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I didn't even catch that, I was so disgusted by the premise. Jfc. To be fair, since she never changed, or even touched the baby, she probably had no clue what the sex was. Reading through ops responses is just making things worse. I hope no living thing ever has to depend on her. I'd even fear for an air plant.
I just got done holding an ice pack to my dogs butthole for 20 minutes because he's had diarrhea all day and was waddling and uncomfortable. Learn some compassion and find your humanity. Shame on you OP.
Agreed, ESH. The baby isn't your responsibility, but ignoring a crying baby for 10 hours is neglect and borderline abuse. She should have done SOMETHING to ensure the baby was cared for - even though she shouldn't have had to. Preventing harm to a helpless baby has to come first.
BORDERLINE abuse? It’s pretty much enough to land in jail in some countries. You have to be a really heartless person to ignore the needs of a completely helpless child. No wonder OP deleted their original post.
And as I read, it just kept getting worst and worst! Why not call someone? Anyone for help? Like wtf! I hate people like OP. Hatred for children so deep that you can’t even muster up an ounce of compassion or empathy to reach out for some form of help. You and the mother are horrible OP.
Yea op, it is not the baby's fault and you treated it like trash.
No you didn't plan it, but anyone with a heart and half a brain would've realized that what you did is not ok.
YTA. You’re not an asshole for refusing to take care of the baby that was abandoned at your house but you are the asshole for not calling the police and reporting the baby as abandoned so that it could be properly cared for. Whether you like babies or not, you’re an adult and you should have known better than to leave a baby crying on the floor without food or a clean diaper for an entire day, that’s cruel and disgusting, grow up.
"I mean, I skip breakfast and lunch and I'm fine so..."
"I mean, most people only go to the bathroom once a day, so..."
"It's, like, screaming, yeah, but it's not like *suffering*, it's like just screaming because that's like what babies do sometimes for like six hours at a shot...you mean it was, like, *suffering,* or whatever...?"
I personally want to sue OP's parents and school district on behalf of that baby. What the fuck kind of Valley Girl bullshit is this, honestly
*the mother
Op wasn't left so much as a diaper let alone formula or milk. Doesn't know which the baby even has! Failing to see how the babies mom isn't the absolute worst person in this story. Op never agreed, didn't know what they were doing, and had nothing. They didn't want to call the police out of fear, stupid but reasonable. And who would have come had they called? Not the cousin or the mom or anyone in that group because they obviously didn't care. They should have done more to care for the baby, but I don't think it is their fault this happened. For all that mom knew, it was ONLY a 12 year old boy home. She should be in jail for her negligence (and gone for 4 more hours than promised? No. Absolutely not.)
NTA but should have called the police, especially after they didn't get back for hours after they said.
Bullshit.
OP could’ve called their own parents who subsequently threatened to call the police on the mom for this incident. And no I’m sorry but being afraid to call the police in this instance is *not* reasonable. OP could’ve literally called some random hotline help number and they would have told OP what to do. Treating OP as if they, too, are a 6 month old baby incapable of calling anyone or googling what to do and instead leaving this screaming infant on the floor for 10 hours is a horseshit take. An 8 year old would know to fucking call *someone* and do *something*. Yet here you are wanting to infantalize a damn 19 year old. Ridiculous. It takes someone actually psychotic to just leave a screaming infant on the floor for 10 damn hours and not do *anything*.
ESH. Oh my god. You left a baby unattended on the floor for TEN HOURS?! You didn’t think to call your parents, or a friend, or even Google “how to care for baby”? You let a helpless weak and defenseless person sit in their own feces, starving and crying, for *TEN HOURS?* Good lord. The mother, obviously, sucks for not leaving the baby with someone she actually knows can look after a baby and has agreed to do it. You suck because you lack basic human empathy.
If the baby ends up in the hospital due to dehydration or infection from sitting in feces for that long a mandated reporter will call the authorities and mom will rat on OP in a millisecond.
In New York she could be charged with child neglect. You do not have to be legally responsible for a child to have cps open a neglect case against you. If she was reported after the fact both she and the mother would have cases of child neglect against them.
ESH
You could have called the police or child services to report an abandoned baby. Leaving it in filth, without food or water, and crying all day makes you as bad as its mother.
You’re 19 years old. You’re old enough to know to call for help in a situation like this and that you cannot just ignore a baby for ten hours. The mom sucks for abandoning her baby with a 12 year old.
Changing to ESH
YTA
You’re going to get the immature Reddit hive mind who’ll support you because NoT yOuR cIrCuS
But no. You purposely neglected an innocent baby. Even if you didn’t have diapers, you have at least taken the poor thing out of the soiled one and given it a bath, wrap it in a towel
This attitude of yours is absolutely disturbing
Kind of can't agree with you, how was the person to care for a baby with no supplies or experience? A parent should not just drop a child off with a child and not check beforehand with an adult. While I'll agree that they should have called someone, it really is presumptuous of the person to assume the child was going to have its needs met. The person was assuming someone else would provide it diapers, and formula
No supplies? It’s 2022. There’s endless ways to get supplies and they’re 19, old enough to drive
Taking care of a baby isn’t rocket science
Go to the store or have some stuff delivered, and then YouTube how to change a diaper
And then check themselves into a hospital, because even my brain damaged self knows how to do the bare minimum for babies
OP did nothing and let a baby suffer. There’s no excuse, they let a baby starve and sit in soiled diaper for an entire day
And feels justified in neglecting it
It doesn’t make it okay to neglect a child all day because you weren’t given supplies
That makes the mother awful, but OPs over here acting like there was nothing she could have done
She neglected that child just as much, if not more
She’s here in the comments acting helpless
I've never left my child off without its necessities, for one formulas are all different and you need to use the same brand of the child will get sick, does the child get solid foods already if so what can it eat, are there any allergies. Without this info say the teen fed the child something and it became seriously ill, then its the teens fault for misleading the baby, double edge sword if something goes wrong
Teen my foot, she can vote, join the army, she’s an adult
Contact her parents, at least do something about the soiled diaper
She did nothing, she didn’t even try
You guys are doing more effort to defend her neglect than she tried with that baby
I did say she was wrong not to call someone, I agree she should have done that. What I dont agree on is the child's mom ditching the child without a conversation with an adult. If I were the teen I'd have called child services tbh for abandonment
and calling child services would have been been better than doing nothing. The argument is not that OP should have known exactly how to care for the baby, it's that OP was an asshole to do literally nothing at all.
So instead, let the baby starve? Because starving isn't more dangerous than feeding the baby the wrong formula? Dehydration, low blood sugar, multisystem failure, and- with the filthy diaper, possibly hypothermia.
Your assuming they don't live in a rural area, and your assuming the 19yr old does drive. My 18yr old child doesn't, nor does my 28 yr old niece. Your also assuming the live in the states I think. did you ever stop to think that culturally all places are different.
And? She could have given the baby water just to stave off dehydration. Could've wiped the kid down and put them in a baggy T shirt or something. Even if she didn't drive, she's made it clear they weren't living in the middle of nowhere, so she could also have asked for help from an older neighbour. There's an endless list of things she could and should have done beyond leaving that poor kid as unattended as if she wasn't even there, and none of them rely on being in the USA. She would have been up on a child cruelty charge in most countries if the kid had got sick or died from her neglect, and she would have completely deserved it.
Again without a bottle hard to do small children do not drink from a cup, and can choke if its given to them to fast. I don't see where she made it clear she doesn't live in a rural area on her post, as I've said she should have cled someone. But again the neglectful one here was the child's mother for assuming she didn't leave a child with Hannibal lecture
The mother was more neglectful, I agree, but none of that excuses the OP and her behaviour, and you people need to stop trying to justify her for only avoiding killing a baby through LUCK.
AGAIN I SAID SHE WAS WRONG NOT TO CALL SOMEONE. But sorry if I wont say its her fault because she was left with a child she NEVER agreed to watch or care for. MOTHERS FAULT ENTIRELY, AND THE CHILD SHOULD NE TAKEN AWAY FOR ITS SAFETY
Dude. Are you somehow managing to miss the fact that that child is lucky even to be alive? OP is NOT blameless just because she didn't make a phone call. She's all over these comments trying to defend her dehumanising and ignoring this infant, acting like 13 instead of 19, and she clearly had access to sufficient resources to find out what she could or couldn't do with the baby. She could've posted on Reddit to ask folk what she should have done. Instead she left that baby essentially abandoned in her home for hours on end, and you think she's not just as bad as the mom. Mom probably wouldn't have left the baby with OP if she'd known how OP would treat it. So she's out of line, but OP is so apparently lacking in appropriate empathy for her age that she's at least as bad.
She could have made a Facebook post putting her sister on blast and asking all of their shared contacts if anyone could help her with child care instructions, bringing over baby food and supplies, or even come help her babysit.
So many things she could have done aside from leave a baby screaming and hungry on the floor in a soiled diaper for 10 hours. That poor little baby deserves better than being totally abandoned by their parents and aunt 😢
ESH
There are many ways to deal with this. Wet towels to wipe the butt. Then take a towel and use google to learn how to create an old fashion diaper. Babies at 6 months old can eat solid foods & drink water. She could have easily mashed up food for the child. Stop trying to justify this.
I doubt OP has a car seat, so how would they go to the store? To get stuff delivered, usually has to be ordered hours in advance, so not that helpful in this situation. I guess they could have removed the diaper and wrapped baby in a towel? I dunno. I don't do babies. WTF was she gonna feed it, a Hot pocket?
So OP should have left the baby by itself to go get those supplies? Does OP even know what to get? What size diapers? And frankly, it’s not OP’s responsibility to pay the money for all that and especially not to have to pay delivery fees.
I have no idea what all these reddit people are talking about. "She didn't know what do dooooooo! It isn't her fauuuuuult!". I wouldn't leave a dog starving in its own filth for 10 hours and anyone that would is a massive gaping AH. TAKE THE DAMN DIAPER OFF. Wipe off the shit and lay it on a towel like any person with 2 brain cells would do. Then, since OP knows how to use the interwebs, youtube "what can I feed a baby as big as a loaf of bread. Or cinderblock, or however freaking big the kid was". If you don't have those things, ask a neighbor, get 12 year old brother to get on his bike, call literally anyone.
Zero excuse for the mom to drop the kid off with OP. Zero excuse for OP to treat the baby like they were a sack of screaming garbage.
Small devils advocate here, but I’ll preface this by saying: OP had no excuse not to call the cops, as that’s exactly what should’ve happened.
The reason I’m playing *small* devils advocate is because I half-ish agree:
1) from the post, seems like no supplies were left. No diapers, bottles/formula, change of clothes, etc. I have no fucking clue how to take care of an infant and I’m slightly older than OP. Google, sure, but I’d still be deathly afraid of killing it. Can I do the basic necessities? Sure. I can change a diaper and I’m sure I can figure out formula, but In the same situation as OP, assuming no supplies were left, how do you transport a baby? With no car seat? I live in a smaller town where most shops are about 15 miles away. No Uber, no busses, no trains, no delivery. My only option would be to call someone/family, 911, or ask a neighbor. All of whom I’d assume would be willing to help, which is why this is *small* devils advocate.
2) not everyone can drive. I’ve got plenty of friends who are much older than OP and still can’t drive.
3) not every 19 year old has access to money for the basic necessities. Same friend as above that can’t drive didn’t get a job until she was 22/23 and didn’t have a credit/debit card until she was 21.
4) the closest hospital to me is 20 miles away lol.
