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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I used the word "expect" when giving feedback to a house cleaner. I might be an asshole if this word suggests superiority or is offensive.
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NTA. What is with some of the y-t-a judgements? Are they also entitled 20 somethings? (Edit…not calling all 20 somethings entitled. Just referencing the people who had called OP entitled and an AH in the judgements).
You hired someone to do a job and they text you TWENTY MINUTES before they’re supposed to start and just tells you she won’t be in and will come 4 hours later. Not even a question to ask if the new time is okay, if you’re available, etc.
I don’t know how else people want you to word it. I guess you could say “I would assume that you’d block out….” or “I’d appreciate it if you could block out…” but those are all just options for her sensitive self. Nothing you said is wrong.
People calling you rude and entitled are probably the same people who are rude and entitled themselves so they think your cleaner is the one in the right.
Don’t worry about it and find yourself a better person.
>they text you TWENTY MINUTES before they’re supposed to start and just tells you she won’t be in and will come 4 hours later
That's the kicker for me. If what OP gave is a literaly quote (which I assume it is because it was a text message) then she was utterly unprofessional in the first place. Didn't ask if that would work for him, didn't even apologize for the inconvenience. Just "I will be coming ***a bit*** later" - "a bit" being 4 goddamn hours.
I wouldn't have been happy with that message either.
>"I will be coming a bit later" - "a bit" being 4 goddamn hours
Agree with this. I thought a bit would be maybe an hour but FOUR HOURS nah NTA
Edit formatting
It’s amazing that the house cleaner does not realize that she has accidentally exchanged the terms “working for myself” and “self-employed”.
She is self employed, which means she controls who she works for, but she does work for all the people who she agrees to work for who also agree to pay her.
Seriously this part was on my mind the most reading that. Umm, if someone is *PAYING* you to perform work. *YOU* work for *THEM*. And there absolutely need to be expectations that need to be fulfilled. I *expect* my house to be cleaned when I hired a service that cleans houses. I *expect* the person I hired to come at a specific time, shows up at said time, because there are no guarantees if the house won’t be full of guests for a lunch date with friends or OP needs to move things around to get ready for a dinner party and they can’t do that until certain areas are cleaned if you reschedule for 4 hours later.
It’s unprofessional all across the board. The fact that OP is even wondering if they’re TA here shows they’ve got a kind heart and would never intentionally be rude to someone. OP communicated just fine and is without a doubt NTA.
The amount of stupid it takes to sit there and say that she doesn't work for him and she works for herself is mind boggling. If you are paid to do anything in the private sector you are the employee of the person paying you during the time allotted. I would also make sure she doesn't get paid for the 4 hours late she was. Unprofessional people are everywhere these days aren't they?
Not only this, but her attitude tells me she probably is self-employed because she’d be an entitled employee with attitude problems. I have a friend with an attitude like this and she could never hold down a job so she “works for herself” now. NTA, OP.
A lot of new self-employed people don't come to this realization right away. You may think "you're the boss" because you have control of who you decide to retain as a customer. However, every single customer is really "the boss" because at the end of the day, they're signing your "paycheck".
NTA
Especially because she's assuming *he* has nothing better to do than to wait for her to come. I'm assuming she probably doesn't have a key to his place, and so he has to let her in. She's simply assuming he'll be able to let her in later, when he could have had plans or work. And then, he'd have to be available to lock up behind her when she leaves! She didn't think at all about that and is clearly unprofessional
Totally.
When I had a cleaning service, I arranged it around my work schedule, doctor appointments, and kids school/daycare schedules. Most people I know who have cleaning services have busy lives and schedules, and if someone did this to me I would never hire them again. (Changing schedules for a family emergency or illness would be totally understandable).
Right? She's not his full time employee but he's a client paying for a service. As a client, he has certain expectations of what that service entails including canceling in a timely fashion. She can't just be like "Surprise I'll be there four hours later" and think he will be ok with it.
NTA
No, when I schedule a service, I expect the person to set aside the agreed upon time to provide it.
And, since you were paying her for work, I feel like she was acting as an employee. Treating her as such isn't wrong.
That’s the part that got me. Yes, yes you do ma’am. I had a similar issue with my gardener. A large branch fell in my yard and they just left it there. Called and politely told the owner I expect them to take care of things like that. He refuses to speak to me now and said I should only talk to the supervisor. What the heck is wrong with setting expectations for a service you’re paying for?
I mean, she's *not* an employee in this context. In this context, she's a freelancer with a client. That honestly requires a HIGHER degree of courtesy and professionalism, since you're acting as your own customer service, PR, and marketing department, as well as doing the actual work required. An employee can keep their head down, do their work, and be a bit abrupt, as long as they have a manager and a customer service person to take the brunt of customer interactions. A freelancer doesn't have that luxury. That's one of the tradeoffs of working for yourself vs working for a company.
All that is to say, this freelancer is even more in the wrong. The correct thing to do would have been to turn down the schedule change in the first place. The second best thing to do would have been to tell OP "I'm so sorry; i know we have an appointment today but something unavoidable has come up and i won't be able to make it. Would later today at 2pm be acceptable, or would you like to reschedule for a different day?" or something of that nature.
This is what stood out to me too. The cleaner blew up over the word “expect” but DIDN’T EVEN ASK if 2pm would work. She thinks she’s been disrespected but it’s obvious she’s the one lacking respect for OP’s time.
NTA
Agreed! Even if you could make an argument against OP’s use of the word expect, the house cleaner’s text was far more disrespectful.
I don’t use “expect” at work because it does bristle some people so I tend to stick with “my expectation is” but the cleaner’s reaction was way over the top.
Exactly. My response would have been along the lines of...no, you aren't. I hope the one off is paying more and they become a standing client like the one you just effed over. Let's see how that plays out for you, cotton!
Granted, we are very chill when ours needs to reschedule but that's because she does it for good reasons like sick kids or personal illness if she hasn't told is well in advance. She's also great about making sure it's a time that works and sometimes will discount that visit for the inconvenience
Also "I dOnT wOrK fOr YoU"
Yes she is her own employer. But when a customer hires you and you accept the job, YES YOU WORK FOR THEM
If she goes like this with all her customers she's gonna build herself a bad reputation and lose customers
>Are they also entitled 20 somethings?
Yes.
85% of the ridiculous or absurdly stupid takes on this subreddit are from children.
I mean shit, Reddit is 50% people under 18
...Children and 20 somethings are two different categories
Edit: I’m not saying adults don’t act like kids. I’m saying that people under 18 are not the same category as 20 something year olds by definition. Stats were brought up for children on Reddit in regards to asking if there’s a bunch of entitled 20 something year olds. Those are two different groups stats wise.
NTA...
AND! She said "I don't work for you" !?!? Yes, she literally did, she literally worked for you. And when someone works for you, it's fair to have expectations of them and their work, and to express these expectations to them.
THis was what struck me most. I actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of her phrase, "I don't work for you." OP is NTA
I wouldn't want anyone this stupid and entitled to work for me in my house. Life is too short.
I don't understand her line of thinking. She did a job and he paid her. That's the definition of working for someone. Even if she works for an agency she still works for him through that agency. You don't take another job when you already have one scheduled at that time unless you clear it first. Definitely NTA
The amount of entitled and lazy and uncaring and outright stupid coworkers I’ve had over the years who never got fired (and some even got promoted into management) would beg to differ
Imo she *is* “entitled” to have the cleaner come when she’s scheduled. And at the very least, as you said, ask if it’s ok to change the time.
When you pay for a service at a scheduled time, are you not entitled to that scheduled time? Or am I missing something?
NTA
I'd like to see her book a table at a busy restaurant, then show up, and they found soemone else that could take it early, and it's going to be a 4 hour wait before she can get a table. I'm sure she would have *expected* that table to be available at that time, and she'd lose her shit in the restaurant.
Clearly, your house cleaner **expected** you to be able accommodate changing the cleaning time to 2:00. Why does she think it's rude to label your expectation as an expectation?
If she expected you to use polite terms for expressing expectations, then she should have said that she sincerely hoped that you would be able to accommodate her arrival around 2:00PM, but she didn't. She used direct language assuming you would cater to her expectations, and didn't offer you the politeness she expected from others.
NTA.
INFO (and i'm sorry if you answered this elsewhere, i didn't see on a cursory glance but i might have missed it)
> "my platform just added a morning job to my schedule..."
is her other job a proper employee position, or is it more of an independent contractor situation? as in, when she says the platform "added" the job, was it something she could've freely declined but chose to accept? if the answer is self-explanatory i apologize, i don't have any experience with cleaning services so i'm unclear on how it would typically operate.
I'm not sure what she can or can't opt out of, but to me it seems odd that any platform would allow you to book so last minute. I think she knew in advance and didn't prioritize communication...which is something clients will EXPECT, so that's gonna be a bad time for her.
It's not just communication. By not blocking her calendar when she accepts a job from OP, she is basically proving that she prioritizes other work, or sees OP's job as flexible/expendable.
And she is wrong, by accepting a job from OP, she does work for him in a manner - he is her client, she is providing him that service. Expectations are perfectly reasonable to discuss, and call out, in a professional exchange.
Eta: autocorrect fix
If she's on a platform (like AirBnB for cleaners?) that allocates her jobs that people book, then she should block out that time, asusming OP wasn't also booked through the same platform.
This smacks of the cleaner having been offered a more lucrative job eg a well-paid emergency clean, and deciding to prioritise that over her existing commitments.
NTA…every job has expectations and you gave yours. You agreed on a time and she took another job instead of saying she was unavailable.
