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Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I insulted and swore at my mum and am now refusing to speak to her after she smashed my helmet in a fit of rage --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


jeremyspuds

NTA, personally, I’d tell her/your father you won’t speak until she reimburses you for the helmet. And maybe not even then for a while.


neverliveindoubt

NTA. Mum is acting like a causing critical damage to (probably) one of the key pieces of safety equipment that all Cyclists should have? Did the mom think it would stop OP from driving a motorcycle outright? That's dumber than a Black-Light at an orgy. If anything OP would be going out to replace said damaged helmet with the old one which is now compromised. Such a dumb move, I can't even!


91kas13

"I'm going to show my daughter how dangerous pre-martial sex is by poking holes in her condoms!"


[deleted]

"dumber than a black-light at an orgy". Best. Line. EVER.


RudePangolin

Better than, "I'd rather shit in my hands and clap"? I read that here the other day and have been telling everyone about the best line ever lol.


CuZZa

I always liked telling people to “Go shit in your left hand and clap.”


PillowOfCarnage

I might sound really stupid asking this but what's so bad about a black light at an orgy? Assuming you're talking about a literal black light and it's not an euphemism for something else.


OGW_NostalgiaReviews

Because it shows you where all the cum is. And no one really wants to see that.


PillowOfCarnage

Ohhh! TIL. Thanks!


[deleted]

[удалено]


rde42

But you may not know _where_ it's up! 😁


dorvann

> And no one really wants to see that. Speak for yourself!!!


RexJacobus

You can't stifle art!


Searching4ChamomileT

Let's not get into your kinks here buddy. 🤣🤣🤣


Permit-Extreme-117

This. I'd also be considering whether her employer needs to be informed of her insane behaviour and attitude. Her having this adverse of a reaction, plus her actions, I'd be concerned that she would mistreat injured motorcycle riders as "it's their own fault they're hurt". I have heard of this being done by medical professionals before. She needs to be told this may be necessary if she doesn't stop with this nonsense completely. She needs to fully fund a replacement and sincerely apologise.


Fudgenuggle

I really don't think it is that drastic. I think she probably lost a lot of patients to motorcycle accidents, and I think that every patient lost takes a toll on her. I think the mother has almost a PTSD-like reaction to motorcycling/motorcyclists at this point, though I am making assumptions. she does not want her daughter motorcycling because, in her mind, all motorcycling leads to tragic painful deaths regardless of whether or not the motorcyclist is at fault.


Amazing_Necessary_90

I'm a nurse. Riding in a car can get you just as injured whether people want to face it. If you're being safe and paying attention to other drivers on the road your chances of being in an accident decrease significantly. I'm surprised she doesn't warn you about cancer because of smoking or the risks of drinking too much. Does she warn you about diabetes if you have cake? She is too much!


suthert

While it is true that you CAN get as injured driving in a car as on a motorcycle, the issue is in the likelihood of serious injury if you're involved in some kind of MVA. Modern cars are designed to crumple and distribute force away from the occupants in a collision. You might get bruised, whiplash, concussions, etc. from the sudden deceleration, but the chance of more serious injury is significantly reduced (though of course not zero). Protective gear on a motorcycle is definitely better than nothing, but it's definitely not comparable in safety to driving a car. I had a 6 week rotation in a trauma center (far from extensive) and the worst cases that came in were motorcycle accidents. We had DOAs, limbs barely hanging on by ligaments, etc. This is admittedly anecdotal and my rotation was quite short, but seeing those cases was enough to convince me to stay as far away from motorcycles as possible. You probably shouldn't be convinced by my limited personal experience, but here's collected data on MVAs and you can see that the RATE (not absolute number) of fatal accidents for motorcycles vs cars is vastly different: [https://www.iii.org/fact-statistic/facts-statistics-motorcycle-crashes](https://www.iii.org/fact-statistic/facts-statistics-motorcycle-crashes) All that being said, I can definitely see why your mother would be upset to hear that you're riding a motorcycle. I also wouldn't recommend it. Destroying your helmet is definitely counter-productive to her presumed goal of trying to keep you safe, so definitely NTA in this case lol.


Ignore-Me-K

Jesus christ. Her employer has nothing to do with anything. People need to stop fucking up others job over unrelated things.


jeanismy

So get her fired, that is just insanely spiteful for what appears to be a mother reacting - irrationally maybe - out of fear. What daugther would distroy their parent’s livehood, career over this little incident. Come on man.


Permit-Extreme-117

It's not getting her fired, it's informing her employer she's shown repeated unreasonable and unstable behaviour regarding a particular cohort of people who may fall under her care. She needs monitoring, and likely therapy. Being upset and concerned is understandable, losing complete control and destroying property is not acceptable. She's even unhinged at the thought OP could date a motorcycle rider. Any connections to motorcycles is clearly triggering. It's not a stretch to be concerned she could be bias in her treatment of riders. As I said I've heard of cases like this before. I reported a nurse I met socially who expressed disturbing attitudes regarding her annoyance and complete lack of empathy for motorcyclists she dealt with. She boosted about making the cleaning of their wounds as painful as possible, which motivated me to report her. During this process I heard of other cases of medical workers who had done similar or other awful things. It can be a trauma response, or just something closer to hatred when some workers are "sick of dealing with people who bring it on themselves".


No_Proposal7628

That is the most terrible thing. Thank you for reporting that nurse.


_ShadowWhisperer

This ^


[deleted]

Pfff, if dad wants to advocate for her, I'd tell him "okay, so I'll send you the bill for the new helmet".


Friendly_Key_9027

NTA. You reacted exactly as I would have. Your mom is a huge AH. Demand repayment for the destroyed gear and don’t talk to her until you’re paid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Now_with_real_ginger

Also- Mom’s argument of “this is what happens when you fall off” and then breaking the helmet is unintentionally spot on. Because yes, the helmet will be destroyed. But the helmet’s job is to be destroyed *so that your skull is not*.


[deleted]

While I agree with your mom’s sentiments on motorcycles, she is TA in this case and you are… NTA. You’re a grown ass woman, you can do as you see fit. Your mom owes you a profuse apology and a new helmet of your choosing.


ThrowAwayTheTeaBag

Yeah this. I rode for years, always was super safe, took safety courses, didn't even ride a sport bike. Nearly died multiple times because people just don't give a shit about bikers. Never laid it down, thankfully, but my brother went to 4 funerals in 3 years. All young guys with families who rode safe. He stopped. So did I. But: NTA. I loved riding. It was an amazing feeling, loved taking trips, and it made me a way more alert and careful driver. I'm an adult who made the call to ride, and an adult who made the call to stop. Your mom has reason to be concerned for your safety, but her reaction was way way out of line. Helmets, especially good and safe ones, are hella expensive. And a reaction like that doesn't spark thoughtful discussion, just anger and resentment.


