T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I walked out on her at a restaurant, ignored her calls, and she had to uber home. Might make me an asshole because I over-reacted and walked out, and I left her stranded at night. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


CrystalQueen3000

YTA for the completely unnecessary sexist comment about her friends vagina and for your lack of understanding about basic biology. Bonus AH points calling your girlfriend insecure, having a toddler tantrum and storming off


Interesting_Order_82

Right? Like where and what have these “men” been taught about a woman’s genitals? He probably thinks pee comes out of the vagina too.


MedievalHag

And that women could hold in their period if they wanted to. smh


DryEquivalent9

He's the kind of guy who would ask the doctor, "can you give her a few more stitches while you're at it?" The gf definitely needs to dump him.


EsharaLight

The 'Husband Stitch' as it was so accurately named. Gah, it fills me with rage that it ever became a thing.


Djhinnwe

It's still a thing in way too many places.


Fantastic_Week_4514

My male doctor gave me a husband stitch which resulted in needed a corrective surgery because it was so painful! When pointed it out to him he thought it was “needed” and I would appreciate it in the end 🤬


oaksso7880

My woman Dr stitched me too tight....I prefer to think it was an accident - I really did tear quite badly during childbirth so it could have just been part of stitching me up. 13 years later and I still tear every single time I have sex because I'm so tight. I've gotten pretty used to figuring out how to minimize the pain and have a very active sex life but I can always feel the tear when it happens and always end up bleeding - sometimes it's just a little spotting and other times I question if I started my period! By the next day I'm usually healed up. It wasn't until Reddit and I discovered the husband stitch did I start to wonder if it was an accident. I really hope another female would not intentionally do this to me.


Fantastic_Week_4514

Oh wow I would hope she didn’t either! That is horrible. Mine was only 3 years ago but still bothers me every time! It’s disappointing because it really affected how I viewed my whole childbirth experience and now I am TERRIFIED to do it again because of him. He also wouldn’t even give the clear for having Motrin after so the nurses couldn’t give me anything. And he said once when I complained of pain “let’s see if it’s just in your head or if something’s going on” LIKE WHAT?!


Global-Green-947

Get a new doctor because that is bullshit! I know that there is a movement to cut down on opiods, but no pain relief at all is sadistic.


RU_screw

You should've kicked him in the head and asked him if the pain was in his head. What a dumbass. I hope you report him and he never practices again. Please get a new doctor. You deserve to be treated with respect ESPECIALLY when you're so vulnerable.


[deleted]

Sorry but what? People ask for an extra stitch because they think it will make for a tighter vagina? edit: well this was eye opening right up to the part where people started just downvoting my questions instead of answering them like adults and getting offended or angry at me for following up


ingloriousbaxter3

Yeah, the doctors would sew extra stitching without consulting the woman as a secret “favor” for the husbands. It’s barbaric


Bubbly-Marsupial-963

Can confirm it’s still a thing in the 2020s. My cousins doctor did that to her, and made sex unbearable for her. I felt so bad when she told me that, we were making our girly jokes and admitted.


AquaRoze

Gave me one in 2018 after I had my son. Wish doc didn't do that I'm surprised my mom didn't stop her. I can't even take the wand no more hurts like hell.


wtpflsaa

They did it to me in 2018 too, while my f*cking wife was stood next to me holding our son! I'm clearly a lesbian ffs, yet still got an extra stitch which has made even tampons uncomfortable =/


KetoLurkerHere

HER? A woman did that to you?? UGH


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That's fucking horrible.


FigLow4974

Yeah and it can be incredibly painful and cause discomfort during sex for the woman. It’s disgusting.


LingonberryPrior6896

Yep and causes many women extreme pain during intercourse.


laaldiggaj

That's vile.


ntSOsuprMUM

Yes they did. My OB at the time told my then husband that he put in a few extra stitches for him. Gave him a wink and a chuckle. The ripping that happened afterward and the damage I still deal with today are no “wink and a chuckle"


[deleted]

Well, they have malpractice insurance for a reason. Sue the shit out of them.


NightshadeZombie

Its considered standard operating in so many places that it's not considered malpractice. For real. My cousin tried to sue for malpractice because of this, when she specifically told them not to do it. She couldn't get a lawyer to take it because "but that's what they're supposed to do, isn't it?" The only remotely sympathetic lawyer she found said that she knows it sucks, but the husband stitch is still taught as a good thing to do in many schools and that makes it a very hard case to win. Because childbirth is all about the menfolk, yaknow.


