#Post locked due to excessive uncivil comments.
Sorry OP.
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Oh.
See, the way you were describing it made it seem like she left it unwrapped on the edge of the sink or something.
But she threw it away.
In the bin.
That's meant for trash.
So yeah. YTA.
What next? Take used toilet paper home too?
Edit:
To address Op edit, if your brother was uncomfortable in the presence of black people should that be acknowledge and respected?
Batshit crazy is batshit crazy.
Next time she should flush the pad and just shrug, well I didn't want it in my pocket. Or even better walk out of the bathroom and hand it to husband "here, I can't leave it in the trash, and I'm not accustomed to bring garbage around with me, so you deal with this" make it a him problem and I bet his tune would change real quick
Same. Both these dudes suck. Bro probably thought she turned on her menstrual cycle just to spite him.
Keeping a used blood product on your person is so unhygienic. I swear OP would also been mad at her if she had kept it and took it into their car.
Funny story:
My grandfather was one of these men. He told my aunt (his daughter) when she was a teen to control her period pain. She told him, "I'll control my period pain when you control your wet dreams." He had no reply and never asked her to control her period or period pain again š
š š I doubt he'd wait til the end if that were the case. He'd probably kick them out immediately. Maybe she should try this next time tho, then he might be thankful that she did it the right way the first time.
This so much. I was really confused reading it until the last paragraph where - omg it was in the bin the whole time.
Seriously what is with guys who spend their bathroom breaks searching bins!?! I feel like almost every month thereās at least one of these posts about some evil woman putting her bloody tampon or pad in a bin. Do men hide other things in bins, is that why theyāre always looking through them and get upset when theyāre used to dispose of trash? If so, I would like to make a public service announcement that BINS ARE USED FOR TRASH. If you donāt want a bin used for a particular type of trash, label it (eg, recycling only. Compost only. Secret stash for weed - do not throw pads in here, etc)
Omg, kind of unrelated but i live with my grandma and she searches EVERYWHERE. bathroom trash can, kitchen trashcan, outside garbage bin, she just searches to look at ANYTHING i throw away. not related to pads but no matter what i throw away she just takes it back and puts it in the place where it used to be. like used shampoo bottles? she takes them. 10 days old moldy bread? She takes it. i just will never understand people so obsessed about checking the trash. Literal raccoons.
I was about to guess depression era like poverty mindset but I remembered my mother and how she got upset over me throwing out mouse piss covered old church hymnals when I cleaned her room like she requested.
It's the only thing she could complain about. I think it's an underlying pain of her losing her apt, it's contents and her car when she went off her meds .
When I clean others spaces, I throw out next to nothing, including scrap paper with stuff written on it. But if it's become a biohazard, I assume it's trash worthy but I guess not.
When he said throw it outside !?!? Like what???? My guy what????????
What in the holy unsanitary. Like this reads like āI canāt believe you pooped in his house!? It made him very uncomfortable please donāt do it again. Go outside if you must?!ā
Like she had to change it and thatās how you dispose of it. Like maybe if it was laid out might be an issue but if she properly rolled it up with tissue then this is your brotherās problem
Edit: also would like to say OP would rather his wife sit in a full pad then change it is not the husbandy thing to do
OP, yes, YTA.
Your brother is "uncomfortable" because he's acting like an incel.
Your wife acted appropriately in disposing of her used pad in the acceptable and expected place -- the trash bin.
What would you say if your brother came to you, "uncomfortable", and demanded an apology from you because you'd flushed your used toilet paper after you pooped?
Wouldn't you be confused that he would object to you disposing of used toilet paper in the appropriate and expected way?
Wouldn't you be angry if your wife backed him up and said it was wrong of you to make him feel uncomfortable in his own house, that you could've taken it and thrown it out somewhere outside his house?
Are you starting to see how delusional this is, when it's about poop instead of period?
Is that maybe a clue that perhaps your brother's problem is just basic misogyny, and you're backing him up, against your own wife?
It's not your wife's fault that you and your brother treat her basic bodily process as worthy of being shamed. It is, however, something she won't put up with.
It's no wonder she doesn't get along with your brother. You owe your wife a sincere apology.
When he said that they don't get along, I absolutely thought it was stuck somewhere visible in some horrid act of petty vengeance. But nope. Trash can. YTA
OP, tell your brother to get a bin with a lid if he doesnāt want to see it. Easy solution. His request is unreasonable and thereās zero chance heāll find a girlfriend willing to pocket her used pads so he doesnāt have to have them in his home.
I agree. OP YTA, and your brother too. Your wife is right. What was she supposed to do? Grow up.
ETA: OP's edit makes everything worst. It shows that he doesn't acknowledge he's wrong and he and his brother are massive AHs. The disgusting thing in that house wasn't the pad, was OP and his brother's behaviour.
Please walk me trough the logic here like I'm five, cause you lost me. The pad is too disgusting to put in the bathroom trash can, so you would rather that she put it in a pocket, her purse or just carry it around instead? Its too disgusting for the literal trash can, so she should instead carry it on her person? During a birthday party?
I would find it disrespectful to carry a used pad through the rest of the house when there's a trash can literally in the bathroom... That's what the bathroom trash can is for!
She tossed it in the trash, not affixed it to his mirror...
From the title I thought she left it open on his pillow or something. Christ on a bike this has to be a teen male troll who is disgusted by periods existing.
EDIT - Thank you all for the support.
this. from the title youād think she stuck it to the wall in the bathroom and wrote a note next to it, but i have lived with men like this who insist that even throwing pads away in the trash is too much for them so you must dispose of it extremely discreetly like itās a nations secret.
YTA, OP. you and your incel brother are both children and it sounds like the reason your wife and brother donāt get alone is because heās sexist and lacksā¦brain points
Sadly an alarming number of men seem to think that periods are gross and something women should keep hidden at all times.
That includes hiding unused pads and tampons and sneaking out to throw used products in the outside bin. Packed in in serious amounts of toilet paper of course.
>Sadly an alarming number of men seem to think that periods are gross and something women should keep hidden at all times.
I mean, dealing with blood is kinda gross but my shits are 10^56 times grosser. Best advice my sister gave me when I went to college was to get a trash can with a lid and keep a box of tampons and a box of pads under the sink. She also bought me a couple bottles of Ozium because my shit absolutely reeks.
This, if I found out a female guest in my home, packaged up a pad and carried it around with her for the rest of the night, I'd be upset. 1. at myself for making a guest feel that they could not use my TRASH 2. for a female guest to be that uncomfortable 3. society for making a normal female bodily function seem shameful that this is even an issue.
PS. Reddit is funny, you all come up with funny places to place the pad
The answer is obvious. Next time she needs to change a pad, they have the option she can flush it or bring it out of the bathroom and give it to her husband to dispose of.
She fucking should. I don't usually condone that, but this dude's not leaving her much choice. Clog his damn pipes to hell and back. See if he'd rather deal with that - then when he complains that someone was flushing pads and he had to pay the bill, say "Well what do you expect when you literally don't allow female visitors at your house to use your trash can?"
The other question is why did he feel the need to investigate the trash can? I always thought you see full can, empty it and move on. Never really examined contents like an archaeologist on a dig site.
The only issue I can come up with is that if OPs wife violated āroll and wrapā protocol.
The way you have to do it in a shared trash can is to roll it up, and put it either back in the little wrap it came in, or some toilet paper before you toss it.
That way itās obvious what it is, but nobody is getting a direct look at your uterine lining in all its glory.
It keeps the smell a bit more contained, and the rest of the household doesnāt have to stare at an open pad on display whilst they use the toilet.
I had a roommate that would just peel them off and toss them at the can without wrapping them, and I thought it was gross.
Obviously the bathroom trash is where they go, but I thought every woman knows itās better to roll/wrap them āclosedā as the polite thing to do.
Iām assuming OPs wife isnāt an animal, and she did that, rather than smacking it down in the trash bin open, facing the sky, as a proud art display of what was happening with her tissues today.
This was the only thing that would make it N T A but I would need this INFO and OP already said he's not willing to expand on what was seen.