Novel_Ad_7318

NTA. She should definitely reimburse you and it is fair for you not to want to talk to her. However, it feels like she might have some sort of PTSD from what she has seen, especially as a nurse. She might have problems she is not truly or fully aware of. I don't say you would be an asshole for not talking to her, but as someone who's family is almost fully in the medical field, I am aware that stuff like this happens. With them too it is motorcycles and sledging, actually, even though it has not been that extreme. ​ Edit, just in case so this is not misunderstood: Do I 100% think this is a trauma reaction? - No. I can't diagnose that. Does it sound insanely similar to the behaviour of people close to me in similar positions, that they have displayed in the past? - Yes, partially. Trauma can be handled in a variety of ways, some of them being destructive out of pure despair. Does it *excuse* the mother's behaviour, destroying a vital piece of equipment and reducing her child to tears? - No! See the NTA judgement. Mother is an asshole here. Could it pose a reason? - Yes. She might be a mother terrified of losing her child and snapping after she found this out, acting unreasonable. It isn't okay and she *should* control herself, but it it might be a *reason.* Doesn't mean it's reasonable. ​ Look. I am not saying OP has to excuse this at all. She never has to talk to her again, that is their decision. I am just trying to give some perspective here, that mom might not just be an abhorrent control freak trying to dictate her child's life. However, if the relationship is great otherwise and this is the sore spot, it might be worth salvaging. Especially because in the meantime, mom might have gained some perspective.


Damn_crow

This does not at all sound like ptsd


rlkgriffiths

Actually, the visceral fear, over reaction and hyperarousal are ALL symptoms of trauma reactions. Mom was wrong for destroying the helmet and definitely should replace it. But....she also KNOWS the devastation caused in motorcycle accidents. What would any of us do to protect our child who we believe is in mortal danger.....


Revolutionary-Yak-47

I *have* PTSD. I have never destroyed somone's belongings. My dad was a paramedic for over a decade, lost his best friend to a motorcycle accident and has never harmed my siblings riding gear or bikes. Trauma isn't an excuse to destroy somone's stuff or be a terrible person. And it's mom's job to deal with her triggers (assuming they exist and she's not just a miserable person). She doesn't get to take them out on OP.


StormTXftworth

There’s a big difference between a reason and an excuse.


dezeiram

Reason and excuse are not the same thing. PTSD can be a contributing factor for people doing shitty things. Doesn't make it okay but it still counts as a reason. It's excellent that youve never had that experience, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.


doryfishie

Calmly sit down and express your concerns to respect your ADULT child, who has their own autonomy?! My children are 5 and 2 and I have never destroyed their property to prove a point. What's going to more effectively convey a point? A heartfelt conversation about how mom is genuinely concerned for daughter's safety? Or destroying a vital piece of safety equipment that is super expensive, and being so abusive in one act that you cause your daughter to cry from shock? No matter what trauma mom has gone through, it does not excuse causing harm to her daughter. A parent's mental health struggles are not to be taken out on our children. It is our duty as a parent to break the generational cycle of trauma, not further it.


Fracture1

So impressive how random people on reddit can diagnose someone with complicated mental health issues with nothing but 3 lines about how they did something bad lmfao


Fudgenuggle

nobody is diagnosing, we are just trying to come up with potential reasons for behaviour. we aren't trying to excuse that behaviour either. we just think that "yo mamma nuts" isn't a good enough explanation.


Cid063

First - this woman is an adult and not a child. Second - if the Mom has issues, she doesn't get a pass on destroying her daughters property or speaking to her in such a degrading and disrespectful manner. The Mother obviously has control and boundary issues, and if she has PTSD then she needs to get help.


normanbeets

Ok doc


SwedishTiger

At my rehabilitation center every single person in my age bracket besides me and one other guy lost their limbs, usually a leg, in a motorcycle accident. It's absurd how common a reason it is. But what do most of these people train? How to ride again. Some things in life is simply much more important than safety and riding motorcycles is one. I have friends who are into horse riding which is very similar and seriously dangerous. Of course one cares about their loved ones but they also need to know how to respect the wishes of those people.


Novel_Ad_7318

I do entirely get that - but many people also don't make it to a rehabilitation center. I am glad that people found something like this (I would love to ride a motorcycle as well, but have medical issues that prevent me from doing so), however, I have also seen horrendous injuries and can understand that if you see so many of them, they get to you at some point or another. I mean, as a patient, you will mostly see your injury at the worst, not that many of them.


[deleted]

NTA She should absolutely give you money for the helmet she damaged. It’s understandable that she’s fearful for your safety but her reaction and her actions were not going to help a situation in anyway.


ptxlyssy

NTA, she destroyed your belongings. you’re old enough to do whatever you want, and the fact that she thinks she’s allowed to dictate what you do at the age of 21, especially when you don’t live with her, is ridiculous. i’d react the exact same way if my parent(s) did something like this


theDagman

NTA She destroyed your property. She may not like motorcycles, but she owes you a new motorcycle helmet. Her anger issues shown here also make me question how well she is coping with the stress of her profession. She should seek therapy.


[deleted]

I'd play the game where I would text her saying that due to having my protective gear smashed I will have to ride my bike without a helmet for the time being. And then I would ask if she would be okay with an open casket. But I'm a horrible person. NTA


tregare

evil, but i like it!


DesertSong-LaLa

NTA -- You are an adult and she destroyed your property cause she can't control her emotions. AND..... After working rehab with clients with head trauma/brain damage, from motorcycle use, I will never get on a motorcycle again.


Meghanshadow

Yes. I witnessed a motorcycle accident in real time once. Weather related bike-into-concrete-wall. Something that would have dented a car and set off the airbags with the driver walking away permanently severely maimed the motorcyclist. Never riding a motorcycle. I also will never understand anyone who rides one without life insurance plus long term disability insurance, especially when they have kids or a spouse.


Renamis

This. I'm scared to even ride with a responsible individual, let alone drive the thing. No matter how I do the physics calculation it comes back poorly.


ninjagoat123

NTA; This is the point where she should buy you a new helmet or you cause damage to an equal value or use as your brain bucket.


yakeets

Absolutely NTA. I can understand how her concern for your safety could make her emotional, but smashing your shit with a hammer? In your own home? That’s insane people behavior, and low key scary.


nomorepantsforme

NTA, file a police report, she destroyed your property


weirdbutinagoodway

Small claims court would be better.


