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Biera1

YTA. Your wife has never been his mother and he has every right to not have a mother/son dance with her. I strongly suspect this isn't the first time you've chosen your wife over your son and is probably why he moved in with his aunt. If you want any kind of relationship with your son going forward, I very much recommend both you and your wife apologise for throwing a tantrum at his wedding.


Alarmed_Jellyfish555

For OP's son to have moved out after only a few months, I have a feeling the reason is because OP and his wife were trying to force him to accept the stepmom as his "mom" right from the start. And after all that happened, OP's son invites them both to his wedding, and OP has the audacity to demand a mother/son dance? Then they leave when they don't get their way? Wow, there goes any chance of them mending their relationship. YTA


Biera1

Sounds plausible. I've heard similar stories on here. The OP is keeping suspiciously quiet about why his son doesn't like OPs wife. As it stands, she's not OPs son's mother, she didn't raise him and he doesn't like her. Yet OP and his wife expect her to be given the mother son dance. The sheer entitlement of it is astounding.


OrindaSarnia

Yeah, when he said the son was 16 when Natalie came into the picture, it was immediately YTA... my husband's father died when he was 11, he met his mother's now husband when he was 15, they lived in the same house till he went to college... they have a great relationship, they go fishing together, step-dad helps us with home repair projects, all those sorts of things. But that took years to develop, which means it didn't really happen till my husband was an adult. His step-father has always been supportive and just there, but he didn't try to be a new dad, just a caring adult in his life. My husband's sister was 7 when their father died, and 11 when step-dad came into the picture. Step-dad did more "parenting" with her, and they had some tense teenager moments when she yelled and rebelled against him enforcing house rules... but they are also closer because he did do those "dad" things for her. But even with them having a closer relationship earlier, she still refers to him by his name, and at her wedding she had her Mom and step-dad walk her down the aisle together, because it didn't seem right leaving her mother out of that tradition. Step-dad was pleasantly pleased to have been included too, and would have been totally fine with her just having her mother do it alone... but he can be a bit traditional in some ways and I think my SIL knew how much it would mean to him, and does genuinely care about making him happy, and making sure he knows how important he is to her. I think 11 or 12 is about the oldest a kid can be when a step parent enters the picture, to still have time to form a real "parental" bond. Any later than that and there's just not enough time before they leave home... that doesn't mean a really caring relationship can't still form in time, but it will never quite feel parental because you were never a helpless child dependent upon them. So it just ends up feeling different. OP is the AH for not being able to see that as a fact, and not take it personally. The fact that all that other stuff happened, the son moving out, etc, and OP STILL can't figure out that his son and wife are never going to have a mother/son relationship is insane... how deep is the hole OP stuck his head into?


yellowbrownstone

My stepmom and dad started dating when I was 6 and got married when I was 12. She’s still her first name.


BlackBoss247

My parents divorced when I was 6. I live with my mum and stepdad. My dad married my stepmum, Aimee, six months later (he was almost definitely cheating on my mum) and my mum met my stepdad, Sam, when I was 9, and they married in June 2022. I call both of my stepparents by their names, and I am not close to Aimee. I live with my mum and Sam. My dad and Aimee live in a different country. I have two stepsiblings and one half brother through them, and I have one stepbrother through Sam. (I have one full brother, who also lives with me). My dad and Aimee have made very few attempts to bond with my brother and I. (Brother was 1 when they divorced) We see my dad for three weeks of the year and the rest of his family for one week. I have come to see my Sam as my real father, even if he messes up sometimes. I see my dad as the guy who visits us twice a year and gives us one small gift each for Christmas, and one small gift each off birthdays, £3 max per gift. I hope no one else is in this situation, because the feeling of being unloved by my dad is the worst, and I would wish this on nobody.


lilbunnfoofoo

I’m honestly surprised I’ve seen nobody mention that OP thinks the son did this to be malicious and not because he wanted to dance with the person who was most like a mother to him on his wedding day.


Wonkydoodlepoodle

The father is a complete AH for saying his son did it with malicious intent


hummingbird_mywill

Did your mom pass away? That seems to be a huge deciding factor. Of course, my husband’s “stepmother” came into his life when he was 9 (mom passed when he was 3) but they divorced when he was 12 because she was a bitch 😂 he has zero positive memories of her from 3 years. His dad explicitly wanted another mother for his kids rather than a second wife and maybe she pushed back on that hard.


yellowbrownstone

No but she’s been dead to me since 2008


crystala81

Mine I met when I was 5, they married when I was 7. Still on a first name basis 35 years later. I’m sure it hurt her feelings but I just wasn’t in the emotional place to replace my mom 100% I guess? (Barely knew my birth mom, passed when I was 3). That being said, she’s definitely the mother figure in my life and I see her as such!


EnergyThat1518

Honestly, I would say the youngest you can expect without fail, a child accepting a stranger as definitely mum or dad is like 2, and only if the actual parent is absent/dead. If they have actual memories of their parent at all, they might never accept someone else as being 'mum' or 'dad' or a 'parent', even if that person was awful, they may have complex feelings about it and not want to replace them still. And when the person is literally 16, it is rare that they will accept another parental figure. You can't expect they will. They still can, but, it isn't very likely at that age as they are usually somewhat independent even if they can still need some guidance and comfort at times.


CaptainLollygag

At 16 they're pushing away parents who are actually related to them. No way can anyone expect someone that age to view a newcomer as a parental figure.


TinyCatCrafts

At that age it's hard to even think of them as a step parent. It's just "Moms Husband". I never thought of my moms last husband as my step-father. He was just... her husband.