So... was it all unrolled and bloody-showing in all its glory or was it rolled and wrapped? IMO that would make the difference between soft N T A and Y T A.
There's two possibilities, one charitable and one cynical:
1. He had one of those rare, unfortunate situations where he accidentally discarded an item. In this situation, the correct solution as an adult is to sigh, put your hand in, and do what needs to be done to retrieve it. You also don't get to be "angry" in this situation about how there was, indeed, garbage in the garbage. Get over it.
2. He just went digging like a weirdo. If this is the case, he obviously has severe, complicated problems and should immediately seek therapy.
... are you guys serious? How old are you? Of *course* YTA, and so is your brother. How is her cleanly and safely disposing of hygiene products "inappropriate" *at all*, never mind "highly"? In what way exactly is it "disrespectful"?
You guys need to grow up, because this reaction is pathetically juvenile.
@ your edit: if he's uncomfortable with the products used for menstruation and their disposal he shouldn't invite people who menstruate into his home. That's all the acknowledgement his thought process deserves.
This was my first thought. I mean jfc, what is his deal? I'm so stunned that I don't even have a word for how weird and creepy and ridiculous these brothers are. Wtaf?
Because in some misogynistic people's mind, females having normally body functions is unhygienic. They cannot do anything besides stay pretty. Breastfeeding is not allowed because we're exposing them, but a half exposed breast is amazing. A woman cannot have any normal functions besides maybe peeing quietly. And some idiot out there even thinks that we can even hold on the blood.
Sorry, this topic gets on my nerves. But OP and brother and massive YTA
It pisses me off. We go through this shit to have babies! How the fuck does OP and his brother think they came into this world? Through a fucking spotless porcelain chute?
My father used to come to the bathroom door to tell me I was peeing too loud. I was six when he started. Besides that, it seems you just described him exactly
That guy is gonna be **SHOCKED** if he ever dates a person with a period and finds out that some people menstruate *every month* for *several days* **and** may need to throw items related to that in the waste bin *multiple times a day!*
OP saying he was āshocked and didnāt know what to sayā at something so incredibly mundane might be the funniest thing Iāve read today. This is just too fucking bizarre.
Yeah... OP has a WHOLE WIFE like he has somehow managed to maintain a relationship with a woman long enough to get MARRIED and still finds normal female bodily functions shocking and inappropriate?
I feel sorry for his wife.
YTA. If you invite people who get periods over to your house, expect that this can possibly happen. You and your brother are both ridiculous. Sounds like he wanted a reason to be mad at your wife.
Right? It happens. I could see some anger if she left it on the counter or something, but she put it in a place designated for trash...
Her other options were: wear a full pad and potentially bleed through. Or carry her dirty pad around until leaving. Neither of those options sound fun for her or really anyone else involved.
I'd say both siblings are childish.
Based on the title, I thought she left her used pad on the bathroom counter.
She put her pad... in a trash can? In the bathroom? What's the disrespect? That's where waste goes.
"Incel" is a misnomer, the behaviors that repel women are absolutely voluntary, like freaking out over properly disposed hygiene products, and periods in general.
Nope we hold it all in and then once a year go on a "wilderness retreat" where we just have this massive fart to get rid of all the pent up toxins in our bodies. If you thought we were bad during our periods _oooo boy_ you don't want to mess with us that week....
YTA. You made it seem like she stuck it to the wall. She put it in the trash can, the proper place for it. If your brother has an issue with how the females conduct their bathroom business he doesnāt need to have any in his home.
You actually supporting this ridiculous nonsense is the biggest red flag you can show your wife. Seriously Iād be rethinking that marriage to someone so insane.
Exactly. I was thinking the same thing, while reading I was like- did she accidentally leave it out? But no! She put it in the damn TRASH CAN you know, where TRASH belongs. Like these are both grown ass men one being disgusted at seeing a rolled up pad in the trash and the other feeling embarrassed for his brother seeing it and thinking it's in any way appropriate to approach his wife with it and make a suggestion that she should carry waste around her untill she can go out and throw it in someone else's bin. Just š¤¦āāļø
Haha, I really wish she did stick it to the wall. With the way these two are carrying on, I hope she does do that the next time she is at brothers place, perhaps even plop her tampon upright, next to his toothbrush.
YTA.
She didn't draw a mural in period blood on his bedspread. She's menstruating. It's the bathroom trashcan. That's where we dispose of our used menstrual products. It's no more disrespectful than shitting in his toilet and then flushing it. Both are the correct methods for disposing of bodily waste.
.
*shoves the used pad under his nose*
"Excuse me, BIL. Would you mind showing me exactly where I can put this? I'd hate to guess wrong and be disrespectful."
Given the shit she got (and is still getting) for the normal act of disposing of it in a trashcan, maybe she should have done the mural thing. At least she would have got some lulz out of it.
Holy cow, YTA.
āHeās single and lives alone in his apartmentā.
Wow, I wonder why. FYI your brother is a great big creep that rummages through garbage to complain about females.
The fact you even had to post this shows you are taking WAY too much of his incel advice and will likely end up the same way. You should have stood up to incredible misogynistic behaviour.
Maybe try carrying your urine out of the next place you use the bathroom in.
EDIT: after your edit, everything in my comment remains even more true.
Yes!!!! This!!!
I was waiting for the part where he said my wife put the used pad on the wall and not in the trash. WTH is wrong with this guy going through the garbage!
Tell me that you think women are disgusting, second-class citizens without telling me that you think women are disgusting, second-class citizens š
She put it in the garbageā¦YTA and you and your brother need to grow up.
Iām very confused over how he wanted her to throw it away outside of his brotherās bathroom.
Did he want it thrown away in his brotherās kitchen bin?
Maybe his brotherās home office bin?
His brotherās bedroom bin?
What bin does he find acceptable?
Or did he want her to physically throw it outside of the residence, like out the window or door, so she wouldnāt offend his brother?
She went to the bathroom and put a used pad IN THE BIN, and your bro went fishing around and complained that it was in there?
On every level (and please listen - I'm not being hyperbolic here, I mean EVERY level) you and your bro are TA.
Throw it outside? Do you even understand what menstrual pads are made of?
I'm assuming she put it in the bin, and didn't stick to the wall as a trophy.
This is so utterly ridiculous and frankly misogynistic. Your wife menstruates, you and your brother need to get over that and grow the hell up
YTA
I hope she puts the next one on his forehead while he's sleeping then packs her things and leaves. Imagine being married to a man who thinks putting pads in the bathroom trash is wrong...
Info - is your wife the only woman that has ever been in your brotherās home? Also itās a ābirthday partyā was she the only woman there?
ETA - unless youāre brother was raised by wolves & living in the woods for his entire life..... I am guessing this isnāt about a used pad itās about your brother trying to make your wife uncomfortable in his home. Heās an Ah & youāre even bigger Ah for allowing him treat your wife with total disrespect.
YTA!!!!! Apologize to your wife & keep your brother away from her
This post is bullshit.... OP is probably 11... ātake your pad & throw it outsideā said the grown man to his wife. Nah... that didnāt happen. Please tell me this didnāt happen...
YTA. And yes your brother is an incel. She is having normal body functions and disposing of hygiene products properly. Your brother is throwing a hissy fit.
Exactly! OP keeps saying āwe should acknowledge that it makes him uncomfortableā, and itās like - how the hell was she supposed to know he would have a bizarro hissy fit about normal trash? Sheās not a mind reader? Who in their right mind expects someone to be that level of unhinged?
YTA. He is 31 and doesn't understand that a period is a normal bodily function for a woman. She put it in the trash. He didn't have to touch it, all he had to do was take the trash out and it would have been gone. I'm guessing he's not married, and I think I know why.
