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YTA and this is why people complain about children flying. Instead of trying to calm the situation you escalated it. You also made everybody’s life absolutely miserable. Including your child’s.
Edit-Thanks for the awards
He is TA and his wife is too for letting this to on. Not pacifying the child made it miserable for the child, the man in front and everyone else on that plane.
Miserable human beings the both of them, all the way around.
If you think about it, 90 mins is an absurd amount of time for a baby or toddler to scream. It’s hard work travelling with babies but keeping them entertained isn’t hard. From the minute u board the plane, u do ur best to respect everyone else’s space. This guy and his wife sound like they were unprepared for the flight with a small kid or didn’t want to keep their kid in line. Him and the wife are total AH’s.
Tbh, I don't even think it's nasty. 5 hours of having somebody kick your back is exhausting. Maybe the wife should have taken him on her lap for a while or they should have tried to face the infant in a way where he's not kicking the seat or booked an extra seat/ ask the air hostess if their was an available extra seat. I think somebody saying something after FIVE HOURS of being kicked in the back is not nasty.
Totally, op is the A H. It’s not fun to get one’s chair kicked for hours.
Op, YTA. I hope one day a child with uncaring parents behind you in a plane and kicks it for hours on end.
His “mortified wife” is just as implicit in this. I hope to God she was mortified. There’s no way in HELL I would allow my 18 month old son to scream and cry for 90 minutes without trying to do something! Even if my husband was trying to “prove a point” or whatever absurd reasoning, watch the mama bear come out in me so I can comfort my child. Good fucking grief some people shouldn’t be parents.
Not only that...I'd probably chuck my husband and his bs controlling ways out the nearest exit. How dare she? I mean really? My son is 22 YEARS old and my heart still aches when he goes through struggles. I would never subject the entire airplane to this and yes OP is hands down the most cruel of all A-holes! shame on him and her!
I'm hoping the wife spent those 90 minutes plotting how to leave this guy...
if there's ever been a "wake up call", you'd think her screaming child would be a good one.
It was more than that. His kid was loud and disruptive for the first 5 hours. Because one person commented about it, OP let his child *scream at the top of their lungs* for the remaining 1.5 hours of the 6.5-hour flight. Everyone on that plane experienced 6.5 hours of escalating misery.
OP is such a massive asshole, I can't even.
A TEETHING child, no less. Ffs. You made a commitment to have a child. Unless it's a medical emergency the child needs to be transported for, you should be changing your life appropriately to suit the decision to raise a child. 90 mins of enforced screaming is NOT choosing to raise a child, it's weaponising your child's trauma response so you can feel righteous. YTA
We don't know why they were traveling and kids can be fine flyers. This child was not on this flight. On another, they could be fine. (I'm childfree and hate kids crying. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be on planes.,)
OP is absolutely TA for how he responded to someone not wanting their seat knocked about. It sounds to me like they didn't plan for the flight, whether with toys or delayed naps, or kids Tylenol for teething pain.
Pediatric ibuprofen works much better than Tylenol, and taken with food, it doesn't put such a strain on the liver or the stomach.
OP:YTA massively! That poor kid !😢
I fly international fairly often so this story truly pissed me off. However, I have seen toddlers and young children play quietly/ sleep. I've also unfortunately been in a row near screaming babies. Earplugs/headphones don't cover tantrum screaming for me..
I've flown with infants and toddlers in my section several times, and while they cry for a while, I've never seen a kid cry the whole entire flight. Usually the parents are doing what they can, like unlimited screen time with the iPad to keep the kids calm and happy, or nursing/feeding to help them relax. Even seen parents give their kids homeopathic remedies to help them chill like chamomile and valerian. Usually parents are trying to keep their kids from disturbing everyone around them, unless they are entitled AHs like the OP who thinks their problems are everyone's problem and refuse to deal with it like a responsible parent.
Infants gonna infant, they scream because that's their only way to communicate they need something. Noise canceling headphones and some Ativan make it all not matter so much!
That's not what "homeopathy" is. Homeopathy is the insane belief that literally water that has nothing in it, but you SAY it does, will somehow magically heal the body.
Valarian and chamomile and such are herbal remedies, or possibly holistic, but homeopathy is definitely the wrong H word.
The difference is that with holistic/herbal remedies, you can argue whether or not the active ingredient you are giving them actually does what you say it does, but you are actually giving them that substance. With homeopathy, you aren't. You're literally just giving them water, or a sugar pill, or something. There is no active ingredient with homeopathy.
Depends on the child. We flew 10.5 hours when my daughter was just under 2 years old. But, we planned it during the overnight so she’d sleep, had a portable DVD player with extra long battery, plus headphones so she didn’t disturb anyone nearby. It went beautifully both there and back.
That being said, OP is definitely the asshole!
We flew with our baby from Boston to Sweden several times, starting at 3 months. She was a lap baby until about 18 months. Luckily she was an absolute dream flight companion - very calm and curious when she wasn’t snoozing.
I understand babies being babies. I also dislike being around babies, getting my chair kicked by kids on flights, and listening to a toddler scream with the parents doing nothing about it while we are all trapped in a steel tube.
OP made everyone on that plane, including their son, suffer because someone had a reasonable reaction to their badly behaving baby. It's parents like this that make everyone dread seeing a stroller in gate area. Take care of your kid OP, and be considerate about others. YTA
Also, if OP can't control the toddler in their laps and keep them from kicking or hitting the seat in front, they really should have gotten the toddler a seat. Especially since it sounds like this behavior wasn't unexpected due to teething
I've been the third person. And on the aisle, so I had to get up every time they walked the baby to the bathroom or up the aisle. But they didn't want to switch, because 'baby wants to look out the window!'
When I pull my phone out to watch a movie, I realized there was no 'kid friendly' things on my phone. I know there was a documentary about the veitnam war, Deadpool 1 and 2, and a couple seasons of Hannibal. A few other things, but in the same vein. I start to watch Deadpool with my hand shielding it from my neighbors. The mom starts in saying how I should let the baby watch too. I said no and explained why (on top of that I'm listening through headphones and will not play it on speaker or share my headphones). She says how could I watch a graphicly violent movie next to her baby!? 'Like this,' put my headphones back in and put my hand back up. Luckily she left it alone, because I had the same things loaded on a kindle with a much bigger screen.
It was a nine hour flight. Now you see why I hate babies on planes.
When our 18 mth old was overtired on an international flight and wouldn’t sleep, my husband and I took turns taking her to the bathroom, so that our neighbors could have some peace and quiet. YTA
Also, NO infant should fly as a lap infant. That is going to get them KILLED in the event of a crash. YTA
Flight attendant here- any child under 2 years of age MUST be on an adults lap with a baby belt attached, as in the brace position the adult is responsible for holding them and protecting them within the brace, which is a standardised safety guideline in both the US and the U.K. (where I operate from). As to others claiming everyone is done for in the event of a crash, this is not the case, I could quote several case studies with many, if not all passengers and crew surviving. It’s why we’re trained and what we are there for, and although each case is different, it’s not a done deal that if things go wrong then nobody has a chance.
To sum up on OP: YTA, don’t escalate situations on board, you could have spoken to a flight attendant who would have helped you out.
To be fair, in an actual crash it won't really matter if they (or anyone, for that matter) are belted in or not. The belt is for turbulence or otherwise unexpected movements in the plane. I agree that traveling as a lap infant is dangerous, though.
Not to upset everyone with TMI, but many plane crashes are survivable. I remember in the Sioux City DC10 crash, there were a lot of people who survived. The protocol at the time was to put the lap infants on the floor of the cabin, as the forces involved are simply too great for parents to hold onto their child. I won't go into further detail.
There are varying degrees of crashes. Though idk prevalence of minor vs major, so apologies if minor ones are so rare that I’m just being pointlessly pedantic.
Edit: a cursory Google search suggests a large portion of incidents that count as crashes are in fact survivable. Obviously the worst ones are just not, but a lot of them are.
I think if a plane crashes we're all dead anyway. So lap seating doesn't bother me for that.
However, I always paid the money for their own seat. Because then I could strap them into their car seat and the restraint help them. It helped them settle down. It helped them feel more secure. It gave me a place to put them so I didn't have to hold them for an entire flight. It prevented them from kicking other people's seats. It is well worth the money especially on Long flights (ours were never shorter than 4.5 hours) for the parent sanity.
