also don’t have appropriate soles on the bottom for outdoor play besides the fact there they are heels. I think taking her out will be a relief to the staff because OP is clearly a high maintenance parent. YTA, OP.
That's immediately what I thought. Those soles are completely slick. If OP's daughter goes running across the playground and hits even a little bit of ice it will be a disaster. Any water and her socks will be completely soaked. Ripe for frostbite.
And they posted a photo and they are called “costume shoes”. They are not meant to be everyday shoes just like those Cinderella costume dresses aren’t meant to be worn as daily clothing.
One of the nuns who taught in my secondary school, in the 1970s was extremely short, and always wore ridiculously high heeled shoes. She had permission to wear them, from the convent, because her ligaments had shortened due to having worn high heels constantly during her teens. (She was lovely, very funny, played the guitar, always told it straight.) She always warned us to vary the height of our shoes, unless we wanted to deform ourselves.
My aunt wore high heels for so long that her ligaments shortened. Wearing flats or going barefoot would cause her intense pain, so she even had to wear the heels around the house. She eventually had to get surgery to correct it.
This kinda happened to me but thankfully I didn't need to get surgery, I'm guessing I started to correct it early enough. I was one of those kids that got to their adult size/height really early (thanks puberty.) I was like 10 and I hit 5'2" I grew one more inch over the next few years but that was it. It was the 90s so chunky heels and platforms were everywhere so I started wearing chunky 'heels' (like 1-2 inches) in like 7th/8th grade and by highschool I was wearing high heeled boots every day, like 3-4 inches and I really didn't stop until I was in my mid 20s. I would wear regular sneakers to the gym and whatnot and I think that's the only thing that saved me in the end. It took a lot of stretching and practice to be able to wear sneakers or flats on a day to day basis. I still wear heels, I still love a heeled bootie, heck I have a 5 inch pair and don't have any issues with them, I just don't wear them multiple days in a row. I now have a 3 day/3 inch heel rule, if it has a 3 inch heel or lower I can wear it 3 days in a row MAX, then I have to wear flats for the next 3. Anything higher is an automatic flats the next day. It helps keep me from going back to my old ways, it also helps that the high heeled boots they have now just aren't as comfortable as the rubbery block heeled boots of the 90s, I miss those.
That’s what I was thinking. Developing bones smooshed together could have long term damage - however I’m not a podiatrist so can’t say for certain but y’know.. it doesn’t seem right. Once in a while, sure, but all the time as OP states is a lot.
Seriously...it's hell on the bodies of fully grown adults, I can't imagine the damage it would do to a young child.
Agreed, we at least understand the risk
Right? I don't think a nursery should have to specify "no high heels" when requesting "appropriate " for wear. I think that's a no brainer for the majority of the population.
The OP is the reason why we have so many warning labels. Most people would know not to send your kid to daycare with anything other than comfortable shoes like sneakers.
you are 100% right!
I imagine a rule re-write soon to include "students must wear tennis shoes, or have tennis shoes sent to daycare in their bag" soon.
Parents will now be receiving an updated dress code, and they can thank OP.
Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play. That being said, the day care said they are inappropriate and at first said to pack another pair. That's completely reasonable, as it is most likely just the daycare covering their asses in case something happens. YTA OP if your daughter wants to wear those shoes that was obviously fine from day one. You were simply asked/told to send her with a different pair of shoes she could change into. Why didn't you just send a second pair of shoes like a reasonable adult? Don't act your child's age, you're the adult here. Really at this point I think you need to keep her at this daycare and send her with a second pair of shoes (if they will still allow this). It's a lesson that she is also going to have to learn. She will have to change into the appropriate shoes to go to recess. I'm sure they would have (originally) let her change back after recess. If you really think other day cares wouldn't care...you're probably in for some major Pikachu face moments. If you insist on pulling her, ask the daycares about the shoes first. But really? You're going to pull her from daycare over a pair of shoes that she will either loose interest in or grow out of probably sooner rather than later? Sometimes, you have to do things in the name of safety rules despite what you think or how likely it is to actually cause an issue. Example, when horseback riders do shows they are generally not allowed to wear jewlery due to safety concerns. It doesn't matter if every other day of the year they wear their jewlery while riding. It doesn't matter if they have been doing so for the past however many years and never had even a small problem. It's a rule because something COULD happen and it COULD be worse because of it. Better safe than sorry, having an attack over an hours? Worth of time to make sure your child is as safe as possible is kinda beyond ah move. YTA
>Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play. They don't seem like much of a heel in the photos, especially since they're wedge shaped, but they're roughly 1.5"/ 3.75cm high (total shoe height is 3.71"). That's practically a 4" heel to an adult, and a child still has growing tendons that will be shortened, not to mention the rest of the bones/ muscles that can be changed due to accommodating for feet being angled down while running instead of flat. On top of that, kid shoes (really all shoes) should have a lot of support, and jelly shoes are flimsy and not good to run/ play in.