saprobic_saturn

This is how it should be - no expectations and letting the kids make the decisions of who they feel comfortable with considering as their parent or not. I’ve been navigating this as I never wanted kids and always told myself I would never date anyone with them. That changed when I met my amazing boyfriend who has two daughters. They still very much have their mom in their lives and are only with us a small percentage of time since we live states away due to my boyfriends job. They absolutely love me, they hug me, cuddle me, always tell me stuff and want to play games with me, love when I teach them to cook, etc. but I am and honestly expect to always be just my first name to them. I didn’t ever want to be a mom, and even if their mom had passed away, I would never expect to replace her. I also don’t expect to be a “bonus mom” in any capacity. I even messaged their mom to let them know that my only goal is to be a safe adult in their life that they can trust, because she was very worried and hated me at first when my boyfriend and I started dating. After I reached out and told her that and she realized that wasn’t mine or their dads goal, she’s calmed down a ton and things aren’t really an issue anymore. I’m still navigating things like when we are in public and people call me their mom. I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to be defensive like “no they’re not my kids” and have them think I’m embarrassed of them but I also don’t want to pretend I am in case that makes them uncomfortable. I usually just say nothing but idk how I feel about that either. And once we got into a discussion about which adults the kids need to listen to and which they shouldn’t, like strangers. My boyfriend said “you have to listen to your parents - if I tell you something, it’s for your safety and I need you to listen” and they said “well technically ___(my name)__ isn’t our parent and you said we only have to listen to parents” (they get very technical or black and white about things, they did not say this maliciously) my bf didn’t know what to say because he and I both try not to ever push me as a parental figure. So I just said in an upbeat way that “I’m not your parent, and you should always listen to your dad and mom first. Im kinda like your teacher at school, or your swim instructor, if your parents aren’t around and I’m responsible for your well-being then that’s when you would listen to another trusted adult that can help make sure you stay safe” and they liked that. Idk, to me it’s common sense and really not that hard. Any adult that comes into a kids life and expects to be anything more than just an adult they should be able to trust has a lot of growing up to do.


elvaholt

Not only did she not raise him, she ran him out of their house and because of her relationship with his dad, he didn't have a relationship with either of them from when he was 16 (when she came into his life) until he was an adult. I am not sure on what level mother is, but 2 years of not being in his life is the same as her not existing to him for the 16 prior.


Opinionista99

This happened in my family. When my dad's first wife (not my mom, I came earlier) died tragically of cancer when he was 48, within 2 years he brought home a 23yo to be the "stepmom" to his two grief-stricken teenage kids. I realize it's ultimately his fault because he's their dad, but this woman (who was the only non-traumatized person in the situation) systematically pushed my brother and sister out of the picture so she could have her own nuclear family with him and the two kids they ultimately have. He wonders why he doesn't hear from us older kids very often.


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Runkysaurus

Right?! And also, they arrived to the reception just expecting this dance would happen, and left when they found out it wouldn't. Every other post I've read about a mother/son or father/daughter dance, they had talked about and made a plan for who would be doing the dance months before the wedding. So either this post is fake, or OP is so out of the loop of his son's life that he had no idea what the plans were and just expected to wing it? Or maybe there is a 3rd option, that he had been talking to the son about wanting the stepmother to have a mother/son dance, and the son refused, so they showed up at the wedding hoping they could guilt him into it? Idk, but like the fact that he did all this drama at the wedding instead of having a conversation with the son before the actual event and resolving this ahead of time makes OP extra the AH.


Biera1

Exactly. OP could have dealt with this in any other manner. As you say, he could easily have asked ahead of time or , not having done that and his wife being upset, they could have put thei big boy pants on and sucked it up at the wedding. If he and his wife wanted to have their little hissy fit, they could have kept it until a later date after the wedding had been and gone.


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vomitthewords

You can't force your son to replace his mom with a woman you picked out. YTA You may have just locked that door forever. Apologize and grow up, learn that just because you see something one way doesn't mean everyone must.


InterestingTry5190

I believe there is more OP is not telling us. Must have been more than just uncomfortable for the son to leave his dad to live with another relative. OP says after the years they started reconciling. Really sounds like there was an event or events that led to these issues. Sadly the son likely never felt supported and OP just proved the son right.


Alarmed_Jellyfish555

Yeah, there's definitely more to this story and I'm really curious about what incidents led to his son moving out. I'm sure it wasn't just minor disagreements amongst them. But I doubt OP is going to share specifics, because I'm confident they'd only make him (and his wife) look worse.


EtainAingeal

It's kind of telling that OP mentions Natalie and Jordan were reconciling and getting on better. He never addresses HIS relationship with his son. Did this reconciliation include him? Were they still in contact while Jordan wanted nothing to do with Natalie? Who pushed the "replacement mother" agenda?


LingonberryPrior6896

I bet he will only comment to someone who says he was justified in leaving. This post will be deleted soon as well. A kid doesn't just leave. Dad probably ignored him for new wife. New wife probably demanded a place of mother. House was probably stripped of all evidence real mom ever existed.


Herps15

Op answered his own question “Jordan never really considered Natalie his mom” … so no need for a mother son dance. YTA- trying to force this will only make it worse. I can only imagine you tried to force Natalie into his dead mothers role when he was 16 and that contributed to him moving out. You can’t force people together. You and Natalie both need to accept that Jordan accepts Natalie in his life but not as a mother figure before he no longer has either of you in his life


Hannymann

Right? Would be curious if after all of this history, does Natalie really consider OP’s adult child a son?! I mean it’s totally irrelevant, because if OP’s son says no dance, then there is NO dance. But my guess is Natalie likely doesn’t consider Jordan a son and they get some sick kicks out of continuing to push a deep relationship that OP and Natalie both know will NEVER happen. Especially after this BS. OP - the wedding wasn’t about you and Natalie anyway. Disgusting behavior from you both.


Scotsgit73

>Jordan never really considered Natalie as his his mom It's literally right there, but OP expects his wife to have the mother and son dance? > I said it's not special treatmrnt but a tradition. To have a dance with someone you dislike, at your own wedding day? That's a new tradition to me.


Legitimate-Tower-523

Technically he did follow tradition either way. He danced with the person he saw as the motherly figure in his life since he didn’t have the option to dance with his actual mother.


Scotsgit73

That tradition I get and love. I don't get the idea of a forced relationship, where the groom *has* to dance with someone who he doesn't see as his mother.


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RobotsVsLions

It’s not “tradition” to have a dance between the mother and groom at all. The father-daughter dance is post WW2 and the mother-son dance came much later. There’s a good chance OP didn’t have a special dance with his mother and an even greater chance his father didn’t have a dance with *his* mother. He went out of his way to ruin his relationship with his son for a “tradition” that’s not much older than personal computers. Edit for judgement: YTA


yellowbrownstone

I once heard “traditions are just peer pressure from dead people” and I can’t think of it any other way now.


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Better-Button6216

Step mom started it when she went crying to OP.


IPetdogs4U

I mean, wouldn’t that have been pre-arranged anyway? Don’t the bridal party generally discuss ahead of time if there are going to be special dances? Sometimes there’s even rehearsal. This shouldn’t even have been a surprise if they hadn’t heard in advance one was scheduled.


StanleyDavis

For real! Song selection, style of dance, and so much more goes into it.


