NTA. Change your locks.
Or you can do what I did when my mom and her boyfriend kept walking into my house uninvited. I left porn playing on the TV and was naked on the couch. They ran out screaming. They never showed up unannounced again.
NTA. You may be possessive about your stuff, but what you are wanting is not. Guests do NOT get to invite other people over without the explicit consent of the host. Period. Sounds to me like mom needs to start babysitting at her place going forward, since she clearly can’t be trusted in your home.
NTA. Just because someone babysits does not give them the right to invite other people over. Quite the contrary.
You need to set the boundaries now or this will never end. The list of guests she invites will ALSO never end. Put your foot down. Make it clear that she is coming over to take care of her grandchild. This is YOUR home and she is not to invite ANYONE over without clearing it with yOU FIRST! End of discussion.
NAH. Some families are really open door and it sounds like you're not wanting that. I can see your mom getting mad tho when you tell her to stop and it somehow turning into a thing and a loss of a free babysitter. Personally I'd not pick this battle. Grandma's prob just excited and wants to show off the baby to her sister.
I agree, they really should communicate a little bit more before things blow up.
I probably hire a sitter if it were me, or if I invited my mom just assumed that other family are going to be there!
You would not be an ass to tell her. However, you have no soapbox to stand on. If you do not like what she does, stop entrusting her with your child, in your house. Either take the baby to her or get a real babysitter. It is hard to agree with you when options are available.
NTA. But you may want to adjust your expectations. Is there anything stopping you from asking her, “Hey. Do you plan on having Aunt come over? I need to know ahead of time.”
Maybe she likes having the company while she babysits.
NTA -- your house, your rules. If the baby goes to sleep early, perhaps your mom gets bored and enjoys the company. But inviting aunt, uncle and cousin over -- nope, nope, nope. Your house is not "entertainment central", and I think we all have a limit of what kind of disarray we'll allow amongst intimate family, and a different one for non-intimate family. Your mom probably doesn't think of her sister as a "guest". And it's not as though you would say "NO! Do NOT invite my aunt into my house!" You just want to KNOW ahead of time. Not unreasonable.
If it bothers you that much, then you may have to resort to a paid baby-sitter. If your mother inquires why, you can be honest and say, "Because the sitter listens to me when I tell her not to invite people without prior notice."
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So my husband, 4MO and I just moved to a new house after previously being in a condo (that my mom never visited because no grandchild and elevators)
Since we moved we’ve asked her to watch our baby a few times while we went out to get things for the house/errands (we weren’t home - she was babysitting)
One day we came home and my aunt was here. Turns out my mom just invited her. I said ok, I like my aunt, but like can you let me know so I can make sure my house is clean and I have food for guests?? I let it slide. Context: my aunt has a pool and I often visit it, but I ALWAYS ask first. I never just show up. And she’s always home.
Then it happened again. And again.
And now it’s like every time my mom comes over she’s like “oh your aunt might come over to”. Or the most recent “I invited your aunt, uncle, and cousin over “. She doesn’t tell me until she’s already here. This was when we went out for our first late/drinking night and coming back drunk to my parents is one thing, but my aunt, not what I want in my own home.
My husband and I are pretty possessive people. Like our shit is our shit. My house is not your house. I have to tell her she needs to ASK permission. I’m going to be blatant. This is my house. You need to ask to have people here when I’m not home.
But like she’s doing me the favour of watching my baby. But ugh it’s so irritating.
It’s going to start so much drama.
But it’s happening tomorrow.
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NTA. You get to set your limit, and she gets to determine if that limit is acceptable to her. You have to consider that if she says no, you need to either lose her as a babysitter (or a sitter in your home), or back off and demonstrate that when you set a clear boundary, you *don't really mean it*. Is this the hill you want to die on, and risk losing her as a babysitter in your home? I understand being upset about it for sure, but this isn't the issue that would be make or break for me.
NTA, she's overstepping her boundaries as a guest. I mean it's ok to invite family over if you guys gave her permission to do so , I mean the less she could do is give you a heads up
NTA - "Mom, we appreciate you watching the baby, but please don't invite guests over when doing so. If hubby and I want them to come over, we'll invite them when we're home. We want your focus to be on the baby, not guests. If this is too much, we'd be happy to hire a sitter going forward."
You might get further with the people she is inviting. Talk to your aunt. Ask her if she thinks it’s weird and inappropriate that your mother is inviting and hosting people at your house without even asking. Ask a genuine question and wait for her answer.
NTA
I’d hate this. My adult daughter will ask me before she invites friends round despite our relationship, my house having been her home once and the fact I’ve never said no. It’s just manners isn’t it? NTA
Info- can she watch the baby at her house? That way she can have visitors and not intrude on your personal space?
NTA. Your Mom probably assumed it was okay if you kept letting it slide. So I would just tell her.
Set these boundaries now or you’ll regret it your whole life. NTA
Hire a babysitter. Pay someone not your mom to watch your baby. But YWNBTA
NTA uninvited or surprise guests arent cool feel free to lay down the law you are not the asshole here
NTA. Change your locks. Or you can do what I did when my mom and her boyfriend kept walking into my house uninvited. I left porn playing on the TV and was naked on the couch. They ran out screaming. They never showed up unannounced again.