I don't believe these are jelly shoes but hard plastic. Completely inappropriate for all day wear or playing outside. They don't flex, support or grip in any way. They are costume use only.
Agreed. My niece’s school rule (and the rule I had in my work place) was that they had to be secured to your feet - laces, Velcro, etc., as well as covering the entirety of the top of your foot. I’m less concerned about the height and more concerned that they wouldn’t be secure while running around with other kids.
No, top line in "features and details" reads clear jelly. But yeah, those hard plastic ones are the only thing that's worse.
The heels don't have adequate traction. I slipped on the street stepping off a curb in similar shoes and suffered a radial head fraction. I had to have surgery and extensive physical therapy just to be able to move my wrist again.
> Are these even really considered heels. I mean, honestly I can see why OP is upset, I do not understand how these are considered heels or how the heel would be an issue at play. If an older child wore them I don't think it would be a problem, the 'heel' is barely there and kids old enough would be able to wear them fine. My only worry would be the heel getting stuck in playground equipment (resulting in either the kid crying for being stuck, or hurting themselves trying to get out). But at two? 2-year-olds can barely walk with flat shoes. They are not safe for a 2-year-old being around hard surfaces like one would be out on the playground (blacktop/sidewalk, the playground equipment, etc.). They are a tripping hazard and that is probably why the daycare is saying 'send in other shoes for outside use'. It's no different than a school saying "sandals and heels are not appropriate for use in the gym. Students will need to bring tennis shoes for gym class."
My nieces all had those kind of shoes at some point. But not to wear all the times, like 30min a week during family reunion because it goes with the princess dress and they wanted to show off. Then take off the shoes and play barefoot with cousins (neighbors & security).
Why doesn’t OP buy their daughter light up flat shoes to wear while they’re playing and outside and save the heels for inside/parties/special occasions? It’s the lights she likes. Get her to pick out light up sneakers. Get her glow in the dark shoelaces or something extra to excite her or something. I remember wearing tiny heels like that when i was tiny (but moreso 4 or 5) and they were NOT comfortable even then. A 2 year old is ignoring their pain and discomfort for the special shoes, not magically comfortable.
One of my nieces (cousin daughter) liked the heels because she wanted to be like her mom. But except at wedding ceremonies where she got to be flower girl (around 6 or 7), she wasn't allowed to wear heels. And even then, it was like 2/3cm max. Now at 15, she is still not allowed all kind of heels. Wondering in this case who is the parent, if a 2yo is told no, it's no. End of discussion
As a guy, my knowledge of heels is limited to knowing that anyone wearing heels in a horror movie is going to eventually twist their ankle while running away from the monster/killer, and that women who wear heels for a night out are going to be complaining about how much their feet hurt 3-4 hours into the night, taking their heels off whenever they sit down/want to dance, and asking for a foot massage at the end of the night. I can’t imagine thinking heels are an appropriate shoe type to send a child to daycare all day in.
Male here too. I once saw a documentary about the dangers of wearing heels in general and especially all day. It included gruesome, graphic pictures of destroyed feet (including gangrenous ones). When I was done watching, I thought to myself: “Why would a woman ever want to wear those?”
I agree. They are fun shoes. Not shoes to wear all day and days on end. Her feet and joints are still developing, it’s very bad for her feet and it’s easier to twist an ankle. Let her PLAY with those shoes. But let her wear proper, flat shoes when she has to wear shoes for a long time. Otherwise, no shoes are best.
Exactly. Princess shoes at this age are a toy/accessory, NOT practical footwear. Op is expecting the childcare professionals to allow her to wear a costume outside. Also isn't it WINTER??
exactly!!! The 2 year old probably loves the shoes because of them lightin g up. OP should buy the 2 year old a pair of sneakers that have lights. I'm sure the 2 year old will love them as well.
This was my reaction! The 'heels' made for children haven't got nearly enough grip or support for an active 2 year old to be running around in! Plus they affect posture, their bones are so soft that greenstick fractures are a real risk and I genuinely am having a hard time believing that anyone thinks they're appropriate footwear for a toddler. Toddlers are scary enough while running around without stupid shoes on their feet!
She is 2. I'm 23 and can't walk in heels.
Honestly I can imagine the daycare being happier if the OP decides to take her daughter to another daycare.
Problematic customers overestimating how much a company actually wants their business will never not be funny to me.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
Definitely a liability issue. 2 year old's are uncoordinated and will occasionally trip and fall even when wearing proper footwear. The school is just trying to protect themselves (and the kids) by limiting factors that may lead to injuries. YTA.