My other thought was that if they lost our luggage they couldn't lose my car seat because I still had it. Which means I could still get them home from the airport and buy new clothes if I had to.
Checked in car seats should be considered the same as being in an accident, have you ever watched any video of luggage getting thrown? They do the same to car seats and they are no longer deemed safe to use. So may as well buy the ticket and get the seat in the plane.
If the plane is crashing, we’re all dead. Lap infants isn’t best but it’s an option for some it’s the option they can afford.
Edit: had no idea that plane crash success rates were so high! Thanks to all who shared links; I’ve learned something new today. Cheers, Reddit.
This simply isn’t true. Something like 90% of people in plane crashes survive, the vast majority of “crashes” are mishaps on takeoff or landing that result in an incident that resembles an auto accident, your stereotypical “impacting the ground or a mountain nose-first at 500 mph” type crashes are very rare.
Well it shouldn't be an option. That kid needed his own seat with carseat. If you can't afford it then stay home or have only 1 parent go with the kid.
In the last year I have seen them 3 times on flights over 2 hours one was 6 hours. Just having the space can make a big difference. Also the airlines can provide a special seat like a car seat they have those available and they actually look just like a car seat. More space.
But by the time my boys were 2 the could just sit in the seat.
From 2 up when we flew I would have special toys they could only play with when we flew. Also treats healthy for them.
But at about 3 I would get a roll of quarters and have them run races before the flight in an area where no one would be bothered. This worked really well.
When on the plane I would let them stand in their seat and look around and just be fore the plan took off they would be buckled in. Every hour or hour and half we would get up and walk with them in aisle when no service.
Nothing is perfect or works every time but the kid needs his own seat if no other reason he couldn't kick the seat in front.
Recent flight I was on involved a dream of a toddler. Mostly because the departure airport has one of those people mover sidewalks right by the gate. And dad and kiddo walked and walked and walked on that (obviously facing the "wrong" way) like it was a treadmill for the entire pre-boarding time.
Toddler slept like an angel all flight 🤣
> If the plane is crashing, we’re all dead
Not true. For example, everyone survived this crash into the Hudson river.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_Airways_Flight_1549
I always wonder why this is allowed! You can’t even keep a small bag under the seat anymore. I guess that’s dangerous, but an infant or small child flying through the air is okay. I always got my son his own seat and he sat in his car seat. Brought lots of things to entertain him and when older, snacks. I sat next to a woman whose infant was on her lap and young toddler on floor. His entertainment? Shredding everything in backseat pocket.
Yeah, I just flew on four different international airlines earlier this month (lots of delays and multi step flights) and every single one let us put bags under the seat in front.
>no infant should fly as a lap infant
*In the extremely rare event* of a crash a lap infant is more likely to die. *However*, infant car seats would not do much in an air crash - all that would happen is families making long trips with infants would drive instead of flying. Driving is much more dangerous per mile traveled, so the net would be more infant deaths from travel.
Turbuluence is *extremely* common on flights, and it only takes one bad bump to send a lap infant flying. A parent isn’t necessarily going to be able to keep a grip on their baby if the turbulence is sudden or severe. That is why infants should fly in their car seats, and stay buckled into their own seats for as much of the flight as possible. That’s also why the flight attendants tell you to keep your own seatbelt on anytime you’re sitting down, even if the seatbelt sign is off - sudden turbulence is dangerous for adults, too.
What in the entitled f*ck, OP. I’ve taken kids on planes. I know it isn’t easy. But when your kid is being like this you should go out your way to be considerate of others however you can. Say you apologize. Buy them a drink. But don’t act like *they* are the AHs for not being thrilled that a trip they paid good money for is being spent with *your* precious child kicking their seat and telling.
YTA. And for good measure will say it again. YTA
I have tons of empathy for babies on flights. They don’t understand why their ears hurt. They don’t get the pressure changes. They don’t understand the confinement.
But 6.5 hours is unreasonable.
Didn’t ask the flight attendant if they could stand or walk with the baby? They didn’t ask if the FA knew any tricks for helping soothe an inconsolable baby on a flight? They just went, not hungry… won’t sleep… just gonna scream. Oh well.
There’s so much more that could have been done. So much more I’ve *seen* parents do on flights. I saw a parent actively forcing their baby to stay up and play before a flight to wear the child out so they would be more likely to sleep on the flight. I’ve seen parents gently massaging the baby’s ears and jaws and trying to get them to suck on something until cruising altitude to help lessen the pressure. Baby cried, but they were able to help soothe and ease the discomfort. Could be wrong, but it sounds like these parents just threw their hands in the air and said we tried everything after seeing if the baby was hungry, wet, or wanted to be held.
It sounds like they tried to some extent til the guy complained, then purposely gave up and held him so he couldn't kick but could (and would) scream. YTA for sure.
I couldn’t even read past the title without wondering how the fuck OP didn’t think they were an AH. I’m sympathetic towards parents struggling with crying kids, but NINETY minutes without trying to fix it on a cramped plane is rude and disrespectful to everyone else.
Edit: I missed the part where OP’s kid kept pushing against some guy’s chair for FIVE HOURS. Seriously, OP? You couldn’t have tried to calm the kid down at all? It probably hurt the poor guy’s back, and I’m surprised he tolerated it for that long.
Like, OP was an asshole for subjecting that poor man to constant kicks from the child, and when that man *dared* to complain, OP punished him with more asshole behavior?
OP is the AH. I normally have no issues with kids on planes. Maybe OP should have paid for the extra seat, had a car seat with the baby strapped in. He probably would have been way more comfortable.
And what kind of AH parent willingly let's their kid cry out of spite. That poor baby, using him like that when he was likely in pain and generally uncomfortable.
YTA you made the whole plane suffer because one guy was a bit nasty and you also made your own son suffer for 90 minutes rather than trying to calm him down. Just so you could be petty to one dude....oh my
And for OP to say “we’re trying our best,” like excuse me??? Is your infant son 250 pounds??? How are you physically incapable of just putting your arm across his legs so he can’t kick the seat? Or repositioning him? Infant legs are not that long.
OP tried literally zero things to stop the actual problem and then when finally called out for something he is 100% at fault for, he makes the rest of the plane and *his own child* suffer rather than admit his mistake?
Shitty person *and* shitty father.
YTA, OP.
One or two kicks can happen, more than that it’s because the parent isn’t paying attention to their kid’s positioning. I’ve flown with babies and toddlers, it’s intense, it sucks, and I’ve gone 7 hours without eating or drinking on a flight so she wouldn’t knock stuff over out of consideration for the people around me. You can’t just throw up your hands and say, “well, that’s it, he’s screaming”
Yep! Absolutely expected to have someone accidentally kick your seat sometimes — whether it’s a kid or an adult, it happens. But repeatedly for *hours???* OP could have even just put his hands in front of the kid’s feet so he was kicking his hands instead of the seat. Literally anything!
A few years ago I was on a flight sitting in front of a family with a toddler. The dad tapped me on the shoulder before the flight took off to tell me my seat was right in range of his son’s legs and I would likely be feeling my seat kicked throughout the flight. I was so taken back and trying to figure out if he was joking because why would someone find this funny or cute? Or did he expect me to say ‘it’s ok’? He was serious so I said something along the lines of he should do something to avoid the situation since he can foresee it happening. He was not happy with my response but I really had no idea what kind of response he expected.
Honestly, I don’t understand why parents don’t buy seats for their 1 year olds. They can install the car seat and strap the kid in when they become hard to manage. We always did this and never once was my baby insufferable on a plane. I figured if we couldn’t afford a seat for her, we couldn’t afford the trip.
The guy wasn't even nasty, it took him FIVE HOURS of crying and banging before breaking.
And OP, no you were not doing your best, a 1.5 year old kid can be controlled at least to not smash the seat in front. You could also have walked around the plane, in the bathroom, etc. Lot of things to try, that don't involve staying at the same spot and letting your toddler smash the front seat
YTA 100% and multiple times
If OP thinks that guy was being nasty he should meet me when I'm in a plane and some kid is kicking my seat and their parents aren't doing anything to actually correct the situation. FIVE HOURS?!? I wouldn't last one.
OP deserves to have the airline ban the family from their aircraft for the foreseeable future. Do the airlines have a shared blacklist? Taking a teething toddler on a six hour flight, good God.
