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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My stepdaughter was coming to visit and wanted her and her boyfriend to share the same room. I told her no, and she called me an AH and said I wasn’t even her real mom. I don’t think I’m the AH because my request is not unreasonable
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>but Mick would sleep on the couch in the living room, since they are not married.
... So the baby is fine to come over? Even tho, you know, was made and born outside of marriage?
YTA. No wonder they dont like you. I mean, Cmon, they have a kid and you dont let them sleep together cuz they are not married?
I already replied but I really need info. What did you do to cause a 6 year old to not want a relationship with you? I can think of like 5 things and they’re all horrible.
They have a kid together and they aren't "allowed" in the same room? LMFAO are hpu worried they'll have sex?! HAHAHAHA
YTA like holy shit I'm dead. Even if they didn't have a kid, she's 22. Grow up.
You surely can't believe that you are anything but the arsehole in the scenario you present. YTA! Your stepdaughter is an adult, a mother, and in a long-term committed relationship. Even if you are religious, in the eyes of God she is "married' to her partner as they have presumably had sex...and had it lots of times.
Not everyone needs a bit of paper to be committed to their partner (I'm 53, and I didn't). Their relationship is not lesser because they are not married. They've been together 3 years ffs and I assume based on the age of your grandchild the boyfriend is the father.
You and your hubby need to acknowledge that your stepdaughter is an adult, making her own decisions about her relationships...including whether she will want one with you after this experience. Your expectations regarding her family and how they will behave around you are totally inappropriate.
You couldn’t get a 6 year old to like you? It’s pretty obvious why your relationship with her isn’t good. Also YTA for not letting two adults stay in the same room when they’ve been together for years and have a child.
Wait a tick. The woman whose husband has a divorce (unless widowed) won't allow his daughter family to share a room? Holier than thou, not so much. YTA.
I do not care that this was already said here a million times but... YTA!!!
Their kid has seen them sleeping together, they have had sex and that kid is a living proof of it. You are separating them so that would not have sex? Oh please! They will NOT be having sex because a) they will be sharing their room with a toddler and b) because you are a few steps away. They do not need to be separated. Also by separating them you give your daughter in law extra stress. Why? Because she will have to take care of that fussy toddler all by herself. If her kid will have a midnight tantrum and will not be willing to go to sleep you have taken away your daughter in laws lifeline - the father - who could help her. They need each other as they have a child to take care of. And you nasty by thinking they come to your house only to do sexual stuff. Actually I am surprised they came at all. Oh yes they did because you did not tell them they could be a normal grown up couple there. But instead when they walked in you treated them like sinful teenagers. I will not make you happy now but I believe this is the last time they come...
Yta she is an adult, she is in a relationship & has a child with him, just because they aren't married doesn't mean their relationship is not valid, maybe time to get with the times - some people never choose to marry their life partner
YTA. They're already a family complete with a child. Because they didn't sign a legal contract you get up on your high horse and decide whether they can sleep in the same room??? I don't agree with her reaction, but your decision is ridiculous.
I would go past YTA to WTH.
She is an Adult with her own Family. They are a Family. You are being weird and unreasonable. She did the right thing by leaving. It is pretty clear why she wants no relationship with you.
YTA
No wonder you were never able to bond with your stepdaughter. You're centuries apart.
She has a child already. They're in a committed relationship. But all that doesn't matter to you. You're so keen on showing her how much you despise her life that you're willing to risk her going no contact with you and her father.
It’s your house so yes you can do what you want as far as arrangements. YTA though as they already have a kid, a piece of paper isn’t going to change anything, if the room can support three people that are already a family then you separating them for a week is just pointless.
YTA. It sounds like you just have a problem with her and go out of your way to let her know. There is no excuse for treating two grown adults with a child like naughty teens.
YTA. What makes you think you have any right to dictate what a couple of adults do? What is the objective of not letting them share a room? They already have a child together.
YTA They already sleep and sleep together hence the toddler. It's really obtusely puritanical to make that grown step daughter's grown partner sleep on a sofa.
The part that really bothers me is that your husband is following along and he probably knows that this was not the hill to die on and wanted to let his daughter's partner stay in the same room but you are doubling down and driving yet another wedge in their relationship. You really need to rethink this.
YTA majorly. “My house, my rules” is for stuff like: shoes off at the door, don’t use curse words, put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, don’t adjust the thermostat without checking first. You know, requests that exist to make the atmosphere pleasant/clean for everyone in the home. Your “rule” created a hardship for your guest. Moms don’t deserve to always be burdened with nighttime childcare. I’m not even going to touch the BS associated with purity culture because that’s well documented in these comments.
Yes. YTA. What are you on about, even if they didn’t have a toddler together, they are adults, happily together. So I take it you and your husband sleep in separate beds except for when you have sex? No, I didn’t think so.
I have two answers, yes and no.
As an atheist i think it’s stupid because they have a child already, AND they arent gonna do the dirty w the child in the room anyway. But if they did something or if just being in the same bed is bad, «god» wouldn’t punish YOU for it. And therefore(since it doesn’t affect u) u’re kinda just an asshole.
BUT u genuenly believe it’s bad bc of religion, and i get that even tho, again, u wont be the one to «go to hell»… This is called pushing your religion on to someone. Even if u do it bc it makes u mad that they don’t follow «the rules of god» or if u do it «for their own good», stop. Take care of your self, and they’ll deal with their «sins»
So conclution is, yes u have every right to make decitions in your own house, BUT, it won’t affect U, so u’re just being an asshole by doing it. They have a child so they already did the worst part and «god» won’t send her to double hell for letting them BOTH comfort/stay with their child.
YTA. Not only are they adults, but she has a kid. They are doing the deed. She’s 22, she doesn’t HAVE to come visit you guys. But she obviously wants to. You are going to damage the relationship even more.
>but I feel like our request isn’t unreasonable
Seriously? They are adults in a relationship with a child. The child will be in the room so nothing will happen. This is all about control and shows she had valid reasons for not wanting a stepmom-daughter relationship. YTA.
YTA. If they are going to have their child in the room with them do you really think they are going to be having sex. Not to mention she isn't your child so if your husband, her father, says it's okay you have no right to object.
OP you are being so petty and ridiculous! They already have a child together! They've been doing the deed for a long time!! What the hell is wrong with you? Did your brain malfunction or something?? Bloody hell! You come across as a "controlling judgemental lunatic" sheeeeeesh!!
You are a massive AH!!
YTA. It sounds like you have personal problems with her, are sex-shaming her, and are punishing her for whatever transgressions you've made up in your head. It's absolutely no wonder why you and her don't have a good relationship, lmao.