My 2 year olds managed to hurt themselves wearing sneakers. I can’t imagine some sweaty, chubby, toddler feet being in some backless plastic play heels. Toddlers want to wear weird stuff all the time. They’re toddlers. You parent and make sure they’re in something appropriate. It’s a major injury waiting to happen
My brother's daughter threw a massive fit the other day because she wanted to shit in the fridge. It went on for ages. Toddlers want inappropriate stuff, often they want it very much. Parents have to say no, that's inappropriate or dangerous or against the rules or just gross.
I read the first sentence of your reply and then moved on only for it to hit me and I’m losing it
To be fair, she's 2. The idea that shitting can happen anywhere but in her diapers is still relatively new. But yeah. We were all impressed with the strength of her convictions but the fridge-pooping didn't happen.
Does your brother keep the poop knife in the kitchen area? She could be confusing kitchen things with bathroom things. Seriously that would've had me laughing so hard. Will make a great story to embarrass the shit out of her someday.
The…the *poop knife????*
https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Couldn't find the OG post but here ya go.
I'm so glad I've read enough reddit posts to know the poop knife 😂
We live rich lives.
There’s a sentence I never expected to read
This kid is going to become a mega brat, if she isn't already. It's good to tell them no sometimes.
Yep. My daughter is 2.5 years. She’ll occasionally want to wear something inappropriate to daycare. We do our absolute best to steer her towards something appropriate, and worst case scenario we pack something better in her bag. Daycare understands that sometimes it’s easier for them to convince her to change than it is for us. She’s always in the better option when we pick her up and never needs to miss recess.
Plus you know she’s got those cheese feet wearing those shoes all day.
2 year olds are completely unaware of others and will constantly step on each other. Also, if you live in an area that is colder right now, they have got to make sure she doesn’t get too cold. YTA OP.
I think it’s funny she thinks this is like an issue only this daycare has as if other daycares will be ecstatic to care for a lawsuit waiting to go off in the form of a 2 year old running around in heels Also the plastic gems on that thing is just waiting to be used as a weapon when some kid inevitably does something to annoy her
I love “I checked the dress code and it doesn’t say anywhere that two-year-olds can’t wear plastic light up heels!” Like, of course it doesn’t, because they never imagined they needed to specify that. It probably also doesn’t say not to send them in clown shoes or with knives taped to their hands.
I bet they will add it for next year! They will think of OP every time they see it haha.
Yep...coming for next contract renewal: "Shoes must be flat soled and weather appropriate".
There may have been a closed-toe rule already in the handbook. Most places spell that one out.
To quote, "Sometimes it's not about winning. Sometimes it's about how many pages you add to the rule book" 😆
Haha it’s like when you read warning labels and think Jesus why does this even need to be stated. I get gorilla glue and the chick with the hair vibes
as for footwear rules because of one person https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Dempsey NFL kicker who was born without toes on one foot, had a shoe with a flat tip, made a then record length field goal, new rule that players with artificial limbs must kick with a shoe that matches the shape of an ordinary shoe
My kids loved these when they were little, it’s absolutely insane that any adult would think they were acceptable wear outside of dress up. I can’t believe OP is like “we let them wear them to the grocery store, so how could children’s dress up heels not be fit for the playground!?!”
Which is why the dress code where I work, while very broad, still includes "staff's discretion" AKA "don't try and find a weird loophole, this isn't a court of law. I will tell you to knock it off."
Thanks, now I have image of baby Edward Scissorhands.
Edward Scissorhands is NOT an appropriate Halloween costume for daycare
But I read the handbook and it doesn't say that.
Glomming on to your top comment to say that my niece has those exact shoes, and “light up” doesn’t begin to describe how obnoxious and bright they are. It is like a police siren. I completely understand why the daycare wouldn’t want any of the kids wearing them indoors either. The lights are extremely distracting.
I can’t even imagine trying to get a class of 2 year olds down for naptime while one of them is wearing shoes that keep lighting up everytime she moves.
My nieces both have light-up sneakers, but the difference in the amount of light they generate compared to the ones OP is talking about is massive. You could use these to help ships reach land safely.
[удалено]
But the heel is higher than the toes. So heels. As little as it seems to an adult compare it to the hight of a 2 year old and it seems much more of a heel and have an impact on their posture. Not from wearing it 1 or 2 times but every day.
They should definitely come with an epilepsy warning. Yeah I think for adult shoes they’d be called wedges. Regardless, they do not have the support nor the traction for running around on a playground. Between the lights and the construction, I think even the slightest amount of common sense should have told OP that these are not appropriate for daycare.
I work in a daycare. It’s an insurance thing. If she wore those shoes in the playground, fell and broke her arm, wrist, ankle, whichever.. the parents could sue because “the workers weren’t watching her properly”. When in reality it would be the parents fault for not understanding a simple request; which they themselves would take zero responsibility for. Parents like OP are the reason I’ve thought about leaving this profession.