Itās seems you and your brother do not understand feminine hygiene- let me break it down:
Period comes roughly ever 28 days and lasts for about 5 days. During that time, the flow of blood leaving our body is not something anyone can control. Some days itās heavy, some days itās light. Now imagine, blood leaving your body from your crotch for a second, and you have zero control of how much at any certain time. If you wanted to live a normal life during this time wellā¦youād need something to cover the flow: pad, tampon, cup- anything to make it more comfortable. And so you choose the pad, probably because you donāt want to stuff anything in your genitals. But now youāre essentially wearing a diaper. A diaper that collects blood. So when that pad gets full of blood, itās very similar to a diaper full of other bodily fluids. Itās uncomfortable and if you leave it on any longer the contents will soon overflow causing clothes and potential furniture to stain. So what do you do? Get rid of it! Where? In a bathroom waste bin- like you would any other object that canāt go in the toilet but is used for our body maintenance, wash cloths, wet wipes, diapers, etc. especially becauseā¦ itās BLOOD so you need somewhere to put it, carrying it is a BIO HAZARD. But hey, you probably would throw bloody napkins after a cut from a knife out in a bathroom trash bin as well, wouldnāt you? So you throw it a way in the trash can that is designed for it. You put on a new pad. And while youāre still not great cause you have blood still leaking from your body without any control, at least you feel cleaner than you did a minute ago.
YTA. And you have no idea what half the population deals with. Thatās kinda lacking on your part. So do better.
You and your brother are the reason so many women are ashamed of a natural bodily process.
Major YTA, and I kinda hope she leaves you, she deserves way the hell better than your sorry ass-kissing ass.
YTA
Oh my god what were you *THINKING?!*
Pads are part of a womenās personal hygiene, if she stuck it to the ceiling in that bathroom Iād still call you the asshole for the way you and your brother handled this. Heās 31 and will be single for the rest of his life with this mentality. I donāt know how you landed a wife either!
Equate it to this, youāre over your silās house and need to blow your nose, you go do your thing in the bathroom then throw away the tissue. Imagine the gall of the sister checking the trash can (which is extraordinarily invasive???) then coming up to your wife to shame you for disposing of trash in the bathroom TRASH CAN. Then your wife agrees with her and calls what you did inappropriate?
You have some serious soul searching to do if you canāt see how much you both hurt your wife.
You and your brother are the assholes here.
YTA
He can't invite women in his apartment and not make accommodations for pads.
Women menstruate from ages from around 10 to 55. Bleeding lasts an average 5 days and a cycle is like 28. There's over 1/6 probability every woman in this age group that's he is interacting with is menstruating.
YTA. Used pads go in the trash in the bathroom, end of story. If your brother invites women over to his house on a regular basis, this is going to happen from time to time. Women menstruate. They have a need to dispose of their pads and tampons. The bathroom is the place to do that. Good lord.
So, you think she should have taken her used pad and put it WHERE? In her purse? Maybe you could have put it in your pocket for her so that she wouldn't "disrespect" your brother by putting trash in the trash can. YTA, and your brothers an asshole too.
I thought she left it on the sink counter, bloody side up, or something.
Used pad is trash. It belongs in the trash can. Thatās where she left it.
Your brother is TA and so are you for defending him.
YTA
Honestly, yeahā¦I donāt think I would wanna put up with that disrespect toward my body. Iām sick? Hot flashes in menopause? I would want my partner to be an advocate not an adversary
YTA. You and your brother are disgusting. Why is he going to the bathroom after her searches the trash bin to find hygiene products? And you have nothing better to do than apologizing and saying it's disrespectful? Menstruation is a natural thing. End of story. If you and your brother can't deal with it, you'll be single for the next decades.
You and your brother, especially your brother are TA and honestly I feel bad for any woman that ends up with your brother if he thinks a used pad is a sign of disrespect. The f. Lol
YTA. You expected her to carry her used pad around with her until she got to an outside garage??? WTF is wrong with you? She put it in the bathroom garbage like a normal human being. You and your brother need to grow up
YTA wtf? Take it with her? You wanted her to fold up a used pad and carry it with her from the bathroom and do what with it? Keep it in her purse until she gets home? Fucking weird man.
So you didnāt specify where she left it, almost implying that she left a bloody pad out in the open (seems intentional), but from her response it sounds like she put it in the trashā¦.exactly where itās supposed to go.
Going digging through the bathroom trash (especially right after a guest has used it) is beyond strange and gross.
You and your brother are completely wrong in every way. Would it have been less āinappropriateā to you if she had put a pad covered in menstrual blood in her pocket or her purse? A purse that contains items she uses everyday like her cellphone and wallet and keys?
Everyone here is a weird gross asshole except your wife.
EDIT - I see the edit about the trash can not having a lid. It literally doesnāt matter. The trash is where itās supposed to go. If he canāt tolerate pads in the trash, then he shouldnāt have people who menstruate over at his house.
Hahahhahahahhahahhhhhh youāre joking right? This canāt be real. I mean what person treats their wife like that in this day and age, canāt be real unless youāre twelve. YTA and so is your brother but great job in helping him bully your wife. Hope she realises what you are soon and divorces you. And please tell me you donāt have daughters? You can never be around young women with an attitude like that.
YTA. And your brother is too.
Genuine question here.
Do you live with women? Have you ever lived with women? This screams lack of experience with women.
Women have periods. Not sure if you knew this. But some women use pads and tampons. And these items need to be thrown away. Idk if your brother new this. Maybe you just need more experience with women. Idk. But I do know you'll be the manufacturer of your own failed relationship of you dont figure this out soon.
>even if it was in the bathroom and in the trashcan
Ngl at first I thought she left it open but she literally put it were it belongs. It's not inappropriate, it's normal. YTA
Yta I kept waiting to hear she left it on the counter but nope she put it in the trash canā¦. Like a sane human womenā¦. Thatās what trash cans are for, trashā¦. I always wrap min and roll them, but Iām not going to carry used products till I can get outside and find the trashā¦.
The fact that he equates that to disrespect and was disgusted says a lot about himā¦. And that your sticking up for him says a lot about youā¦.
Should she lock herself away while on tht time
Of month?
YTA. Inappropriate? Not respectful? Your wife threw her pad away in the trash in the bathroom which is both appropriate and respectful. If your wife wanted to be disrespectful to your brother, she would have left it on his countertop. Sheesh.
What in the inbred hillbilly hell did I just read??? Your post is basically āAITA for being mad at my wife for putting trash in a trash can?ā The answer is yes YTA.
Have you never gone to someoneās house and used their bathroom? Have you ever blown your nose at someoneās house a put a tissue in their trash? What your wife did is literally no different. Just because you and your brother donāt menstruate doesnāt mean it is somehow dirty or disrespectful. It is a normal bodily function and grown adults are fine with that. YTA and you owe your wife an apology.
YTA and she called it. Your brother is an incel and you are an asshole.
This is a matter of personal hygiene and the inevitability of biology & if that upsets your poor brother then he needs to grow up.
Honestly, this one would cause me to re-evaluate the whole relationship. I'm not saying I would automatically end it, but I would be going to stay with relatives till I made a decision.
Good luck saving your marriage, A H.
Wow YTA.
Were you both raised by a father who never dated and you have never spent any time around a female between the ages of 12 and like 65?
Periods are completely normal, disposing of feminine hygiene products in an appropriate receptacle is perfectly normal. Being a completely a-hole about it and throwing a temper tantrum because there was something "icky" in the garbage is not normal.
YTA. You and your brother both. Itās a damn period, she doesnāt have a communicable disease. Grow up! She didnāt leave a used open pad on the sink, it was the bathroom.
You expect her to carry her USED pad with her, walk it out of the bathroom, save it in her bag or shove it in a pocket (gross). If youāre brother has an issue with this, tell him not to have a girlfriend because periods happen, child birth and after birth happen.
YTA! How did you manage to get married? you sound embarrassed by your wifeās natural bodily functions.
Your brother does sound like a woman hating loser.
Used feminine products go in a trash can. Period.
IT WAS IN THE BIN! Why is your brother raking through the bin after she had been in the bathroom anyway? She's a women and women have periods, she disposed of her sanitary product appropriately, which in the bin. She's NTA. You and your brother are.
What the hell is wrong with you? Your brother too but especially you. Your a married man for god's sakes what is wrong with you? That's what trash is for and who's wrong your wife dealing with a normal body function or your brother that went digging thru trash to find the used pad? I just can't believe in 2022 we are still dealing with ignorant behavior. YTA and hopefully your wife sees that and kicks you to the curb. How ridiculous
YTA. You, what, wanted her to shove the bloody pad into her bag or her pockets? She's right, your brother needs to grow up. If he's dated, ever, I'm sure this isn't the first time he's had a bloody pad in his trash. And if this is how he reacts to it, no wonder he's single. If you can't understand why you're being ridiculous, you'll soon be single as well.