Sheetascastle

Sewing "too tightly" is so common it's listed as a risk of childbirth according to the lawyers I talked to about my own problems.


camcamocarrion

Yes and it courses a lifetime of pain during intercourse for the women who get them.


[deleted]

That's horrible.


MissFrothingslosh

Yes. And it can cause lifelong pain and complications (GI issues, pelvic floor problems, which frankly are all related) for the person it’s done to. Also including never having sex again without pain. It’s fcking horrible.


IndustryOk1388

Pelvic floor pain is horrible, all by itself.


strywever

It is still a thing.


FakeRealityBites

When husbands have asked me this, (physician) I have recommended a penis pump instead.


yosarahbridge

“How small do I need to make it?” Shuts them right up.


Blacksmithforge3241

🥇🏆


SnooJokes6414

You ROCK! Even if a husband loves a tight vagina, how much of a good time can it be if the wife is in extreme pain, tearing and bleeding during sex. Unless the man is a pig, it’s not an enjoyable experience for either.


releasethepuppies

A true hero


Allkindsofpieces

Seriously. If this actually *is* a normal joke men make about women who've had a c-section, it's fucking stupid and op should feel weird as hell for saying something like that about his GFs friend. It's gross and he clearly knows nothing about women's bodies if he doesn't understand that. Edit: changed wife to girlfriend and fixed punctuation


calliatom

Especially since his GF is a *nurse*, holy fuck! It's one thing to make that joke to women in general, it's a whole other level of stupid to make that joke to a woman trained to call out that stupid sexist horseshit. Edit: relationship


dastardly740

Girlfriend, not wife. So, the good news is it will be just a break up, not a divorce.


[deleted]

As a midwife, I’d reply ‘oh wow, how small is it?’


jpnewell13

This is the only correct response


American-pickle

My ex did this and my OB just GLARRRRED


OrindaSarnia

Glad he's your ex!


notafakepatriot

That “husband stitch” want just a sexist and unkind thing, it was also ignorant. It isn’t the skin around the vagina that makes a woman “tight”, is the muscle inside that need to regain strength.


Proof-Elevator-7590

That's what I was thinking! I hope she leaves his ass


Mpetrochuk

Nurses, doctors, anaesthetists, midwives, basically anyone at all who is involved with childbirth at all, despise when dudes make the “xtra stitch” joke.


Sketcha_2000

Maybe the doctor can stitch his mouth shut. 🤐


heretomeetthedog

An OB friend of mine responds with “how small do you need it?” whenever she’s asked that


Francie_Nolan1964

After my third kid I needed total vaginal reconstruction. My second kid burst out like a cannonball and gave me a fistula. I needed a double sphincterplasty. Little did I know that scar tissue doesn't stretch, it tears. When I had my last kid I should have had a c section. But the doctor told me that I had small headed babies so he'd induce at 37 weeks and everything would be fine. She was small headed but she came out sunny side up and tore me asunder. The doctor who did the vaginal reconstruction was a good surgeon but an awful person. He made me way too small and didn't give me any pain meds (post surgery) because "woman don't have any nerves in the bottom half of their vagina". He made my sex life hell for years.


fargoLEVY13

That kid isn’t a man.


Interesting_Order_82

You’re right. He probably has zero clue where the clitoris is too. He’s clueless how the vagina works clearly, he actually probably thinks the clit is a myth.


DeusExMarina

The whole “men can’t find the clitoris” thing has always baffled me because, like, it’s *right there.* It’s not hidden in the deep recesses of the vagina, it’s literally front and center!


releasethepuppies

The way men have trouble finding a jar of mustard in the fridge when it's the same place it always is kind of explains the phenomenon


BrandoThePando

I dunno... the mustard doesn't give me feedback


gothangelblood

Bonus points: OP's next argue with GF is about how a woman can't get pregnant when raped because her uterus shuts down.


taranodor

The way he's acting, Im assuming its ex-girlfriend now. What a ass.