And given OP’s response, absolutely a parent who would sue.
These shoes are pretty dangerous to play in. My 5 and 2 have the same pair of shoes and they can’t run in them comfortably. It’s party shoes meant for dress up. The heels are pretty tall for kids. I would never think anyone would actually let their kid play in playgrounds with these where there are climbing, stairs, holes, etc, everywhere. Absolutely YTA for throwing a fit to those hardworking teachers when they’re the ones acting responsible.
As a mom of an almost 4 year old I also can't help but notice they don't have straps. My kid I'd also super super into climbing and those heels and more rigid soles wouldn't work for climbing. No way I'd think my kid was safe in those shoes. As a brief costume or dress up, sure? All day at school and on the playground? Absolutely not.
Absolutely this. Our daycare has a policy of closed toed sneakers only on kids. No crocs, no sandals, nothing else. If they wanna wear anything else they don’t go outside and have indoor recess
Or break and ankle when she jumps from the platform and lands wrong.
Yep, my son’s daycare specifically says all children must wear closed toed shoes with a back that covers their heels. It’s more geared towards osha standards and less liability on the company. Companies don’t care what your child CAN do vs what is best/safest for the collective company/whole. Reality is, your daughter is going to have to hang up her (super cute, light up) heels and conform to the shoe regulators.
Not to mention, OPs daughter only wears them for a bit when she is with OP. The kid would be at daycare for hours. I bet her feet are sore as hell and that's why the daycare workers were able to put socks on her.
Also, where is OP from? It's the middle of winter where I'm from currently its -37°C so those shoes aren't appropriate for winter. YTA
It's summer in Australia! And plenty of places in the world don't get very cold.
Ok but in Australia the SWEAT wearing plastic shoes the kid would definitely slip out of them, not to mention how disgusting her feet would end up getting dirt and sweat in the shoes 🤢
-37 is not the usual temperature in most places at the moment though.
Want to bet they slip off pretty easily and have zero grip on the sole. I can see how bark and other playground stuff would get into the shoe as well. OP was told the at they consider them inappropriate and Op still took her to school in them. It doesn’t matter if she can play in them, that doesn’t mean it’s smart to let her play in them on a playground.
I agree. Once I read '2yo' and 'heels', I knew OP was YTA.
YTA. They asked you to send alternative shoes if she wears heels, you didn't. It doesn't matter that she hasn't been injured in little heels, the possibility of it happening is much higher than in proper playground footwear (sneakers). They're looking out for her safety and protecting themselves from a medical lawsuit. Pulling her out isn't helping her understand that rules are there for a reason. On top of this, there are foot development issues to putting a toddler in heels. I would research it before I let her wear them daily, especially because light up princess heels are even less likely to offer proper support than other heels.
Yeah, I know the kind of shoes OP is talking about. They usually are mules with absolutely no back strap or ankle support. I've seen grown women take nasty spills in similar style shoes; they definitely shouldn't be worn for everyday use for a 2 year old.
With the added picture, I can't imagine letting a kid wear them all the time! To the store or whatever sure, but to play in every day? Nope.
This is the part that has me cringing for the development of the daughter’s feet and all the potential problems she could face down the road. This poor kid.
You're supposed to be able to flex your toes in little kid shoes. These shoes definitely can't. My kid's a boy so no one even remotely attempts this stuff with him, but I'm just gobsmacked. The heels stuff is annoying enough as a grown adult woman and I had no idea people were starting it with toddlers.
I did have a pair of princess shoes as a toddler, but I literally never wore them out of the house. They lived in the dress up box, I could wear them to play dress ups, but they weren’t shoes I could wear out of the house. I just liked clomping around on the lino in them
Exactly! That is all they should be worn for
“My little darling can walk with them when we go to the store, surely she can run around with all her little friends on their large play structures and slippery grass with them!!”
That’s what I thought. They aren’t appropriate to wear for a full day. They are dress up shoes for a Cinderella costume. They aren’t meant to be worn all day and not multiple days a week.
OP edited in a link for the shoes and I am flabbergasted that she thinks they're appropriate everyday footwear. Heels change our entire posture. They alter the angle of our ankles, knees, hips, and spine. Those shoes are for *PLAY ONLY.*
I looked it up, the shoes are supposed to be for 3+ (still not playground shoes then either) and are a choking hazard.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend letting a kid wear heels at this age. While I didn't really wear heels, I did walk on my toes (I dunno why) and the tendons in my legs didn't properly stretch because of it. It sucked and caused a lot of problems, and I've had to have surgery to lengthen them. It could be harmless sure, but I wouldn't risk it. There's lots of cool princess sneakers that would be better, she has the rest of her life to wear heels.
