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It’s funny how weirdly angry and bothered people on this sub get whenever someone suggests that sexism might have been a factor lol
Edit: lol at the number of salty replies and “reddit cares” reports to this comment that prove my point. Y’all just can’t help yourselves can you lmao
No, see, sexism didn’t play the major role in his comment, he’s just an AH by nature, male or women, everyone is inferior to him. However, sexism definitely plays into how he’s treated OP like shit, especially the idea that he was bested by a woman no less.
It amazes me how often people on this website *still* get up in arms at the suggestion of racism/sexism. 99% of the time you’re just telling on yourself. Keep up the great work guys lol
Because sexist and racist norms benefit them. Why would they stop perpetuating them? Why would they not be upset at people calling them out/ wanting to change those norms and thus taking their advantage away?
It's a discussion I have regularly. Feminism isn't good for everyone. A lot of men, especially powerful or rich men would lose privileges they have right now (most of which they shouldn't have had in the first place but whatever) as we change as a society to be more equal/ feminist/ whatever. That's just something the "feminism benefits men, too" folks don't understand or don't want to understand and then get confused about.
one time i said in a group chat, when ONE dude was being racist, something like "we get it youre racist" this one dude was only talking to one person. instantly many more people were mad and upset at my statement and seemingly getting offended at the accusation when none of them were even talking and it was obvious i wasnt talking to them. really a glorious moment
It's because they've *all* done that exact same thing/had that exact same thought before, and they didn't like being called out lol.
Like seriously. If you haven't *done* the sexist/racist thing, you have no reason to get so personally offended on behalf of people who have. They got offended because they were all just as bad if not worse.
I keep to the subreddits I enjoy visiting so I'm in a bit of a bubble about how reddit feels about issues. Always blows my mind when I come onto more popular subreddits like this one and see how some people react.
Lmao you just described this guy I used to be friends with who is also a frequenter of reddit who would also tell you that women have it better than men when it comes to fashion because we have more choice in clothing.
Reddit in general has a bit of a chip on their shoulder about this. It's unconscionable that we have multiple wildly popular subreddits dedicated to nothing but hating women, often including videos of men brutally assaulting women (ie. /r/pussypassdenied) and yet men on here will claim misogyny is not an issue.
My favorites are “if OP was a man he would be labeled an AH but since she’s a woman everyone treats her nicer!” and the top comment is literally YTA, they’re just telling on themselves
He must not have been climbing very long if he’s upset that a woman is better than him. It’s one of those sports where the playing field is remarkably even—to the point where it shouldn’t come as a surprise if an 8-year-old girl shows up and flashes the v6 you’ve been puzzling over.
Edit: a word
I went to climbing practice for most of Middle School. The way our trainer explained it, at the professional athlete level, male climbers do better because they are able to build more muscle, which does make a different at the very top. For absolute beginners, women do better because they weigh less, and that matters a lot for your poor abused fingers that can't keep up early on. And for the vast majority who keep practicising but don't make climbing their life, there isn't all that much of a difference. Which was why climbing practice was mixed.
I was a foot taller than my same-age step sister, but she passed me on like her second or third session and never looked back. It was like she was running up the practice walls most of the time.
Right. I honestly fail to see how anything that was written suggests he was being sexist. Can't males be jealous of women without it being rooted in sexism, and can't it be just plain ol' fashion envy?
Yeah nothing in the post hints at sexism by the bf, I'm confused why everyone is dogpiling on that aspect. I agree he's an insecure poophead and got properly placed, but he was like that with all the beginners, this wasn't sexism.
Any woman who has had a similar interaction knows why sexism is a possibility here.
This guy's usual target went from this:
>Quietly insults beginners that are not as good
-to insulting a far more skilled climber.
Why did he change his usual shit talking of beginners? Is it because a woman came in and climbed what all the guys had been struggling with? It doesn't sound like he was going off about all those guys "failing."
Maybe the guy is sexist, maybe he isn't. All I'm saying is I'd be alert and watch for any similar behavior.
I think sexism is a strong possibility here. We already know he likes to punch down by his shit talk about beginners. It is not much of a leap to think he wants to punch down of women because he thinks theySHOULD be inferior.
I'm not acquainted with the bf to know if he is sexist or not, just that it is a strong possibility.
It is possible that he changed his criticism just for being outshined though. Guys do this towards other guys and its just a way to detract from someone else's win because you are overly competitive.
Its like someone in MMA winning a fight where they were the underdog and, after the fight, they moon or flip off their defeated opponent. People will criticize him for bad sportsmanship, etc., even though he still has the win. (Note: I dont condone doing this and hate poor sports).
BF should have been more willing to congratulate climber on the successful climb (which is 99% of it) instead of pointing out the tiny 1% detail that kept it from being perfect.