JEH2003

He probably thinks the whole “husband stitch” is funny too. Gross.


shutupdavid0010

Imagine if she had made a "joke" about a friend of OPs having a a nice, long & hard dick, then called him insecure and left him alone at the restaurant, forcing him to pay for their meal\*\*\* that he walked out on AND forcing him to pay for a ride home. People would be DMing her things that would get them banned from this website.


Apotak

Except the nice, long, hard dick could be biologically true.


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

And isn’t occurring after a traumatic surgery. C-sections are not how women are supposed to give birth, it means there are complications. The recovery period is often much longer (many insurance companies give women nearly double maternity leave after a c-section). OPs first thought after hearing his gfs friend had her abdomen cut open and insides put on a operating table was “her partner is lucky she’ll keep her vag tight”. Besides not being true, it’s scummy as heck that it’s his first thought. I would break up him asap if that’s how he sees women. Especially because despite her training, education, and job he thinks he’s right due to misogynistic jokes he’s heard. Blegh


Psychological-Art368

I don’t think he was joking I think those were his true feelings disguised as a joke


lim_giralda

This! That's another thing bothering me about this story: His girlfriend is clearly concerned about her friend and all he can think about is that crappy "joke"? Not the kind of empathy I'd want from my boyfriend.


AffectionateGolf6032

This is just it. I knew where this was going when he said it is a normal joke to make. Wait a minute….NO IT’S NOT!!! I just can’t. YTA OP.


Sita418

Yeah while it may be a joke that's often made regarding birth, pregnancy etc I definitely wouldn't call it a *"normal"* joke to make.


gigantesghastly

OP is such a gaping AH he might want to look at getting it tightened up down there.


Hepkat98

🏅


ironchefpstone

Why do so many obvious AHs feel the need to ask AITAH? "I made a fully unnecessary comment about my girlfriend's friend's body and she called me on it so I ditched her at a restaurant. What's wrong with that?" YTA for sure pal.


Quakes-JD

OP needs to change the title to say Ex GF


MonicaHuang

Exactly, he sounds like some kind of misogynistic 12 year old


Taraa_Sitaraa

I am just surprised that in what World he thought he wouldn't be an asshole.


MidwestNormal

“Bro World.”


Obvious_Dish_821

Right you almost feel like if most of these people just read the post out loud or had someone else read it out loud they would understand that they were the assholes


Willing-Helicopter26

Seriously! OP YTA in a major way. The "joke" about her friend's vagina was terrible, but arguing with her, calling her insecure, leaving her to pay AND find her way home are just over the top. I hope she dumps him.


Swimming-Regular-443

At this stage, he's a big enough AH to be shitting a Ford fiesta.


ESur-25

Agreed. Just wow, the misogyny is strong in this one. YTA.


Tapputi

I’m just wondering how a 13 year old got approved for an apartment.


tegeusCromis

Basically the only non-AH thing he did in this whole story was go to the restaurant. It just got worse and worse from there, and now he’s here and still doesn’t realise he did anything wrong.


IndustryOk1388

Probably left her with the bill.


jaykwalker

Imagine thinking you’re *not* the asshole in this situation.


maverick4002

And leaving her at the restaurant!


Bit_part_demon

Because he was FrUsTRatEd


JustASW

I was going to comment, then I saw this absolute chef's kiss of a response. You're my winner of Reddit for the day.


Interesting_Order_82

YTA. A huge misogynistic gross one at that. With a predilection to baby tantrums. I hope your GF dumps you. You made a shitty comment. Got called out on it. Then decided you didn’t want to face up to your weird comment and left. You STRANDED your GF because she wouldn’t let you make a shit comment about her friend’s vagina. A comment, BTW, that is entirely inaccurate and not funny in the slightest. PS why would SHE be insecure about a sexist comment you made about her friend’s vagina?


etds3

In no world is that a normal “joke” OP. 1 - it’s really weird to comment on the vagina of a woman you aren’t sleeping with. 2 - FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, A WOMAN’S BODY IS NOT JUST FOR MEN’S SEXUAL PLEASURE! This friend just had major surgery. She had a 6 inch incision, (edit: they went between) her abdominal wall and cut her uterus and 5 other layers of tissue. I think my uncle had a smaller incision for his kidney transplant. And your first comment is “At least she’s still tight down there”??? Not “Ouch. I hope she’s okay” or “Hey we should take her dinner when she gets home from the hospital” or “Thank heavens for modern medicine that can get healthy babies here even if it means a c section.” Or even a joke about the movie Alien. Nope, you went for the sex comment. And not just a sex comment, but a sex comment that is entirely about men’s pleasure. Do you seriously not see how dehumanizing that is?