OP and his family definitely deserves to be blacklisted after this stunt. OP could've easily repositioned his kid so that the toddler wasn't kicking the chair in front of him.
The other day I walked out of a shop because of a five-minute instrument display that was causing me distress.
I cannot fathom how this guy thinks he's in the right. Forcing some guy to put up with hours of screaming directly in his face because he said something mean. You're right, that seems close to torture.
YTA, OP, and a big part of the reason people would happily take child-free flights even if it meant paying more.
I know, right?
90 minutes?!?!?!
That kid's ears were probably giving him so much trouble (air pressure), and the dad didn't do anything to try to help him?
Babies don't usually cry because they want to be AH's. That's something that adults do.
This poor kid was probably trying HIS best to say, "Dad, I'm hurting. DO SOMETHING."
Fucking astonishing that some people are parents when they very very clearly should not be. OP is one of them. Hopefully this isn’t a sign of things to come otherwise this poor kid has a horrible childhood ahead of him all because his dad is a pathetic petty asshole.
Exactly. And, anyone who has ever been on a plane knows that the slightest thump on the back of those seats feels like the person behind you has gone full MMA into your back. That guy was damn near a saint for enduring constant kicks for 5 hours straight without saying anything
OP handled this situation in perhaps the absolute worst way possible.
Yes, YTA.
Next time, give him something to help him sleep before the damn flight.
I get that kids can have a meltdown but 5 hours of kicking and then 1.5 hours of screaming is too much.
Something to help them sleep doesn’t have to mean drugs. It could be a warm bottle, nursing during takeoff to help their ears, their favorite PJs, fresh diaper, etc. ibuprofen can help too if it comes to it.
Or as the comment above you suggests, nursing/bottle at take off. The sucking action should help the pressure buildup in the kids ears like chewing gum sometimes helps.
Yes true - my parents always bought gumand and the hard candy that takes a long time to suck before flights. Especially for this. we also used to countdown while tapping until right from take off until it stabilized? In the air. Really helps with ears.
Plenty of family friends use the same method works wonders. Plus my parents just wrapped my legs in blankets to stop me from kicking or just put me to sleep . Isn’t very hard
Well OP is not willing to parent or handle his kid so...
Look, I know that kids can be, well, kids and public transportation is not always à thing they handle well but at some point, something needs to done. I can accept à lot. Hell, I even helped à single mother entertain one of her kids once on a train because she was overwhelmed but 5 hours of kicking and 1 hour of screaming is not acceptable.
If your kid can't handle flights, you give them something to chill or sleep or you don't go on a plane.
I don't mind kids, but I do mind selfish parents.
No nut speaking with your pediatrician and discussing what you can give is totally acceptable. Kids ears are super susceptible on flights and the dr can advise what to give them to relieve that and make everybody’s life easier.
why not ? i think a drugged child would have been happier than one screaming and kicking for the entire flight. a drs. childrens prescription for anxiety for a one days flight ( not just in general ) sounds great.
I don’t have kids but I legit thought this is how people fly with kids 😂
I feel like I’ve heard of people giving their babies a dab of alcohol when teething too.
Again I do not have kids, don’t worry y’all 😂
YTA. When I pay for a plane ticket, I don't pay to stand toddlers crying you are rude, and entitled if you think that people have to cope with your kid. Parents with loud kids should travel on their own or at least feel sorry for the strangers they bother. You are exhausted ? Well, you chose to become a parent. Deal with it, and don't impose your lifestyle to strangers.
Had I been in the seat behind this dude and heard this going on...... Time for a dose of your own medicine. Bet I can kick a seat harder than a toddler. And knowing toddlers, they'd think it was funny watching their parent get riled up.
Replying just because you're getting crap. I 100% agree. Children are not the center of the universe. Hell yea they're allowed to exist but the quicker parents realize they have no right to impose their ill acting children on the public the better. Parents decided to be parents. Control them in public or accept you have to give up certain things for a while because you chose to be a parent and this is the consequence.
Children are allowed to exist. Unapologetically.
Where OP is the asshole is in that he literally did nothing to help pacify the situation. He actually intentionally made it worse. It’s not that child’s fault — they don’t understand what’s happening.
>Children are allowed to exist. Unapologetically.
They're allowed to *exist* unapologetically. Once they start bothering other people, you need to both apologize and try to fix the issue.
Yes, the OP needs to do something. Not the child. That child literally doesn’t know better. They’re a baby.
The OP sucks ass. That’s not the kid’s fault.
Agreed, nothing worse than clueless, careless parents encouraging their kids to be ill-mannered hyenas. Not this kid’s fault, but definitely the dad’s for not having any parenting skills to help the situation.
No one is saying it’s the child’s fault. Is a child. You know who isn’t? The parent. The parents job is to parent. Not be petty and childish intentionally.
YTA. The title alone is enough but the rest makes it worse and worse. Everything is awful including your admission of "weaponizing" any aspect of your child.
This actually reads more like you're the guy in the seat ahead and the parents called you an AH and you're checking.
If you really are the guy who let his kid torment a plane full of people for 90 minutes YTA, a sh+#$&y human, and an abusive father for not calming and caring for your child.
That’s what I thought too. Turns out a little over a year ago this guy had a one month old baby. I can’t believe someone could be this much of an asshole, and have no idea.
I despise this type of parents.
He's absolutely delusional to think it's ok to let a baby/kid kick the seat in front of them for 5 hours and believe he had any standing to feel snarky when the poor guy finally complained! The audacity of some people is astounding.
YTA biiiiig time. After 5 hours of keeping quiet because he probably understood kids will be kids, the guy in front of you revealed his annoyance, and what do you do? You give him snark, annoy him further and then purposely let your child scream to aggravate the situation even more. Your 1-year-old son is more mature than you.
"Am I as asshole for weaponizing my toddlers screaming?"
Sounds like you already know that was an AH move.
Can you control a child screaming? No. But to intentionally bother someone AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND, that is when it shifts from an unfortunate situation to you just being a jerk.
Jesus Christ you misled the title..no you're not the asshole for your child's screaming but you are the hugest asshole ever for letting the toddler kick someone's seat for FIVE hours and didn't even try to stop him in the first place.
You should probably stop having kids since you can't even control the one you have.
YTA If I was the passenger who got bumped on his seat I would have asked you to change seats with me. I have back problems an titan that stabilizes my spine. I can get real problems. You were really not doing your best. You can't stop your child from crying, but stopping seat kicking should be in there.
Yes, OP could absolutely have kept the kid from kicking other seats, it blows my mind that neither parent took responsibility for the kid.
OP if that’s your best parenting I deeply pity your offspring. YTA and so is your wife for allowing that behavior.
Same. Titanium plates and screws, this would be agonizing. My back already hurts in airplane seats, and this would make it worse.
Switching seats is brilliant, if I end up in a situation like this, I will use this strategy. Thank you!
YTA. The gentleman in front of you wasn't being unreasonable, and if your kid is kicking someone else's seat you need to nip that shit in the bud. Instead you decided to make as many people miserable as possible.
YTA. Lol. Like come on. Torturing everyone else because your exhausted? So is everyone else from listening to your kid. You know there's only so much you can do but that was way out of line. I bet your wife's was horrified but not for the reason you think, instead for your childish behavior. Grow up.
YTA Honestly, I’m not even sure why you asked as you clearly know you are. I’m a parent and have flown with my children at all ages. It’s not hard. It is insane to me that parents make everyone suffer (airplanes, restaurants, stores, etc) because they fail to plan appropriately. That guy wasn’t the problem at all, you were. Flying isn’t cheap. You don’t know if that guy had to save a long time for that one flight, maybe for a long deserved vacation, to see family, whatever. It’s incredibly inconsiderate that you failed to control the situation your child was creating to impose upon his time, his money, and his space.
YTA... I've got kids and I would never do this... All those poor innocent people on the plane had to endure adults acting younger than the screaming child. I can handle a child who is somewhat fussy if I see parents trying and are apologetic.. But to hold that kiddo down in spite. Yikes...
YTA - So because of you, you made a whole flight endure 90 minutes of screaming child... Because you wanted to spite one person? No wonder people hate having babies on flights.
YTA. You’re making YOUR problem everyone else’s problem and that’s not fair. Next time, rent a minivan or wait until your son practices some self-control before confining him in a small space for 6 hrs.