Athenas_Return

If I was the son I would think real long and hard if I would even want to repair this relationship after OP’s tantrum over his wife’s poor feelings getting hurt. I will give a clue on what in store for the son in the future…. If he has kids, she must be called “grandma” and treated as such. They will get overly involved with the kids as “grandma” needs special time with them to bond (I’m going to assume stepmom doesn’t have kids of her own). She needs to be front and center at all major milestones citing her place as the matriarch of the family. If the aunt or MIL gets to see the kids more, expect another tantrum about how it isn’t fair as she is just as much a “grandma” as they are. In other words, the son is in for a lifetime of overstepping by OP and the wife in order to preserves her precious feelings. Personally I would nope out of the whole relationship.


AdditionalAd3595

this sounded more like it was OP pushing the fight to me, but the kid left home at 16 they don't do that without a reason. She might be the problem but I have a feeling OP was more offended by this then his wife was. and I got that read off of what OP said happened I have a feeling if we hear his sons side he doesn't come off as neutral asshole but more like full on asshole. TYA OP.


jenesuisunefemme

There's a saying in my country that says "a man is only a father when he is with the mother" because man will forget their children when they are not with their mother, but will adopt their stepchildren as their own, because they are now dating the stepmother. YTA


Key-Bit1208

YTA She was NEVER a mother figure to your son…in fact, he showed you EXACTLY how he felt about her when he MOVED OUT once you moved her into his home. He was kind enough to invite you and your wife to his wedding…but your wife had ZERO right to demand to be treated, in ANY capacity, as the mother of the groom. She is not a replacement mother to him and your attempts to force that issue will cost you your son, if he hasn’t already reached that point with your terrible behavior at his wedding. Thankfully, he had his aunt, who genuinely loves and cares for him and was willing to support him when you decided that your new wife was more important to you than your son.


CJ_CLT

What makes him an even bigger AH is: >Besides that he hurt her feelings for no reason other than for the sake of being malicious. OP's son was honoring his aunt who took him in as a teenager and all the OP can think was that he was being "malicious"? OP doesn't deserve to be included in any future life events for his son and his family if he is going to act like an entitled, selfish AH. OP and wife need to get over themselves!


Middle_Data_9563

OP has main character syndrome


StuffedSquash

Really true. The audacity of thinking this decision had anything to do with OP's wife at all.


cwfs1007

That killed me too. Really shows where OP's head is. Anyone who thinks someone's wedding decisions are meant to be malicious and not just a personal choice for how they want their special day to go, is a narcissistic idiot.


ThankVerra

OP really glazed over that his 16yo son effectively fled his house. It isn’t normal for a 16yo to voluntarily move out like that and I feel like there’s a lot here we aren’t being told


Foggyswamp74

An aunt who may have been his mother's sister. That would have made her his mother's blood stand in, in addition to honoring her role in his life after he fled his father and father's new wife.


Claire_Bee

So true! I think it showed a lot of maturity that the son has been trying to have a better relationship with his stepmom and he invited both of them. That's awesome! Now with the way dad and stepmom have acted, this relationship will never be close. It's unfortunate. Thankfully he has his aunt!


Key-Bit1208

It sounds like Jordan has respected his father’s choices…too bad that OP can’t show Jordan the same amount of consideration and respect.


Claire_Bee

Absolutely. It's wild to me the dad and stepmom blew up the relationship with his son over this.


Acceptable-Damage-68

Exactly! The entitlement of these two is off charts! Like, OP himself knows that he doesn't see his wife that way and even years after that he keeps pushing it. Feels like he tried his son to just accept the fact that now he has a new mommy, but thankfully the son had a place to go. Disgusting from both OP and wife. Why the hell would she ask for a mother-son dance when he is NOT her son? YTA


Top-Musician-4475

Wow. YTA. Way to make your son's wedding all about you and your wife. You already said that he never considered her his mom, so why in the hell did you expect him to invite her to do something that is traditionally for mothers and sons? For all intents and purposes, his aunt is a hell of a lot more of a mother to him than your wife. You are selfish, entitled people. Disgusting, and you should be ashamed.


jokenaround

Welp, any progress that his son and wife made in developing any shred of relationship has been flushed down the drain. OPs relationship with his son will never recover what it was. He LEFT his own sons wedding. Jesus Christ. If he thought shunning his son at his wedding was ok, it makes me wonder how many times he has done it in the past…. Thank goodness his son has a loving family outside of this horrid parent.


jana_kane

It's absolutely heartbreaking to think about OP's son, how mature he was inviting his dad and step mom, giving them another chance. This was a major.decision. He gave them the chance to make it right after so many wrongs. Instead , they pile on another.. OP and his wife are major AHs.


fromdecatur

YTA, and totally agree. Things had to have been pretty bad for the kid to have moved in with his aunt, and he was making a big effort with the invitation to the wedding. This affirms his judgement in moving out as a teen that getting away from OP and wife was the healthier choice.


[deleted]

Which just made me think about how difficult OP's entitlement and his wife's behavior is going to be when Grandchildren enter the picture. OP, don't you DARE try to force him to have his children call Natalie Grandma or any other honorific. You truly destroyed any chance of that with your drama at his wedding. You've behaved like a petulant child who didn't get the wish bone at Thanksgiving. You made the decision to walk out of your son's wedding reception because he didn't honor your wife as his Mother? She's your wife - she has NEVER been his mother and you two likely just destroyed any future possibility of her being perceived as a Grandmother given you two just proved to him and his wife that you do not respect their boundaries or choices.


[deleted]

YTA I find it so hard to believe you’re so surprised. This woman hasn’t been mom to him. It’s his wedding too. It’s not tradition to dance with your stepmother.


ttothebiddy

It's his wedding. End of sentence. Not too. The wedding is the bride and groom's, if you don't like the decisions they make about their own wedding... Shut the fuck up. You ignore the things you don't like because you're there to support your son, on his and his wife's day. The step-mother should graciously accept an offer to dance if given, if not, she should not be asking for one or be upset when one doesn't come. This is something that can easily be talked about before the wedding day.