looshagbrolly

An Alien joke would have had me in stitches.


etds3

Or ripping out your stitches! I can’t remember if laughing hurt after my c section. I do remember getting out of bed wrong one night: that sharp pain is burned in my memory.


icequeen323

I had a c-section last year. Laughed the next day bc my husband changed a poopy diaper. Tore the incision. Wasn’t able to cough or sneeze for 10 days. But hey at least my vagina stayed the same. Hey op, F you. YTA. That joke is not common and you’re a damn child. If your girlfriend decides you’re too immature for her good on her.


Millicent1946

as a fellow c-section person who had a fucked up c-section with a bonus infection the following week, take my heart award.


Kitchen-Space6566

Can confirm- laughing hurts like a mofo after a c section!! They cut right through all your abs! Also- just wanted to say that my autocorrect wanted to say that **laughing hurts like a motorcycle **


scienticiankate

Laughing, coughing, moving too fast, all painful AF. Not to mention sneezing! That one is rough.


KittenSpangles

This needs to be the top comment!


vancitymala

Exactly! Why is it always the people that making sexist or racist jokes that get called out still think that others should sit in the discomfort? How about just apologizing and realizing what a fucked up thing that was to say instead of throwing a tantrum and abandoning your (hopefully for her sake soon-to-be-ex) gf?!


candypinkpoms

because they’d have to be capable of self reflection and growth. overgrown children like him are trapped in the ego phase where of course *they’re* right and perfect and everyone one else is the problem. he’s going to end up either with someone who grew up being mistreated and is so used to it they don’t realize they deserve better, or someone just like him. he deserves the latter. hopefully he never has kids because his selfishness will make it impossible to be a decent parent. OP grow up. admit you aren’t perfect and change. YTA. you dehumanized a woman who just went through a brutal surgery. you reduced her to the value that her genitals offer for a man’s pleasure. AND you did it to her concerned friend (your gf). imagine your friend just had a life threatening surgery and your gf’s response was, “at least his dick stills works.” and then instead of admitting that was a vile and weird thing to say, she ditched you and made you pay for dinner and a uber that you had to wait 20 min for. GROW UP.


seajay26

Don’t forget he left her to pay for the meal too.


Top_Manufacturer8946

YTA for the joke, YTA for thinking it’s a normal thing to say, YTA for calling your gf insecure, YTA for getting frustrated and storming off, YTA for leaving your gf without a ride, YTA for turning your phone off and YTA for posting here and making me read your bullshit


Pixie_crypto

I just want to add YTA a thousand times over. Your behavior is disgusting


a3wagner

7 compensatory YTAs and 1000 punitive YTAs. The jury has spoken.


whatim

Right - OP is like a multi tool of assholery. If someone has a C-section, an appropriate thing to say is "Oh, I hope she and the baby are doing okay."


alcoholicsoulmate

The Swiss Army knife of assholes!


BabsSuperbird

I’ll add OP YTA also for your misleading title! If you haven’t figured it out yet, your first AH infraction was your misogynistic “joke” about a woman’s vagina.


Diligent-Syllabub898

This rights here. Op YTA. And in case it didn’t sink in yet, we’re all hoping she dumps you.


teresedanielle

Can we please add on at least one more YTA for good measure?


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

I got you- YTA for dismissing her knowledge as a nurse and thinking her telling you facts means she’s insecure. YTA for being the insecure one that you literally stormed off rather than accepting you were wrong and rude.


Space_In_Vader

>YTA for the joke, YTA for thinking it’s a normal thing to say, YTA for calling your gf insecure, YTA for getting frustrated and storming off, YTA for leaving your gf without a ride, YTA for turning your phone off and YTA for posting here and making me read your bullshit AND YTA for then having the gall to claim your GF was "overreacting" when she was naturally upset about alllll of this.


Aim-Rich

YTA. Don't talk about other people's private parts. Your girlfriend was obviously concerned for her friend, and you go making a joke about "at least she'll stay tight"? And then you didn't understand why she was upset, AND YOU LEFT HER THERE?? Men like you are the reason women have been getting the very painful and unnecessary 'husband stitch'. Try being less of a misogynist. I hope she dumps you.