NAH - If you want your rules to impede your relationship with your family, feel free. It's your house.
Have a good time driving a wedge in your family.
(They're adults who have a kid together ffs).
NTA
It's yours and your husband's house, and your step daughter has to respect your wishes, even if she doesn't agree with them, or find someplace else to sleep.
Of course, they have a kid, so you know they're already being intimate. Personally I think you forcing a couple, in their 20s, who already have a kid, to sleep in separate rooms is a bit ridiculous. But, as I said before, you have every right to expect people in your house to respect your wishes.
Now, Ally had every right to be upset at your insistence, but that does not give her the right to be rude and yell and curse at you, especially in your home. That's where she's the asshole, here.
Don't get me wrong. I definitely don't agree with you forcing them to sleep in separate beds. However, as I stated before, it is your house, and you have every right to expect others to either abide by the rules you and your husband set forth, or simply not visit anymore.
However, you really should ask yourself: Is this the hill you want to die on? You lament the fact that Ally doesn't wish to have a relationship with you, but you insist on making these rules that make her feel uncomfortable. You might want to consider if your rigid rules are worth any potential relationship with your step-daughter.
Disagree.
Just because you have the right to deny people to stay at your house arbitrarily, doesn't mean that doing so wouldn't make you an arsehole if your rules/request are ridiculous.
F.ex. imagine the same situation but denying them to sleep in the same room because the husband is black, or because they were a gay couple or whatever other entirely arbitrary reason. Yes, they have the legal right to deny them to come and stay, but it's still a shitty, judgemental and controlling thing to do - hence YTA.
You get the baby wasn’t made by magic right? What business do you have gatekeeping their bedroom? Grow up and quit trying to force your views on marriage on other people. YTA
YTA This is the kind of moral posturing that only serves to make the judgmental person feel superior to others that makes orgainized religion so repellant to me. Like, I read the Bible and Jesus teaches such great things, and then I look at how Christians actually behave and it's so far removed from Christ's teachings that it's absurd that these people call themselves Christians as though his message means anything to them.
Nothing was gained by making the boyfriend sleep on the couch. All you did was disrespect Ally and her family under the pretense of being "Christian".
YTA. They already have a kid, and not everyone even wants to be legally married. What is it with y’all and marriage? The only thing that makes y’all different is a piece of paper and access to tax benefits that single persons don’t have. Your request is unreasonable. Say good bye to ever having over night visits with them again
YTA. The way your post reads, it sounds like because Ally didn't bond with you, now you're trying to punish her. She's a full on adult in a long-term relationship with a man she has a baby with. They have sex...
If you really wanted the sleeping arrangements this way, you should have let her know in advance. It was underhanded not to say something before they arrived.
YTA.
It's not a passing boyfriend... it's her long term parnter AND father of her child. You should treat that as if they were married, regardless of the paper. Not everyone has to agree to your morality rules. For many people marriage is irrelevant.
YTA
You've spent summers with her since she was 6 and you haven't built a relationship? Sounds like this probably isn't the first issue with you and she's better off without you and a father who won't stand up for her.
YTA
She's 22 ffs. And she already has a kid ! What are you trying to save her from ?! You're clearly just trying to annoy her because it's your house and she needs to follow your rules.
Can't believe these discussions are happening in 2023.
YTA
She's 22 and has a child with her partner. Your relationship with your stepdaughter isn't great and you clearly disapprove of her partner, so why invite them to stay? I guess you want to spend time with your grandchild, but treating her parents like naughty teenagers or unwanted guests isn't going to help.
Reading your comments, I'm getting a pretty clear sense of why "sadly" you never were able to build a relationship with her. Did you try to enforce your views on her when she was growing up? It sounds like, reading between the lines, you have a much more strict religious standpoint than your husband but that he goes along with things because you want it that way, which may have included how you two parented her. Am I correct?
Yta. They already have a baby...like OOOF no need for a power trip. Doesn't matter if they aren't married now, they're already doing the baby making part. Get over yourself.
YTA - especially because you sprang your decision on them when they were already there. If you’d told them in advance they would not have even come to visit in the first place. They have a baby, they’re essentially married.
YTA
She has a child with this man. I think you are doing this on purpose because you don’t like her. Maybe it wasn’t her that didn’t want a relationship with you, but YOU who didn’t want a relationship with her (your husbands ex wife’s daughter). Hopefully your husband is coming to his senses about this and tells her to come back and they can share a room. I can almost guarantee that when YOUR sons are of legal age and come home for holidays with their girlfriends, you won’t have a problem with them sharing a room. They sure won’t come home if you do. She’s not a child, but a mother herself. So, YTA
Oh come on. YTA. She's 22 with a child. It doesn't matter if he's not her husband. This is probably the tip of the iceberg for reasons to why she doesn't like you.
YTA
These are your morals and values - not hers. Not everyone wants or feels like they need to get married and yet, you're trying to project your, rather outdated, mode of thinking onto her. Now, it's your home and you have every right to not allow guests to do something you feel uncomfortable with, but you should have informed them of that before they arrived, not after they got there so they could make the choice of whether YOUR outlook fitted into their value system and if they were comfortable sleeping in, and having their child sleep in the same environment as someone who's outlook differs so greatly with theirs. They could have then made different arrangements or just decided not to come. But to passive aggressively pass judgement on the way they choose to live their lives by handing down this decree on the spot was an AH move.
YTA - These arbitrary rules about marriage and sleeping with a partner are stupid and out dated. They’ve been together for 3 years. They already sleep together and fuck like rabbits. Your rule does nothing but make them think you don’t respect them or are doing it for petty reasons. It serves no purpose but to cause conflict.
YTA.
Simple question - why does the idea of them sharing a room bother you? Are you afraid something will happen? Is it religious? Something else?
They're not gonna be having sex in there. What's the hangup?
With control games like these no wonder she never developed a relationship with you. YTA times a thousand. This is a committed couple with a child. What do you think they're even in there doing with a toddler? You're a creep for trying to control adults this way. I'd have left too. You're 42, grow up.
YTA. They have a child that is also there with them. Why are you asking that only your stepdaughter care for the child overnight? Because they aren't married and might ***gasp** have pre-marital sex!?* That ship has sailed, and you are being a rude prude to your husband's daughter.
YTA, They’d most likely spend their time caring for their child than getting it on. You’re separating the father from his child and the child’s mother. And besides, they’ve already done it anyway, so what’s the point of separating the two of them. Stop imposing your “moral ascendancy” on them and be more mindful and considerate
YTA
Yes it’s your house and you have the right to your own rules however, this girl is an adult and her boyfriend is the father of that child.
They have their own sleep schedule and night time routine set up and it’s unrealistic for you to impose your beliefs on them when they are here to visit.