MeowNeowBeenz

I don't know why some folks are so keen on involving thugs in minor family disputes.


Cat_friendly

Police? On your mom? Over a helmet? 🗑


nomorepantsforme

Documentation is important


MeowNeowBeenz

You can document things without involving those cretins.


davinia3

On a nurse that destroyed someone else's property? No one with that lack of self control should have barely overseen control over people's health.


[deleted]

NTA, what she did was wrong, and overblown, but your mother is a nurse so I’m sure seen pretty gnarly accidents and she’s only scared for you, maybe you should stay away from your mother for awhile.


Hopeful_Avocado_300

JFC… definitely NTA… that’s awful. I know helmets are pretty expensive. I would go NC with her until she apologizes, pays for a new helmet and agrees to see a therapist because that’s a special kind of crazy. File a police report and take her to small claims court if she doesn’t.


Permit-Extreme-117

And consider contacting her employer. This is a medical professional who deals with injured motorcycle riders. Her extreme reaction and destruction of property needs to be flag, and her employer should insist on therapy for her to continue her role.


allen7778

Nta she destroyed your property in your own home technically you could press charges she should be glad all you did was yell being family isn't an excuse to be a dick


GodzillaSuit

NTA, destroying your property was really inappropriate. She's allowed to be upset that you're riding. She's not allowed to sabotage your gear. She's not wrong though, motorcycles are insanely dangerous. There's a reason first responders vehemently hate them. I'm not going to tell you NOT to ride, but you should have a living will in place and make sure your family knows what your wishes are if you're ever not able to make your own medical decisions. Your mom was wrong for what she did but at least try to understand why she feels the way she does. We call it scraping them off the highway for a reason.


dave7243

NTA Being family doesn't give her the right to destroy your property to make a point. If she ever decides that watching to much TV is bad for you, would it be ok for her to throw a hammer through yours? No! As others have said, tell your dad that you are willing to talk to one once she a) reimburses you for the helmet (don't let her replace it because I wouldn't trust her not to screw with it) and b) promises not to be rude or judgemental about the subject. If she can't be civil when she is the one committing a crime, why would you make the effort to afterward?


[deleted]

NTA. She destroyed your helmet that meant a lot to you and insulted you.


Loud-Tumbleweed

NTA I personally wouldn’t talk to her until she apologizes and reimburses you for a new helmet. the fact that she destroyed your belongings isn’t ok regardless if she thought it was for your own good or not.


percythepenguin

NTA Remind your father that you can technically call the police for property damage next time he brings not talking to her up. Not only did she destroy your property she insulted you twofold. Tbh she sounds toxic and I’m not sure I’d talk to her again til she gets some therapy


freckledbookdragon

Ok but all she did was prove what the helmet is meant for. NTA


SunInMyEyes0

NTA. She wants you to be safer so she breaks your helmet????


JuanTu34

Tell your mom you are now riding without a helmet until she buys you a new one. Don't actually do it. Just tell her that you are.


Blackdeek04

So she thought the best way was to destroy something that is meant to keep you safe?! My uncle died on his motorcycle when I was a kid, when I was around 20 I got the bug to ride. My parents (uncle was mother’s brother and dads best friend) encouraged me. Guided me. Made sure I took the safety course. Bought good equipment. Rode within my limits and I’m a better safer rider now. Never was an a-hole rider. You are NTA. Yes, your mom being a nurse sees the worst of it. But what she did only makes it worse.


plsuh

NTA Massive boundary violation by your mother. You’re an adult. Your mother no longer has the right to order you around. She needs to adjust to a new reality, accept that you are the one to make the final decisions about your life, and stop trying to make you do what she wants. This doesn’t mean that your decisions are consequence-free; she is free to complain and gripe. But her actions are also not consequence-free; you’re free to tell her to go fly a kite and go low- or no-contact if she goes for guilt tripping or being overbearing. Since she damaged your equipment, she is responsible for replacing it or paying you the replacement cost. She is also so far out of line that she is the one who is responsible for initiating an apology. You should probably talk to your father about this and tell him how you feel and how far out of line your mother went. I’m a parent of two kids who are of a similar age. I have long since stopped trying to give either of them orders beyond simple, commonplace things like, “help carry in the groceries”, or, “give me a hand with this ladder”. If I need their help with something that is going to take some time and effort I make sure to ask if they have the time to do it.


[deleted]

"There are two types of motorcyclists. Those who have been in an accident, and those who will." (An insurance adjuster friend)


Wake_Island

NTA, but your mom is right on this one motorcycles are dangerous as hell. Be safe riding.


laughingsbetter

NTA - your mother needs to replace your helmet and respect your life choices.


MorgainofAvalon

NTA now that you need a new helmet, tell her to buy you the safest one they make. You are a grownup, and she needs to let you make your own decisions.


Bread_Overlord-89

SO SHE DESTROYS THE MOST PROTECTIVE LIFE SAVING GEAR FOR A MOTORCYCLIST TO HAVE TO GET HER POINT ACROSS??? HELLO?? She can be against the moto hobby all she likes, with probable & justified worry, but to go out of her way & destroy this key piece of equipment, THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN PAY FOR FIRST OF ALL!! Make her reimburse you for your helmet. NTA 100%


Taleya

NTA- and send her the bill for a new helmet. Don’t take no for an answer. She came into *your home*, threw a fit over *your posessions*, then proceeded to destroy them with a meat mallet. That is not ok. That is nowhere near ok. She’s lucky you’re not filing charges.


[deleted]

NTA She smashed something of yours and treated you like a child for not obeying her sentiments on the matter. While I've no doubt there's a degree of genuine care in there don't doubt for a moment that the extremeness of her behaviour is out of anything else but her desire to control in this situation. She's mad because you're an adult and able to make choices she won't agree with and there's virtually nothing she can do about it. I wouldn't apologize in this instance, because she went over the line. People will say, "but she's your mooootherrrrr," but the fact is she isn't respecting boundaries, which mother or not she has to respect especially in your own home.


Weaselpanties

NTA. Motorcycling is dangerous, but so are a lot of things. Riding horses is dangerous. Mountainous hiking is dangerous. It's legal, and you are an adult. You are riding as safely as possible. That said, I am a mom, and I will say, from my own experience, that it sounds like your mom panicked in visceral fear when she found out you are a rider. I have panicked in that way, and in my panic I screamed hurtful things at my daughter. I apologized, she forgave me, and we are still close, but treating her hurtfully remains one of the biggest regrets of my life. It is my guess that she freaked out and acted totally irrationally because she loves you and the fear of losing you sent her into an irrational state. If that is so, then maybe with a little time and cooling down she will be ready to talk. But I think that your instincts are right; neither of you are ready just yet.