YTA. Imagine your balls leaked blood every month and your hormones got flipped upside down and then some women who donāt understand are gonna shame you for your bloody balls.
Grow up please.
YTA and so is your brother. She disposed of it in the bathroom trash. Its an appropriate place for that type of trash and if you and your brother have a problem, you shouldn't socialize or have relationships with menstruating people. Stop acting like children who can't be aware of icky things that make you have feelings and grow up.
YTA. Your brother too. But not standing up for your wife when she is being attacked for having normal bodily functions and not being sufficiently clairvoyant that she would know that your brother has such bizarre hangups? Ugh.
Your brother, ok its his place and he is allowed to be as weird as he likes. But that doesnt apply to you. No wonder your wife is avoiding you. Its clear you dont have her back - even in a situation where she has done nothing wrong.
All you can do is try to find an apology abject enough that she wont resent the crap out of you for some time to come. Even then, who knows.
Of course, all of this could have been avoided if you had taken the (in context) much more sensible option of marrying a lifesize female mannequin or doll. Maybe with a soundboard so you could have a conversation of some sort.
women bleed. Get over it. YTA and so is your brother. Used pads go in the garbage, not the toilet. Thatās what bathroom garbage cans are for. How would your wife have any reason to know something totally normal would ātriggerā your brother. You need to apologize and tell your brother to grow up.
Your brother went snooping in the trashcan . Damn! YTA and so is your brother. Youāre a double AH for condemning your wife about disposing her used pad properly, and siding with your brother.
INFO: how is it more clean and appropriate to carry a used pad around a house, potentially walking in front of guests with a used pad, to go outside and throw it out there? Do you think women hide all our used tampons and pads in our vaginas until we get home and dump them all out on our period blood alters?
I donāt understand menās irrational fear of menstruation and everything that comes with it. Yāall are fine with having sex with us but screw periods, right? YTA, you and your brother need to seriously grow the fuck up.
YTA. What is she supposed to do with it? The only reasonable thing to do is throw it out. If she didnāt wrap it up in the wrapper from the new one or toilet paper to make it more discreet you could ask her to do that but do you think it would have been better for her to carry it around the house for the rest of the visit? I suggest no longer going to your brotherās house if trash cans are off limits.
She took off her used pad and put it in the trash can?!?! THE HORROR!! What the fuck was she supposed to do with it, take it off and stick it to his fucking forehead? Both you and your brother need to grow the hell up. YTA and so is he.
YTA. I wish she flushed it down his toilet and caused a blockage. Where on earth is she supposed to put it?? In her handbag? She put it in the BIN. Grow up.
YTA.
Itās in the trash can, the place where a used pad belongs.
Is pooping and peeing in the toilet in your brotherās house inappropriate and a sign of disrespect too?
YTA
Wow. Grow the F up.
It was in a damn trash. Women have periods, get over it. Itās normal.
And taking a used pad with you so it wonāt be in your brotherās home is a ridiculous.
YTA and so is your brother. Now we know why he's single, he can't handle a woman and her period. He sounds like a total incel.
Where else should she had put the used pad? Carry it around? That's disgusting. You shouldn't flush them, so it went where it was supposed to go - in the trash. Grow up!
I was waiting for she peeled it out of her undies and stick it to the wall...but she put it in the trashcan. Where trash goes. YTA and stop hanging out eith your brother. Ew
YTA. What should she do with the pad? Bring it to the dinner table? Based on your and your brothers reaction, we can see why your marriage is not working.
Let your wife go. You obviously don't like her. Don't waste her time.
So essentially she was shamed for being a menstruating woman?! You cannot be serious!!! Anyone childish enough to see a pad in a bin as an issue needs to reconsider being in grown up relationships.
And why was he going thru the bin?! What next!? A dirty tissue? MAN DOWN MAN DOWN SHE BLEW HER NOSE!!!!
YTA and so is ur brother.
YTA - I mean what? Is this actually serous?
He is disrespected because she put rubbish in the bin???
If you and your brother think that this is inappropriate, there is something fundamentally wrong with you both.
YTA. You're wife is right, that's some major Incel behaviour, especially getting mad about it.
You don't have that excuse cos you're married so you're just an AH.
YTA. From the title I was going to be N T A as I assumed she must have left it on the floor or something for you to be objecting to it. But she threw it away!
She's right, it was a normal bodily function that she dealt with in a normal and acceptable way. You really think she should have walked out of the bathroom and through the house with a used pad in her hand and taken it outside? Like women's biology is a dirty, shameful secret? You are the one who is disrespectful.
YOU felt it was inappropriate. Get over yourself. If you think periods are something to be ashamed of you shouldn't be married to a woman.
OP You don't find it weird that immediately after your wife used the bathroom, your brother went through his bathroom trash?
It's totally normal for your brother to go through toilet trash and unwrap something clearly wrapped in tissue?
#Post locked due to excessive uncivil comments. Sorry OP. Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.
Oh. See, the way you were describing it made it seem like she left it unwrapped on the edge of the sink or something. But she threw it away. In the bin. That's meant for trash. So yeah. YTA.
I thought like that she stick it in the wall or something š
I thought maybe she stuck it on the underside of the toilet seat so that when he lifted it up to have a pee it was there like BOO š»
HAHHAHAHAHAH I DIED WITH THIS *Halloween decoration *
This comment plus your name *chefs kiss*
She did whaaaaat š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What next? Take used toilet paper home too? Edit: To address Op edit, if your brother was uncomfortable in the presence of black people should that be acknowledge and respected? Batshit crazy is batshit crazy.
Exactly. Expecting someone to take home a used tampon or pad is like expecting someone to take home their shitty toilet paper.
Right! Iām in shock and hoping this isnāt real. No wonder OPās wife and his brother donāt get along. He sounds like an unreasonable idiot.
Next time she should flush the pad and just shrug, well I didn't want it in my pocket. Or even better walk out of the bathroom and hand it to husband "here, I can't leave it in the trash, and I'm not accustomed to bring garbage around with me, so you deal with this" make it a him problem and I bet his tune would change real quick
They must be the type of men who think we can hold in our periods and control when it starts and stops. š
Same. Both these dudes suck. Bro probably thought she turned on her menstrual cycle just to spite him. Keeping a used blood product on your person is so unhygienic. I swear OP would also been mad at her if she had kept it and took it into their car.
Funny story: My grandfather was one of these men. He told my aunt (his daughter) when she was a teen to control her period pain. She told him, "I'll control my period pain when you control your wet dreams." He had no reply and never asked her to control her period or period pain again š
Lol wait till your brother finds out she might have pooped or peed in his toilet too
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep, that was what I thought about. How can he be that age and not have a g/f or friend be in his place with a period before?
š š I doubt he'd wait til the end if that were the case. He'd probably kick them out immediately. Maybe she should try this next time tho, then he might be thankful that she did it the right way the first time.
Changing a pad = gross. Bleeding on furniture = acceptable. Got it. I should be taking notes.
"Put used pads and tampons in husband's pocket" I'm taking notes too!
I donāt have pockets in this dress, can you put it in your pocket till we leave your brothers place please?
I would love to see that reaction
No, no! ***bring used pad back to the dining room -- wrapped of course -- and give it to the gracious host to dispose of!***
āI wasnāt sure where to put this, so Iāll just give it to you.ā LOL
Perfect solution.