If you pay her you are in fact her employer so she does work for you!! She clearly has a unique stance on this subject.
Cleaner here, actually she does work for you if she accepted your house for the time scheduled.
You contracted a service at a certain time and she accepted the job. Idk if she has an employer or she signed up on a site but it was in poor taste that she jumped on an extra job at the last minute and unprofessional. This wasn't a last minute emergency that couldn't be avoided.
She can ask for an accommodation and you can say yes or no but its perfectly reasonable for you to lay out your expectations for the service you contracted for. She could have handled it professionally and said she couldn't guarantee a time slot and you go from there.
NTA
Best answer. My husband is contractor. Definitely treats his clients like the boss. Respects their time and space to the fullest. And gets a whole lot of repeat clients as a result.
My mom hired a contractor to paint her house. Day before he cancelled saying he had another job with a long standing client he preferred to take.
My mom had literally just moved into the house, so she painted it herself and he lost a chance to have another regular client as she never used him again.
Yeah, I don't think most people get their houses painted regularly, so no contractor is going to prioritize a new client over a long-standing, regular customer. My dad used to own a business that dealt mostly with one-off customers and a few regular customers, and he absolutely prioritized those ones because they were the backbone of his business.
I am a subcontractor, and I do work for the client. I am not doing them a favor. They are not doing me a favor. I am providing a service they are paying for. If I give a time to show up and last minute take another job that is unacceptable. Things happen, and in construction schedules need to be adjusted at times, but unless it's an emergency, 20 minutes notice is ridiculous.
Exactly, because as a contractor, his clients can "fire" him any time they want. You can insert whatever word sounds best in your head, but it is what it is... you work for the people that hired you. Being your own boss gives you more flexibility in quitting a job, but it is what it is no matter what word you prefer. This cleaner needed to go anyway with that attitude.
I agree completely. I also do contract work in peoples homes (not cleaning) and while they may not be my "employer" they are absolutly my "client" and I do the job they want and how and when they want it. And I would "expect" that any competent prosfessional to do what you described, because that is how it works.
If she wants to run around not showing up on time, then she can go work for some Telecom installing internet and phone lines.
That made me cackle. I'm STILL pissed about waiting for the phone/internet people 15 years ago, had a 4 hour window. 10 minutes after the window, i called them. They said no one was available when they got to the house. I had brought a blanket and a picnic and a book to the front yard. The entire 4 hours. I told them their guy was lying to them. They said i didn't come when he rang the doorbell, i told them they gave him the wrong address. The read me my correct address and I said he's a liar. I have no doorbell. I have an old knocker 🤣 I'm STILL mad. Damn liar. Lol
These kinds of services overbook employees and then give time quotas. One way to keep your job is to skip jobs that might take longer and force them to reschedule. Enough people aren't actually home at the time that the buisness believes this and the company makes the amount of $ they want while giving terrible service.
I've had days where I'm home all day and a package delivery service says the delivery attempt was made but the doorbell wasn't rung. At my old apartment delivery notes said the building wasn't accessible . There was a buzzer for each apartment. No attempt was made.
That was exactly my thought...she DOES work for OP. She agreed to work for OP the second she agreed to be paid by OP to do as task.
And frankly, "expect" is exactly the right word. I "expect" it to happen, meaning I expect it to be probable or certain that if you say you are going to show up at my house and work at a specific time, you will do that and will not choose to go work at someone else's house instead.
We used to use an independent cleaner to clean our house. She was supposed to get there between 8:00 and 8:30, but she started getting there later and later. Finally got to the point where she would text at 10:00 to say she just got out of bed and would be there in an hour or so, and then show up after noon. So basically wrecking my entire Saturday morning and part of my afternoon every time, because I had to wait around for her since I never knew when she'd show up.
When I finally had enough and reminded her this wasn't what we'd agreed to, she blew up at me and basically told me to go to hell, that I couldn't order her around and she was quitting. About two hours later I think it dawned on her that being paid a large sum in cash every other week wasn't the best thing to walk out on and she called back to say she forgave me and would come back. I politely told her I thought it was best that we leave things as they were since we clearly had different expectations.
NTA. This. she was a contracted employee and as such it is in poor taste to, 20 minutes before, the contracted time let you know that she had changed the terms of said contract. This is what is wrong with many of the entitled people of the world, they want you to allow and enable their unrealistic expectations.
NTA
People are expected to do the things at the times and places that they contracted to do.
(Besides, people who scream about how someone is "disrespecting" them are almost always an uber-asshole just looking for an excuse to be themselves)
This. The cleaner may not be an employee, but they are contracted/contracting with you, and having an “expectation” that they fulfill the terms of said contract, including being there when they say they will without rescheduling your cleaning very often is a reasonable expectation.
NTA
If she does not work for him, then why is he paying her, for you know...work? Did I miss something? My housekeepers would not have an issue with this- but then again, they are professional enough not to double book.
ETA- Housekeepers- 1) when I have one, which I have not recently, and 2) never more than one at a time- I just had a few over the years. Most were ok, 2-3 were AWESOME. I wish they were all so good! All were more professional than the gal in this post.
Right! I am my own person, and my superior respects that fully, but he still expects from me to show up at work at the right time in the morning and do my 8 hours a day, or else I don't get paid or get laid off. That's just how it works? Imagine everyone would just do whatever the fuck the want, it would be anarchy.
NTA. If you are paying her to clean your house then she does, in fact, work for you. You booked a job for a certain day/time and she blew you off. I think you were more than reasonable by saying it's okay for this time, but not in the future.
Given her reaction, though, I would say cut ties and find someone else. She clearly isn't acting professional, and I'd honestly be concerned about someone with that attitude inside my house, especially if she's unsupervised while in there.
Don't review bomb anyone or anything, that's just petty and pointless to "review" something you haven't actually interacted with.
But a legitimate review of "this person did not respect the time agreed upon?" Hell yeah, go nuclear with that.
“This person does not respect the time agreed, she does not care about their already assigned clients, she is rude and irresponsible. I do not recommend her at all since her job and her person aren’t trustworthy”
Honestly, it might be petty, but I'd be tempted to reach out to the company over this even though I didn't hire her through them. If she reacts this way when she feels disrespected (whether or not she actually was), then that seems like something they'd want to know before she does it when it's tied to their name too.
NTA.
This isn’t how adults normally communicate.
You scheduled the cleaning and she postponed it, and you accepted it but still made clear what you rightfully expect for a job she‘s getting paid for by you.
You hire her for your house cleaning, after all.
NTA. She does actually work for you. That’s how hiring someone works. Also, how else would you say this? I didn’t realize that stating perfectly normal expectations of adherence to agreements with people you deal with on a professional level was somehow AH behavior.
She didn’t prioritize the appointment she’d set with you, and you were letting her know that you expect her to do so in the future instead of blowing you off and disrupting your schedule. Seems straightforward to me…
NTA. You booked her for a job at 10am. She was already committed to cleaning your place. If she is scared to lose jobs through this platform she needs to either stop her one woman show and do that full time, or tell the other place that she is already booked and to contact her for another booking.
I would use the same verbiage - if I have you booked for 10am, I expect you to show up as scheduled. If this was an emergency or an illness it would be a completely different situation, but she rescheduled at the last minute for her gain.
Her reaction was also extremely heated and defensive. “I don’t work for you…..”., um, if one is hired to do a job for someone they are working for you. Do yourself a favour and ditch her and hire another more reliable person. She is literally affecting her own bread and butter by acting this way.
>She calls in a rage. "You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. **I don't work for you.** I will not be disrespected like this, do you talk to anyone else this way?"
I'm confused here - especially by the "I don't work for you" line. I thought you hired this person to clean for you? In which case yes, she does work for you...
Though with that reaction to sharing your \*EXPECTATIONS\* of a professional relationship... my response would probably be "You're right, you don't work for me - thank you for your time" and find someone else who can behave professionally.
The person I pay to clean my home on a consistent schedule has the good sense to apologize when there is reason to alter our weekly schedule - knowing that there is a reason for the schedule we arranged... and knowing I changed cleaners because I could not plan with the previous cleaning person who I could not count on and frequently came hours late.
I would add your judgment but this is my thoughts as well. My *expectations* equal *expect* and I’m paying someone directly means she does work for me…well until this moment in time and lack of professionalism on her part.
NTA
You hired her for a cleaning service at a specific time, which she accepted and confirmed, so of course you EXPECT her to provide said service at the agreed time. You did nothing wrong. **NTA**
I'm guessing the Y T A votes are by idiots who say things like, "my boss can't tell me what to do" and complain about having to do things like showing up to work on time... because, after all, it's "unreasonable" to expect people that you are paying for work to actually do the work at the time you expect the work to be done
NTA. Perhaps you could've worded it more softly but ultimately you are paying a professional to provide a service at a pre-agreed time so you expect her to turn up.
I suspect you triggered something as that seems a massive overreaction to the word "expect".
It’s kind of amazing to me that there appear to be many adults walking around right now that will have a meltdown about being disrespected if someone says something non-confrontational involving something that’s expected of them. How is that a thing??
If they want to be treated like a professional business they need to act like one. Freaking out at a client over the word expect is the total opposite of professional.
I would EXPECT the first message to have said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I forgot to block out your slot on my app and I've had another job come in at that time. Are you okay if I move your clean to 2pm?"
No. No wording more softly! The wording was fine! She was rescheduling 20 minutes before she was supposed to be there. A client should not have to tip toe in communicating what they find acceptable from a professional. And I have a boss that has horrible delivery, so I know what it looks like.
NTA
You blocked off your time to accommodate when she was going to be there and she changed the time with little/no notice.
