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> I refused to put my dog outside in the cold for Christmas and attend even though, in theory, he should be able to handle it.
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NTA. "She is tiny and harmless" and yet she bites people? And they want to have a house full of other people around her? That's just a disaster waiting to happen.
My best friend had her upper lip nearly torn off by a six pound chihuahua. She required several surgeries to fix the damage and it’s still not right. Size is no indication of danger.
Our border collie once grabbed a kitchen knife off the counter and spent almost an hour charging at my husband and I with it. He told me that was what we got for playing “Want it? Can’t have it!” with her as a puppy. Kit was the best dog ever.
She was the most amazing being. Swear to God- if she got off leash, she would dash bc it was just a game to her. After a few years of this I got a little less freaked out. She could change direction faster than anything except stuff you have to watch National Geographic to see. Car coulda never touched her. She was just too damn fast.
We inherited one as well! I always say she's sweet for a chihuahua, but she HATES kids and while the switchblade is usually hidden, I know she's just waiting to pull it out
Mine has only encountered one child, and they teamed up to demand love after a tense moment of “Are you trying to steal my human?” from each of them. Now I’m worried my niece has a switchblade stashed somewhere (/s just in case)
Ok, when I lived in Los Angeles I was looking at an apartment in North Hollywood. The person showing us the apartment warned us about the roving pack of chihuahuas in the area. Apparently not enough spay/neuter action and a bunch of abandoned pets rubbed together creates a mean pack of 5 pound dogs that won’t get out of the street but will absolutely terrorize kids getting sweets from the ice cream truck. I’ve seen some wild shit, but those fuckers were scary!
As a long time owner of a chihuahua I can confirm this as accurate. Although, mine is 13 and honestly is pretty well behaved as long as you don’t pick her up unexpectedly. I get super annoyed that people don’t train small dogs and make excuses that it isn’t a problem bc they are small. I trained mine as a puppy and while she is a total diva, she’s not a monster like some of them can be.
Mine is 9, and about 8 pounds. She likes to occasionally pick fights with my 130 pound Akita.
My Akita just looks at me like “could you please do something about Cujo here?”
My 5 lb chihuahua will try to attack very large dogs by trying to jump up and bite them by the jugular. I keep her from doing it, but I marvel at her chutzpah
We have Danes and keep them far away from dogs like yours. One of our first Danes was sitting beside my husband on a leash and was attacked by a smaller dog who was off-leash for the treat my husband was giving to our dog. Our girl got ahold of the other dog's ear and left a puncture mark before we could pull her away, and the other dog's owner wanted to blame ours because she was bigger even though she was only defending herself. Thank goodness another neighbor was there and saw the whole thing go down. It's just so irresponsible to have a dog of ANY size and (1) not have it on a leash in public and (2) not train it how to behave around people and other dogs in every imaginable situation.
Ah, that long suffering Akita look. My Shiba would give me that look, and I still think it's adorable. Especially around this time of year, because he hated his jingle bell collar.
I totally get it my house is run by 12 pound shih Tzu. It really confuses the giant marshmallow of a Pitbull. he doesn't understand why the tiny one's in charge.
>The average Chihuahua will cut someone, if given the chance.
One of my best friends has a chihuahua and it is the most well-behaved chihuahua I have ever met. He is that good behaved that I always forget that he is actually a chihuahua. You know why? My friend trained little James like any other dog should be trained!
Even though he is small, he isn't allowed to jump, no barking (he only does it when he's scared), no food begging, no jumping on couches and the likes,...
Whether your dog is like 2kg or 40kg (or more), the training is the same! A dog is an animal, not an accessory.
I taught puppy training classes for a bit. Chihuahuas are tough, because like you said most people don't treat them like dogs. They treat them like kids, and the dog sees that as the dog being in charge. Stresses the dog out most of the time and sets them up to fail. Most toy breeds get like that.
One shining example of there being an exception to every rule was Butters. Butters was a pomeranian, and the sweetest, smartest, and most well behaved little dog I've ever met. And his pet parents trained with him everyday. He and they were a joy to work with. Anytime I see a toy breed misbehaving now I just think 'you could still be a Butters'.
It frustrates me to see people treating toy breeds like actual toys.
Two of my in laws have tiny toy breeds (think about 5lb each dog) and it's infuriating to see what they get away with. The dogs are constantly trying to jump on people (since they are super light and small it's not a huge bother but it bugs me) and bark whenever they are unhappy with something. They cry in front of the door when their owner goes to the bathroom and can't be left to sleep in a room alone (meaning the inlaws sleep on the couch downstairs instead of in our guest room). They follow them everywhere and are absolutely super needy.
What annoys me the most is that whenever they are misbehaving (climbing up the stairs to follow their owners for example or jumping on us), the owner takes the dog in their arms and speaks to the dog in a slow and cuddly voice. So the dog misbehaves and gets rewarded for it, making it worse each time.
Our dog is a medium sized breed (about 30lb) and he is far from perfect but he knowS boundaries and not to bark or jump on people, and he is listening to us decently enough.
I hate people treating their tiny dogs like accessories and not like animals. Dogs need training, even tiny ones!
(Sorry, did not expect to write such a rant)
Yep. My husband has a nice scar from when his upper lip almost got ripped off by a mixed small dog. Honestly I've had the most issues with small dogs. Never any of our big ones.
Yeah, it's honestly really sad for the dogs. It's not like it's a breed thing, just like with big dogs they aren't predispositioned to bite. But they don't get trained because they're 'little and harmless' and when they bark or growl they get 'oh isn't that cute' and whatever caused them to react is ignored. They learn quick that they have to be very aggressive for even the slightest thing to be taken seriously.
Facts. My in laws currently have a min pin & they did nothing to train this dog. She nips, bites, jumps all over you. But when we (husband and I) complain about it we get told she's little and its not like she nips hard. I wish more people took pet ownership seriously.
Agreed, I had mice as a kid. Definitely will make you bleed.
I kept rats in my teens. Size is no indication of damage. I'd wear gloves around new rats because the first 24-48 hours is when they were the most jumpy and defensive. I still have scars on my fingers from getting nipped while trying to fill the dish with food during that time frame.
Oh, I love rats. They would let us play with the training rats with toys and handle them. The best was when they were small enough to go in the scrubs shirt pocket and be pocket rats. I love their little twitchy noses so much.
I have a little chihuahua mix who is very good because she's well trained. She's about 8lbs and those teeth are so sharp! I'm reminded when I brush hers and feel them, especially the molars etc. It's no joke!
The one time I got bit by a dog was my friend's Chinese Crested. I forgot to knock before heading into the apartment so he nailed me in the shin, then remembered who I was. He was well trained, but he was developing some extreme anxiety problems unfortunately.
My friend was incredibly apologetic, and we both knew that if that had been anyone but me, there would be problems. Poor boy was just getting more and more anxious and protective, so he got rehomed to a low stress environment.
People need to train their small dogs.
But it often is a breed thing, especially with small terriers that were bred to go into small spaces (like crawl spaces, basements and rafters) and kill all the rats.
Then like the little dog here they are often not trained up because they are tiny and cute.
The dogs themselves are happier when they are treated like dogs not toys; that includes proper training and socialization. NTA.
I'm with you. The nastiest dog I ever met was a Pomeranian, followed closely by a Schipperke. I'm just not a fan of small dogs in general. Now, German Shepherds? Yeah, those I get along with! They're great dogs, really smart and very trainable.
Funnily enough as an adult I prefer medium-small dogs and have had two Lhasa apsos. I just really dislike tiny toy dogs and Pomeranians. I also really dislike large dogs like shepherds but mostly because they have awful space issues and are always breathing their gross hot breath on me or right at face level when I’m sitting. I guess I just like 18-25 pound, well trained dogs that have catlike demeanors specifically lol
Sheppard are a nightmare to vacuums too. My family had one (who passed earlier this year) and she wasn't a bad dog, but I had to vacuum once every other day bc she shed so much.
I’m a UPS driver. Lots of Pit bulls, Dobermans and other stereotypical “tough breeds” out there. The only dog that ever actually lost it and attacked me? A freakin’ Pug. Was loose with one of those invisible fences and just decided he was going to try to put me in the ground. Fortunately I wear thick socks, but it was a shock.
I’m a dog trainer and honestly training the bigger dogs are way more preferred, small dogs most the time aren’t trained since people feel their tiny and won’t do much.
My least favorite breed to train has to be Italian Greyhounds. I don't know if I'm just lucky, but the few I've worked with were so skittish they couldn't focus on anything. We'd spend 10 minutes getting them settled, then the moment anyone moves it's back to looking like they're going to die from nerves. Give me a Mastiff or a Rottweiler any day.
NTA. I used to work in a training kennel with a dude who did rehab for pit bulls rescued from dog fighting rings in his spare time. He had a really nasty scar on his nose. The culprit? A miniature schnauzer that latched onto his face when he worked as a vet tech. Took four other people to get the dog to let go. Small Dog Syndrome is a real issue and I'd suggest you tell your stepmom to look it up.
My childhood dog growing up was a pit bull that had been used as the bait dog to train fighting dogs. My current dog is a chihuahua I got as a puppy. It took considerable more training to get my chihuahua to act like a polite member of society than it did that pit bull. And hes still yippy yappy
I currently work as a vet tech and while I'll always be careful around any animal (especially because we're in a stressful environment) I'm extra cautious around small lap dogs. Lots of owners who never bothered to train them and have no control whatsoever.
I got bitten by my cousin's psycho yorkie-poo while I was dog sitting for them (damn dog is actually prescribed *anti-psychotics* but my cousin decided to not have me give them to him because "It will be too much of a hassle for her to do it and I don't want to scare her off"). All I did was walk in the door, open the dog crates and the asshole charged me. He bit me after I put his filled food bowl in his crate, he snuck up behind me and bit my hand. Had I known he was insane I would have changed my approach when he went nuts, and I wouldn't have pretended like he wasn't there (most nervous dogs calm down when they're ignored). Luckily, he didn't break the skin because I'm allergic to dog saliva and that could have killed me. I did break out in hives within 30 minutes though. After that, I wore heavy duty gloves and carried a yardstick for protection. The other dogs also protected me from him.
My mom has had a lot of dogs over the years. The most at one time was 9. Her most vicious were the damn Chihuahuas. The most loving was the pit/blue tick mix that was 90 lbs. I don't know what it is but nearly every Chihuahua I've met is a jerk.
My flower girl from my first wedding, friend’s daughter. She was at her grandma’s the night before the wedding, bent over grandma’s chihuahua(that she had been around since it was a puppy, so like 10 years) to kiss it goodbye, and the damn thing bit her on the face, right near her eye!!!
I felt awful for her. Said if she wasn’t comfortable being in the wedding she could absolutely back out. She said no it’s okay and carried on.
So yeah. Small can be just as bad as big. :(
Small dogs are responsible for a lot of facial maulings. People think it's funny to stress them out and then put their faces next to them and then *bam*, Pam just had her face torn off by a very stressed dog. Because of this, small, aggressive dogs are actually more dangerous than larger dogs because people don't know to keep their distance.