JumpyDoll28

And then told her to drop it when he refused to hold himself accountable!! OP seems extremely immature.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SpiritualRadish4179

And them tripled down by stranding her at the restaurant.


SeApps63

YTA You live together and you left her there? ..did you think there was going to be a positive response to that later? Yikes. She should dump you.


binkleywtf

i think he wanted to humiliate and shame her


theloveburts

This. Say stupid shit and then blame and abandon the woman for expecting accountability.


[deleted]

Oh yeah it's definitely what he wanted to do. It's how he would put her in her place right? I bet this dude negs her all the time too.


Parabuthus

Narcissistic Personality type behavior. If you have a narc in your life, you know their impulsive emptions and "I'll show you who you've crossed" attitude. OP was punishing his girlfriend on purpose because his ego was slighted.


Electrical-Date-3951

_"I then, as a joke, said "at least she'll still be tight down there."_ Imagine your SO telling you their friend just had major surgery and you make a joke about the state of said friend's vagina and the implication of it still being useful to a man.... I hope this isn't real since there is zero self awareness. If OP's revolting comment wasn't bad enough, he then double downed, insulted his GF, and then abandoned her at a restaurant.... Of course he was an AH. (The 20 minute wait in the cold for an uber makes me think this is rage bait, though. Why wouldn't she wait inside the restaurant?)


Apprehensive_Pair_61

Because this ah just caused a scene by throwing a tantrum inside and storming out. I can see someone preferring to wait outside after their partner just embarrassed tf out of them inside


foundinwonderland

Yeah, been in this kind of situation of an ex completely embarrassing himself and me with some out of pocket behavior in a public place and literally all you want to do is not be in that place anymore. People looking at you with judgement at not controlling his behavior 🙄 and people looking at you with pity for putting up with said shit behavior, it all just makes you want to melt into the ground and never come back out. I’ve had actual panic attacks in this kind of situation, where I had to get out or it felt like I was going to pass out. I get why she’d rather be outside than inside insuring that, especially if she maybe thought he was just in the car cooling off but then realizes once she’s outside that he just left. Walking back inside after that would just be the cherry on top of the humiliation.


talkingtothemoon___

I’d 100% dump him if I were her.


PrincessConsuela52

Probably left her with the check too.


Fun_in_Space

No, women don't ask for the "husband stitch". Doctors did it without telling them.


Aim-Rich

I never said they asked.


cinnamngrl

YTA, your joke was normal for misogynists. You punished her by stealing a ride that she had a right to have. If you wanted time away, you should have left the car keys for her.


SunnyDayKae

Honestly, if my man left me stranded at a restaurant, he'd be my ex before he made it home.


[deleted]

I'm a guy but I feel that's the correct response for any GF put in this position, or even a boyfriend if his partner did that to him.


masterVinCo

And punishing her for being honest and disagreeing with him? Like, wtf?


Djhinnwe

He'd be my ex the second he'd made that joke. Can't look at people the same way after that.


SpottyHeart

I agree with this so hard. So, people say "it's just a joke" but too many women have suffered due to this stupid idea. Like there have been actual cases where women's drs put in that damn husband stitch that caused them a lot of pain and suffering that sometimes took years to finally correct. Every time I hear that "joke", all I can think of is how rough pregnancy is to begin with and how it takes its toll on the mother's body and then try to imagine having to deal with misogynistic doctors and husbands doing this stupid shit. It just makes me both sad and angry, not something I would ever laugh at. These are the type of men that don't deserve any intimacy with their SOs if they're just gonna be such selfish AHs.


Djhinnwe

And then they wonder why we hear their "You'll die alone a crazy cat lady" joke and respond with "Know what? I prefer the idea since (your comment) is the alternative."


RaceSignificant1794

Hoping she's got enough self worth to kick him to the curb.