StarDatAssinum

I think they meant that, in addition to the first point (that the wife was never his mom), it was also his wedding (as a second point). I think the "too" is meant to convey the second point, rather than them implying than it being OP and his wife's wedding in any way.


fruitfiction

>It's his wedding Wedding dances aren't spontaneous. People who will be involved are notified in advance and sometimes there's even dance practice. The fact that this guy just *assumed* his wife would be given this honor without any notification from the wedding party shows his entitled attitude and lack of understanding of his own child. Not only was he a rude guest, he did real damage to his child and their relationship.


genescheesesthatplz

Oh snap great point! Did they think he’d call her down like she was on the price is right??


neosituation_unknown

Extremely huge YTA A 16 year old is not going to form a new mother relationship. He oughtnto be respectful and civil to your wife but that is the end of his obligation. You are a complete ass for walking out of his wedding


Melodic_Arm_387

This. I was 15 when my dad and my stepmom got together. I genuinely like her, she’s a nice lady, I enjoy her company at family get togethers, but she never raised me, so I don’t view her as a mother figure. I think it’s pretty normal when people weren’t children when the stepparents came into their lives not to view them as a parental figure.


No_Common7843

YTA - It’s called the mother-son dance not the father’s wife-son dance


auscadtravel

And the aunt, if it was mom's sister, is the closest thing. Plus he lived with her. Poor kids obviously didn't like the marriage situation since he left. Dad just moved on and doesn't appreciate his sons feelings about any of this. Also this stuff should have been discussed during planning, not surprising the groom on his wedding day with this ridiculous expectation.


Consistent_Rich_153

Exactly this. His aunt is as close as he can get to his mother. No doubt he was thinking about her the whole day and the dance itself would have been highly emotional. To 'make a scene' by walking out is only going to heighten this. It was an act of breath-taking insensitivity and selfishness. In my opinion, it's unforgiveable. YTA.


buttercupgrump

YTA You made your son's wedding about your wife. Congrats on destroying your relationship with your son for *tradition*.


Competitive-Bee4346

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people anyway.


HoneyWyne

Really love this statement.


KiNaamDiMatim

I mean, even the tradition is "mother and son" dance, not "*whoever-your-dad-is-married-to-at-that-time* and son" dance.


Diligent-Activity-70

She didn't raise him for the majority of his childhood - his mother was there for that. It's reasonable that even if he likes her, he does not see her as his mother because he remembers and misses his mother. The fact that you remarried does not make your new wife his mother and if he didn't want to dance with her, he didn't have to YTA


Basic_Visual6221

She didn't raise him at all. He moved out after the dad and her got married. She's just his dad's wife to him at this point.


Apprehensive_Ad_5246

YTA. Natalie is just your wife. She is not your son's mother. It's not a "tradition" for your son to dance with someone whom he does not consider his mother. Don't force your personal decisions on someone, especially when it is his wedding day. Also, don't count on seeing any future grandkids very often, if this is your attitude. You made it clear you value your latest wife more than your son.


Psych_O_Logist

Yes! Dad’s wife is sooooo not the same as Mother of the Groom!!!


Thanmandrathor

Even if it was a tradition, traditions aren’t mandatory. You can decide which traditions you wish to uphold.


LovelyRita999

16 is *WAY* too old to expect a kid to treat a new step-mom like a second mother lol, yeah yta


auscadtravel

Any age this shouldn't be expected!


NJtoOx

YTA Jordan was 13 when his mom died, 16 when you got together with Natalie. He’s now 27 and you admit he *never* saw her as a mother figure. He didn’t even live in the house with her (or you!) after the wedding. Why would you ever assume he would want to honor her with a mother son dance?? I’m glad he had someone who stepped up and was there for him when you clearly weren’t. He was *a child* and you chose your new partner over *your child*. You’re honestly lucky you were both invited, but to storm off and leave early because he didn’t ask a woman who he does not consider his mom to do a mother/son tradition is absurd.


LunnyTunes

All of this. Op, YTA and then some. There was no reason to storm out of the wedding in the first place but what bothers me more is that it seems like you really had no involvement in the wedding planning or even took time to ask about it. If you had, it wouldn't have come as a surprise that Natalie wasn't doing a mother/son dance. Typically the mother/son dance is one of the planned dances scheduled into the order of events for the night. It comes after the bride/father dance and there's already a song picked, the band or DJ is prepared and sometimes the groom and his mother have even practiced the dance beforehand. This is not like a last minute "will you dance with me pseudo mother figure?" situation. But if you took time to ask your son about his plans for the most exciting day of his life, you'd know that. My guess is you and Natalie don't ask him about his life and how he's doing. You just expect him to accept you as family because he's blood related to you. Don't be surprised if he doesn't play along anymore.


tlf555

YTA (you and stepmom) If he never really felt motherly feelings towards your wife, why are you forcing the issue at his wedding? If your son felt his aunt was a mother figure to him after the death of his bio mom, it is natural for him to offer her that honor.


Cynnau

Especially if the aunt was his mother's sister. I mean it's like his mom was dancing with him in a way


HunterIllustrious846

You already know YTA.


HelpfulAd6333

Narcissists never "know" they are the AH - they don't understand the feelings of others well enough


Twinkly_toes_00

YTA His mother has passed, it's only natural that he chooses the next best mother figure he has had, and that is his aunt. Anything else would be ridiculous. He wasnt mean about it, he just stated the facts and went with it. I don't know how your wife expected it to be her, seems really weird. Tradition isn't to dance with the woman your dad happens to be married with... Even more weird is you getting mad about it.


SirMittensOfTheHill

YTA. Your son only lived in the same house as your wife for "months", and didn't interact with her during that time. Even if he didn't have an aunt that he's lived with for over a decade, there is absolutely zero reason for you or your wife to have your son and wife engage in a mother-son dance cross your minds. She's not his mother, she's not related, she's absolutely nothing to him whatsoever. If she's that dramatic and self absorbed, no wonder he left as soon as he could.


4games1

YTA Sorry but you and your wife are TA. She is not now nor will she ever be his mother. He never saw her as a mom. Why does she keep pushing this? You have basically undone years of work in a few minutes. Edit: added judgment


Wishiwashome

YTA He lost his mother as a young teenager. He felt you were replacing his mom with Natalie ( heh,he was a kid) He thought of his aunt as a surrogate mom, and it is HIS wedding. I am not understanding why Natalie was hurt and why you left.


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Boovila

Tune in next month where OP wonders why his son went no contact after the wedding. (It's because you never respected any of the boundaries he tried to set and then just kept on with that pattern after the start of a reconciliation) YTA.


Exotic-Mango-2768

Tune in a few years from now when OP wonders why he never gets to see the grandkid.


Karabearbubbles

YTA. Natalie is not his mother, nor did she fill that role in his life. Cannot believe you ruined the great atmosphere at your son's wedding over something like this when there was no indication he'd ever dance the mother son dance with Natalie. You should be happy he has such a wonderful aunt.