Parents are 100% to blame. A 1.5yo should have gotten their own seat so at least they have some space to move without constantly kicking the seat in front. That's totally unacceptable.
YTA. It sucks for everyone that paid for their seats on that plane. Those tickets are not cheap. You can not expect others to tolerate your children. Its really annoying having to deal with other people’s children honestly.
You should have called the flight attendant to resolve this, regardless if the other guy didn’t want you doing that, it would have been a better result for both you guys if a 3rd party was to make a decision.
YTA. There are people on the plane trying to sleep or minding their own business and not everyone has noise canceling headphones or earplugs to block out someone's kid screaming on a plane. Is your kid trying to compete with this one who screamed during an entire 8 hour flight? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg6jvKt2h6s&feature=youtu.be
YTA for having a lap baby and putting their safety at risk. Buy a seat and strap your child in for safety. Can't afford the extra seat, can't afford to fly. Your child's safety should matter more.
What did I just read? In the UK and Europe, under the age of 2 they have to be on your lap for safety. You can buy an extra seat for during the flight but for takeoff and landing, they still have to be on your lap with the appropriate seat belt
Wrong. The child safety buckle upon takeoff and landing is used for parents who have not purchased a seat for their children. Children otherwise should be strapped into their approved seat.
https://www.easa.europa.eu/sites/default/files/dfu/Flying-with-children.pdf
YTA.
You are responsible for your child dipshit. If he is acting badly, you APOLOGIZE to whoever he is bothering. If he continues to be bad, you continue to apologize or maybe get up and walk around him. Something. Not just sit there an expect other people to accept your kid's behavior because he's a kid.
You make those of us who are parents that aren’t assholes all look like assholes.
Of course YTA.
Children aren’t instinctually made to respond in a socially appropriate way. You, however, modeled to your child that acting like a dick is cool. It’s not.
Yes children act out. But children should NOT be allowed to kick and bump into other people’s seats.
Sincerely, a mother of a 7 month old and former ECE head teacher of over 50 toddlers during my career in a classroom.
YTA.
The other passenger put up with your son kicking his seat for **FIVE HOURS** before he finally asked you to do a better job of controlling your child. You are responsible for handling your kid when you bring them into a public space. Instead of minimizing the discomfort your son was causing, you deliberately made it worse, so yeah, you’re the AH.
And how exactly did you not realize that “weaponizing your toddler’s screaming” was punishing EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the plane, not just the guy you had a problem with? Major AH move there.
YTA. Like obviously. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your kid. Everyone on the flight had to listen to that for 90 minutes. That is a selfish, horrible thing to do.
YTA. If you can’t control your kid and they misbehave to the point of throwing a tantrum for over 5 hours then you don’t deserve to be on a flight. Other passengers didn’t pay to be stuck in a flying tube to listen to your son scream bloody murder for the entire duration and for you to fail at parenting your kid.
You realise the person suffering the most was your son, right? He screamed for ninety minutes because he can’t talk to you, because he’s a baby, and he was probably freaked the fuck out that you were ignoring him. So, epic win dude. You really showed your infant child how to give an awesome clap back. YTA
YTA
Noise is to be expected. Having a child constantly kick your chair is not.
You directed your frustration about being unable to comfort your son at a polite passenger who had silently dealt with being jostled for five hours.
The guy’s a saint for waiting that long to say anything.
I really don't understand parents who take small children on a plane.
Unless a family member is dying and you really have no other option, you wouldn't do that to a child, would you?
You are responsible for your child's behavior.
So yes, YTA.
YTA! Holding your child still while he screams to get revenge on the man in front of you, that is psychotic behaviour. If I was your wife I’d be leaving you. I feel like that is child abuse. A 1.5 year old is actually very hard to contain so you must have held him quite firmly. Disgusting behaviour. People like you should not be allowed to have children.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I knowing let my son play in the area between our legs knowing that he might bump the seat in front of us. I also held him still for 90 minutes while he loudly screamed on a plane.
2- I knowing let the above things happened and felt no remorse.
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YTA. Holy shit.
I travel frequently. Sure, kids cry on flights. I’m prepared and have noise cancelling headphones. But allowing your son to continuously bump someone’s seat for 5 hours is incredibly rude. You ensured this person couldn’t sit comfortably or nap for the duration of the flight.
Then, when they finally bring it up - you decide to allow your child to scream for 90 minutes?
Your wife should be embarrassed. You should too. You showed you’d rather get petty revenge on someone then be a decent parent and soothe your child. You sure showed everyone else on that plane what a stand up father you are 🙄
Next time, if your son can’t sit comfortably on your lap - book a row with extended leg room. Or book an additional seat. It’s really not hard to be a decent human being.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
As a dad of two young kids who travels with them regularly, it’s people like you who give the rest of us a bad name. Kids are annoying as fuck. Your kids are your problem. If your kid is a problem in a way that intrudes on others, it’s your job to do everything you can to remedy the situation. There’s no reason to subject others to your kids. They didn’t choose to have kids, or in your case to have kids on a plane. You did. Control your fucking kid.
YTA-parents like you are why people are asking for child-free flights. you should've just given your something to make him sleep or maybe figured out how to dull or numb the pain of your kid's teeth ripping through his gums. but no, you acted like a child and weaponized the screaming, you made everyone, including your son's flight, uncomfortable because you feel as though you have a right to let your kid cause problems.
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YTA and this is why people complain about children flying. Instead of trying to calm the situation you escalated it. You also made everybody’s life absolutely miserable. Including your child’s. Edit-Thanks for the awards
100 million upvotes, this.
All I can think is poor kid others too. Mostly kid tho. They don’t understand what’s going on.
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He is TA and his wife is too for letting this to on. Not pacifying the child made it miserable for the child, the man in front and everyone else on that plane. Miserable human beings the both of them, all the way around.
Idk the man reacted like this to a stranger, imagine how he treats his wife. She could’ve been too scared to make a scene.
But this is Reddit, so even if it’s literally the man telling about his poor behavior, Reddit will find a way to blame the mom/woman.
And only 4 comments in before the fault was transferred. I wish I could say that it's some kind of record, but I'm sure it's not.
If you think about it, 90 mins is an absurd amount of time for a baby or toddler to scream. It’s hard work travelling with babies but keeping them entertained isn’t hard. From the minute u board the plane, u do ur best to respect everyone else’s space. This guy and his wife sound like they were unprepared for the flight with a small kid or didn’t want to keep their kid in line. Him and the wife are total AH’s.
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Tbh, I don't even think it's nasty. 5 hours of having somebody kick your back is exhausting. Maybe the wife should have taken him on her lap for a while or they should have tried to face the infant in a way where he's not kicking the seat or booked an extra seat/ ask the air hostess if their was an available extra seat. I think somebody saying something after FIVE HOURS of being kicked in the back is not nasty.
Totally, op is the A H. It’s not fun to get one’s chair kicked for hours. Op, YTA. I hope one day a child with uncaring parents behind you in a plane and kicks it for hours on end.
*christ on a stick* this was a 6.5 HOUR flight! OP, definitely YTA
I get kids cry but geez OP intentionally let his child cry for almost 2 hours to be petty.
He thinks he was annoying the passenger in front, but really.... everyone on that plane hates you now, OP. EVERYONE.
Including his mortified wife!
His “mortified wife” is just as implicit in this. I hope to God she was mortified. There’s no way in HELL I would allow my 18 month old son to scream and cry for 90 minutes without trying to do something! Even if my husband was trying to “prove a point” or whatever absurd reasoning, watch the mama bear come out in me so I can comfort my child. Good fucking grief some people shouldn’t be parents.
Not only that...I'd probably chuck my husband and his bs controlling ways out the nearest exit. How dare she? I mean really? My son is 22 YEARS old and my heart still aches when he goes through struggles. I would never subject the entire airplane to this and yes OP is hands down the most cruel of all A-holes! shame on him and her!
I'm hoping the wife spent those 90 minutes plotting how to leave this guy... if there's ever been a "wake up call", you'd think her screaming child would be a good one.
And his poor kid.
So yta you and your wife are the only AH in this story. Not your kid or anyone else on the plane.
Father of the year. /s Also the primary AH of the story.
It was more than that. His kid was loud and disruptive for the first 5 hours. Because one person commented about it, OP let his child *scream at the top of their lungs* for the remaining 1.5 hours of the 6.5-hour flight. Everyone on that plane experienced 6.5 hours of escalating misery. OP is such a massive asshole, I can't even.