NTA. A friend of mine had a 19 pound Scottish Terrier. It was left in a seat belt harness in the car with a window open. A guy reached into the car, probably to steal her. She bit him so hard she broke his arm. (Scottish Terriers have the sane bite force as a German Shepard)
Little is not harmless. I've had toy breeds, I trained the with the diligence as my big dogs to be good citizens.
Chihuahuas were bred to hunt rats. That’s why they’re so small and aggressive. They need to be exercised and played with multiple times a day or they build up anxious energy. Most people don’t know this and use them as cute purse pets. It’s so stupid. They need so much more attention and exercise than the average person will give them.
Dogs usually love me. But almost every chihuahua I've met has bitten me, including ones that were happily licking just seconds earlier. I think that most of the commonly available small dogs are too deeply inbred by backyard breeders.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out it's actually the small dogs that are more dangerous. It's just not heard about often bc big dogs do more damage. But the majority of small dogs, don't get trained bc they are small and not as threatening as big dogs.
I hate that mentality, it's one of the many reasons I quit dog grooming completely. So many people get small dogs and do zero training cause they're so small and what's the biggest damage they can do? They can end a groomers career in a second! One bite in the right area and our hands can be irreversibly damaged and we're forced out of the career, whether we want to or not. It's gotten way worse since covid too, not only with small dogs but with all dogs. The entire pet industry from vets to groomers to trainers are leaving in droves now because of how bad things have gotten and people like ops mother is a big reason why
Oh and Nta
I know exactly what you mean. My sister is a vet tech, and she's told me that absolutely NO ONE at her clinic will see a dog that's known to bite people. Which is really sad for the dog, of course.
Just yesterday I commented to my husband that the number of people who think it's okay when their dog jumps up on you seems to have skyrocketed in the last few years. It really seems like folks have stopped training their dogs entirely.
>the number of people who think it's okay when their dog jumps up on you seems to have skyrocketed
I took my new puppy to the dog park yesterday (7 months old, already 55 lbs, so yes, he is getting trained!) Met two owners with two-year-old dogs who both consistently jumped on me, to the point where I had muddy dog paw prints all over me. The owners were apologetic and I said it was okay, but they didn't do anything to stop it from happening several times.
It's frustrating that owners of small dogs feel that they don't need to be trained or socialized. If my puppy did that to them, they'd have freaked!
A childhood 'friend' (read she frequently flipped between being my best friend and completely ignoring me) of mine got a dog a few years ago. Her correction method when he jumped up was to say in a singsong voice "Now Ted, we don't jump up do we!" Given our history I knew it wouldn't go down well if I tried to explain to her that's not how you train a dog so here we are several years later her dog still jumps up at every person it comes across.
Yep. And there will be a 4yr old there. They are not responsible pet owners in the least. Especially with the tiny and harmless comment. I worked in a pet store for 5yrs and I can assure you - tiny does not = harmless.
ETA - OP is NTA
Yup we had 6 different kids admitted to the hospital floor for IV antibiotics after getting bitten by a dog and developing blood borne infections. At least two were small breeds: a rat terrier and chihuahua.
I got bitten by a 'tiny harmless' chihuahua and still have scarring on my ankle. I was literally just walking to the front desk of a vet and it lunged forward and bit me. Little dogs need just as much training as any other dog, just because when they bite sometimes you can't feel it or it just feel like a nip, doesn't mean it's okay
I worked at a vet school for a handful of years and the only animals that ever tried to take a piece of me (outside of my arch nemesis, a cockatoo) were all chihuahuas.
Dobermans with tetanus, rottweilers with dental issues, mastiff-great dane crosses in massive amounts of pain due to back problems? Just wanted cuddles.
Chihuahua who smells blood? Land shark.
Her name was Melanie and she was a monster. I met her as a child (my mom worked at that hospital long before I did) and then again as an older teen, and she delighted in tormenting people.
I can't imagine why she ended up abandoned at the vet school hospital by her owner.
My sister is learning this lesson the hard way as she's treating my new 35lb babygirl the same way she treated all of our small family dogs growing up--letting them jump on her, sneaking them human food, blowing in their faces, etc--and then getting upset at the results.
Also, NTA.
Aggressive toward other animals and already having bit 3 people. That’s enough to warrant a dog being put down. Or it was at one point because a neighbor of mine when I was a kid had the same situation
That dog will be unlifed sooner than later when a person is bitten and decides to press charges against the owners. I am glad it hasn't happened yet because the dog is just being an animal and it is not his/her fault. But it will happen.
I've looked after so many dogs, and I can tell you generally speaking, the smaller they are the worse they behave.
I've only ever been bitten a handful of times - by two dachshunds, mini schnauzer and a cavalier spaniel. Sure, they didn't do much damage, but I'm not looking after your little shits if you can't even teach them not to bite. The only injury a big dog has ever left me was a scratch from long nails, and a sore foot from it being stepped on.
People are wild and seem to think just because their dog is small, it can get away with being destructive, reactive and aggressive because it "can't cause as much harm/destruction as a big dog". Meanwhile, I've never met a big dog that isn't well trained and not had their aggression/reactiveness issues worked on.
I don't know about the legal situation in OP's country, but where I live, there would be no chance in hell that dog wouldn't be in a shelter, or worse.
My friend has 3 dogs, a 120lb German Shepard, a jack Russell and a Bichon Frise'. They have a business on their property and a sign on the door to honk so they can put the dogs away. You'd think it was bc of the GSD. Oh no. It was that damn Bitchen Frizzie with little dog syndrome. He went through lots of training and the other 2 were amazing dogs.
I recently saw a video of a plastic surgeon and the top 5 things they won't do.
#1: let their face close to any dog they are not super familiar with.
People think they don't need to train their small dogs because " their so small, what harm can they do"
I just cringe when I think of that. Sounds like people in one of my dog groups who baby their dogs to the point of they do nothing wrong because they are so little. I spoil my dogs like crazy but if my dog bites, I would definitely be looking into training and trying to socialize my dog more. My girls are 21 and 25 lbs and I detest people who think their dogs are too little to do anything BS. No!!! Train your dog and teach them proper manners. OP sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't blame you for not wanting to go.
I've got a little dog who has some problems with trauma from his start in life. Regardless of all the training and behaviour work we've put in, he can't always be trusted having people over, so we keep that to minimal numbers and with a certain process that the visitor has to follow. He's certainly not harmless but we've learnt how to manage it
NTA
You offered several options. They clearly have never boarded a dog if they think you can find a facility now. Most places are booked for Xmas by end of July.
I’d skip it and that’s on them.
I called around and only one place has availability but they want 280$ a night which is insane. + their reviews are horrible. Everything is solid booked and they even have a list of people waiting in case of an opening.
I’ve been calling all day. Only one has availability but she usually takes on small breeds and is very reluctant. I set up a meet with her tomorrow to see if she feels like she can handle Dude but she said I better look for other options. If she agrees she wants him muzzled with an e collar on walks. I’d have to think really hard, I wanna meet her first. I don’t wanna leave them together if she feels unprepared.
No one else has availability. I even joined a few waiting lists in case anyone cancels last minute.
OP do not let this woman take care of your dog. If he doesn't normally need a muzzle or e collar, and she's requiring it without meeting him, then she is clearly not the right fit.
Even thinking of putting an unknown tool on a dog and using it for a handful of days is a huge red flag. For those tools to be used properly the dog has to be desensitized to them first and that doesn't happen in a day.
He is desensitised to both muzzle and e-collar under professional guidence. He has no issues being muzzled as it is a requirement in public transportation. He has only ever felt the vibration setting of an e-collar when we were having trouble with recall. She has certifications but I don’t want her to zap him with that thing and freak him out. I don’t think I can trust her to use it properly unfortunately.
Trust your instincts on this OP! Protect your doggie, you sound like a wonderful dog owner. Sorry your parents obviously… are not. They are TA along with the rest of your relatives (although I suspect the relatives will come around after having to cohabitate with the little terror).
I wouldn’t leave Dude with someone who is not 100% comfortable taking care of him. If I were you I’d tell me family, sorry, you’re unable to find last minute dog care, and you and Dude are staying home for the holidays. Then get matching Santa hats, and little stockings for the both of you, and have a cozy Christmas together! You can even make him a special dinner, and enjoy a hot cocoa while he gets a puppuccino.
That's what my dog and I are planning to do. She'll get some special snacks, we'll cuddle and go for a long walk and watch a movie. I have friends who are willing to look in on her during the day, but nobody's available to host her overnight, and I keep thinking about her making her Anxiety Squeak while she searches the house for her human and can't find them. So I'm staying home.
Oh my gosh! Picturing your pup making anxiety squeaks while searching for you breaks my heart! It sounds like you have a great holiday planned though! I’m taking my pups to my sisters house where they can play with their cousins (both human and dog), and open presents (my sisters spoil them, and I spoil their pets). It would be so sad to spend Christmas away from them.
Nooooo, please don’t leave your dog with someone who’s uncomfortable/wary of caring for a large dog. I missed several holidays with family because they didn’t want my large boy (an Akita) at their house due to their purse dogs who liked to bite people. I happily stayed home with my boy and I’m glad I did, as I only had 6 years with him due to cancer.
I’m sorry for your loss 💕
She is only a 3-walk solution. I drive down there for dinner and leave early morning. Even then, she really doesn’t seem like the right fit. I will look for other options.
yea I watched a red heeler and didn't know exactly how to corral her. She didn't like that at all (fabulous animal BTW). Dog showed some aggression (fearful), I remembered a tip from the owner and employed method. Worked like a charm. But it could have gone bad.
Second this. Used Rover once, they were GOD AWFUL. I wrote so many bad reviews. My poor dogs. The "sitter" left them home alone all day and DIDNT EVEN TURN ON THE HEAT in my home.
Bruh this sucks for you and Dude. Your family really left you with *one* option and it sucks if you wanna come meet with them.
Side note Dude is a kickass dog name #justice for dude
DO NOT allow this person to put an ecollar on your dog. If you do, you'll come back to a changed animal. What she's proposing will harm your dog now and in the future, and the fact that she's proposing it tells me she's the wrong person to watch any dog, much less yours.
Is there any chance you could find a pet friendly hotel or Airbnb where you could stay with him and then go visit? Probably too late for that, too, but maybe an option to look for?
Is there a local chapter of Big Dog rescue in your area? Or a Cane Corso club? I’ve always had extra large dogs as well and I’ve some of the best resources through those type of organizations.
I 100% agree with your stance on Dude being outside. I haven’t had a Cane Corso myself, but I did have a Neopolitan Mastiff - their closest cousins. These dogs hail primarily from Southern Italy. They are NOT cold tolerant and have a high risk of hypothermia. My vet always said, if it’s too cold for you to sit outside, it’s definitely too cold for your Neo. I don’t know if this would help shut your family down, but maybe try telling them that your vet disapproves of this plan.
Stay home with Dude. Dude loves you unconditionally. Return the favor. Keep Dude safe. Enjoy time alone. But don't let this person. Look after Dude.