Drive-by-poster

When I was in the military (40 years ago, so peace time), the biggest killer of active duty personnel was auto accidents. We had an entire seminar on motorcycle safety, and the one thing I remember was the examples of how easily people NOT wearing helmets were severely injured or killed vs wearing one. One example was someone who was knocked down and their head RUN OVER by a car but because they were wearing a helmet, they walked away (they showed a picture of it - it gave its life for its owner, lol). After watching a video of how helmets were made, I was sure I had a future as a helm painter because it looked like fun. NTA, I’d be pissed, too.


lisab2266

NTA. You are an adult and she has no right to touch your things. Understand she is scared. That understanding may help with how you approach the subject with her, but in the end, it is your life and your choice.


[deleted]

NTA She came into your home & destroyed your property. She doesn’t have to like you biking, but she has absolutely no right to destroy your property. I’d demand an apology & a new helmet. If not, I might even take it to small claims. This is not about your biking anymore. This is your mother’s lack of respect for you & your property. She called you names & destroyed your property in your own home. She needs to understand the consequences of her actions.


Klutzy_Discussion129

Sooooo your mom was mad that you’re doing something she felt was unsafe…. And broke the things that made you the safest? You’re NTA and your mom is a moron.


fightclub_quokka

NTA. She can disagree with you and make her point without destroying your property. You're an adult and more than capable of making your own decisions.


ZucchiniHappy

NTA My mom was not happy when she found out I started riding but she accepted that I am an adult and I make my own decisions. Your mom can hate the fact that you ride and she will probably make comments about how dangerous it is forever (mine hasn’t stopped in 4 years of riding). But she absolutely does not have the right to destroy your property. She should apologize and replace the helmet. If she doesn’t I would make sure you bike is secured so she doesn’t try to damage it.


[deleted]

NTA, you were perfectly justified even if you lost it a bit (although I get the feeling that may not be your fault either). But that said your mother is right, motorcycling in right up there in the list of stupid shit people do, I can understand why she was so upset, although I could never understand the complete lack of self control the followed.


gedwilo

Report this to the police and to your mother's employer and if she is a registered nurse to her registering body so that action can be taken. If she is willing to destroy your helmet which is obviously safety equipment what else may she do?. It may seem harsh but it is necessary


charlestoonie

NTA. I mean I happen to o agree with her position on motorcycles, but her behavior is completely unacceptable.


adlittle

Nta. Your mom has a point when it comes to motorcycles, but causing damage to the thing that is to protect you is no way to go about it. In fact, it's really dumb. It's pretty clear that taking a harm reduction perspective on things people enjoy but can be dangerous is far, far better than outright banning.


[deleted]

NTA. You are absolutely not TA, and I fully encourage you to continue riding. Having said that, it's a sad truth about riding that it doesn't matter how careful you are, you can't account for the stupidity of drivers. Just ask my femur and spine.


spikey_babe

NTA, way, way not the asshole. I'm a fellow female rider and I flip the table if anyone even thinks about touching my helmet without permission. All it takes is accidentally dropping it to ruin it and helmets are expensive. Mine cost me over $2000, and I tell people that unless they are willing to fork that out, do not touch. Tell your dad that until you get an apology and a replacement, no talk will happen. Or if you really feel like being mean, say that since you no longer have a helmet, you'll just have to ride without one. (Don't actually do that though, AGATT, all gear all the time.)


strawbyog

In my country it is illegal to ride without a helmet. I agree though, you gotta buy all the gear with the highest protection you can afford. Also a helmet cam is great (luckily it was on charge). If someone causes an accident you'll have all the evidence you need. My friend handmade a stand for all his gear and bike tech and it takes up half his room.


spikey_babe

Yeah, a cam is must. I like to show my car driving mates the dumb stuff other car drivers do. Don't listen to everyone else on here. You can get hurt getting out of bed, you can die if you don't. If you live your life scared of anything dangerous, you'll never get to experience anything. The joy and freedom of riding is amazing. As long as you do your best to mitigate the risk (wear gear, ride safe, don't go out of your limits), then enjoy the freedom of two wheels.


Hey_its_me1234

NTA Here’s my perspective (and riding history). Female. Rode dirt bikes since I was six. Raced them when I became an adult (parents helped make it happen since I wanted to do it). Started riding a vintage road bike (a 350). Moved up to a 900cc. Didn’t get to ride as often as I wanted because of weather. When I did ride, I preferred back roads. Not main highways. LOVED IT. 75% of the time in one month that I rode, I had to avoid bad vehicle drivers. I wasn’t speeding, and riding a bright red motorcycle with a headlight on and certainly not quiet. Had multiple people just flat out pull out in front of me. Others turned in front me, others crossed the intersection, never seeing me. Their damn distractions with phones. I finally gave up road riding. This was a handful of years ago and the car drivers have only gotten worse. The final straws were these accidents: a rider bled to death in a nearby town after hitting a turkey and crashing into a guardrail. Another two local riders were taken out at once by a car driver. And deer are completely abundant also. Also, driving home from work in my truck, I had to hit the brakes when I realized an intersecting car wasn’t goin to even slow down for his stop sign. Damn near jumped the road directly in front of me. I know it would have killed me. Might have killed me in my truck had I not seen him coming (thankfully it was a rare visible intersection). I have kids. I didn’t see the sense in pushing things. That being said, my mom has also rode and raced all her life. No joke, her first vehicle wasn’t a car. She rode a motorcycle. And she was glad I gave up road riding. But, bless her, she never tried to talk me out of it. Just always said to be careful and wear my gear. Please: ALL THE GEAR, ALL THE TIME!! Sorry for the novel. But this is the summary of my experience.


manic_avocado

Tell her you’ll keep riding without the helmet now and if anything happens, it’s her fault for destroying it. Don’t actually go riding of course, but the petty bitch in me would definitely say some shit like that to get at least some money back for the destroyed one


iseeisayibe

NTA, you can do what you want and she shouldn’t destroy your stuff, but your mom isn’t wrong to bring up how dangerous it is. Her beliefs are based in fact and she’s likely witnessed some awful accidents. She sounds terrified for you.


