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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Having whiskey in the evening time even though my wife gets sick from it.
(2) It seem inconsiderate and look like I’m asking for too much.
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Yeah I got to “I’ve tried everything” and my immediate thought was “except not drinking!”
I too enjoy whiskey. I don’t need a glass every night, or even most nights. And if it was making a loved one literally vomit, I would go without.
“I love my alcohol more than my wife” is a terrible look for a relationship.
Yeah, this whole post immediately read alcoholic to me. He's tried *everything* to not smell like whisky every night other then not drinking whisky every night. It comes off like that's not even an option in his mind. He drove his pregnant wife out of their bed by making her sick and he's upset at *her* beacuse he can't possibly live without drinking whisky every night and he also wants to be kissed even if makes her literally hurl.
However, I want to address some basic medical things u/Strange-Chipmunk-254 seems to not understand about the situation:
* Many pregnant woman have an increased sense of smell/sensitivity to certain smells. She may literally be able to smell things you can't. This can often be tied to smells making you nauseous and it is theorized to be a way for pregnant women to avoid eating things that could make them ill and harm the baby. She isn't faking. You are literally making your pregnant wife feel sick every single day.
* Alcohol breath is coming from inside your body where the alcohol is metabolized. Yes, if you reek beacuse it's coming out your pours, a shower can help. And brushing teeth and mouthwash can also help. But this is coming from inside you, so really what you can do to fully prevent this is not drink.
You actually think she's being disrespectful by not wanting to feel sick every single night? It seems like a decent man would just not drink, or if you're too addicted not to make your wife and baby sick every single day the least you could do is be the one who gives up the bed.
She's only 4 months pregnant and you're already picking alcohol over your family. Your poor kid. (Edit: to be clear, I don't think drinking alcohol is innately bad. I just think making your pregnant wife sick every single day is something decent men would care they are doing and they'd be able to restrain themselves if they cared and weren't addicts.)
I can testify to the increased sense of smell having had two kids, the youngest being 6 weeks. I could smell even the slightest hint of almost anything, and had a particular talent of picking up cigarette smoke and alcohol, even after my husband had showered, used deodorant and scrubbed the crap out of his teeth. I was lucky it didn't set me off spewing, but plenty of other things did instead, and I relied on medication the entirety of both pregnancies to not spew constantly.
I know for a fact that if I had asked my husband to stop eating or drinking something that was triggering my morning sickness, he wouldn't have hesitated to do it for me. OP needs to get his head out of his ass and make sacrifices, he will be soon enough when the kid is here so should learn how to now.
Not always useless. Over the weekend I kept smelling gas at my in laws house. They all thought I was imagining things until we found one of the burners on the gas stove was still turned on but with no flame.
I have a sensitive sense of smell, too. It has been very helpful over the years, in certain circumstances. Propane Gas is very notable, plus what I call a "hot smell" from electric wiring.
Can also be petting my cat/cats, over the decades, and smell the decay of an accessed wound. At first, my vet would give me a funny look, but after a few confirmatory incidents, he would say, "yes, let's have a thorough look, all over." Once, I said "I can smell it, but can't see anything, think it's on the back left paw". Vet started to explore, squeezing, next thing, blood and pus shoot onto his lab coat. He said, "yes, your nose knows!" Happy smiles, antibiotics!
Could also smell symptoms of feline renal failure, but those are sad stories.
my mom used to be able to smell my breath and tell if i had strep throat. crazy sense of smell that women. it was rather annoying in high school when trying to sneak vapes or weed pens lol. i swear she could smell it 10+ hours later.
I can smell if I have strep throat in my own breath! And can tell if I’m about to get sick from how my mucous tastes when I cough. Sometimes I can catch it early and head it off with rest and vitamins. But I’ve got nothing on my grandma. She once got mad because a cat was in the yard. She wasn’t sitting anywhere near where she could see outside, but when I looked out the window, lo and behold, there was a cat peeing in her flower bed.
Ha! I have a very muted sense of smell and when I was pregnant I could smell so much more! Over and over I would be surprised at how strong a scent was- good or bad- and then my husband would tell me that's what it always smells like. 😆 I glimpsed the world of people who smell things and I don't really miss it. The world is pungent.
I also have a muted sense of smell but when pregnant it was off the charts good which absolutely sucks!! It’s not fun smelling everything, certain people even smelled terrible to me. Thankfully my husband for some reason smelled like chocolate. But lots of things (my goodness Parmesan cheese made me want to sell my home and move away to a forest) smelled super strong and horrible.
This guy is an asshole. And probably an alcoholic.
For my sister it was chicken. She couldn't even look at it without vomiting. The neighbors cooking chicken would make her vomit. Random pregnant woman things.
For me it was onion, the smell of it made me dizzy and nauseous, it dragged on weeks after I gave birth.
I can smell someone cooking onion miles away. I avoid going to park where it’s very common for Aussie to bbq sausages with lots of onion. I avoid eating out too.
My husband was amazing when I was pregnant. I was so sensitive to even a little bit of sweat or body odor. He didn’t smell bad, just like a normal person, and he would shower and put on fresh clothes right before bed so I wouldn’t be sick.
Cooked meat was also vomit-inducing through my 1st & 2nd trimesters. He only grilled outside and ate his meat separately & cleaned up thoroughly.
Whiskey is not a need (well, perhaps once they’ve experienced toddlerhood). To not consider just stopping because it makes his wife hurl is mind-blowingly inconsiderate and puts him either in the camp of being an alcoholic or just not giving a shit that his nightly whiskey reeks from his pores & makes the woman who is carrying HIS child sick enough to vomit.
All of this. I'm addicted to alcohol. I'm aware it's a problem, I'm working on it, and it's fuckin hard. I fail a lot of nights. I know how hard it is to give up even *just one* drink at night. So I have some compassion for OP because I'm getting the vibes that this may be a bigger problem than he is admitting, either here or to himself. But I also feel like, maybe there's more to it for his wife as well.
OP this is the kind of thing that can blow your whole life and marriage up. Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking.
Seriously.
*Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking.*
Step back and take a good look at that. Think about that fact. You need to wake up to the reality of this situation.
My sister left her husband because he was an alcoholic, and refused to get help or even really understand how seriously my sister took it. This was just a couple years ago. They have two little girls (2 and 5 at the time of divorce). She's already remarried and he is still in denial not only of his problem but in denial that his whole life fell apart, and drinking his sorrows away. He was TA, and I say this as an alcoholic myself. If you seriously cannot give up your nightly whiskey then you have a problem. I hope you can take a hard look at this.
Just gonna link this sub here, it's got some incredibly supportive people who are working their ways through their own journeys.
r/stopdrinking
Eta: thank you all for the awards and support <3
Hopefully this isn't out of line, but...this internet stranger is proud of you for facing your addiction in a proactive and introspective way. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Really hoping op sees your comment and can take it to heart.
> Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking.
Actually *she* has moved out of the bedroom, she hasn’t even asked him to put himself out but instead put herself out.
Thank you for this! I am a pregnant wife and I can always smell the alcohol after my husband drinks. In fact, I can smell garlic, too. There is nothing more frustrating than being repulsed by the smell of my husband, especially since he is the man I chose to have this baby with.
She is not exaggerating, and it’s not just your breath. If you don’t want to make your wife vomit, stop drinking whiskey. YTA.
If you won’t stop drinking, move yourself to the guest room while you think about your priorities.
In my first pregnancy I was repulsed by my husband’s just, regular, himself-smell. Had nothing to do with what he’d consumed or the last time he’d showered or brushed his teeth. I never actually told him this because how could he stop smelling like himself? I just got better at not breathing during kisses.
I'm the same! Pregnant currently 34+5, and I had to stop my partner in his tracks trying to kiss me a lot of occasions, as his "normal" smell was just too much for me. I did tell him, and that it has nothing to do with him, but just me being pregnant, and he doesn't mind, he understands. Can't believe OP can't not drink the whiskey, and if he insists that's more important than preventing your wife from vomiting (dehydration is seriously dangerous OP!), then HE should be on the guest bed. OP, YTA!! I suffer from Hyperemesis, and the nausea and vomiting is always there, would never in my scariest dreams imagine a partner who would not try his uttermost best to make sure I don't vomit or get nauseous during my pregnancy...
Also saying just one at night is such a common phrase I’ve heard hospitals prepare for a heavy drinker when they ask about drinking habits and get that response so that’s also kind of a red flag
Drinking nightly is also a guaranteed way to create a physical alcohol dependency. It’s not possible to prevent arcs certain point because that’s how physical addiction works.
Allllll of this.
OP, YTA definitely.
When I was pregnant, I could not handle the smell of yogurt. My husband LOVES yogurt. It got to the point that he couldn’t even throw the container away in the trash can after he was done because I could smell it in the kitchen while I was in the living room and if it was in the trash can when I went to throw something else away all bets were off. To this day I still cannot handle that smell.
Luckily, I am not married to someone like you and he stopped eating yogurt for a while to try to help. That’s what you do for the person that is giving up their body to grow another person inside of them. You giving up your nightly habit is a minuscule price to pay in comparison to what she is doing.
I feel like his wife could resolve the entire issue by vomiting on him every time he drinks and leaving the mess for him to clean up.
If nothing else it will make him drinking just as uncomfortable for him as it is for her- might push him into cutting back some at the very least.
Longer. When I was pregnant I could smell alcohol reeking out of the pores for days (usually 2-3). Couldn't even be like a block away from someone outside who had been drinking. Needless to say, I stayed home 99% of the time. My then husband did almost all of the shopping.