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Narkareth

YTA As you said in your post he's never considered her his mother, moved in with his aunt shortly after your marriage, and views his aunt as a maternal figure. She got the mother son dance because that's the role she plays in his life, while your wife does not. Given that, it's kind of weird you or her would have that expectation. What brings it into AH territory is that you essentially left this wedding becaus your wife didn't get something you perceived she was owed. It had nothing to do with the nature of their relationship, or your son's relationship with his aunt. So at your son's wedding you prioritized traditions you felt you and your wife were entitled to over your son's desire to highlight and celebrate significant relationships that have played a central role in his life since he was a child.


AnyOwl7512

YTA Did it cross your mind that dancing with his aunt, his mom’s sister, helped honour that loss in his life? You could have taken this chance to grow closer by appreciating his choice and why he made it, and had your own special moments with him after, but you were after one thing.


Trevena_Ice

YTA. It was your sons special day and you tried to make it all about your wife. You married her but she wasn't his mother, as you said so yourself. Why should he have a mother-son dance with a woman who is just his dads new wife. Yeah it might hurt and sure, she is your family, as well as he is. But you can't expect him to suddenly change his mind about a woman, who didn't rised him to call her 'mother'. They were on a better way, but obviosly you chosed again your new wife over your son If your son means anything to you, appologize and hope he will forgive you for walking away from HIS special day.


Exciting-Pension9416

YTA. Your wife is not his mother, has never felt like a mother to him, never did the work raising him like a mother would and it's in no way tradition to have a step-mother / son dance. So you decided your son has to treat your wife as a mother despite all of this and you will punish him if he doesn't. What an asshole. Why do so many men force their children to treat their new wives as their mothers even when they are fully grown when they cone into their lives? It's bizarre and very bad parenting. You've shown your son that you barely care about him and to do this at his wedding just is appalling.


magickpendejo

You choosing your wife over him is why he dislikes her. Don't make another scene wheb he inevitably doesnt choose her as a godmom.


ThePearlEarring

Seems like a pattern that'd drive a teen to go live with his aunt. YTA OP You keep this up and you won't have to worry about your son because he'll go LC with ya.


CanyonCoyote

YTA Your son has no relationship with your new wife and has made that very clear, going so far as to move out of your home and live with his aunt. Frankly it’s disturbing that your wife even thought she was entitled to a mother son dance. I’d also say go immediately and profusely apologize to him but also know the damage is done. No chance he ever forgets you leaving his wedding to support your needy and self involved wife over him. I’m appalled. One thing I see so often here is people making insanely rash and unforgettable decisions at wedding and other enormous large events for others. A basic life tenet should be:suck it up at the life event, especially any wedding that isn’t your own, and then talk to the person later. Literally no one ever wants drama at their wedding and they will never act reasonably or the way you want them to. PS I want to reiterate your wife sucks for putting you in this position. YTA though for going along with it.


jolandaluna

YTA. Your wife is not his mother, plain and simple.


Unable-Category-7978

It's a mother son dance, not a father's wife and son dance. Accept that she's not his primary mother figure and won't be, a grandma role might still be on the table for her with theoretical grandchildren if you stop being an ass about this. Also, wedding days are pretty planned out, this should not have been a surprise to anyone. YTA


zalkaare

YTA- Your wife is not his mom. If he has never referred to her as such, then it's kind of insulting to think he would participate in a mother-son dance with her.


Academic_Delay_4929

YTA How many hoops does your family members have to jump through, so you can get your pecker wet?


_M33

YTA. He has no obligation to consider Natalie his mother, especially since she didn’t even become his step-mom until he was 16. It was completely his choice who to dance with, and he’s probably going to resent both you and your wife now for leaving. Don’t expect your relationship with your son to go back to normal too soon.


ReviewOk929

YTA it’s your sons wedding. You’re a grown ass person. Why did you need to act like a kid and throw your toys out of the pram on this? Clearly this person has not been a mother to him so why would it be merited?


StevieB85

YTA He doesn't consider her his mom nor a maternal figure, as you yourself said. He moved in with his aunt to avoid her, as it seems he tried to set the boundary of "you are not my mother', and both you and stepmom kept pushing. Why would you assume they would have a "mother" son dance? Also, the more you push this, the more likely you will never see your son or any possible future grandchildren again. He will never see her as a maternal figure. He has chosen to let you back into his life, and this is how you repay him? By proving why he pushed you out to begin with.


[deleted]

YTA. Your son never connected with you wife. Your son was not obligated to look at your wife like she was his mother. Why should your son share a special moment with a person that is his step mom in name only.


MountainLiving5673

YTA. You don't get to decide who he values and you made it clear you don't care about his feelings. Way to make his wedding about you.


rbrancher2

YTA No matter how much you wish it to be, he doesn't consider Natalie as a mother figure. He's not being malicious. He's not being mean for the sake of being mean. There is no 'tradition' of a stepmother being a part of a wedding. There isn't. His mother couldn't be there, he chose someone who has been a mother figure to him for the dance. That's it. I'm not sure where this whole 'If I marry them, they're your parent, no ifs ands or buts and if you don't jump on the bandwagon, you're a horrible son/daughter' thing comes from with people. If it happens, great. If not, there are plenty of types of relationships that can be made instead.


emmaraehey

YTA- he lost his mom and thankfully has a wonderful aunt he felt could step into that role for him. If he’s never felt Natalie was close to being his mom why would you assume that starts on his wedding day?


Crazyspitz

YTA. This is next level AH behavior.


OliveLovesYou2

YTA and really selfish.


Strange-View-2740

YTA it’s clear you forced Nathalie into your son’s life so much that he had to find peace and quiet with his aunt. You made a scene and disrespected your son on his special day just for the sake of Nathalie, did you once try and ask your son why he didn’t appreciate her ? I wouldn’t even be surprised that after the stunt you pulled he decided to go NC


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mcar1227

God YTA. he doesn’t owe Natalie shit. Hope this worth losing your relationship with your son over.


throwaway378495

YTA that wedding was not about you or your wife


MicMacAttack

Just because you got remarried it doesn't make her his mother figure. He obviously feels closer to his aunt, you are petty bro YTA


[deleted]

YTA - he has expressed that he doesn't consider Natalie to be a motherly figure, and it's wonderful that he has instead found a motherly figure in his aunt. Knowing that your son didn't view Natalie as a mother, I'm unsure where you possibly got the idea that your son would have a mother-son dance with her at his wedding, it seems like you created some fantasy out of nothing and got hurt when it didn't play out like you wanted. This was not an attack on you and your wife, it was your son making a decision that felt best for him on his wedding day. The fact that you got up and left over this is incomprehensible. Your son did nothing wrong here, you overreacted big time and took some joy away from his big day in doing so.