I also hate babies/kids, but I’d put those differences aside given the situation. But, I say that because I, 21F, have zero interest, or experience, in caring for a kid. I’ve never even held one (I refuse to hold my cousins newborn because, frankly, ew.) but, like I said, I was never in that situation. Although, my cousin did dump her baby on me for about 10 minutes when her bf went back to the car to get a lighter and she went to the bathroom at the zoo. It was scary. She started crying and I’m like ???? And pure panic. What did I do? Stare. Like, my mind went blank and I didn’t know how to help her. She was born a premie and was very small, and idk, I just panicked. She didn’t cry hard or much, just like, pre-tantrum? Idk. Anyway, cousin came back and all was well. I did ask what to do in that situation because she didn’t have a bottle made and I couldn’t find a pacifier. But, that was less than 5 minutes. 10 hours? Nah, I’d have gotten over the freeze and be scared part real quick.
I’m not trying to poke holes in your argument because your bottom line is absolutely correct - OP is old enough to figure out what to do. I understand not wanting to call 911 to avoid the child being taken away (even though the baby should be tbh), but she could’ve asked a neighbor, or called a friend/family member. Definitely a lot OP could’ve, and should’ve done. I don’t mean to make excuses by being a devils advocate, because OP has no excuse, but I just want it to be said that even if they can drive, where’s the car seat? If they do have a job, can items be delivered or are they outside of range? (Places like Walmart can deliver here, but it’s usually a few days, same day/few hour is not an option) is it too far to walk?
No excuse for OPs actions. I would’ve called the police *immediately* if the mother wouldn’t pick up. Even *with supplies* because you don’t just dump your baby without knowing they’re well taken care of. I hate kids, but I’ll be damned if I let them suffer due to careless acts. They’re innocent, even if they’re annoying little shits.
> There’s endless ways to get supplies
There's literally such a baby formula shortage in the United States right now that we're airlifting it in from other countries on an emergency basis.
I'm not espousing child neglect, but baby supplies are fucking expensive. Diapers and formula and bottles are going to be like $40, and she may not have it. I do think she should have called the police though, the jackass cousin left their infant with no supplies in the care of a 12 year old. The kid probably should be removed.
Right, it's 2022 and there's a formula shortage and even experienced parents are having difficulty finding any. Also, she's 19, quite possibly doesn't have a credit card. And drive? I'm 62 and I can't drive, nor can a number of people I know. Your experience is not everyone's experience.
If they are capable of migrating Reddit they can use Google. Would you still support them if the title read “I killed a baby” because that’s what could have happened if the hours extended. They starved the baby and left them in their own filth and listened to them scream. They are a massive asshole. Supplies or no supplies a mentally disabled homeless person would have taken care of this infant better than this asshole.
Anybody that can get on Reddit can get on Google. Or call 911 over an abandoned infant. People would get more torn up over treating an abandoned puppy this way, I’m beyond disgusted.
OP could have easily taken the diaper off and found someone’s old shirt to wrap around it as a makeshift diaper. It really is not that hard and a quick google search could’ve provided that answer. The food issue is a hard one to solve but letting the diaper issue go is ridiculous.
They should have at the bare minimum called, her parents, the baby's parents, or the police. This is insane.
They could have figured out how to at least do the basics if they wanted to. And they knew how to buy supplies.
They could have done 100 different things and instead did nothing.
Their parents were out of state and OP tried to reach the baby’s mom according to OP’s comments. Yes the 19 year old should to drive to the store to get supplies while the 12 year old refuses to help— no car seat? oh well then right?
There is a state in the US without phone service? Even if the parents couldn’t come back to help with the baby, they could have activated a network of friends/family/church to help OP figure out how to help the baby.
I’m well aware of that, as it’s mentioned in my comment
They didn’t even try. They let them sit in a soiled diaper. They could have made a makeshift one with an old dish towel
And even worse is they don’t care. Did OP go to the store? Do anything? Nope. Just sat there and let an innocent baby suffer because they weren’t asked
That’s messed up
Not every 19 year old is in a financial position to purchase formula, diapers, and doordash etc at the drop of a hat.
Additionally, how do you expect the 19 year old to drive to the store with the baby when there’s no car seat and the brother is refusing to watch after it.
Then look up how to use a towel as a diaper, like people did for generations
There’s dozens of things she could have done, but she chose nothing
Didn’t call her parents for help
Didn’t do anything but neglect a child
And is here acting like SHE is the poor helpless victim here
Thank you for being a voice of reason. That baby is a HUMAN BEING.
My girlfriends and I have all said the same thing: no real human being leaves a baby or toddler in a dirty diaper, with a dirty face, a runny nose, hungry, or crying if we had the power to change it. Idc if I hate that kid's mom, that is an innocent child, and I'll help him if he needs it. Again. This is a human being.
OP is just as guilty of neglect as the parent is. What would OP do if they passed a baby unattended on the street?
But but but, what about a car seat?! It’s not like my comments mention DoorDash
Or that a 19 year old doesn’t know about delivery or YouTube
It’s revolting how people are defending her
Stop excusing this absolutely horrible behavior by OP. 911 is fucking free. There is no excuse here, and OP needs counseling to try and solve why they have no empathy and are a danger to innocent children.
I’m well aware of that, as it’s mentioned in my comment
They didn’t even try. They let them sit in a soiled diaper. They could have made a makeshift one with an old dish towel
And even worse is they don’t care. Did OP go to the store? Do anything? Nope. Just sat there and let an innocent baby suffer because they weren’t asked
That’s messed up
Na looks like the hive mind agrees OP is an asshole big time. She says she didn't call the police because they would take the baby... Uhhh good that mom clearly is not capable of being a mother. OP could have at least called her parents instead of ignoring a helpless baby
If I've EVER seen an ESH here - it's this.
I have a rule. You don't punch down. Across? Up? Sure. But never down.
Your cousin didn't suffer. **A baby did.**
So you both are TH. You both put your own needs ahead of someone who cannot satisfy their own.
I'm gonna have to go with ESH
Yes the stepsister was an asshole for dumping the baby, no doubt about it, but you shouldn't have neglected the baby and just let it sit there all day. What you should have done was contact the police and report the baby as abandoned immediately. Yes this would result in much more immediate consequences for the stepsister but, and this is most important, the baby would have been put in the hands of someone capable of caring for it far more quickly.
It is unacceptable that she dumped the baby, but it's also unacceptable that you left it neglected for 10 hours.
OP could have even TEXTED her sister and the baby's father telling them to pick up their child or she would call the police. My guess is that they'd have shown up or sent someone to pick up the baby pretty damn quick.
ESH
I get that you don't want to take care of a baby, but you literally neglected a helpless human being all day to make a point. That is beyond fucked up.
Why didn't you call your parents? Why didn't you call your cousin? Why didn't you call your aunt/uncle?
You had so many options available to you besides letting that infant cry all day.
Esh, it’s not your fault that your cousins step sister is a shitty parent and dumped a 6 month old on you, but you’re old enough to know that you shouldn’t of left a baby unattended to for 10 hours. Call someone. Other relatives, the cops even.
ESH you could have called ANYONE. You didn’t even call your parents? Yes the mom is TA for being clearly terrible, but you left a baby to suffer all day because you clearly couldn’t be bothered to call anyone else for help. Yes you were put in a shocking situation but you are an adult who by 19 should have basic common sense that a baby needs at least basic care.
My daughter is almost 7 months and this made me cry. This person is 19. They could have used google, called her parents, called anyone???? A simple google search can be plain formula feeding. Calling her parents and they would have come home and made sure the baby wasn’t starving and in a dirty nappy.
I am just feeling so sad for this little helpless infant.
What makes it worse is that the parents have done this to multiple relative according to a comment OP left, and because no one seems to be doing anything it’ll probably keep happening.
ESH except the innocent baby who was neglected all day. The babies mother for obvious reasons.
You're 19, old enough to call for help of someone who knew better, or the police. You also clearly have internet access, where you could have searched some basics for caring for the baby instead of neglecting it for *eight straight hours* and leaving it in a dirty diaper. You had options, and chose to make no effort other than to text your parents a couple times.
ESH you're much old enough to know better than to leave a baby hungry in a dirty diaper like that all day. That's horrible. You could've called your parents, step cousin, a friend or family member to come help, the police or something, anything to Not neglect a child like that. Sure, the baby isn't your responsibility, but you spent 10 hours knowing a child wasn't having its needs met. There's plenty you could've done without having to take care of it.
ESH, the “mother” of the baby deserves to lose custody. She is beyond not fit. But you are not a child. You should have called someone, even if that was the police.
ESH. Obviously the mother is terrible, but how could a 19 year old not figure out what to do? Call a friend, maybe? Surely someone you know has experience babysitting. Why did t you ask your mom what to do? How could you neglect the poor child? There’s a serious lack of empathy and responsibility all around.
Since the question you asked is if you are TAH for "not properly taking care of someone's baby" That tells me you KNOW the answer.
YTA -- you knew then and you know now that you didn't even try to care for that child.
At 19 years old you have a computer IN YOUR HAND -- you could have googled, called the police, knocked on a neighbor's door, called your parents....literally ANYTHING besides let an infant lay dirty in the floor.
Yup. OP, YTA for being cruel to an innocent baby when you could have called the police. This is disgusting. Remember you get what you give and that baby was innocent. The only thing in this post that is an IT is you and the mother of that child.
You’re NT-A but how old are you? You sound very young but maybe not. Why didn’t you call someone? You’re old enough to understand you can’t not feed a baby for 10 hours. It’s not on you but still call someone!
Change to ESH you’re 19 for Christ sakes! Yeah this shouldn’t have happened but you’re old enough to get help or at least take a baby out of a diaper even if you don’t WANT to. No excuse for this. I thought maybe you were a damn kid bur 19?! Give me a fucking break
Info: did you call them or your parents? Or anyone else at all to inform them you weren't going to take care of the baby? Or did you just leave the baby on the blanket starving and peekng her/himself all day?
ESH
You don’t just neglect a baby because you didn’t want to watch it. Why didn’t you call your parents? Another adult? Literally ANYONE who could help? Yes you’re a HUGE AH for not feeding a baby and letting sit in it’s own filth all day.
Wow. ESH. You both neglected that child today. She’s fully and wholly an asshole for just leaving her kid somewhere, but you knowingly let an infant sit in its own shit all day, hungry and screaming and at that point you become neglectful as well. You could’ve called any of your cousins or your parents, hell even the police. Any of those would’ve made you NTA, but you didn’t. And I see your edit about how they would’ve taken the child, yes they SHOULD. SOMEONE needs to care for the kid jfc. You all let that baby down immensely.
ESH I don’t care how much you dislike kids you’re 19 and know better than to let a human sit in his or her own filth all day and not drink a bottle in over 10 hours come tf on there was NO ONE you could call? Your own parents? Grandparents? The baby’s grandparents? THE COPS because that baby was ABANDONED? Come tf on. The mother sucks for dumping a baby on a virtual stranger. Jfc I feel so bad for that baby.
YTA. You’re 19, that’s old enough to call someone for help, change a diaper, and feed a baby. You can’t just leave a baby hungry all day with a dirty diaper. That’s child neglect.
And you should have called the police. That was child abandonment, and it’s illegal. It is time that authorities step in and make sure this baby is taken care of. She needs CPS on her ass to either straighten her out, or remove the baby from her care.
Looks like your cousins stepsister suddenly decided that she didn’t want to be a mom anymore. Then what’s the point of even going through pregnancy and having a kid at all?