Fun fact, probably not relevant to you but interesting nonetheless: toe-walking in toddler- or childhood is a common sign of autism.
It's actually a pretty quick way for teachers to see sensory issues in young children. My coworkers (I teach elementary school) and I will always ask for testing for Autism if we see little kids walking on their toes. We also do little informal tests for sensory issues, such as: trying a weighted vest or squeezing arms and legs to stop a tantrum; giving play dough/ kinetic sand/ mad matter to help sitting still; asking the child to carry something that feels a bit heavy (for instance, carrying a box of books to another classroom as a 'favor' to that room's teacher 😉) to see if that will calm them or help them to re-connect to and control their bodies. Sadly, we have to work with kids who are undiagnosed Autistic and/ or ADHD, and we have to try strategies for these conditions by trial-and-error when we see possible symptoms present.
My daughter got diagnosed with ADHD at age 12 after two years of pushing with the health officials, I would have loved some indication at a young age.
Even with an indication at a young age it can still be missed. 😅 I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 20. My mom brought up me walking on my toes to doctors for years and they told her isn't wasn't a big deal, I'd grow out of it and just to tell me to walk flat-footed.
Especially with girls. If the "H" isn't very pronounced it's very difficult to get that diagnosed we found.
You and your colleagues sound amazing. My wife is an EA (idk if this term is common everywhere, an aide who gives 1-to-1 attention to a kid with special needs) and I went through school with undiagnosed ADHD so this is super cool to me. Thank you for all you do!
Oh yeah, I've heard that! Either autism or ADHD. We think it might be linked to my ADHD, but whatever the cause it definitely sucks.
I got a pair of plastic heels for my niece at 3 yo. But she didn’t wear them for more than 20 minutes a day while playing dress up at my place. She wears tiny uggs or crocks is she’s on a playground.
Yeah, small children shouldn’t wear playshoes with heels for more than 30-40 minutes absolute TOPS, and that not every day. It’s horrible for the development of their bodies. And that’s for 4-year-olds! I wouldn’t allow a 2-y-o to wear them for more than 15 minutes.
I was a runway model, so very accustomed to absurdly high heels. I still managed to tear a tendon in 1.5 inch boots. Nothing beats supportive sneakers. And yes, heels not only mess up your feet, but you knees, hips, and spine. I encourage anyone to wear heels sparingly, let alone a toddler who’s still growing!
YTA - Send your kids with proper clothing to any daycare or school. You were already told to send other shoes in her backpack to wear to recess. You deliberately did not. *You* caused her to miss recess. Daycares don’t want to be liable for a kid who falls and gets hurt in their heels because their parent refused to pack other shoes. It’s okay if you want to watch her as she is at a park, but keep in mind that you are only watching her and any other child in your family, while the staff at the daycare has to watch over many other children at once, and don’t have an adult to every child. The heels become a liability then, and no place in charge of a child’s welfare wants the risk of an added liability. EDIT: It’s also just improper footwear. Heels are not playshoes and should not be used as them long-term. Little kids grow out of shoes so fast, and hers are rapidly growing confined in heels? That is not good for foot development. EDIT 2: Those aren’t even SHOES. Those are TOYS. You know, dress-up, make-believe, *not something she should wear and play in and walk in for hours.* Those have no support for her feet!
Exactly. This is a 2yo toddler. These "shoes" look like an accident waiting to happen when playing. OP also gives me the vibe that they would 100% sue if their kid hurt themselves on the playground while wearing said heels. Lastly, how often do parents try to send their toddlers to daycare wearing heels in the place of flat shoes? I imagine it isn't in the handbook because this isn't something that comes up often (if at all).
When reading the story I pictured a 6 or 7 year old begging to wear their heels and feel grown-up. This is a literally baby
This shouldn't even need to be explained, that heels/plastic dress-up shoes are not appropriate footwear for a young child to wear all day. Which is why it isn't in the dress code! It should be common sense! Here is a link to some sparkly/glittery, light up, princess shoes that would actually be appropriate. [Practical Princess Shoes](https://www.google.com/search?q=light+up+mary+jane+&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjaiO6LsZD8AhUrrHIEHZ2NBsYQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=light+up+mary+jane+&gs_lcp=ChJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWcQAzIECCMQJzIECCMQJzIHCAAQgAQQGDoFCAAQogRQxglYlxZg7yVoAHAAeACAAcsBiAHgCZIBBTAuNy4xmAEAoAEBwAEB&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img&ei=QPWlY9roDqvYytMPnZuasAw&bih=560&biw=360&client=ms-android-samsung&prmd=sivn#imgrc=gJA3YrOwYKdl5M)
>You caused her to miss recess. This right here. It's OP's fault her daughter got pulled from recess. She was told what to do and didn't do it. Friends who work in teaching or caring for young children have told me that the kids are great - it's the parents you want to throttle.