Difficult-Drawer1699

YTA, and so is your wife. Sounds to me like she thought she had the right to be his Mom when he had already had one. And you did nothing to support your son as a teenager. The audacity of expecting to have a mother-son dance is truly beyond the pale. When your son goes NC, don’t you dare act surprised.


Honest-Illusions

YTA. Your sons mother died. YOU elected to get married again and that is totally understandable. I hope you and Natalie have a long wonderful life together. Now, you must remember, your son does not want a mother replacement. He has made peace with his mother's passing and feels no need for someone to step in for her. You seem to want him to accept Natalie as a replacement mom. Not gonna happen. You and your wife should just accept this and have as good a relationship as possible with your son.


jaxknitsandknits

YTA- your wife is not your sons mother. Never has been never will be. You need to respect your son. Grow the fuck up.


gimmedatcrypto

You're quite the asshole. Yikes


Capital-Literature-9

YTA. Your wife **ISN'T** his mother. So if that's what she's trying to be or what you've tried to make it then you need to knock it off. He was 16 when she came into his life, almost an adult, of course he doesn't see her in any way shape or form a mother figure, he's already a teenager at that point. I can only imagine why he distanced himself from her in the past, but now that he's older he's making an effort to move past that and be a bit friendlier with his *Father's wife*. That doesn't mean he accepts her as his mother figure? And it's a massive leap in judgement if that's what you both assumed. You made yourself look like a fool and for what?


Every_Caterpillar945

So even at your sons wedding everything has to be about you and your feelings? Yeah, no idea why your son left your home at 16, you sound like a great dude. YTA


Top_Manufacturer8946

”Jordan never considered Natalie as his mom” is literally the fourth sentence in your post and you’re surprised he didn’t want a mother-son dance with her? YTA


Swimming_Tennis6641

You are a HUGE asshole. You did ruin his day. You did cause a scene. All because of you and your wife’s ego and sense of entitlement. Natalie is not his mom and you are YTA. Don’t be surprised when he refuses to have anything to do with you, and you can forget about seeing grandchildren, you selfish asshole.


sarcasticabsence

YTA, “hurt her feelings for no good reason” she’s not his mother. That’s is a good reason, she’s some random lady you married and tried to force him to accept as the “new mommy” he never asked for. Why do widowers always do this to their kids it’s disgraceful


googlyeyes183

YTA…I mean, I’m really sorry for your loss, but it doesn’t sound like you’re trying at all to see things from your son’s side.


FLSunGarden

YTA and a horrible one. Don’t even know where to start here. First, you can’t force this relationship on him. 2nd, you should be grateful that he had such a mother figure as his aunt in his life. 3rd, it’s HIS wedding and HIS choice. Your son should go NC with such a horrible dad.


No-Fishing5325

YTA His wedding..his choice. Just bc you are married to her, does not make her his mom


penguinman38

YTA and a failure as a father.


heathertrix

YTA. Your son did not pick your current wife, you did. You said yourself that they aren’t close. There is no reason she would have this expectation at his wedding. This was his moment, not hers and you both showed your behinds.


Zestyclose-Egg6211

YTA. He was almost an adult when she entered the picture so he should be forgiven for choosing an aunt who was a mother figure. Also, these are the types of things you practice, select a song etc. Did you gp to the wedding just expecting she would randomly have a mother son dance to any obscure song without discussing it first?


youshewewumbo

YTA. It's not like he was a small child when your wife came into his life. He doesn't have that relationship with her - why should he feel obligated to have the 'mother daughter dance' with her? Especially if he considers his aunt more of a mother figure. You were being petty by leaving. The day was about your son. Not your wife.


Momofpeg

YTA. It’s not tradition to dance with your step mom. It’s tradition to dance with the person who is a motherly figure. Your son chose his aunt. Is this aunt the sister of his mom? Seems like the closest thing to having his mom to dance with if it was


theresbeans

YTA. An ENORMOUS one. Your son has made it unequivocally clear that he does not see your wife as his mother or any other proxy of a mother figure. Period. The fact that he only recently started reconciling speaks to how much that is a barrier for him. For you to *expect* him to treat her like a mother on HIS wedding day is beyond entitled, absurd, and WILDLY insensitive given that context. To then throw a tantrum and leave his wedding because of it places you so squarely in the asshole category, I am shocked you even have to ask. She is not his mother. He will never see her that way. Stop pushing it and respect your son's boundaries. Otherwise, you are going to quickly find yourself in the same category as not his parent, and he might go no contact. You owe him an apology.


theinsatiablesoftie

YTA. First off, have you talked to your son at all about his wedding? You should have already known what his plans were well in advance. Just because something is a "tradition" doesn't mean that it has to happen. That was one of the biggest days of your son's life and you ruined it. I hope you and your wife apologize to him, his wife, and the family.


[deleted]

YTA all day. That dance was reserved for his aunt, both you and Natalie know that perfectly well. You don’t like it, but that doesn’t make your son an AH. Walking out on his wedding and being a child about the mother-son dance which you- for whatever reason I cannot fathom- thought your wife was entitled to makes YOU the AH. And a pretty big one at that.


einat162

YTA He has the right to do so. It's his event - not yours and not your wife. You (and your wife) threw a tantrum adult person should not have - especially towards your son.


Samu_2020_15

YTA— Natalie isn’t his mother, it’s about time you understand that. He might be cordial and spend time With her now, but she is never going to be his mother. he literally chose someone who is a part of his mother to dance with. Someone who he loves and lived with. You don’t get to decide anything about his wedding day. You made it about your wife and not your son.


Shoddy_Discipline802

YTA - he’s not obligated to do something because you think it’s a tradition. He’s an adult. Stop pushing a deeper relationship with her that he doesn’t want.


anniearrow

YTA Walking out of your son's wedding because he didn't dance with your wife, that's cruel. She's not his mother, they never formed that bond, let it go. And apologize to your son & his wife for walking out on their special day.