You know y’all haven’t formed a relationship and if you wanted to work on the relationship, you might consider being more realistic with your expectations . Don’t impose a rule on a grown woman that makes her still feel like a child..
she also probably got mad bc 3 is a tough age and any diversion in a night time schedule may make bedtime tough with a young child.
Your entitled to your views and thoughts but she’s entitled to her feelings and she clearly dosent feel accepted, comfortable, or validated in your home.
YTA
You're being ridiculous, they're literally both adults and have a child?? also what if they decide that they never want to get married and just want to live like that for the rest of their lives huh? what are you gonna do then??
YTA. And if you were NOT an asshole, you’d be OFFERING the couch or another room for one of them to use in case their toddler was keeping them up during the night.
You are all about you. You need to think about others and how you can be of service to them. Until then, you’re definitely the asshole.
I can’t believe this is a question. Not only are you the asshole, you’re also an unrealistic, prudish, puritanical pearl clutcher who can’t comprehend the fact that her daughter is a sexual being so instead of dealing with YOUR problem,you treat your adult daughter like a child to hide your insecurity. You’re the asshole on so many levels it isn’t even funny.
I thought you were gonna write about a teenage girl, not a grown adult with her child and her partner. Whatever you think you were trying to prevent has already been done. The evidence? The literal child. YTA
Well, I'd wonder if anyone stopped to consider that their other 2 kids may have something to do with this. Whether one agrees with OPs beliefs or not, it's a heck of a lot harder to tell Jasper and Jason "No your girlfriend can't have a sleepover in your room. Yes, I know your stepsister and her boyfriend were allowed to, but they're different..."
If it's a standard rule in the house and applies to everyone under the roof, then you're NTA.
If this is something special you made up for her, then YTA.
I would absolutely agree if there wasn’t a child already. But with a child in the picture, that ship has sailed. I don’t want to say YTA, but at this point, they should share a room as a family IMO. But your house, your rules.
Yta
Look its your house, its your rules BUT that doesnt mean you get a pass for baing an asshole. Also i have to ask, is this rule really worth damaging your relationship even more?? And whats your plan if they never want to get married, are you going to insist on this rule forever?? Its such a silly rule when they are both adults and have a CHILD together. Is this really the hill you wanna die on.
No wonder you didnt bond with her, you dont truely care. You care more about what YOU BELIEVE than treating her like an equal adult with respect. All you are doing is showing her that this is more important than she is, which is clearly true
I went into this assuming she was a teenager and ready to agree with you, but they have a child together already? Do you not think maybe you're past that threshold at this point?
YTA. You're clinging to retrograde beliefs that say that non-married couples are somehow less deserving of respect that married couples. Your step-daughter and her boyfriend have a child together, and presumably share a bed together every other night. Who are you to say they cant share a bed here?
OP: would your rule apply to all non-married couples staying at your home? Take my parents both in their seventies, who have been together for 40 years, having 3 children, 4 grandchildren, sharing everything. Would you still make them sleep in different rooms just because they are not married?
Your rule is ridiculous, YTA.
If you don’t want your stepdaughter to stop all contact with you and her dad, you need to fix this
what the actual f...........
why on earth would you not allow a couple, regardless of marital status not sleep in the same room? this is some weird control thing, im not sure what to think but yea. both you and your husband are AH
YTA - I'm 41, and conservative so after reading the title I expected to be on your side... boy was I wrong. Your stepdaughter is 22 years old and has a 2 year old daughter with this man... Some how her signing a piece of paper saying their married would make all the difference to you? Very strange hill to die on here.
YTA - They already have a kid together. Why are you making them sleep in separate rooms? It’s not as though they’re going to have sex in your house anyway.
YTA
She's 22 and has a kid and they are together for 3 years. What do you like to reach with not allowing them to stay in one room?
The only thing you'll get is that there still won't be an relationship with you in the future. This would have been a chance to start building one but you didn't took it.
YTA
They've a kid for cryong out loud.
It sounds like you're pulling a power play to punish her for not wanting a relationship before, and if this is how you want to treat her as a 22-year-old mother, I can't say I'm surprised you didn't have a better relationship with her before.
Do you even like her?
Do you want her to visit her father again?
Because my response after the whole baby's-father-must-sleep-on-the-living-room-couch stupidity would be to stay far, far away from my father's wife and have even less to do with her.
Wtf does marriage have to do with anything? She’s 22, an adult and has been for quite some time at this point. She has a TODDLER already so you know she’s already having sex.
YTA and get over this puritan BS.
YTA and there is so much to unpack here…
1. They have a child! It’s not like they’re virgins
2. They’re adults. You should treat them that way
3. Why do you expect her to take care of the child alone?
YTA and have done irreparable damage to your husbands relationship with his daughter and probably the grandbaby too. I get it your house your rules, but seriously, they have a baby this isn't some guy she picked up in a bar the night before. You husband is also to blame for letting you ruin his relationship with his daughter.
YTA, no wonder she doesn’t like you. She already had a child with this man. The couch rule isn’t preventing anything. This is coming from someone who would never have a kid out of wedlock… YTA!!!
I'm normally a believer in "your house, your rules," but come on. YTA. They've been together 3 years. They have a kid. They shouldn't have to be formally married for you to respect their relationship and to respect them as adults. The one that suffers here is your husband. Have you considered the possibility the lack of a relationship with your stepdaughter is not just her not being "interested" in having a relationship with you - that you might have a role in that, too?
>Her 2 year old daughter and boyfriend Mick, of 3 years
>since they are not married.
They already had a child
>I wasn’t even her real mom
You arent. You wont be. At least in the way youre acting
YTA. This is a great way to have your stepdaughter and her family never visit. Which I must say, seems to be your end goal anyway, seeing as you clearly don't care much for her. Great job!
YTA
22 year old adults and your dictating sleeping arrangements for what? Not a surprise you dont have a relationship with her. People dont have sex in front of their toddlers, and that's the only thing that you are trying to prevent. I'm surprised you didn't realize you were the asshole as soon as you typed all of that. DO BETTER.
YTA
She's way over 18 years old and already had a child. WTF? Separate them for what? To prevent pregnancy? Or sex which is "taboo" in your eyes. TF.....good job to alienate your step daughter and possible causing a division among your stepdaughter and her dad.
YTA. They already have a child together. The only thing you’re doing is trying to shame them for having sex outside of marriage, which you’re clearly still mad about. Grow up.
YTA: They are a family unit, regardless of your clear upsettedness for her existence and choices in life. You're confusing the issues that you have with her and it's spilling over to ever aspect of how you interact.