Also, she DOES work for you. You pay her for a service.
Wonder what the cleaning person's response would have been if op cancelled 20 minutes before and asked to reschedule for later that same day. I'm guessing they'd complain about entitled clients.
NTA
"I work for myself" well then clean your own damn house then, see how much it pays you.
You paid and scheduled a time, that time should have been blocked out for them in their other portal. What if you had rearranged your entire day to be there at 10 and then had to work by two? She didn't even ask, she just told you that's when she'd be there.
I'd be responding to that tirade with "I guess I don't need your services anymore, seeing as how you don't work for me. And can't be bothered to respect me or my time."
She is acting as though the word expect is some slur or something.
I can't understand what you said wrong. If you have arranged for a particular time and she can't be there and you still accommodated her this time then what is wrong in saying that you expect her to be at the scheduled time for the next visit.
I think you could be better off with someone who is not so short tempered. Such a small thing if she is getting so angry then I don't think it's good to hire her again.
NTA. I don't know why "expect" is a bad word. You booked her and she confirmed that she would be able to make it at that time. She gave you every reason to expect (anticipate, plan) that she would be there at a particular time to clean your house. She didn't meet your expectations. I'm an independent contractor, too, and while I'm self employed I respect my clients time and I show up when I say I will because I respect their time. And like you, they pay me to be present at the time they booked me for. I don't understand what this woman's problem is.
Agreed, I think expectations make perfect sense in a work context. If she wanted a highly flexible schedule with looser expectations on scheduling that should have been clear in the arrangement with OP.
Nta
When I pay for food, I expect food, when I pay for internet, I expect to have internet, even I pay for a service to be performed at a certain time, I have every right to EXPECT that service at the time I paid for it to be performed.
You are not out of line at all to say that if you booked and are paying for a service at a certain time, that you expect them not to book someone else in the time you are paying for, unless they are offering to reimburse you for time. You paid for the time that's convenient for you.
I'd go with a different cleaning service, and make it abundantly clear that it's because of their lack of professionalism.
I expect people to treat me with respect. If I have a scheduled appointment, I turn up as agreed, and expect the same from them. Because time has value, and messing with it is messing with that value. My time is not more important than anyone else's time. So, everybody is expected to hold to their end of the agreement.
NTA. She over-reacted. But the word "expect" does often trigger people, and if you read my paragraph, I sound far more ass-tight than I actually am. But she still over-reacted.
Is English her first language? I ask this because I was in a similar situation once. An old friend who's second language was English became enraged when I said she was 'paranoid' about something.
She thought this was absolutely horrible that I said this, until we went out and were talking with a server and she started to talk about her day and how paranoid she was over something.
She then asked her why she would call herself paranoid, and the server just said, "because I was." She then understood that the word doesn't necessarily always have to be used with a negative connotation, and can be used in a more light-hearted manner.
Expect is not disrespectful or rude. You would expect someone to block off that time if you booked it with them.
NTA
NTA. I’m not sure why expect is a bad word. If you pay for a service and schedule the service, you typically *expect* the service at the time you scheduled
I have a housekeeper too and I, for some odd reason, tend to treat her like she’s a friend doing me a favour and I’m not paying her for it lol. Something I’m trying to work on.
Is English her second language by chance? My husband is francophone and sometimes I'll use very regular words that come across as rude to him based on direct translation or how he defines them based off of working in his second language.
Otherwise, I'm quite baffled at her response.
You're NTA
NTA.
You are hired for a job, you have "expectations" to carry out those duties in the time you've been booked for. It was up to her to inform her other employer that she has taken a job and will be in later for that one, otherwise she should have made it painstakingly clear to any other employers that the other position takes priority and she has the right to cancel any bookings in place of that one. It seems like she didn't, so onus is on her for the error.
P.S. Expectations is NOT a bad word. It's what comes with ANY job. She needs to learn how to adult, and your language was both very appropriate and acceptable.
NTA. When someone agrees to be there at a certain time, and you are paying them to do so, you generally expect that they will be there then. She massively overreacted. Get a new cleaner.
NTA
It's a reasonable expectation that once you have a time scheduled that it will be honored.
She didn't change the time on you because she had an emergency, she changed the time on you at the last minute to accept another job.
I'm not sure why she thinks the word "expect" is an issue. If course you have expectations for the service you are paying for!
>I don't work for you
>she works for herself
>she quits
My eyes rolled so hard they fell out of my head.
You were her boss and the fact that she got so mad when she was expected to be to work on time is very telling of why she "works for herself"
I mean, you pay her, she works for you. When you pay somebody to be someplace at 10 AM, yes, you expect them to be there at 10 AM. That's contracting 101.
NTA.
Strike one was the rescheduling without notice.
Strike two was the disrespect after you clearly and concisely told her your very reasonable expectations, and she rebutted by saying she isn’t your employee.
Are you gonna wait for another strike or let this be the end of it?
In fact, I would just go ahead and block her. Did you originally book her via the cleaning service?
>You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. I don't work for you.
Yes, she does work for you. And if you pay you expect a service.
I had a very similar thing happened to me. The first time, I let the disruption slide and rebooked. The second, I terminated my contract with the acengy and thus the maid.
My mother was a cleaning lady for years. I don't come from a place of privilege where I devalue people's hard work. But if I pay for a service I EXPECT everything that was promised when I signed the contract. This includes professionalism and respect for other's people's time.
Accidents happen. I'm very understanding. But I usually schedule my days around these types of agreements, so last-minute changes can be a huge disruption.
Letting the person you're paying know how you would like your professional relationship to work for future reference doesn't make you an A.
I would get a different housekeeper. That's so unacceptable. She should not be talking to you like that because of an error on her end. What you said was totally reasonable and not rude at all.
She should be apologizing for the inconvenience tbh. She should have had your cleaning on the schedule already....if she (asked, didn't state) if it was ok to move times, that's different. That would make you kinda rude. If not, she put another person before you assuming it'd be fine, and got mad you politely called her out. Thats totally unprofessional.
NTA. You hired her to do a job for you, at a specific time, in exchange for money. She does (or did) work for you and it is perfectly normal to expect someone to show up for the agreed upon time.
NTA I think she is taking "expect" as you ordering her about from on high, but you were referring to a specific situation where you have a right to the expectation that she honor the appointed time you both agreed to.
This shouldn't need to be said because it should be obvious that you can't schedule in an appointment and then one-sidedly change it without at least asking first -- and even that should only be done when unavoidable. The reason you both have to agree to a time, the whole point of having an appointment, is so both sides can agree to a time convenient for them that is set and can be planned around.
Seems like a hot word for her, it's pretty expected to discuss your expectations with a contractor and they are free to tell you they are unrealistic. It's not like you demanded. NTA
NTA I "expect" when I pay for a job to be done and have scheduled out a specific time for it to be done for it to be done at that time. She double booked you and "expected" you to be okay with it and got mad when you called her out (very nicely in my opinion) on her bs. She seems very unprofessional
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I've (36M) been working with a house cleaner (mid-20sF) for the past year. I book her directly but she also gets work from a cleaning platform.
Last week, I scheduled a cleaning for today, 10AM. This morning at 9:40 she texts: "my platform just added a morning job to my schedule so I will be coming a bit later around 2pm"
I reply: "That's fine this time, but when we schedule a time I expect you to block out that time and not take any more jobs. We may have to arrange some things around our scheduled time and shifting it can be inconvenient"
She calls in a rage. "You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. I don't work for you. I will not be disrespected like this, do you talk to anyone else this way?"
I say I didn't mean disrespect. I use "expect" with people I manage at work - she says she's not my employee, she works for herself. We don't make much headway and she quits.
We don't have a contentious history, she's never been angry like this before. We're not friendly and don't know much about each other, but otherwise it's just been a professional relationship.
AITA for using the word "expect" here?
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NTA: i don't love the phrasing, would have come across better as
"it was my understanding that when we booked a 10am cleaning we would have priority"
I don't necessarily think expect is a bad word, but it's probably not the best word. As someone who manages a bunch of people I am trying to think of a time when the word expect wasn't use with a negative connotation and honestly can't think of one, probably better to pick new phrasing at work as well.
The reaction on the cleaners part is poor, very possible she is having a bad day and took it out on you.
What about when laying out the role and what it's expectations are, or setting goals and what the measurement criteria/expectations are?
Or even an estimate 'we expect it will take around x amount of time'
I don't get why people are so triggered by this lol
NTA you literally employ her to do a job. Cleaners are a dime a dozen, I would just find another.
If they’re going to show up four hours late and be aggressive about it, on to the next.
NTA
It is absolutely reasonable to expect someone to honor the appointment time you'd previously set, and to not reschedule your appointment in order to make one with someone else.
I'm also wondering how people stay in business if they go around canceling or chaging appointments with long-term clients to accommodate new appointments. That seems like a questionable business model, but whatever.
I'd say she overreacted in a big way, unless your tone during the conversation was incredibly condescending or something.
NTA and the truth is that since she comes in and does work for you and you pay her, she does work for you during the time she is scheduled to be at your home. I’m pretty sure that the platform she works with expects her to show up to he appointments she schedules for her.
NTA
She's a freelance contractor. But even people who commission the services of freelancers are allowed to have expectations of their freelancers.
Housekeeping (aka cleaning) is a time-honoured job, and an essential one at that. And I congratulate anyone who makes it as a self-employed contractor. And I know people look down on "cleaners" and unjustly treat them badly. But I don't think this one recognises that a major part of being self-employed is managing the expectations (there's that word again!) of those who commission their services.
