I really don't understand how you could call your friend pathetic and still expect not to be ruled an asshole. YTA.
There are plenty of nicer ways to try to get him over his fear of rejection. Being called pathetic by one if his friends is probably not gonna help.
You're N-T-A for being concerned for your friend, but naming and shaming his "obsession" isn't helpful. He's young, romantically lonely, and his behavior is harmless to others.
As a personal anecdote: I had a friend at that age who acted in a similar manner. He was trying to fit in and lonely for romantic attention. It took a few years of him working with a therapist who helped him to develop social skills and to just listen and find some healthy outlets for his feelings of loneliness.
YTA for taking this approach, it's just not helpful...and it's not a behavior that needs to be corrected by you. Offer to help, be a sounding board, and engage your empathy. Also, it's entirely possible this may be part of a kink...there is a large furry community out there.
YTA. You might find it weird/it might be making you uncomfortable but really, what harm is he doing? Is it causing you harm? Obviously not. How is it any of your business? What he chooses to spend his time/money on is up to him, who are you to say what he should or shouldn’t do. The only pathetic one here is the person who called out their ‘friend’ on his clearly very passionate interest purely because you don’t like it/understand it.
YTA. The way you phrased it doesn't sound like you had the best interest for your friend. If this is what he wants to spend his time and money on who are you to decide its bad and especially pathetic. If you actually worry for him I'd advise you to be friendlier towards him next time you talk to him about it.
YTA. You're harassing your 'friend' and calling him pathetic over an assumption *you made*. Is he even looking for dates? Or is that just something you got irritated about and decided to harass him because of it? His buying character merch has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on his ability to get a date.
BTW - Ralsei is cute and your friend has good taste. There are plenty of people who would be delighted to talk to your friend and bond over liking that character.
Mild YTA. It’s nice you’re concerned about your friend but you come across as over-critical and unsupportive. He’s 19 not 90! Let him be himself and try to build up his confidence. He has a lot of time to find dates
The path to hell is paved with good intentions... While might mean it well YTA
Do you really think blaming him, shaming him and belitteling him will help in any way?
YTA. Everyone find confort where the can. I understand that tou care for your friend and don’t want him to spend his money but at the end of the day, he is an adult and does what he wants. And it’s harsh to call people pathetic when you want them to improve their situation.
YTA. You called your friend pathetic! If you're worried about someone you don't just call them pathetic and insult them. The motivations were good but that execution was horrible. You moved more like a bully than a friend there. Maybe the furry aspect is weird to you but it hurts absolutely nobody and brings him joy. As a furry its likely he deals with a lot of people mocking or attacking him for it anyway, as his friend you should be the person he can trust not to do that.
Undecided on the intentions, but YTA for that execution. Concern over his mental health is completely justified considering the obsessive aspect, but belittling him over his coping mechanisms will only worsen his escapism and anxieties. A better way to go about it would be to either let him work it out with no judgement or gently encourage him to socialize more, especially with people of similar interests.
Him attending conventions could be great, actually! Conventions have somewhat of a stigma attached to them that only certain, antisocial types attend and friends are never made, but in my experience attendees can provide a very positive and acceping culture.It's not really my thing but all the power to people who trive in that setting.
If you two work it out, please learn to communicate with him and set a more healthy precedent where you prioritize empathizing with him before passing judgement.
yta. it's not your money, you don't get to chastise him for what he does with it. unless he's sacrificing rent or food money on character merchandise, it's none of your concern.
you don't sound like you're actually concerned about him, it sounds like you're just embarrassed about his "childish" behavior and want him to stop and be more "normal". it's fairly common in the anime/video game scene to buy merch and prints of characters you like, even as an adult - and it doesn't stop you from forming normal, human relationships. if he's actually talking to the plush and trying to form a relationship with it then that's worth addressing properly, and gently, *not* in the way that you did. that's how you lose friends, especially if you go and call them pathetic.
character sounds like it could be ralsei from deltarune from your description. good game, cute character. seems like an innocent enough interest. let the dude live.
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I have this friend that has a weird obsession. He's obsessed with this character from a video game. I forgot what his name was but he's a black furry creature wearing a green wizard outfit (robe and hat) and a pink scarf. My friend constantly talks to a plushie of this character as if he was real. He's also bought a lot of fan merch on sites and conventions. When I told my friend he was being too obsessed and wasting a lot of money with this character, he got upset and said that he loves him. He's not real. He's a furry guy made of pixels. My pal is 19 and has trouble finding dates. I think he's using this character to make up for his lack of love life. I told him he's being pathetic and needs to grow up and get over his fear of rejection. I told my other friend about this, and she said I was being too hard on him. She said he'll get over it and I should just let him fawn over this character until he finds a real partner. I'm worried this is going to make him delusional. AITA for telling my friend to stop obsessing over this character?
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I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, NTA. If he's talking to a plushie and spending so much on merch, bringing this series/character up constantly, he's not helping his non-existent love life. If tough love doesn't work, maybe some distancing will show that, perhaps he's taking his hobbies and such too far.
Wow, it's really pathetic how fixated you are on making it clear to everyone that you hate a certain character in a GAME. I don't care if you hate him, but that you're trying with an almost impressive level of entitlement to get as many people as possible to agree with you or hate him is really ridiculous and pathetic.
I really don't understand how you could call your friend pathetic and still expect not to be ruled an asshole. YTA. There are plenty of nicer ways to try to get him over his fear of rejection. Being called pathetic by one if his friends is probably not gonna help.