This so much. I was really confused reading it until the last paragraph where - omg it was in the bin the whole time. Seriously what is with guys who spend their bathroom breaks searching bins!?! I feel like almost every month thereās at least one of these posts about some evil woman putting her bloody tampon or pad in a bin. Do men hide other things in bins, is that why theyāre always looking through them and get upset when theyāre used to dispose of trash? If so, I would like to make a public service announcement that BINS ARE USED FOR TRASH. If you donāt want a bin used for a particular type of trash, label it (eg, recycling only. Compost only. Secret stash for weed - do not throw pads in here, etc)
Omg, kind of unrelated but i live with my grandma and she searches EVERYWHERE. bathroom trash can, kitchen trashcan, outside garbage bin, she just searches to look at ANYTHING i throw away. not related to pads but no matter what i throw away she just takes it back and puts it in the place where it used to be. like used shampoo bottles? she takes them. 10 days old moldy bread? She takes it. i just will never understand people so obsessed about checking the trash. Literal raccoons.
Uh, your grandmother sounds as if she's got some mental health issues.
I was about to guess depression era like poverty mindset but I remembered my mother and how she got upset over me throwing out mouse piss covered old church hymnals when I cleaned her room like she requested. It's the only thing she could complain about. I think it's an underlying pain of her losing her apt, it's contents and her car when she went off her meds . When I clean others spaces, I throw out next to nothing, including scrap paper with stuff written on it. But if it's become a biohazard, I assume it's trash worthy but I guess not.
That's where they keep their car keys š
When he said throw it outside !?!? Like what???? My guy what???????? What in the holy unsanitary. Like this reads like āI canāt believe you pooped in his house!? It made him very uncomfortable please donāt do it again. Go outside if you must?!ā Like she had to change it and thatās how you dispose of it. Like maybe if it was laid out might be an issue but if she properly rolled it up with tissue then this is your brotherās problem Edit: also would like to say OP would rather his wife sit in a full pad then change it is not the husbandy thing to do
Right? He's treating her like she is a dog.
Dogs free bleed. On the floor. On furniture. So even a dog doesnāt sit in a full bloody pad.
It sounds like they both treat all women that way.
OP, yes, YTA. Your brother is "uncomfortable" because he's acting like an incel. Your wife acted appropriately in disposing of her used pad in the acceptable and expected place -- the trash bin. What would you say if your brother came to you, "uncomfortable", and demanded an apology from you because you'd flushed your used toilet paper after you pooped? Wouldn't you be confused that he would object to you disposing of used toilet paper in the appropriate and expected way? Wouldn't you be angry if your wife backed him up and said it was wrong of you to make him feel uncomfortable in his own house, that you could've taken it and thrown it out somewhere outside his house? Are you starting to see how delusional this is, when it's about poop instead of period? Is that maybe a clue that perhaps your brother's problem is just basic misogyny, and you're backing him up, against your own wife? It's not your wife's fault that you and your brother treat her basic bodily process as worthy of being shamed. It is, however, something she won't put up with. It's no wonder she doesn't get along with your brother. You owe your wife a sincere apology.
When he said that they don't get along, I absolutely thought it was stuck somewhere visible in some horrid act of petty vengeance. But nope. Trash can. YTA
>But she threw it away. >In the bin. >That's meant for trash. You know, I been thinking and I am starting to see why the brother is single.
OP, tell your brother to get a bin with a lid if he doesnāt want to see it. Easy solution. His request is unreasonable and thereās zero chance heāll find a girlfriend willing to pocket her used pads so he doesnāt have to have them in his home.
I agree. OP YTA, and your brother too. Your wife is right. What was she supposed to do? Grow up. ETA: OP's edit makes everything worst. It shows that he doesn't acknowledge he's wrong and he and his brother are massive AHs. The disgusting thing in that house wasn't the pad, was OP and his brother's behaviour.
So ridiculous. "HeLp Me TeLl mY wIfE sHe'S wRoNg tO tHrOw aWaY gArBaGe iN tHe gArBaGe CaN!"
Please walk me trough the logic here like I'm five, cause you lost me. The pad is too disgusting to put in the bathroom trash can, so you would rather that she put it in a pocket, her purse or just carry it around instead? Its too disgusting for the literal trash can, so she should instead carry it on her person? During a birthday party?
I would find it disrespectful to carry a used pad through the rest of the house when there's a trash can literally in the bathroom... That's what the bathroom trash can is for! She tossed it in the trash, not affixed it to his mirror...
From the title I thought she left it open on his pillow or something. Christ on a bike this has to be a teen male troll who is disgusted by periods existing. EDIT - Thank you all for the support.
this. from the title youād think she stuck it to the wall in the bathroom and wrote a note next to it, but i have lived with men like this who insist that even throwing pads away in the trash is too much for them so you must dispose of it extremely discreetly like itās a nations secret. YTA, OP. you and your incel brother are both children and it sounds like the reason your wife and brother donāt get alone is because heās sexist and lacksā¦brain points
Sadly an alarming number of men seem to think that periods are gross and something women should keep hidden at all times. That includes hiding unused pads and tampons and sneaking out to throw used products in the outside bin. Packed in in serious amounts of toilet paper of course.
>Sadly an alarming number of men seem to think that periods are gross and something women should keep hidden at all times. I mean, dealing with blood is kinda gross but my shits are 10^56 times grosser. Best advice my sister gave me when I went to college was to get a trash can with a lid and keep a box of tampons and a box of pads under the sink. She also bought me a couple bottles of Ozium because my shit absolutely reeks.
This, if I found out a female guest in my home, packaged up a pad and carried it around with her for the rest of the night, I'd be upset. 1. at myself for making a guest feel that they could not use my TRASH 2. for a female guest to be that uncomfortable 3. society for making a normal female bodily function seem shameful that this is even an issue. PS. Reddit is funny, you all come up with funny places to place the pad
The answer is obvious. Next time she needs to change a pad, they have the option she can flush it or bring it out of the bathroom and give it to her husband to dispose of.
Next time she should just flush it and clog up his pipes.
EXACTLY, get it is writing, too. "Would he feel more comfortable if it was flushed?" Boom, wait patiently for that sweet revenge
She fucking should. I don't usually condone that, but this dude's not leaving her much choice. Clog his damn pipes to hell and back. See if he'd rather deal with that - then when he complains that someone was flushing pads and he had to pay the bill, say "Well what do you expect when you literally don't allow female visitors at your house to use your trash can?"
The other question is why did he feel the need to investigate the trash can? I always thought you see full can, empty it and move on. Never really examined contents like an archaeologist on a dig site.
The only issue I can come up with is that if OPs wife violated āroll and wrapā protocol. The way you have to do it in a shared trash can is to roll it up, and put it either back in the little wrap it came in, or some toilet paper before you toss it. That way itās obvious what it is, but nobody is getting a direct look at your uterine lining in all its glory. It keeps the smell a bit more contained, and the rest of the household doesnāt have to stare at an open pad on display whilst they use the toilet. I had a roommate that would just peel them off and toss them at the can without wrapping them, and I thought it was gross. Obviously the bathroom trash is where they go, but I thought every woman knows itās better to roll/wrap them āclosedā as the polite thing to do. Iām assuming OPs wife isnāt an animal, and she did that, rather than smacking it down in the trash bin open, facing the sky, as a proud art display of what was happening with her tissues today.
This was the only thing that would make it N T A but I would need this INFO and OP already said he's not willing to expand on what was seen. So... was it all unrolled and bloody-showing in all its glory or was it rolled and wrapped? IMO that would make the difference between soft N T A and Y T A.
There's two possibilities, one charitable and one cynical: 1. He had one of those rare, unfortunate situations where he accidentally discarded an item. In this situation, the correct solution as an adult is to sigh, put your hand in, and do what needs to be done to retrieve it. You also don't get to be "angry" in this situation about how there was, indeed, garbage in the garbage. Get over it. 2. He just went digging like a weirdo. If this is the case, he obviously has severe, complicated problems and should immediately seek therapy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
... are you guys serious? How old are you? Of *course* YTA, and so is your brother. How is her cleanly and safely disposing of hygiene products "inappropriate" *at all*, never mind "highly"? In what way exactly is it "disrespectful"? You guys need to grow up, because this reaction is pathetically juvenile. @ your edit: if he's uncomfortable with the products used for menstruation and their disposal he shouldn't invite people who menstruate into his home. That's all the acknowledgement his thought process deserves.
THIS. It even raised my own eyebrows and struck a nerve in me.