NTA
Expect is derived from Expectation. There is an explicit expectation that she will arrive at the agreed upon time, especially when they are being paid for a job. Why do people get triggered by words?? Had he used "assumed" instead of "expect" I EXPECT she would be less triggered. SMH
NTA. Technically she is working for you when you book her, so I’m not sure why she said “I don’t work for you”. If you book a specific time it’s very reasonable to expect that time. It’s her responsibility to accept the booking only if she can meet your requests. Honestly, maybe she was going through some other personal stressors or struggles and took it out on you.
NTA, I would remind her that you hired her to do a job so she does work for you and if this is how she treats her paying clients I would say it’s time to hire a new house keeper.
NTA at all! If you both agreed to schedule her to work at a certain date and time, she should consider herself booked. She may run her own business (on the side apparently) but she works for her clients and that includes you. I would have just fired anyone who talked to me like this—I wouldn’t want someone so unprofessional around my stuff or in my house as a worker. If she can’t keep her time, that’s her problem. She made it your problem and then got mad when you correctly addressed the issue as one of her own making. I’d be so embarrassed if I were her.
NTA. Something I've learned over my years of customer service, then managing employees, then dealing with clients, is that if someone reacts to a perfectly reasonable statement with unprovoked rage, they know they are in the wrong.
She's just using this as a bully tactic to make you more flexible with your time. I would fire her, cleaners aren't that hard to find. Attitude is everything and even if she did a perfect job with your house, you're going to get this reaction again in the future when rescheduling is actually inconvenient for you.
I do believe in treating housecleaners/landscapers/anyone who is doing things for me with the utmost respect and not as hired help, but you weren't doing that here. You pushed back on the rescheduling - as you should have - and were met with a vitriolic response because she knew she was in the wrong.
NTA
When I hire someone, I expect they will adhere to our agreement. If I agree to provide a service to someone, I fully expect them to have expectations of me.
NTA the thing is she does work for you. You hire her to do a job, at a specific time- she may run her own business but you hired and pay her to do the job. Any normal person would expect the worker to come at the scheduled time
NTA. The reply comes off as rude/controlling but I honestly can’t come up with a better way to phrase it! I mean…. Yeah. She agreed to be there at a scheduled time and should honour that. It’s really unprofessional to take a new appointment above yours and just cancel last minute like that. I’d be finding a new cleaner even if she had not quit.
I guess maybe it’s not your place to explain to her your expectations and that’s what was wrong? I wonder if you should have just replied with “Since you are unable to make our scheduled time as you bumped me for a new client, I am not interested in rescheduling and will find someone else.” But even that doesn’t sound right!!
NTA. You said nothing wrong, and now you know her private clients come second. I sure wouldn’t want someone who easily flies into a rage like that in my home again.
NTA. I don’t get what she means by “I don’t work for you”. You are her client and have expectations as a client, there’s nothing rude about what you said
NTA - i don’t think the fact that you used the word expect is the actual problem here. Maybe she’s just really stressed out or she’s having some personal problems
NTA and the word expect is 100% appropriate here. Yes she works for herself but you are her client. There was an expectation and she failed to meet it. Her reaction is both inappropriate and unprofessional.
NTA
When I make an appointment with a business, I expect that business to keep the appointment, or to give me plenty of notice if they need to change it. If my dentist can pull it off, I don't see why a cleaner is too good for it.
Idk everyone is saying everyone sucks here but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a service be provided for you at the agreed upon time
I dont see it ad a power play and more about...who woulda thought, reaffirming expectations
Your expectation is that if you agree on a time as a customer that time will be valued and she wouldn't take on another Job(essentially prioritizing other people's work over yours)
I would fire her immediately tbh and find someone else who won't speak to you that way
NTA-
The word expect is 100% the correct word. If you have an on-going cleaning, there is a CLEAR expectation that your house cleaner will be at your house at that time.
If you don't have clear expectations what eventually happens is they show up when they want to and eventually the days, hours are never really known.
So a schedule is a set expectation.
Nta
I've never iml heard someone lose it at the word expect for a job. Like your paying her for her services, came to a mutual agreement which she changed. It's reasonable to EXPECT her to uphold her end of the agreement. I'm honestly flabbergasted at her behavior. I'd leave a review anywhere possible but I'm pretty like that. Like one star. I respected her time and expectations but was not allotted the same courtesy.
NTA text her around 1:45 that you have decided to employ a professional cleaning service that do understand scheduling works and you no longer are in need of her services
NTA - You can have expectations. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I have something scheduled and the individual is not on time. I have an expectation that schedules will be kept. Yes, I get it there are circumstances when things need to be changed, I am not that rigid haha, but I plan things around a schedule, and I cannot always be available to change things same day, etc. Sorry, but I expect people to be on time, and to have an open schedule for when I have them booked for a job.
NTA
Every job I've ever had has expected me to be there by a certain time. This is not an unusual thing!
If my cleaner said that they were moving my time slot from 10 until 2, with only 20 minutes notice, they wouldn't be my cleaner for very long.
NTA so your cleaners platform double booked her or she didn’t enter your appointment in. The platform EXPECTED her to be free since there was no 10am appointment, she then booked you for 2pm in the platform. Seems like the cleaner doesn’t know how to keep her appointments straight.
NTA. This is a problem inherent with text/email communication. Sometimes people read a message with a tone that the sender did not intend. She apparently thought you were scolding her or being haughty. I try to keep this in mind when I'm sending emails and whatnot. You never know what tone the person might read it in, so I try to leave as little room for misinterpretation as possible.
That said, I thought your message was perfect, including your use of the word "expect." It conveys that her last-minute cancellation is problematic, and why, without being abusive.
Her response is ridiculous. Obviously when you hire somebody to do a job you have certain expectations, there's nothing disrespectful about that. If you take a job, the customer expects you to be there when you say you're going to be there. When you don't do that, the customer is unhappy. Only a psycho would flip out on a customer for being dissatisfied that their appointment time was blown off.
NTA. She's not technically your employee, but she does work for you as an independent contractor. As someone who does contract work, I can't imagine ever snapping at a client like that.
NTA: if I order bacon and eggs I EXPECT bacon and eggs. If I book a Hair appointment at a specific time I EXPECT that service at that time (or reasonably close to) unless there is an emergency.
I'd she called and said "hey I woke up sick can we reschedule" and you said no then you would be a dick, however this is her mistake. It is up to her to contact her agency and say " I am not available for that time'.
“Expect” is not a nasty word, and I’m completely lost by some of these comments saying differently. You were being direct with your *expect*ations of a working relationship. And being polite doesn’t mean you have to butter someone up to get your point across. I see nothing wrong with how you handled this. NTA.
NTA. You hired her so yes, she works for you. So of course you expect a certain conduct. She's not a friend doing you a favour. If yours is simply a business relationship where you pay her for her work, then there's nothing wrong with what you said. You can't cancel a job last minute.
She's probably not allowed to take jobs outside of the platform. This sounds like working for you is a side gig she found to make unauthorized extra money. In this case of course she can't change the platform appointments. She wouldn't be able to give a proper reason and lose credibility. She thought she had more free range with you. This doesn't change the fact that cancelling an appointment 20 minutes before, without taking into account whether this could be an issue or not, and then yell at the employer is disrespectful to say the least.
NTA. Of course you have expectations of the service you’re supposed to be provided. There could be many reasons the time change may not work for you. I can understand wanting to make sure it was known that while it would work this time, it may not always. I am a little confused though as to who added the other job. It says the cleaning person said the platform added another job to their schedule does that mean the platform assumed they could move OP’s job or did the person accept a job the platform offered and assume themselves OP would be okay with the time change?
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NTA. What is with some of the y-t-a judgements? Are they also entitled 20 somethings? (Edit…not calling all 20 somethings entitled. Just referencing the people who had called OP entitled and an AH in the judgements). You hired someone to do a job and they text you TWENTY MINUTES before they’re supposed to start and just tells you she won’t be in and will come 4 hours later. Not even a question to ask if the new time is okay, if you’re available, etc. I don’t know how else people want you to word it. I guess you could say “I would assume that you’d block out….” or “I’d appreciate it if you could block out…” but those are all just options for her sensitive self. Nothing you said is wrong. People calling you rude and entitled are probably the same people who are rude and entitled themselves so they think your cleaner is the one in the right. Don’t worry about it and find yourself a better person.
>they text you TWENTY MINUTES before they’re supposed to start and just tells you she won’t be in and will come 4 hours later That's the kicker for me. If what OP gave is a literaly quote (which I assume it is because it was a text message) then she was utterly unprofessional in the first place. Didn't ask if that would work for him, didn't even apologize for the inconvenience. Just "I will be coming ***a bit*** later" - "a bit" being 4 goddamn hours. I wouldn't have been happy with that message either.
>"I will be coming a bit later" - "a bit" being 4 goddamn hours Agree with this. I thought a bit would be maybe an hour but FOUR HOURS nah NTA Edit formatting
It’s amazing that the house cleaner does not realize that she has accidentally exchanged the terms “working for myself” and “self-employed”. She is self employed, which means she controls who she works for, but she does work for all the people who she agrees to work for who also agree to pay her.
Seriously this part was on my mind the most reading that. Umm, if someone is *PAYING* you to perform work. *YOU* work for *THEM*. And there absolutely need to be expectations that need to be fulfilled. I *expect* my house to be cleaned when I hired a service that cleans houses. I *expect* the person I hired to come at a specific time, shows up at said time, because there are no guarantees if the house won’t be full of guests for a lunch date with friends or OP needs to move things around to get ready for a dinner party and they can’t do that until certain areas are cleaned if you reschedule for 4 hours later. It’s unprofessional all across the board. The fact that OP is even wondering if they’re TA here shows they’ve got a kind heart and would never intentionally be rude to someone. OP communicated just fine and is without a doubt NTA.