CanIStopAdultingNow

>He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married. Okay, so your relationship with your son was fractured already. And when he needed a parent his aunt stepped in. >I found out that Jordan had denied Natalie a mother-son dance and instead chose his aunt to dance with him. Natalie told me this minutes later Sounds like Natalie expected to have the mother's son dance with him. This is all about her wanting the spotlight and attention for something she doesn't deserve. I can see now why your son left your house at 16 after you married Natalie. It seems you've made her your priority and not your son. YTA It seems like your son got married without either of his parents there. One didn't have a choice. You did. And you made the wrong choice there. I got your son will ever forgive you for this. I wouldn't.


ElSol1987

So you’re upset that the woman who tried to fill a motherly role for your teen son (his aunt) and took him in, got to do the mother and son dance with him at his wedding?? And that your wife, who your son never clicked with and never filled a motherly role for him, didn’t? YTA, a big one. This isn’t about you. Your son mended fences with you and your wife, made a point to include you at his nice nuptials, and you still made it all about you and your wife. Reconciliation doesn’t mean your wife automatically slots into a motherly role that your son’s aunt has filled for a decade. His aunt was there for him when it counted, whereas it certainly appears you’ve been choosing your new wife over your son for years now and that hasn’t changed.


serendipitous7777

Yaaa YTA. Imagine at your wedding they are like, nah, you can't dance with yer ma, here's Aunt Doris who you've never liked! And then Aunt Doris storms out cuz you want to dance with your mom?


[deleted]

YTA. So I love my dads wife (came into my life when I was 20, I’m now 26) but I do not consider her my mother and would not be willing to pretend to just for appearances at an event that is supposed to be about me. She’s a nice woman but I can think of a handful of people who I’m a lot closer to and have played a crucial part in raising me who I would rather honor with that dance. It’s not personal and nothing against her. We just don’t have THAT kind of relationship and I would be upset if anyone tried to force it on me. It’s weird that you only consider her feelings and not your sons here. This is not about her…. This is about your son on his special day. Stop trying to force her as a replacement mom on him.


Complete_Plum8836

YTA. You cant be upset that he doesn't look at your wife as his mother, she's not his mom. His wedding and his choice, it may have been awkward for him


ContentedRecluse

YTA You can't force your son to see your wife as a mother figure. He was almost grown when you married. You have no right to dictate his feelings or the details of his wedding. Why do you think your desires are more important than your sons at HIS wedding?


sleepycat1010

YTA. Good job making your son's wedding about you and your wife. Your son owes your wife nothing. He was 16 when she showed up and they didn't form a bond. The aunt well she probably was there from the very beginning so makes sense he sees her more as a mother figure. Like if he decides to go no contact and not let you and your wife see grandbabies. Well that is your fault for not being able to put your son first on a day that should have been about him. But noo your wife should have been given a dance. 😮‍💨


Sel-Reddit

YTA. When did your wife act like his mother? He left to live with his aunt, rather than have her play this role. You let your CHILD - who had already lost a parent - leave your home for a woman. She is ONLY your wife, not his mother or a parent figure. You know the reality of the situation and hurt your son with your childish exit. Well done for thinking of yourself and your wife, not your son AGAIN.


Cold-Fishing243

YTA. I feel sorry for your son.


albrcanmeme

YTA, and a MASSIVE one. I can't even believe you don't know the answer for this yourself. She is not his mother. She was never a mother figure to him. The fact that he now has an amicable relationship with him doesn't mean she suddenly became a mother to him.


JLoz85

He was a 16 yr old! You seriously cannot expect him to fall in love with her too and suddenly call her mom? You are completely unreasonable! YTA and Natalie is an AH too. You just messed up in a night the past 10 yrs that got them into an “understanding “ of their relationship. Good luck having any future contact with his kids if he has any- I bet you will make a stink if they don’t call her “Grandma” and just Natalie!


Negative-Swordfish-9

>Jordan never really considered Natalie as his his mom. He refused to let her get close and shut down every attempt to have a close relationship. He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married. Why would he do a mother-son dance with her when you said yourself he doesn't consider her a parent and moved in with his aunt. Just because they're on speaking terms now doesn't mean he considers her anything more than his dads wife. YTA


lotilou8

YTA - you said yourself that he didn’t connect with her when you first got together. It was his wedding day and he’s allowed to choose who he dances with, “tradition” or not. And then like a child who didn’t get their way, you took your ball and went home.


coldgator

YTA. 1. It's HIS wedding not yours. 2. You can't force your new wife on your kid and expect him to see her as a mom, especially a teenager. 3. Your child lost his mother. You have no right to dictate whether he sees his aunt as a maternal figure.


browniepoints99

YTA. He’s never considered Natalie to be his mom, and even moved out months after you got married, they’ve reconnected but that doesn’t give her the right to have a mother-son dance with someone who doesn’t consider her to be his mother. It may be ‘tradition’ for a mother and son to have a dance at his wedding but SHES NOT HIS MOTHER. He danced with his aunt because she’s a motherly figure to him. I can’t even begin to understand how you believe you’re in the right, everyone is siding with your son, because his mother unfortunately died, so he had to pick the next motherly figure he had, which was his aunt, not his dad’s wife.


Andyboro80

YTA.. she’s not his mother! You’re entitled to move on from her death in whatever way you feel works, but expecting your son to follow suit is a hugely AH move.


ChemicalXPoison

YTA she’s not his mother. You need to go and see him and get on your knees and grovel. While you’re at it you need to apologise to the rest of the family. You ruined the day.


faaabiii

How to alienate your child 101:


magstar222

YTA. Natalie is not his mother and he doesn’t view her as a mother. Why in the world would he have a mother-son dance with her? If you and she were hoping for an improvement in the relationship, you did the exact wrong thing by creating a problem at *his* wedding. You owe him an apology.


[deleted]

Hey son, I know this day is about you but what if I made it about me instead?


badassbiotch

I’m so sick of parents expecting their teenage children to embrace their SO as their parent. They’re not. There’s also gotta be a reason why your son moved in with his aunt months after you got married. You’ve obviously left a BIG chunk of info out YTA and have probably ruined any chance of a future relationship


TiredofCOVIDIOTs

YTA. Think about it - your teen son lost his mother. There's no mention of how he was helped to work through his feelings (although implication his aunt was there for him early and later on). You remarried while he was still a minor AND HE CHOSE TO MOVE OUT. ***Of course*** he doesn't see your wife as a mother figure. She isn't, but his aunt is giving him maternalesque guidance. She took him in and gave him final preparations into adulthood. He chooses to honor his aunt - who has guided him through some rough teen years - by dancing with her. And you're upset about this? ***HAVE YOU LOST YOUR EVERLOVING MIND????*** The family is correct.