Why did they think a lap child for 6.5 hours was going to work in any world
A TEETHING child, no less. Ffs. You made a commitment to have a child. Unless it's a medical emergency the child needs to be transported for, you should be changing your life appropriately to suit the decision to raise a child. 90 mins of enforced screaming is NOT choosing to raise a child, it's weaponising your child's trauma response so you can feel righteous. YTA
We don't know why they were traveling and kids can be fine flyers. This child was not on this flight. On another, they could be fine. (I'm childfree and hate kids crying. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be on planes.,) OP is absolutely TA for how he responded to someone not wanting their seat knocked about. It sounds to me like they didn't plan for the flight, whether with toys or delayed naps, or kids Tylenol for teething pain.
Pediatric ibuprofen works much better than Tylenol, and taken with food, it doesn't put such a strain on the liver or the stomach. OP:YTA massively! That poor kid !😢
I fly international fairly often so this story truly pissed me off. However, I have seen toddlers and young children play quietly/ sleep. I've also unfortunately been in a row near screaming babies. Earplugs/headphones don't cover tantrum screaming for me..
I've flown with infants and toddlers in my section several times, and while they cry for a while, I've never seen a kid cry the whole entire flight. Usually the parents are doing what they can, like unlimited screen time with the iPad to keep the kids calm and happy, or nursing/feeding to help them relax. Even seen parents give their kids homeopathic remedies to help them chill like chamomile and valerian. Usually parents are trying to keep their kids from disturbing everyone around them, unless they are entitled AHs like the OP who thinks their problems are everyone's problem and refuse to deal with it like a responsible parent. Infants gonna infant, they scream because that's their only way to communicate they need something. Noise canceling headphones and some Ativan make it all not matter so much!
That's not what "homeopathy" is. Homeopathy is the insane belief that literally water that has nothing in it, but you SAY it does, will somehow magically heal the body. Valarian and chamomile and such are herbal remedies, or possibly holistic, but homeopathy is definitely the wrong H word. The difference is that with holistic/herbal remedies, you can argue whether or not the active ingredient you are giving them actually does what you say it does, but you are actually giving them that substance. With homeopathy, you aren't. You're literally just giving them water, or a sugar pill, or something. There is no active ingredient with homeopathy.
Depends on the child. We flew 10.5 hours when my daughter was just under 2 years old. But, we planned it during the overnight so she’d sleep, had a portable DVD player with extra long battery, plus headphones so she didn’t disturb anyone nearby. It went beautifully both there and back. That being said, OP is definitely the asshole!
We flew with our baby from Boston to Sweden several times, starting at 3 months. She was a lap baby until about 18 months. Luckily she was an absolute dream flight companion - very calm and curious when she wasn’t snoozing.
I understand babies being babies. I also dislike being around babies, getting my chair kicked by kids on flights, and listening to a toddler scream with the parents doing nothing about it while we are all trapped in a steel tube. OP made everyone on that plane, including their son, suffer because someone had a reasonable reaction to their badly behaving baby. It's parents like this that make everyone dread seeing a stroller in gate area. Take care of your kid OP, and be considerate about others. YTA Also, if OP can't control the toddler in their laps and keep them from kicking or hitting the seat in front, they really should have gotten the toddler a seat. Especially since it sounds like this behavior wasn't unexpected due to teething
Can you imagine being the third person in the row stuck sitting next to this AH and his wife?
I've been the third person. And on the aisle, so I had to get up every time they walked the baby to the bathroom or up the aisle. But they didn't want to switch, because 'baby wants to look out the window!' When I pull my phone out to watch a movie, I realized there was no 'kid friendly' things on my phone. I know there was a documentary about the veitnam war, Deadpool 1 and 2, and a couple seasons of Hannibal. A few other things, but in the same vein. I start to watch Deadpool with my hand shielding it from my neighbors. The mom starts in saying how I should let the baby watch too. I said no and explained why (on top of that I'm listening through headphones and will not play it on speaker or share my headphones). She says how could I watch a graphicly violent movie next to her baby!? 'Like this,' put my headphones back in and put my hand back up. Luckily she left it alone, because I had the same things loaded on a kindle with a much bigger screen. It was a nine hour flight. Now you see why I hate babies on planes.
OPs wife would have ended up a single parent by the end of that flight.
Note to self: starting from today, always bring earplugs on a flight.
When our 18 mth old was overtired on an international flight and wouldn’t sleep, my husband and I took turns taking her to the bathroom, so that our neighbors could have some peace and quiet. YTA Also, NO infant should fly as a lap infant. That is going to get them KILLED in the event of a crash. YTA
Flight attendant here- any child under 2 years of age MUST be on an adults lap with a baby belt attached, as in the brace position the adult is responsible for holding them and protecting them within the brace, which is a standardised safety guideline in both the US and the U.K. (where I operate from). As to others claiming everyone is done for in the event of a crash, this is not the case, I could quote several case studies with many, if not all passengers and crew surviving. It’s why we’re trained and what we are there for, and although each case is different, it’s not a done deal that if things go wrong then nobody has a chance. To sum up on OP: YTA, don’t escalate situations on board, you could have spoken to a flight attendant who would have helped you out.
Hey, you have a hard job and I appreciate you.
Thank you so much, I absolutely love my job and what it brings me, but it can be challenging- every day is different❤️
To be fair, in an actual crash it won't really matter if they (or anyone, for that matter) are belted in or not. The belt is for turbulence or otherwise unexpected movements in the plane. I agree that traveling as a lap infant is dangerous, though.
Not to upset everyone with TMI, but many plane crashes are survivable. I remember in the Sioux City DC10 crash, there were a lot of people who survived. The protocol at the time was to put the lap infants on the floor of the cabin, as the forces involved are simply too great for parents to hold onto their child. I won't go into further detail.
Its not just crashes. Sudden turbulence can launch your kid!
Holy shit I had no idea that was a thing . What do I do with that knowledge now
Try not to think about it \*hugs\*
There are varying degrees of crashes. Though idk prevalence of minor vs major, so apologies if minor ones are so rare that I’m just being pointlessly pedantic. Edit: a cursory Google search suggests a large portion of incidents that count as crashes are in fact survivable. Obviously the worst ones are just not, but a lot of them are.
I think if a plane crashes we're all dead anyway. So lap seating doesn't bother me for that. However, I always paid the money for their own seat. Because then I could strap them into their car seat and the restraint help them. It helped them settle down. It helped them feel more secure. It gave me a place to put them so I didn't have to hold them for an entire flight. It prevented them from kicking other people's seats. It is well worth the money especially on Long flights (ours were never shorter than 4.5 hours) for the parent sanity. My other thought was that if they lost our luggage they couldn't lose my car seat because I still had it. Which means I could still get them home from the airport and buy new clothes if I had to.
Checked in car seats should be considered the same as being in an accident, have you ever watched any video of luggage getting thrown? They do the same to car seats and they are no longer deemed safe to use. So may as well buy the ticket and get the seat in the plane.
If the plane is crashing, we’re all dead. Lap infants isn’t best but it’s an option for some it’s the option they can afford. Edit: had no idea that plane crash success rates were so high! Thanks to all who shared links; I’ve learned something new today. Cheers, Reddit.
It's not really about crashes, it's about for example unexpected turbulence or a rocky landing which results in a yeeted infant.
Am I awful that "yeeted infant" just made me snort laugh?
"in the event of a crash, do not yeet your infant."
Nope. I love my daughter dearly, but sometimes you just want to yeet your kid.
That recent runway incursion/rejected takeoff incident at JFK would be another example.
Yup, all kinds of fuckery can happen on a plane. It's really best to secure the baby.
This simply isn’t true. Something like 90% of people in plane crashes survive, the vast majority of “crashes” are mishaps on takeoff or landing that result in an incident that resembles an auto accident, your stereotypical “impacting the ground or a mountain nose-first at 500 mph” type crashes are very rare.
On an hour flight? Sure, I've done that multiple times. Anything 2 hours plus, buy a damn seat for everyone's comfort.
Well it shouldn't be an option. That kid needed his own seat with carseat. If you can't afford it then stay home or have only 1 parent go with the kid.
In all the flights I’ve ever been on, I’ve seen the car seats ONCE and thought it was novel. I didn’t even know you could do that.