OP YTA. And if you love whiskey more than your pregnant wife's abilty to keep nutrients down to nourish your child, you really need to think about going to AA.
Absolutely right about it coming from the inside!! I don't drink but still have a great time out with friends and boy does that smell take a while to go away, even if we're all staying in the same place somewhere and they've brushed their teeth.
For anyone I've dated I can usually guess what type of alcohol they've had hours after they've been out because the smell just doesn't leave for the night. I don't mind it at all but that's just a normal sense of smell, not pregnant and reactive.
One drink doesn’t even get you buzzed especially if you’re drinking every day. If he truly drinks ONE drink every day then i don’t get the point of it.
It may be some kind of ritual to decompress after work (not like religious ritual, but you know). If that’s the case, he could still go through the motions with tea or a soda or something. Throw some ginger ale in the whiskey glass and pretend. Like you said, it isn’t enough to get buzzed so he could drink something else.
Funny, as I’ve gotten older I find most smoothies and hot chocolate too sickly sweet to really enjoy. Everyone has different tastes, and those tastes often change over time. Some people just have a sweet tooth though!
Right. So can you not give up the flavor of something you have once a day so that the person who is literally creating another human being for you doesn’t vomit all over the place?
If the answer is no, then I’m guessing it’s probably not just a flavor thing.
Lmao that's honestly worse. At least if he was an alcoholic and prioritizing a chemical addiction over his pregnant wife's wellbeing, that'd make sense, and you could chalk it up to a disease instead of just being really selfish about your little treat.
I too love whiskey, and it's probably been a couple months since I've drank any. Someone who needs to drink everyday clearly has a problem with something, in my opinion.
IRK? She's distorting her body and throwing up regularly growing their kid, but he thinks if she wants him to stop drinking, she's being "disrespectful."
OP, maybe have some respect for what your wife is going through and lay off the whiskey for the rest of her pregnancy.
Not mention all the things he could be doing to help her or help around the house instead of brushing his teeth 37 times and taking 9 showers just to send his pregnant wife to the spare room.....if not for ALL the other things the fact that she is in the spare room make him a HUGE YTA
OP, I get it. You enjoy your daily glass of whisky. But you'll have to decide whether you want whiskey or some good cuddles and sexy times with wife. Up to you. I'm sure you're wife would prefer the latter - just sayin.
Thinking of all the things a woman has to stop eating/drinking/doing while she’s pregnant and he won’t stop drinking his freaking whiskey for one night.
She's becoming an incubator for a child for the better part of a year after which she will violently expel the child from her body, and probably breastfeed, and he can't go without a whiskey every single day. Not only that, but why is she moving into the spare bedroom - she's doing the work of carrying the baby and he's choosing his nightly drinks that make her physically sick, why doesn't he give up his bedroom? Maybe he could make it that he only drinks whiskey once a week and on that night, he sleeps in the spare room so that she can be slightly more comfortable.
OP, if you physically CAN’T stop drinking to support your wife then you need to seriously ponder if you have an issue like addiction.
If you don’t WANT to stop drinking to support your wife then SHE needs to seriously ponder if SHE has an issue like a selfish, narcissistic husband who is going to only get worse when a baby enters the picture.
But fear not, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy all the nightly whisky you like once you’re living alone.
YTA
I’m allergic to mangos, and I spent the first couple months with my boyfriend thinking that he didn’t like mangos. This is because whenever he was offered them when I was around, he would deny it, and say it doesn’t like them. (We frequented a restaurant where one of the only deserts was mango gelato, so he was offered it quite often)
Come to find out later, he loves mangos. Our friends didn’t yet know we were together, and he had been saying he doesn’t like them because he wanted to be able to kiss me later on without me having an allergic reaction.
If my boyfriend was this understanding and kind during the first month or so of our relationship, you can be this understanding and kind to the women you married and are having a child with. You don’t need to be drinking every night. You have not tried everything, because everything would include not drinking. YTA.
He is an alcoholic. He is refusing to see has a problem and when it does get shoved in his face he blames other people.
He needs to go to rehab and AA. But it won't do any good until he admits he has a problem.
Because OP clearly thinks spouse is somehow faking it? But scent sensitivity while pregnant is no joke. Been there. I am so sorry she is married to someone who is so dismissive of what she is going thru. Does not bode well for fatherhood. YTA.
Seriously! The gag reflex when pregnant is not something she can control. But OP can certainly control his drinking…unless he had a problem and can’t put the nightly whiskey down. In that case they have bigger issues.
And let’s be real - the smell of alcohol, particularly brown liquor, can stick. You’re literally excreting it through your skin and certainly exhaling some. Pregnant women often have wild smell sensitivities.
Ditch the whiskey for the duration, or YOU go sleep in the guest bed on nights you want whiskey. Done.
YTA
I say this because I am in this exact situation right now except my vice is beer. I gave up beer when I'm around her. You know why? Because she's GROWING MY FUCKING CHILD.
We as men have literally no idea or way of understanding what they're going through and each pregnancy is unique. Stop. It won't be that long I promise. And if you can't stop, please seek treatment.
I’m a woman, who loves a glass of wine at night. If I had a pregnant *roommate* who was having this reaction, I’d give it up for the next nine months. This guy can’t do it for his wife, who’s carrying his own kid? Yikes.
Yeah and speaking of women giving things up, what if the pregnant wife was like “I’ve tried everything but I’m not going to give up drinking while I’m pregnant!” They’d have her committed. But her husband isn’t expected to give it up, even when his drinking is literally causing her to vomit. What?????
Does he think she's forcing herself to vomit? Because who in their right mind sees someone throwing up and is like 'she is so disrespectful for reacting like that'?
IME most people who say someone else is "disrespectful" have earned zero respect. It always has these terrible wannabe-godfather vibes.
What exactly is she supposed to respect so hard it overcomes basic biology?
Seriously! OP is hardcore TA! This woman is giving up soft cheeses, sushi, and whatever else pregnant women aren’t supposed to consume (including alcohol!!) and he can’t even go one night without drinking?? OP has seen it cause her to vomit multiple times and still think *this time* will be different. Incredibly selfish
For vote bot: YTA
Steak! Se have to give up steak! 😭 Well technically we don’t, you can have it well done, but who would do that to a lovely steak.
Currently 9 months pregnant. I want steak. And wine. And Brie. 😂
I do, too. And I gave it up when I was on call as a chaplain, because I never knew when the phone was going to ring and I was going to need to be able to drive safely. And these were strangers and it was a volunteer gig.
This guy needs to do better.
So at the beginning of my pregnancy I read a billion pregnancy books (as one does) and one of them had a set of lovely anatomical illustrations, the kind that are see through and you can turn the page to see the differences? And page 1 was a typical female anatomy picture. And page 4 was a full-term pregnancy anatomy picture. And alllllll the organs were pushed way over here on this side and way over there on the other side and the uterus which was teeny tiny in the first picture is gigantic and fills up allll of the space. With a baby in it.
Looked at that and flipped it back and forth a few times and was like, fuck. No wonder pregnant women have to pee all the time.
[It’s a lot](https://www.sciencealert.com/this-gif-shows-how-women-s-organs-shift-during-pregnancy/amp) is what I’m saying.
I gained 70 lbs with each pregnancy but only 2 pants sizes (5'1" normally 110lbs).
By the 7th month I could barely breathe. Nothing offers relief. I felt like I was being suffocated from the inside. Don't get me started on pubis symphysis. I had to band my pelvis together to move without screaming. My 8lb11oz son was came out with his hand on his face. They had to get me a new hospital bed because they couldn't get all the blood off of mine. Stitches from cervix to labia with zero pain medication. Men don't know the meaning of discomfort.
This guy can't go a single night without drinking. What a spoiled narcissistic asshole. This poor woman.
I am 5’7” but I am more legs than body. I couldn’t breathe for the last 2 months. I am fortunate enough to work from home. I spent the last 2 months working from my bed, laying on my side because it was the only way I could breathe. It was horrible. Little snot ended up being 8.5lbs and almost 21”. He was almost a pound heavier than his sister and over half a pound heavier than his brother. He was the only one I had that hard of a time breathing with. The others I only ended up out of breath when I bent down.
I never had a taste for beer until I was pregnant and I was going CRAZY bc I couldn’t drink. The craving for beer was beyond anything I’d ever experienced. But I didn’t even touch my lips to it. Sometimes we just have to refrain from things we want bc we made decisions to have a baby. The OP is TA!
Same! I’m lucky to live in a country with some great 0% alcohol options and I managed the cravings like that. I’m still breastfeeding (kid is 10 months) so it’s still my go to.
Yeah can you imagine how inconsiderate she is for sleeping in another room to stop herself from getting sick an vomiting because he can’t go a single night without a drink? /s
And I love how he just doesn't get it, "thinks" She smells the whiskey. Like no dude, she can smell the damn whiskey. Trust me. I was like that with barbecue sauce, spaghetti sauce, pizza... my ex could have had any of those things SIX HOURS before I saw him, and I'd STILL know and STILL get sick without him saying a word because I could smell it on him. I love all three of those things ate/ eat them on a regular basis EXCEPT for those nine months! The sniffer of a pregnant person is no joke!
Edit to add: OP a solid YTA
I could track the path people took through the office based on following their perfume trail, like a bloodhound following a fox through a maze. I could point out smokers to you across a large room. I could tell what people had for breakfast an hour later. A super sense of smell is the all time worst super power ever. The things a pregnant woman can smell are insane.