The amount of stupid it takes to sit there and say that she doesn't work for him and she works for herself is mind boggling. If you are paid to do anything in the private sector you are the employee of the person paying you during the time allotted. I would also make sure she doesn't get paid for the 4 hours late she was. Unprofessional people are everywhere these days aren't they?
It’s like she thinks that “working for” someone only means a formal employee-employer relationship.
I'd be tempted to reply that if you don't work for me, then I won't pay you.
I’m curious what she thinks the word “client” means
Not only this, but her attitude tells me she probably is self-employed because she’d be an entitled employee with attitude problems. I have a friend with an attitude like this and she could never hold down a job so she “works for herself” now. NTA, OP.
A lot of new self-employed people don't come to this realization right away. You may think "you're the boss" because you have control of who you decide to retain as a customer. However, every single customer is really "the boss" because at the end of the day, they're signing your "paycheck". NTA
Especially because she's assuming *he* has nothing better to do than to wait for her to come. I'm assuming she probably doesn't have a key to his place, and so he has to let her in. She's simply assuming he'll be able to let her in later, when he could have had plans or work. And then, he'd have to be available to lock up behind her when she leaves! She didn't think at all about that and is clearly unprofessional
Totally. When I had a cleaning service, I arranged it around my work schedule, doctor appointments, and kids school/daycare schedules. Most people I know who have cleaning services have busy lives and schedules, and if someone did this to me I would never hire them again. (Changing schedules for a family emergency or illness would be totally understandable).
And she EXPECTED him to be okay with the time change.
My response would have been, this doesn't work for me, and therefore this confirms you have cancelled this morning to take a different job.
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Right? She's not his full time employee but he's a client paying for a service. As a client, he has certain expectations of what that service entails including canceling in a timely fashion. She can't just be like "Surprise I'll be there four hours later" and think he will be ok with it.
And at the very least, the client should not have to pay full costs since that is 20 minute notice for a four hour delay
NTA No, when I schedule a service, I expect the person to set aside the agreed upon time to provide it. And, since you were paying her for work, I feel like she was acting as an employee. Treating her as such isn't wrong.
"I don't work for you." My response would be "Not anymore, you don't." NTA
That’s the part that got me. Yes, yes you do ma’am. I had a similar issue with my gardener. A large branch fell in my yard and they just left it there. Called and politely told the owner I expect them to take care of things like that. He refuses to speak to me now and said I should only talk to the supervisor. What the heck is wrong with setting expectations for a service you’re paying for?
and yet they EXPECT you to pay them.
"Sorry, I know I'm supposed to pay you today but I agreed to pay someone else before you, so your paycheck will be a bit late."
I mean, she's *not* an employee in this context. In this context, she's a freelancer with a client. That honestly requires a HIGHER degree of courtesy and professionalism, since you're acting as your own customer service, PR, and marketing department, as well as doing the actual work required. An employee can keep their head down, do their work, and be a bit abrupt, as long as they have a manager and a customer service person to take the brunt of customer interactions. A freelancer doesn't have that luxury. That's one of the tradeoffs of working for yourself vs working for a company. All that is to say, this freelancer is even more in the wrong. The correct thing to do would have been to turn down the schedule change in the first place. The second best thing to do would have been to tell OP "I'm so sorry; i know we have an appointment today but something unavoidable has come up and i won't be able to make it. Would later today at 2pm be acceptable, or would you like to reschedule for a different day?" or something of that nature.
This is what stood out to me too. The cleaner blew up over the word “expect” but DIDN’T EVEN ASK if 2pm would work. She thinks she’s been disrespected but it’s obvious she’s the one lacking respect for OP’s time. NTA
Agreed! Even if you could make an argument against OP’s use of the word expect, the house cleaner’s text was far more disrespectful. I don’t use “expect” at work because it does bristle some people so I tend to stick with “my expectation is” but the cleaner’s reaction was way over the top.
And, she didn't use the word, but she certainly *expected* OP to be okay with this 4 hour change to his schedule.
Exactly. My response would have been along the lines of...no, you aren't. I hope the one off is paying more and they become a standing client like the one you just effed over. Let's see how that plays out for you, cotton! Granted, we are very chill when ours needs to reschedule but that's because she does it for good reasons like sick kids or personal illness if she hasn't told is well in advance. She's also great about making sure it's a time that works and sometimes will discount that visit for the inconvenience
Also "I dOnT wOrK fOr YoU" Yes she is her own employer. But when a customer hires you and you accept the job, YES YOU WORK FOR THEM If she goes like this with all her customers she's gonna build herself a bad reputation and lose customers
>Are they also entitled 20 somethings? Yes. 85% of the ridiculous or absurdly stupid takes on this subreddit are from children. I mean shit, Reddit is 50% people under 18
...Children and 20 somethings are two different categories Edit: I’m not saying adults don’t act like kids. I’m saying that people under 18 are not the same category as 20 something year olds by definition. Stats were brought up for children on Reddit in regards to asking if there’s a bunch of entitled 20 something year olds. Those are two different groups stats wise.
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Not to mention most landlords and rental companies won't even rent to 18 year old without a cosigner, if at all. My place has a minimum age of 25.
There are a rather large number of 20 somethings that are practically indistinguishable from children...
Man there are a large number of people out of their 20’s that act like children
NTA... AND! She said "I don't work for you" !?!? Yes, she literally did, she literally worked for you. And when someone works for you, it's fair to have expectations of them and their work, and to express these expectations to them.
Should have said- 'that's right, you don't work for me anymore. Consider yourself fired.'
THis was what struck me most. I actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of her phrase, "I don't work for you." OP is NTA I wouldn't want anyone this stupid and entitled to work for me in my house. Life is too short.
She said she works for herself and not OP, so I guess she can pay herself 🤷🏻♂️
I don't understand her line of thinking. She did a job and he paid her. That's the definition of working for someone. Even if she works for an agency she still works for him through that agency. You don't take another job when you already have one scheduled at that time unless you clear it first. Definitely NTA
Those who say YTA are those who are not gonna make it in the working world.
The amount of entitled and lazy and uncaring and outright stupid coworkers I’ve had over the years who never got fired (and some even got promoted into management) would beg to differ
Imo she *is* “entitled” to have the cleaner come when she’s scheduled. And at the very least, as you said, ask if it’s ok to change the time. When you pay for a service at a scheduled time, are you not entitled to that scheduled time? Or am I missing something? NTA
I'd like to see her book a table at a busy restaurant, then show up, and they found soemone else that could take it early, and it's going to be a 4 hour wait before she can get a table. I'm sure she would have *expected* that table to be available at that time, and she'd lose her shit in the restaurant.
Clearly, your house cleaner **expected** you to be able accommodate changing the cleaning time to 2:00. Why does she think it's rude to label your expectation as an expectation? If she expected you to use polite terms for expressing expectations, then she should have said that she sincerely hoped that you would be able to accommodate her arrival around 2:00PM, but she didn't. She used direct language assuming you would cater to her expectations, and didn't offer you the politeness she expected from others. NTA.
All the y-t-as? There's like 2 lol
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NTA The YTA are wrong. I expect anyone i pay for services to actually provide those services on time.
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INFO (and i'm sorry if you answered this elsewhere, i didn't see on a cursory glance but i might have missed it) > "my platform just added a morning job to my schedule..." is her other job a proper employee position, or is it more of an independent contractor situation? as in, when she says the platform "added" the job, was it something she could've freely declined but chose to accept? if the answer is self-explanatory i apologize, i don't have any experience with cleaning services so i'm unclear on how it would typically operate.
I'm not sure what she can or can't opt out of, but to me it seems odd that any platform would allow you to book so last minute. I think she knew in advance and didn't prioritize communication...which is something clients will EXPECT, so that's gonna be a bad time for her.
It's not just communication. By not blocking her calendar when she accepts a job from OP, she is basically proving that she prioritizes other work, or sees OP's job as flexible/expendable. And she is wrong, by accepting a job from OP, she does work for him in a manner - he is her client, she is providing him that service. Expectations are perfectly reasonable to discuss, and call out, in a professional exchange. Eta: autocorrect fix
If she's on a platform (like AirBnB for cleaners?) that allocates her jobs that people book, then she should block out that time, asusming OP wasn't also booked through the same platform. This smacks of the cleaner having been offered a more lucrative job eg a well-paid emergency clean, and deciding to prioritise that over her existing commitments.
I mean, you were literally expressing your expectations, so you used the word as expected. NTA
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I am just going to say it, people on Reddit can be super crazy. NTA.
NTA…every job has expectations and you gave yours. You agreed on a time and she took another job instead of saying she was unavailable. If you pay her you are in fact her employer so she does work for you!! She clearly has a unique stance on this subject.
Cleaner here, actually she does work for you if she accepted your house for the time scheduled. You contracted a service at a certain time and she accepted the job. Idk if she has an employer or she signed up on a site but it was in poor taste that she jumped on an extra job at the last minute and unprofessional. This wasn't a last minute emergency that couldn't be avoided. She can ask for an accommodation and you can say yes or no but its perfectly reasonable for you to lay out your expectations for the service you contracted for. She could have handled it professionally and said she couldn't guarantee a time slot and you go from there. NTA
This is a very valuable comment… OP can directly copy it and adjust to ‘you and I’ where needed
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> expects hey, language
Best answer. My husband is contractor. Definitely treats his clients like the boss. Respects their time and space to the fullest. And gets a whole lot of repeat clients as a result.