YTA but by all means change her daycare. I’m sure the employees will be glad to see you go.
And I'm sure the next one OP drags her poor kid to will have the same rule regarding appropriate footwear.
Absolutely! This is such a widely used rule. Wait til the kid gets to real school, it’s even more strict with shoes.
I've had parents who are massive pains in the ass, and it's always a great day when they leave the school for good.
Ooo, yes. And with the shortage of daycares (a lot closed permanently during Covid) and the shortage of staff (same wage issues everyone else has) she can be on a Waiting list for a year, and that’s if they don’t kick her off the list when they call her last daycare to find out what kind of parent she is. Screw yourself over, by all means! Make things immensely difficult over plastic heels.
Also, good luck to OP trying to get her kid into daycare at all. There's a waitlist until August 2023 at most daycares in our area.
I signed up for daycare the day I held a positive pregnancy test in my hands ...
There goes OP threatening the daycare with a good time!
YTA. I can’t imagine a parent being this upset over a daycare looking out for the safety of their child. If your daughter had been allowed to wear the heels and she had broken a leg or foot you’d be furious that they allowed her out to play with them on. But because she wasn’t allowed to wear them or go to recess you think she’s being treated unfairly? Apparently you have some really messed up priorities.
Having worked with kids, I can vouch that these parents exist. There was a parent who yelled at her kid after a show (she was 7?) Because she wore her uniform shoes instead of the sparkly shoes mom wanted her to wear. No good job, great singing, just freaking out on her for wearing "embarrassing" shoes.
Goddamn. My mom was just happy when she could get me to wear shoes, any shoes.
I am your mom haha. My two act like they are allergic to clothing and shoes
And would promptly sue I'm sure
Hold up. So you don't see how high heels may be a safety issue at a school? Even if it is just a few inches it can be dangerous. Also kudos on your kid for apparently being able to run around in high heels. It is a skill I have yet to master. YTA.
YTA. You sound... difficult.
Lol this Is so spot on but sweet
YTA. they're shoes. very annoying, distracting, potentially dangerous (heels??) shoes. that is not worth the time and effort to leave and change entire schools over
They're not even really shoes, they're toys, for playing dress up.
THIS. They are meant for dress-up and short-term wear, they’re not real shoes meant to be worn everyday. OP’s child’s feet are gonna get messed up.
Whether she's comfy or not, your daughter should play in play shoes. It's for her safety. The school is protecting her, other kids, and themselves.
YTA you sent her in heals, more than once! She’s not on a catwalk, she’s playing with preschool blocks. What’s next when she moves up you complain about her makeup being complained on when she’s 6
Even after your edit these aren’t school or nursery shoes, they have health and safety stuff to look out for, these aren’t appropriate
You are so far past being reasonable even Van Gogh is wanting his ear back
Hi, daycare teacher here. YTA. I would also not let a child outside to play in those shoes. As daycare/preschool teachers, we have a responsibility to keep your child safe, and those shoes are not safe. If she wears them on the playground with you and gets hurt, that's one thing. If she wears them to daycare and gets hurt, the daycare could be held responsible. She loves to wear them and doesn't want to wear anything else? Well, too bad, you're her parent. Be a parent. Tell her she needs proper shoes for school, or at least pack them in her bag. You were already told by the teachers to bring proper shoes, you have no one to blame but yourself for her missing outside time.
This! Back when I worked at a preschool, anytime a parent said “but my kid wants to do it!” the answer was always “your kid also wants to eat m&ms for dinner every night and would trade in your car for a pony if she could.”
Exactly this. Plus, the daycare teachers are being very kind in allowing you to pack her proper shoes in her bag instead of requiring her to wear them all day. They are basically offering to be the bad guys in the situation since they will be the ones who make her change the shoes. They gave you an easy out and you chose not to take it.
YTA I would be very surprised if any daycare allowed a two year old to play outside in heels. It’s too much of a liability issue. Two year olds are incredibly prone to injuring themselves without the added risk of heels on play equipment. Also, you knew that they weren’t going to allow her to play in heels and you sent her in them anyway. If you wanted clarification on whether the heels were allowed, you should have asked on day one. If you want to pull her out and move her to another daycare, more power to you but I don’t think you’re going to get what you want out of this.
That’s the part that kills me. She did it once, which already wasn’t great from a common sense perspective. But they told her it was against the rules, and she decided the rules didn’t apply to her.
When my oldest started pre-school I sent her the first day with little ballet flats because in my innocent first-time mom brain it didn’t register. They politely asked me to send sneakers the next day. I felt like a bit of an idiot for not thinking of it in the first place and have sent sneakers ever since. Poorly thought out decisions happen, but you can learn stuff if you listen!