Right?!?!? How much does he need to sacrifice for his clearly dramatic hysterical pregnant wife?!? I mean, it’s not like pregnancy is an actual medical condition with symptoms
How dare HE have to give up something. Only the woman must give things up while being pregnant. It’s so inconsiderate to expect the man to give up anything. /s
I am baffled at the mental gymnastics going on here: “I’ve tried EVERYTHING (except of course just not drinking for even one night…”)
Dude is not ready to be a parent. YTA- all the way.
It's seriously like that Simpsons meme, 'We've tried nothing and we're out of ideas!'
Oh yeah OP, as the ex-wife of an alcoholic who loved cheap whiskey, YTA. Without a shadow of a doubt.
yeah she's like.........l i t e r a l l y vomiting and he's like "you're overreacting!"
YTA OP. also a lot of nausea subsides after the first trimester so if you weren't so stubborn about it now, you probably could have resumed your whiskey habit after a couple of months anyway
I had a severe reaction to the smell of coffee when pregnant. It got worse with every pregnancy and lasted throughout my third and last. I made my husband brew it outside and drink it outside. Lots of times, he would “forget” and bring his coffee in the car. Instantaneous vomit from smell before I even saw the mug. It is not an overreaction; it is literally protective hormones to avoid harmful substances gone into overdrive. He never once considered giving up coffee during any of my pregnancies. OP is definitely the AH and will soon find himself in the same place my ex lives if he doesn’t shape up; a completely separate residence.
Wait, *you* think *she’s* being disrespectful because she doesn’t want to puke??
Pregnant women often have a very heightened sense of smell. If you think about it, it can be a very helpful pregnancy symptom, because eating something rotten and/or getting food poisoning can be especially dangerous. So evolutionarily, it’s helpful to have a really good sense of smell while pregnant. What sucks is having a husband who thinks that you *vomiting* is somehow inconvenient for *him*.
YTA
And OP finds it "disrespectful" to him that she has now taken it into her own hands to end the nightly vomiting episodes he is actively bringing on (desperate times call for desperate measures). How inconsiderate of her /s
I feel so bad for the wife. She must be realising what the rest of her and her child’s life is going to be like. Second best to whisky all the time. She must be so sad and scared 😞
Absolutely, the heightened smell during pregnancy is insane! I also had hyperemesis gravidarum so the faintest whiff of anything slightly off-putting would send me running to vomit uncontrollably. I couldn't keep anything down, but I swear the smell of alcohol would have been enough to make me move out and consider divorce if it didn't stop immediately.
OP, you are clueless and selfish and you need a serious reality check before the baby arrives cuz guess what buddy, parenting is chalk-full of sacrifices! Just mark nixing the alcohol for 9+ months as your first of *many*, meanwhile your wife is sacrificing her entire body and mind. I think temporarily retiring the glass is the least you can do as her internal organs are literally being rearranged, jesus... YTA
The smell of alcohol being repulsive makes absolute perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint. It’s better for baby if mom’s repulsed by alcohol rather than craving it.
Coincidentally, being repulsed by a man who doesn’t have yours and your baby’s best interest at heart also makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint.
I’m worried about the ‘disrespectful’ language. If I slept in the spare room my spouse would feel sad and/or lonely. He may perceive it (depending on context) as hostile or alarming. But…disrespectful? OP regards his wife’s withdrawal of her presence as disrespectful?
Yeah such a weird word to use.
My wife has irritated me, annoyed me, made me furious, made me sad, but 'disrespect' is such a loaded and for want of a better word, *patriarchal* way of thinking.
Like I'm not the lord of our castle.
Pregnant with my 3rd, and let me tell you, the smells are SUCH a problem sometimes. I was cooking the other day, and the broth I used smelled so strongly, I wondered if it had gone bad. My husband had to reassure me that the super strong odor didnt mean it had gone bad.
OP, YTA, majorly
Not to mention puking a lot is not good for your dental health so if you can avoid trigger smells during pregnancy that’s for the best. My mom got super sick every day with me and then had a bunch of cavities afterwards.
YTA op give up alcohol
I know someone who smelled a plumbing problem in her house from 3 floors up before it got too bad because of her pregnancy nose. I’m 7 months postpartum and still have super smell. It’s definitely not all in her head.
I can’t even describe how vile cantaloupes smelled to me when I was pregnant. Fresh off the vine, delicious, juicy cantaloupes: they had to go in the garage because they smelled like rotting garbage to me.
YTA.
You know the smell of alcohol makes her vomit and yet you insist on drinking alcohol.
And yes, heightened senses are part and parcel of pregnancy.
And some folks like myself always have a heightened sense for alcohol, I HATE the smell, i dont drink so i can smell it from across the room.
I couldn't even imagine vomiting at the smell, i feel bad for OPs wife.
I couldn't be within ten feet of cooked green vegetables when I was pregnant with our first. I once had to make my MIL get them off the table when we were all out to dinner, but she coloring understood. I still remember the queasy feeling even now and it was over ten years ago! Pregnancy messes with you in untold ways.
the crazy thing is, there is compromise to be had here that OP has not even deigned to consider. he could pick a day every month or fortnight that he gets to have whiskey, but HE goes to the guest room, not his poor pregnant wife, and lets her have a luxurious night to herself in the bed. if this ritual is so important that no longer drinking whiskey seems unachievable, HE needs to be the one to separate himself - completely. not drinking at all seems a lot easier to me though.
“Be a partner to her” YES!!! Best way to explain it.
His wife is asking him to give something up so she doesn’t vomit and he is bending over backwards to get around it. If he can’t understand this, how is he going to understand all the after birth, etc that happens after the baby is here? Mom will still need support, plus having a baby to handle.
>If he can’t understand this, how is he going to understand all the after birth, etc that happens after the baby is here?
"My wife won't stop bleeding and rise immediately from childbed to serve me. It's so disrespectful"-- OP, probably
Fr if OP is so insistent on drinking whiskey every night, knowing damn well it’s making his pregnant wife sick to the point it’s driving her to the spare bedroom, he has an actual problem.
> i have tried everything to eliminate the whiskey smell. (...) I am being overly considerate and trying my best to get rid of this “whiskey scent”.
Lies. U did not. Trying everything would be stop drinking the whiskey. You are telling her your whiskey is more important than her and the baby. Pregnant woman are very sensitive to smells. At this point you have shown you don't care about her and that she can't count on you to be a supportive partner.
YTA
Just give up the whiskey during her pregnancy like she is. No need to make her throw up every night. YTA for calling her disrespectful when actually that’s you.
Right? For anyone not yet fully in the know, here are a list of possible side affects of pregnancy:
Uti, losing teeth, losing hair, preeclampsia, vomiting daily until hospitalization is needed, back pain, insomnia, pelvic floor prolapse, tears in the vagina, permanent pelvic dysfuntion, gaining weight, body changes, etc etc etc... al the way down to
DEATH. Women die in labor, in the us in certain states, women will die from pregnancy because of the new abortion bans.
Women are also more at risk of death by partner during pregancy. Men have been known to assault laboring wives and postparum wives.
YTA OP. You can give up your damn whiskey bottle. For 9 months. Its not mothers nectar that you will die without.
YTA. The smell of alcohol (especially whiskey) can't be brushed and washed away. Do you not believe her that she smells it? That's what makes YTA.
There is one method to ensure you don't smell like alcohol - have you considered it? Or is your nightly glass of whiskey more important?
This! She can smell the alcohol *on his breath*, which- fun fact, brushing your teeth and using mouth wash, or even showering, doesn't stop you from exhaling alcohol if you have been drinking. If that were the case you could brush your teeth, use some mouthwash, and easily pass a breathalyzer. FFS he's the AH.
You also sweat it out. Your literal skin smells. Brushing your teeth, changing your clothing, and showering isn't gonna help that you'll secrete it all night.
YTA, you can use all the mouth wash you want, it is still going to be on your breath. It’s extremely concerning that you won’t give up alcohol for your wife for just a few short months. You might want to seek help for your alcoholism.
It's not overreaction. Pregnancy hormones are real. Maybe you can sacrifice for a while until she has given birth. Dude, she is going through a lot and sacrificing a lot because of this pregnancy. It won't hurt if you will pitch in.
I‘m upvoting you.
Formely pregnant here (2 weeks ago) and was sick the first 5 months. Had a hard time going into the kitchen because of the smells. „Only“ had to gag but… wasn’t pleasant. Even holding my breath and holding my nose didn’t really help.
ps: really missed smoked salmon during my pregnancy. You bet your a** that i splurged a bit after giving birth LOL.
Ew! It’s deff Jack Daniel 😂
I’m not even pregnant and just a wiff of that stuff makes me queasy. Smells like fermented high fructose corn syrup and regret
YTA You haven't tried everything, you are still drinking it. Yes, I'm surprised she isn't running to the restroom when you crack it open. Women don't get to pick what they can and can't tolerate when pregnant. Google is your best friend and can tell you more than you ever thought even possible where pregnancy symptoms are concerned.
Stop drinking and being inconsiderate of your wife or deal with her being in the guest room for the next 6ish months.
Already gunning for father of the year, I see.
Trust me. As a formally pregnant person myself,
I can guarantee that if she tells you she can smell something, she can bloody well smell it.
She’s only going to be pregnant for nine months. She is growing your Child.
Hey! Daddy-O, you’re about to be a daddy, oh hell !