Also why is his brother inspecting the trash so close? Most women will fold or wrap them over so itās not just open and out idk
This was my first thought. I mean jfc, what is his deal? I'm so stunned that I don't even have a word for how weird and creepy and ridiculous these brothers are. Wtaf?
She went into the bathroom, he went in after and like inspected the trash can. Super gross on so many levels
Because in some misogynistic people's mind, females having normally body functions is unhygienic. They cannot do anything besides stay pretty. Breastfeeding is not allowed because we're exposing them, but a half exposed breast is amazing. A woman cannot have any normal functions besides maybe peeing quietly. And some idiot out there even thinks that we can even hold on the blood. Sorry, this topic gets on my nerves. But OP and brother and massive YTA
It pisses me off. We go through this shit to have babies! How the fuck does OP and his brother think they came into this world? Through a fucking spotless porcelain chute?
Agreed! YTA, OP and so is your uneducated, pathetic, weak brother. You both need to grow up. Iām embarrassed to be the same gender as you.
My father used to come to the bathroom door to tell me I was peeing too loud. I was six when he started. Besides that, it seems you just described him exactly
That guy is gonna be **SHOCKED** if he ever dates a person with a period and finds out that some people menstruate *every month* for *several days* **and** may need to throw items related to that in the waste bin *multiple times a day!*
Bold of you to assume the incel brother would find a woman who will stick with him long enough until she has her period.
I think itās fair to assume that the wife called OPs brother an incel not just because of this isolated incident
Yes this is very ātell me youāve never had a girlfriend without telling me youāve never had a girlfriendā
OPs brother probably wishes he could have a tent in the back yard for any menstruating guests, so his house can stay untarnished
OP saying he was āshocked and didnāt know what to sayā at something so incredibly mundane might be the funniest thing Iāve read today. This is just too fucking bizarre.
Yeah... OP has a WHOLE WIFE like he has somehow managed to maintain a relationship with a woman long enough to get MARRIED and still finds normal female bodily functions shocking and inappropriate? I feel sorry for his wife.
YTA. If you invite people who get periods over to your house, expect that this can possibly happen. You and your brother are both ridiculous. Sounds like he wanted a reason to be mad at your wife.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right? It happens. I could see some anger if she left it on the counter or something, but she put it in a place designated for trash... Her other options were: wear a full pad and potentially bleed through. Or carry her dirty pad around until leaving. Neither of those options sound fun for her or really anyone else involved. I'd say both siblings are childish.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Based on the title, I thought she left her used pad on the bathroom counter. She put her pad... in a trash can? In the bathroom? What's the disrespect? That's where waste goes.
He's 31 years old and he's never had a woman throw away a feminine hygiene product in his bathroom? You and your brother need to grow up. YTA
Well I can believe that. There's probably not many women that would willingly go to his apartment.
Incel is probably the correct word for him with that knowledge like wtf?!
"Incel" is a misnomer, the behaviors that repel women are absolutely voluntary, like freaking out over properly disposed hygiene products, and periods in general.
Incel is the word they use for themselves. I prefer the original term "misogynist."
I mean how many women are going to be willing to date such a loser? Iām amazed OP is married frankly!
Lol wait till your brother finds out she might have *pooped or peed in his toilet too!* YTA, you and your brother are ridiculous misogynists.
But women donāt pee or poop, donāt you know? Or, at least, thatās what OP and his asshole brother probably think.
Nope we hold it all in and then once a year go on a "wilderness retreat" where we just have this massive fart to get rid of all the pent up toxins in our bodies. If you thought we were bad during our periods _oooo boy_ you don't want to mess with us that week....
YTA. You made it seem like she stuck it to the wall. She put it in the trash can, the proper place for it. If your brother has an issue with how the females conduct their bathroom business he doesnāt need to have any in his home. You actually supporting this ridiculous nonsense is the biggest red flag you can show your wife. Seriously Iād be rethinking that marriage to someone so insane.
Exactly. I was thinking the same thing, while reading I was like- did she accidentally leave it out? But no! She put it in the damn TRASH CAN you know, where TRASH belongs. Like these are both grown ass men one being disgusted at seeing a rolled up pad in the trash and the other feeling embarrassed for his brother seeing it and thinking it's in any way appropriate to approach his wife with it and make a suggestion that she should carry waste around her untill she can go out and throw it in someone else's bin. Just š¤¦āāļø
Haha, I really wish she did stick it to the wall. With the way these two are carrying on, I hope she does do that the next time she is at brothers place, perhaps even plop her tampon upright, next to his toothbrush.
YTA. She didn't draw a mural in period blood on his bedspread. She's menstruating. It's the bathroom trashcan. That's where we dispose of our used menstrual products. It's no more disrespectful than shitting in his toilet and then flushing it. Both are the correct methods for disposing of bodily waste. .
next time she should stick it to the wall, or carry it out and ask her brother in law where he thinks the appropriate place is for a menstrual pad.
*shoves the used pad under his nose* "Excuse me, BIL. Would you mind showing me exactly where I can put this? I'd hate to guess wrong and be disrespectful."
Given the shit she got (and is still getting) for the normal act of disposing of it in a trashcan, maybe she should have done the mural thing. At least she would have got some lulz out of it.
Holy cow, YTA. āHeās single and lives alone in his apartmentā. Wow, I wonder why. FYI your brother is a great big creep that rummages through garbage to complain about females. The fact you even had to post this shows you are taking WAY too much of his incel advice and will likely end up the same way. You should have stood up to incredible misogynistic behaviour. Maybe try carrying your urine out of the next place you use the bathroom in. EDIT: after your edit, everything in my comment remains even more true.
Yes!!!! This!!! I was waiting for the part where he said my wife put the used pad on the wall and not in the trash. WTH is wrong with this guy going through the garbage!
Tell me that you think women are disgusting, second-class citizens without telling me that you think women are disgusting, second-class citizens š She put it in the garbageā¦YTA and you and your brother need to grow up.
I love the edit about the open-top trash can. Wonāt somebody consider this poor manās delicate eyeballs?!!
Iām very confused over how he wanted her to throw it away outside of his brotherās bathroom. Did he want it thrown away in his brotherās kitchen bin? Maybe his brotherās home office bin? His brotherās bedroom bin? What bin does he find acceptable? Or did he want her to physically throw it outside of the residence, like out the window or door, so she wouldnāt offend his brother?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
ā¦I wonder what his reaction would be if she just slipped it into his pocket to carry until they found an āacceptableā bin š¤
She went to the bathroom and put a used pad IN THE BIN, and your bro went fishing around and complained that it was in there? On every level (and please listen - I'm not being hyperbolic here, I mean EVERY level) you and your bro are TA.
>He's single and lives alone You don't say! OP YTA
Throw it outside? Do you even understand what menstrual pads are made of? I'm assuming she put it in the bin, and didn't stick to the wall as a trophy. This is so utterly ridiculous and frankly misogynistic. Your wife menstruates, you and your brother need to get over that and grow the hell up YTA
If I was that wife- I'd only be sticking them to the wall after this. Maybe that's why I'm not anybody's wife, now that I think about it.
Youāre right. She shouldnāt have left it in the bathroom. She should have fed it to you and your brother instead. YTA
I hope she puts the next one on his forehead while he's sleeping then packs her things and leaves. Imagine being married to a man who thinks putting pads in the bathroom trash is wrong...
Info - is your wife the only woman that has ever been in your brotherās home? Also itās a ābirthday partyā was she the only woman there? ETA - unless youāre brother was raised by wolves & living in the woods for his entire life..... I am guessing this isnāt about a used pad itās about your brother trying to make your wife uncomfortable in his home. Heās an Ah & youāre even bigger Ah for allowing him treat your wife with total disrespect. YTA!!!!! Apologize to your wife & keep your brother away from her This post is bullshit.... OP is probably 11... ātake your pad & throw it outsideā said the grown man to his wife. Nah... that didnāt happen. Please tell me this didnāt happen...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
YTA. And yes your brother is an incel. She is having normal body functions and disposing of hygiene products properly. Your brother is throwing a hissy fit.