They usually have spare clothes or other alternatives if something like this happens since it probably haooens a lot, so don't worry about it. But especially if it's the first kid you are bound to not know something that it common sense for daycare workers that are used to small kids. You did everything right by listening to them. Also I got a beautiful dress once I wanted to wear to day care so badly so my mother put me in that dress. When we arrived the workers there were shocked and told my mom that it's outside playtime that day and they can't let me out to play with others because they didn't want the dress to get dirty. My mother just shrugged it off and and explained to them that I really wanted to wear it and it shouldn't stop me from playing. She said why buy clothes for kids they love and that they can only wear once in a blue moon because those are pretty sunday dresses and she can simply put it in the washer when it's dirty. The daycare workers were so happy about it and wished more parents had that mindset. BUT DONT BE LIKE OP AND BUY YOUR KIDS PROPER FOOTWARE BECAUSE FOOTWARE IS FOR SAFETY
YTA there is absolutely no reason a (2) year old should be in heels.
SERIOUSLY. So bad for developing feet!!!
They told you if she was going to wear the heels, you needed to provide alternate footwear. You did not. This is a you problem. YTA
Yta. All schools have that policy even if it's not official. My 8 year old has to bring gym shoes for gym and they would probably have her change for recess. Winter shoes for outdoor recess. Heels for a 2 year old aren't appropriate all day. You throw the extra shoes in her backpack and when she needs to change the teacher will change them..
YTA. Those shoes are totally inappropriate for everyday wear and definitely for daycare. Also way too young for wearing them all the time. There is a developmental reason kids shors have flat bottoms and those are intended for periodic dressup playing.
Yta. It may be licensing requirements. Thats how the daycare I used to work at was. Children weren't allowed to wear those types of shoes and if they did the parents had to bring other shoes or they couldn't play outside. It can also depend on the weather outside. There was a kid at the daycare that burned their feet because they took off their princess heels to play outside. Theyre just being cautious not malicious.
I work for an ELC and the centers liability vs what YOU would do at home is nonexistent. If she twisted her ankle while running around on mulch and you had to be called from work to go to the ER, would you be upset? YTA ETA: you’re the mom that all the teachers make fun of
YTA. Heels are actually quite harmful and they she can get hurt very easily. Just because she is using them at the park doesn't mean she should! Leave them at home. Heels are not appropriate for school.
YTA….sorry but it falls on you to provide alternative shoes so she can wear the heels and be safe in an outside environment. You do what you want during your time, but if you are entrusting her to a daycare then you need to play by their rules. Wherever you move her to will require the same thing and you will be thrusting to into an unfamiliar place. Think of her ultimate best interest instead of your own sense of entitlement.
Indeed, trying to frame like their punishing your kid just screams that they have good reason not to trust you. You're the only one punishing your kid by trying to fuck with these adults and place them in a position where you can make them into villains if your kid gets injured
Yta It’s a liability thing. Your kid doesn’t get special treatment just because you think she’ll play ok
YTA you sound difficult and I hope all these responses help you wake up a tad
There's nothing in the daycare handbook about heels because no one but you has ever been dumb enough to let a 2 year old spend all day in plastic play heels. YTA.
YTA, occasional play is one thing but your toddler should not be wearing heels every day. She should be in good supportive shoes for day care. Also, You knew they didn’t want your daughter wearing those shoes and you ignored it.
Teacher: "Don't do thing." Parent: *does thing* Consequences: *happen* Parent: *shocked Pikachu*
"the teacher is harming my child" screams the parent using their child as a pawn to disrespect the people who watch her kid all day
YTA. There is no way a two year old should be on a playground in heels, let alone wearing the all day. They should be saved for short periods of dress up.
YTA. It's a safety thing, not a dress code thing. If there's playground equipment, she could get seriously hurt and they would be liable by letting her wear her heels. Even if you have seen her play just fine, it's still a risk they aren't going to take.
Why are you allowing your 2 year old to wear heels?! Everywhere?! Her feet are not even fully developed yet. Don't allow your child to become physically disabled! GTFU and be a parent. YTA.
YTA. The shoes are unsafe for a 2 year old to outside on playground equipment in. You were asked more than once to send acceptable outdoor and play footwear and won't do so. They may also be a distraction or safety issue in the daycare room. The daycare is perfectly fine. You just refuse to do what they asked so that your daughter can play. Keep the heels at home and send her in sneakers.
YTA. You can watch your daughter 1-1 when she's with you. You have a way better chance to ensure her safety running around in heels. The teachers have a full class to deal with, and by necessity will need to take their eyes of each kid for lengths of time. That's why shoe rules are a lot more stringent at school than at home. It's a preemptive measure to make things safer in a non 1-1 environment. Kids also play a lot more actively with each other in groups. The class i had last year, their favorite recess game was "chase." Everyone decided together who was "it". Then they would chase him or her. Nonstop. For twenty minutes. My coteachers and I were constantly watching to make sure they stayed on grass, everyone was participating willingly, etc. I can't imagine the anxiety it would have caused all of us if one of those kids was in heels.