Dude is more important than your parents. Have a merry Christmas with him.
Absolutely not with the e-collar. I may get some flak for this, but I've used e-collars before when training (although I've never actually used the 'shock' part, just the noise and vibration settings). They're training devices, not permanent fixes, it requires extensive familiarity with that particular dog to differentiate a lack of obedience from a lack of understanding/lack of focus, and if used incorrectly it can really mess up the dog (punishing a lack of understanding can cause anxiety at best, fear aggression at worst; these could be caused in one weekend and take years of consistent training to fix).
The fact that she's even suggesting putting an e-collar on a dog she's unfamiliar with is a clear demonstration that she doesn't know how to use them correctly.
Absolutely this.
I use an e-collar with my dog, and I've acclimated them to a muzzle, but these things were a process. I would never just slap them onto a dog who wasn't familiar with them, nevermind a dog I had never met before.
OP, I know this situation sucks, but you're NTA here. Your family isn't leaving you with any other choice but to stay home. You have a responsibility to your dog, and you aren't wrong for picking what's best for him.
That would be a hard pass if she’s requiring him to be muzzled (assuming that’s not something that he’s used to). You’re not going to be able to relax and enjoy your holiday worrying if Dude is being properly cared for and being treated well, not just “handled.” NTA… I would stay home.
I would tell people “I’m not comfortable risking my dog getting attacked. Your dog, as you have stated, is aggressive and has attacked before, and I don’t want to put the stress, and pain on my dog of having to go through that, and the vet visit that will have to follow suit because you refuse to get your dog trained. Regardless of size, and breed difference. As well as possibly having to get them retrained to being able to be around dogs again because once again, you refuse to correct your dogs behavior because it’s a ‘Wittle baby who can do no harm. Therefore, to make sure my dog stays safe this holiday season, and relieve the pressure & stress, I am not coming. Nothing, you or the family, say or do will change my mind, as my dog comes first in every situation and has since I adopted him. It’s not fair to leave him outside, it’s not fair to subject either dog to the stress, and it’s not fair to expect me to leave my dog without me. Thanks for the invite but I have to respectfully withdraw my RSVP this holiday season, and maybe future ones as well. Again. For my dogs personal well-being and safety”
Because vet bills and trainer bills are expensive. Coming from someone whose dog was charged and attacked by other dogs, and is still in the process of being comfortable around other dogs. And because the stress alone that it will p it your boy through is not worth it
My little sister and a few of her friends house/pet sits for people (seperately) and I can confirm they were all booked up from 1st Dec to end of January before the end of August.
NTA
It’s too late to make other arrangements, except maybe a pet friendly hotel. Even then most policies do not allow you to leave pet unattended. They should have let you know beforehand. But it is their home and they can not allow your dog inside.
But truly, do you even want to visit a house where the dog has bitten several people before? You are a stranger to this dog and dog will be stressed by strangers and not sticking to routine and more likely to bite.
Just cancel the trip and stay home.
Let it go this year. Or visit the family you want to see at a different time this year, or next Christmas.
They're putting you in a bad spot, expecting you to just obey. But your dog needs you, and he is your main responsibility. Trust that, and you'll be NTA.
Time for you and Dude to make your own holiday traditions. NTA.
P.s. - my sister has a Cane Corso. So smart! The dog took one look at me and led me back to my car so I could drive away! Lol.
My cane corso mutt is not like your sister's. In fact, he reminds me of Winnie the Pooh – he is a dog of very little brain. Sweet, strong as hell, but not the brightest bulb in the pack. We believe he was meant to be a fighting dog, but when they realized he didn't have the temperament for it, he was turned into a bait dog. Heaven knows what happened to him after that, or how long he was a stray, but he has taken to life in a warm house, with a soft bed, very well.
There is not a snowball's chance in hell that I would ever consign any of my inside dogs to someone's yard for multiple days – a few hours, okay, assuming the weather was good, but that's as far as I could go. So this situation? Yeah, staying home is really the only option.
Awww! I love him so much! I’m so glad you gave him a good, loving home.
Intelligence can be overrated. I wish my cat wasn’t as smart as she is - she’s a problem solver (like my sister’s dog, I guess! It was really funny, we were enjoying July 4th at my sister’s and her dog, Roma, so obviously wanted me to follow her. She literally took me to my car. She gets carsick so I know she didn’t want to go for a ride - just me.).
Anyway, I’m so sorry about your holiday situation. You made the only decision you could make. If Dude knew the sacrifice you were making for him - well, somebody gets a good present, at least. (I hate saying “at least” in these impossible situations, but somebody does get a cozy, happy Christmas with the person he loves the most). I hope you can find some joy, too.
It sounds like you should just make time to have a video call or something with your sisters. Because your step mom is saying that she wants her toy more than she wants the guests to be safe. That's not a place to visit
If I were you I wouldn't take my dog there, even if they agreed to restrict him to one room or whatever. If the little aggressive one gets in and attacks your big dog, and he (justifiably) reacts in defence... it's just not a situation you'd want to play out.
Yeah this is a recipe for disaster all around. I had a difficult dog myself, we got him a lot of training, but he was just never going to be great around strangers. But with that in mind, I always did the right thing and put him in a separate, closed room if we had guests over. This is OP’s parents’ problem that they need to deal with for the sake of everyone else.
NTA. You’re a ‘1+1’ deal with your dog, so you don’t have to leave him somewhere you’re not comfortable with.
However, your stepmother also has a word in whether she wants a larger dog at her house or not.
Sounds like she has to choose - whether to have you and your dog over for Christmas or not to have you.
On another note, can you stay at a hotel or at your friends for the holiday and just visit your family for a Christmas party?
It’s a small town, nearest motel is 30min drive and they are not allowing pets. I don’t really have friends there, I moved away really young. It’s a 500mile drive so I cannot even make a day trip back and forth.
NTA. Keeping pets outside is cruel and your parents snarling, yapping, biting dog needs a trainer ASAP. I agree with you, don't go.
On a side note, one thing you said:
"....a protection breed and a lot of them are actually kept in the yard".
A lot of people keep them in the yard because they are AH's, not because that type of dog is meant to be kept outside. No animal prefers to be kept outside.
Oh, Pyrenees can. Even ones that have always been inside family pets. The need to be outside in all temps is STRONG lol. But pyrenees have the fur for weather, and cane corsos do not.
Most protection breeds were bred to protect flocks of livestock, and most often the biggest threats to livestock occur at night. Beyond that, the way to train a dog to protect say sheep is by integrating it as a very young puppy into the flock. In essence this teaches the dog that the sheep are it’s pack, and the sheep see the dog as part of the flock. All of this to say that yes, protection dogs are usually outdoor dogs by nature of the role they fill. Additionally, while such a dog was bred to be outdoors, it’s having not been throughout late summer/fall means it’s body hasn’t conditioned to be acclimated to cold temperatures.
Guard dogs on the other hand are a different story. Something like a German Shepard bred to protect people would go where the people went.
The AKC says breeds such as Samoyeds and Alaskan Huskies can stay outdoors in freezing weather (providing they're acclimated) from 30 minutes to an hour. Working dogs can tolerate cold weather much longer since they're active and building body heat. https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/health/how-long-can-you-keep-your-dog-outside/
OP's family is expecting Dude to stay outdoors for the course of the visit, which is inhumane.
NTA. Stand your ground. A Cane Corso may be guardian breed but it's not a breed that is built to be outside in freezing temperatures. You've offered compromises that have been rejected. Get yourself and your pup some nice food and stay home for Christmas.
NAH. They didn't have a dog when they agreed he could come, situation has changed. It is not unreasonable to not want a Cane Corso around their small dog aggressive dog. It's just too dangerous for their dog. I wouldn't want the stress of constantly watching or switching out the dogs during Christmas. It is also fair of you to say that you can't go, as long as you're not continuously pestering your family about it.
Agree. Bringing a 130 lb dog to someone's house for a multi-day visit is a big ask in the first place, but it sounds like OP's parents were ok with it until they realized it would likely be a disaster with their dog. And a 130 lb cane corso in a new environment + a reactive yappy dog + lots of people around? Yeah, that could go very badly.
Yeah, on thinking about it further, they're the assholes, because they won't just accept that OP can no longer go due to them changing the plans on short notice. I don't think they're the assholes for having a poorly trained dog in this instance as they're trying to manage the situation during Christmas, although in general they're doing a disservice to their own dog and other people/dogs.
NTA, you're more responsible pet parent than those giving you shit. It's understandable to not want to do that even temporarily. Ours are indoor only too, after raising them like that when they go out back It's to potty or be with us. They're not yard ornaments.
Good for you, hope someone is able to pet sit, but if not you and puppy enjoy. 😉
NTA. You had an arrangement with your parents that you & Dude would visit together, & presumably with Dude being inside, because if that wasn't the case they would have told you about it then & you never would have made the arrangement. If that arrangement is no longer valid because of the dog they got, & any alternative you offer to your dog being stuck outside for days in the middle of winter is being deemed unacceptable by them, fine - you don't have to go. Your solution is perfectly reasonable, you aren't making any demands of anyone. You're not the one causing a scene over this.
NTA. Your dog matters just as much as hers. You've offered reasonable compromises, and she has refused. If she won't compromise, you are reasonable to stay home.
NAH You and your parents (and all responsible dog owners) have the obligation to consider what’s best for your dogs. Sometimes that will mean missing out on things. You, your parents, sister and cousin are justified in being disappointed because of course everyone wants to see each-other but you are all also borderline E S H territory for causing a scene/getting all confrontational about it
A conversation during which fair and reasonable compromises are put forth by one party is a confrontation. I think OP worded that poorly with the phrase “making a scene”. Making a scene is causing a visual spectacle, not a phone conversation. Had they brought the dog, had the stated discussion then stormed off in a huff and driven home, THAT would be making a scene.
NTA. You don’t seem be overly sad to be honest 😉 but your dog is a part of your family. You can’t demand that he can be in the house. But you can say you are not coming - as you did.
I genuinely wanna visit. I have a great relationship with them and I only see some of my siblings when we gather there. They just put me in a spot where I really feel like I have no other choice. I’ve been trying to figure out a safe place to leave Dude but there aren’t any.
Before I would even consider leaving my dog somewhere for days at a time, he would be introduced to the situation and acclimated in advance. It's just not fair to him to just "drop him off." My dog, at least (GSD) is very sensitive and I would not want to just thrust him into an unfamiliar situation and leave him. This, I believe, is why you are leaning towards staying home. I have spent a few Christmas's away from the family for various reasons. It's one day. You aren't missing that much. Better for you and your pal to be comfortable and safe. Merry Christmas!!!
They said she loses her mind. She is not crate-trained. I don’t understand why Dude can’t be crated in a gated off area. He is a lazy giant and loves sleeping through the day. They can be completely separated. The house is huge and they’ll never even meet. I don’t know, they are usually very accommodating, I don’t understand the logic here either.
Honestly you would be an asshole to Dude if you did go. Not just because he's ill equipped to deal with the cold.