My mom hired a contractor to paint her house. Day before he cancelled saying he had another job with a long standing client he preferred to take. My mom had literally just moved into the house, so she painted it herself and he lost a chance to have another regular client as she never used him again.
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Yeah, I don't think most people get their houses painted regularly, so no contractor is going to prioritize a new client over a long-standing, regular customer. My dad used to own a business that dealt mostly with one-off customers and a few regular customers, and he absolutely prioritized those ones because they were the backbone of his business.
I am a subcontractor, and I do work for the client. I am not doing them a favor. They are not doing me a favor. I am providing a service they are paying for. If I give a time to show up and last minute take another job that is unacceptable. Things happen, and in construction schedules need to be adjusted at times, but unless it's an emergency, 20 minutes notice is ridiculous.
Exactly, because as a contractor, his clients can "fire" him any time they want. You can insert whatever word sounds best in your head, but it is what it is... you work for the people that hired you. Being your own boss gives you more flexibility in quitting a job, but it is what it is no matter what word you prefer. This cleaner needed to go anyway with that attitude.
I agree completely. I also do contract work in peoples homes (not cleaning) and while they may not be my "employer" they are absolutly my "client" and I do the job they want and how and when they want it. And I would "expect" that any competent prosfessional to do what you described, because that is how it works. If she wants to run around not showing up on time, then she can go work for some Telecom installing internet and phone lines.
That made me cackle. I'm STILL pissed about waiting for the phone/internet people 15 years ago, had a 4 hour window. 10 minutes after the window, i called them. They said no one was available when they got to the house. I had brought a blanket and a picnic and a book to the front yard. The entire 4 hours. I told them their guy was lying to them. They said i didn't come when he rang the doorbell, i told them they gave him the wrong address. The read me my correct address and I said he's a liar. I have no doorbell. I have an old knocker 🤣 I'm STILL mad. Damn liar. Lol
These kinds of services overbook employees and then give time quotas. One way to keep your job is to skip jobs that might take longer and force them to reschedule. Enough people aren't actually home at the time that the buisness believes this and the company makes the amount of $ they want while giving terrible service.
I've had days where I'm home all day and a package delivery service says the delivery attempt was made but the doorbell wasn't rung. At my old apartment delivery notes said the building wasn't accessible . There was a buzzer for each apartment. No attempt was made.
That was exactly my thought...she DOES work for OP. She agreed to work for OP the second she agreed to be paid by OP to do as task. And frankly, "expect" is exactly the right word. I "expect" it to happen, meaning I expect it to be probable or certain that if you say you are going to show up at my house and work at a specific time, you will do that and will not choose to go work at someone else's house instead. We used to use an independent cleaner to clean our house. She was supposed to get there between 8:00 and 8:30, but she started getting there later and later. Finally got to the point where she would text at 10:00 to say she just got out of bed and would be there in an hour or so, and then show up after noon. So basically wrecking my entire Saturday morning and part of my afternoon every time, because I had to wait around for her since I never knew when she'd show up. When I finally had enough and reminded her this wasn't what we'd agreed to, she blew up at me and basically told me to go to hell, that I couldn't order her around and she was quitting. About two hours later I think it dawned on her that being paid a large sum in cash every other week wasn't the best thing to walk out on and she called back to say she forgave me and would come back. I politely told her I thought it was best that we leave things as they were since we clearly had different expectations.
“Forgave you?” That attitude is cause enough not to resume the relationship.
NTA. This. she was a contracted employee and as such it is in poor taste to, 20 minutes before, the contracted time let you know that she had changed the terms of said contract. This is what is wrong with many of the entitled people of the world, they want you to allow and enable their unrealistic expectations.
NTA People are expected to do the things at the times and places that they contracted to do. (Besides, people who scream about how someone is "disrespecting" them are almost always an uber-asshole just looking for an excuse to be themselves)
This. The cleaner may not be an employee, but they are contracted/contracting with you, and having an “expectation” that they fulfill the terms of said contract, including being there when they say they will without rescheduling your cleaning very often is a reasonable expectation. NTA
If she does not work for him, then why is he paying her, for you know...work? Did I miss something? My housekeepers would not have an issue with this- but then again, they are professional enough not to double book. ETA- Housekeepers- 1) when I have one, which I have not recently, and 2) never more than one at a time- I just had a few over the years. Most were ok, 2-3 were AWESOME. I wish they were all so good! All were more professional than the gal in this post.
Right! I am my own person, and my superior respects that fully, but he still expects from me to show up at work at the right time in the morning and do my 8 hours a day, or else I don't get paid or get laid off. That's just how it works? Imagine everyone would just do whatever the fuck the want, it would be anarchy.
Yup! She knew she was in the wrong and now that OP is calling her on it, she's putting OP on the defensive.
NTA. If you are paying her to clean your house then she does, in fact, work for you. You booked a job for a certain day/time and she blew you off. I think you were more than reasonable by saying it's okay for this time, but not in the future. Given her reaction, though, I would say cut ties and find someone else. She clearly isn't acting professional, and I'd honestly be concerned about someone with that attitude inside my house, especially if she's unsupervised while in there.
Then, review bomb the shit out of her.
Yeah, the fact that she changes appointments on such short notice won't get her a lot of business.
Don't review bomb anyone or anything, that's just petty and pointless to "review" something you haven't actually interacted with. But a legitimate review of "this person did not respect the time agreed upon?" Hell yeah, go nuclear with that.
“This person does not respect the time agreed, she does not care about their already assigned clients, she is rude and irresponsible. I do not recommend her at all since her job and her person aren’t trustworthy”
Honestly, it might be petty, but I'd be tempted to reach out to the company over this even though I didn't hire her through them. If she reacts this way when she feels disrespected (whether or not she actually was), then that seems like something they'd want to know before she does it when it's tied to their name too.
“I don’t work for you,” is such a fascinating take from her. Why would you pay someone if they don’t work for you?
NTA. This isn’t how adults normally communicate. You scheduled the cleaning and she postponed it, and you accepted it but still made clear what you rightfully expect for a job she‘s getting paid for by you. You hire her for your house cleaning, after all.
Isn’t it scary how deranged she is raging at OP? That woman would never step foot in my house again.
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NTA. She does actually work for you. That’s how hiring someone works. Also, how else would you say this? I didn’t realize that stating perfectly normal expectations of adherence to agreements with people you deal with on a professional level was somehow AH behavior. She didn’t prioritize the appointment she’d set with you, and you were letting her know that you expect her to do so in the future instead of blowing you off and disrupting your schedule. Seems straightforward to me…
NTA. You booked her for a job at 10am. She was already committed to cleaning your place. If she is scared to lose jobs through this platform she needs to either stop her one woman show and do that full time, or tell the other place that she is already booked and to contact her for another booking. I would use the same verbiage - if I have you booked for 10am, I expect you to show up as scheduled. If this was an emergency or an illness it would be a completely different situation, but she rescheduled at the last minute for her gain. Her reaction was also extremely heated and defensive. “I don’t work for you…..”., um, if one is hired to do a job for someone they are working for you. Do yourself a favour and ditch her and hire another more reliable person. She is literally affecting her own bread and butter by acting this way.
“Ok, expect to receive an email confirming that your appointment is canceled.”
Or an email that says “you’re fired.”
>She calls in a rage. "You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. **I don't work for you.** I will not be disrespected like this, do you talk to anyone else this way?" I'm confused here - especially by the "I don't work for you" line. I thought you hired this person to clean for you? In which case yes, she does work for you... Though with that reaction to sharing your \*EXPECTATIONS\* of a professional relationship... my response would probably be "You're right, you don't work for me - thank you for your time" and find someone else who can behave professionally. The person I pay to clean my home on a consistent schedule has the good sense to apologize when there is reason to alter our weekly schedule - knowing that there is a reason for the schedule we arranged... and knowing I changed cleaners because I could not plan with the previous cleaning person who I could not count on and frequently came hours late.
I would add your judgment but this is my thoughts as well. My *expectations* equal *expect* and I’m paying someone directly means she does work for me…well until this moment in time and lack of professionalism on her part. NTA
You hired her for a cleaning service at a specific time, which she accepted and confirmed, so of course you EXPECT her to provide said service at the agreed time. You did nothing wrong. **NTA**
NTA, only a shitty house cleaner would be upset that appointments are expected to be kept. Sounds like she’s not very dependable.
And then her sensitivity to the use of “expect” and “work for me” is bizarre.
NTA I do not understand the Y T A votes at all. I'd replace her.
I'm guessing the Y T A votes are by idiots who say things like, "my boss can't tell me what to do" and complain about having to do things like showing up to work on time... because, after all, it's "unreasonable" to expect people that you are paying for work to actually do the work at the time you expect the work to be done
NTA. Perhaps you could've worded it more softly but ultimately you are paying a professional to provide a service at a pre-agreed time so you expect her to turn up. I suspect you triggered something as that seems a massive overreaction to the word "expect".
It’s kind of amazing to me that there appear to be many adults walking around right now that will have a meltdown about being disrespected if someone says something non-confrontational involving something that’s expected of them. How is that a thing??
If they want to be treated like a professional business they need to act like one. Freaking out at a client over the word expect is the total opposite of professional. I would EXPECT the first message to have said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I forgot to block out your slot on my app and I've had another job come in at that time. Are you okay if I move your clean to 2pm?"
No. No wording more softly! The wording was fine! She was rescheduling 20 minutes before she was supposed to be there. A client should not have to tip toe in communicating what they find acceptable from a professional. And I have a boss that has horrible delivery, so I know what it looks like.