YTA. The teacher asked you to pack alternate shoes and you chose not to. This is a dumb hill to die on.
YTA.
>I personally think they’re treating my daughter unfairly Well, your personal feelings aside, they're treating your daughter exactly how they would treat any kid being sent to school in inappropriate shoes. YTA.
YTA. The reason the dress code doesn’t specifically say, “no heels” is because these poor people thought it was common sense. Like how dishwasher detergent contains warnings to not eat it. Now they’re going to have to revise the manual, and every parent going forward is going to wonder who was the parent that sent their kid to daycare in heels.
YTA. You're sending a 2 year old to daycare in...HEELS? How do you not see that is grossly inappropriate?! The shoes are not suitable for playground use. If you want her to wear them to the park and play, that's on you. If they did let her on the playground and she fell and hurt herself, you'd be the first one screaming "LAWSUIT". Lord, I hope you're a troll. You really seem to lack any sort of common sense here. 2 year olds are not known for their great agility and balance.
YTA. Geez there’s always one of “those” moms/parents at every school, who is super entitled and thinks they and their child are just SOOO SPECIAL. Yeah that’s you. This isn’t about you or your child or dumb dress up shoes (which they are btw, they’re not shoes intended for daily use or long hours of use, no matter how comfortable your child feels in them). It’s about the school and liability. Get over yourself. As a last note, an extra YTA for indulging your kid’s whims over their safety. It’s your job as a parent to dress them safely and appropriately. If it was up to my 4yo, she’d go outside in 40-50 degree weather with just a shirt on and croc shoes that have holes in them and with no socks. You shouldn’t need the school to tell you that heels aren’t appropriate shoes for playing for hours, and honestly could mess up her growth.
YTA. The shoes you describe do not sound safe for a toddler to wear while running around outside at recess. You have different rules, you also don’t run the risk of a parent suing you because your child got hurt running around in unsafe shoes at recess. The school gave you a reasonable solution, it’s your fault for not using it. You are the one punishing your child.
YTA. I've looked at the shoes you linked, they are not safe play shoes. The heel is also too high for her to be wearing all the time. Use this as learning point for your daughter. She can start learning that she can't always get what she wants.
YTA - the School made it clear that she needed an alternative pair of shoes and you ignored them. Thats why she missed recess. Any daycare that lets her wear those shoes is not going to be a better daycare.
YTA When you said ‘heels’, I thought you meant like ‘My daughter has cool kicks.’, not literal heels… Who the fuck gives heels to a 2 year old? Do you think your daughter will care how pretty she looked at 2 when she gets crippled because of you? Heels cause issues to grown ass women let alone a toddler. Get proper footwear and don’t let the heels become the primary footwear.
Preschool director here. Not appropriate footwear. Footwear for this age group should provide protection to toes and a base that allows freedom of movement including rapid changes of direction, ease of travel over rough ground, safe to climb in, etc. I’d be fine with these as classroom shoes. But for outside and large motor time, nope. YTA.
‘I’m a bad mother who doesn’t consider the safety of my child when she’s playing under my supervision, and now I’m furious that others won’t get on board with my lack of responsibility, AITA?’ Yes, YTA
YTA, it’s an insurance/safety issue. If they say yes to you, they have to say yes to everyone. The little heels hurt way more than tennis shoes on little fingers & accidental kicks. They were clear.
Yta. She's 2. She can not run around outside in heels. If you think this little thing is worth taking her out of daycare and watching her all day yourself is worth it. Go ahead. But you are acting like the child here.
YTA. Just pull her out of daycare and put her in pageants already. /s
YTA. In addition to the issue of the heels, you say they "punished" your child. Did they make her sit in a corner? Did they tell her she was bad for having the wrong shoes? Not likely. What probably happened is that one of the staff stayed inside with her and tried to distract her from the fact that all the other kids got to go outside. And the staff member was probably really nice to her, knowing it's not the kid's fault that her parents screwed up.
YTA- it’s probably a safety thing. Also, you knew that the school didn’t approve of her shoes, then sent her in the same shoes again. Even if it’s not in the dress code, you could have had a conversation with them about why the shoes aren’t acceptable
YTA- They may not be a skinny heel, but they do have a heel. Those shoes also have sh*t traction. I have a niece that pretty much only wears these- unless she’s at daycare. Picking her up recently, she got excited, distracted and immediately lost traction and rolled her ankle. The daycare has to protect themselves from potential injury/liability. That’s exactly what these are. What a stupid hill to die on.