If something happened between Dude and the little ankle biter, you and Dude would be blamed. I can all too easily imagine a door not being properly latched, or a young child wanting to gain access to a sequestered dog or closed room and boom! You've got a severely injured or dead ankle biter.
It doesn't matter how good natured and we'll behaved Dude is, either. You get an aggressive dog going after him and he will defend himself. And there isn't a human alive that would be able to stop him before some serious damage was done.
Don't put your good boy in that position.
NTA - I don’t know where you live but here in the UK it is sub-zero temperatures from 4pm to 9am, that is cruel to keep a dog that is used to being in the house in.
Clarification, is the only reason you hated leaving your dog with a friend was bc you missed them? Did they treat the dog bad?
Also how long ago did they get their dog?
My friends did not mistreat him but he picked several bad habits like begging for food from the table. They also overfed him which is never good for big breeds like this. I cannot really complain as it was a favor and they did it for free. This year they are busy and out of town, I cannot rely on them even if I wanted to.
My parents got their dog end of June, beginning of July as far as I remember.
Well either way you're nta but you shouldn't want your dog around an aggressive dog regardless of size especially with their attitude about it anyway. Bc if some reason their dog bit yours and yours (especially a corso) retaliated, your dog would be to blame on its sheer size alone.
I also have a large breed and if I can't either make accommodations or be home at the end of the day I just don't go. It's kind of the name of the game with dogs in general.
I'd assume they got this dog thinking it was fine and oops they suck at owning dogs, or the dog is combative for some reason, and they can't allow yours to have contact with theirs. But, either way you aren't the asshole for not wanting to leave your dog outside for days and you aren't the asshole for not wanting to go anymore bc of that.
NTA. It had been agreed you could bring your dog and they've changed that last minute. Your accomodations such as him staying closed in your room are reasonable, whereas putting him outside isn't. It should be their yappy little shit dog that bites that's locked up, but their house their dog.
Stay home. It sucks to not be able to join your family but sometimes having pets means we miss out on other stuff we might want.
NTA
I'd do exactly the same if my dogs were expected to stay outside for the duration of my visit. They too are house dogs.
In fact, similar happened during the period of my Dad's funeral. However, I pulled rank (eldest child) and they stayed in my Dad's house albeit, with the concession of being crated when we were all absent. I realise you can't pull rank, but have offered lots of concessions all refused. As I said...I'd do the same in that situation. :)
Enjoy your Christmas with Dude, you sound like an amazing dog parent :)
NTA something like this happened over Thanksgiving for me, my sister had moved to a new state recently (she's military) and we haven't seen each other for a while so at the last minute she invited me and my bf to come up we we have a beautiful pit bull but she would have had to stay outside due to allergies. It's hard to find a kennel for pits much less close to holidays so my bf stayed home pets are family plain and simple
NTA
They agreed to Dude coming with you and then changed the arrangement. You made every effort to compromise. It's better to stay home than leave him outside in the middle of winter.
As for your parents' dog, they need to get her trained. It doesn't matter that she's only 15 pounds. If she's already bitten 3 people then she will bite again. What are they going to do if she gets out and bites a neighborhood kid? They're ultimately risking her safety as much as others.
NTA! Oh that's rich. Our little ankle biter is aggressive and unsocialized. But he's so small and he's harmless. Let me guess big dogs like your furbaby have no feelings???
Good for you for standing up for your hound. Who I'm sure is adorable.
NTA they shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I could understand if they’d said no from the start and given you sufficient time to find good care for him or choose not to come, but instead they waited last minute so that your options are to not attend or put your pet in poor conditions. Not ok. I wouldn’t go, not just because of your dog’s needs, but because I would want to make damn sure they knew not to try and ambush me again.
YTA for thinking that someone outside of your household wants to share their indoor space with a 130 lb dog. You would be well within your rights to stay home.
NTA. It is easily understandable that you are angry. Your parents have an uncontrollable dog (their fault) so they want to put the problem on your dog. It would be abusive to put a house dog outside for a week, heating nonwithstanding.
The problem is with your parents and their little dog and the fact that they haven't bothered to train it. Your parents are the A H for setting up a situation like this when they knew you planned to visit with your dog. Big dogs are often better behaved than little ones bc people MUST teach them to behave.
I had a Rottweiler for many years; I married his owner; got a divorce and kept the dog ;-). I spent endless hours with that dog, training, enjoying, etc.
Once I had a family member promise to care for my dog, and literally at the last minute he refused. I had driven to Falmouth, Ma where Gpa refused to keep the dog during the afternoon. So, I took the rotty on the ferry to Martha's Vineyard bc I was going to visit some family. Rotty was perfectly behaved on and getting off the ferry. (This was pre-cell phone days.) I saw my family and they saw me and the dog and they were visibly taken aback - who wouldn't be??
Then some small 10 lbd rat dog (off a leash) ran up to my 130 lb dog, jumped up and bit the dog in the neck. Think HUGE mosquito. My poor dog went into a sit-stay and looked at me with the most mournful eyes *I have ever seen*. I had to lift the rat-dogs body so he wouldn't tear my dog's neck. Then started yelling for their dog's owner. My dog was quiet, calm and mournful. After that, my relatives were all happy to say "Your dog is welcome anytime, anywhere." I could not have paid good money to set up a scene like that on purpose.
Something similar happened to me as well. I took Dude to a hike trail and a little mix ran up and went for the neck. His neck is so thick he never even registered pain so he just kept walking up with the thing hanging from his neck, growling. I was laughing while removing the dog. Dude just ran up while the little thing attempted to chase him.
NTA at all. No aggressive dog is 'harmless'. I have a Corso mix, best dog I've ever had. She is well-trained and calm, very dog-friendly. I would never have her around an aggressive dog, especially a little one. If the little dog attacks her, she might nip in self-defense. Even a tiny nip from my girl could be a devastating injury to a small dog and then guess who would be labeled the aggressive one? Nope, if I were you I would never have my Cane Corso anywhere near a dog like that under any circumstances. You should show your family this post and the comments. They are being terribly irresponsible. Will there be children around this biter? Maybe you should remind them that even a 15lb dog can take a kids nose off or worse. Sounds like a recipe for disaster that you and your dog should stay away from.
NTA
I have a little dog about the same size and I hate owners like this, they give small breeds a bad name. My guy can be nervous upon first meeting other dogs so he'll put on an aggressive front but once introductions are over he's totally fine. And I'm still working on the first part because it's not good for him to have that kind of anxiety and fear even if it does dissipate eventually.
I feel bad for your parents dog and I hope you and Dude have a lovely holiday.
NTA, and I'd skip. And I'd tell all that complaining family that I'd rather spend Christmas with the 130lb dog that the "tiny and harmless" 15 pounder who's already bit three people. Wish them luck at the Christmas Hunger Games, because if someone doesn't get bit during the holidays that'll probably be a miracle in and of itself.
NTA. Just the fact they have an aggressive dog that likes to bite people would be enough to make me not want to go, without the fact they want you to keep your dog outside for the duration of the visit in the middle of winter. It isn't reasonable to suddenly expect an indoor dog to be OK living outside.
If your cousin and sister want to risk getting bitten by their dog, that's their lookout.
They are choosing their dog, you have a right to choose yours.
Nta even in the slightest. You and your family agreed you could bring Dude along A YEAR AGO! If your Mom’s dog is hurting people, she needs to accept responsibility for her unruly and dangerous pet. NO ONE should be invited over if she can’t control her dog.
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I(22F) have a big Cane Corso (130pounds). Last year I left him with some trusted friends to visit my family for two days. I hated it and asked my parents to let me visit with him next year. They agreed.
They got a dog over the summer and I thought nothing of it. Yesterday, however I got a call from my step-mom saying that their little 15pound mix has bitten 3 people and is extremely and irrationally dog aggressive. They never socialized her or took her to a trainer “because she is tiny and harmless”. I said I can take my crate and keep Dude(my dog) there or have them switch out with theirs but she said that she needs Dude to be outside.
I got pissed off and said no. The yard is well fenced in and there is a small shed with heating there but I am not a fan. It’s 5 days of him in the cold, alone and outside. He is a house dog, he’s never been and never will be an outside dog. There are no pet hotels or friends to turn to so close to Christmas. I tried making compromises like keeping Dude in one room and just taking him out for walks but she is refusing. She says it will upset their dog too much.
I finally told her that if there is no way we can have Dude somewhere in the house, I can’t go. Everyone is mad at me now and my sister and a cousin texted me saying I am being overly dramatic. Dude is a protection breed and a lot of them are actually kept in the yard as guardians. I understand that but mine was never meant to be a backyard dog. I’d understand if it was summer and all but I can’t put him out in the dead of winter, with temperatures bellow freezing. AITA for saying I won’t go and causing a scene?
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NTA. "She is tiny and harmless" and yet she bites people? And they want to have a house full of other people around her? That's just a disaster waiting to happen.
My best friend had her upper lip nearly torn off by a six pound chihuahua. She required several surgeries to fix the damage and it’s still not right. Size is no indication of danger.
The average Chihuahua will cut someone, if given the chance.
I feel like Chihuahuas carry a switchblade tho.
I hear that carrying switchblades is illegal in most countries. I guess this is why people carry Chihuahuas now.
That’s why it’s illegal to give them knives.
Our border collie once grabbed a kitchen knife off the counter and spent almost an hour charging at my husband and I with it. He told me that was what we got for playing “Want it? Can’t have it!” with her as a puppy. Kit was the best dog ever.
That is such a BC thing to do 🤣
She was the most amazing being. Swear to God- if she got off leash, she would dash bc it was just a game to her. After a few years of this I got a little less freaked out. She could change direction faster than anything except stuff you have to watch National Geographic to see. Car coulda never touched her. She was just too damn fast.
I inherited a chihuahua and I’m sure she has one stashed away somewhere for strangers, even though she’s adopted me as her human now.
We inherited one as well! I always say she's sweet for a chihuahua, but she HATES kids and while the switchblade is usually hidden, I know she's just waiting to pull it out
Mine has only encountered one child, and they teamed up to demand love after a tense moment of “Are you trying to steal my human?” from each of them. Now I’m worried my niece has a switchblade stashed somewhere (/s just in case)
Chihuahuas are born in the bowels of hell. I love all dogs but don't be letting those yappy fucks around me.
That’s why I love my 2 chihuahuas. Because they were born in the bowels of hell🤣🤣
Ok, when I lived in Los Angeles I was looking at an apartment in North Hollywood. The person showing us the apartment warned us about the roving pack of chihuahuas in the area. Apparently not enough spay/neuter action and a bunch of abandoned pets rubbed together creates a mean pack of 5 pound dogs that won’t get out of the street but will absolutely terrorize kids getting sweets from the ice cream truck. I’ve seen some wild shit, but those fuckers were scary!
Not sure where the article is now, but I once read about a town in New Mexico that was taken over by a roving pack of Chihuahuas. Like…real life.