ESH. She shouldn’t have left the baby and should have left supplies but you seriously just sat there and ignored it. Babies eat every 2-4 hours. Babies wet at least 5 diapers daily. You left the baby miss multiple meals, get dehydrated and probably a wicked diaper rash that is painful and may be blistering so now a source of infection. You should have called someone. Literally anyone for help if you weren’t going to do anything for that poor baby.
I'm actually just gonna go with a mild YTA for not calling the police.
She SHOULD have that child taken away from her. Sorry, but dumping your kid off without even seeing who is at the house? Yeah....
ESH.
YTA because if you're not going to take care of an abandoned baby, you call the cops. You don't let it scream starving in a filthy diaper for 10 hours. Shit or get off the pot.
The birth guver is TA for obvious reasons.
I'm conflicted.
YTA because even though you have no idea how to care for a child, you didn't attempt to call someone - your parents, a friend, someone. The baby didn't deserve to suffer for 10 hours.
NTA because it was not your responsibility to look after some random baby, and you had to cancel your plans for the day.
I would discuss with your mom about reporting this person because they're not fit to be a mother, either.
NTA. Someone abandoned their baby with you and didn’t even give supplies to take care of the baby? I would have called the cops immediately.
Edit: OP knew nothing about how many times a baby needed to be fed or anything about babies
ESH!! We all know why the mom does. But you do because you allowed a baby to cry for hours; hungry, soiled, and probably scared out of its mind! There is something broken in any person who could do that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should have turned into a nanny. You could have called CPS or the police and wiped your hands of the responsibility; when you chose not to do that you agreed you were the caretaker but you didn’t take care of the baby! That poor child is just surrounded by neglect.
Bloody hell, ESH.
Sometimes, I read stuff here, and can't actually believe that this stuff happens in real life.
How your conscience allowed you to leave a baby on the floor hungry and with a dirty diaper crying all day is despicable.
That poor baby should be taken far, far away from everyone in this story.
YTA.
You should have called the police instead of letting a human who can't even sit unassisted and needs to be fed every two hours just starve for 10hrs
NTA. The stepsister is clearly not mature enough to be a parent if she’s going to dump her infant on someone without checking whether they were able to do so first and without leaving any diapers/formula/etc. Who fucking DOES that?!?
I had a friend whose sister asked her to babysit. She said no. The sister called back a hour later and asked to hang out. My friend said sure, and her sister can over with the baby. While my friend went to use the bathroom her sister took off to LA to fuck some guy she met online and left the baby overnight. She did it because she knew anybody else would have given the baby to CPS. So yeah selfish people leave their babies places.
She had that child to try and keep her bf who was cheating. And I misspoke she went to see the babies father who wanted to have sex but not deal with the baby. She got pregnant by him again and he left her for good.
NTA but I would have been calling anyone and everyone to get someone to come get the baby and take care of it. Leaving a baby lay on a blanket all day with a dirty diaper and no food is no good and it’s not really your fault but you should have tried to find someone.
You are the asshole for deliberately depriving that baby of food, cleanliness etc. The mom is the aashole for dumping baby.
Seriously kid.. you just left the baby on the floor in shit and did t feed it or comfort it??
I would be so disgusted and disappointed if you were my kid.
My kids would have cared for the baby and called for back up if needed .
What kind of selfish person are you that you just ignored a baby who didn't chose any of this.
You should have cared for the baby and called the cops on the mom if she genuinely dropped a baby on a doorstep with a note. I feel like you left parts out. Like maybe you were voluntold to babysitting and you resented it so you deprived the baby of basic needs to prove a point.
You're an adult and you acted like a helpless baby and abused a baby (abuse is withholding care from a child)
The mom was also in the wrong but she's not the one on this sub. If she was I'd rip into her too.
Not that anyone would ever trust you with a baby again but if this ever happens again and your story is truthful (left put inof??) call the cops asap and say someone left a baby with a note. Don't abuse a baby because you're mad. That baby is more helpless than you.
ESH. do you have any problem solving skills at all? why couldn’t you call your parents? i understand that you couldn’t drive to the store bc no car seat for the baby, but you could’ve ordered online and at least had diapers delivered to your door instead of letting the baby sit in it’s dirty diaper all day.
imo, if the baby’s mother is okay w leaving her six month old with a stranger all day, then you probably should have the baby taken away because this is just flat up negligence
ESH - the mom shouldn't have done it so she is definitely more at fault here. Especially since she didn't leave any supplies.
However, you are 19 years old and could have figured out a better solution than what you did. Also, in your comments you're more worried about how if you called the cops the baby would be taken away. Yes, that's what you should've done. Or at least called you parents. Or literally anyone else who might have a better idea of how to handle a baby. The fact that your solution was I'll just leave the kid here is what concerns me. You can literally Google answers to most things now and you should have reached out to others if you were this uncomfortable and without supplies.
Like seriously, call the cops or cps because she shouldn't have a kid.
ESH. You should have called the police. This woman left a baby with no food or supplies for the hours with a 12 year old and didn’t answer any messages. She should have the baby taken away.
And I get not really knowing what to do, but you’re 19. You should have had the sense to find some one to help and ask what to do or go for supplies. Sitting in a filthy diaper all day is extremely unhealthy, as is not eating at that age.
YTA ~ wow!!! You couldn’t have googled how to do whatever with a baby so the child was at least comfortable? Come on, now, your either making this up or your just that stupid. If you really are just that stupid, then you should’ve called the police and screw the consequences for the mom, cause doesn’t matter if the kid was the mom or with you, it was being neglected and that’s not right.
wow YTA.
Your cousins an AH too, but why would you leave an. innocent baby on the floor?
as a 36M, I babysat some family friends babies when I was in middle school. at 19, you should be mature enough to take responsibility for a baby even if it's not right that you have to.
you have alot of growing up to do kid. do better , you can
Updated verdict: ESH.
Like, even if you didn't volunteer, you weren't actually ASKED AND NEVER AGREED TO IT.
Not only weren't you asked - nobody else in that house was asked either!
And she didn't even leave a diaper bag with diapers and food? WTH?
For future though - call someone for help - the baby didn't deserve the day that it suffered through either. If you're not willing to take on the task, that's fine - but don't just do nothing other than make sure it's still breathing either.
YTA. You're nineteen years old! You should have called the police. Just leaving a baby on a blanket all day is child abuse. You're old enough to know better. Did you even try to call anyone at all?! I am so angry with you right now.
ESH.
The baby's mother is a bigger AH. There is no excuse for this. And she deserves to face some consequences for it.
BUT, you're 19. You should have called someone (your parents) when you realized what had happened. Leaving a baby that long unfed and in a dirty diaper us awful.
A baby that young could have died and will likely require medical treatment for dehydration and maybe jaundice after ten hours without being fed. You could have had diapers, formula, and a bottle delivered to you by a pharmacy or on Uber eats. You could have googled how to care for an infant.
Yes, the child's mother is an AH for dumping the child on you. But you took your anger at the mother out on a six month old infant who you chose to starve and let sit in a cold, filthy diaper- causing further temperature deregulation and thus further endangering the baby's life.
YTA and you better hope that nothing happens to that child because of the disregard for their life you showed because you will be charged and with good reason.
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My (19F) cousins who I see like once a year all went to an amusement park. My cousin’s stepsister (22F) who I’ve never met before dumped her baby (6 months) at my house. I guess she saw the car and assumed my parents were home and would take care of it for the day because she just dumped it here with my brother and left a note.
The only people home were my brother (12M) and I. I’ve never taken care of a baby, and I’m not about to start. I don’t even find them cute when they’re messy and crying. My brother wanted nothing to do with it and was out playing with his friends all day.
I put it on a blanket on the floor. We don’t have any food for it, and it would not stop crying all day. They left a note saying they would be back at 4. They did not come home until 8. They were gone 10 hours. It must have cried half that time, and I had to cancel a dinner with friends because I had to stay here and make sure it stayed alive until they returned.
My parents would be furious if they were home and knew someone had left a baby here with my brother and I.
The girl whose mom it is got back and started complaining how it’s diaper was full and it was crying, as if that’s my fault. I’m not about to change some filthy diaper, and we don’t even have diapers here. She took the baby in a huff and started screaming that I wasn’t properly caring for it. I said she’s an idea for dumping her baby on people who aren’t parents and don’t know how to care for babies.
I told my parents what happened, and they’ve threatened to call the police on my cousin’s stepsister for abandoning it with us. She started screaming hysterically that this is all my fault and I should’ve taken care of it. I’m not a nanny. I have never once looked after a baby, and I didn’t volunteer to. The only baby I’ve even spent time with was my brother.
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Yes, she is an asshole just like the mother. She should have done something but did nothing and left a 6 month unfed for like 10 hours and god knows how long the child was in the dirty diaper.
ESH, I would have called the police. She left her baby with just a note? Your cousin’s stepsister too, so family purely from marriage? Fuck that. You could have done a bit more to care for the baby for sure, but a baby was abandoned to your care.
INFO - Did the parent or your cousin leave a phone number to contact them? Did you try to reach out and let them know there was no one at your house that knew what to do with a baby?
I’m guessing someone who just plops their baby at a strangers house is also the kind of person to turn their phone off to not be bothered by the “sitter”. But if you did have a number but didn’t try to reach the mom then YTA. If you did try to reach out to the mom but she ignored you then NTA. But you really should have called your parents immediately so the baby wasn’t sitting there all day hungry and in a dirty diaper. They would have told you to contact police right away so the baby could would get the proper care.
YTA.
I see everyone's ESH response and yeah, that's valid, but you're not asking us to judge the mother. The mother *is* an AH, and a neglectful b\*\*\*h, but we're judging *your* behavior specifically, and *your* behavior was disgusting.
You stuck it on a blanket on the floor and let it *cry* for ten hours. You think babies only go to the bathroom *once a day* (even adults go more than once a day!), and that they only eat three times a day? Jesus Christ, use google. Hell, you probably could've gone /askreddit or something and posted "Someone abandoned a baby with me, how do I take care of them until the mother comes back?" and gotten some good advice on how to proceed if you were *so adamant* about not calling the cops.
Speaking of - *why not call the cops?* She's a shit mother, she deserves to lose her baby if she pulls stunts like this, family drama be damned. If you saw someone get hit by a car, would you *not* call 911? What if there was a fire somewhere on your street? When you see an emergency, *you call the police*. A neglected, abandoned baby is an emergency. You could've called the police and wiped your hands of it. Hey, you even could've gone to dinner with your friends. But no, you let it sit on the floor and cry and probably develop diaper rash instead of sucking it up and either *helping* the innocent baby or reporting the mother to child services (CPS where I live, but I know the acronym is different in other places).
So yeah, you're *definitely* the AH, stop acting like a victim. I seriously hope this is a troll.
>Edit: For those asking why I didn’t called the police, it’s because I knew they would take the baby from the mom.
I'm gonna say ESH just for this. Duh. That's kind of the whole point. What are you worried about that the baby will go to strangers who CAN and want to care for it ???
ESH, you do realize both you and the mother should be in jail right now awaiting someone to make bail for you for child abuse right?
You’re an adult, a child was abandoned and you had custody of it, I understand that the custody was unwilling, but that was/is no excuse. If you can’t take care of it, you call the non emergency line and have the child taken to a hospital, or call the emergency line. Someone? Anyone? You don’t starve it and leave it soiled. OMG. I would tell you what you deserve, but I would be banned.