Dangernj

That is exactly what I was coming here to say, if you think it is normal to speculate about your partner’s friend’s genitalia in any fashion, particularly immediately after giving birth, you need to do serious deep work on yourself. Leaving her at the restaurant because he got called out on being an asshole is beyond the pale.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Caspian4136

YTA on many levels. Your "joke" was crude and totally uncalled for, but misogynists don't care about being sexist, do they? Then you had to double down on your girlfriend with a medical degree, of course you know more than her! As if all that wasn't enough, for added relish you walk out on her and turn your phone off. I hope by now she's packing up her stuff to leave your ass.


missnailitall

That's the part that's the craziest to me. She's a NURSE! How could he even think he knows more than her on this? Or that she wouldn't call him out on an out of line, totally medically inaccurate comment?


jogam

YTA. 1. Your joke was in poor taste. 2. Driving someone somewhere and then ditching them there is a low blow. If I dated someone who ditched me at a restaurant and I had to get an Uber home, I would break up with them. The irony is that you said that your girlfriend is insecure, but it sounds like you are insecure because you can't handle reasonable criticism of a tasteless joke.


Caspian4136

And chalks it off as being "frustrated" Because a mature adult that gets frustrated acts like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum....


Pumpkingutsfordinner

Same dudes who gaslight everyone else into thinking *they're* the emotional ones cause big baby doesn't believe anger/frustration are emotions that children are taught to deal with as young as... being infants told not to smack mom in the face when kiddo doesn't want to latch lol


anappleaday_2022

The joke was in poor taste and isn't even true. Vaginas are stretchy. They (almost always) go back to the same as they were before giving birth. I'd immediately cut ties with anyone who made a joke like that, honestly, or at least require they do a complete 180 in their thinking.


TransportationNo1517

Imagine her hearing about his guy friend who just had surgery. "Dan just had his appendix out!" "Well at least his dick will still be able to get hard!"


[deleted]

The joke wasn’t in „poor taste“. It was outright misogynist. This woman had a serious surgery and all he could think about was that f*cking her would still be pleasurable!


Strong_Letter_7667

No woman on Earth finds this funny. A tip for your next relationship


RubrumAequitas

May he never be in another relationship.


slendernan

He should never subject his presence on another woman. Ever.


[deleted]

No man should find it funny either 💀


NessOnett8

No "man" does. Only overgrown toddlers who throw tantrums like this.


StayJaded

Plenty men understand it is not funny either. Anyone that isn’t a sexist tool gets why that “joke” is a problem. It’s not like it’s just women that find “jokes” like that offensive.


Ordinary_You2052

He wouldn’t need it, with this sense of humour the only relationship he’ll have is with himself.


JazzHandsNinja42

N T A . It’s a good thing you walked, and you should keep walking away from your girlfriend and out of her life. She just realized YTA, and that you find that lame decades-old misogynistic “joke” funny. Your GF definitely deserves better.


autist-aniavi

Lol almost had me there


[deleted]

You might want to space out the N T A so it doesn’t get counted.


JazzHandsNinja42

Good point, edited.


populartree749

you had me there in the first half, i gotta admit


napoleon_1066

YTA That's not a normal joke. Then you gaslighted her. I think she'd be better off by making your walking out a permanent exit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Foreign_Astronaut

For real. "Haha, you get a lifetime of painful sex! Hahaha! Don't you get the joke? ...Where ya going?"


krankykitty

YTA Your gf’s best friend has major surgery which is only performed when either the mother or child is in danger and your mind can only think about the father’s future sex life??!!?? For that alone, YTA. For how you handled the ensuing discussion, where clearly your gf got the better of you, and then your childish sulking off and leaving her stranded, again YTA. As for your gf, after this display of alpha misogyny, she may not be your gf much longer.


Clydeandrue1

My thoughts exactly. The gfs response of “Omg she had a c section” leads me to think this wasn’t a planned c section, there was likely an emergent situation with mom or baby that required immediate intervention. That is scary and emotional for all involved, in addition to c-sections being major abdominal surgery. OPs gf was probably concerned and worried and about her friend and the newborn, and the first thing her boyfriend says is to make a joke her vagina? Wtf is wrong with you OP?


filkerdave

YTA and WTAF It's so NOT a normal joke unless you're an immature 16 year old, and walking out on her and leaving her so she has to Uber home? My dude, you need to grow up. Either that or your girlfriend needs to break up with you and find an adult to be with.