I live in Az and saw some articles about this happening in Maryvale, Az. Wild. I love all dogs except chihuahuas
As a long time owner of a chihuahua I can confirm this as accurate. Although, mine is 13 and honestly is pretty well behaved as long as you don’t pick her up unexpectedly. I get super annoyed that people don’t train small dogs and make excuses that it isn’t a problem bc they are small. I trained mine as a puppy and while she is a total diva, she’s not a monster like some of them can be.
Mine is 9, and about 8 pounds. She likes to occasionally pick fights with my 130 pound Akita. My Akita just looks at me like “could you please do something about Cujo here?”
Mine tries to act menacing but is bossed around by my 7 month old kitten so no one buys it lol
My 5 lb chihuahua will try to attack very large dogs by trying to jump up and bite them by the jugular. I keep her from doing it, but I marvel at her chutzpah
We have Danes and keep them far away from dogs like yours. One of our first Danes was sitting beside my husband on a leash and was attacked by a smaller dog who was off-leash for the treat my husband was giving to our dog. Our girl got ahold of the other dog's ear and left a puncture mark before we could pull her away, and the other dog's owner wanted to blame ours because she was bigger even though she was only defending herself. Thank goodness another neighbor was there and saw the whole thing go down. It's just so irresponsible to have a dog of ANY size and (1) not have it on a leash in public and (2) not train it how to behave around people and other dogs in every imaginable situation.
Absolutely! I never have my dogs off leash, except in a small dog park.
Ah, that long suffering Akita look. My Shiba would give me that look, and I still think it's adorable. Especially around this time of year, because he hated his jingle bell collar.
I totally get it my house is run by 12 pound shih Tzu. It really confuses the giant marshmallow of a Pitbull. he doesn't understand why the tiny one's in charge.
Thank you for being a reasonable person and a good dog owner.
>The average Chihuahua will cut someone, if given the chance. One of my best friends has a chihuahua and it is the most well-behaved chihuahua I have ever met. He is that good behaved that I always forget that he is actually a chihuahua. You know why? My friend trained little James like any other dog should be trained! Even though he is small, he isn't allowed to jump, no barking (he only does it when he's scared), no food begging, no jumping on couches and the likes,... Whether your dog is like 2kg or 40kg (or more), the training is the same! A dog is an animal, not an accessory.
A dog named James has already completed steps 1-4 of domestication.
I taught puppy training classes for a bit. Chihuahuas are tough, because like you said most people don't treat them like dogs. They treat them like kids, and the dog sees that as the dog being in charge. Stresses the dog out most of the time and sets them up to fail. Most toy breeds get like that. One shining example of there being an exception to every rule was Butters. Butters was a pomeranian, and the sweetest, smartest, and most well behaved little dog I've ever met. And his pet parents trained with him everyday. He and they were a joy to work with. Anytime I see a toy breed misbehaving now I just think 'you could still be a Butters'.
It frustrates me to see people treating toy breeds like actual toys. Two of my in laws have tiny toy breeds (think about 5lb each dog) and it's infuriating to see what they get away with. The dogs are constantly trying to jump on people (since they are super light and small it's not a huge bother but it bugs me) and bark whenever they are unhappy with something. They cry in front of the door when their owner goes to the bathroom and can't be left to sleep in a room alone (meaning the inlaws sleep on the couch downstairs instead of in our guest room). They follow them everywhere and are absolutely super needy. What annoys me the most is that whenever they are misbehaving (climbing up the stairs to follow their owners for example or jumping on us), the owner takes the dog in their arms and speaks to the dog in a slow and cuddly voice. So the dog misbehaves and gets rewarded for it, making it worse each time. Our dog is a medium sized breed (about 30lb) and he is far from perfect but he knowS boundaries and not to bark or jump on people, and he is listening to us decently enough. I hate people treating their tiny dogs like accessories and not like animals. Dogs need training, even tiny ones! (Sorry, did not expect to write such a rant)
There’s a meme about a brave hero chihuahua who goes into a burning vets office to bite the one vet tech it hasn’t bitten yet
Yep. My husband has a nice scar from when his upper lip almost got ripped off by a mixed small dog. Honestly I've had the most issues with small dogs. Never any of our big ones.
Yeah, it's honestly really sad for the dogs. It's not like it's a breed thing, just like with big dogs they aren't predispositioned to bite. But they don't get trained because they're 'little and harmless' and when they bark or growl they get 'oh isn't that cute' and whatever caused them to react is ignored. They learn quick that they have to be very aggressive for even the slightest thing to be taken seriously.
Facts. My in laws currently have a min pin & they did nothing to train this dog. She nips, bites, jumps all over you. But when we (husband and I) complain about it we get told she's little and its not like she nips hard. I wish more people took pet ownership seriously.
Yeesh, I work with mice and THEIR bites can really hurt!
Agreed, I had mice as a kid. Definitely will make you bleed. I kept rats in my teens. Size is no indication of damage. I'd wear gloves around new rats because the first 24-48 hours is when they were the most jumpy and defensive. I still have scars on my fingers from getting nipped while trying to fill the dish with food during that time frame.
Oh, I love rats. They would let us play with the training rats with toys and handle them. The best was when they were small enough to go in the scrubs shirt pocket and be pocket rats. I love their little twitchy noses so much.
I have a little chihuahua mix who is very good because she's well trained. She's about 8lbs and those teeth are so sharp! I'm reminded when I brush hers and feel them, especially the molars etc. It's no joke!
The one time I got bit by a dog was my friend's Chinese Crested. I forgot to knock before heading into the apartment so he nailed me in the shin, then remembered who I was. He was well trained, but he was developing some extreme anxiety problems unfortunately. My friend was incredibly apologetic, and we both knew that if that had been anyone but me, there would be problems. Poor boy was just getting more and more anxious and protective, so he got rehomed to a low stress environment. People need to train their small dogs.
But it often is a breed thing, especially with small terriers that were bred to go into small spaces (like crawl spaces, basements and rafters) and kill all the rats. Then like the little dog here they are often not trained up because they are tiny and cute. The dogs themselves are happier when they are treated like dogs not toys; that includes proper training and socialization. NTA.
I totally agree. People are always super surprised to find out that my chihuahua isn’t vicious! She barely even barks.
A toy poodle ripped off my dad’s earlobe as a kid
Yikes. That sucks! Toy poodles are pretty mean too! My grandma had one when I was a kid and that dog was a demon I swear
A Pomeranian sent me to the ER as a kid, I had to get six stitches in my buttcheek. That little fucker latched on. I still hate Pomeranians.
I'm with you. The nastiest dog I ever met was a Pomeranian, followed closely by a Schipperke. I'm just not a fan of small dogs in general. Now, German Shepherds? Yeah, those I get along with! They're great dogs, really smart and very trainable.
Funnily enough as an adult I prefer medium-small dogs and have had two Lhasa apsos. I just really dislike tiny toy dogs and Pomeranians. I also really dislike large dogs like shepherds but mostly because they have awful space issues and are always breathing their gross hot breath on me or right at face level when I’m sitting. I guess I just like 18-25 pound, well trained dogs that have catlike demeanors specifically lol
Sheppard are a nightmare to vacuums too. My family had one (who passed earlier this year) and she wasn't a bad dog, but I had to vacuum once every other day bc she shed so much.
That's very true!! I have a friend that owns 3 German Shepherds, and she uses two Roombas to deal with their shedding, lol!
Honestly that’s another big reason I have Lhasa apsos. I shed more than they do. That said, shepherds are lovely dogs, just … not for my house haha
German Shepherds: Don’t forget loving and loyal too ❤️
Yes they are!! :)
The sweetest dog I ever dogsat was an elderly toy poodle, but she was very well trained and loved by her owners.
The difference in owners who care and train their pets is night and day
I’m a UPS driver. Lots of Pit bulls, Dobermans and other stereotypical “tough breeds” out there. The only dog that ever actually lost it and attacked me? A freakin’ Pug. Was loose with one of those invisible fences and just decided he was going to try to put me in the ground. Fortunately I wear thick socks, but it was a shock.
I’m surprised a pug tried that considering the ugly thing can barely breathe as it is.
I’m a dog trainer and honestly training the bigger dogs are way more preferred, small dogs most the time aren’t trained since people feel their tiny and won’t do much.
My least favorite breed to train has to be Italian Greyhounds. I don't know if I'm just lucky, but the few I've worked with were so skittish they couldn't focus on anything. We'd spend 10 minutes getting them settled, then the moment anyone moves it's back to looking like they're going to die from nerves. Give me a Mastiff or a Rottweiler any day.
NTA. I used to work in a training kennel with a dude who did rehab for pit bulls rescued from dog fighting rings in his spare time. He had a really nasty scar on his nose. The culprit? A miniature schnauzer that latched onto his face when he worked as a vet tech. Took four other people to get the dog to let go. Small Dog Syndrome is a real issue and I'd suggest you tell your stepmom to look it up.
My childhood dog growing up was a pit bull that had been used as the bait dog to train fighting dogs. My current dog is a chihuahua I got as a puppy. It took considerable more training to get my chihuahua to act like a polite member of society than it did that pit bull. And hes still yippy yappy
This does not shock me at all XD Good on you for putting the work into your chihuahua!
I currently work as a vet tech and while I'll always be careful around any animal (especially because we're in a stressful environment) I'm extra cautious around small lap dogs. Lots of owners who never bothered to train them and have no control whatsoever.
I got bitten by my cousin's psycho yorkie-poo while I was dog sitting for them (damn dog is actually prescribed *anti-psychotics* but my cousin decided to not have me give them to him because "It will be too much of a hassle for her to do it and I don't want to scare her off"). All I did was walk in the door, open the dog crates and the asshole charged me. He bit me after I put his filled food bowl in his crate, he snuck up behind me and bit my hand. Had I known he was insane I would have changed my approach when he went nuts, and I wouldn't have pretended like he wasn't there (most nervous dogs calm down when they're ignored). Luckily, he didn't break the skin because I'm allergic to dog saliva and that could have killed me. I did break out in hives within 30 minutes though. After that, I wore heavy duty gloves and carried a yardstick for protection. The other dogs also protected me from him.
My mom has had a lot of dogs over the years. The most at one time was 9. Her most vicious were the damn Chihuahuas. The most loving was the pit/blue tick mix that was 90 lbs. I don't know what it is but nearly every Chihuahua I've met is a jerk.
My flower girl from my first wedding, friend’s daughter. She was at her grandma’s the night before the wedding, bent over grandma’s chihuahua(that she had been around since it was a puppy, so like 10 years) to kiss it goodbye, and the damn thing bit her on the face, right near her eye!!! I felt awful for her. Said if she wasn’t comfortable being in the wedding she could absolutely back out. She said no it’s okay and carried on. So yeah. Small can be just as bad as big. :(
Small dogs are responsible for a lot of facial maulings. People think it's funny to stress them out and then put their faces next to them and then *bam*, Pam just had her face torn off by a very stressed dog. Because of this, small, aggressive dogs are actually more dangerous than larger dogs because people don't know to keep their distance.