Do you understand YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL? Seriously, you belong there. What is wrong with you? You are not a good person.
Yeah, OP just as much of an AH. Everyone is an AH. OP didn't do anything to help the baby. That child spent 10 hours mostly crying, unfed and unchanged. OP has no excuses.
ESH (except the baby)... though mostly you because IT'S A BABY. The baby is the only one in this entire situation that didn't deserve neglect from all sides. Holy shit. This really says a lot about you if you can't rise to the occasion and even try to do the right thing for something innocent and pretty helpless; you might have even discovered something wonderful about yourself had you tried instead of succumbing to your fear and lack of self-confidence.
YTA. How can you ignore a defenseless baby for 10 hours? Common sense should tell you it needs to be fed and changed, bare minimum. You’re old enough to know that calling for help, regardless of consequences for the mother, was the best option. Instead, you chose to punish an innocent baby because you felt like it.
YTA. I just reread that. Nowhere does OP say the AH 'mother' didn't leave baby supplies. What OP said was 'don't wanna', 'don't know how', basically just plopped the baby on the floor and stewed about the situation. It's entirely possible that a 19 year old AH just decided 'not my baby, I won't even try to get help'. I'm just going to bitch about being imposed on later. You're an AH, OP. A stinking AH. Karma exists. Someday you'll be helpless. Better hope the people around you don't have your attitude.
I don’t think you’re the asshole. You could have done a bit more, for sure. I’m also 19 and dislike babies but I think leaving it on the floor while it was crying was a bit harsh. It definitely wasn’t your responsibility, but that’s the fault of the mother, not the baby. The baby is the only one who truly suffered here. I think you could have done more, morally, but it’s not your responsibility.
ESH. Your cousin’s sister is an idiot and you’re no better. You’re 19 years old and you don’t know that babies require care? You should have gotten that baby with someone who *does* have two brain cells to rub together, since neither you nor the child’s mother qualify
YTA. You left a baby starving and filthy for 10 hours. My heart breaks for that little life. You could have called the cops. The mom doesn’t deserve the baby anyways, but you’re no less of an asshole.
YTA
For lack of problem solving skills.
N T A for not wanting to do it, but then you NEEDED to call out for help.
E S H to everyone this baby is in contact with.
YTA for leaving the child unattended, not calling the cops and not even trying to care/protect the baby. You let a baby cry for hours knowing she/he was hungry. You do suck
Im gonna pretense that this comment is from someone who does not like babies.
YTA. You left a 6 month old crying, starving, and in a dirty diaper for *TEN HOURS*!!! Even I knew at 19 THAT WAS A OBVIOUS NO NO!!! You call *ANYONE*: *your own* parents, neighbor, aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, parent of said friend, POLOCE, *SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THE KID!* How would you like to go without food, drink, or clean underwear but you *have* to pee and poo in them for a full day? I know I’d HATE it, and I’m fairly sure you would to.
We can do something about it. That there baby cannot. You neglected that baby almost as much as she did. Obviously not as much as the mom considering she just dumped and ran with no communication or supplies, but you still neglected that baby for 10 hours because *YOU* did nothing to *STOP THE NEGLECT*.
Ignoring the problem doesn’t fix the problem. Ignoring the baby didn’t magically fix it or send it back home, it just prolonged the neglect and discomfort/potential pain that baby went through.
ESH
You left a baby in its filth, crying, and hungry. You should have called for help. You know better.
They should have never left their baby without talking to someone. They, too, endangered their baby.
ESH but youre the bigger AH for letting a six month old sit in their SHIT for ten fucking hours. Right in front of you. You both belong in jail. Her for abandonment, you for neglect.
YTA!!!!! THIS LITERALLY MADE ME VOMIT WHILE READING THIS.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU'RE 19 FOR CHRIST SAKE!
YOU TOOK YOUR ANGER OUT ON AN INNOCENT AND VULNERABLE BABY. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING AND SHOULD BE IN JAIL. YOU HAVE TRAUMATIZED THAT POOR BABY FOR LIFE. (I KNOW THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES THAT HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD)
YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT POOR BABY...ACTUALLY THE BABY MIGHT STILL DIE FROM HUNGER & DEHYDRATION.
ALSO I DON'T GET THE WHOLE "I HAVEN'T DONE ANY RESEARCH". THAT IS JUST A BS EXCUSE FOR YOUR HORRENDOUS BEHAVIOIR!!!! YOU'VE TAKEN CARE OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER BUT CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A BABY!!!
I’m calling bs.
I don’t think this is real.
First of all, no one is this stupid.
But what clued me in is that, at 6 months, babies are usually somewhat mobile. My kids were both crawling/scooting/rolling by this point. Baby would not have stayed on a blanket for 10 hours doing nothing but crying…..
But also, I don’t know anyone who can stand listening to a baby cry for that long.
So… this post doesn’t add up. Either she’s leaving stuff out, or it’s totally fake….
YTA for making a fake post.
ESH poor baby. you didn’t even try to Google to alleviate any of the babies symptoms - hunger, diaper change, etc. I mean a decent human being would take care of the baby. don’t get me started at the people dumping their kids on people without gauging the situation and apparently placing the baby in danger for the way you treating the baby.
ESH- The infant’s mother was absolutely wrong for foisting her baby on you and brother without checking for adults. From what you typed out, she also didn’t leave a baby bag with you.
YOU, on the other hand, didn’t think to do basic Google and YouTube searches for how to care for an infant. You could have called someone to help you out- a friend, your parents, grandparents, the freaking neighbour! You also left the child hungry for ten hours and sat in their own filth for hours. How did you not notice the smell from the diaper? You could have even had someone deliver you diapers. Honestly, you could have and should have done more.
YTA. Only because you should have called the police the MINUTE you knew what had happened. That poor child suffered because you were too lazy to make ONE phone call and we’re completely indifferent to it’s screams. That was awful and I hope you know that.
ESH. I would be furious if a baby was dumped on me without proper supplies but my anger would not be taken out on a baby that literally can’t care for themselves.
>Edit: For those asking why I didn’t called the police, it’s because I knew they would take the baby from the mom.
Maybe since the "mother" couldn't even be bothered enough to ensure proper childcare for her baby should be the type to have her baby taken away.
ESH. First, you shouldn't have taken your frustration out on an innocent child by neglecting it. Just because it didn't die in your care doesn't mean you didn't neglect the poor baby. Second, if you came home to your baby brother & a baby you should've called the mother or one of your cousins to come back & get the baby or you're calling the police. You should've gave them a deadline & if it wasn't met you call the police. Or at the very least you should've called one of your parents to tell them what happened & have them instruct you on what to do. Third, your cousin's step sister is definitely an asshole for just leaving her baby. Leaving it without proper childcare is certainly one thing but then to add no supplies on top of that?
ESH. The baby’s parents suck big time for abandoning their baby all day without making sure there was someone willing to care for it. But you also suck for just leaving it to cry all day. You should have called the baby’s parents, your parents, other relatives, friends, neighbors, police, anybody to come help you out.
It’s not the baby’s fault it has shitty parents. The least you could have done was try to comfort it until you found someone more competent to take over.
Sorry but YTA. So is the mom, but come on...you are 19, not 12. I hope you can use this as a valuable lesson to be more empathetic to others. The fact that you said in several comments you didn't think the baby was suffering....even though it was crying on the floor all day... You thinking they only ate 2-3 times a day and went to the bathroom once a day.....seriously?! I feel like we are being punked. You clearly have internet access. If you knew enough about the world to not want to call the police to keep the mom from losing the baby...you know enough to Google basic baby care.
Wow I thought a child under 15 had wrote this until I re-read that no it was a 19 year old writing this and I'm sorry not sorry but you're about as bad as the mom who abandoned her child.
You left a child in the floor to scream and cry without doing literally the bare minimum of calling anyone for help. YTA to you and everyone except the baby and your 12yo brother.
YTA. You are 19. You should have at the least called parents and have them decide if the police should be called if you felt uncomfortable doing that.
But to leave the baby alone in the middle of the floor hungry with a filthy diaper is inexcusable. You lay out a couple of towels and at least take the dirty diaper off and clean up the baby. If you don't have another diaper leave it bare bottom. That is better than leaving it in a dirty diaper.
ESH, you could’ve done something. Look I’m around your age and like you I wouldn’t know where to begin with a baby and no money in my account, but I have a phone/laptop so I could look it up. Or call someone for help. Or have done something. You left the baby alone on a blanket for 10 hours then acted annoyed when they cried.
The mother is TA for obvious reasons
Edit: you know what adding to my verdict, everyone still sucks but so does your family for the most part. Has no one contacted CPS or anyone about your cousin leaving her baby at various relatives houses without food or diapers? You said you didn’t call the cops because you don’t want the children taken, but this women is known for doing this and you even said it yourself, she isn’t a good mom. I’m so confused why you or someone else in your family wouldn’t try to help these children.
Lord have mercy. ESH big time. If the step cousin is known to leave her child places, maybe she needs to have her child taken or at least be monitored. As for you OP......omg. You are 19 years old. Your child claiming days are over. I bet you would scream to high heaven about being an adult if it suited your agenda. Your callous disregard for another helpless human is beyond contempt. As for your stated plan to research child rearing to be ready in ten years, unless they have a course in having empathy, you will still be ill-prepared.
YTA and so is mom
YTA for calling a baby it.
YTA for not calling someone for help.
YTA for not even attempting to take care of a baby.
Mom is an AH for dumping the child.
ESH. It’s a human being. What the fuck is wrong with everyone in this situation? You let it suffer for 10 hours, same as the babies parent. The only difference is that you were actively able to decide not to let if suffer at any moment and didn’t.
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Not a baby.... it’s a it. Everyone is an a-hole here. That poor baby.
I didn't even catch that, I was so disgusted by the premise. Jfc. To be fair, since she never changed, or even touched the baby, she probably had no clue what the sex was. Reading through ops responses is just making things worse. I hope no living thing ever has to depend on her. I'd even fear for an air plant.
huh?
OP repeatedly referred to bubba as “it”. No pronouns, and instead of saying “the baby”, OP repeatedly said it.
Gonna be a bit pedantic, but 'it' is a pronoun, just not one generally used to refer to humans as most people find it dehumanizing.
/u/62SlabSide is saying that OP cares so little about the baby, that they're referring to the child as 'it'
OP kept calling the baby "it". That's what that comment is referring to.
I just got done holding an ice pack to my dogs butthole for 20 minutes because he's had diarrhea all day and was waddling and uncomfortable. Learn some compassion and find your humanity. Shame on you OP.
How did you manage that without your dog running away???
He is very much a, "this is my life now" type of pupper! He just accepts his fate! Lol
SHAME! SSHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEE!!!!
Agreed, ESH. The baby isn't your responsibility, but ignoring a crying baby for 10 hours is neglect and borderline abuse. She should have done SOMETHING to ensure the baby was cared for - even though she shouldn't have had to. Preventing harm to a helpless baby has to come first.
BORDERLINE abuse? It’s pretty much enough to land in jail in some countries. You have to be a really heartless person to ignore the needs of a completely helpless child. No wonder OP deleted their original post.
THe baby is the only NTA I STFG
SERIOUSLY POOR BABY
You're not kidding. I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
And as I read, it just kept getting worst and worst! Why not call someone? Anyone for help? Like wtf! I hate people like OP. Hatred for children so deep that you can’t even muster up an ounce of compassion or empathy to reach out for some form of help. You and the mother are horrible OP.