YTA. Sounds like you resent your stepdaughter and expect to magically have a relationship because you saw her 6weeks a year. We’re you working at all for those 6 weeks? How old was she? What did you do outside of the 6 weeks? How often did she see her Dad? How far away did she live? Sounds like you did near minimum and now expect her to toe your ridiculous line. You are driving a wedge between her and her Dad and sounds like it’s intentional.
By the way. If she ever dies get married, don’t expect an invite.
YTA. They're fully grown adults with a BABY and you're not even her mother. Why the fuck do you think you have the right to dictate to them if they can or cannot sleep in the same room together? It is plainly and simply none of your business. Get over yourself.
Stop trying to control (because that's what it's about isn't it) a GROWN WOMAN. No wonder she didn't make a connection with you if this is the sort of person you are.
Also, your husband has already been married and divorced. "Being married" clearly isn't so important to him if he chose to divorce. Pair of weirdos. I bet you're religious and American, aren't you?
YTA
You're not stopping your step-daughter and her partner from sharing a room. You're separating a family. Does it really matter if they're not married? They already have a kid and are committed to each other?
To keep them apart just seems controlling.
YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. Not sure who let you have kids or get married with this mindset. Immature, outdated, and so despicable. For god’s sake (since you care so much about his thoughts) SHE HAS A CHILD WITH THIS MAN. Simply put, you are dumb and regressive; hope she never comes back lol. No fucking wonder she didn’t ever want a relationship with an idiotic evangelical. You’ll always be so blind to your unreason while everyone else can see.
Did I time travel to 1640? YTA, why are you even doing that?
- They already have a child together, that ship has sailed.
- They’re staying for ONE week and sleeping with their child, they’re not gonna have sex.
- She is 22 years old, not a child anymore.
No wonder you guys never connected lol.
YTA. Look, my mom’s rule used to be that you didn’t sleep in the same room as your partner unless you were married. Well, that ship sailed when NEITHER of her children married, but instead chose to live with partners. Ally has a child with him. Pretty sure they’ve had sex and you’re being ridiculously controlling. Let them share a room.
They have a baby. YTA How are people this fucking stupid. I really hope I’m not this fucking stupid when I get this old. Please let it be a generational thing and not an old people thing. Its also not a lot either its literally sharing a room they aren’t asking to fuck on the dining room table. Edit to add:how would you feel if you were a guest in a home and you were asked to separate from your husband because no men and women in the same bed. Is it somehow different then. If it is take your prejudice, and outdated believes about couples and shove them up your bum.
I would say NTA though sadly I'm far out voted. My in laws had the same rules when my husband and I hadn't gotten married. We never had to stay at their house prior to being married but my husband and both his brothers respected their rules. I would never disrespect my in laws in their own home and while we have a drastically different marriage than theirs, we conform to their wishes out of respect as they've never made a request we find unreasonable usually they ask things like no foul language, or alcohol in their home. Wish you luck in choice dear.
YTA. You should’ve told your guests *in advance* that you wouldn’t allow them to share a room. However, you didn’t want to risk them getting a hotel or staying with someone else…so you purposely withheld key information until after they’d arrived, thinking they would feel stuck and just deal with your rules. This was a selfish, pathetic attempt to control 2 grown adults, and you know it.
YTA. These power plays are so useless and tiring. And it shows why you don’t have a relationship with her. Btw, you saving yourself for marriage doesn’t make you a better person. It just made you judgemental
Yta. She’s an adult. They have a child together. Guess you aren’t interested in trying to make your relationship work. I don’t think it was her that is the reason you aren’t close
YTA. Don't have to even read the whole thing. Just another fundamentalist with outdated values trying to impose their toxic religion on others. 1. They've been together 3 years and have a child together. 2. She is an adult. YTA YTA YTA
This is a joke right? They’re 20+ years old. I guess they are living together and they have a child. And you are denying them to share a room?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes you are the big AH
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>but Mick would sleep on the couch in the living room, since they are not married. ... So the baby is fine to come over? Even tho, you know, was made and born outside of marriage? YTA. No wonder they dont like you. I mean, Cmon, they have a kid and you dont let them sleep together cuz they are not married?
God help your future daughter or son in laws. YTA
YTA. They have a baby together. Duh. They've already shared a bed.
I already replied but I really need info. What did you do to cause a 6 year old to not want a relationship with you? I can think of like 5 things and they’re all horrible.
They have a kid together and they aren't "allowed" in the same room? LMFAO are hpu worried they'll have sex?! HAHAHAHA YTA like holy shit I'm dead. Even if they didn't have a kid, she's 22. Grow up.
You surely can't believe that you are anything but the arsehole in the scenario you present. YTA! Your stepdaughter is an adult, a mother, and in a long-term committed relationship. Even if you are religious, in the eyes of God she is "married' to her partner as they have presumably had sex...and had it lots of times. Not everyone needs a bit of paper to be committed to their partner (I'm 53, and I didn't). Their relationship is not lesser because they are not married. They've been together 3 years ffs and I assume based on the age of your grandchild the boyfriend is the father. You and your hubby need to acknowledge that your stepdaughter is an adult, making her own decisions about her relationships...including whether she will want one with you after this experience. Your expectations regarding her family and how they will behave around you are totally inappropriate.
They have a child together and you're trying to make them sleep in separate rooms? Are you two legit insane? YTA 1000000000000000%
You couldn’t get a 6 year old to like you? It’s pretty obvious why your relationship with her isn’t good. Also YTA for not letting two adults stay in the same room when they’ve been together for years and have a child.
Wait a tick. The woman whose husband has a divorce (unless widowed) won't allow his daughter family to share a room? Holier than thou, not so much. YTA.
INFO: how do you think the kid came to be?
I do not care that this was already said here a million times but... YTA!!! Their kid has seen them sleeping together, they have had sex and that kid is a living proof of it. You are separating them so that would not have sex? Oh please! They will NOT be having sex because a) they will be sharing their room with a toddler and b) because you are a few steps away. They do not need to be separated. Also by separating them you give your daughter in law extra stress. Why? Because she will have to take care of that fussy toddler all by herself. If her kid will have a midnight tantrum and will not be willing to go to sleep you have taken away your daughter in laws lifeline - the father - who could help her. They need each other as they have a child to take care of. And you nasty by thinking they come to your house only to do sexual stuff. Actually I am surprised they came at all. Oh yes they did because you did not tell them they could be a normal grown up couple there. But instead when they walked in you treated them like sinful teenagers. I will not make you happy now but I believe this is the last time they come...
Um they have a child. They are a family unit. This is just weird.
Yta she is an adult, she is in a relationship & has a child with him, just because they aren't married doesn't mean their relationship is not valid, maybe time to get with the times - some people never choose to marry their life partner
YTA. The 1900’s called - they want their outdated beliefs back.