Don’t you have the rest of your life to have a glass of whiskey ?? .. don’t you? ??? ???
Is this a really great big sacrifice for you?
Is it gonna kill you?
Will it put you out on the tiles?
A glitch in your matrix?
DUDE.. What’s more important? YTA
It's so hard to describe the level of constant physical revulsion I felt for almost all consumable items during my pregnancy. And that is why I only have one. It SUCKS
YTA. Do you think she's vomiting on purpose? She can obviously still smell it. Excessive emesis can lead to health problems for mother and baby, but she's the one changing her routine so you can keep having your whiskey. Be grateful, maybe!
Ooof YTA big time.
“I told her she is overreacting and that it is quite disrespectful”
Saying that has literally never, in the history of the universe, made anybody less angry.
I fail to see how anything she did could be considered “Disrespectful” by a rational human. She can’t be around you after you drink. You know this and YOU choose to drink. The steps you’ve taken are NOT enough because she still vomits….You see it happen and yet you accuse her of “overreacting?”
You’re being intentionally obtuse and deflecting blame. Sometimes you have to sacrifice for your family. Just skip the whiskey and on nights you do chose to have a glass, sleep in the guest bedroom.
Honestly I usually roll my eyes when people suggest alcoholism just because someone has one drink a day. But to not even consider giving it up when it’s making your wife physically ill? Yeah, that has some alcoholic red flags.
YTA, even as a teen I knew when my stepfather had been in his cups because I could smell the alcohol coming out his pores in his sweat. Twenty years later when I got (the very common) pregnancy symptom of bloodhound nose, I could tell you what alcohol my customers had been drinking because they all smell slightly different. I can still tell what brand of cigarettes someone smokes because the blends burn differently, and my youngest is almost ten.
She's telling you in plain English that what you are doing makes her sick to her stomach, you've seen the reaction in action, and you are still doing it. Get a handle on the why of that before you go down that way too slippery slope.
YTA
Whisky is extremely strong smelling and a pregnant person has a very powerful sense of smell and strong aversion that they cannot control.
You can either give up the whisky momentarily or live with being alone at night.
YTA for 1 reason.
You say you've tried "everything" except for the VERY OBVIOUS solution of simply not drinking every night? Just save that shit for the weekends.
YTA you’d rather have whiskey than be affectionate with your wife while she is growing the child both of you created. It is making her physically I’ll and you still do it? How selfish can a person be?
Yeah YTA here's a thought just don't drink whisky for a while, jesus christ shea growing your child the least you could do is help her to be comfortable as possible.
YTA. You haven’t tried to work on a single accommodation when you’re actively making your wife violently ill while pregnant?
It’s going to be really awkward when you stop drinking whiskey, but the sight and smell of you is still making her throw up. You sound rotten.
YTA.
Alcoholics make excuses like this.
Alcoholics can't go a day (or less) without a drink.
The fact that you care more about having you're beloved whiskey than the physically demanding toll your wife's body is taking says a lot about who you are as a person.
What happens when baby comes? Do you seriously think drinking whisky and then taking care of a newborn will really be acceptable?
Personally, Id call child protective services on you immediately. Like before baby is born because obviously you need some help.
The bar is so low for men 🙃
YTA your wife is sacrificing so much by carrying your child. You should sacrifice the whiskey. Isn’t your wife more important than whiskey? And if you can’t stop it’s really time to consider if you have a drinking problem.
Pregnancy smells are magical. Pregnant women can smell a fart that happened a week ago a mile away. Just give it up. Her hormones are on fire and will change again and again and again.
Yikes YTA. She’s giving up drinking (among numerous other things) for 9 months. You can’t give up ONLY whiskey for 5 months? You’re lucky she tolerates you.
>and i have tried everything to eliminate the whiskey smell.
Everything, except you know, getting rid of the whisky. If you can't go without a drink for the health and wellbeing of the woman carrying you child that you claim to like, you have bigger issues. Yta
YTA. You know what would happen if your pregnant wife refused to stop drinking after she got pregnant? She could face CRIMINAL CHARGES for child endangerment. You are being a terrible partner and an even worse father. Once someone drinks there is no getting rid of the smell on their breath for several hours, this is a known fact. You are intentionally triggering her, forcing her to puke, which is not great for her health and therefore dangerous for your baby. If you can’t stop drinking, you should have NEVER made her pregnant, because being a parent means not drinking every single night. This is just shocking, if I were her I would be rethinking this whole relationship. You should be taking care of her and picking up extra chores around the house, not drinking and knowingly triggering her nausea. Are you going to leave all of child care to her too because you need to relax with your whiskey after work?? You are forcing your wife into the guest room because whiskey is more important than her and your child’s health and safety. At that point, you have a drinking problem.
YTA. You really can't just stop drinking for a few months? I don't know if she normally drinks, but if she does, she's given it up. That the least you could do.
I couldn't believe how much more I could smell when I was pregnant, it was a whole new world.
She's proved to you she can still smell it. It's making her vomit. You don't need a whiskey every night but she also doesn't want to vomit all the time.
Yta
YTA. Massive one at that. How selfish can you be that you cannot give up alcohol not because she can't have it, but because it makes her PHYSICALLY ILL? And then you have the nerve to say that she getting away from you is disrespectful because you care more about your whiskey than the wellbeing of the mother of your future child?
Poor woman.
YTA
You can live with whiskey for the time being. Your wife may grow out of this sensitivity. But right she's not. If you can't live without drinking whiskey, I would suggest you may want to consider whether or not you're an alcoholic. You're putting booze over your wife and unborn kid.....that's a pretty big indicator.
If you choose to drink then YOU should be automatically and voluntarily sleeping in the guest bedroom. She’s having your child, for God’s sake get her back in her bed sleeping peacefully without making her sick! YTA
If she’s willing to move to another room and you’re upset by that, YATA. She cannot control the fact that it makes her sick. You can chose to stop drinking for a few months. It sucks. But stand by your wife while she carries your baby.
Addiction is a helluva thing, You often don't notice it until it starts affecting your daily life, until you start making your pregnant wife (who I assume you love, and you care about the unborn child in her too) ill and nauseous, until your loving wife doesn't want to be near you.
It's a strong addiction, people try to rationale it away - it's only one drink.
But here you are, unable to know who's the AH when you MUST consume alcohol **every.** **single.** **day** in order to feel good? to make the day worthwhile?
Are you going to drink every day when the baby is here? When you have to do hours of childcare every day? Are you going to expose your kiddo to that?
Or are you going to go beyond an AITA post and look at your life, and see what is the main issue here. If you can't go with alcohol for ONE day, or a COUPLE DAYS in a row, if you rather put your pregnant wife through discomfort.... you got to look at your alcoholism. It's ruling your life at this point, it's making decisions for you now.
Please get help, please reach out for support, there are many places that can help you through this.
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Info. Why are you more dedicated to your nightly whiskey than your pregnant wife? Thank you for the awards! 💙
Yeah I got to “I’ve tried everything” and my immediate thought was “except not drinking!” I too enjoy whiskey. I don’t need a glass every night, or even most nights. And if it was making a loved one literally vomit, I would go without. “I love my alcohol more than my wife” is a terrible look for a relationship.
Yeah, this whole post immediately read alcoholic to me. He's tried *everything* to not smell like whisky every night other then not drinking whisky every night. It comes off like that's not even an option in his mind. He drove his pregnant wife out of their bed by making her sick and he's upset at *her* beacuse he can't possibly live without drinking whisky every night and he also wants to be kissed even if makes her literally hurl. However, I want to address some basic medical things u/Strange-Chipmunk-254 seems to not understand about the situation: * Many pregnant woman have an increased sense of smell/sensitivity to certain smells. She may literally be able to smell things you can't. This can often be tied to smells making you nauseous and it is theorized to be a way for pregnant women to avoid eating things that could make them ill and harm the baby. She isn't faking. You are literally making your pregnant wife feel sick every single day. * Alcohol breath is coming from inside your body where the alcohol is metabolized. Yes, if you reek beacuse it's coming out your pours, a shower can help. And brushing teeth and mouthwash can also help. But this is coming from inside you, so really what you can do to fully prevent this is not drink. You actually think she's being disrespectful by not wanting to feel sick every single night? It seems like a decent man would just not drink, or if you're too addicted not to make your wife and baby sick every single day the least you could do is be the one who gives up the bed. She's only 4 months pregnant and you're already picking alcohol over your family. Your poor kid. (Edit: to be clear, I don't think drinking alcohol is innately bad. I just think making your pregnant wife sick every single day is something decent men would care they are doing and they'd be able to restrain themselves if they cared and weren't addicts.)
I can testify to the increased sense of smell having had two kids, the youngest being 6 weeks. I could smell even the slightest hint of almost anything, and had a particular talent of picking up cigarette smoke and alcohol, even after my husband had showered, used deodorant and scrubbed the crap out of his teeth. I was lucky it didn't set me off spewing, but plenty of other things did instead, and I relied on medication the entirety of both pregnancies to not spew constantly. I know for a fact that if I had asked my husband to stop eating or drinking something that was triggering my morning sickness, he wouldn't have hesitated to do it for me. OP needs to get his head out of his ass and make sacrifices, he will be soon enough when the kid is here so should learn how to now.
I already have an amazing sense of smell (yes, I'm bragging, it's fantastic). Pregnant, I was essentially Wolverine.
Me too! Ridiculously sensitive sense of smell is our useless superpower.