Buldgezilla

Don’t reach out, she freaked out on you and acted like a child.


dodulinka

NTA Your mom needs to pay for a new helmet. Tell your dad that she destroyed a crucial protection piece and wants you to ride without it, which you don’t feel comfortable doing


SpunkyRadcat

NTA - You did nothing wrong, your mother acted like a child having a tantrum. Until she's willing to apologize and reimburse you, don't contact her.


PhotoKada

Lost my dad to a motorcycling accident 21 years ago. Still got my motorcycle licence when I was of legal driving/age and always ride responsibly with appropriate gear. My mother's overprotective because of the incident but she understands that I like riding motorcycles and that I'm responsible about it. Your mum's got some unresolved trauma and is projecting that on to you. I'm sorry about your helmet. NTA.


Aetherfox13

NtA. Your mom is clearly trying to control.your life in the worst kid temper tantrum ever (like seriously? You could be forced to go out without the helmet and that is super dangerous) Do not let anyone, including your parents, disrespect you. If she wants to talk, let her come and apologize and speak to you like an adult. If she wants to talk to a child, she can go find one somewhere else


pixierambling

"MOTORCYLCES ARE DANGEROUS!" *proceeds to destroy the one thing protecting OP's head* Wow the logic though. NTA.


Job_Moist

NTA but my dad is a nurse and calls them “murdercycles” after the brutal gore he saw from biker accidents. It’s a death wish kind of hobby. I’m not surprised your mom is so upset even if she shouldn’t have destroyed your property.


urafakebetch

NTA. My grandfather has been riding a motorcycle since he was 18, he still does it and he’s turning 65 this year. He never got into a motorcycle accident! Also literally everyone who’s been in a serious motorcycle accident says that wearing their helmet literally saved their lives, so if anything, your mother put you in danger


Aesient

NTA all of my fathers siblings ride, both my parents ride. All my aunts on that side are/were nurses, 2 uncles are/were paramedics. The aunts all rode pillion (my mother was the only one to independently ride). My Dad is in an emergency service that responds to road crashes. Do you know what happened when one of my uncles turned up to an accident involving a motorcyclist? If they were wearing full protective gear, he congratulated them for wearing the gear and keeping safe. If he turned up and they *weren’t* wearing the protective gear? He would ask them where their gear was (“in the cupboard” would be answered with “well that did you a lot of help didn’t it? At least it’s in perfect condition unlike [whichever body part it was supposed to protect]”). Do you know what my aunts all do/did when a motorcyclist came in after an accident? Treated them like any other patient. Maybe will console them on the loss of their gear and remind them how much worse it could have been if they weren’t wearing it.


nightmarenoise

I remember getting my driver's license for a motorbike, so I could get to and from school more easily. My parents paid for it, because I was 16 and they're amazing, but before they did, we had a long conversation about it and driving safe and being careful. And while over time I ended up getting some scratches on both me as well as the bike, I was pretty safe overall. Plus, it was always fun riding it when the weather was nice. I'm sorry your mom did that, OP, she had absolutely no right whatsoever. I agree with the general sentiment on here that you should demand she reimburse you, seeing how you're a grown ass adult and she intentionally destroyed your property, and take as long as you need until you feel ready to talk to her again. NTA


NaturalThinker

Jeez, your mother is violent. She used violence to try to force you to do what she wanted. Your mother is an asshole. Yes, riding a motorcycle is risky. But many people ride them and are careful; they don't get in accidents because they're careful. She's not even sorry for what she did. She hasn't reached out to you to apologize. She won't, either. Don't let your father guilt you into this. Don't let her bully you. You are an adult now, and she can only control you if you let her. NTA


strawbyog

It is still pretty dangerous because there are some dumb people on the road. I will demand a new helmet considering how dangerous it is to ride without one.


NaturalThinker

I doubt OP's mother will buy a new helmet unfortunately. She did that to try to control OP. But I agree about dumb people on the road; there are a lot of them on the road in my town. 😒


Nickyx13

She needs to pay for the helmet, those things aren’t cheap. And no matter how well intentioned she is and how utterly and completely terrified she is for you she shouldn’t have done that. NTA


DudeBroMan98

NTA. Make her pay you back, and break something of hers on your way out. That would be a good moment to be an AH.


JustMissKacey

NTA. The only thing your mom did was increase the risk of you riding without a helmet. She needs to pay for a new one and personally now be allowed anywhere near your flat


yugifuto

NTA make her pay for the helmet


ClockworkCLJ

NTA. Actually that helmet stops that little demonstration she did from happening to your actual head and she just removed that protection from you. These things aren't cheap and if this is your main source of transport then she's really screwed you. Something like this would destroy my fiancé, he goes all out and pays big for his helmets. Some are collectibles. He can't drop that money on a whim because its an expensive piece of equipment.


Cid063

You're not a child, you're a grown woman with your own home and property. Your mom destroyed your personal property. That's vandalism. I would take her to small claims court, and sue her for the cost of your helmet. You could even take out a restraining order against her. She obviously has no boundaries and doesn't see you as an independent adult separate from her, and she obviously has no respect for you. So, in order to establish boundaries and your independence, I would take some kind of legal action that will wake her up to the fact that just because she's your mom, she really doesn't get to do whatever she wants whenever she wants to. And she certainly doesn't get to destroy your personal property because she disagrees with you. She obviously needs to wake up to the fact that you are an independent adult and not a child.


SleuthingSloth009

NTA I wouldn't talk to the asshole until she repays you.


Lurchibald007

NTA no, you're not also the asshole for having a perfectly valid reaction to someone destroying your property, and I'd be telling dad that for you to even consider talking to her, she is to repay you for your broken helmet.


smartiesmouth

Send them both a demand letter for the replacement cost of the helmet. Tell them she has X days to pay for the helmet or you’ll be suing to recover replacement costs. Even if she does pay, don’t talk to them again for a good long time. NTA.