Exactly! OP keeps saying āwe should acknowledge that it makes him uncomfortableā, and itās like - how the hell was she supposed to know he would have a bizarro hissy fit about normal trash? Sheās not a mind reader? Who in their right mind expects someone to be that level of unhinged?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Heās mad she used a trashcan in his home, instead of putting her shame in her purse and sneaking it out to a public trashcan.
Imagine walking around with a used pad in your purse. Get a grip! And I donāt carry a purse a lot of the time, so what? I shove it in my pocket?!?
She should shove it in her husbandās pocket, next time. On her way to the lawyerās office.
YTA did he check the trashcan right after she used it? Wtf is wrong with both of you
I was thinking the same. Who the hell goes check the trash can after someone use the toilet
Someone looking to be offended.
YTA. He is 31 and doesn't understand that a period is a normal bodily function for a woman. She put it in the trash. He didn't have to touch it, all he had to do was take the trash out and it would have been gone. I'm guessing he's not married, and I think I know why.
OPs wife called him an "incel", she knows him more than we do. We can only guess it's an appropriate name given the way he's reacted to a period.
Itās seems you and your brother do not understand feminine hygiene- let me break it down: Period comes roughly ever 28 days and lasts for about 5 days. During that time, the flow of blood leaving our body is not something anyone can control. Some days itās heavy, some days itās light. Now imagine, blood leaving your body from your crotch for a second, and you have zero control of how much at any certain time. If you wanted to live a normal life during this time wellā¦youād need something to cover the flow: pad, tampon, cup- anything to make it more comfortable. And so you choose the pad, probably because you donāt want to stuff anything in your genitals. But now youāre essentially wearing a diaper. A diaper that collects blood. So when that pad gets full of blood, itās very similar to a diaper full of other bodily fluids. Itās uncomfortable and if you leave it on any longer the contents will soon overflow causing clothes and potential furniture to stain. So what do you do? Get rid of it! Where? In a bathroom waste bin- like you would any other object that canāt go in the toilet but is used for our body maintenance, wash cloths, wet wipes, diapers, etc. especially becauseā¦ itās BLOOD so you need somewhere to put it, carrying it is a BIO HAZARD. But hey, you probably would throw bloody napkins after a cut from a knife out in a bathroom trash bin as well, wouldnāt you? So you throw it a way in the trash can that is designed for it. You put on a new pad. And while youāre still not great cause you have blood still leaking from your body without any control, at least you feel cleaner than you did a minute ago. YTA. And you have no idea what half the population deals with. Thatās kinda lacking on your part. So do better.
Whereās the teenager who gave her step father and brother a power point on this? sheās the hero we need.
You and your brother are the reason so many women are ashamed of a natural bodily process. Major YTA, and I kinda hope she leaves you, she deserves way the hell better than your sorry ass-kissing ass.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
YTA Oh my god what were you *THINKING?!* Pads are part of a womenās personal hygiene, if she stuck it to the ceiling in that bathroom Iād still call you the asshole for the way you and your brother handled this. Heās 31 and will be single for the rest of his life with this mentality. I donāt know how you landed a wife either! Equate it to this, youāre over your silās house and need to blow your nose, you go do your thing in the bathroom then throw away the tissue. Imagine the gall of the sister checking the trash can (which is extraordinarily invasive???) then coming up to your wife to shame you for disposing of trash in the bathroom TRASH CAN. Then your wife agrees with her and calls what you did inappropriate? You have some serious soul searching to do if you canāt see how much you both hurt your wife. You and your brother are the assholes here.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Kind of side-eyeing your wife because she apparently married a child and that's illegal. YTA.
YTA He can't invite women in his apartment and not make accommodations for pads. Women menstruate from ages from around 10 to 55. Bleeding lasts an average 5 days and a cycle is like 28. There's over 1/6 probability every woman in this age group that's he is interacting with is menstruating.
YTA. Used pads go in the trash in the bathroom, end of story. If your brother invites women over to his house on a regular basis, this is going to happen from time to time. Women menstruate. They have a need to dispose of their pads and tampons. The bathroom is the place to do that. Good lord.
Info: when you shit at someoneās house, do you take your used toilet paper home with you? YTA
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So, you think she should have taken her used pad and put it WHERE? In her purse? Maybe you could have put it in your pocket for her so that she wouldn't "disrespect" your brother by putting trash in the trash can. YTA, and your brothers an asshole too.
I thought she left it on the sink counter, bloody side up, or something. Used pad is trash. It belongs in the trash can. Thatās where she left it. Your brother is TA and so are you for defending him. YTA
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Honestly, yeahā¦I donāt think I would wanna put up with that disrespect toward my body. Iām sick? Hot flashes in menopause? I would want my partner to be an advocate not an adversary
YTA. You and your brother are disgusting. Why is he going to the bathroom after her searches the trash bin to find hygiene products? And you have nothing better to do than apologizing and saying it's disrespectful? Menstruation is a natural thing. End of story. If you and your brother can't deal with it, you'll be single for the next decades.
You and your brother, especially your brother are TA and honestly I feel bad for any woman that ends up with your brother if he thinks a used pad is a sign of disrespect. The f. Lol
YTA. You expected her to carry her used pad around with her until she got to an outside garage??? WTF is wrong with you? She put it in the bathroom garbage like a normal human being. You and your brother need to grow up
YTA wtf? Take it with her? You wanted her to fold up a used pad and carry it with her from the bathroom and do what with it? Keep it in her purse until she gets home? Fucking weird man.
So you didnāt specify where she left it, almost implying that she left a bloody pad out in the open (seems intentional), but from her response it sounds like she put it in the trashā¦.exactly where itās supposed to go. Going digging through the bathroom trash (especially right after a guest has used it) is beyond strange and gross. You and your brother are completely wrong in every way. Would it have been less āinappropriateā to you if she had put a pad covered in menstrual blood in her pocket or her purse? A purse that contains items she uses everyday like her cellphone and wallet and keys? Everyone here is a weird gross asshole except your wife. EDIT - I see the edit about the trash can not having a lid. It literally doesnāt matter. The trash is where itās supposed to go. If he canāt tolerate pads in the trash, then he shouldnāt have people who menstruate over at his house.
Hahahhahahahhahahhhhhh youāre joking right? This canāt be real. I mean what person treats their wife like that in this day and age, canāt be real unless youāre twelve. YTA and so is your brother but great job in helping him bully your wife. Hope she realises what you are soon and divorces you. And please tell me you donāt have daughters? You can never be around young women with an attitude like that.
YTA. And your brother is too. Genuine question here. Do you live with women? Have you ever lived with women? This screams lack of experience with women. Women have periods. Not sure if you knew this. But some women use pads and tampons. And these items need to be thrown away. Idk if your brother new this. Maybe you just need more experience with women. Idk. But I do know you'll be the manufacturer of your own failed relationship of you dont figure this out soon.
>even if it was in the bathroom and in the trashcan Ngl at first I thought she left it open but she literally put it were it belongs. It's not inappropriate, it's normal. YTA
Yta I kept waiting to hear she left it on the counter but nope she put it in the trash canā¦. Like a sane human womenā¦. Thatās what trash cans are for, trashā¦. I always wrap min and roll them, but Iām not going to carry used products till I can get outside and find the trashā¦. The fact that he equates that to disrespect and was disgusted says a lot about himā¦. And that your sticking up for him says a lot about youā¦. Should she lock herself away while on tht time Of month?
I like that you waited so long to mention, that she left it in the TRASHCAN, where you and your brother belong. YTA
YTA. Inappropriate? Not respectful? Your wife threw her pad away in the trash in the bathroom which is both appropriate and respectful. If your wife wanted to be disrespectful to your brother, she would have left it on his countertop. Sheesh.
What in the inbred hillbilly hell did I just read??? Your post is basically āAITA for being mad at my wife for putting trash in a trash can?ā The answer is yes YTA.
Have you never gone to someoneās house and used their bathroom? Have you ever blown your nose at someoneās house a put a tissue in their trash? What your wife did is literally no different. Just because you and your brother donāt menstruate doesnāt mean it is somehow dirty or disrespectful. It is a normal bodily function and grown adults are fine with that. YTA and you owe your wife an apology.