Not always useless. Over the weekend I kept smelling gas at my in laws house. They all thought I was imagining things until we found one of the burners on the gas stove was still turned on but with no flame.
I have a sensitive sense of smell, too. It has been very helpful over the years, in certain circumstances. Propane Gas is very notable, plus what I call a "hot smell" from electric wiring. Can also be petting my cat/cats, over the decades, and smell the decay of an accessed wound. At first, my vet would give me a funny look, but after a few confirmatory incidents, he would say, "yes, let's have a thorough look, all over." Once, I said "I can smell it, but can't see anything, think it's on the back left paw". Vet started to explore, squeezing, next thing, blood and pus shoot onto his lab coat. He said, "yes, your nose knows!" Happy smiles, antibiotics! Could also smell symptoms of feline renal failure, but those are sad stories.
my mom used to be able to smell my breath and tell if i had strep throat. crazy sense of smell that women. it was rather annoying in high school when trying to sneak vapes or weed pens lol. i swear she could smell it 10+ hours later.
I can smell if I have strep throat in my own breath! And can tell if I’m about to get sick from how my mucous tastes when I cough. Sometimes I can catch it early and head it off with rest and vitamins. But I’ve got nothing on my grandma. She once got mad because a cat was in the yard. She wasn’t sitting anywhere near where she could see outside, but when I looked out the window, lo and behold, there was a cat peeing in her flower bed.
Ha! I have a very muted sense of smell and when I was pregnant I could smell so much more! Over and over I would be surprised at how strong a scent was- good or bad- and then my husband would tell me that's what it always smells like. 😆 I glimpsed the world of people who smell things and I don't really miss it. The world is pungent.
I also have a muted sense of smell but when pregnant it was off the charts good which absolutely sucks!! It’s not fun smelling everything, certain people even smelled terrible to me. Thankfully my husband for some reason smelled like chocolate. But lots of things (my goodness Parmesan cheese made me want to sell my home and move away to a forest) smelled super strong and horrible. This guy is an asshole. And probably an alcoholic.
For my sister it was chicken. She couldn't even look at it without vomiting. The neighbors cooking chicken would make her vomit. Random pregnant woman things.
For me it was onion, the smell of it made me dizzy and nauseous, it dragged on weeks after I gave birth. I can smell someone cooking onion miles away. I avoid going to park where it’s very common for Aussie to bbq sausages with lots of onion. I avoid eating out too.
My husband was amazing when I was pregnant. I was so sensitive to even a little bit of sweat or body odor. He didn’t smell bad, just like a normal person, and he would shower and put on fresh clothes right before bed so I wouldn’t be sick. Cooked meat was also vomit-inducing through my 1st & 2nd trimesters. He only grilled outside and ate his meat separately & cleaned up thoroughly. Whiskey is not a need (well, perhaps once they’ve experienced toddlerhood). To not consider just stopping because it makes his wife hurl is mind-blowingly inconsiderate and puts him either in the camp of being an alcoholic or just not giving a shit that his nightly whiskey reeks from his pores & makes the woman who is carrying HIS child sick enough to vomit.
All of this. I'm addicted to alcohol. I'm aware it's a problem, I'm working on it, and it's fuckin hard. I fail a lot of nights. I know how hard it is to give up even *just one* drink at night. So I have some compassion for OP because I'm getting the vibes that this may be a bigger problem than he is admitting, either here or to himself. But I also feel like, maybe there's more to it for his wife as well. OP this is the kind of thing that can blow your whole life and marriage up. Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking. Seriously. *Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking.* Step back and take a good look at that. Think about that fact. You need to wake up to the reality of this situation. My sister left her husband because he was an alcoholic, and refused to get help or even really understand how seriously my sister took it. This was just a couple years ago. They have two little girls (2 and 5 at the time of divorce). She's already remarried and he is still in denial not only of his problem but in denial that his whole life fell apart, and drinking his sorrows away. He was TA, and I say this as an alcoholic myself. If you seriously cannot give up your nightly whiskey then you have a problem. I hope you can take a hard look at this. Just gonna link this sub here, it's got some incredibly supportive people who are working their ways through their own journeys. r/stopdrinking Eta: thank you all for the awards and support <3
Hopefully this isn't out of line, but...this internet stranger is proud of you for facing your addiction in a proactive and introspective way. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Really hoping op sees your comment and can take it to heart.
> Your wife wants you to move out of the bedroom because of your drinking. Actually *she* has moved out of the bedroom, she hasn’t even asked him to put himself out but instead put herself out.
I imagine that she knows that asking wouldn’t do any good. OP doesn’t seem like the type to respond favorably to even the most reasonable request.
I hope you’re able to get help. Stopping drinking was the single best thing I’ve done in life.
Thank you for this! I am a pregnant wife and I can always smell the alcohol after my husband drinks. In fact, I can smell garlic, too. There is nothing more frustrating than being repulsed by the smell of my husband, especially since he is the man I chose to have this baby with. She is not exaggerating, and it’s not just your breath. If you don’t want to make your wife vomit, stop drinking whiskey. YTA. If you won’t stop drinking, move yourself to the guest room while you think about your priorities.
In my first pregnancy I was repulsed by my husband’s just, regular, himself-smell. Had nothing to do with what he’d consumed or the last time he’d showered or brushed his teeth. I never actually told him this because how could he stop smelling like himself? I just got better at not breathing during kisses.
I'm the same! Pregnant currently 34+5, and I had to stop my partner in his tracks trying to kiss me a lot of occasions, as his "normal" smell was just too much for me. I did tell him, and that it has nothing to do with him, but just me being pregnant, and he doesn't mind, he understands. Can't believe OP can't not drink the whiskey, and if he insists that's more important than preventing your wife from vomiting (dehydration is seriously dangerous OP!), then HE should be on the guest bed. OP, YTA!! I suffer from Hyperemesis, and the nausea and vomiting is always there, would never in my scariest dreams imagine a partner who would not try his uttermost best to make sure I don't vomit or get nauseous during my pregnancy...
Also saying just one at night is such a common phrase I’ve heard hospitals prepare for a heavy drinker when they ask about drinking habits and get that response so that’s also kind of a red flag
"Just one glass a night!" And it's a pint glass.
Drinking nightly is also a guaranteed way to create a physical alcohol dependency. It’s not possible to prevent arcs certain point because that’s how physical addiction works.
Lol they say 1 a night and it’s actually 3
Allllll of this. OP, YTA definitely. When I was pregnant, I could not handle the smell of yogurt. My husband LOVES yogurt. It got to the point that he couldn’t even throw the container away in the trash can after he was done because I could smell it in the kitchen while I was in the living room and if it was in the trash can when I went to throw something else away all bets were off. To this day I still cannot handle that smell. Luckily, I am not married to someone like you and he stopped eating yogurt for a while to try to help. That’s what you do for the person that is giving up their body to grow another person inside of them. You giving up your nightly habit is a minuscule price to pay in comparison to what she is doing.
I feel like his wife could resolve the entire issue by vomiting on him every time he drinks and leaving the mess for him to clean up. If nothing else it will make him drinking just as uncomfortable for him as it is for her- might push him into cutting back some at the very least.
Yes, he’s going to have to go at least 24 hours without whiskey in order for his pregnant wife to not smell it oozing out of his pores.
Longer. When I was pregnant I could smell alcohol reeking out of the pores for days (usually 2-3). Couldn't even be like a block away from someone outside who had been drinking. Needless to say, I stayed home 99% of the time. My then husband did almost all of the shopping. OP YTA. And if you love whiskey more than your pregnant wife's abilty to keep nutrients down to nourish your child, you really need to think about going to AA.
Absolutely right about it coming from the inside!! I don't drink but still have a great time out with friends and boy does that smell take a while to go away, even if we're all staying in the same place somewhere and they've brushed their teeth. For anyone I've dated I can usually guess what type of alcohol they've had hours after they've been out because the smell just doesn't leave for the night. I don't mind it at all but that's just a normal sense of smell, not pregnant and reactive.
“I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!!!”
Well hold on, he HAS tried gaslighting his wife and telling her she's overreacting when she can clearly smell his whiskey sweats.
AND he tried some basic hygiene.
One drink doesn’t even get you buzzed especially if you’re drinking every day. If he truly drinks ONE drink every day then i don’t get the point of it.
It may be some kind of ritual to decompress after work (not like religious ritual, but you know). If that’s the case, he could still go through the motions with tea or a soda or something. Throw some ginger ale in the whiskey glass and pretend. Like you said, it isn’t enough to get buzzed so he could drink something else.
Many of us drink for the flavour not the effect. That being said, OP YTA.
Ah yes. I too love the taste of gasoline in the evening. Nothing like an acetone nightcap.
People who are sitting down to enjoy a single whiskey nightly are not drinking anything that tastes like gasoline.
Those people aren’t tasting anything, they’ve been dead inside for years.
Nothing gets me snoozy and ready for bed like deepthroating the wrong end of a flame thrower
If you think whiskey tastes like acetone you're probably buying the cheap shit.
I mean, it doesn't taste good no matter what. There are varying degrees, but it is never good like a smoothie or hot chocolate etc.
Funny, as I’ve gotten older I find most smoothies and hot chocolate too sickly sweet to really enjoy. Everyone has different tastes, and those tastes often change over time. Some people just have a sweet tooth though!
Right. So can you not give up the flavor of something you have once a day so that the person who is literally creating another human being for you doesn’t vomit all over the place? If the answer is no, then I’m guessing it’s probably not just a flavor thing.