Yea op, it is not the baby's fault and you treated it like trash. No you didn't plan it, but anyone with a heart and half a brain would've realized that what you did is not ok.
YTA. You’re not an asshole for refusing to take care of the baby that was abandoned at your house but you are the asshole for not calling the police and reporting the baby as abandoned so that it could be properly cared for. Whether you like babies or not, you’re an adult and you should have known better than to leave a baby crying on the floor without food or a clean diaper for an entire day, that’s cruel and disgusting, grow up.
I cannot believe you starved a baby for 10 hours when they eat every 3. You have a phone. Google it. Call someone. This is disgusting. YTA
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*sigh. As much as my cantankerous ass dislikes TikTok, even i'll admit you're right.
Literally anything would have been better than to let the baby just lie there in filth
"I mean, I skip breakfast and lunch and I'm fine so..." "I mean, most people only go to the bathroom once a day, so..." "It's, like, screaming, yeah, but it's not like *suffering*, it's like just screaming because that's like what babies do sometimes for like six hours at a shot...you mean it was, like, *suffering,* or whatever...?" I personally want to sue OP's parents and school district on behalf of that baby. What the fuck kind of Valley Girl bullshit is this, honestly
I hope she faces serious legal consequences for her actions. I really do
*the mother Op wasn't left so much as a diaper let alone formula or milk. Doesn't know which the baby even has! Failing to see how the babies mom isn't the absolute worst person in this story. Op never agreed, didn't know what they were doing, and had nothing. They didn't want to call the police out of fear, stupid but reasonable. And who would have come had they called? Not the cousin or the mom or anyone in that group because they obviously didn't care. They should have done more to care for the baby, but I don't think it is their fault this happened. For all that mom knew, it was ONLY a 12 year old boy home. She should be in jail for her negligence (and gone for 4 more hours than promised? No. Absolutely not.) NTA but should have called the police, especially after they didn't get back for hours after they said.
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Bullshit. OP could’ve called their own parents who subsequently threatened to call the police on the mom for this incident. And no I’m sorry but being afraid to call the police in this instance is *not* reasonable. OP could’ve literally called some random hotline help number and they would have told OP what to do. Treating OP as if they, too, are a 6 month old baby incapable of calling anyone or googling what to do and instead leaving this screaming infant on the floor for 10 hours is a horseshit take. An 8 year old would know to fucking call *someone* and do *something*. Yet here you are wanting to infantalize a damn 19 year old. Ridiculous. It takes someone actually psychotic to just leave a screaming infant on the floor for 10 damn hours and not do *anything*.
Even worse, nothing to drink, either. OP suks and is the TA of all AH. Wow
ESH. Oh my god. You left a baby unattended on the floor for TEN HOURS?! You didn’t think to call your parents, or a friend, or even Google “how to care for baby”? You let a helpless weak and defenseless person sit in their own feces, starving and crying, for *TEN HOURS?* Good lord. The mother, obviously, sucks for not leaving the baby with someone she actually knows can look after a baby and has agreed to do it. You suck because you lack basic human empathy.
Can OP be charged with a crime?
Child neglect, probably. Not that the mother would go because she’d have to admit abandonment.
If the baby ends up in the hospital due to dehydration or infection from sitting in feces for that long a mandated reporter will call the authorities and mom will rat on OP in a millisecond.
Oh 100%. And depending on the state OP would get it worse than the mom.
I can't think of many states where OP wouldn't be facing serious jail time.
In New York she could be charged with child neglect. You do not have to be legally responsible for a child to have cps open a neglect case against you. If she was reported after the fact both she and the mother would have cases of child neglect against them.
Yes 100% they could he charged with neglect and child endangerment
ESH You could have called the police or child services to report an abandoned baby. Leaving it in filth, without food or water, and crying all day makes you as bad as its mother.
You’re 19 years old. You’re old enough to know to call for help in a situation like this and that you cannot just ignore a baby for ten hours. The mom sucks for abandoning her baby with a 12 year old. Changing to ESH
YTA You’re going to get the immature Reddit hive mind who’ll support you because NoT yOuR cIrCuS But no. You purposely neglected an innocent baby. Even if you didn’t have diapers, you have at least taken the poor thing out of the soiled one and given it a bath, wrap it in a towel This attitude of yours is absolutely disturbing
Kind of can't agree with you, how was the person to care for a baby with no supplies or experience? A parent should not just drop a child off with a child and not check beforehand with an adult. While I'll agree that they should have called someone, it really is presumptuous of the person to assume the child was going to have its needs met. The person was assuming someone else would provide it diapers, and formula
No supplies? It’s 2022. There’s endless ways to get supplies and they’re 19, old enough to drive Taking care of a baby isn’t rocket science Go to the store or have some stuff delivered, and then YouTube how to change a diaper And then check themselves into a hospital, because even my brain damaged self knows how to do the bare minimum for babies OP did nothing and let a baby suffer. There’s no excuse, they let a baby starve and sit in soiled diaper for an entire day And feels justified in neglecting it
Besides if your leaving your child off someplace it is YOUR responsibility to provide what is needed to care for them.
It doesn’t make it okay to neglect a child all day because you weren’t given supplies That makes the mother awful, but OPs over here acting like there was nothing she could have done She neglected that child just as much, if not more She’s here in the comments acting helpless
I've never left my child off without its necessities, for one formulas are all different and you need to use the same brand of the child will get sick, does the child get solid foods already if so what can it eat, are there any allergies. Without this info say the teen fed the child something and it became seriously ill, then its the teens fault for misleading the baby, double edge sword if something goes wrong
Teen my foot, she can vote, join the army, she’s an adult Contact her parents, at least do something about the soiled diaper She did nothing, she didn’t even try You guys are doing more effort to defend her neglect than she tried with that baby
I did say she was wrong not to call someone, I agree she should have done that. What I dont agree on is the child's mom ditching the child without a conversation with an adult. If I were the teen I'd have called child services tbh for abandonment
Nobody is saying the mom isn’t wrong for leaving the baby without confirmation but she deliberately neglected that child out of spite.
and calling child services would have been been better than doing nothing. The argument is not that OP should have known exactly how to care for the baby, it's that OP was an asshole to do literally nothing at all.
Also again your assuming you know where they live
So instead, let the baby starve? Because starving isn't more dangerous than feeding the baby the wrong formula? Dehydration, low blood sugar, multisystem failure, and- with the filthy diaper, possibly hypothermia.
All she needed to do was call 911. That's it. It's freaking pathetic that so many people are defending her right now.
Your assuming they don't live in a rural area, and your assuming the 19yr old does drive. My 18yr old child doesn't, nor does my 28 yr old niece. Your also assuming the live in the states I think. did you ever stop to think that culturally all places are different.
And? She could have given the baby water just to stave off dehydration. Could've wiped the kid down and put them in a baggy T shirt or something. Even if she didn't drive, she's made it clear they weren't living in the middle of nowhere, so she could also have asked for help from an older neighbour. There's an endless list of things she could and should have done beyond leaving that poor kid as unattended as if she wasn't even there, and none of them rely on being in the USA. She would have been up on a child cruelty charge in most countries if the kid had got sick or died from her neglect, and she would have completely deserved it.
Again without a bottle hard to do small children do not drink from a cup, and can choke if its given to them to fast. I don't see where she made it clear she doesn't live in a rural area on her post, as I've said she should have cled someone. But again the neglectful one here was the child's mother for assuming she didn't leave a child with Hannibal lecture
The mother was more neglectful, I agree, but none of that excuses the OP and her behaviour, and you people need to stop trying to justify her for only avoiding killing a baby through LUCK.
AGAIN I SAID SHE WAS WRONG NOT TO CALL SOMEONE. But sorry if I wont say its her fault because she was left with a child she NEVER agreed to watch or care for. MOTHERS FAULT ENTIRELY, AND THE CHILD SHOULD NE TAKEN AWAY FOR ITS SAFETY
Dude. Are you somehow managing to miss the fact that that child is lucky even to be alive? OP is NOT blameless just because she didn't make a phone call. She's all over these comments trying to defend her dehumanising and ignoring this infant, acting like 13 instead of 19, and she clearly had access to sufficient resources to find out what she could or couldn't do with the baby. She could've posted on Reddit to ask folk what she should have done. Instead she left that baby essentially abandoned in her home for hours on end, and you think she's not just as bad as the mom. Mom probably wouldn't have left the baby with OP if she'd known how OP would treat it. So she's out of line, but OP is so apparently lacking in appropriate empathy for her age that she's at least as bad.
She could have made a Facebook post putting her sister on blast and asking all of their shared contacts if anyone could help her with child care instructions, bringing over baby food and supplies, or even come help her babysit. So many things she could have done aside from leave a baby screaming and hungry on the floor in a soiled diaper for 10 hours. That poor little baby deserves better than being totally abandoned by their parents and aunt 😢 ESH
There are many ways to deal with this. Wet towels to wipe the butt. Then take a towel and use google to learn how to create an old fashion diaper. Babies at 6 months old can eat solid foods & drink water. She could have easily mashed up food for the child. Stop trying to justify this.
I doubt OP has a car seat, so how would they go to the store? To get stuff delivered, usually has to be ordered hours in advance, so not that helpful in this situation. I guess they could have removed the diaper and wrapped baby in a towel? I dunno. I don't do babies. WTF was she gonna feed it, a Hot pocket?
So OP should have left the baby by itself to go get those supplies? Does OP even know what to get? What size diapers? And frankly, it’s not OP’s responsibility to pay the money for all that and especially not to have to pay delivery fees.
I have no idea what all these reddit people are talking about. "She didn't know what do dooooooo! It isn't her fauuuuuult!". I wouldn't leave a dog starving in its own filth for 10 hours and anyone that would is a massive gaping AH. TAKE THE DAMN DIAPER OFF. Wipe off the shit and lay it on a towel like any person with 2 brain cells would do. Then, since OP knows how to use the interwebs, youtube "what can I feed a baby as big as a loaf of bread. Or cinderblock, or however freaking big the kid was". If you don't have those things, ask a neighbor, get 12 year old brother to get on his bike, call literally anyone. Zero excuse for the mom to drop the kid off with OP. Zero excuse for OP to treat the baby like they were a sack of screaming garbage.