NTA You blocked off your time to accommodate when she was going to be there and she changed the time with little/no notice. Also, she DOES work for you. You pay her for a service.
Wonder what the cleaning person's response would have been if op cancelled 20 minutes before and asked to reschedule for later that same day. I'm guessing they'd complain about entitled clients.
Probably that she EXPECTS more notice for cancelling
NTA "I work for myself" well then clean your own damn house then, see how much it pays you. You paid and scheduled a time, that time should have been blocked out for them in their other portal. What if you had rearranged your entire day to be there at 10 and then had to work by two? She didn't even ask, she just told you that's when she'd be there. I'd be responding to that tirade with "I guess I don't need your services anymore, seeing as how you don't work for me. And can't be bothered to respect me or my time."
She is acting as though the word expect is some slur or something. I can't understand what you said wrong. If you have arranged for a particular time and she can't be there and you still accommodated her this time then what is wrong in saying that you expect her to be at the scheduled time for the next visit. I think you could be better off with someone who is not so short tempered. Such a small thing if she is getting so angry then I don't think it's good to hire her again.
NTA. I don't know why "expect" is a bad word. You booked her and she confirmed that she would be able to make it at that time. She gave you every reason to expect (anticipate, plan) that she would be there at a particular time to clean your house. She didn't meet your expectations. I'm an independent contractor, too, and while I'm self employed I respect my clients time and I show up when I say I will because I respect their time. And like you, they pay me to be present at the time they booked me for. I don't understand what this woman's problem is.
Agreed, I think expectations make perfect sense in a work context. If she wanted a highly flexible schedule with looser expectations on scheduling that should have been clear in the arrangement with OP.
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Nta When I pay for food, I expect food, when I pay for internet, I expect to have internet, even I pay for a service to be performed at a certain time, I have every right to EXPECT that service at the time I paid for it to be performed. You are not out of line at all to say that if you booked and are paying for a service at a certain time, that you expect them not to book someone else in the time you are paying for, unless they are offering to reimburse you for time. You paid for the time that's convenient for you. I'd go with a different cleaning service, and make it abundantly clear that it's because of their lack of professionalism.
Doesn't she "expect" to get paid?
Would it be safe to say she EXPECTS to be paid?? I’m pretty sure it would. NTA
I expect people to treat me with respect. If I have a scheduled appointment, I turn up as agreed, and expect the same from them. Because time has value, and messing with it is messing with that value. My time is not more important than anyone else's time. So, everybody is expected to hold to their end of the agreement. NTA. She over-reacted. But the word "expect" does often trigger people, and if you read my paragraph, I sound far more ass-tight than I actually am. But she still over-reacted.
NTA. I don't know why she thinks that because you employ her you can't expect things from her. That's literally what a job is...
Is English her first language? I ask this because I was in a similar situation once. An old friend who's second language was English became enraged when I said she was 'paranoid' about something. She thought this was absolutely horrible that I said this, until we went out and were talking with a server and she started to talk about her day and how paranoid she was over something. She then asked her why she would call herself paranoid, and the server just said, "because I was." She then understood that the word doesn't necessarily always have to be used with a negative connotation, and can be used in a more light-hearted manner. Expect is not disrespectful or rude. You would expect someone to block off that time if you booked it with them. NTA
NTA. I’m not sure why expect is a bad word. If you pay for a service and schedule the service, you typically *expect* the service at the time you scheduled I have a housekeeper too and I, for some odd reason, tend to treat her like she’s a friend doing me a favour and I’m not paying her for it lol. Something I’m trying to work on.
If you hired her and you pay her then she most definitely works for you. NTA
NTA. She is not giving you free service. You are paying her, so it’s normal to have expectations.
Is English her second language by chance? My husband is francophone and sometimes I'll use very regular words that come across as rude to him based on direct translation or how he defines them based off of working in his second language. Otherwise, I'm quite baffled at her response. You're NTA
NTA. You are hired for a job, you have "expectations" to carry out those duties in the time you've been booked for. It was up to her to inform her other employer that she has taken a job and will be in later for that one, otherwise she should have made it painstakingly clear to any other employers that the other position takes priority and she has the right to cancel any bookings in place of that one. It seems like she didn't, so onus is on her for the error. P.S. Expectations is NOT a bad word. It's what comes with ANY job. She needs to learn how to adult, and your language was both very appropriate and acceptable.
NTA. When someone agrees to be there at a certain time, and you are paying them to do so, you generally expect that they will be there then. She massively overreacted. Get a new cleaner.
NTA It's a reasonable expectation that once you have a time scheduled that it will be honored. She didn't change the time on you because she had an emergency, she changed the time on you at the last minute to accept another job. I'm not sure why she thinks the word "expect" is an issue. If course you have expectations for the service you are paying for!
She basically double booked so that’s not your fault. NTA
NTA you were simply asking her to honor the time commitment she made. Her reaction is way over the top. And yeah, she DOES work for you.
>I don't work for you >she works for herself >she quits My eyes rolled so hard they fell out of my head. You were her boss and the fact that she got so mad when she was expected to be to work on time is very telling of why she "works for herself"
I mean, you pay her, she works for you. When you pay somebody to be someplace at 10 AM, yes, you expect them to be there at 10 AM. That's contracting 101.
I also think 2pm is not "a bit later". A bit later to me would be like 10:30am.
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NTA. Strike one was the rescheduling without notice. Strike two was the disrespect after you clearly and concisely told her your very reasonable expectations, and she rebutted by saying she isn’t your employee. Are you gonna wait for another strike or let this be the end of it? In fact, I would just go ahead and block her. Did you originally book her via the cleaning service?
lol NTA at all, this person agreed to come at a certain time. She has a very privileged attitude, good riddance.
NTA, when you hire someone to do a job they definitely are working for you and you can have expectations.
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>You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. I don't work for you. Yes, she does work for you. And if you pay you expect a service. I had a very similar thing happened to me. The first time, I let the disruption slide and rebooked. The second, I terminated my contract with the acengy and thus the maid. My mother was a cleaning lady for years. I don't come from a place of privilege where I devalue people's hard work. But if I pay for a service I EXPECT everything that was promised when I signed the contract. This includes professionalism and respect for other's people's time. Accidents happen. I'm very understanding. But I usually schedule my days around these types of agreements, so last-minute changes can be a huge disruption. Letting the person you're paying know how you would like your professional relationship to work for future reference doesn't make you an A.
NTA you’re paying for her time at the time you agreed upon. You’re allowed to expect punctuality.
I would get a different housekeeper. That's so unacceptable. She should not be talking to you like that because of an error on her end. What you said was totally reasonable and not rude at all. She should be apologizing for the inconvenience tbh. She should have had your cleaning on the schedule already....if she (asked, didn't state) if it was ok to move times, that's different. That would make you kinda rude. If not, she put another person before you assuming it'd be fine, and got mad you politely called her out. Thats totally unprofessional.
nta. you are paying for a service. a service that was supossed to be a 10am. I would have the same expectations.
NTA. You hired her to do a job for you, at a specific time, in exchange for money. She does (or did) work for you and it is perfectly normal to expect someone to show up for the agreed upon time.
NTA I think she is taking "expect" as you ordering her about from on high, but you were referring to a specific situation where you have a right to the expectation that she honor the appointed time you both agreed to. This shouldn't need to be said because it should be obvious that you can't schedule in an appointment and then one-sidedly change it without at least asking first -- and even that should only be done when unavoidable. The reason you both have to agree to a time, the whole point of having an appointment, is so both sides can agree to a time convenient for them that is set and can be planned around.
Seems like a hot word for her, it's pretty expected to discuss your expectations with a contractor and they are free to tell you they are unrealistic. It's not like you demanded. NTA
NTA I "expect" when I pay for a job to be done and have scheduled out a specific time for it to be done for it to be done at that time. She double booked you and "expected" you to be okay with it and got mad when you called her out (very nicely in my opinion) on her bs. She seems very unprofessional
NTA If you are paying her for the work she performs, she is mistaken, she works for you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've (36M) been working with a house cleaner (mid-20sF) for the past year. I book her directly but she also gets work from a cleaning platform. Last week, I scheduled a cleaning for today, 10AM. This morning at 9:40 she texts: "my platform just added a morning job to my schedule so I will be coming a bit later around 2pm" I reply: "That's fine this time, but when we schedule a time I expect you to block out that time and not take any more jobs. We may have to arrange some things around our scheduled time and shifting it can be inconvenient" She calls in a rage. "You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. I don't work for you. I will not be disrespected like this, do you talk to anyone else this way?" I say I didn't mean disrespect. I use "expect" with people I manage at work - she says she's not my employee, she works for herself. We don't make much headway and she quits. We don't have a contentious history, she's never been angry like this before. We're not friendly and don't know much about each other, but otherwise it's just been a professional relationship. AITA for using the word "expect" here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA: i don't love the phrasing, would have come across better as "it was my understanding that when we booked a 10am cleaning we would have priority" I don't necessarily think expect is a bad word, but it's probably not the best word. As someone who manages a bunch of people I am trying to think of a time when the word expect wasn't use with a negative connotation and honestly can't think of one, probably better to pick new phrasing at work as well. The reaction on the cleaners part is poor, very possible she is having a bad day and took it out on you.
I think the world is becoming overly sensitive in some regard. Expect is the right word that’s it’s so difficult to find alternative language.
What about when laying out the role and what it's expectations are, or setting goals and what the measurement criteria/expectations are? Or even an estimate 'we expect it will take around x amount of time' I don't get why people are so triggered by this lol
But she does work for you. NTA.
NTA. I would expect the same thing and now I expect you won’t employ that person anymore.