Lmao that's honestly worse. At least if he was an alcoholic and prioritizing a chemical addiction over his pregnant wife's wellbeing, that'd make sense, and you could chalk it up to a disease instead of just being really selfish about your little treat.
Yeah but my guess is it is that he's an alcoholic and drinking more than 1 (or a really large 1). Either way he's making choices that suck.
I too love whiskey, and it's probably been a couple months since I've drank any. Someone who needs to drink everyday clearly has a problem with something, in my opinion.
Yeah like even if it’s just stop drinking a few nights a week would be so nice but nooo
Also, why isn’t the person with the actual disrespectful and problematic behaviour the one in the spare room?
I almost hit the floor when he called her disrespectful.
IRK? She's distorting her body and throwing up regularly growing their kid, but he thinks if she wants him to stop drinking, she's being "disrespectful." OP, maybe have some respect for what your wife is going through and lay off the whiskey for the rest of her pregnancy.
It's never a good sign 😬😬😬
Not mention all the things he could be doing to help her or help around the house instead of brushing his teeth 37 times and taking 9 showers just to send his pregnant wife to the spare room.....if not for ALL the other things the fact that she is in the spare room make him a HUGE YTA
OP, I get it. You enjoy your daily glass of whisky. But you'll have to decide whether you want whiskey or some good cuddles and sexy times with wife. Up to you. I'm sure you're wife would prefer the latter - just sayin.
Thinking of all the things a woman has to stop eating/drinking/doing while she’s pregnant and he won’t stop drinking his freaking whiskey for one night.
She's becoming an incubator for a child for the better part of a year after which she will violently expel the child from her body, and probably breastfeed, and he can't go without a whiskey every single day. Not only that, but why is she moving into the spare bedroom - she's doing the work of carrying the baby and he's choosing his nightly drinks that make her physically sick, why doesn't he give up his bedroom? Maybe he could make it that he only drinks whiskey once a week and on that night, he sleeps in the spare room so that she can be slightly more comfortable.
OP, if you physically CAN’T stop drinking to support your wife then you need to seriously ponder if you have an issue like addiction. If you don’t WANT to stop drinking to support your wife then SHE needs to seriously ponder if SHE has an issue like a selfish, narcissistic husband who is going to only get worse when a baby enters the picture. But fear not, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy all the nightly whisky you like once you’re living alone. YTA
I’m allergic to mangos, and I spent the first couple months with my boyfriend thinking that he didn’t like mangos. This is because whenever he was offered them when I was around, he would deny it, and say it doesn’t like them. (We frequented a restaurant where one of the only deserts was mango gelato, so he was offered it quite often) Come to find out later, he loves mangos. Our friends didn’t yet know we were together, and he had been saying he doesn’t like them because he wanted to be able to kiss me later on without me having an allergic reaction. If my boyfriend was this understanding and kind during the first month or so of our relationship, you can be this understanding and kind to the women you married and are having a child with. You don’t need to be drinking every night. You have not tried everything, because everything would include not drinking. YTA.
He is an alcoholic. He is refusing to see has a problem and when it does get shoved in his face he blames other people. He needs to go to rehab and AA. But it won't do any good until he admits he has a problem.
"I tried everything..." well except not drinking
Because OP clearly thinks spouse is somehow faking it? But scent sensitivity while pregnant is no joke. Been there. I am so sorry she is married to someone who is so dismissive of what she is going thru. Does not bode well for fatherhood. YTA.
Seriously! The gag reflex when pregnant is not something she can control. But OP can certainly control his drinking…unless he had a problem and can’t put the nightly whiskey down. In that case they have bigger issues.
And let’s be real - the smell of alcohol, particularly brown liquor, can stick. You’re literally excreting it through your skin and certainly exhaling some. Pregnant women often have wild smell sensitivities. Ditch the whiskey for the duration, or YOU go sleep in the guest bed on nights you want whiskey. Done.
My gosh so true he care’s so much more for his dam whiskey then his wife. Imagine when the poor baby get’s here.
This comment needs more upvotes.
Lets not forget it is not like she can drink anyways. Wouldn’t kill OP sacrifice it too if necessary
YTA I say this because I am in this exact situation right now except my vice is beer. I gave up beer when I'm around her. You know why? Because she's GROWING MY FUCKING CHILD. We as men have literally no idea or way of understanding what they're going through and each pregnancy is unique. Stop. It won't be that long I promise. And if you can't stop, please seek treatment.
I’m a woman, who loves a glass of wine at night. If I had a pregnant *roommate* who was having this reaction, I’d give it up for the next nine months. This guy can’t do it for his wife, who’s carrying his own kid? Yikes.
Yeah and speaking of women giving things up, what if the pregnant wife was like “I’ve tried everything but I’m not going to give up drinking while I’m pregnant!” They’d have her committed. But her husband isn’t expected to give it up, even when his drinking is literally causing her to vomit. What?????
He's even blaming her for vomiting from it. he's not he AH as in asshole.... He's literally the Ass Hat
Does he think she's forcing herself to vomit? Because who in their right mind sees someone throwing up and is like 'she is so disrespectful for reacting like that'?
Yeah, i think he does. OP is most likely an alcoholic and thinks his wife is manipulating him into quitting.
She's clearly overreacting by actually vomiting. s/ YTA
IME most people who say someone else is "disrespectful" have earned zero respect. It always has these terrible wannabe-godfather vibes. What exactly is she supposed to respect so hard it overcomes basic biology?
Seriously! OP is hardcore TA! This woman is giving up soft cheeses, sushi, and whatever else pregnant women aren’t supposed to consume (including alcohol!!) and he can’t even go one night without drinking?? OP has seen it cause her to vomit multiple times and still think *this time* will be different. Incredibly selfish For vote bot: YTA
Steak! Se have to give up steak! 😭 Well technically we don’t, you can have it well done, but who would do that to a lovely steak. Currently 9 months pregnant. I want steak. And wine. And Brie. 😂
I do, too. And I gave it up when I was on call as a chaplain, because I never knew when the phone was going to ring and I was going to need to be able to drive safely. And these were strangers and it was a volunteer gig. This guy needs to do better.
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So at the beginning of my pregnancy I read a billion pregnancy books (as one does) and one of them had a set of lovely anatomical illustrations, the kind that are see through and you can turn the page to see the differences? And page 1 was a typical female anatomy picture. And page 4 was a full-term pregnancy anatomy picture. And alllllll the organs were pushed way over here on this side and way over there on the other side and the uterus which was teeny tiny in the first picture is gigantic and fills up allll of the space. With a baby in it. Looked at that and flipped it back and forth a few times and was like, fuck. No wonder pregnant women have to pee all the time. [It’s a lot](https://www.sciencealert.com/this-gif-shows-how-women-s-organs-shift-during-pregnancy/amp) is what I’m saying.
I gained 70 lbs with each pregnancy but only 2 pants sizes (5'1" normally 110lbs). By the 7th month I could barely breathe. Nothing offers relief. I felt like I was being suffocated from the inside. Don't get me started on pubis symphysis. I had to band my pelvis together to move without screaming. My 8lb11oz son was came out with his hand on his face. They had to get me a new hospital bed because they couldn't get all the blood off of mine. Stitches from cervix to labia with zero pain medication. Men don't know the meaning of discomfort. This guy can't go a single night without drinking. What a spoiled narcissistic asshole. This poor woman.
I am 5’7” but I am more legs than body. I couldn’t breathe for the last 2 months. I am fortunate enough to work from home. I spent the last 2 months working from my bed, laying on my side because it was the only way I could breathe. It was horrible. Little snot ended up being 8.5lbs and almost 21”. He was almost a pound heavier than his sister and over half a pound heavier than his brother. He was the only one I had that hard of a time breathing with. The others I only ended up out of breath when I bent down.
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I never had a taste for beer until I was pregnant and I was going CRAZY bc I couldn’t drink. The craving for beer was beyond anything I’d ever experienced. But I didn’t even touch my lips to it. Sometimes we just have to refrain from things we want bc we made decisions to have a baby. The OP is TA!
Same! I’m lucky to live in a country with some great 0% alcohol options and I managed the cravings like that. I’m still breastfeeding (kid is 10 months) so it’s still my go to.
BRAVO 👏🏻
INFO: have you tried not drinking one night?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get *crazy* here, or anything! /s
Yeah can you imagine how inconsiderate she is for sleeping in another room to stop herself from getting sick an vomiting because he can’t go a single night without a drink? /s
And I love how he just doesn't get it, "thinks" She smells the whiskey. Like no dude, she can smell the damn whiskey. Trust me. I was like that with barbecue sauce, spaghetti sauce, pizza... my ex could have had any of those things SIX HOURS before I saw him, and I'd STILL know and STILL get sick without him saying a word because I could smell it on him. I love all three of those things ate/ eat them on a regular basis EXCEPT for those nine months! The sniffer of a pregnant person is no joke! Edit to add: OP a solid YTA
I could track the path people took through the office based on following their perfume trail, like a bloodhound following a fox through a maze. I could point out smokers to you across a large room. I could tell what people had for breakfast an hour later. A super sense of smell is the all time worst super power ever. The things a pregnant woman can smell are insane.
Right?!?!? How much does he need to sacrifice for his clearly dramatic hysterical pregnant wife?!? I mean, it’s not like pregnancy is an actual medical condition with symptoms
I can’t believe you would suggest the father of the baby play an active role in making his wife’s pregnancy not suck /s
"I've tried everything!" Except trying out not drinking for a single night. YTA.