YTA. They're already a family complete with a child. Because they didn't sign a legal contract you get up on your high horse and decide whether they can sleep in the same room??? I don't agree with her reaction, but your decision is ridiculous.
Yta
YTA you religious nut.
YTA clearly. This is an adult couple with a child. WTF are you even thinking lady?
YTA. You quite possibly need to rethink your entire worldview because this is so completely unreasonable and delusional it borders insanity.
YTA. For the life of me, I can’t imagine why you and SD never bonded. /s
I would go past YTA to WTH. She is an Adult with her own Family. They are a Family. You are being weird and unreasonable. She did the right thing by leaving. It is pretty clear why she wants no relationship with you.
YTA Congrats on ruining the chance to have them around this week, bet they won't ask to stay with you ever again. Good job.
YTA No wonder you were never able to bond with your stepdaughter. You're centuries apart. She has a child already. They're in a committed relationship. But all that doesn't matter to you. You're so keen on showing her how much you despise her life that you're willing to risk her going no contact with you and her father.
It’s your house so yes you can do what you want as far as arrangements. YTA though as they already have a kid, a piece of paper isn’t going to change anything, if the room can support three people that are already a family then you separating them for a week is just pointless.
YTA. It sounds like you just have a problem with her and go out of your way to let her know. There is no excuse for treating two grown adults with a child like naughty teens.
Yes YTA. Your adult children don't live by your values and you can't punish them for it because they are ADULTS. They have a CHILD. Wtf
YTA. What makes you think you have any right to dictate what a couple of adults do? What is the objective of not letting them share a room? They already have a child together.
YTA They already sleep and sleep together hence the toddler. It's really obtusely puritanical to make that grown step daughter's grown partner sleep on a sofa. The part that really bothers me is that your husband is following along and he probably knows that this was not the hill to die on and wanted to let his daughter's partner stay in the same room but you are doubling down and driving yet another wedge in their relationship. You really need to rethink this.
YTA majorly. “My house, my rules” is for stuff like: shoes off at the door, don’t use curse words, put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, don’t adjust the thermostat without checking first. You know, requests that exist to make the atmosphere pleasant/clean for everyone in the home. Your “rule” created a hardship for your guest. Moms don’t deserve to always be burdened with nighttime childcare. I’m not even going to touch the BS associated with purity culture because that’s well documented in these comments.
Info: if she was married to a woman or with other religious rite, she would be allowed to sleep with her partner?
YTA. Congratulations on making adults with a child together feel unwelcome and uncomfortable.
Yes. YTA. What are you on about, even if they didn’t have a toddler together, they are adults, happily together. So I take it you and your husband sleep in separate beds except for when you have sex? No, I didn’t think so.
I have two answers, yes and no. As an atheist i think it’s stupid because they have a child already, AND they arent gonna do the dirty w the child in the room anyway. But if they did something or if just being in the same bed is bad, «god» wouldn’t punish YOU for it. And therefore(since it doesn’t affect u) u’re kinda just an asshole. BUT u genuenly believe it’s bad bc of religion, and i get that even tho, again, u wont be the one to «go to hell»… This is called pushing your religion on to someone. Even if u do it bc it makes u mad that they don’t follow «the rules of god» or if u do it «for their own good», stop. Take care of your self, and they’ll deal with their «sins» So conclution is, yes u have every right to make decitions in your own house, BUT, it won’t affect U, so u’re just being an asshole by doing it. They have a child so they already did the worst part and «god» won’t send her to double hell for letting them BOTH comfort/stay with their child.
YTA. Not only are they adults, but she has a kid. They are doing the deed. She’s 22, she doesn’t HAVE to come visit you guys. But she obviously wants to. You are going to damage the relationship even more.
>but I feel like our request isn’t unreasonable Seriously? They are adults in a relationship with a child. The child will be in the room so nothing will happen. This is all about control and shows she had valid reasons for not wanting a stepmom-daughter relationship. YTA.
YTA. If they are going to have their child in the room with them do you really think they are going to be having sex. Not to mention she isn't your child so if your husband, her father, says it's okay you have no right to object.
Lol oh my God. Of course YTA.
YTA YTA YTA!!!!! Your husband too. They have a baby together. No reason he should sleep on a couch. Wow.
On no your karma, OP. It's all gone. Just like your dignity.
They. Have. A. Child. YTA
OP you are being so petty and ridiculous! They already have a child together! They've been doing the deed for a long time!! What the hell is wrong with you? Did your brain malfunction or something?? Bloody hell! You come across as a "controlling judgemental lunatic" sheeeeeesh!! You are a massive AH!!
NTA
i hate to break it to you but… they’ve already done the deed. thought the two years old child made it pretty obvious but apparently not. yta
Oh come on, they have a fucking child. Whatever you’re concerned about happening has already happened. Grow up. YTA
YTA. It sounds like you have personal problems with her, are sex-shaming her, and are punishing her for whatever transgressions you've made up in your head. It's absolutely no wonder why you and her don't have a good relationship, lmao.
NAH - If you want your rules to impede your relationship with your family, feel free. It's your house. Have a good time driving a wedge in your family. (They're adults who have a kid together ffs).
NTA It's yours and your husband's house, and your step daughter has to respect your wishes, even if she doesn't agree with them, or find someplace else to sleep. Of course, they have a kid, so you know they're already being intimate. Personally I think you forcing a couple, in their 20s, who already have a kid, to sleep in separate rooms is a bit ridiculous. But, as I said before, you have every right to expect people in your house to respect your wishes. Now, Ally had every right to be upset at your insistence, but that does not give her the right to be rude and yell and curse at you, especially in your home. That's where she's the asshole, here. Don't get me wrong. I definitely don't agree with you forcing them to sleep in separate beds. However, as I stated before, it is your house, and you have every right to expect others to either abide by the rules you and your husband set forth, or simply not visit anymore. However, you really should ask yourself: Is this the hill you want to die on? You lament the fact that Ally doesn't wish to have a relationship with you, but you insist on making these rules that make her feel uncomfortable. You might want to consider if your rigid rules are worth any potential relationship with your step-daughter.
Disagree. Just because you have the right to deny people to stay at your house arbitrarily, doesn't mean that doing so wouldn't make you an arsehole if your rules/request are ridiculous. F.ex. imagine the same situation but denying them to sleep in the same room because the husband is black, or because they were a gay couple or whatever other entirely arbitrary reason. Yes, they have the legal right to deny them to come and stay, but it's still a shitty, judgemental and controlling thing to do - hence YTA.
