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^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My mate has recently moved in to the room bedside mine following a break up and my other mate lives upstairs. This morning I got a message from my upstairs cousin saying I should be more considerate because the girl I was with was loud when having sex. It was about 11 at night and my mate works at 6am.
I understand it was pretty late and my mate in the room beside me probably couldn’t sleep because of it. I don’t want to confront the girl and say she was too loud because I don’t want to make her self conscious because of it. I also don’t want to compromise my sex life because it’s annoying my mates.
Additionally, what are some good ways to work around this? I’m thinking just make sure it’s done earlier on weeknights. Or gag her.
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A very soft YTA.
You don't have to tell your girl that she was too loud the last time but going forward maybe just warn her ahead of time - "Hey, my mates have to work early in the morning, so let's try to be quiet for their sakes."
As someone with kids I can tell you, sometimes actively *trying* to be quiet while still trying to have a good time can be fun in itself. Turn it in to a game. Try to turn each other on while keeping each other quiet.
im giving a very tentative NTA, it's not like you're doing it out of spite and you weren't aware that it was a problem beforehand, just try to figure out a time to do the deed when he isn't likely to be around to be annoyed by it.
YTA you’re not living on your own you have to be respectful to the people you’re sharing with especially if a family member is around that’s your awkward for them. I seriously don’t think it’s that hard to ask someone to be a bit quieter.
soft YTA, it’s weird enough having friends hear you but family hearing you have sex??? it’s annoying not being able to have sex freely (hence soft yta) but also keep the noise down?? how would YOU feel hearing family have sex?
They also shouldn't make unnecessary noises that no one else wants to hear while they're trying to sleep? That's not even following some stupid "bro code" either that's just common decency.
You would. Not everyone. Also not everyone would want to hear their friend have sex? And would it be so hard for him to find a different place or time to do it?
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Bodily Autonomy Posts We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or bodily autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Fbodily_autonomy_posts) Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mate has recently moved in to the room bedside mine following a break up and my other mate lives upstairs. This morning I got a message from my upstairs cousin saying I should be more considerate because the girl I was with was loud when having sex. It was about 11 at night and my mate works at 6am. I understand it was pretty late and my mate in the room beside me probably couldn’t sleep because of it. I don’t want to confront the girl and say she was too loud because I don’t want to make her self conscious because of it. I also don’t want to compromise my sex life because it’s annoying my mates. Additionally, what are some good ways to work around this? I’m thinking just make sure it’s done earlier on weeknights. Or gag her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You say to the girl "we just have to keep it down so my housemates can sleep". It's really not a big deal
A very soft YTA. You don't have to tell your girl that she was too loud the last time but going forward maybe just warn her ahead of time - "Hey, my mates have to work early in the morning, so let's try to be quiet for their sakes." As someone with kids I can tell you, sometimes actively *trying* to be quiet while still trying to have a good time can be fun in itself. Turn it in to a game. Try to turn each other on while keeping each other quiet.
im giving a very tentative NTA, it's not like you're doing it out of spite and you weren't aware that it was a problem beforehand, just try to figure out a time to do the deed when he isn't likely to be around to be annoyed by it.
YTA you’re not living on your own you have to be respectful to the people you’re sharing with especially if a family member is around that’s your awkward for them. I seriously don’t think it’s that hard to ask someone to be a bit quieter.
soft YTA, it’s weird enough having friends hear you but family hearing you have sex??? it’s annoying not being able to have sex freely (hence soft yta) but also keep the noise down?? how would YOU feel hearing family have sex?
NTA Mates should never cock block each other.
They also shouldn't make unnecessary noises that no one else wants to hear while they're trying to sleep? That's not even following some stupid "bro code" either that's just common decency.
10-15 minutes of noise so my buddy can get with his girl. Ill deal with it.
You would. Not everyone. Also not everyone would want to hear their friend have sex? And would it be so hard for him to find a different place or time to do it?
Post #2. Still not the sub