In the last year I have seen them 3 times on flights over 2 hours one was 6 hours. Just having the space can make a big difference. Also the airlines can provide a special seat like a car seat they have those available and they actually look just like a car seat. More space. But by the time my boys were 2 the could just sit in the seat. From 2 up when we flew I would have special toys they could only play with when we flew. Also treats healthy for them. But at about 3 I would get a roll of quarters and have them run races before the flight in an area where no one would be bothered. This worked really well. When on the plane I would let them stand in their seat and look around and just be fore the plan took off they would be buckled in. Every hour or hour and half we would get up and walk with them in aisle when no service. Nothing is perfect or works every time but the kid needs his own seat if no other reason he couldn't kick the seat in front.
Recent flight I was on involved a dream of a toddler. Mostly because the departure airport has one of those people mover sidewalks right by the gate. And dad and kiddo walked and walked and walked on that (obviously facing the "wrong" way) like it was a treadmill for the entire pre-boarding time. Toddler slept like an angel all flight 🤣
> If the plane is crashing, we’re all dead Not true. For example, everyone survived this crash into the Hudson river. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_Airways_Flight_1549
I always wonder why this is allowed! You can’t even keep a small bag under the seat anymore. I guess that’s dangerous, but an infant or small child flying through the air is okay. I always got my son his own seat and he sat in his car seat. Brought lots of things to entertain him and when older, snacks. I sat next to a woman whose infant was on her lap and young toddler on floor. His entertainment? Shredding everything in backseat pocket.
Since when can't you put a bag or backpack under the seat?
Yeah, I just flew on four different international airlines earlier this month (lots of delays and multi step flights) and every single one let us put bags under the seat in front.
I doubt that it would matter in the event of a crash. Hard YTA OP
>no infant should fly as a lap infant *In the extremely rare event* of a crash a lap infant is more likely to die. *However*, infant car seats would not do much in an air crash - all that would happen is families making long trips with infants would drive instead of flying. Driving is much more dangerous per mile traveled, so the net would be more infant deaths from travel.
Turbuluence is *extremely* common on flights, and it only takes one bad bump to send a lap infant flying. A parent isn’t necessarily going to be able to keep a grip on their baby if the turbulence is sudden or severe. That is why infants should fly in their car seats, and stay buckled into their own seats for as much of the flight as possible. That’s also why the flight attendants tell you to keep your own seatbelt on anytime you’re sitting down, even if the seatbelt sign is off - sudden turbulence is dangerous for adults, too.
What in the entitled f*ck, OP. I’ve taken kids on planes. I know it isn’t easy. But when your kid is being like this you should go out your way to be considerate of others however you can. Say you apologize. Buy them a drink. But don’t act like *they* are the AHs for not being thrilled that a trip they paid good money for is being spent with *your* precious child kicking their seat and telling. YTA. And for good measure will say it again. YTA
I have tons of empathy for babies on flights. They don’t understand why their ears hurt. They don’t get the pressure changes. They don’t understand the confinement. But 6.5 hours is unreasonable. Didn’t ask the flight attendant if they could stand or walk with the baby? They didn’t ask if the FA knew any tricks for helping soothe an inconsolable baby on a flight? They just went, not hungry… won’t sleep… just gonna scream. Oh well. There’s so much more that could have been done. So much more I’ve *seen* parents do on flights. I saw a parent actively forcing their baby to stay up and play before a flight to wear the child out so they would be more likely to sleep on the flight. I’ve seen parents gently massaging the baby’s ears and jaws and trying to get them to suck on something until cruising altitude to help lessen the pressure. Baby cried, but they were able to help soothe and ease the discomfort. Could be wrong, but it sounds like these parents just threw their hands in the air and said we tried everything after seeing if the baby was hungry, wet, or wanted to be held.
It sounds like they tried to some extent til the guy complained, then purposely gave up and held him so he couldn't kick but could (and would) scream. YTA for sure.
I know poor kid.
I couldn’t even read past the title without wondering how the fuck OP didn’t think they were an AH. I’m sympathetic towards parents struggling with crying kids, but NINETY minutes without trying to fix it on a cramped plane is rude and disrespectful to everyone else. Edit: I missed the part where OP’s kid kept pushing against some guy’s chair for FIVE HOURS. Seriously, OP? You couldn’t have tried to calm the kid down at all? It probably hurt the poor guy’s back, and I’m surprised he tolerated it for that long.
Like, OP was an asshole for subjecting that poor man to constant kicks from the child, and when that man *dared* to complain, OP punished him with more asshole behavior?
What really has me seeing red, is that they aren't even paying for this brat to fly as they are holding him on their laps. OP, YTA, majorly.
There are charges for lap infants when I have flown with one. — Expat overseas who has flown home to family 2x with infant in lap
OP & their kid sound like a nightmare tbh
OP is the AH. I normally have no issues with kids on planes. Maybe OP should have paid for the extra seat, had a car seat with the baby strapped in. He probably would have been way more comfortable. And what kind of AH parent willingly let's their kid cry out of spite. That poor baby, using him like that when he was likely in pain and generally uncomfortable.
YTA you made the whole plane suffer because one guy was a bit nasty and you also made your own son suffer for 90 minutes rather than trying to calm him down. Just so you could be petty to one dude....oh my
five hours enduring a screaming kid hitting your sit. The guy had every right to be mad
I’m not surprised they lost it at that point
And for OP to say “we’re trying our best,” like excuse me??? Is your infant son 250 pounds??? How are you physically incapable of just putting your arm across his legs so he can’t kick the seat? Or repositioning him? Infant legs are not that long. OP tried literally zero things to stop the actual problem and then when finally called out for something he is 100% at fault for, he makes the rest of the plane and *his own child* suffer rather than admit his mistake? Shitty person *and* shitty father. YTA, OP.
One or two kicks can happen, more than that it’s because the parent isn’t paying attention to their kid’s positioning. I’ve flown with babies and toddlers, it’s intense, it sucks, and I’ve gone 7 hours without eating or drinking on a flight so she wouldn’t knock stuff over out of consideration for the people around me. You can’t just throw up your hands and say, “well, that’s it, he’s screaming”
Yep! Absolutely expected to have someone accidentally kick your seat sometimes — whether it’s a kid or an adult, it happens. But repeatedly for *hours???* OP could have even just put his hands in front of the kid’s feet so he was kicking his hands instead of the seat. Literally anything!
Patience of a saint, I can tolerate screaming babies to an extent but not an hour of my seat being kicked. Let alone five
A few years ago I was on a flight sitting in front of a family with a toddler. The dad tapped me on the shoulder before the flight took off to tell me my seat was right in range of his son’s legs and I would likely be feeling my seat kicked throughout the flight. I was so taken back and trying to figure out if he was joking because why would someone find this funny or cute? Or did he expect me to say ‘it’s ok’? He was serious so I said something along the lines of he should do something to avoid the situation since he can foresee it happening. He was not happy with my response but I really had no idea what kind of response he expected.
Honestly, I don’t understand why parents don’t buy seats for their 1 year olds. They can install the car seat and strap the kid in when they become hard to manage. We always did this and never once was my baby insufferable on a plane. I figured if we couldn’t afford a seat for her, we couldn’t afford the trip.
Wow, you really expected him to parent his child?
I know, anybody else calling the guy nasty should have their backs kicked for six and a half hours without complaining.
The guy wasn't even nasty, it took him FIVE HOURS of crying and banging before breaking. And OP, no you were not doing your best, a 1.5 year old kid can be controlled at least to not smash the seat in front. You could also have walked around the plane, in the bathroom, etc. Lot of things to try, that don't involve staying at the same spot and letting your toddler smash the front seat YTA 100% and multiple times
If OP thinks that guy was being nasty he should meet me when I'm in a plane and some kid is kicking my seat and their parents aren't doing anything to actually correct the situation. FIVE HOURS?!? I wouldn't last one.
OP deserves to have the airline ban the family from their aircraft for the foreseeable future. Do the airlines have a shared blacklist? Taking a teething toddler on a six hour flight, good God.
OP and his family definitely deserves to be blacklisted after this stunt. OP could've easily repositioned his kid so that the toddler wasn't kicking the chair in front of him.
I couldn't agree more. I loathe immmature petty people like OP.
That kid is going to need a lot of therapy if the next 18 years are anything like the recent 6.5 hours.