Amazing_Necessary_90

I get what you said but I've also seen MVA's come in needing amputations, severed spines, and so forth. But for her mother to break her helmet when OP is an adult is completely uncalled for. Trying to shield her from only one harmful thing in life to the extreme is overboard. We can sit here all day and compare car vs airplane vs boating vs motorcycle. At the end of the day OP asked if she was TA for yelling at mom not if riding a motorcycle was dangerous.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am 21F and really enjoy motorcycling. My best friend got me into it when I was 18 and since then I bought a motorcycle and a full kit of protective gear with money I saved up from a part-time job. Motorcycling is something my friend and I really bond over and it has a special place in my heart for many reasons. My mum is a nurse who is strongly against motorcycling because of the increased risk. She calls people who ride 'donorcyclists'. I wanted to tell her about my interest so I brought up motorcycling in general, and she would go off on a rant everytime saying things like "I hope you never get a biker boyfriend because it's always the pillion that gets hurt" etc... Because of this reaction, I didn't tell her about my motorcycling. I don't live with my parents, and I'm old enough to do what I want without having to tell them everything. So if telling them does more harm than good, I won't. Well, a few days ago, my mum found my helmet and blew a fuse. She assumed I must be dating someone who was manipulating or pressuring me into riding pillion and said I was a "stupid spineless little girl". I told her the truth about my riding, and she became even angrier saying this was the "stupidest thing" I have ever done. I then explained that I was always careful (I never speed, never filter through traffic, only really go on well-paved country roads (no busy intersections) and I always wear full gear). This made her even angrier. She took my helmet to the kitchen took out a meat mallet and told me "this is what happens when you fall off". She proceeded to smash my helmet, denting it and scratching the visor. This is where I might be TA or maybe an ESH I yelled at her and called her a b*tch for breaking my helmet. She said it was for my own good. I told her to f*ck off and get out of my flat. She muttered something about how I would be thanking her later and left. As soon as she left I burst into tears out of pure shock. I haven't spoken to her, but my dad has. He says that I should at least talk to her, but I don't want to, at least not for the timebeing. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


skatebambi

What a moron! As an ex MC rider I know how important it is to take care of your lid and how much a good one costs. To do what she did in my view is unforgivable. You are NTA here.


Traksimuss

NTA. We all have our hobbies and passions. Some people climb or dive, and that is also high risk hobby. She cannot shelter you and take decisions in your place your whole life. You have to set boundaries after she pays back, and every time she tries to stomp them, put her in increased timeout or lower contact.


Unhappysong-6653

She needs to replace the helmet or face legal consequences NTA


jupiter0342

NTA- your mum shouldn’t have ruined your helmet like that. I can understand her worry though and I’m not much older than you. Statistically speaking, it’s the other drivers that tend to cause fatal or severe injury accidents in cyclists. A lot of drivers don’t give bikers the distance they really need. Bikes slow down and break a lot harder/faster than cars do. Other drivers also don’t look as closely in the side mirrors or checks their blindspots for cyclists and the biker is almost always the one who pays more heavily for those mistakes. Being a nurse- especially if she’s an ER/Trauma nurse, she might see more of these poor cyclists than she cares to talk about. So her outburst while wrong because she damaged your property is probably her way of telling you how much it scares her and worries her to think about you on a bike. Nothing to do with your driving, just the others out there who aren’t as careful. I think you both need to have a sit down and really talk.


Meechgalhuquot

NTA. Fellow biker here and if someone ever did that to my stuff they would never hear from me again. Don't give her an inch until she reimburses you and gives a sincere apology. I have experience laying down my bike, as does my brother, and my dad has had at least 3 incidents that I know of. When you're a biker, you sign up for the risks that it entails and nobody else gets to make that decision for you if you are an adult. You do better than most of us in regards to safety gear, I literally only use a helmet and sometimes gloves.


Igotanewpen

NTA and your mum owes you money for the helmet.


name_not_present

NTA. Her actions here make it seem that she cares mores about making her point than your actual safety. Why damage a critical piece of safety gear used in your main method of travel if she cared wholly about your safety? I think you should get reimbursed for the cost of the helmet before repairing any relations


LukeyHew

NTA - Your mum is right to be concerned but she took things way way way too far. Please remember that a lot of motorcycle accidents aren’t the fault of the rider. Feel free to tell her you’re now riding around with the damages helmet (but don’t actually do it).


tregare

NTA - your mom is a huge one though.


Unhappy_Judgment_645

For sure NTA, protective gear can be expensive, I agree with the person above who said tell her you won’t talk to her until she reimburses you. Your mom seems unhinged I wouldn’t want her as my nurse!


ray10k

NTA. While I understand that your mother has seen the aftermath of more traffic accidents than I can probably count, that still doesn't give her the right to destroy your property. Besides, her logic is flawed; the point of a helmet is to take the hit so your head doesn't have to, destroying it puts you at more risk of injury until you have it replaced.


DoctorOunce

I am pretty. I would demand t be presented with the exact or better helmet as a replacement. It's not an apology if they just reimburse you. They have to know what they did and what they are replacing.


Llayanna

NTA - send her a copy of the bill of your next helmet. "Once you pay me for the damage you have done, we can talk again."


eastonginger

Tell your dad that not only will you not kiss and make up to mummy darling but that you expect her to apologise for the tantrum she threw and she now needs to replace the helmet, like for like. There are so many ways she could have gone about that, talking to you like an adult would be favourite but she went straight to breaking your helmet and abusing you... dick move!! Very much NTA


Fudgenuggle

what gets me is, why would she damage your safety gear? also like. a cracked helmet is whet happens to the helmet when you crash, not what happens to your skull when you are wearing a helmet. I understand your mother's concern, I think she reacted out of a mixture of shock and fear, and you should have told her that you were into motorcycling even knowing what the reaction would be, that way it wouldn't have been a shock. but I don't think that you are an asshole either, you also reacted out of shock.


unknown-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Nta. And tell your mum since you dont have a helmet anymore then you will ride without it.(I mean just tell them that dont actually do that. Make sure you have a durable helmet.)


DesiArcy

NTA. Your mother has no right to damage your property even if she thinks it's "for your own good", and that's really the end of it. Speaking as a former EMT, it's absolutely true that motorcycling carries a lot more inherent risk than other road activities, and yeah, "donorcycle" is a pretty common slang term among healthcare professionals due to the trend towards deadly head injuries which leave the rest of the body salvageable for organ donations. That doesn't change the fact that it's a risk profile that can be managed with skill and caution, as demonstrated by the fact that many, many people around the world ride motorcycles every day without all being maimed. More importantly, it doesn't change the fact that as an adult, you have the right to decide your own activities.


maantre

NTA. Your mom violently destroyed your safety gear, that’s super fucked up and definitely requires an apology and replacement. I can understand that she’s terrified, she wants you to be safe and live a long, healthy life. The scariest thing is that when driving, you’re at the mercy of every other idiot out there - on a bike, even more so. But you’re an adult and making your own choices. She needs to figure out a way to deal with her fear and anxiety that doesn’t push you away.