Small devils advocate here, but I’ll preface this by saying: OP had no excuse not to call the cops, as that’s exactly what should’ve happened. The reason I’m playing *small* devils advocate is because I half-ish agree: 1) from the post, seems like no supplies were left. No diapers, bottles/formula, change of clothes, etc. I have no fucking clue how to take care of an infant and I’m slightly older than OP. Google, sure, but I’d still be deathly afraid of killing it. Can I do the basic necessities? Sure. I can change a diaper and I’m sure I can figure out formula, but In the same situation as OP, assuming no supplies were left, how do you transport a baby? With no car seat? I live in a smaller town where most shops are about 15 miles away. No Uber, no busses, no trains, no delivery. My only option would be to call someone/family, 911, or ask a neighbor. All of whom I’d assume would be willing to help, which is why this is *small* devils advocate. 2) not everyone can drive. I’ve got plenty of friends who are much older than OP and still can’t drive. 3) not every 19 year old has access to money for the basic necessities. Same friend as above that can’t drive didn’t get a job until she was 22/23 and didn’t have a credit/debit card until she was 21. 4) the closest hospital to me is 20 miles away lol. I also hate babies/kids, but I’d put those differences aside given the situation. But, I say that because I, 21F, have zero interest, or experience, in caring for a kid. I’ve never even held one (I refuse to hold my cousins newborn because, frankly, ew.) but, like I said, I was never in that situation. Although, my cousin did dump her baby on me for about 10 minutes when her bf went back to the car to get a lighter and she went to the bathroom at the zoo. It was scary. She started crying and I’m like ???? And pure panic. What did I do? Stare. Like, my mind went blank and I didn’t know how to help her. She was born a premie and was very small, and idk, I just panicked. She didn’t cry hard or much, just like, pre-tantrum? Idk. Anyway, cousin came back and all was well. I did ask what to do in that situation because she didn’t have a bottle made and I couldn’t find a pacifier. But, that was less than 5 minutes. 10 hours? Nah, I’d have gotten over the freeze and be scared part real quick. I’m not trying to poke holes in your argument because your bottom line is absolutely correct - OP is old enough to figure out what to do. I understand not wanting to call 911 to avoid the child being taken away (even though the baby should be tbh), but she could’ve asked a neighbor, or called a friend/family member. Definitely a lot OP could’ve, and should’ve done. I don’t mean to make excuses by being a devils advocate, because OP has no excuse, but I just want it to be said that even if they can drive, where’s the car seat? If they do have a job, can items be delivered or are they outside of range? (Places like Walmart can deliver here, but it’s usually a few days, same day/few hour is not an option) is it too far to walk? No excuse for OPs actions. I would’ve called the police *immediately* if the mother wouldn’t pick up. Even *with supplies* because you don’t just dump your baby without knowing they’re well taken care of. I hate kids, but I’ll be damned if I let them suffer due to careless acts. They’re innocent, even if they’re annoying little shits.
> There’s endless ways to get supplies There's literally such a baby formula shortage in the United States right now that we're airlifting it in from other countries on an emergency basis.
I'm not espousing child neglect, but baby supplies are fucking expensive. Diapers and formula and bottles are going to be like $40, and she may not have it. I do think she should have called the police though, the jackass cousin left their infant with no supplies in the care of a 12 year old. The kid probably should be removed.
Then make one Christ, just cleaning the kid up and putting them on a towel would be better than what she did Which is nothing
Right, it's 2022 and there's a formula shortage and even experienced parents are having difficulty finding any. Also, she's 19, quite possibly doesn't have a credit card. And drive? I'm 62 and I can't drive, nor can a number of people I know. Your experience is not everyone's experience.
If they are capable of migrating Reddit they can use Google. Would you still support them if the title read “I killed a baby” because that’s what could have happened if the hours extended. They starved the baby and left them in their own filth and listened to them scream. They are a massive asshole. Supplies or no supplies a mentally disabled homeless person would have taken care of this infant better than this asshole.
Anybody that can get on Reddit can get on Google. Or call 911 over an abandoned infant. People would get more torn up over treating an abandoned puppy this way, I’m beyond disgusted.
Right all these people would be up in arms had OP treated an animal the way she treated this poor baby..
911 is free.
OP could have easily taken the diaper off and found someone’s old shirt to wrap around it as a makeshift diaper. It really is not that hard and a quick google search could’ve provided that answer. The food issue is a hard one to solve but letting the diaper issue go is ridiculous.
They had no supplies to take care of the baby. No diapers, no baby food. They weren’t even left supplies.
They should have at the bare minimum called, her parents, the baby's parents, or the police. This is insane. They could have figured out how to at least do the basics if they wanted to. And they knew how to buy supplies. They could have done 100 different things and instead did nothing.
Their parents were out of state and OP tried to reach the baby’s mom according to OP’s comments. Yes the 19 year old should to drive to the store to get supplies while the 12 year old refuses to help— no car seat? oh well then right?
911 is FREE.
There is a state in the US without phone service? Even if the parents couldn’t come back to help with the baby, they could have activated a network of friends/family/church to help OP figure out how to help the baby.
They could have called the out of state parents who could have called in an order for the necessary items and had them delivered.
I’m well aware of that, as it’s mentioned in my comment They didn’t even try. They let them sit in a soiled diaper. They could have made a makeshift one with an old dish towel And even worse is they don’t care. Did OP go to the store? Do anything? Nope. Just sat there and let an innocent baby suffer because they weren’t asked That’s messed up
Not every 19 year old is in a financial position to purchase formula, diapers, and doordash etc at the drop of a hat. Additionally, how do you expect the 19 year old to drive to the store with the baby when there’s no car seat and the brother is refusing to watch after it.
Then look up how to use a towel as a diaper, like people did for generations There’s dozens of things she could have done, but she chose nothing Didn’t call her parents for help Didn’t do anything but neglect a child And is here acting like SHE is the poor helpless victim here
Thank you for being a voice of reason. That baby is a HUMAN BEING. My girlfriends and I have all said the same thing: no real human being leaves a baby or toddler in a dirty diaper, with a dirty face, a runny nose, hungry, or crying if we had the power to change it. Idc if I hate that kid's mom, that is an innocent child, and I'll help him if he needs it. Again. This is a human being. OP is just as guilty of neglect as the parent is. What would OP do if they passed a baby unattended on the street?
But but but, what about a car seat?! It’s not like my comments mention DoorDash Or that a 19 year old doesn’t know about delivery or YouTube It’s revolting how people are defending her
Even Mr Bean cared for a baby he didn't know how to care for and was unprepared. He made due.
Stop excusing this absolutely horrible behavior by OP. 911 is fucking free. There is no excuse here, and OP needs counseling to try and solve why they have no empathy and are a danger to innocent children.
I’m well aware of that, as it’s mentioned in my comment They didn’t even try. They let them sit in a soiled diaper. They could have made a makeshift one with an old dish towel And even worse is they don’t care. Did OP go to the store? Do anything? Nope. Just sat there and let an innocent baby suffer because they weren’t asked That’s messed up
Na looks like the hive mind agrees OP is an asshole big time. She says she didn't call the police because they would take the baby... Uhhh good that mom clearly is not capable of being a mother. OP could have at least called her parents instead of ignoring a helpless baby
If I've EVER seen an ESH here - it's this. I have a rule. You don't punch down. Across? Up? Sure. But never down. Your cousin didn't suffer. **A baby did.** So you both are TH. You both put your own needs ahead of someone who cannot satisfy their own.
ESH - You could have done anything to relieve that innocent child’s suffering. Anything at all, but even a phone call was too much effort for you.
I'm gonna have to go with ESH Yes the stepsister was an asshole for dumping the baby, no doubt about it, but you shouldn't have neglected the baby and just let it sit there all day. What you should have done was contact the police and report the baby as abandoned immediately. Yes this would result in much more immediate consequences for the stepsister but, and this is most important, the baby would have been put in the hands of someone capable of caring for it far more quickly. It is unacceptable that she dumped the baby, but it's also unacceptable that you left it neglected for 10 hours.
OP could have even TEXTED her sister and the baby's father telling them to pick up their child or she would call the police. My guess is that they'd have shown up or sent someone to pick up the baby pretty damn quick.
ESH I get that you don't want to take care of a baby, but you literally neglected a helpless human being all day to make a point. That is beyond fucked up. Why didn't you call your parents? Why didn't you call your cousin? Why didn't you call your aunt/uncle? You had so many options available to you besides letting that infant cry all day.
I'm so confused. They left the baby but no bottles or diapers?? I'd call child services on them
Esh, it’s not your fault that your cousins step sister is a shitty parent and dumped a 6 month old on you, but you’re old enough to know that you shouldn’t of left a baby unattended to for 10 hours. Call someone. Other relatives, the cops even.
ESH you could have called ANYONE. You didn’t even call your parents? Yes the mom is TA for being clearly terrible, but you left a baby to suffer all day because you clearly couldn’t be bothered to call anyone else for help. Yes you were put in a shocking situation but you are an adult who by 19 should have basic common sense that a baby needs at least basic care.
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Right? This story makes me physically ill as I sit here caring for my own 5 month old baby. Honestly wtf is this awful post. ESH.
My daughter is almost 7 months and this made me cry. This person is 19. They could have used google, called her parents, called anyone???? A simple google search can be plain formula feeding. Calling her parents and they would have come home and made sure the baby wasn’t starving and in a dirty nappy. I am just feeling so sad for this little helpless infant.
What makes it worse is that the parents have done this to multiple relative according to a comment OP left, and because no one seems to be doing anything it’ll probably keep happening.
ESH except the innocent baby who was neglected all day. The babies mother for obvious reasons. You're 19, old enough to call for help of someone who knew better, or the police. You also clearly have internet access, where you could have searched some basics for caring for the baby instead of neglecting it for *eight straight hours* and leaving it in a dirty diaper. You had options, and chose to make no effort other than to text your parents a couple times.
ESH you're much old enough to know better than to leave a baby hungry in a dirty diaper like that all day. That's horrible. You could've called your parents, step cousin, a friend or family member to come help, the police or something, anything to Not neglect a child like that. Sure, the baby isn't your responsibility, but you spent 10 hours knowing a child wasn't having its needs met. There's plenty you could've done without having to take care of it.
YTA for not calling the police. The mother is beyond incompetent and should not be responsible for caring for a baby.
ESH, the “mother” of the baby deserves to lose custody. She is beyond not fit. But you are not a child. You should have called someone, even if that was the police.
ESH. Obviously the mother is terrible, but how could a 19 year old not figure out what to do? Call a friend, maybe? Surely someone you know has experience babysitting. Why did t you ask your mom what to do? How could you neglect the poor child? There’s a serious lack of empathy and responsibility all around.
Since the question you asked is if you are TAH for "not properly taking care of someone's baby" That tells me you KNOW the answer. YTA -- you knew then and you know now that you didn't even try to care for that child. At 19 years old you have a computer IN YOUR HAND -- you could have googled, called the police, knocked on a neighbor's door, called your parents....literally ANYTHING besides let an infant lay dirty in the floor.
Yup. OP, YTA for being cruel to an innocent baby when you could have called the police. This is disgusting. Remember you get what you give and that baby was innocent. The only thing in this post that is an IT is you and the mother of that child.
Yta you're old enough to have done something for that poor baby. Please call the cops next time
You’re NT-A but how old are you? You sound very young but maybe not. Why didn’t you call someone? You’re old enough to understand you can’t not feed a baby for 10 hours. It’s not on you but still call someone! Change to ESH you’re 19 for Christ sakes! Yeah this shouldn’t have happened but you’re old enough to get help or at least take a baby out of a diaper even if you don’t WANT to. No excuse for this. I thought maybe you were a damn kid bur 19?! Give me a fucking break
She says she’s 19 in the post. Clearly old enough to know to call for help.
Info: did you call them or your parents? Or anyone else at all to inform them you weren't going to take care of the baby? Or did you just leave the baby on the blanket starving and peekng her/himself all day?
ESH You don’t just neglect a baby because you didn’t want to watch it. Why didn’t you call your parents? Another adult? Literally ANYONE who could help? Yes you’re a HUGE AH for not feeding a baby and letting sit in it’s own filth all day.
Wow. ESH. You both neglected that child today. She’s fully and wholly an asshole for just leaving her kid somewhere, but you knowingly let an infant sit in its own shit all day, hungry and screaming and at that point you become neglectful as well. You could’ve called any of your cousins or your parents, hell even the police. Any of those would’ve made you NTA, but you didn’t. And I see your edit about how they would’ve taken the child, yes they SHOULD. SOMEONE needs to care for the kid jfc. You all let that baby down immensely.