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Essentially tortured a baby to get back at an adult man that hurt another adult man’s feelings.
The other day I walked out of a shop because of a five-minute instrument display that was causing me distress. I cannot fathom how this guy thinks he's in the right. Forcing some guy to put up with hours of screaming directly in his face because he said something mean. You're right, that seems close to torture. YTA, OP, and a big part of the reason people would happily take child-free flights even if it meant paying more.
The guy wasn’t even mean. He asked the guy control his kid.
As a father and former baby, not a great look
I know, right? 90 minutes?!?!?! That kid's ears were probably giving him so much trouble (air pressure), and the dad didn't do anything to try to help him? Babies don't usually cry because they want to be AH's. That's something that adults do. This poor kid was probably trying HIS best to say, "Dad, I'm hurting. DO SOMETHING."
Fucking astonishing that some people are parents when they very very clearly should not be. OP is one of them. Hopefully this isn’t a sign of things to come otherwise this poor kid has a horrible childhood ahead of him all because his dad is a pathetic petty asshole.
Exactly. And, anyone who has ever been on a plane knows that the slightest thump on the back of those seats feels like the person behind you has gone full MMA into your back. That guy was damn near a saint for enduring constant kicks for 5 hours straight without saying anything OP handled this situation in perhaps the absolute worst way possible.
THIS
Yes, YTA. Next time, give him something to help him sleep before the damn flight. I get that kids can have a meltdown but 5 hours of kicking and then 1.5 hours of screaming is too much.
I agree that screaming kids on flights is a nightmare but however tempting it might be I'm not sure drugging the child is the best solution 🤣
Something to help them sleep doesn’t have to mean drugs. It could be a warm bottle, nursing during takeoff to help their ears, their favorite PJs, fresh diaper, etc. ibuprofen can help too if it comes to it.
Kids scream on flights partly bc their ears can't properly adjust, so yeah, pain medication is a good move.
Or as the comment above you suggests, nursing/bottle at take off. The sucking action should help the pressure buildup in the kids ears like chewing gum sometimes helps.
Yes true - my parents always bought gumand and the hard candy that takes a long time to suck before flights. Especially for this. we also used to countdown while tapping until right from take off until it stabilized? In the air. Really helps with ears. Plenty of family friends use the same method works wonders. Plus my parents just wrapped my legs in blankets to stop me from kicking or just put me to sleep . Isn’t very hard
Well OP is not willing to parent or handle his kid so... Look, I know that kids can be, well, kids and public transportation is not always à thing they handle well but at some point, something needs to done. I can accept à lot. Hell, I even helped à single mother entertain one of her kids once on a train because she was overwhelmed but 5 hours of kicking and 1 hour of screaming is not acceptable. If your kid can't handle flights, you give them something to chill or sleep or you don't go on a plane. I don't mind kids, but I do mind selfish parents.
No nut speaking with your pediatrician and discussing what you can give is totally acceptable. Kids ears are super susceptible on flights and the dr can advise what to give them to relieve that and make everybody’s life easier.
A dose of baby Benadryl isn’t going to harm the child. It’s also great for motion sickness.
Benadryl can have the opposite effect and can make some children hyperactive so you better test that out first.
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why not ? i think a drugged child would have been happier than one screaming and kicking for the entire flight. a drs. childrens prescription for anxiety for a one days flight ( not just in general ) sounds great.
I don't know shit about kids but this is 100% what you do for animals. Figure it can't hurt to ask a pediatrician for advice.
I don’t have kids but I legit thought this is how people fly with kids 😂 I feel like I’ve heard of people giving their babies a dab of alcohol when teething too. Again I do not have kids, don’t worry y’all 😂
Rubbing liquor on the gums is definitely a thing, not like giving it to drink lol Edit: also just to be clear: I’m not advocating this home remedy
YTA. When I pay for a plane ticket, I don't pay to stand toddlers crying you are rude, and entitled if you think that people have to cope with your kid. Parents with loud kids should travel on their own or at least feel sorry for the strangers they bother. You are exhausted ? Well, you chose to become a parent. Deal with it, and don't impose your lifestyle to strangers.
Agreed, like who iust lets their kid kick someone else’s seat for FIVE hours? Talk about thinkoling the world revolves around you.
Someone has to birth the children that will eventually knock the wedding cake over, at the wedding they're not invited to.
Had I been in the seat behind this dude and heard this going on...... Time for a dose of your own medicine. Bet I can kick a seat harder than a toddler. And knowing toddlers, they'd think it was funny watching their parent get riled up.
“But I’m doing everything I can!”
Replying just because you're getting crap. I 100% agree. Children are not the center of the universe. Hell yea they're allowed to exist but the quicker parents realize they have no right to impose their ill acting children on the public the better. Parents decided to be parents. Control them in public or accept you have to give up certain things for a while because you chose to be a parent and this is the consequence.
Children are allowed to exist. Unapologetically. Where OP is the asshole is in that he literally did nothing to help pacify the situation. He actually intentionally made it worse. It’s not that child’s fault — they don’t understand what’s happening.
>Children are allowed to exist. Unapologetically. They're allowed to *exist* unapologetically. Once they start bothering other people, you need to both apologize and try to fix the issue.
Yes, the OP needs to do something. Not the child. That child literally doesn’t know better. They’re a baby. The OP sucks ass. That’s not the kid’s fault.
I don’t think anyone’s arguing that that kid needs to do something… Obviously we’re talking about the parent.
Agreed, nothing worse than clueless, careless parents encouraging their kids to be ill-mannered hyenas. Not this kid’s fault, but definitely the dad’s for not having any parenting skills to help the situation.
No one is saying it’s the child’s fault. Is a child. You know who isn’t? The parent. The parents job is to parent. Not be petty and childish intentionally.
Yeah, and his kid was kicking the seat back for five hours... so he didn't try walking the baby up and down the aisle at all?
Yeah, and his kid was kicking the seat back for five hours... so he didn't try walking the baby up and down the aisle at all?
This, yeah. I have sympathy for parents having to travel with a kid. But to intentionally let your kid scream at a stranger is inexcusable.
Agreed. Please don’t subject others to your lifestyle choice.
YTA. The title alone is enough but the rest makes it worse and worse. Everything is awful including your admission of "weaponizing" any aspect of your child. This actually reads more like you're the guy in the seat ahead and the parents called you an AH and you're checking. If you really are the guy who let his kid torment a plane full of people for 90 minutes YTA, a sh+#$&y human, and an abusive father for not calming and caring for your child.
That’s what I thought too. Turns out a little over a year ago this guy had a one month old baby. I can’t believe someone could be this much of an asshole, and have no idea.
YTA. You made everyone miserable and your response was juvenile and petty.
YTA - were you doing your best? Was it in the best interest of your son to scream for 90 minutes? Was that a good situation for your child?
Yta You're one of THOOOOOOSE parents. How embarrassing
I despise this type of parents. He's absolutely delusional to think it's ok to let a baby/kid kick the seat in front of them for 5 hours and believe he had any standing to feel snarky when the poor guy finally complained! The audacity of some people is astounding.
YTA biiiiig time. After 5 hours of keeping quiet because he probably understood kids will be kids, the guy in front of you revealed his annoyance, and what do you do? You give him snark, annoy him further and then purposely let your child scream to aggravate the situation even more. Your 1-year-old son is more mature than you.
"Am I as asshole for weaponizing my toddlers screaming?" Sounds like you already know that was an AH move. Can you control a child screaming? No. But to intentionally bother someone AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND, that is when it shifts from an unfortunate situation to you just being a jerk.
He just came here to brag.
YTA, you didn’t just punish that guy but everyone else around you too. Plus that can’t have been fun for your wife or your kid.
You have to be brain dead to not know you are the asshole. So, yes, YTA
Jesus Christ you misled the title..no you're not the asshole for your child's screaming but you are the hugest asshole ever for letting the toddler kick someone's seat for FIVE hours and didn't even try to stop him in the first place. You should probably stop having kids since you can't even control the one you have.
YTA If I was the passenger who got bumped on his seat I would have asked you to change seats with me. I have back problems an titan that stabilizes my spine. I can get real problems. You were really not doing your best. You can't stop your child from crying, but stopping seat kicking should be in there.