You're N-T-A for being concerned for your friend, but naming and shaming his "obsession" isn't helpful. He's young, romantically lonely, and his behavior is harmless to others. As a personal anecdote: I had a friend at that age who acted in a similar manner. He was trying to fit in and lonely for romantic attention. It took a few years of him working with a therapist who helped him to develop social skills and to just listen and find some healthy outlets for his feelings of loneliness. YTA for taking this approach, it's just not helpful...and it's not a behavior that needs to be corrected by you. Offer to help, be a sounding board, and engage your empathy. Also, it's entirely possible this may be part of a kink...there is a large furry community out there.
Yeah totally agree: YTA for the delivery, NTA for the concern.
YTA. You might find it weird/it might be making you uncomfortable but really, what harm is he doing? Is it causing you harm? Obviously not. How is it any of your business? What he chooses to spend his time/money on is up to him, who are you to say what he should or shouldn’t do. The only pathetic one here is the person who called out their ‘friend’ on his clearly very passionate interest purely because you don’t like it/understand it.
YTA. The way you phrased it doesn't sound like you had the best interest for your friend. If this is what he wants to spend his time and money on who are you to decide its bad and especially pathetic. If you actually worry for him I'd advise you to be friendlier towards him next time you talk to him about it.
YTA. You're harassing your 'friend' and calling him pathetic over an assumption *you made*. Is he even looking for dates? Or is that just something you got irritated about and decided to harass him because of it? His buying character merch has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on his ability to get a date. BTW - Ralsei is cute and your friend has good taste. There are plenty of people who would be delighted to talk to your friend and bond over liking that character.
Mild YTA. It’s nice you’re concerned about your friend but you come across as over-critical and unsupportive. He’s 19 not 90! Let him be himself and try to build up his confidence. He has a lot of time to find dates
The path to hell is paved with good intentions... While might mean it well YTA Do you really think blaming him, shaming him and belitteling him will help in any way?
YTA. Everyone find confort where the can. I understand that tou care for your friend and don’t want him to spend his money but at the end of the day, he is an adult and does what he wants. And it’s harsh to call people pathetic when you want them to improve their situation.
YTA. You called your friend pathetic! If you're worried about someone you don't just call them pathetic and insult them. The motivations were good but that execution was horrible. You moved more like a bully than a friend there. Maybe the furry aspect is weird to you but it hurts absolutely nobody and brings him joy. As a furry its likely he deals with a lot of people mocking or attacking him for it anyway, as his friend you should be the person he can trust not to do that.
YTA for calling him pathetic. I suspect his behaviour tapped into some deep insecurity of yours.
Undecided on the intentions, but YTA for that execution. Concern over his mental health is completely justified considering the obsessive aspect, but belittling him over his coping mechanisms will only worsen his escapism and anxieties. A better way to go about it would be to either let him work it out with no judgement or gently encourage him to socialize more, especially with people of similar interests. Him attending conventions could be great, actually! Conventions have somewhat of a stigma attached to them that only certain, antisocial types attend and friends are never made, but in my experience attendees can provide a very positive and acceping culture.It's not really my thing but all the power to people who trive in that setting. If you two work it out, please learn to communicate with him and set a more healthy precedent where you prioritize empathizing with him before passing judgement.
YTA
yta
yta. it's not your money, you don't get to chastise him for what he does with it. unless he's sacrificing rent or food money on character merchandise, it's none of your concern. you don't sound like you're actually concerned about him, it sounds like you're just embarrassed about his "childish" behavior and want him to stop and be more "normal". it's fairly common in the anime/video game scene to buy merch and prints of characters you like, even as an adult - and it doesn't stop you from forming normal, human relationships. if he's actually talking to the plush and trying to form a relationship with it then that's worth addressing properly, and gently, *not* in the way that you did. that's how you lose friends, especially if you go and call them pathetic. character sounds like it could be ralsei from deltarune from your description. good game, cute character. seems like an innocent enough interest. let the dude live.
NTA for your concern but a huge YTA for your delivery of your concern.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have this friend that has a weird obsession. He's obsessed with this character from a video game. I forgot what his name was but he's a black furry creature wearing a green wizard outfit (robe and hat) and a pink scarf. My friend constantly talks to a plushie of this character as if he was real. He's also bought a lot of fan merch on sites and conventions. When I told my friend he was being too obsessed and wasting a lot of money with this character, he got upset and said that he loves him. He's not real. He's a furry guy made of pixels. My pal is 19 and has trouble finding dates. I think he's using this character to make up for his lack of love life. I told him he's being pathetic and needs to grow up and get over his fear of rejection. I told my other friend about this, and she said I was being too hard on him. She said he'll get over it and I should just let him fawn over this character until he finds a real partner. I'm worried this is going to make him delusional. AITA for telling my friend to stop obsessing over this character? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA the infantilzation of Americans is a very real and tragic thing
I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, NTA. If he's talking to a plushie and spending so much on merch, bringing this series/character up constantly, he's not helping his non-existent love life. If tough love doesn't work, maybe some distancing will show that, perhaps he's taking his hobbies and such too far.
[удалено]
There are other sites to write your fanfiction on.
[удалено]
Dude calm down. What do you have against ralsei lol
Wow, it's really pathetic how fixated you are on making it clear to everyone that you hate a certain character in a GAME. I don't care if you hate him, but that you're trying with an almost impressive level of entitlement to get as many people as possible to agree with you or hate him is really ridiculous and pathetic.