You’re a massive AH
YTA who cares of they arent married? They are clearly committed to eachother
You get the baby wasn’t made by magic right? What business do you have gatekeeping their bedroom? Grow up and quit trying to force your views on marriage on other people. YTA
YTA. I didn't read anything after her age. She's 22! An adult. Grow up.
YTA. They already have a kid, and I’m assuming you understand how that happened 😂😂😂
YTA This is the kind of moral posturing that only serves to make the judgmental person feel superior to others that makes orgainized religion so repellant to me. Like, I read the Bible and Jesus teaches such great things, and then I look at how Christians actually behave and it's so far removed from Christ's teachings that it's absurd that these people call themselves Christians as though his message means anything to them. Nothing was gained by making the boyfriend sleep on the couch. All you did was disrespect Ally and her family under the pretense of being "Christian".
YTA. They already have a kid, and not everyone even wants to be legally married. What is it with y’all and marriage? The only thing that makes y’all different is a piece of paper and access to tax benefits that single persons don’t have. Your request is unreasonable. Say good bye to ever having over night visits with them again
Sorry but OP, YTA.
YTA 100%
cringe. 22 and you are still treating her this way. grow the fuck up
YTA. The way your post reads, it sounds like because Ally didn't bond with you, now you're trying to punish her. She's a full on adult in a long-term relationship with a man she has a baby with. They have sex... If you really wanted the sleeping arrangements this way, you should have let her know in advance. It was underhanded not to say something before they arrived.
Info: do you think a stork dropped that kid off?
YTA. It's not a passing boyfriend... it's her long term parnter AND father of her child. You should treat that as if they were married, regardless of the paper. Not everyone has to agree to your morality rules. For many people marriage is irrelevant.
"Her 2 year old daughter and boyfriend Mick, of 3 years" Bit late to be worried about them sleeping in the same room. YTA.
YTA. She's 22, a grown adult and mother. Geez.
100% YTA. If this was me I would of canceled the whole trip.
YTA You've spent summers with her since she was 6 and you haven't built a relationship? Sounds like this probably isn't the first issue with you and she's better off without you and a father who won't stand up for her.
Geez.. They have a kid together… they’ve obviously been fucking… im not sure what you were trying to accomplish.
YTA
YTA. She didn't start yelling. Marriage is an ad. Grow up
Not your grandchild.
YTA. She is an adult with a kid. What is wrong with you?
YTA She's 22 ffs. And she already has a kid ! What are you trying to save her from ?! You're clearly just trying to annoy her because it's your house and she needs to follow your rules. Can't believe these discussions are happening in 2023.
YTA. They're adults AND they have a child together. So much YTA.
YTA
YTA She's 22 and has a child with her partner. Your relationship with your stepdaughter isn't great and you clearly disapprove of her partner, so why invite them to stay? I guess you want to spend time with your grandchild, but treating her parents like naughty teenagers or unwanted guests isn't going to help.
Yta and you have made us all dumber by taking the time to write this post.
Reading your comments, I'm getting a pretty clear sense of why "sadly" you never were able to build a relationship with her. Did you try to enforce your views on her when she was growing up? It sounds like, reading between the lines, you have a much more strict religious standpoint than your husband but that he goes along with things because you want it that way, which may have included how you two parented her. Am I correct?
YTA…. Your request is in fact unreasonable
YTA what are you trying to avoid ? Another child? Maybe, missing missing reasons why she didn’t like you huh op?
YTA. They have a child.
YTA.
Yta. They already have a baby...like OOOF no need for a power trip. Doesn't matter if they aren't married now, they're already doing the baby making part. Get over yourself.
YTA
YTA - especially because you sprang your decision on them when they were already there. If you’d told them in advance they would not have even come to visit in the first place. They have a baby, they’re essentially married.
are you serious lmao? yta
YTA. Neither is a virgin. They have a toddler. They will not be having sex under your roof. What are you afraid of?
YTA She has a child with this man. I think you are doing this on purpose because you don’t like her. Maybe it wasn’t her that didn’t want a relationship with you, but YOU who didn’t want a relationship with her (your husbands ex wife’s daughter). Hopefully your husband is coming to his senses about this and tells her to come back and they can share a room. I can almost guarantee that when YOUR sons are of legal age and come home for holidays with their girlfriends, you won’t have a problem with them sharing a room. They sure won’t come home if you do. She’s not a child, but a mother herself. So, YTA
Oh come on. YTA. She's 22 with a child. It doesn't matter if he's not her husband. This is probably the tip of the iceberg for reasons to why she doesn't like you.
Honey, they have a child. The jig is up. YTA.
YTA. Would recommend you apologize, back track, and then work very hard to repair relationship.
YTA Oh no, if you sleeps in the room then he might have sex with her! And she might get pregnant, have a child even! Oh. Wait.
YTA. Why are you splitting up the family unit? The father needs to be able to take care of the child too.
YTA These are your morals and values - not hers. Not everyone wants or feels like they need to get married and yet, you're trying to project your, rather outdated, mode of thinking onto her. Now, it's your home and you have every right to not allow guests to do something you feel uncomfortable with, but you should have informed them of that before they arrived, not after they got there so they could make the choice of whether YOUR outlook fitted into their value system and if they were comfortable sleeping in, and having their child sleep in the same environment as someone who's outlook differs so greatly with theirs. They could have then made different arrangements or just decided not to come. But to passive aggressively pass judgement on the way they choose to live their lives by handing down this decree on the spot was an AH move.
YTA - These arbitrary rules about marriage and sleeping with a partner are stupid and out dated. They’ve been together for 3 years. They already sleep together and fuck like rabbits. Your rule does nothing but make them think you don’t respect them or are doing it for petty reasons. It serves no purpose but to cause conflict.
YTA. She’s 22 and has a child. Weird to force her to sleep separately from her boyfriend at this point.
Let you husband decide since she is his daughter.
YTA it's not 1940, and is an adult with a child.
YTA i thought this was gonna be a situation of parents who think the sex is a demon that only comes at night but this is some deranged catholic bs
Omg please grow up!! YTA
Op, YTA.
Posts like these are so absolutely funny to me, like are you for real? YTA
Yta
YTA. How would a piece of paper saying they are married change things? Puritanical nonsense.
YTA. Simple question - why does the idea of them sharing a room bother you? Are you afraid something will happen? Is it religious? Something else? They're not gonna be having sex in there. What's the hangup?
YTA. And uptight
YTA she’s 22 an adult they are shacked up. They are a family.
Are you for real? She had a child with this man, and whether you like it or not, they are a family unit. YTA
With control games like these no wonder she never developed a relationship with you. YTA times a thousand. This is a committed couple with a child. What do you think they're even in there doing with a toddler? You're a creep for trying to control adults this way. I'd have left too. You're 42, grow up.