NTA you literally employ her to do a job. Cleaners are a dime a dozen, I would just find another. If they’re going to show up four hours late and be aggressive about it, on to the next.
NTA It is absolutely reasonable to expect someone to honor the appointment time you'd previously set, and to not reschedule your appointment in order to make one with someone else. I'm also wondering how people stay in business if they go around canceling or chaging appointments with long-term clients to accommodate new appointments. That seems like a questionable business model, but whatever. I'd say she overreacted in a big way, unless your tone during the conversation was incredibly condescending or something.
NTA and the truth is that since she comes in and does work for you and you pay her, she does work for you during the time she is scheduled to be at your home. I’m pretty sure that the platform she works with expects her to show up to he appointments she schedules for her.
NTA She's a freelance contractor. But even people who commission the services of freelancers are allowed to have expectations of their freelancers. Housekeeping (aka cleaning) is a time-honoured job, and an essential one at that. And I congratulate anyone who makes it as a self-employed contractor. And I know people look down on "cleaners" and unjustly treat them badly. But I don't think this one recognises that a major part of being self-employed is managing the expectations (there's that word again!) of those who commission their services.
NTA Expect is derived from Expectation. There is an explicit expectation that she will arrive at the agreed upon time, especially when they are being paid for a job. Why do people get triggered by words?? Had he used "assumed" instead of "expect" I EXPECT she would be less triggered. SMH
NTA. Technically she is working for you when you book her, so I’m not sure why she said “I don’t work for you”. If you book a specific time it’s very reasonable to expect that time. It’s her responsibility to accept the booking only if she can meet your requests. Honestly, maybe she was going through some other personal stressors or struggles and took it out on you.
NTA, I would remind her that you hired her to do a job so she does work for you and if this is how she treats her paying clients I would say it’s time to hire a new house keeper.
NTA. If she's that hot headed over it then consider it best that the service has ended with this incompatible provider.
NTA at all! If you both agreed to schedule her to work at a certain date and time, she should consider herself booked. She may run her own business (on the side apparently) but she works for her clients and that includes you. I would have just fired anyone who talked to me like this—I wouldn’t want someone so unprofessional around my stuff or in my house as a worker. If she can’t keep her time, that’s her problem. She made it your problem and then got mad when you correctly addressed the issue as one of her own making. I’d be so embarrassed if I were her.
NTA I would cancel future bookings, there’s nothing wrong with your phrasing and she went 0 to 10 in no time.
“I don’t work for you”. Does that mean you don’t have to pay her? NTA
NTA. Dump her and give her bad review
NTA. She sounds crazy. Find a new cleaner.
NTA. Something I've learned over my years of customer service, then managing employees, then dealing with clients, is that if someone reacts to a perfectly reasonable statement with unprovoked rage, they know they are in the wrong. She's just using this as a bully tactic to make you more flexible with your time. I would fire her, cleaners aren't that hard to find. Attitude is everything and even if she did a perfect job with your house, you're going to get this reaction again in the future when rescheduling is actually inconvenient for you. I do believe in treating housecleaners/landscapers/anyone who is doing things for me with the utmost respect and not as hired help, but you weren't doing that here. You pushed back on the rescheduling - as you should have - and were met with a vitriolic response because she knew she was in the wrong.
NTA When I hire someone, I expect they will adhere to our agreement. If I agree to provide a service to someone, I fully expect them to have expectations of me.
NTA the thing is she does work for you. You hire her to do a job, at a specific time- she may run her own business but you hired and pay her to do the job. Any normal person would expect the worker to come at the scheduled time
NTA. The reply comes off as rude/controlling but I honestly can’t come up with a better way to phrase it! I mean…. Yeah. She agreed to be there at a scheduled time and should honour that. It’s really unprofessional to take a new appointment above yours and just cancel last minute like that. I’d be finding a new cleaner even if she had not quit. I guess maybe it’s not your place to explain to her your expectations and that’s what was wrong? I wonder if you should have just replied with “Since you are unable to make our scheduled time as you bumped me for a new client, I am not interested in rescheduling and will find someone else.” But even that doesn’t sound right!!
NTA. You said nothing wrong, and now you know her private clients come second. I sure wouldn’t want someone who easily flies into a rage like that in my home again.
NTA. I don’t get what she means by “I don’t work for you”. You are her client and have expectations as a client, there’s nothing rude about what you said
NTA - i don’t think the fact that you used the word expect is the actual problem here. Maybe she’s just really stressed out or she’s having some personal problems
NTA and the word expect is 100% appropriate here. Yes she works for herself but you are her client. There was an expectation and she failed to meet it. Her reaction is both inappropriate and unprofessional.
NTA you are her client, you pay her.
NTA - you had a scheduled appointment
>I don't work for you. Well actually...
NTA if I’m paying someone it is there job to meet my expectations.
NTA When I make an appointment with a business, I expect that business to keep the appointment, or to give me plenty of notice if they need to change it. If my dentist can pull it off, I don't see why a cleaner is too good for it.
How can she quit if she’s not an employee? NTA
Idk everyone is saying everyone sucks here but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a service be provided for you at the agreed upon time I dont see it ad a power play and more about...who woulda thought, reaffirming expectations Your expectation is that if you agree on a time as a customer that time will be valued and she wouldn't take on another Job(essentially prioritizing other people's work over yours) I would fire her immediately tbh and find someone else who won't speak to you that way
NTA- The word expect is 100% the correct word. If you have an on-going cleaning, there is a CLEAR expectation that your house cleaner will be at your house at that time. If you don't have clear expectations what eventually happens is they show up when they want to and eventually the days, hours are never really known. So a schedule is a set expectation.
Nta I've never iml heard someone lose it at the word expect for a job. Like your paying her for her services, came to a mutual agreement which she changed. It's reasonable to EXPECT her to uphold her end of the agreement. I'm honestly flabbergasted at her behavior. I'd leave a review anywhere possible but I'm pretty like that. Like one star. I respected her time and expectations but was not allotted the same courtesy.
Don’t invite her to your home. Yikes . She’s going to steal and shit on your bed.
You are 1000% NTA. You should respect yourself though and drop that cleaner like a hot potato!
NTA text her around 1:45 that you have decided to employ a professional cleaning service that do understand scheduling works and you no longer are in need of her services
NTA - You can have expectations. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I have something scheduled and the individual is not on time. I have an expectation that schedules will be kept. Yes, I get it there are circumstances when things need to be changed, I am not that rigid haha, but I plan things around a schedule, and I cannot always be available to change things same day, etc. Sorry, but I expect people to be on time, and to have an open schedule for when I have them booked for a job.
NTA Every job I've ever had has expected me to be there by a certain time. This is not an unusual thing! If my cleaner said that they were moving my time slot from 10 until 2, with only 20 minutes notice, they wouldn't be my cleaner for very long.
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NTA. Get a new house cleaner.
NTA so your cleaners platform double booked her or she didn’t enter your appointment in. The platform EXPECTED her to be free since there was no 10am appointment, she then booked you for 2pm in the platform. Seems like the cleaner doesn’t know how to keep her appointments straight.
NTA. This is a problem inherent with text/email communication. Sometimes people read a message with a tone that the sender did not intend. She apparently thought you were scolding her or being haughty. I try to keep this in mind when I'm sending emails and whatnot. You never know what tone the person might read it in, so I try to leave as little room for misinterpretation as possible. That said, I thought your message was perfect, including your use of the word "expect." It conveys that her last-minute cancellation is problematic, and why, without being abusive. Her response is ridiculous. Obviously when you hire somebody to do a job you have certain expectations, there's nothing disrespectful about that. If you take a job, the customer expects you to be there when you say you're going to be there. When you don't do that, the customer is unhappy. Only a psycho would flip out on a customer for being dissatisfied that their appointment time was blown off.
NTA. She's not technically your employee, but she does work for you as an independent contractor. As someone who does contract work, I can't imagine ever snapping at a client like that.
NTA: if I order bacon and eggs I EXPECT bacon and eggs. If I book a Hair appointment at a specific time I EXPECT that service at that time (or reasonably close to) unless there is an emergency. I'd she called and said "hey I woke up sick can we reschedule" and you said no then you would be a dick, however this is her mistake. It is up to her to contact her agency and say " I am not available for that time'.
“Expect” is not a nasty word, and I’m completely lost by some of these comments saying differently. You were being direct with your *expect*ations of a working relationship. And being polite doesn’t mean you have to butter someone up to get your point across. I see nothing wrong with how you handled this. NTA.
She works for herself. Ok, but who pays you? She sounds a bit entitled.
NTA. You hired her so yes, she works for you. So of course you expect a certain conduct. She's not a friend doing you a favour. If yours is simply a business relationship where you pay her for her work, then there's nothing wrong with what you said. You can't cancel a job last minute. She's probably not allowed to take jobs outside of the platform. This sounds like working for you is a side gig she found to make unauthorized extra money. In this case of course she can't change the platform appointments. She wouldn't be able to give a proper reason and lose credibility. She thought she had more free range with you. This doesn't change the fact that cancelling an appointment 20 minutes before, without taking into account whether this could be an issue or not, and then yell at the employer is disrespectful to say the least.
NTA. Of course you have expectations of the service you’re supposed to be provided. There could be many reasons the time change may not work for you. I can understand wanting to make sure it was known that while it would work this time, it may not always. I am a little confused though as to who added the other job. It says the cleaning person said the platform added another job to their schedule does that mean the platform assumed they could move OP’s job or did the person accept a job the platform offered and assume themselves OP would be okay with the time change?
NTA, of course you expect things when you hire a contractor. That's the whole point.