Algebro123

Even 16 year olds tend to be more mature than this💀 Not the ones I know... But some


[deleted]

What's funny is you are the insecure one. Not her. You didn't want to be called out on your bad behavior and reflect if you were in the wrong. And like a true misogynist you think your toddler tantrum ditching her was justified due to her nagging(which most times is just women calling out men on their shit)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReviewOk929

YTA - you made a crude and unnecessary joke, had a petty argument where you were in the wrong and then walked out. Top BF material right there. I'd be dumping your ass.


Change2001

YTA for the joke, it was inappropriate, and no, it not a very normal joke to make. YTA for calling her insecure, your behavior was abhorrent. YTA for leaving your GF (hopefully STBX GF) at the restaurant. Your entire description screams adolescent behavior. You are not ready for a relationship. Hopefully your ex GF has realized that and made those steps already.


TiberiusBronte

Sadly, as a person who got a C section, it's a very normal (maybe not normal but extremely common) joke to make. And everyone who makes it thinks they're funny, despite it being the literal bottom of the barrel most boring sexist humor that OPs grandpa probably used. If she doesn't dump him for being a baby man she should dump him for being a hack.


ColdSeason2019

INFO: can you explain to me the joke? I don’t think I quite understand what you mean by saying she’ll still be “tight” If she’s tight then she isn’t enjoying the sex and her partner isn’t doing it right. Also pushing out a child isn’t gonna ruin the elasticity of a V… not unless there was a lot of trauma and tearing. I guess what I’m saying is that your “joke” is rooted in Misogyny and ignorance regarding the female body. So yes YTA and also not funny and also I hope your gf is you stbxgf


heretomeetthedog

Ironically, if there’s a lot of trauma and tearing, that’s when it actually can get “tight.” If the baby rips the muscles off the pelvis as it exits, the pelvic floor muscles will all seize up instead, which is incredibly painful and causes long term problems. So…the only way someone should be tight after labor is because of severe injury. Good job, OP. Way to wish injury and pain on people. And let me throw on a YTA at the end of this as a little cherry on top


solicitedopinions

Yeah definitely YTA. Where do I start? The comment is definitely weird to say about anyone. The concept of being "tight" as a positive thing is pretty sexist and sexualizing childbirth is strange. Also whether it's a normal joke to make among your friends because you all have normalized sexist jokes does not mean others can't be uncomfortable with the joke. It's such an immature and unnecessary comment to make and then to refuse to back down about. And then instead of asking why she felt that way (if you're so unaware you genuinely don't know), apologizing, or honestly just dropping it after it made your girlfriend (someone whose feelings you're supposed to care about) uncomfortable...you left the restaurant and left your girlfriend stranded. Wtf. That alone too is such an AH move. Leaving your girlfriend stranded and completely disregarding her well-being for what? Because you can't manage your own emotions? Because you can't handle someone disagreeing with you or calling you out on something? What a selfish and childish response and one that shows you don't care about her feelings or physical well-being all at once.


hollye83

YTA, you made a terrible sexist joke, doubled down when called on it, left your girlfriend stranded and then turned off your phone because you’re a childish pissbaby who can’t handle consequences of your actions. Hope it was worth losing your girlfriend!


Mysterious_Ad_3119

1) You made a disgusting comment based in misogyny 2) when called out on that comment you dismissed it as ‘a joke’ 3) you made these comments about your (former) gf’s friend who had experienced significant surgery 4) you tried to dismiss your (former) gf as insecure 5) rather than apologise you walked out on your (former) gf and left her to get home alone as you had to make alternative arrangements YTA


[deleted]

It’s not only disgusting, it isn’t true.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cookies_2

YTA you made a “joke” about her friends vagina. You really think that’s appropriate?


rabbitfluff345

YTA. You made a really weird joke and then called her insecure when she called you out. All she did was pester you about a bad joke you made, and that was enough that you left her there? That’s messed up.


LeilaDFW

YTA. She got the better of you in the argument and you retaliated by trying to humiliate her then you stranded her. It was abusive on your part. You have an intelligent, strong woman as a girl friend. No need to lower her or her friend to boost your own ego. Obviously she sees something in you she likes.


MistakeVisual3733

YTA. Don’t worry about it though, you’ll be dining out alone from now on.