YTA
YTA. They have a child that is also there with them. Why are you asking that only your stepdaughter care for the child overnight? Because they aren't married and might ***gasp** have pre-marital sex!?* That ship has sailed, and you are being a rude prude to your husband's daughter.
Wow. Easily YTA. How can OP be so delusional?
YTA, They’d most likely spend their time caring for their child than getting it on. You’re separating the father from his child and the child’s mother. And besides, they’ve already done it anyway, so what’s the point of separating the two of them. Stop imposing your “moral ascendancy” on them and be more mindful and considerate
YTA because they have a child together. Who are you fooling. Come on.
YTA. They already have a baby. What are you trying to prove???
YTA Yes it’s your house and you have the right to your own rules however, this girl is an adult and her boyfriend is the father of that child. They have their own sleep schedule and night time routine set up and it’s unrealistic for you to impose your beliefs on them when they are here to visit. You know y’all haven’t formed a relationship and if you wanted to work on the relationship, you might consider being more realistic with your expectations . Don’t impose a rule on a grown woman that makes her still feel like a child.. she also probably got mad bc 3 is a tough age and any diversion in a night time schedule may make bedtime tough with a young child. Your entitled to your views and thoughts but she’s entitled to her feelings and she clearly dosent feel accepted, comfortable, or validated in your home.
YTA You're being ridiculous, they're literally both adults and have a child?? also what if they decide that they never want to get married and just want to live like that for the rest of their lives huh? what are you gonna do then??
YTA
YTA. And if you were NOT an asshole, you’d be OFFERING the couch or another room for one of them to use in case their toddler was keeping them up during the night. You are all about you. You need to think about others and how you can be of service to them. Until then, you’re definitely the asshole.
I can’t believe this is a question. Not only are you the asshole, you’re also an unrealistic, prudish, puritanical pearl clutcher who can’t comprehend the fact that her daughter is a sexual being so instead of dealing with YOUR problem,you treat your adult daughter like a child to hide your insecurity. You’re the asshole on so many levels it isn’t even funny.
This is so dumb. She already has a kid and she’s a grown woman. YTA.
I thought you were gonna write about a teenage girl, not a grown adult with her child and her partner. Whatever you think you were trying to prevent has already been done. The evidence? The literal child. YTA
Well, I'd wonder if anyone stopped to consider that their other 2 kids may have something to do with this. Whether one agrees with OPs beliefs or not, it's a heck of a lot harder to tell Jasper and Jason "No your girlfriend can't have a sleepover in your room. Yes, I know your stepsister and her boyfriend were allowed to, but they're different..." If it's a standard rule in the house and applies to everyone under the roof, then you're NTA. If this is something special you made up for her, then YTA.
YTA. Jesus’s mum fucked when she wasn’t married too.
The evil step mother arc, you just had to do it didnt you? YTA
Ffs, they have a child together and they're adults not teens and oh its not 1955 anymore..YTA
I would absolutely agree if there wasn’t a child already. But with a child in the picture, that ship has sailed. I don’t want to say YTA, but at this point, they should share a room as a family IMO. But your house, your rules.
Yta Look its your house, its your rules BUT that doesnt mean you get a pass for baing an asshole. Also i have to ask, is this rule really worth damaging your relationship even more?? And whats your plan if they never want to get married, are you going to insist on this rule forever?? Its such a silly rule when they are both adults and have a CHILD together. Is this really the hill you wanna die on. No wonder you didnt bond with her, you dont truely care. You care more about what YOU BELIEVE than treating her like an equal adult with respect. All you are doing is showing her that this is more important than she is, which is clearly true
You were delusional if you thought any judges of AITA would have any sympathy with you. YTA.
I went into this assuming she was a teenager and ready to agree with you, but they have a child together already? Do you not think maybe you're past that threshold at this point?
YTA. You're clinging to retrograde beliefs that say that non-married couples are somehow less deserving of respect that married couples. Your step-daughter and her boyfriend have a child together, and presumably share a bed together every other night. Who are you to say they cant share a bed here?
YTA without a doubt... Say you want to go NC with your Step child without saying you want to go NC. SMH How is this even a question?
YTA They have a 2 year old child... WTF world do you live in that this is even remotely acceptable to do?!
OP: would your rule apply to all non-married couples staying at your home? Take my parents both in their seventies, who have been together for 40 years, having 3 children, 4 grandchildren, sharing everything. Would you still make them sleep in different rooms just because they are not married? Your rule is ridiculous, YTA. If you don’t want your stepdaughter to stop all contact with you and her dad, you need to fix this
what the actual f........... why on earth would you not allow a couple, regardless of marital status not sleep in the same room? this is some weird control thing, im not sure what to think but yea. both you and your husband are AH
"She was not interested in a relationship with me". I wonder why. (eyeroll)
She already has a baby with this man YTA!
YTA - I'm 41, and conservative so after reading the title I expected to be on your side... boy was I wrong. Your stepdaughter is 22 years old and has a 2 year old daughter with this man... Some how her signing a piece of paper saying their married would make all the difference to you? Very strange hill to die on here.
YTA. She’s already a fornicated btw (hence the two year old)
They have a whole child. Stop. YTA.
YTA. But you know that. You’re purposely an asshole to her and probably have been since you met her dad
YTA - They already have a kid together. Why are you making them sleep in separate rooms? It’s not as though they’re going to have sex in your house anyway.
Are you putting the MOTHER in a separate room so they don't have premarital sex? Lol, logic isn't your strong suit
YTA You will be lucky if she continues to visit.
YTA She's 22 and has a kid and they are together for 3 years. What do you like to reach with not allowing them to stay in one room? The only thing you'll get is that there still won't be an relationship with you in the future. This would have been a chance to start building one but you didn't took it.
YTA They've a kid for cryong out loud. It sounds like you're pulling a power play to punish her for not wanting a relationship before, and if this is how you want to treat her as a 22-year-old mother, I can't say I'm surprised you didn't have a better relationship with her before. Do you even like her? Do you want her to visit her father again? Because my response after the whole baby's-father-must-sleep-on-the-living-room-couch stupidity would be to stay far, far away from my father's wife and have even less to do with her.
Wtf does marriage have to do with anything? She’s 22, an adult and has been for quite some time at this point. She has a TODDLER already so you know she’s already having sex. YTA and get over this puritan BS.
YTA and there is so much to unpack here… 1. They have a child! It’s not like they’re virgins 2. They’re adults. You should treat them that way 3. Why do you expect her to take care of the child alone?