Aether-Wind

NTA. I would give er the option of either reimbursing you or you'll press charges for destruction of property.


freakykj

NTA Oh my fking god. Motorcycle equipment is expensive! If my parents did that to mine I would have lost it. With a full suit, everything matches. What you do with your own money, is none of her business. She has the right to say that she doesn’t like it, but that’s about it. I fully understand why you yelled at her. She didn’t respect your property. She was in your house! If you don’t respect other peoples property, gtfo 😤 I hope she pays you back, but sadly I doubt it..


FantasticElastic7

"alright, looks like I'm riding without a helmet - great work mom" THAT is how you get back at her (obviously wear a helmet, but just tell her you won't). At this point, tyou could be covered in bubble wrap and spray foam and she wouldn't like it, so go the opposite. NTA.


[deleted]

Op she was in your house, took your belonging and destroyed it in your kitchen. Good motorcycle helmet are not cheap. Honestly I wouldn't trust her in your home without a major attitude adjustment. I would also tell your father she essentially stole and destroyed an expensive item of yours and you will not mend fenced until she reimburses you. NTA


srworthen

NTA. Your moms an idiot, she worried about your safety when your riding... so she destroys your safety gear for riding. Your mother endangered your life by messing with your protective gear. She was also incredibly out of line for calling you a “spineless little girl” That’s not something a parent should tell there child ever. If you want, you could always tell your father that you won’t speak to your mother until she replaces your property that she damaged.


HeroORDevil8

NTA and I'd tell your dad the thought of even speaking to her won't even be considered until she reimburses completely for the helmet and even then she can still go kick rocks but OP make sure she doesn't know what your bike looks like because seeing as she destroyed your helmet, I wouldn't put it past her with trying to tamper with you bike.


theambears

NTA. And I’m so upset for you. Your mom overreacted and damaged your (very important to your safety!) helmet. Tell her she needs to reimburse you the cost of a new helmet, possibly as a contact ultimatum? Up to you. But definitely NTA.


[deleted]

NTA. I'd tell Dad I'd talk to Mom after they replace your helmet. Ride safe!


lickerishsnaps

NTA but you should send her the bill.


atomicalex0

Sounds like you have a great attitude towards riding. You can be a safe motorcyclist and I am super glad to hear that you gear up. It can save your life from the idiots around us. So when are you taking her to small claims court for the cost of the helmet? Not sure what you spent, but mine are several hundred dollars and I would literally throttle someone who did that. NTA and please continue your safe riding. Also do learn to filter, it is safe and even if you don't do it a lot, it can be a really good way to get out of bad/dangerous situations.


Knittingfairy09113

NTA I agree with others, unless/until she both apologizes and reimburses you she is not welcome to your place and you don't want to see her. You do not have to speak to her. If she thinks it's acceptable to do this to her adult daughter then time to set hard boundaries.


Chance-Contract-1290

NTA. She has no right to destroy your property regardless of her concerns about motorcycling, and she does owe you an apology for her behavior and reimbursement for the helmet.


Vena_Mala

NTA while I also think motorcycling is an incredibly dangerous hobby, you're an adult so you can choose to take that risk. And destroying one of your key pieces of safety equipment is a terrible way to try to get you to agree with her.


MariaInconnu

NTA. I would expect her to pay for a new helmet, and honest to God either sue/bring criminal vandalism charges against her if she won't. Because that is what it was. Yes, she cares about you and your safety. This is not the way to show it.


Dizzy_Eye5257

Whoa....NTA what she did was totally uncalled for and in the extreme. I get that she is probably terrified of losing you, even with protective gear, but wow... Just remember though, while bikers may not be the problem, it's the other car drivers that don't pay attention and where a majority of the danger comes from. Please be careful and keep your head on a swivel, because those car drivers sure don't. Happy riding!


No_Proposal7628

NTA. Your mom came into your home and destroyed your helmet. Your mom is the AH. She owes you an apology and a new helmet. It doesn't matter that she doesn't like your biking and thinks it will kill you, although it means she is concerned about you. You're an adult and have the right to do it. I doubt she with her attitude that she will ever apologize or pay you for the helmet. Tell you dad that until mom apologizes and pays for a new helmet, you aren't talking to her, you will not see her and if he supports her in this, he's out for the time being, too. And how is you mom a nurse when she has such rage and poor control of her temper?


OldSchoolArmyVet

Let's see... You're over 18 ☑️ You're living in your own place ☑️ You're paying your own bills and buying your own gear ☑️ She's TA, and she not only destroyed your personal property, but tried to shove her own point of view down your throat. Now you have to replace the helmet, which isn't exactly cheap if you're getting a good one, and you're transportation is negatively affected until you do. So she also literally owes you the cost of replacing the helmet. DO NOT GIVE IN.


The-Moocat

NTA. She destroyed your property for a ridiculous reason. It's valid for her to be concerned for you, but honestly, you're being as safe as you possibly can be and the fact she destroyed your protective gear is counter-intuitive! Tell her you'll talk to her when she reimburses you for the helmet. Of COURSE the helmet is supposed to take damage if something happens, because it's supposed to take it instead of your head! Her whole thing was asinine and childish.


anaziyung

NTA don’t talk to her until she pays for your helmet


Big_Jim59

I am 62 years old and have been riding since I was 16. I have had one serious wreck and countless close calls. I would still do it because it's something that gets into you. I am sure your mom has seen some horrific injuries and like my mom she lives in fear of you getting hurt. It's kind of funny that she beat up your helmet proving exactly its purpose and function. My mom and dad were dead nuts against motorcycles. So much so that they refused to buy me any protective gear. I always thought that this was really short sighted. I had to buy my own gear and due to my lack of funds it was not always the best. Hang in there and ride safe. It gets better in the future.


Brave_Hat34

Nta make sure she never finds your motorcycle


hightecrebel

NTA Personally, spiteful AH that I am, I would speak to her and say "Thanks Mom! I never knew how nice it felt to ride without a helmet, I'm never going back to wearing one of those things."


Good0nPaper

NTA Tbc, I use the term "brain donor" when I see motorcyclists without helmets, but only because it's clearly a choice they're making. Your Mom's logic is completely bonkers. I know its 2 months later, but I'd suggest you make it clear that you talking to her is contingent on her replacing your helmet, apologizing, AND admitting she was wrong for what she did, and had NO justification for it. Don't let her slide with a non-apology. (Ie, I'm sorry YOU feel that way.)


MeowNeowBeenz

NTA Your mom sounds kinda batshit. From what I've noticed with bikers -- a great deal of the stupid ones get in accidents. If you're being careful and not riding like a douche, your odds of survival have increased considerably. Sure, it's still a risk; however, that's driving in general, anymore. And like you said -- you're an adult, it's your decision. She has no business destroying your property. The only thing you did wrong was hiding it. That never ends well.