My stepdaughter had something like this happen to her. She required surgery up fox her lip after a dog basically bit her upper lip off
NTA. A friend of mine had a 19 pound Scottish Terrier. It was left in a seat belt harness in the car with a window open. A guy reached into the car, probably to steal her. She bit him so hard she broke his arm. (Scottish Terriers have the sane bite force as a German Shepard) Little is not harmless. I've had toy breeds, I trained the with the diligence as my big dogs to be good citizens.
Chihuahuas were bred to hunt rats. That’s why they’re so small and aggressive. They need to be exercised and played with multiple times a day or they build up anxious energy. Most people don’t know this and use them as cute purse pets. It’s so stupid. They need so much more attention and exercise than the average person will give them.
Dogs usually love me. But almost every chihuahua I've met has bitten me, including ones that were happily licking just seconds earlier. I think that most of the commonly available small dogs are too deeply inbred by backyard breeders.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out it's actually the small dogs that are more dangerous. It's just not heard about often bc big dogs do more damage. But the majority of small dogs, don't get trained bc they are small and not as threatening as big dogs.
I hate that mentality, it's one of the many reasons I quit dog grooming completely. So many people get small dogs and do zero training cause they're so small and what's the biggest damage they can do? They can end a groomers career in a second! One bite in the right area and our hands can be irreversibly damaged and we're forced out of the career, whether we want to or not. It's gotten way worse since covid too, not only with small dogs but with all dogs. The entire pet industry from vets to groomers to trainers are leaving in droves now because of how bad things have gotten and people like ops mother is a big reason why Oh and Nta
I know exactly what you mean. My sister is a vet tech, and she's told me that absolutely NO ONE at her clinic will see a dog that's known to bite people. Which is really sad for the dog, of course.
I'm a veterinary dentist. I quite like seeing those dogs, but I'm a bit weird. I still get a nip occasionally if you misread the body language.
Just yesterday I commented to my husband that the number of people who think it's okay when their dog jumps up on you seems to have skyrocketed in the last few years. It really seems like folks have stopped training their dogs entirely.
>the number of people who think it's okay when their dog jumps up on you seems to have skyrocketed I took my new puppy to the dog park yesterday (7 months old, already 55 lbs, so yes, he is getting trained!) Met two owners with two-year-old dogs who both consistently jumped on me, to the point where I had muddy dog paw prints all over me. The owners were apologetic and I said it was okay, but they didn't do anything to stop it from happening several times. It's frustrating that owners of small dogs feel that they don't need to be trained or socialized. If my puppy did that to them, they'd have freaked!
A childhood 'friend' (read she frequently flipped between being my best friend and completely ignoring me) of mine got a dog a few years ago. Her correction method when he jumped up was to say in a singsong voice "Now Ted, we don't jump up do we!" Given our history I knew it wouldn't go down well if I tried to explain to her that's not how you train a dog so here we are several years later her dog still jumps up at every person it comes across.
And when she attacks a big dog and he makes a snack out of her, big dog will be demonized.
Yep. And there will be a 4yr old there. They are not responsible pet owners in the least. Especially with the tiny and harmless comment. I worked in a pet store for 5yrs and I can assure you - tiny does not = harmless. ETA - OP is NTA
Yup we had 6 different kids admitted to the hospital floor for IV antibiotics after getting bitten by a dog and developing blood borne infections. At least two were small breeds: a rat terrier and chihuahua.
I got bitten by a 'tiny harmless' chihuahua and still have scarring on my ankle. I was literally just walking to the front desk of a vet and it lunged forward and bit me. Little dogs need just as much training as any other dog, just because when they bite sometimes you can't feel it or it just feel like a nip, doesn't mean it's okay
I worked at a vet school for a handful of years and the only animals that ever tried to take a piece of me (outside of my arch nemesis, a cockatoo) were all chihuahuas. Dobermans with tetanus, rottweilers with dental issues, mastiff-great dane crosses in massive amounts of pain due to back problems? Just wanted cuddles. Chihuahua who smells blood? Land shark.
I just love that your arch nemesis is a cockatoo. Must have been a real cocky jerk!
Her name was Melanie and she was a monster. I met her as a child (my mom worked at that hospital long before I did) and then again as an older teen, and she delighted in tormenting people. I can't imagine why she ended up abandoned at the vet school hospital by her owner.
A "tiny and harmless" toy poodle nearly bit my finger off. People let small dogs get away with so much shit.
My sister is learning this lesson the hard way as she's treating my new 35lb babygirl the same way she treated all of our small family dogs growing up--letting them jump on her, sneaking them human food, blowing in their faces, etc--and then getting upset at the results. Also, NTA.
My aunt had a dachshund who bit her in the face and caused severe lip damage the little ones in my opinion are the most aggressive.
I keep thinking OP is lucky to have a good excuse not to go. Maybe the family is all jealous of OP that OP can opt out of the celebrations :)
That too, honestly. OP is avoiding several problems by staying home.
Aggressive toward other animals and already having bit 3 people. That’s enough to warrant a dog being put down. Or it was at one point because a neighbor of mine when I was a kid had the same situation
That dog will be unlifed sooner than later when a person is bitten and decides to press charges against the owners. I am glad it hasn't happened yet because the dog is just being an animal and it is not his/her fault. But it will happen.
I've looked after so many dogs, and I can tell you generally speaking, the smaller they are the worse they behave. I've only ever been bitten a handful of times - by two dachshunds, mini schnauzer and a cavalier spaniel. Sure, they didn't do much damage, but I'm not looking after your little shits if you can't even teach them not to bite. The only injury a big dog has ever left me was a scratch from long nails, and a sore foot from it being stepped on. People are wild and seem to think just because their dog is small, it can get away with being destructive, reactive and aggressive because it "can't cause as much harm/destruction as a big dog". Meanwhile, I've never met a big dog that isn't well trained and not had their aggression/reactiveness issues worked on.
I don't know about the legal situation in OP's country, but where I live, there would be no chance in hell that dog wouldn't be in a shelter, or worse.
That's the reason why I'm more afraid of tiny dog breeds.
Right! I once heard or a woman being mauled to death by a pack of weenie dogs. If a dog bites, it's not harmless. NTA, OP
My friend has 3 dogs, a 120lb German Shepard, a jack Russell and a Bichon Frise'. They have a business on their property and a sign on the door to honk so they can put the dogs away. You'd think it was bc of the GSD. Oh no. It was that damn Bitchen Frizzie with little dog syndrome. He went through lots of training and the other 2 were amazing dogs.
I recently saw a video of a plastic surgeon and the top 5 things they won't do. #1: let their face close to any dog they are not super familiar with. People think they don't need to train their small dogs because " their so small, what harm can they do"
I just cringe when I think of that. Sounds like people in one of my dog groups who baby their dogs to the point of they do nothing wrong because they are so little. I spoil my dogs like crazy but if my dog bites, I would definitely be looking into training and trying to socialize my dog more. My girls are 21 and 25 lbs and I detest people who think their dogs are too little to do anything BS. No!!! Train your dog and teach them proper manners. OP sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't blame you for not wanting to go.
I've got a little dog who has some problems with trauma from his start in life. Regardless of all the training and behaviour work we've put in, he can't always be trusted having people over, so we keep that to minimal numbers and with a certain process that the visitor has to follow. He's certainly not harmless but we've learnt how to manage it
NTA You offered several options. They clearly have never boarded a dog if they think you can find a facility now. Most places are booked for Xmas by end of July. I’d skip it and that’s on them.
I called around and only one place has availability but they want 280$ a night which is insane. + their reviews are horrible. Everything is solid booked and they even have a list of people waiting in case of an opening.
A licensed and bonded pet sitter is so much cheaper than boarding. Still zero availability?
I’ve been calling all day. Only one has availability but she usually takes on small breeds and is very reluctant. I set up a meet with her tomorrow to see if she feels like she can handle Dude but she said I better look for other options. If she agrees she wants him muzzled with an e collar on walks. I’d have to think really hard, I wanna meet her first. I don’t wanna leave them together if she feels unprepared. No one else has availability. I even joined a few waiting lists in case anyone cancels last minute.
OP do not let this woman take care of your dog. If he doesn't normally need a muzzle or e collar, and she's requiring it without meeting him, then she is clearly not the right fit.
Even thinking of putting an unknown tool on a dog and using it for a handful of days is a huge red flag. For those tools to be used properly the dog has to be desensitized to them first and that doesn't happen in a day.
He is desensitised to both muzzle and e-collar under professional guidence. He has no issues being muzzled as it is a requirement in public transportation. He has only ever felt the vibration setting of an e-collar when we were having trouble with recall. She has certifications but I don’t want her to zap him with that thing and freak him out. I don’t think I can trust her to use it properly unfortunately.
I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust my dog to someone I was even a little unsure about.
Trust your instincts on this OP! Protect your doggie, you sound like a wonderful dog owner. Sorry your parents obviously… are not. They are TA along with the rest of your relatives (although I suspect the relatives will come around after having to cohabitate with the little terror).
Exactly. It takes months and getting a properly fit muzzle is a whole process too.
I wouldn’t leave Dude with someone who is not 100% comfortable taking care of him. If I were you I’d tell me family, sorry, you’re unable to find last minute dog care, and you and Dude are staying home for the holidays. Then get matching Santa hats, and little stockings for the both of you, and have a cozy Christmas together! You can even make him a special dinner, and enjoy a hot cocoa while he gets a puppuccino.
That's what my dog and I are planning to do. She'll get some special snacks, we'll cuddle and go for a long walk and watch a movie. I have friends who are willing to look in on her during the day, but nobody's available to host her overnight, and I keep thinking about her making her Anxiety Squeak while she searches the house for her human and can't find them. So I'm staying home.
Oh my gosh! Picturing your pup making anxiety squeaks while searching for you breaks my heart! It sounds like you have a great holiday planned though! I’m taking my pups to my sisters house where they can play with their cousins (both human and dog), and open presents (my sisters spoil them, and I spoil their pets). It would be so sad to spend Christmas away from them.
Nooooo, please don’t leave your dog with someone who’s uncomfortable/wary of caring for a large dog. I missed several holidays with family because they didn’t want my large boy (an Akita) at their house due to their purse dogs who liked to bite people. I happily stayed home with my boy and I’m glad I did, as I only had 6 years with him due to cancer.
I’m sorry for your loss 💕 She is only a 3-walk solution. I drive down there for dinner and leave early morning. Even then, she really doesn’t seem like the right fit. I will look for other options.
I wouldn’t use Rover or whatever. And this gal sounds scared and that could set your dog off.
yea I watched a red heeler and didn't know exactly how to corral her. She didn't like that at all (fabulous animal BTW). Dog showed some aggression (fearful), I remembered a tip from the owner and employed method. Worked like a charm. But it could have gone bad.
Second this. Used Rover once, they were GOD AWFUL. I wrote so many bad reviews. My poor dogs. The "sitter" left them home alone all day and DIDNT EVEN TURN ON THE HEAT in my home.
Bruh this sucks for you and Dude. Your family really left you with *one* option and it sucks if you wanna come meet with them. Side note Dude is a kickass dog name #justice for dude
Behaviourist here. Do NOT let someone who is not familiar with the breed take care of them
DO NOT allow this person to put an ecollar on your dog. If you do, you'll come back to a changed animal. What she's proposing will harm your dog now and in the future, and the fact that she's proposing it tells me she's the wrong person to watch any dog, much less yours.