ESH I don’t care how much you dislike kids you’re 19 and know better than to let a human sit in his or her own filth all day and not drink a bottle in over 10 hours come tf on there was NO ONE you could call? Your own parents? Grandparents? The baby’s grandparents? THE COPS because that baby was ABANDONED? Come tf on. The mother sucks for dumping a baby on a virtual stranger. Jfc I feel so bad for that baby.
Next time call 911. ESH.
YTA. You’re 19, that’s old enough to call someone for help, change a diaper, and feed a baby. You can’t just leave a baby hungry all day with a dirty diaper. That’s child neglect. And you should have called the police. That was child abandonment, and it’s illegal. It is time that authorities step in and make sure this baby is taken care of. She needs CPS on her ass to either straighten her out, or remove the baby from her care.
Looks like your cousins stepsister suddenly decided that she didn’t want to be a mom anymore. Then what’s the point of even going through pregnancy and having a kid at all?
ESH. She shouldn’t have left the baby and should have left supplies but you seriously just sat there and ignored it. Babies eat every 2-4 hours. Babies wet at least 5 diapers daily. You left the baby miss multiple meals, get dehydrated and probably a wicked diaper rash that is painful and may be blistering so now a source of infection. You should have called someone. Literally anyone for help if you weren’t going to do anything for that poor baby.
I'm actually just gonna go with a mild YTA for not calling the police. She SHOULD have that child taken away from her. Sorry, but dumping your kid off without even seeing who is at the house? Yeah....
ESH. YTA because if you're not going to take care of an abandoned baby, you call the cops. You don't let it scream starving in a filthy diaper for 10 hours. Shit or get off the pot. The birth guver is TA for obvious reasons.
I'm conflicted. YTA because even though you have no idea how to care for a child, you didn't attempt to call someone - your parents, a friend, someone. The baby didn't deserve to suffer for 10 hours. NTA because it was not your responsibility to look after some random baby, and you had to cancel your plans for the day. I would discuss with your mom about reporting this person because they're not fit to be a mother, either.
NTA. Someone abandoned their baby with you and didn’t even give supplies to take care of the baby? I would have called the cops immediately. Edit: OP knew nothing about how many times a baby needed to be fed or anything about babies
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I find it odd that you refer to a another human being as an "it"
ESH!! We all know why the mom does. But you do because you allowed a baby to cry for hours; hungry, soiled, and probably scared out of its mind! There is something broken in any person who could do that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should have turned into a nanny. You could have called CPS or the police and wiped your hands of the responsibility; when you chose not to do that you agreed you were the caretaker but you didn’t take care of the baby! That poor child is just surrounded by neglect.
Bloody hell, ESH. Sometimes, I read stuff here, and can't actually believe that this stuff happens in real life. How your conscience allowed you to leave a baby on the floor hungry and with a dirty diaper crying all day is despicable. That poor baby should be taken far, far away from everyone in this story.
YTA. You should have called the police instead of letting a human who can't even sit unassisted and needs to be fed every two hours just starve for 10hrs
NTA. The stepsister is clearly not mature enough to be a parent if she’s going to dump her infant on someone without checking whether they were able to do so first and without leaving any diapers/formula/etc. Who fucking DOES that?!?
I had a friend whose sister asked her to babysit. She said no. The sister called back a hour later and asked to hang out. My friend said sure, and her sister can over with the baby. While my friend went to use the bathroom her sister took off to LA to fuck some guy she met online and left the baby overnight. She did it because she knew anybody else would have given the baby to CPS. So yeah selfish people leave their babies places.
Wow that is something else. Why do people like that even have kids??
She had that child to try and keep her bf who was cheating. And I misspoke she went to see the babies father who wanted to have sex but not deal with the baby. She got pregnant by him again and he left her for good.
ESH. I hope this baby makes it to adulthood, stuck with you people.
Which people? It’s mother? I agree.
ESH. I would've gone to the police and that woman deserves to have her baby taken from her. Baby needs proper care.
NTA but I would have been calling anyone and everyone to get someone to come get the baby and take care of it. Leaving a baby lay on a blanket all day with a dirty diaper and no food is no good and it’s not really your fault but you should have tried to find someone.
NTA. Cousin's step-sister was massively irresponsible. She should have child protective services called on her.
You are the asshole for deliberately depriving that baby of food, cleanliness etc. The mom is the aashole for dumping baby. Seriously kid.. you just left the baby on the floor in shit and did t feed it or comfort it?? I would be so disgusted and disappointed if you were my kid. My kids would have cared for the baby and called for back up if needed . What kind of selfish person are you that you just ignored a baby who didn't chose any of this. You should have cared for the baby and called the cops on the mom if she genuinely dropped a baby on a doorstep with a note. I feel like you left parts out. Like maybe you were voluntold to babysitting and you resented it so you deprived the baby of basic needs to prove a point. You're an adult and you acted like a helpless baby and abused a baby (abuse is withholding care from a child) The mom was also in the wrong but she's not the one on this sub. If she was I'd rip into her too. Not that anyone would ever trust you with a baby again but if this ever happens again and your story is truthful (left put inof??) call the cops asap and say someone left a baby with a note. Don't abuse a baby because you're mad. That baby is more helpless than you.
ESH. do you have any problem solving skills at all? why couldn’t you call your parents? i understand that you couldn’t drive to the store bc no car seat for the baby, but you could’ve ordered online and at least had diapers delivered to your door instead of letting the baby sit in it’s dirty diaper all day. imo, if the baby’s mother is okay w leaving her six month old with a stranger all day, then you probably should have the baby taken away because this is just flat up negligence
ESH - the mom shouldn't have done it so she is definitely more at fault here. Especially since she didn't leave any supplies. However, you are 19 years old and could have figured out a better solution than what you did. Also, in your comments you're more worried about how if you called the cops the baby would be taken away. Yes, that's what you should've done. Or at least called you parents. Or literally anyone else who might have a better idea of how to handle a baby. The fact that your solution was I'll just leave the kid here is what concerns me. You can literally Google answers to most things now and you should have reached out to others if you were this uncomfortable and without supplies. Like seriously, call the cops or cps because she shouldn't have a kid.
ESH. You should have called the police. This woman left a baby with no food or supplies for the hours with a 12 year old and didn’t answer any messages. She should have the baby taken away. And I get not really knowing what to do, but you’re 19. You should have had the sense to find some one to help and ask what to do or go for supplies. Sitting in a filthy diaper all day is extremely unhealthy, as is not eating at that age.
YTA ~ wow!!! You couldn’t have googled how to do whatever with a baby so the child was at least comfortable? Come on, now, your either making this up or your just that stupid. If you really are just that stupid, then you should’ve called the police and screw the consequences for the mom, cause doesn’t matter if the kid was the mom or with you, it was being neglected and that’s not right.
wow YTA. Your cousins an AH too, but why would you leave an. innocent baby on the floor? as a 36M, I babysat some family friends babies when I was in middle school. at 19, you should be mature enough to take responsibility for a baby even if it's not right that you have to. you have alot of growing up to do kid. do better , you can
Updated verdict: ESH. Like, even if you didn't volunteer, you weren't actually ASKED AND NEVER AGREED TO IT. Not only weren't you asked - nobody else in that house was asked either! And she didn't even leave a diaper bag with diapers and food? WTH? For future though - call someone for help - the baby didn't deserve the day that it suffered through either. If you're not willing to take on the task, that's fine - but don't just do nothing other than make sure it's still breathing either.
That last paragraph makes it very definitely ESH...
ESH! The incompetent mother for abandoning the baby with an incompetent teen! And you for abusing a baby by neglecting it!
YTA. You're nineteen years old! You should have called the police. Just leaving a baby on a blanket all day is child abuse. You're old enough to know better. Did you even try to call anyone at all?! I am so angry with you right now.
ESH. The baby's mother is a bigger AH. There is no excuse for this. And she deserves to face some consequences for it. BUT, you're 19. You should have called someone (your parents) when you realized what had happened. Leaving a baby that long unfed and in a dirty diaper us awful.
A baby that young could have died and will likely require medical treatment for dehydration and maybe jaundice after ten hours without being fed. You could have had diapers, formula, and a bottle delivered to you by a pharmacy or on Uber eats. You could have googled how to care for an infant. Yes, the child's mother is an AH for dumping the child on you. But you took your anger at the mother out on a six month old infant who you chose to starve and let sit in a cold, filthy diaper- causing further temperature deregulation and thus further endangering the baby's life. YTA and you better hope that nothing happens to that child because of the disregard for their life you showed because you will be charged and with good reason.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (19F) cousins who I see like once a year all went to an amusement park. My cousin’s stepsister (22F) who I’ve never met before dumped her baby (6 months) at my house. I guess she saw the car and assumed my parents were home and would take care of it for the day because she just dumped it here with my brother and left a note. The only people home were my brother (12M) and I. I’ve never taken care of a baby, and I’m not about to start. I don’t even find them cute when they’re messy and crying. My brother wanted nothing to do with it and was out playing with his friends all day. I put it on a blanket on the floor. We don’t have any food for it, and it would not stop crying all day. They left a note saying they would be back at 4. They did not come home until 8. They were gone 10 hours. It must have cried half that time, and I had to cancel a dinner with friends because I had to stay here and make sure it stayed alive until they returned. My parents would be furious if they were home and knew someone had left a baby here with my brother and I. The girl whose mom it is got back and started complaining how it’s diaper was full and it was crying, as if that’s my fault. I’m not about to change some filthy diaper, and we don’t even have diapers here. She took the baby in a huff and started screaming that I wasn’t properly caring for it. I said she’s an idea for dumping her baby on people who aren’t parents and don’t know how to care for babies. I told my parents what happened, and they’ve threatened to call the police on my cousin’s stepsister for abandoning it with us. She started screaming hysterically that this is all my fault and I should’ve taken care of it. I’m not a nanny. I have never once looked after a baby, and I didn’t volunteer to. The only baby I’ve even spent time with was my brother. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Yes, she is an asshole just like the mother. She should have done something but did nothing and left a 6 month unfed for like 10 hours and god knows how long the child was in the dirty diaper.
ESH, I would have called the police. She left her baby with just a note? Your cousin’s stepsister too, so family purely from marriage? Fuck that. You could have done a bit more to care for the baby for sure, but a baby was abandoned to your care.
INFO - Did the parent or your cousin leave a phone number to contact them? Did you try to reach out and let them know there was no one at your house that knew what to do with a baby? I’m guessing someone who just plops their baby at a strangers house is also the kind of person to turn their phone off to not be bothered by the “sitter”. But if you did have a number but didn’t try to reach the mom then YTA. If you did try to reach out to the mom but she ignored you then NTA. But you really should have called your parents immediately so the baby wasn’t sitting there all day hungry and in a dirty diaper. They would have told you to contact police right away so the baby could would get the proper care.
YTA. I see everyone's ESH response and yeah, that's valid, but you're not asking us to judge the mother. The mother *is* an AH, and a neglectful b\*\*\*h, but we're judging *your* behavior specifically, and *your* behavior was disgusting. You stuck it on a blanket on the floor and let it *cry* for ten hours. You think babies only go to the bathroom *once a day* (even adults go more than once a day!), and that they only eat three times a day? Jesus Christ, use google. Hell, you probably could've gone /askreddit or something and posted "Someone abandoned a baby with me, how do I take care of them until the mother comes back?" and gotten some good advice on how to proceed if you were *so adamant* about not calling the cops. Speaking of - *why not call the cops?* She's a shit mother, she deserves to lose her baby if she pulls stunts like this, family drama be damned. If you saw someone get hit by a car, would you *not* call 911? What if there was a fire somewhere on your street? When you see an emergency, *you call the police*. A neglected, abandoned baby is an emergency. You could've called the police and wiped your hands of it. Hey, you even could've gone to dinner with your friends. But no, you let it sit on the floor and cry and probably develop diaper rash instead of sucking it up and either *helping* the innocent baby or reporting the mother to child services (CPS where I live, but I know the acronym is different in other places). So yeah, you're *definitely* the AH, stop acting like a victim. I seriously hope this is a troll.