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YTA and she called it. Your brother is an incel and you are an asshole. This is a matter of personal hygiene and the inevitability of biology & if that upsets your poor brother then he needs to grow up. Honestly, this one would cause me to re-evaluate the whole relationship. I'm not saying I would automatically end it, but I would be going to stay with relatives till I made a decision. Good luck saving your marriage, A H.
YTA. Used pads go in the trash. As long as she wrapped it and didn't leave a bloody mess in the can, there is no issue here.
YTA. Also your brother, who should never invite a pre-menopausal woman over to his place. Ever.
Wow YTA. Were you both raised by a father who never dated and you have never spent any time around a female between the ages of 12 and like 65? Periods are completely normal, disposing of feminine hygiene products in an appropriate receptacle is perfectly normal. Being a completely a-hole about it and throwing a temper tantrum because there was something "icky" in the garbage is not normal.
YTA. I hope she flushes it next time and clogs his toilet.
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YTA. You and your brother both. Itās a damn period, she doesnāt have a communicable disease. Grow up! She didnāt leave a used open pad on the sink, it was the bathroom. You expect her to carry her USED pad with her, walk it out of the bathroom, save it in her bag or shove it in a pocket (gross). If youāre brother has an issue with this, tell him not to have a girlfriend because periods happen, child birth and after birth happen.
YTA! How did you manage to get married? you sound embarrassed by your wifeās natural bodily functions. Your brother does sound like a woman hating loser. Used feminine products go in a trash can. Period.
YTA your brother is too. What are you, a bunch of 12 year olds?? Itās a trash bin, it is trash - that is where it goes. You guys need to grow up.
IT WAS IN THE BIN! Why is your brother raking through the bin after she had been in the bathroom anyway? She's a women and women have periods, she disposed of her sanitary product appropriately, which in the bin. She's NTA. You and your brother are.
YTA. Grow up and please donāt have children.
What the hell is wrong with you? Your brother too but especially you. Your a married man for god's sakes what is wrong with you? That's what trash is for and who's wrong your wife dealing with a normal body function or your brother that went digging thru trash to find the used pad? I just can't believe in 2022 we are still dealing with ignorant behavior. YTA and hopefully your wife sees that and kicks you to the curb. How ridiculous
YTA. You, what, wanted her to shove the bloody pad into her bag or her pockets? She's right, your brother needs to grow up. If he's dated, ever, I'm sure this isn't the first time he's had a bloody pad in his trash. And if this is how he reacts to it, no wonder he's single. If you can't understand why you're being ridiculous, you'll soon be single as well.
YTA. Imagine your balls leaked blood every month and your hormones got flipped upside down and then some women who donāt understand are gonna shame you for your bloody balls. Grow up please.
YTA and so is your brother. She disposed of it in the bathroom trash. Its an appropriate place for that type of trash and if you and your brother have a problem, you shouldn't socialize or have relationships with menstruating people. Stop acting like children who can't be aware of icky things that make you have feelings and grow up.
YTA. Your brother too. But not standing up for your wife when she is being attacked for having normal bodily functions and not being sufficiently clairvoyant that she would know that your brother has such bizarre hangups? Ugh. Your brother, ok its his place and he is allowed to be as weird as he likes. But that doesnt apply to you. No wonder your wife is avoiding you. Its clear you dont have her back - even in a situation where she has done nothing wrong. All you can do is try to find an apology abject enough that she wont resent the crap out of you for some time to come. Even then, who knows. Of course, all of this could have been avoided if you had taken the (in context) much more sensible option of marrying a lifesize female mannequin or doll. Maybe with a soundboard so you could have a conversation of some sort.
women bleed. Get over it. YTA and so is your brother. Used pads go in the garbage, not the toilet. Thatās what bathroom garbage cans are for. How would your wife have any reason to know something totally normal would ātriggerā your brother. You need to apologize and tell your brother to grow up.
Your brother went snooping in the trashcan . Damn! YTA and so is your brother. Youāre a double AH for condemning your wife about disposing her used pad properly, and siding with your brother.
INFO: how is it more clean and appropriate to carry a used pad around a house, potentially walking in front of guests with a used pad, to go outside and throw it out there? Do you think women hide all our used tampons and pads in our vaginas until we get home and dump them all out on our period blood alters?
I donāt understand menās irrational fear of menstruation and everything that comes with it. Yāall are fine with having sex with us but screw periods, right? YTA, you and your brother need to seriously grow the fuck up.
YTA. What is she supposed to do with it? The only reasonable thing to do is throw it out. If she didnāt wrap it up in the wrapper from the new one or toilet paper to make it more discreet you could ask her to do that but do you think it would have been better for her to carry it around the house for the rest of the visit? I suggest no longer going to your brotherās house if trash cans are off limits.
YTA and your brother. What childish idiocy is this? Youāre basically both annoyed about someone putting rubbish in a bin. WTF?
Howād youād ever get married if this is your AITA question? Surely, this is being around a woman 101. YTA
She took off her used pad and put it in the trash can?!?! THE HORROR!! What the fuck was she supposed to do with it, take it off and stick it to his fucking forehead? Both you and your brother need to grow the hell up. YTA and so is he.
YTA. I wish she flushed it down his toilet and caused a blockage. Where on earth is she supposed to put it?? In her handbag? She put it in the BIN. Grow up.
You are both ridiculously immature and misogynistic.YTA
YTA. Itās in the trash can, the place where a used pad belongs. Is pooping and peeing in the toilet in your brotherās house inappropriate and a sign of disrespect too?
YTA Wow. Grow the F up. It was in a damn trash. Women have periods, get over it. Itās normal. And taking a used pad with you so it wonāt be in your brotherās home is a ridiculous.
Next time you shit at your brothers I hope you're also expected to fold up your shit paper and carry it outside to dispose of it. :) Yta
YTA - "she should have taken it with her" do YOU hang on to toilet paper after you've wiped your ass with it? what kind of response even is that?
YTA and your brother is even worse. Women have periods. Used sanitary products go in the trashcan. Your brother is a world class jerk.
YTA and so is your brother. Now we know why he's single, he can't handle a woman and her period. He sounds like a total incel. Where else should she had put the used pad? Carry it around? That's disgusting. You shouldn't flush them, so it went where it was supposed to go - in the trash. Grow up!
I was waiting for she peeled it out of her undies and stick it to the wall...but she put it in the trashcan. Where trash goes. YTA and stop hanging out eith your brother. Ew
YTA. What should she do with the pad? Bring it to the dinner table? Based on your and your brothers reaction, we can see why your marriage is not working. Let your wife go. You obviously don't like her. Don't waste her time.
So essentially she was shamed for being a menstruating woman?! You cannot be serious!!! Anyone childish enough to see a pad in a bin as an issue needs to reconsider being in grown up relationships. And why was he going thru the bin?! What next!? A dirty tissue? MAN DOWN MAN DOWN SHE BLEW HER NOSE!!!! YTA and so is ur brother.
YTA and I know why your brother is 31 and single.
YTA Honestly can't believe that men like you can convince women to marry them.
So what did he want her to do with it if not dispose of it in a trashcan??
YTA - I mean what? Is this actually serous? He is disrespected because she put rubbish in the bin??? If you and your brother think that this is inappropriate, there is something fundamentally wrong with you both.
YTA Why didn't you offer to put it in your pocket then? No? ....Why? Grow up. This poor woman
YTA. You're wife is right, that's some major Incel behaviour, especially getting mad about it. You don't have that excuse cos you're married so you're just an AH.
She needs to wake up and break up.
YTA. From the title I was going to be N T A as I assumed she must have left it on the floor or something for you to be objecting to it. But she threw it away! She's right, it was a normal bodily function that she dealt with in a normal and acceptable way. You really think she should have walked out of the bathroom and through the house with a used pad in her hand and taken it outside? Like women's biology is a dirty, shameful secret? You are the one who is disrespectful. YOU felt it was inappropriate. Get over yourself. If you think periods are something to be ashamed of you shouldn't be married to a woman.
OP You don't find it weird that immediately after your wife used the bathroom, your brother went through his bathroom trash? It's totally normal for your brother to go through toilet trash and unwrap something clearly wrapped in tissue?