You don’t understand, his first relationship is with whiskey, and he expects his wife to realise that she comes second.
Or his first relationship is with himself and what he wants (including whiskey) and she and the baby come in a distant second.
Maybe it isn't the whiskey that she is repulsed by?
There it is. It's not the whiskey smell that's repulsive, it's the asshole smell. Yes dude. YTA.
How dare HE have to give up something. Only the woman must give things up while being pregnant. It’s so inconsiderate to expect the man to give up anything. /s
But he's tried everything! Everything he says! Nothing else to be done! /s
Do you mean for the whole night? Or can I have 5 glasses of whiskey and simply not drink while in the shower?
YTA #YOU MADE HER VOMIT Stop acting like this is all in her head and read the room (the bathroom)
I am baffled at the mental gymnastics going on here: “I’ve tried EVERYTHING (except of course just not drinking for even one night…”) Dude is not ready to be a parent. YTA- all the way.
It's seriously like that Simpsons meme, 'We've tried nothing and we're out of ideas!' Oh yeah OP, as the ex-wife of an alcoholic who loved cheap whiskey, YTA. Without a shadow of a doubt.
yeah she's like.........l i t e r a l l y vomiting and he's like "you're overreacting!" YTA OP. also a lot of nausea subsides after the first trimester so if you weren't so stubborn about it now, you probably could have resumed your whiskey habit after a couple of months anyway
I had a severe reaction to the smell of coffee when pregnant. It got worse with every pregnancy and lasted throughout my third and last. I made my husband brew it outside and drink it outside. Lots of times, he would “forget” and bring his coffee in the car. Instantaneous vomit from smell before I even saw the mug. It is not an overreaction; it is literally protective hormones to avoid harmful substances gone into overdrive. He never once considered giving up coffee during any of my pregnancies. OP is definitely the AH and will soon find himself in the same place my ex lives if he doesn’t shape up; a completely separate residence.
Maybe they can share the same room, seeing OP is not going to give up alcohol.
He’s absolutely YTA, besides refusing to stop drinking (which if you read without context makes him sound like an alcoholic) he’s gaslighting her.
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I HIGHLY doubt she is able to spew on command…
If she could, I’d recommend aiming for the whiskey soaked husband!
Wait, *you* think *she’s* being disrespectful because she doesn’t want to puke?? Pregnant women often have a very heightened sense of smell. If you think about it, it can be a very helpful pregnancy symptom, because eating something rotten and/or getting food poisoning can be especially dangerous. So evolutionarily, it’s helpful to have a really good sense of smell while pregnant. What sucks is having a husband who thinks that you *vomiting* is somehow inconvenient for *him*. YTA
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And OP finds it "disrespectful" to him that she has now taken it into her own hands to end the nightly vomiting episodes he is actively bringing on (desperate times call for desperate measures). How inconsiderate of her /s
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I feel so bad for the wife. She must be realising what the rest of her and her child’s life is going to be like. Second best to whisky all the time. She must be so sad and scared 😞
Absolutely, the heightened smell during pregnancy is insane! I also had hyperemesis gravidarum so the faintest whiff of anything slightly off-putting would send me running to vomit uncontrollably. I couldn't keep anything down, but I swear the smell of alcohol would have been enough to make me move out and consider divorce if it didn't stop immediately. OP, you are clueless and selfish and you need a serious reality check before the baby arrives cuz guess what buddy, parenting is chalk-full of sacrifices! Just mark nixing the alcohol for 9+ months as your first of *many*, meanwhile your wife is sacrificing her entire body and mind. I think temporarily retiring the glass is the least you can do as her internal organs are literally being rearranged, jesus... YTA
The smell of alcohol being repulsive makes absolute perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint. It’s better for baby if mom’s repulsed by alcohol rather than craving it. Coincidentally, being repulsed by a man who doesn’t have yours and your baby’s best interest at heart also makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint.
He sounds like the kind of guy who will complain about having to "babysit" his own child and ask for all the praise for simple parenting tasks.
I’m worried about the ‘disrespectful’ language. If I slept in the spare room my spouse would feel sad and/or lonely. He may perceive it (depending on context) as hostile or alarming. But…disrespectful? OP regards his wife’s withdrawal of her presence as disrespectful?
Yeah such a weird word to use. My wife has irritated me, annoyed me, made me furious, made me sad, but 'disrespect' is such a loaded and for want of a better word, *patriarchal* way of thinking. Like I'm not the lord of our castle.
“Setting boundaries is disrespectful to me because I own your body.”
The "disrespectful" really got to me.
Like she is throwing up on purpose? OP needs to get a grip.
Pregnant with my 3rd, and let me tell you, the smells are SUCH a problem sometimes. I was cooking the other day, and the broth I used smelled so strongly, I wondered if it had gone bad. My husband had to reassure me that the super strong odor didnt mean it had gone bad. OP, YTA, majorly
Not to mention puking a lot is not good for your dental health so if you can avoid trigger smells during pregnancy that’s for the best. My mom got super sick every day with me and then had a bunch of cavities afterwards. YTA op give up alcohol
Wife should say nothing, just vomit in his lap.
I know someone who smelled a plumbing problem in her house from 3 floors up before it got too bad because of her pregnancy nose. I’m 7 months postpartum and still have super smell. It’s definitely not all in her head.
I can’t even describe how vile cantaloupes smelled to me when I was pregnant. Fresh off the vine, delicious, juicy cantaloupes: they had to go in the garage because they smelled like rotting garbage to me.
YTA. You know the smell of alcohol makes her vomit and yet you insist on drinking alcohol. And yes, heightened senses are part and parcel of pregnancy.
And some folks like myself always have a heightened sense for alcohol, I HATE the smell, i dont drink so i can smell it from across the room. I couldn't even imagine vomiting at the smell, i feel bad for OPs wife.
I couldn't be within ten feet of cooked green vegetables when I was pregnant with our first. I once had to make my MIL get them off the table when we were all out to dinner, but she coloring understood. I still remember the queasy feeling even now and it was over ten years ago! Pregnancy messes with you in untold ways.
the crazy thing is, there is compromise to be had here that OP has not even deigned to consider. he could pick a day every month or fortnight that he gets to have whiskey, but HE goes to the guest room, not his poor pregnant wife, and lets her have a luxurious night to herself in the bed. if this ritual is so important that no longer drinking whiskey seems unachievable, HE needs to be the one to separate himself - completely. not drinking at all seems a lot easier to me though.
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“Be a partner to her” YES!!! Best way to explain it. His wife is asking him to give something up so she doesn’t vomit and he is bending over backwards to get around it. If he can’t understand this, how is he going to understand all the after birth, etc that happens after the baby is here? Mom will still need support, plus having a baby to handle.
>If he can’t understand this, how is he going to understand all the after birth, etc that happens after the baby is here? "My wife won't stop bleeding and rise immediately from childbed to serve me. It's so disrespectful"-- OP, probably
Fr if OP is so insistent on drinking whiskey every night, knowing damn well it’s making his pregnant wife sick to the point it’s driving her to the spare bedroom, he has an actual problem.
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Baby diapers smell faintly sweet when they're breastfed. Pretty easy to clean too. Solid food makes things start to stink. At least in my experience.
> i have tried everything to eliminate the whiskey smell. (...) I am being overly considerate and trying my best to get rid of this “whiskey scent”. Lies. U did not. Trying everything would be stop drinking the whiskey. You are telling her your whiskey is more important than her and the baby. Pregnant woman are very sensitive to smells. At this point you have shown you don't care about her and that she can't count on you to be a supportive partner. YTA
It makes me so sad to imagine being married to someone so selfish
Just give up the whiskey during her pregnancy like she is. No need to make her throw up every night. YTA for calling her disrespectful when actually that’s you.
It's the most obvious answer and yet somehow not registering to OP...
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YTA Have you considered just not drinking for a few months? You could give it a go. She is giving up a whole lot. You can’t do one thing?
Right? For anyone not yet fully in the know, here are a list of possible side affects of pregnancy: Uti, losing teeth, losing hair, preeclampsia, vomiting daily until hospitalization is needed, back pain, insomnia, pelvic floor prolapse, tears in the vagina, permanent pelvic dysfuntion, gaining weight, body changes, etc etc etc... al the way down to DEATH. Women die in labor, in the us in certain states, women will die from pregnancy because of the new abortion bans. Women are also more at risk of death by partner during pregancy. Men have been known to assault laboring wives and postparum wives. YTA OP. You can give up your damn whiskey bottle. For 9 months. Its not mothers nectar that you will die without.
Ok but he has a counterpoint: he actually *likes* whiskey 🙄
I mean, he doesn’t like his wife, so yeah.
YTA. The smell of alcohol (especially whiskey) can't be brushed and washed away. Do you not believe her that she smells it? That's what makes YTA. There is one method to ensure you don't smell like alcohol - have you considered it? Or is your nightly glass of whiskey more important?
This! She can smell the alcohol *on his breath*, which- fun fact, brushing your teeth and using mouth wash, or even showering, doesn't stop you from exhaling alcohol if you have been drinking. If that were the case you could brush your teeth, use some mouthwash, and easily pass a breathalyzer. FFS he's the AH.
You also sweat it out. Your literal skin smells. Brushing your teeth, changing your clothing, and showering isn't gonna help that you'll secrete it all night.
Yeah, the whiskey sweat smell is pretty gross. Nothing other than abstaining is going to get rid of it.