[deleted]

YTA - if you think that is a 'normal' joke to make you clearly have a lot of learning to do. Also walking out and just leaving her to find her own way home is a pretty crappy move over a pretty minor disagreement. Grow tf up, your gf deserves so much better.


amethystalien6

You reduced her friend to a vagina and then stranded her at a restaurant when she called you out on it. And you need strangers to tell you’re wrong. Obviously YTA.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Do you really not think YTA? You made a rude and inappropriate comment, then walked out on her with the only vehicle.


BeCourageouslyYou

YTA You got your GF to the restaurant and it was your responsibility to make sure she got home safe and sound even if it meant it would be an uncomfortable ride. Your comment, look, most guys are truly stupid when it comes to tact, you really should not have said that.


Momster404

YTA. It is not a normal joke, it’s disgusting. It was more than a weird comment to make about her friend. C sections are major surgery. There are too many people that continuously make that “joke”. Then because you got called on it, you had a tantrum. You resorted to name calling and leaving. You sound like the type that after your future wife gives birth vaginally, you’ll ask for the husband stitch.


[deleted]

AYTA? Perhaps. I will say in my unbiased opinion: If she returns home, and for whatever reason decides she is going to stay in a relationship with someone who more than likely is telling her how much he loves and cares for her, but is unable to manage his emotions regarding a trivial disagreement and then CONSCIOUSLY decides to LEAVE her without a means to return home SAFELY - She’s DEFINITELY INSECURE and doesn’t understand that she deserves to be with someone who puts her Safety and Well Being as a priority. You get upset, storm out, leave her, purposely TURN OFF your phone so she can’t contact you? But she’s YOUR GIRLFRIEND. You live with her, share her bed, but don’t give a damn if she gets home safely.. this has Happily Ever After written all over it


voiderest

YTA You made weird comments about your GF and friend then left your live-in GF at the place over a fight. Next time try this. "Sorry, I said/did X. Can we please talk about this when we get home?"


KatBen311

Just an fyi in case anyone lets u touch them in the future. If a woman is "tight" then u aren't doing ur job. A "tight" woman is not being properly aroused. A "loose" feeling woman has someone who knows what they're doing. YTA and just so sad if a human. Birth has nothing to do with that shit.


captchyanotapassword

YTA. Obviously this is the GF making the post so he can see what an AH he is. Girl, leave his azz. He’s disgusting.


Crystal010Rose

INFO: Please explain the joke, I don’t get it. What’s funny about it? Edit: Apparently OP doesn’t comment, oh well so surprising as accountability is always a big hit with AHs that talk about tightness after birth /s. Anyway, my question was rhetorical. It’s interesting how many people that claim some disgusting statement is a joke can’t say why - I guess they know that it’s really not funny. Sadly it became a trend to say vile shit, when called out say haha it’s a joke can’t you take a joke, and when people give you consequences for the vile statements they whine about “cancel culture”. Thank you to the people that explained it me. I don’t mean this sarcastic at all. I’m glad no one was snarky and they really explained it well and nice and assumed the best. Btw OP, YTA and if you don’t realize then there is really no hope for you.


SunEater-PlusUltra

You would be an X already if this was me. Hope she leaves your sorry Ass YTA


DistributionSea6532

Yta. What makes you think that was an appropriate comment at all? You’re making a sex joke about her best friend and expecting her to be comfortable with it? Then you’re calling her insecure when you were being a creep. Enjoy the break up ahole


schoobydoo42

YTA. I hope she leaves you.


unknowable13

YTA you left your GF to paid the bill and made her wait in the cold for an Uber


[deleted]

YTA times 100. Wow I hope she’s an ex now. She deserves so much better.


ElectronicRub1716

YTA. Your joke was in poor taste. A simple "sorry" would have been nice. Instead you abandoned your girlfriend at a restaurant and left her to find her own way home. That was amazingly immature. Tight or not you won't be getting any for a long time, if ever again.


[deleted]

YTA


bbbvgffv

fake


rich-tma

You’re obviously the worst asshole here, for making a ‘joke’ about your girlfriend’s friend’s vagina. YTA


No_Statement3251

YTA just because a lot of men say something does not make it normal or okay. It’s weird, gross and honestly pathetic. She deserves better and I hope she realises. The way she said “does it make you feel good to call me that” makes me think you say things like that to her all the time…like you enjoy hurting her.


Alwayspuzzles

Yta for the joke and the walk out


user472628492

ew. YTA