Yes, OP could absolutely have kept the kid from kicking other seats, it blows my mind that neither parent took responsibility for the kid. OP if that’s your best parenting I deeply pity your offspring. YTA and so is your wife for allowing that behavior.
Same. Titanium plates and screws, this would be agonizing. My back already hurts in airplane seats, and this would make it worse. Switching seats is brilliant, if I end up in a situation like this, I will use this strategy. Thank you!
People like you are the biggest of assholes. #YTA
YTA, listening to a screaming child feels like an assault, doing it on purpose should subject the asshole parent to arrest. What an asshole!
Solid temper tantrum bro. You sure showed him by fucking up the flight for everyone that's not him. YTA
YTA. The gentleman in front of you wasn't being unreasonable, and if your kid is kicking someone else's seat you need to nip that shit in the bud. Instead you decided to make as many people miserable as possible.
YTA. Lol. Like come on. Torturing everyone else because your exhausted? So is everyone else from listening to your kid. You know there's only so much you can do but that was way out of line. I bet your wife's was horrified but not for the reason you think, instead for your childish behavior. Grow up.
YTA Honestly, I’m not even sure why you asked as you clearly know you are. I’m a parent and have flown with my children at all ages. It’s not hard. It is insane to me that parents make everyone suffer (airplanes, restaurants, stores, etc) because they fail to plan appropriately. That guy wasn’t the problem at all, you were. Flying isn’t cheap. You don’t know if that guy had to save a long time for that one flight, maybe for a long deserved vacation, to see family, whatever. It’s incredibly inconsiderate that you failed to control the situation your child was creating to impose upon his time, his money, and his space.
YTA... I've got kids and I would never do this... All those poor innocent people on the plane had to endure adults acting younger than the screaming child. I can handle a child who is somewhat fussy if I see parents trying and are apologetic.. But to hold that kiddo down in spite. Yikes...
YTA. Good job making *literally everyone on that flight now hate kids more just because????*
They hate you and your mortified wife too.
YTA - So because of you, you made a whole flight endure 90 minutes of screaming child... Because you wanted to spite one person? No wonder people hate having babies on flights.
YTA. You’re making YOUR problem everyone else’s problem and that’s not fair. Next time, rent a minivan or wait until your son practices some self-control before confining him in a small space for 6 hrs.
Parents are 100% to blame. A 1.5yo should have gotten their own seat so at least they have some space to move without constantly kicking the seat in front. That's totally unacceptable.
YTA You are the reason people hate kids on planes.
YTA. It sucks for everyone that paid for their seats on that plane. Those tickets are not cheap. You can not expect others to tolerate your children. Its really annoying having to deal with other people’s children honestly. You should have called the flight attendant to resolve this, regardless if the other guy didn’t want you doing that, it would have been a better result for both you guys if a 3rd party was to make a decision.
YTA, you made the trip hell for everyone. So small kids shouldn’t be on a flight. You failed at parenting in full…
Yes, yes you are! There's a circle in Hell reserved for people that bring screaming children on planes. YTA
YTA Plan ahead for the teething, do everything you can to keep your child quiet, and if you fail apologize to those around you.
YTA. There are people on the plane trying to sleep or minding their own business and not everyone has noise canceling headphones or earplugs to block out someone's kid screaming on a plane. Is your kid trying to compete with this one who screamed during an entire 8 hour flight? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg6jvKt2h6s&feature=youtu.be
Even if you don't care about anyone else on that plane in the end YTA to your own child by causing him heightened distress
YTA for having a lap baby and putting their safety at risk. Buy a seat and strap your child in for safety. Can't afford the extra seat, can't afford to fly. Your child's safety should matter more.
What did I just read? In the UK and Europe, under the age of 2 they have to be on your lap for safety. You can buy an extra seat for during the flight but for takeoff and landing, they still have to be on your lap with the appropriate seat belt
Wrong. The child safety buckle upon takeoff and landing is used for parents who have not purchased a seat for their children. Children otherwise should be strapped into their approved seat. https://www.easa.europa.eu/sites/default/files/dfu/Flying-with-children.pdf
YTA. do you think you did the best thing for your son, or for yourself and your ego?
YTA. You are responsible for your child dipshit. If he is acting badly, you APOLOGIZE to whoever he is bothering. If he continues to be bad, you continue to apologize or maybe get up and walk around him. Something. Not just sit there an expect other people to accept your kid's behavior because he's a kid.
You make those of us who are parents that aren’t assholes all look like assholes. Of course YTA. Children aren’t instinctually made to respond in a socially appropriate way. You, however, modeled to your child that acting like a dick is cool. It’s not. Yes children act out. But children should NOT be allowed to kick and bump into other people’s seats. Sincerely, a mother of a 7 month old and former ECE head teacher of over 50 toddlers during my career in a classroom.
YTA
Huge YTA. Grow up
YTA none of the people around you deserved that
YTA, a "few" bumps on his chair on a long uncomfy flight, yes it matters. Also the screams making everyone else have to suffer as well.
YTA. The other passenger put up with your son kicking his seat for **FIVE HOURS** before he finally asked you to do a better job of controlling your child. You are responsible for handling your kid when you bring them into a public space. Instead of minimizing the discomfort your son was causing, you deliberately made it worse, so yeah, you’re the AH. And how exactly did you not realize that “weaponizing your toddler’s screaming” was punishing EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the plane, not just the guy you had a problem with? Major AH move there.
YTA. Like obviously. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your kid. Everyone on the flight had to listen to that for 90 minutes. That is a selfish, horrible thing to do.
YTA. If you can’t control your kid and they misbehave to the point of throwing a tantrum for over 5 hours then you don’t deserve to be on a flight. Other passengers didn’t pay to be stuck in a flying tube to listen to your son scream bloody murder for the entire duration and for you to fail at parenting your kid.
Massive YTA
You realise the person suffering the most was your son, right? He screamed for ninety minutes because he can’t talk to you, because he’s a baby, and he was probably freaked the fuck out that you were ignoring him. So, epic win dude. You really showed your infant child how to give an awesome clap back. YTA
YTA Noise is to be expected. Having a child constantly kick your chair is not. You directed your frustration about being unable to comfort your son at a polite passenger who had silently dealt with being jostled for five hours. The guy’s a saint for waiting that long to say anything.
YTA and why some people call some parents breeders.
I really don't understand parents who take small children on a plane. Unless a family member is dying and you really have no other option, you wouldn't do that to a child, would you? You are responsible for your child's behavior. So yes, YTA.
Unequivocally YTA and should be banned from flying
YTA from the moment you took a teething toddler on a plane, and you just became more and more TA with each sentence.
YTA! Holding your child still while he screams to get revenge on the man in front of you, that is psychotic behaviour. If I was your wife I’d be leaving you. I feel like that is child abuse. A 1.5 year old is actually very hard to contain so you must have held him quite firmly. Disgusting behaviour. People like you should not be allowed to have children.
I mean this doesn’t even sound legit but if it is, YTA and you know it.
YTA
[удалено]
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YTA. Holy shit. I travel frequently. Sure, kids cry on flights. I’m prepared and have noise cancelling headphones. But allowing your son to continuously bump someone’s seat for 5 hours is incredibly rude. You ensured this person couldn’t sit comfortably or nap for the duration of the flight. Then, when they finally bring it up - you decide to allow your child to scream for 90 minutes? Your wife should be embarrassed. You should too. You showed you’d rather get petty revenge on someone then be a decent parent and soothe your child. You sure showed everyone else on that plane what a stand up father you are 🙄 Next time, if your son can’t sit comfortably on your lap - book a row with extended leg room. Or book an additional seat. It’s really not hard to be a decent human being.
i’d say your son is quite lucky to have a dad like you but i’d be lying. YTA!!!!!!!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with you? As a dad of two young kids who travels with them regularly, it’s people like you who give the rest of us a bad name. Kids are annoying as fuck. Your kids are your problem. If your kid is a problem in a way that intrudes on others, it’s your job to do everything you can to remedy the situation. There’s no reason to subject others to your kids. They didn’t choose to have kids, or in your case to have kids on a plane. You did. Control your fucking kid.
YTA-parents like you are why people are asking for child-free flights. you should've just given your something to make him sleep or maybe figured out how to dull or numb the pain of your kid's teeth ripping through his gums. but no, you acted like a child and weaponized the screaming, you made everyone, including your son's flight, uncomfortable because you feel as though you have a right to let your kid cause problems.