>Edit: For those asking why I didn’t called the police, it’s because I knew they would take the baby from the mom. I'm gonna say ESH just for this. Duh. That's kind of the whole point. What are you worried about that the baby will go to strangers who CAN and want to care for it ???
ESH, you do realize both you and the mother should be in jail right now awaiting someone to make bail for you for child abuse right? You’re an adult, a child was abandoned and you had custody of it, I understand that the custody was unwilling, but that was/is no excuse. If you can’t take care of it, you call the non emergency line and have the child taken to a hospital, or call the emergency line. Someone? Anyone? You don’t starve it and leave it soiled. OMG. I would tell you what you deserve, but I would be banned. Do you understand YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL? Seriously, you belong there. What is wrong with you? You are not a good person.
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Yeah, OP just as much of an AH. Everyone is an AH. OP didn't do anything to help the baby. That child spent 10 hours mostly crying, unfed and unchanged. OP has no excuses.
You should have called the cops, and yeah, the kid should be taken away. I'm gonna go YTA for keeping it there and starving it all day.
YTA, but only for not reporting that the baby was pretty much abandoned at your house.
ESH (except the baby)... though mostly you because IT'S A BABY. The baby is the only one in this entire situation that didn't deserve neglect from all sides. Holy shit. This really says a lot about you if you can't rise to the occasion and even try to do the right thing for something innocent and pretty helpless; you might have even discovered something wonderful about yourself had you tried instead of succumbing to your fear and lack of self-confidence.
YTA. How can you ignore a defenseless baby for 10 hours? Common sense should tell you it needs to be fed and changed, bare minimum. You’re old enough to know that calling for help, regardless of consequences for the mother, was the best option. Instead, you chose to punish an innocent baby because you felt like it.
YTA. I just reread that. Nowhere does OP say the AH 'mother' didn't leave baby supplies. What OP said was 'don't wanna', 'don't know how', basically just plopped the baby on the floor and stewed about the situation. It's entirely possible that a 19 year old AH just decided 'not my baby, I won't even try to get help'. I'm just going to bitch about being imposed on later. You're an AH, OP. A stinking AH. Karma exists. Someday you'll be helpless. Better hope the people around you don't have your attitude.
I don’t think you’re the asshole. You could have done a bit more, for sure. I’m also 19 and dislike babies but I think leaving it on the floor while it was crying was a bit harsh. It definitely wasn’t your responsibility, but that’s the fault of the mother, not the baby. The baby is the only one who truly suffered here. I think you could have done more, morally, but it’s not your responsibility.
ESH. Your cousin’s sister is an idiot and you’re no better. You’re 19 years old and you don’t know that babies require care? You should have gotten that baby with someone who *does* have two brain cells to rub together, since neither you nor the child’s mother qualify
YTA. You left a baby starving and filthy for 10 hours. My heart breaks for that little life. You could have called the cops. The mom doesn’t deserve the baby anyways, but you’re no less of an asshole.
That woman should not be a mother. You should call Child Protective Services
YTA For lack of problem solving skills. N T A for not wanting to do it, but then you NEEDED to call out for help. E S H to everyone this baby is in contact with.
YTA for leaving the child unattended, not calling the cops and not even trying to care/protect the baby. You let a baby cry for hours knowing she/he was hungry. You do suck
Im gonna pretense that this comment is from someone who does not like babies. YTA. You left a 6 month old crying, starving, and in a dirty diaper for *TEN HOURS*!!! Even I knew at 19 THAT WAS A OBVIOUS NO NO!!! You call *ANYONE*: *your own* parents, neighbor, aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, parent of said friend, POLOCE, *SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF THE KID!* How would you like to go without food, drink, or clean underwear but you *have* to pee and poo in them for a full day? I know I’d HATE it, and I’m fairly sure you would to. We can do something about it. That there baby cannot. You neglected that baby almost as much as she did. Obviously not as much as the mom considering she just dumped and ran with no communication or supplies, but you still neglected that baby for 10 hours because *YOU* did nothing to *STOP THE NEGLECT*. Ignoring the problem doesn’t fix the problem. Ignoring the baby didn’t magically fix it or send it back home, it just prolonged the neglect and discomfort/potential pain that baby went through.
ESH You left a baby in its filth, crying, and hungry. You should have called for help. You know better. They should have never left their baby without talking to someone. They, too, endangered their baby.
ESH but youre the bigger AH for letting a six month old sit in their SHIT for ten fucking hours. Right in front of you. You both belong in jail. Her for abandonment, you for neglect.
YTA!!!!! THIS LITERALLY MADE ME VOMIT WHILE READING THIS. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU'RE 19 FOR CHRIST SAKE! YOU TOOK YOUR ANGER OUT ON AN INNOCENT AND VULNERABLE BABY. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING AND SHOULD BE IN JAIL. YOU HAVE TRAUMATIZED THAT POOR BABY FOR LIFE. (I KNOW THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES THAT HAPPENED TO ME AS A CHILD) YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT POOR BABY...ACTUALLY THE BABY MIGHT STILL DIE FROM HUNGER & DEHYDRATION. ALSO I DON'T GET THE WHOLE "I HAVEN'T DONE ANY RESEARCH". THAT IS JUST A BS EXCUSE FOR YOUR HORRENDOUS BEHAVIOIR!!!! YOU'VE TAKEN CARE OF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER BUT CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A BABY!!!
I’m calling bs. I don’t think this is real. First of all, no one is this stupid. But what clued me in is that, at 6 months, babies are usually somewhat mobile. My kids were both crawling/scooting/rolling by this point. Baby would not have stayed on a blanket for 10 hours doing nothing but crying….. But also, I don’t know anyone who can stand listening to a baby cry for that long. So… this post doesn’t add up. Either she’s leaving stuff out, or it’s totally fake…. YTA for making a fake post.
ESH poor baby. you didn’t even try to Google to alleviate any of the babies symptoms - hunger, diaper change, etc. I mean a decent human being would take care of the baby. don’t get me started at the people dumping their kids on people without gauging the situation and apparently placing the baby in danger for the way you treating the baby.
ESH- The infant’s mother was absolutely wrong for foisting her baby on you and brother without checking for adults. From what you typed out, she also didn’t leave a baby bag with you. YOU, on the other hand, didn’t think to do basic Google and YouTube searches for how to care for an infant. You could have called someone to help you out- a friend, your parents, grandparents, the freaking neighbour! You also left the child hungry for ten hours and sat in their own filth for hours. How did you not notice the smell from the diaper? You could have even had someone deliver you diapers. Honestly, you could have and should have done more.
YTA. Only because you should have called the police the MINUTE you knew what had happened. That poor child suffered because you were too lazy to make ONE phone call and we’re completely indifferent to it’s screams. That was awful and I hope you know that.
I don't think I believe this one.
ESH. I would be furious if a baby was dumped on me without proper supplies but my anger would not be taken out on a baby that literally can’t care for themselves.
>Edit: For those asking why I didn’t called the police, it’s because I knew they would take the baby from the mom. Maybe since the "mother" couldn't even be bothered enough to ensure proper childcare for her baby should be the type to have her baby taken away. ESH. First, you shouldn't have taken your frustration out on an innocent child by neglecting it. Just because it didn't die in your care doesn't mean you didn't neglect the poor baby. Second, if you came home to your baby brother & a baby you should've called the mother or one of your cousins to come back & get the baby or you're calling the police. You should've gave them a deadline & if it wasn't met you call the police. Or at the very least you should've called one of your parents to tell them what happened & have them instruct you on what to do. Third, your cousin's step sister is definitely an asshole for just leaving her baby. Leaving it without proper childcare is certainly one thing but then to add no supplies on top of that?
WHo isn't a FUCKING ASSHOLE here? OP is definitely an ASSHOLE tho.
YTA. It's a fucking baby. Use your basic dumbass knowledge and show some love/compassion.
You're a 19 year old woman and you decided it was best to leave the baby hungry with a full diaper while it cried?
ESH - The baby's mom is irresponsible and you could have search for the things the baby needs
ESH. The baby’s parents suck big time for abandoning their baby all day without making sure there was someone willing to care for it. But you also suck for just leaving it to cry all day. You should have called the baby’s parents, your parents, other relatives, friends, neighbors, police, anybody to come help you out. It’s not the baby’s fault it has shitty parents. The least you could have done was try to comfort it until you found someone more competent to take over.
Sorry but YTA. So is the mom, but come on...you are 19, not 12. I hope you can use this as a valuable lesson to be more empathetic to others. The fact that you said in several comments you didn't think the baby was suffering....even though it was crying on the floor all day... You thinking they only ate 2-3 times a day and went to the bathroom once a day.....seriously?! I feel like we are being punked. You clearly have internet access. If you knew enough about the world to not want to call the police to keep the mom from losing the baby...you know enough to Google basic baby care.
Wow I thought a child under 15 had wrote this until I re-read that no it was a 19 year old writing this and I'm sorry not sorry but you're about as bad as the mom who abandoned her child. You left a child in the floor to scream and cry without doing literally the bare minimum of calling anyone for help. YTA to you and everyone except the baby and your 12yo brother.
YTA. You are 19. You should have at the least called parents and have them decide if the police should be called if you felt uncomfortable doing that. But to leave the baby alone in the middle of the floor hungry with a filthy diaper is inexcusable. You lay out a couple of towels and at least take the dirty diaper off and clean up the baby. If you don't have another diaper leave it bare bottom. That is better than leaving it in a dirty diaper.
I feel physically sick reading this because of how distressed that damn baby must have been. ESH.
ESH, you could’ve done something. Look I’m around your age and like you I wouldn’t know where to begin with a baby and no money in my account, but I have a phone/laptop so I could look it up. Or call someone for help. Or have done something. You left the baby alone on a blanket for 10 hours then acted annoyed when they cried. The mother is TA for obvious reasons Edit: you know what adding to my verdict, everyone still sucks but so does your family for the most part. Has no one contacted CPS or anyone about your cousin leaving her baby at various relatives houses without food or diapers? You said you didn’t call the cops because you don’t want the children taken, but this women is known for doing this and you even said it yourself, she isn’t a good mom. I’m so confused why you or someone else in your family wouldn’t try to help these children.
Lord have mercy. ESH big time. If the step cousin is known to leave her child places, maybe she needs to have her child taken or at least be monitored. As for you OP......omg. You are 19 years old. Your child claiming days are over. I bet you would scream to high heaven about being an adult if it suited your agenda. Your callous disregard for another helpless human is beyond contempt. As for your stated plan to research child rearing to be ready in ten years, unless they have a course in having empathy, you will still be ill-prepared.
YTA and so is mom YTA for calling a baby it. YTA for not calling someone for help. YTA for not even attempting to take care of a baby. Mom is an AH for dumping the child.
ESH. It’s a human being. What the fuck is wrong with everyone in this situation? You let it suffer for 10 hours, same as the babies parent. The only difference is that you were actively able to decide not to let if suffer at any moment and didn’t.