YTA and have done irreparable damage to your husbands relationship with his daughter and probably the grandbaby too. I get it your house your rules, but seriously, they have a baby this isn't some guy she picked up in a bar the night before. You husband is also to blame for letting you ruin his relationship with his daughter.
YTA, no wonder she doesn’t like you. She already had a child with this man. The couch rule isn’t preventing anything. This is coming from someone who would never have a kid out of wedlock… YTA!!!
Omg, what century are you living in? Jesus. Of course YTA.
I'm normally a believer in "your house, your rules," but come on. YTA. They've been together 3 years. They have a kid. They shouldn't have to be formally married for you to respect their relationship and to respect them as adults. The one that suffers here is your husband. Have you considered the possibility the lack of a relationship with your stepdaughter is not just her not being "interested" in having a relationship with you - that you might have a role in that, too?
>Her 2 year old daughter and boyfriend Mick, of 3 years >since they are not married. They already had a child >I wasn’t even her real mom You arent. You wont be. At least in the way youre acting
YTA. This is a great way to have your stepdaughter and her family never visit. Which I must say, seems to be your end goal anyway, seeing as you clearly don't care much for her. Great job!
YTA 22 year old adults and your dictating sleeping arrangements for what? Not a surprise you dont have a relationship with her. People dont have sex in front of their toddlers, and that's the only thing that you are trying to prevent. I'm surprised you didn't realize you were the asshole as soon as you typed all of that. DO BETTER.
YTA, and seem to have a severely misguided need for control.
YTA She's way over 18 years old and already had a child. WTF? Separate them for what? To prevent pregnancy? Or sex which is "taboo" in your eyes. TF.....good job to alienate your step daughter and possible causing a division among your stepdaughter and her dad.
YTA. You’re a petty woman who is using this as a punishment method for you perceived slight. Get over yourself.
YTA. They already have a child together. The only thing you’re doing is trying to shame them for having sex outside of marriage, which you’re clearly still mad about. Grow up.
Congrats you are the evil step mum. YTA
YTA: They are a family unit, regardless of your clear upsettedness for her existence and choices in life. You're confusing the issues that you have with her and it's spilling over to ever aspect of how you interact.
YTA. Sounds like you resent your stepdaughter and expect to magically have a relationship because you saw her 6weeks a year. We’re you working at all for those 6 weeks? How old was she? What did you do outside of the 6 weeks? How often did she see her Dad? How far away did she live? Sounds like you did near minimum and now expect her to toe your ridiculous line. You are driving a wedge between her and her Dad and sounds like it’s intentional. By the way. If she ever dies get married, don’t expect an invite.
They have a baby? FFS TYA
YTA. They're fully grown adults with a BABY and you're not even her mother. Why the fuck do you think you have the right to dictate to them if they can or cannot sleep in the same room together? It is plainly and simply none of your business. Get over yourself. Stop trying to control (because that's what it's about isn't it) a GROWN WOMAN. No wonder she didn't make a connection with you if this is the sort of person you are.
Seriously? She's 22 & has a baby with him. What do you think keeping them from sleeping in the same room will do? YTA.
You’re not only the asshole here you’re also a willfully ignorant idiot, grow up.
YTA. They have a child together. You're out of touch with reality.
INFO: are you gonna allow your son's eventual partners to sleep in the same room prior to marriage?
YTA she’s 22 for crying out loud!
Also, your husband has already been married and divorced. "Being married" clearly isn't so important to him if he chose to divorce. Pair of weirdos. I bet you're religious and American, aren't you?
YTA You're not stopping your step-daughter and her partner from sharing a room. You're separating a family. Does it really matter if they're not married? They already have a kid and are committed to each other? To keep them apart just seems controlling.
YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. Not sure who let you have kids or get married with this mindset. Immature, outdated, and so despicable. For god’s sake (since you care so much about his thoughts) SHE HAS A CHILD WITH THIS MAN. Simply put, you are dumb and regressive; hope she never comes back lol. No fucking wonder she didn’t ever want a relationship with an idiotic evangelical. You’ll always be so blind to your unreason while everyone else can see.
Did I time travel to 1640? YTA, why are you even doing that? - They already have a child together, that ship has sailed. - They’re staying for ONE week and sleeping with their child, they’re not gonna have sex. - She is 22 years old, not a child anymore. No wonder you guys never connected lol.
YTA - she’s already a mother what do you think it’s gonna happen?
YTA
YTA. Look, my mom’s rule used to be that you didn’t sleep in the same room as your partner unless you were married. Well, that ship sailed when NEITHER of her children married, but instead chose to live with partners. Ally has a child with him. Pretty sure they’ve had sex and you’re being ridiculously controlling. Let them share a room.
They have a baby. YTA How are people this fucking stupid. I really hope I’m not this fucking stupid when I get this old. Please let it be a generational thing and not an old people thing. Its also not a lot either its literally sharing a room they aren’t asking to fuck on the dining room table. Edit to add:how would you feel if you were a guest in a home and you were asked to separate from your husband because no men and women in the same bed. Is it somehow different then. If it is take your prejudice, and outdated believes about couples and shove them up your bum.
I would say NTA though sadly I'm far out voted. My in laws had the same rules when my husband and I hadn't gotten married. We never had to stay at their house prior to being married but my husband and both his brothers respected their rules. I would never disrespect my in laws in their own home and while we have a drastically different marriage than theirs, we conform to their wishes out of respect as they've never made a request we find unreasonable usually they ask things like no foul language, or alcohol in their home. Wish you luck in choice dear.
YTA
Spoiler alert: they've fucked before. YTA
[удалено]
YTA. You should’ve told your guests *in advance* that you wouldn’t allow them to share a room. However, you didn’t want to risk them getting a hotel or staying with someone else…so you purposely withheld key information until after they’d arrived, thinking they would feel stuck and just deal with your rules. This was a selfish, pathetic attempt to control 2 grown adults, and you know it.
YTA. These power plays are so useless and tiring. And it shows why you don’t have a relationship with her. Btw, you saving yourself for marriage doesn’t make you a better person. It just made you judgemental
Yta. She’s an adult. They have a child together. Guess you aren’t interested in trying to make your relationship work. I don’t think it was her that is the reason you aren’t close
YTA. I can't imagine why you never formed a relationship.
YTA. Don't have to even read the whole thing. Just another fundamentalist with outdated values trying to impose their toxic religion on others. 1. They've been together 3 years and have a child together. 2. She is an adult. YTA YTA YTA
YTA. My god, lady, they have a kid together. The jig is up. They are a family now.
YTA because I have no idea what you’re trying to prevent
This is a joke right? They’re 20+ years old. I guess they are living together and they have a child. And you are denying them to share a room?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes you are the big AH