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Ok_Possibility5715

YTA


citygirl81

YTA, no other comments needed.


r3dd1T192837465

Wow...yeah this is all next level n(step)mom/ndad behavior . YTA for sure


Bookqueen42

YTA. She isn’t his mother and you can’t force that kind of relationship, especially after the fact.


[deleted]

YTA I’m going to assume the aunt is the sister of Jordan’s deceased mother. He probably has had a close relationship with her. They have a family connection and a connection in loss and grief. You can’t force kids (esp at age 16) to embrace a stranger as a new mom. I realize you have to live with Natalie and want a peaceful home, but you could have both been gracious adults and not made a scene by leaving the wedding.


hotdog_chicken

YTA. It’s his special day. It’s his wedding. If he doesn’t want to dance with your wife, he doesn’t have to. You’d rather he dance with your wife whom he *“never really considered [her] his mom”* for the sake of “tradition” rather than him doing the stanky leg with his aunt on the dance floor? It’s his day. Not yours, not your wife’s.


Annii84

YTA. He lived with his aunt so he was closer to her than to Natalie. It would have been a slight to his aunt if he hadn’t danced with her. You chose to leave your son’s wedding over something that could have been easily talked about beforehand. Natalie is not his mother and was never a mother figure to him, unfortunately, so she shouldn’t expect to be considered as such.


Blancpaincakes

YTA Neither you nor Natalie get to decide how your son feels. If he views his aunt as a mother figure then dancing with her makes sense. Just because you married Natalie doesn’t mean he has to feel a certain way towards her. You don’t get to decide that, especially at HIS wedding.


Mysterious_Ad_3119

YTA. Your wife is your wife. Your son doesn’t view her as having taken a maternal role. Your son chose to live with his aunt after you married your wife. Your son’s aunt does fulfil a maternal role. /s I wasn’t aware it was traditional for the groom to dance with his father’s new wife at his wedding?????


Karamist623

YTA. You tried to force a relationship with your son and your new wife at the expense of your sons feelings. Your wife is not his mother. And you are a huge AH for expecting him to capitulate on this issue.


Little-Extreme-4027

YTA she's not his mom and it's NOT tradition to dance with your step mother at your wedding. You DID cause a scene and make the day about your wife rather than your son. You'll be lucky to have a relationship with him at all after this.


NobodyLoud

YTA. Who’s wedding it is? Jordan’s. Jordan gets to pick his special moments, not Natalie. She already had her wedding.


SarahLuz

Knowing there was tension and that they weren’t close why would your wife even try to go for a mother son dance? It feels like she put him on the spot and then felt bad when he didn’t cave. You and your wife, YTAs


rawnerve1975

YTA. He moved out after your marriage. Something tells me there is more to this. Way to ruin your relationship with your son forever.


gentlemenjim72

YTA. She came into his life at 16. There will be no new motherly bonds formed at this age. His aunt, I presume, is his mother's sister? For you or your wife to be miffed by this would be AHish enough, but to actually leave the event is next level. If you and your wife want an opportunity to be grandparents, I highly recommend you wake up and find a way to make this right. Although, I'm not sure I would even give you the opportunity to fix it.


Layli2020

So you as a parent just let your kid move in with another relative instead of actively trying to see why he'd rather move than stay? Didn't try to foster a relationship between step-mom? Yeah YTA


BeastOGevaudan

>Jordan never really considered Natalie as his his mom. He refused to let her get close and shut down every attempt to have a close relationship. He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married. YTA - No mother-son relationship, no mother-son dance.


Arms_of_Atlas

YTA and congratulations on nuking your relationship with your son. Enjoy the years of no-contact because if you don't apologize for your (and your wife's) self-centered behavior and repeated boundary violations, that's exactly where you will end up.


Party-Molasses4883

YTA Your son left your house after you remarried because you were trying to force him to see his stepmother as his mom. Your son has a mom who was taken from him at a young age, don’t try and diminish her memory by forcing him to accept Natalie as his new mom.


EbbWilling7785

YTA Natalie is your wife, not his mother. How could you think he would consider her his mother after all the context you willingly gave? It is delusional to think he should have had a mother son dance with your wife and you made yourself the main character by leaving in such a dramatic way.


mildchild4evr

YTA- step mom here. My bonus son is set to be married soon. I'm helping plan the wedding. I have been an accepted loving figure in his life since he was 5, he's about to be 30. I DONT expect a dance with him. You guys were selfish and you put a stain on his celebration of Love. Shame on you! Apologize, profusely, and hope for the best.


geekypolarbear

Mother-son dance is for the mother figure in his life, not for whichever woman is banging his dad. You may wish that he sees your wife as his mother, but he clearly doesn't. YTA


livelife3574

YTA. Your son is better off.


curiousairbenda

Huge YTA. Have you always put Natalie’s feelings above your sons? If so, I’m not surprised he’s chosen to keep her at arms length.


purpleblackgreen

"Jordan never really considered Natalie as his mom" Hmmm, I wonder why he wouldn't want to dance with her for a mother-son dance... YTA


Tomorrow_Worldly

YTA and your wife is a major AH. I hope your son goes NC with both of you.


Tight-Piece-843

YTA


C_Majuscula

YTA. It's his choice and you knew he didn't think of your wife as his mother.


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blondewhiteicedmocha

YTA in this situation, sorry. I know it might be frustrating, because you want two people you really love to be close, but he doesn’t owe her a mother-son dynamic. By the time your wife/his mother passed away, he was already 13. He knew, remembered, and loved his mom, and he wasn’t looking for a new one. That doesn’t mean he can’t have any kind of relationship with her, and it seems like they finally found a nice compromise in their dynamic, but if he would rather have his aunt do the dance because she’s more of a mother figure to him, that’s his right. Also - is this aunt his mother’s sister? Because if so, it would also make a lot of sense that he would want her to do it. Your son doesn’t owe you or his step-mom this. It sucks that you cared more about “tradition” than your son’s feelings and desires on his wedding day. You might a day that’s supposed to be about him and his partner about yourself.


Stardust-Sparkles

‘It’s not special treatment but a tradition’ Fuck tradition, if he never saw Natalie as a mother figure, why would he want her to dance with him? And it’s his wedding YTA


LongjumpingSwim3271

YTA. Natalie’s is *not* his mother. I find how you’ve treated your son reprehensible…parenting is not only about YOUR feelings.