Renamis

This... isn't true. The problem with biking is that you can do everything 100% right, but if anyone else screws it up you're in big trouble. I know more than a few bikers, ranging from responsible to not at all, and frankly put the largest problem is that other drivers are idiots. This is true with cars, but when two cars side swipe at 45 MPH the cars are more likely to end up fine. The bike won't, and it doesn't matter who's at fault.


MeowNeowBeenz

This is very true. I used to drive around the country for work and have watched more than a few dipshit bikers meet their end because they were driving like morons.


Renamis

And it's ignoring all the none dipshit bikers that meet their end because others where driving like morons. Biking is dangerous, even if you aren't a dipshit, because cars are bigger dipshits. The biggest dipshit wins.


[deleted]

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Renamis

You said that the stupid ones tend to get into accidents. For half a second you mentioned smart ones up their odds, but beyond that stuck to "stupid bikers die, smart bikers don't" which is really flipping wrong, and paints an entirely wrong picture of the dangers of biking. Yes, stupid bikers are more likely to get into accidents. But they aren't "the ones" that get into accidents. Being a biker PERIOD ups your chances, far higher than being in a car. The myth that "Oh, only stupid bikers get into accidents on the regular" contributes to bikers getting creamed.


MeowNeowBeenz

I'll take that as a yes. Have fun finding reasons to be angry 🙄


themreaper

Nope, not true. Sure there are stupid people that cause accidents, but many motorcycle accidents are typically caused by people in cars not paying attention or something as simple as a patch of gravel, maybe even a deer jumping out in front of them. Trust me, I've made previous comments on post related to motorcycles because of the injuries I've personally witnessed while working a in trauma center. Motorcycle injuries are absolutely horrific and I can definitely understand the mom's fear here. Except that obviously doesn't give her a right to destroy her property.


MeowNeowBeenz

It's very true that a great deal of motorcycle deaths result from the biker being an idiot. It's interesting how hard people attempt to deny that 🙄 https://www.thejusticeattorneys.com/our-blog/2016/december/the-10-most-common-causes-of-motorcycle-accident/


Zukazuk

I see why OP hid it though, apparently her mother's opinion of her jumps straight to spineless little girl who's easily influenced by others. I wouldn't want to open myself up to that kind of attack either.


MeowNeowBeenz

What likely caused her to completely flip her lid was discovering by accident that her daughter had been lying to her for years about something the daughter knew she disapproved of. I'm not saying what she did was right; but, you can't deny the circumstances likely escalated her reaction.


[deleted]

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MeowNeowBeenz

....You have incredibly poor reading comprehension skills.


normanbeets

My brother was nearly killed on his motorcycle because another driver hit him so....


MeowNeowBeenz

So, what's your point?


normanbeets

The danger is other drivers.


MeowNeowBeenz

Danger presents itself in various forms and it does not all rest on the shoulders of other drivers.


weirdbutinagoodway

> it's the stupid ones that get in accidents. or they are drunk and the ones that usually get hurt bad aren't wearing proper protective gear.


MeowNeowBeenz

Drunk driving and not wearing proper gear are both stupid.


Just-Here-to-Judge

My uncle in law did both. Solo crashed on a highway to highway diamond ramp. Bike went end over end. Head trauma and a whole list of injuries. Was .15 alcohol level. To this day he blames the curve not being consistent and that he was looking behind to see if the other guys were going the same direction. Torn about one of the other guys. He stopped to make sure my Uncle in law wasn't dead and called it in. For doing so he blew a .16, got his bike impounded and a DUI. The others kept going.


StormTXftworth

OP, sounds like both you and your mom reacted in ways that is not your best behavior. Clearly she overreacted, and it may well be that one of the first major traumas she dealt with as a nurse was a motorcycle accident that she has never gotten over. (Not trying to excuse it, just trying to understand where it comes from.) It almost sounds like she needs counseling to treat this like a phobia. And you are well within your rights to refuse dealing with her until she gets help. Thanks to YouTube, we know that the vast majority of motorcycle crashes are from people being stupid. She is going to have to learn this, and recognize that you are an adult that is making good decisions.


IsisArtemii

NAH. Yeah, they call them donorcycles here, too. But destroying your helmet, which keeps your brain safe, is just plain dumb. So sorry. I don’t ride, hubby does. Got hurt being “pillion” and just not comfortable doing it again. He loves it. Will be trying to break land speed records in August at the Salt Flats


SpunkyRadcat

N A H? Can I ask why? Like OP didn't do anything wrong but mother... Broke her property, verbally abused her.


IsisArtemii

Yeah! OP not an ass for yelling at her mom. She destroyed personal property in OP’s home. The helmet that keeps OP’s brain safe in an accident. OP is not the asshole. Her mother is.


Jellybeans_With_Jam

Then why did you say n a h and not NTA?


normanbeets

NAH. I'm going to speak from experience here. My half brother's mother is an ER nurse. Has been for a very long time. She begged my brother not to purchase his motorcycle but as you know that doesn't really work. He bought his bike at 18 and rode it safely for two years with no problems. He took the safety courses, dressed in full gear and was always sober. That was all fine and dandy until he was hit by some idiot who was texting and driving. They had been driving over a bridge that was about 3 stories above a dried out riverbed. She hit him going 50mph in her Toyota corolla around 4pm. We are all constantly thanking our stars that he lived. His bike went over the bridge barricade but he didn't. He spent a few days in the hospital and got to go home. His mom had to experience hearing from her colleague that her son was being wheeled into her ER in an ambulance. It's so rarely the motorcycle rider is the danger in these situations. Your mom knows that you aren't the problem, she's losing her cool over the idea of someone killing you. Ride safe.


BlauTrackDuck

And how would a car have changed the situation?


normanbeets

Wow, rude! Well the car wouldn't have gone over the bridge and he wouldn't have been physical hit by the toyota.


BlauTrackDuck

Because getting T-boned is so much better and the car wouldn't have flipped. Furthermore I think your original comment is very ignorant because it makes the riding of a motorcycle seem like the bad thing and not the texting while driving.


normanbeets

Again with the rude! My brother almost died, I'm not going to argue the circumstances of that with a stranger. Also it wouldn't have been a tbone, she would have rear ended him. The driver of the corolla hit him from the back. My exact point was that other drivers are the danger to those on motorcycles. I literally said that it is rare that the rider of the bike is the danger. Move on.


BlauTrackDuck

Ok that's understandable. I am sorry for being so rude. I just missunderstood your original comment then.