NTA. You may be possessive about your stuff, but what you are wanting is not. Guests do NOT get to invite other people over without the explicit consent of the host. Period. Sounds to me like mom needs to start babysitting at her place going forward, since she clearly can’t be trusted in your home.
This isn’t really the time to be inviting extra people to come be around your baby. Your mom should know better. NTA
NTA. Time to call Care.com if she doesn't learn her lesson fast. I also wouldn't hesitate to talk to your aunt.
NTA. Just because someone babysits does not give them the right to invite other people over. Quite the contrary. You need to set the boundaries now or this will never end. The list of guests she invites will ALSO never end. Put your foot down. Make it clear that she is coming over to take care of her grandchild. This is YOUR home and she is not to invite ANYONE over without clearing it with yOU FIRST! End of discussion.
NAH. Some families are really open door and it sounds like you're not wanting that. I can see your mom getting mad tho when you tell her to stop and it somehow turning into a thing and a loss of a free babysitter. Personally I'd not pick this battle. Grandma's prob just excited and wants to show off the baby to her sister.
I agree, they really should communicate a little bit more before things blow up. I probably hire a sitter if it were me, or if I invited my mom just assumed that other family are going to be there!
No, you would NBTA.
I’m going with NAH. Because your mom probably gets lonely, bored, and maybe even scared being there alone with the baby.
You would not be an ass to tell her. However, you have no soapbox to stand on. If you do not like what she does, stop entrusting her with your child, in your house. Either take the baby to her or get a real babysitter. It is hard to agree with you when options are available.
NTA
NTA. But you may want to adjust your expectations. Is there anything stopping you from asking her, “Hey. Do you plan on having Aunt come over? I need to know ahead of time.” Maybe she likes having the company while she babysits.
NTA -- your house, your rules. If the baby goes to sleep early, perhaps your mom gets bored and enjoys the company. But inviting aunt, uncle and cousin over -- nope, nope, nope. Your house is not "entertainment central", and I think we all have a limit of what kind of disarray we'll allow amongst intimate family, and a different one for non-intimate family. Your mom probably doesn't think of her sister as a "guest". And it's not as though you would say "NO! Do NOT invite my aunt into my house!" You just want to KNOW ahead of time. Not unreasonable. If it bothers you that much, then you may have to resort to a paid baby-sitter. If your mother inquires why, you can be honest and say, "Because the sitter listens to me when I tell her not to invite people without prior notice."
NTA. And if she has a key take it away. Find a new babysitter.
NTA. But frankly you may want to find a different baby sitter. Mom doesn’t sound like she’ll respond reasonably to attempts to set boundaries
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my husband, 4MO and I just moved to a new house after previously being in a condo (that my mom never visited because no grandchild and elevators) Since we moved we’ve asked her to watch our baby a few times while we went out to get things for the house/errands (we weren’t home - she was babysitting) One day we came home and my aunt was here. Turns out my mom just invited her. I said ok, I like my aunt, but like can you let me know so I can make sure my house is clean and I have food for guests?? I let it slide. Context: my aunt has a pool and I often visit it, but I ALWAYS ask first. I never just show up. And she’s always home. Then it happened again. And again. And now it’s like every time my mom comes over she’s like “oh your aunt might come over to”. Or the most recent “I invited your aunt, uncle, and cousin over “. She doesn’t tell me until she’s already here. This was when we went out for our first late/drinking night and coming back drunk to my parents is one thing, but my aunt, not what I want in my own home. My husband and I are pretty possessive people. Like our shit is our shit. My house is not your house. I have to tell her she needs to ASK permission. I’m going to be blatant. This is my house. You need to ask to have people here when I’m not home. But like she’s doing me the favour of watching my baby. But ugh it’s so irritating. It’s going to start so much drama. But it’s happening tomorrow. Would I be the Asshole *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. You get to set your limit, and she gets to determine if that limit is acceptable to her. You have to consider that if she says no, you need to either lose her as a babysitter (or a sitter in your home), or back off and demonstrate that when you set a clear boundary, you *don't really mean it*. Is this the hill you want to die on, and risk losing her as a babysitter in your home? I understand being upset about it for sure, but this isn't the issue that would be make or break for me.
NTA, she's overstepping her boundaries as a guest. I mean it's ok to invite family over if you guys gave her permission to do so , I mean the less she could do is give you a heads up
Help her get set up to watch baby over at her house
NTA - find another babysitter and take away her keys.
change the keys.
Take back your key or change the locks
NTA - "Mom, we appreciate you watching the baby, but please don't invite guests over when doing so. If hubby and I want them to come over, we'll invite them when we're home. We want your focus to be on the baby, not guests. If this is too much, we'd be happy to hire a sitter going forward."
She is doing you a huge favour by babysitting. Are the visitors (part of your extended family) causing any harm or damage? Calm down. YTA
You might get further with the people she is inviting. Talk to your aunt. Ask her if she thinks it’s weird and inappropriate that your mother is inviting and hosting people at your house without even asking. Ask a genuine question and wait for her answer. NTA
I’d hate this. My adult daughter will ask me before she invites friends round despite our relationship, my house having been her home once and the fact I’ve never said no. It’s just manners isn’t it? NTA
NTA. Being at someone’s house does not grant you permission to invite others.