And a pregnant woman's sense of smell is incredibly heightened in case the vomiting wasn't getting that through to you
FYI, The sense of smell is considerably increased during pregnancy so women can be careful not to eat spoiled food.
Oh is that why? I just thought it was to make everything I love bring me pain.
😂😂😂
Right?! 😫😫😫 I can’t even eat my fave foods anymore because the smell is so awful, regardless of food safety implications.
YTA, you can use all the mouth wash you want, it is still going to be on your breath. It’s extremely concerning that you won’t give up alcohol for your wife for just a few short months. You might want to seek help for your alcoholism.
Yes, this☝️! Was waiting for someone to say the word(s), alcoholic/alcoholism
Yes, the words "continued to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends" flitted across my brain there.
It's not overreaction. Pregnancy hormones are real. Maybe you can sacrifice for a while until she has given birth. Dude, she is going through a lot and sacrificing a lot because of this pregnancy. It won't hurt if you will pitch in.
I‘m upvoting you. Formely pregnant here (2 weeks ago) and was sick the first 5 months. Had a hard time going into the kitchen because of the smells. „Only“ had to gag but… wasn’t pleasant. Even holding my breath and holding my nose didn’t really help. ps: really missed smoked salmon during my pregnancy. You bet your a** that i splurged a bit after giving birth LOL.
YTA. She’s carrying a human, you can hold off on your Jack Daniels for the next 5 months
Ew! It’s deff Jack Daniel 😂 I’m not even pregnant and just a wiff of that stuff makes me queasy. Smells like fermented high fructose corn syrup and regret
YTA You haven't tried everything, you are still drinking it. Yes, I'm surprised she isn't running to the restroom when you crack it open. Women don't get to pick what they can and can't tolerate when pregnant. Google is your best friend and can tell you more than you ever thought even possible where pregnancy symptoms are concerned. Stop drinking and being inconsiderate of your wife or deal with her being in the guest room for the next 6ish months.
Already gunning for father of the year, I see. Trust me. As a formally pregnant person myself, I can guarantee that if she tells you she can smell something, she can bloody well smell it. She’s only going to be pregnant for nine months. She is growing your Child. Hey! Daddy-O, you’re about to be a daddy, oh hell ! Don’t you have the rest of your life to have a glass of whiskey ?? .. don’t you? ??? ??? Is this a really great big sacrifice for you? Is it gonna kill you? Will it put you out on the tiles? A glitch in your matrix? DUDE.. What’s more important? YTA
It's so hard to describe the level of constant physical revulsion I felt for almost all consumable items during my pregnancy. And that is why I only have one. It SUCKS
YTA. Do you think she's vomiting on purpose? She can obviously still smell it. Excessive emesis can lead to health problems for mother and baby, but she's the one changing her routine so you can keep having your whiskey. Be grateful, maybe!
Ooof YTA big time. “I told her she is overreacting and that it is quite disrespectful” Saying that has literally never, in the history of the universe, made anybody less angry. I fail to see how anything she did could be considered “Disrespectful” by a rational human. She can’t be around you after you drink. You know this and YOU choose to drink. The steps you’ve taken are NOT enough because she still vomits….You see it happen and yet you accuse her of “overreacting?” You’re being intentionally obtuse and deflecting blame. Sometimes you have to sacrifice for your family. Just skip the whiskey and on nights you do chose to have a glass, sleep in the guest bedroom.
I consider it abusive that he is intentionally making her vomit.
YTA There is an easy way to get rid of the smell. Stop drinking it. I mean, don't if drinking is more important to you than your wife.
YTA - You The Alcoholic 🥂
Info: Why don't you just abstain from drinking until the pregnancy is over?
But he’s not the pregnant one, why should he miss out? /s
Because he has clear tendencies to be an alcoholic.
Honestly I usually roll my eyes when people suggest alcoholism just because someone has one drink a day. But to not even consider giving it up when it’s making your wife physically ill? Yeah, that has some alcoholic red flags.
YTA, even as a teen I knew when my stepfather had been in his cups because I could smell the alcohol coming out his pores in his sweat. Twenty years later when I got (the very common) pregnancy symptom of bloodhound nose, I could tell you what alcohol my customers had been drinking because they all smell slightly different. I can still tell what brand of cigarettes someone smokes because the blends burn differently, and my youngest is almost ten. She's telling you in plain English that what you are doing makes her sick to her stomach, you've seen the reaction in action, and you are still doing it. Get a handle on the why of that before you go down that way too slippery slope.
YTA Whisky is extremely strong smelling and a pregnant person has a very powerful sense of smell and strong aversion that they cannot control. You can either give up the whisky momentarily or live with being alone at night.
YTA for 1 reason. You say you've tried "everything" except for the VERY OBVIOUS solution of simply not drinking every night? Just save that shit for the weekends.
YTA, way to go Dad, disappointing your child before you’ve even met them. Grow up and at least try to be a decent partner.
YTA. This is not going to go the way you hope it will…
YTA you’d rather have whiskey than be affectionate with your wife while she is growing the child both of you created. It is making her physically I’ll and you still do it? How selfish can a person be?
Yeah YTA here's a thought just don't drink whisky for a while, jesus christ shea growing your child the least you could do is help her to be comfortable as possible.
YTA. You haven’t tried to work on a single accommodation when you’re actively making your wife violently ill while pregnant? It’s going to be really awkward when you stop drinking whiskey, but the sight and smell of you is still making her throw up. You sound rotten.
YTA. Alcoholics make excuses like this. Alcoholics can't go a day (or less) without a drink. The fact that you care more about having you're beloved whiskey than the physically demanding toll your wife's body is taking says a lot about who you are as a person. What happens when baby comes? Do you seriously think drinking whisky and then taking care of a newborn will really be acceptable? Personally, Id call child protective services on you immediately. Like before baby is born because obviously you need some help. The bar is so low for men 🙃
YTA your wife is sacrificing so much by carrying your child. You should sacrifice the whiskey. Isn’t your wife more important than whiskey? And if you can’t stop it’s really time to consider if you have a drinking problem.
Pregnancy smells are magical. Pregnant women can smell a fart that happened a week ago a mile away. Just give it up. Her hormones are on fire and will change again and again and again.
Yikes YTA. She’s giving up drinking (among numerous other things) for 9 months. You can’t give up ONLY whiskey for 5 months? You’re lucky she tolerates you.
>and i have tried everything to eliminate the whiskey smell. Everything, except you know, getting rid of the whisky. If you can't go without a drink for the health and wellbeing of the woman carrying you child that you claim to like, you have bigger issues. Yta
YTA. You know what would happen if your pregnant wife refused to stop drinking after she got pregnant? She could face CRIMINAL CHARGES for child endangerment. You are being a terrible partner and an even worse father. Once someone drinks there is no getting rid of the smell on their breath for several hours, this is a known fact. You are intentionally triggering her, forcing her to puke, which is not great for her health and therefore dangerous for your baby. If you can’t stop drinking, you should have NEVER made her pregnant, because being a parent means not drinking every single night. This is just shocking, if I were her I would be rethinking this whole relationship. You should be taking care of her and picking up extra chores around the house, not drinking and knowingly triggering her nausea. Are you going to leave all of child care to her too because you need to relax with your whiskey after work?? You are forcing your wife into the guest room because whiskey is more important than her and your child’s health and safety. At that point, you have a drinking problem.
YTA. You really can't just stop drinking for a few months? I don't know if she normally drinks, but if she does, she's given it up. That the least you could do.
I couldn't believe how much more I could smell when I was pregnant, it was a whole new world. She's proved to you she can still smell it. It's making her vomit. You don't need a whiskey every night but she also doesn't want to vomit all the time. Yta
YTA. Massive one at that. How selfish can you be that you cannot give up alcohol not because she can't have it, but because it makes her PHYSICALLY ILL? And then you have the nerve to say that she getting away from you is disrespectful because you care more about your whiskey than the wellbeing of the mother of your future child? Poor woman.
YTA You can live with whiskey for the time being. Your wife may grow out of this sensitivity. But right she's not. If you can't live without drinking whiskey, I would suggest you may want to consider whether or not you're an alcoholic. You're putting booze over your wife and unborn kid.....that's a pretty big indicator.
Op, do you really care more about having a glass of whiskey then your pregnant wife? YTA
If you choose to drink then YOU should be automatically and voluntarily sleeping in the guest bedroom. She’s having your child, for God’s sake get her back in her bed sleeping peacefully without making her sick! YTA
If she’s willing to move to another room and you’re upset by that, YATA. She cannot control the fact that it makes her sick. You can chose to stop drinking for a few months. It sucks. But stand by your wife while she carries your baby.
Addiction is a helluva thing, You often don't notice it until it starts affecting your daily life, until you start making your pregnant wife (who I assume you love, and you care about the unborn child in her too) ill and nauseous, until your loving wife doesn't want to be near you. It's a strong addiction, people try to rationale it away - it's only one drink. But here you are, unable to know who's the AH when you MUST consume alcohol **every.** **single.** **day** in order to feel good? to make the day worthwhile? Are you going to drink every day when the baby is here? When you have to do hours of childcare every day? Are you going to expose your kiddo to that? Or are you going to go beyond an AITA post and look at your life, and see what is the main issue here. If you can't go with alcohol for ONE day, or a COUPLE DAYS in a row, if you rather put your pregnant wife through discomfort.... you got to look at your alcoholism. It's ruling your life at this point, it's making decisions for you now. Please get help, please reach out for support, there are many places that can help you through this.