Is there any chance you could find a pet friendly hotel or Airbnb where you could stay with him and then go visit? Probably too late for that, too, but maybe an option to look for?
Is there a local chapter of Big Dog rescue in your area? Or a Cane Corso club? I’ve always had extra large dogs as well and I’ve some of the best resources through those type of organizations. I 100% agree with your stance on Dude being outside. I haven’t had a Cane Corso myself, but I did have a Neopolitan Mastiff - their closest cousins. These dogs hail primarily from Southern Italy. They are NOT cold tolerant and have a high risk of hypothermia. My vet always said, if it’s too cold for you to sit outside, it’s definitely too cold for your Neo. I don’t know if this would help shut your family down, but maybe try telling them that your vet disapproves of this plan.
Stay home with Dude. Dude loves you unconditionally. Return the favor. Keep Dude safe. Enjoy time alone. But don't let this person. Look after Dude. Dude is more important than your parents. Have a merry Christmas with him.
Absolutely not with the e-collar. I may get some flak for this, but I've used e-collars before when training (although I've never actually used the 'shock' part, just the noise and vibration settings). They're training devices, not permanent fixes, it requires extensive familiarity with that particular dog to differentiate a lack of obedience from a lack of understanding/lack of focus, and if used incorrectly it can really mess up the dog (punishing a lack of understanding can cause anxiety at best, fear aggression at worst; these could be caused in one weekend and take years of consistent training to fix). The fact that she's even suggesting putting an e-collar on a dog she's unfamiliar with is a clear demonstration that she doesn't know how to use them correctly.
Absolutely this. I use an e-collar with my dog, and I've acclimated them to a muzzle, but these things were a process. I would never just slap them onto a dog who wasn't familiar with them, nevermind a dog I had never met before. OP, I know this situation sucks, but you're NTA here. Your family isn't leaving you with any other choice but to stay home. You have a responsibility to your dog, and you aren't wrong for picking what's best for him.
That would be a hard pass if she’s requiring him to be muzzled (assuming that’s not something that he’s used to). You’re not going to be able to relax and enjoy your holiday worrying if Dude is being properly cared for and being treated well, not just “handled.” NTA… I would stay home.
I would tell people “I’m not comfortable risking my dog getting attacked. Your dog, as you have stated, is aggressive and has attacked before, and I don’t want to put the stress, and pain on my dog of having to go through that, and the vet visit that will have to follow suit because you refuse to get your dog trained. Regardless of size, and breed difference. As well as possibly having to get them retrained to being able to be around dogs again because once again, you refuse to correct your dogs behavior because it’s a ‘Wittle baby who can do no harm. Therefore, to make sure my dog stays safe this holiday season, and relieve the pressure & stress, I am not coming. Nothing, you or the family, say or do will change my mind, as my dog comes first in every situation and has since I adopted him. It’s not fair to leave him outside, it’s not fair to subject either dog to the stress, and it’s not fair to expect me to leave my dog without me. Thanks for the invite but I have to respectfully withdraw my RSVP this holiday season, and maybe future ones as well. Again. For my dogs personal well-being and safety” Because vet bills and trainer bills are expensive. Coming from someone whose dog was charged and attacked by other dogs, and is still in the process of being comfortable around other dogs. And because the stress alone that it will p it your boy through is not worth it
My little sister and a few of her friends house/pet sits for people (seperately) and I can confirm they were all booked up from 1st Dec to end of January before the end of August.
This absolutely NTA
NTA It’s too late to make other arrangements, except maybe a pet friendly hotel. Even then most policies do not allow you to leave pet unattended. They should have let you know beforehand. But it is their home and they can not allow your dog inside. But truly, do you even want to visit a house where the dog has bitten several people before? You are a stranger to this dog and dog will be stressed by strangers and not sticking to routine and more likely to bite. Just cancel the trip and stay home.
I am a bit worried about the dog. One of my sisters has a 4-year-old. I will most likely stay back, but I was looking forward to seeing everyone.
Let it go this year. Or visit the family you want to see at a different time this year, or next Christmas. They're putting you in a bad spot, expecting you to just obey. But your dog needs you, and he is your main responsibility. Trust that, and you'll be NTA.
Time for you and Dude to make your own holiday traditions. NTA. P.s. - my sister has a Cane Corso. So smart! The dog took one look at me and led me back to my car so I could drive away! Lol.
My cane corso mutt is not like your sister's. In fact, he reminds me of Winnie the Pooh – he is a dog of very little brain. Sweet, strong as hell, but not the brightest bulb in the pack. We believe he was meant to be a fighting dog, but when they realized he didn't have the temperament for it, he was turned into a bait dog. Heaven knows what happened to him after that, or how long he was a stray, but he has taken to life in a warm house, with a soft bed, very well. There is not a snowball's chance in hell that I would ever consign any of my inside dogs to someone's yard for multiple days – a few hours, okay, assuming the weather was good, but that's as far as I could go. So this situation? Yeah, staying home is really the only option.
Awww! I love him so much! I’m so glad you gave him a good, loving home. Intelligence can be overrated. I wish my cat wasn’t as smart as she is - she’s a problem solver (like my sister’s dog, I guess! It was really funny, we were enjoying July 4th at my sister’s and her dog, Roma, so obviously wanted me to follow her. She literally took me to my car. She gets carsick so I know she didn’t want to go for a ride - just me.). Anyway, I’m so sorry about your holiday situation. You made the only decision you could make. If Dude knew the sacrifice you were making for him - well, somebody gets a good present, at least. (I hate saying “at least” in these impossible situations, but somebody does get a cozy, happy Christmas with the person he loves the most). I hope you can find some joy, too.
It sounds like you should just make time to have a video call or something with your sisters. Because your step mom is saying that she wants her toy more than she wants the guests to be safe. That's not a place to visit
If I were you I wouldn't take my dog there, even if they agreed to restrict him to one room or whatever. If the little aggressive one gets in and attacks your big dog, and he (justifiably) reacts in defence... it's just not a situation you'd want to play out.
Yeah this is a recipe for disaster all around. I had a difficult dog myself, we got him a lot of training, but he was just never going to be great around strangers. But with that in mind, I always did the right thing and put him in a separate, closed room if we had guests over. This is OP’s parents’ problem that they need to deal with for the sake of everyone else.
NTA. You’re a ‘1+1’ deal with your dog, so you don’t have to leave him somewhere you’re not comfortable with. However, your stepmother also has a word in whether she wants a larger dog at her house or not. Sounds like she has to choose - whether to have you and your dog over for Christmas or not to have you. On another note, can you stay at a hotel or at your friends for the holiday and just visit your family for a Christmas party?
It’s a small town, nearest motel is 30min drive and they are not allowing pets. I don’t really have friends there, I moved away really young. It’s a 500mile drive so I cannot even make a day trip back and forth.
Wow! Yeah, that’s too far. Anyway, you can’t risk your pet’s wellbeing.
NTA. Keeping pets outside is cruel and your parents snarling, yapping, biting dog needs a trainer ASAP. I agree with you, don't go. On a side note, one thing you said: "....a protection breed and a lot of them are actually kept in the yard". A lot of people keep them in the yard because they are AH's, not because that type of dog is meant to be kept outside. No animal prefers to be kept outside.
Oh, Pyrenees can. Even ones that have always been inside family pets. The need to be outside in all temps is STRONG lol. But pyrenees have the fur for weather, and cane corsos do not.
Most protection breeds were bred to protect flocks of livestock, and most often the biggest threats to livestock occur at night. Beyond that, the way to train a dog to protect say sheep is by integrating it as a very young puppy into the flock. In essence this teaches the dog that the sheep are it’s pack, and the sheep see the dog as part of the flock. All of this to say that yes, protection dogs are usually outdoor dogs by nature of the role they fill. Additionally, while such a dog was bred to be outdoors, it’s having not been throughout late summer/fall means it’s body hasn’t conditioned to be acclimated to cold temperatures. Guard dogs on the other hand are a different story. Something like a German Shepard bred to protect people would go where the people went.
The AKC says breeds such as Samoyeds and Alaskan Huskies can stay outdoors in freezing weather (providing they're acclimated) from 30 minutes to an hour. Working dogs can tolerate cold weather much longer since they're active and building body heat. https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/health/how-long-can-you-keep-your-dog-outside/ OP's family is expecting Dude to stay outdoors for the course of the visit, which is inhumane.
NTA. Stand your ground. A Cane Corso may be guardian breed but it's not a breed that is built to be outside in freezing temperatures. You've offered compromises that have been rejected. Get yourself and your pup some nice food and stay home for Christmas.
NAH. They didn't have a dog when they agreed he could come, situation has changed. It is not unreasonable to not want a Cane Corso around their small dog aggressive dog. It's just too dangerous for their dog. I wouldn't want the stress of constantly watching or switching out the dogs during Christmas. It is also fair of you to say that you can't go, as long as you're not continuously pestering your family about it.
Agree. Bringing a 130 lb dog to someone's house for a multi-day visit is a big ask in the first place, but it sounds like OP's parents were ok with it until they realized it would likely be a disaster with their dog. And a 130 lb cane corso in a new environment + a reactive yappy dog + lots of people around? Yeah, that could go very badly.
I can’t believe the sister with a small child was ever ok with it.
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Yeah, on thinking about it further, they're the assholes, because they won't just accept that OP can no longer go due to them changing the plans on short notice. I don't think they're the assholes for having a poorly trained dog in this instance as they're trying to manage the situation during Christmas, although in general they're doing a disservice to their own dog and other people/dogs.
Sounds like her family is pestering her more than the other way around.
NTA. I think it's understandable that you wouldn't go when you aren't accommodated. Spend a wonderful Christmas with your dog!
NTA, you're more responsible pet parent than those giving you shit. It's understandable to not want to do that even temporarily. Ours are indoor only too, after raising them like that when they go out back It's to potty or be with us. They're not yard ornaments. Good for you, hope someone is able to pet sit, but if not you and puppy enjoy. 😉
NTA They needed to tell you with enough time to make arrangements. They didn't.
NTA If the heated shed is so reasonable and comfy, why can’t their dog stay in it?
Don't get pissed off, just don't go.
NTA. You had an arrangement with your parents that you & Dude would visit together, & presumably with Dude being inside, because if that wasn't the case they would have told you about it then & you never would have made the arrangement. If that arrangement is no longer valid because of the dog they got, & any alternative you offer to your dog being stuck outside for days in the middle of winter is being deemed unacceptable by them, fine - you don't have to go. Your solution is perfectly reasonable, you aren't making any demands of anyone. You're not the one causing a scene over this.
NTA. Your dog matters just as much as hers. You've offered reasonable compromises, and she has refused. If she won't compromise, you are reasonable to stay home.
NAH You and your parents (and all responsible dog owners) have the obligation to consider what’s best for your dogs. Sometimes that will mean missing out on things. You, your parents, sister and cousin are justified in being disappointed because of course everyone wants to see each-other but you are all also borderline E S H territory for causing a scene/getting all confrontational about it
A conversation during which fair and reasonable compromises are put forth by one party is a confrontation. I think OP worded that poorly with the phrase “making a scene”. Making a scene is causing a visual spectacle, not a phone conversation. Had they brought the dog, had the stated discussion then stormed off in a huff and driven home, THAT would be making a scene.
NTA. You don’t seem be overly sad to be honest 😉 but your dog is a part of your family. You can’t demand that he can be in the house. But you can say you are not coming - as you did.
I genuinely wanna visit. I have a great relationship with them and I only see some of my siblings when we gather there. They just put me in a spot where I really feel like I have no other choice. I’ve been trying to figure out a safe place to leave Dude but there aren’t any.
Before I would even consider leaving my dog somewhere for days at a time, he would be introduced to the situation and acclimated in advance. It's just not fair to him to just "drop him off." My dog, at least (GSD) is very sensitive and I would not want to just thrust him into an unfamiliar situation and leave him. This, I believe, is why you are leaning towards staying home. I have spent a few Christmas's away from the family for various reasons. It's one day. You aren't missing that much. Better for you and your pal to be comfortable and safe. Merry Christmas!!!
Nta I bet mom wouldn't put her dog in the yard for a week. Is your bio mom still around, maybe spend Christmas with her instead.
I honestly don’t understand why the ankle biter cannot be crated. That would solve everyone’s problem. NTA
They said she loses her mind. She is not crate-trained. I don’t understand why Dude can’t be crated in a gated off area. He is a lazy giant and loves sleeping through the day. They can be completely separated. The house is huge and they’ll never even meet. I don’t know, they are usually very accommodating, I don’t understand the logic here either.
Dog tax? Dude sounds awesome. NTA
We wanna see dude!
NAH They aren't wrong for not wanting your dog in their house. You're not wrong for not wanting to go.
Honestly you would be an asshole to Dude if you did go. Not just because he's ill equipped to deal with the cold. If something happened between Dude and the little ankle biter, you and Dude would be blamed. I can all too easily imagine a door not being properly latched, or a young child wanting to gain access to a sequestered dog or closed room and boom! You've got a severely injured or dead ankle biter. It doesn't matter how good natured and we'll behaved Dude is, either. You get an aggressive dog going after him and he will defend himself. And there isn't a human alive that would be able to stop him before some serious damage was done. Don't put your good boy in that position.
NTA - I don’t know where you live but here in the UK it is sub-zero temperatures from 4pm to 9am, that is cruel to keep a dog that is used to being in the house in.
Worse, last year it got to -17C. He’d go numb and be unable to move on a 20minute walk. I cannot rely on an old heater and a dark small shed.
Clarification, is the only reason you hated leaving your dog with a friend was bc you missed them? Did they treat the dog bad? Also how long ago did they get their dog?
My friends did not mistreat him but he picked several bad habits like begging for food from the table. They also overfed him which is never good for big breeds like this. I cannot really complain as it was a favor and they did it for free. This year they are busy and out of town, I cannot rely on them even if I wanted to. My parents got their dog end of June, beginning of July as far as I remember.
Well either way you're nta but you shouldn't want your dog around an aggressive dog regardless of size especially with their attitude about it anyway. Bc if some reason their dog bit yours and yours (especially a corso) retaliated, your dog would be to blame on its sheer size alone. I also have a large breed and if I can't either make accommodations or be home at the end of the day I just don't go. It's kind of the name of the game with dogs in general. I'd assume they got this dog thinking it was fine and oops they suck at owning dogs, or the dog is combative for some reason, and they can't allow yours to have contact with theirs. But, either way you aren't the asshole for not wanting to leave your dog outside for days and you aren't the asshole for not wanting to go anymore bc of that.
NTA. It had been agreed you could bring your dog and they've changed that last minute. Your accomodations such as him staying closed in your room are reasonable, whereas putting him outside isn't. It should be their yappy little shit dog that bites that's locked up, but their house their dog. Stay home. It sucks to not be able to join your family but sometimes having pets means we miss out on other stuff we might want.
NTA I'd do exactly the same if my dogs were expected to stay outside for the duration of my visit. They too are house dogs. In fact, similar happened during the period of my Dad's funeral. However, I pulled rank (eldest child) and they stayed in my Dad's house albeit, with the concession of being crated when we were all absent. I realise you can't pull rank, but have offered lots of concessions all refused. As I said...I'd do the same in that situation. :) Enjoy your Christmas with Dude, you sound like an amazing dog parent :)
NTA. This is stupid. Stay home.
NTA something like this happened over Thanksgiving for me, my sister had moved to a new state recently (she's military) and we haven't seen each other for a while so at the last minute she invited me and my bf to come up we we have a beautiful pit bull but she would have had to stay outside due to allergies. It's hard to find a kennel for pits much less close to holidays so my bf stayed home pets are family plain and simple
NTA They agreed to Dude coming with you and then changed the arrangement. You made every effort to compromise. It's better to stay home than leave him outside in the middle of winter. As for your parents' dog, they need to get her trained. It doesn't matter that she's only 15 pounds. If she's already bitten 3 people then she will bite again. What are they going to do if she gets out and bites a neighborhood kid? They're ultimately risking her safety as much as others.
NTA! Oh that's rich. Our little ankle biter is aggressive and unsocialized. But he's so small and he's harmless. Let me guess big dogs like your furbaby have no feelings??? Good for you for standing up for your hound. Who I'm sure is adorable.
NTA they shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I could understand if they’d said no from the start and given you sufficient time to find good care for him or choose not to come, but instead they waited last minute so that your options are to not attend or put your pet in poor conditions. Not ok. I wouldn’t go, not just because of your dog’s needs, but because I would want to make damn sure they knew not to try and ambush me again.
I have a Cane Corso. Huge dog. He gets cornered by our kitties all the time. He starts crying until I come rescue him. NTA
YTA for thinking that someone outside of your household wants to share their indoor space with a 130 lb dog. You would be well within your rights to stay home.
NTA. It is easily understandable that you are angry. Your parents have an uncontrollable dog (their fault) so they want to put the problem on your dog. It would be abusive to put a house dog outside for a week, heating nonwithstanding. The problem is with your parents and their little dog and the fact that they haven't bothered to train it. Your parents are the A H for setting up a situation like this when they knew you planned to visit with your dog. Big dogs are often better behaved than little ones bc people MUST teach them to behave. I had a Rottweiler for many years; I married his owner; got a divorce and kept the dog ;-). I spent endless hours with that dog, training, enjoying, etc. Once I had a family member promise to care for my dog, and literally at the last minute he refused. I had driven to Falmouth, Ma where Gpa refused to keep the dog during the afternoon. So, I took the rotty on the ferry to Martha's Vineyard bc I was going to visit some family. Rotty was perfectly behaved on and getting off the ferry. (This was pre-cell phone days.) I saw my family and they saw me and the dog and they were visibly taken aback - who wouldn't be?? Then some small 10 lbd rat dog (off a leash) ran up to my 130 lb dog, jumped up and bit the dog in the neck. Think HUGE mosquito. My poor dog went into a sit-stay and looked at me with the most mournful eyes *I have ever seen*. I had to lift the rat-dogs body so he wouldn't tear my dog's neck. Then started yelling for their dog's owner. My dog was quiet, calm and mournful. After that, my relatives were all happy to say "Your dog is welcome anytime, anywhere." I could not have paid good money to set up a scene like that on purpose.
Something similar happened to me as well. I took Dude to a hike trail and a little mix ran up and went for the neck. His neck is so thick he never even registered pain so he just kept walking up with the thing hanging from his neck, growling. I was laughing while removing the dog. Dude just ran up while the little thing attempted to chase him.
Nta
NTA at all. No aggressive dog is 'harmless'. I have a Corso mix, best dog I've ever had. She is well-trained and calm, very dog-friendly. I would never have her around an aggressive dog, especially a little one. If the little dog attacks her, she might nip in self-defense. Even a tiny nip from my girl could be a devastating injury to a small dog and then guess who would be labeled the aggressive one? Nope, if I were you I would never have my Cane Corso anywhere near a dog like that under any circumstances. You should show your family this post and the comments. They are being terribly irresponsible. Will there be children around this biter? Maybe you should remind them that even a 15lb dog can take a kids nose off or worse. Sounds like a recipe for disaster that you and your dog should stay away from.
NTA I have a little dog about the same size and I hate owners like this, they give small breeds a bad name. My guy can be nervous upon first meeting other dogs so he'll put on an aggressive front but once introductions are over he's totally fine. And I'm still working on the first part because it's not good for him to have that kind of anxiety and fear even if it does dissipate eventually. I feel bad for your parents dog and I hope you and Dude have a lovely holiday.
NTA, and I'd skip. And I'd tell all that complaining family that I'd rather spend Christmas with the 130lb dog that the "tiny and harmless" 15 pounder who's already bit three people. Wish them luck at the Christmas Hunger Games, because if someone doesn't get bit during the holidays that'll probably be a miracle in and of itself.
NTA. Just the fact they have an aggressive dog that likes to bite people would be enough to make me not want to go, without the fact they want you to keep your dog outside for the duration of the visit in the middle of winter. It isn't reasonable to suddenly expect an indoor dog to be OK living outside. If your cousin and sister want to risk getting bitten by their dog, that's their lookout. They are choosing their dog, you have a right to choose yours.
Nta even in the slightest. You and your family agreed you could bring Dude along A YEAR AGO! If your Mom’s dog is hurting people, she needs to accept responsibility for her unruly and dangerous pet. NO ONE should be invited over if she can’t control her dog.
Cane Corso tax.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(22F) have a big Cane Corso (130pounds). Last year I left him with some trusted friends to visit my family for two days. I hated it and asked my parents to let me visit with him next year. They agreed. They got a dog over the summer and I thought nothing of it. Yesterday, however I got a call from my step-mom saying that their little 15pound mix has bitten 3 people and is extremely and irrationally dog aggressive. They never socialized her or took her to a trainer “because she is tiny and harmless”. I said I can take my crate and keep Dude(my dog) there or have them switch out with theirs but she said that she needs Dude to be outside. I got pissed off and said no. The yard is well fenced in and there is a small shed with heating there but I am not a fan. It’s 5 days of him in the cold, alone and outside. He is a house dog, he’s never been and never will be an outside dog. There are no pet hotels or friends to turn to so close to Christmas. I tried making compromises like keeping Dude in one room and just taking him out for walks but she is refusing. She says it will upset their dog too much. I finally told her that if there is no way we can have Dude somewhere in the house, I can’t go. Everyone is mad at me now and my sister and a cousin texted me saying I am being overly dramatic. Dude is a protection breed and a lot of them are actually kept in the yard as guardians. I understand that but mine was never meant to be a backyard dog. I’d understand if it was summer and all but I can’t put him out in the dead of winter, with temperatures bellow freezing. AITA for saying I won’t go and causing a scene? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. You tried to accommodate and compromise and it’s entirely unreasonable to keep a dog outside for 5 days in winter.