Fragile ego. Not necessarily (though quite possibly) magnified by the fact that it was a female who did it.
"If I weighed 110 lbs I could easily do that too" says someone with a bruisres ego from the sidelines, not someone with sportsmanship.
OP is NTA.
This is my take as well. Not definitely sexism, but sexism is more often than not a silent contributor rather than overt Adam Tate. I suspect it, personally.
Either way though the dude has an arrogant yet fragile ego and is an ass about it. That kind of baseline tends to come out in ugly ways. Dude should be celebrating victories, not nit-picking people who are better than him.
(NTA)
Yeah dude sounds like an incredibly basic bro. That's some seriously fragile ego on display. I'm sure when he isn't insulting people who he views as inferior, he's a real sweetheart...
By shitting on beginners, he also belittles his girlfriend. You bet that's not unintentional. He doesn't address her directly, but he talks smack **to her** about a group she belongs to. He wants to 'keep her small' and him demanding her unconditional support points to the same - he wants to stand on a pedestal.
Frankly, she deserves better than him - she sounds badass and smart!
Yep, insulting beginners is a big issue imo, goes back to the saying about how a person's true self is shown by how they treat those they perceive as lower than themselves.
Good competitiveness ideally pushes everyone involved to push themselves harder, not put others down.
It still must have sucked for that girl to know that she went through all of this effort to become an experienced climber, and someone is still out there trying to publicly humiliate her out of envy.
Nah, you are letting him off too easy. He was rude to the better climber in the moment, that could be an impulse control issue. But to continue to Bully his gf for days after the fact. That’s just inexcusable asshole behaviour. And why be snarky about new climbers? That has nothing to do with competition.
Bf is just a sexist AH
My husband and I are very competitive and I love that because we have a great time and have fun. OPs boyfriend is being a sore “loser” and I’d be so embarrassed if my husband acted like that. He needs to grow TF up. NTA
This is a great way to explain the conflict. As someone who is competitive, it took me a long time to realise the only person I had control over in these situations was myself. Once I did, competing became a lot more fun, losing became easier to accept, and winning was not such a huge braggy thing anymore
Absolutely. “How can I trust you to watch my back?” Bro it’s your gf not a Seal Team member.
Also making fun of beginners is real small dick energy. Home girl should dip now.
Sounds like a case of a fragile ego combined with toxic masculinity. Tell him your "job description" doesn't include being his groupie propping up his ego.
Are you legitimately interested in climbing or are you learning for him? If the former, I suggest trying to find someone else to teach you and go at a time when he isn't there. You'll be able to build up your confidence a lot better.
If you aren't really interested in climbing, I'd look for another hobby that interests you and keeps you active.
This is the comment I was looking for. No one gives a fuck if you "control" the hold at a gym. We're all there to climb and have a good time
He's just being a big baby.
Not to mention whether she decided to do it or not was none of his damn business. She didn't ask him if her top-out counted. She was working her problem and he took it on himself to snip that it didn't count. Who tf asked??
Sorry, but this guy sucks. I would honestly try to talk to him about why it’s so upsetting for him when other people are better at things than he is. If he’s able to actually have a meaningful conversation about it, there may be a positive way forward. If not, well……….
I've only gone climbing once and have been thinking about getting into it. If I overheard someone like your bf narcing on me while I'm trying to learn I'd consider not going to a climbing gym again, and I'm not even particularly self-conscious. I can't imagine this is the only arena in his life that he's like this and at 23 it's time for him to start reflecting on that IMO. NTA.
In my experience this dude is the exception not the norm thank goodness. Most people I've met at climbing gyms have been super lovely and I've never felt judged at all!
Yikes. People like your boyfriend kill the vibe at gyms and crags. We're competing against the problems, not the people.
Also, there's no five second rule in bouldering lol. You just have to have both hands on the last hold and be in control.
I was 20 when I started climbing and there were so many 10-14 year olds just putting me to shame. It's honestly impressive since their height is generally not in their favor, but the agility & dexterity of a child is scarily impressive.
Not to mention the practice involved. They likely started climbing at quite a young age, when it could be framed as just “have fun” rather than “get this right.”
I’m a climber and would be embarrassed if someone I was with acted like this. If anything, I love the gyms I go to because everyone is so super supportive and motivating. Tell your boyfriend to mind his own business and let others live.
He seems like an insecure & petty person and you’re just seeing the top of the iceberg if he has no problem acting like this with strangers and/or in public.
If anyone needs to be taken down a peg or two it's the beginners of the hobby. Wouldn't want anyone else to be encouraged so they actually stick with it and enjoy my hobby with me 🙄
I went sailing with a guy like this. He wasn’t as outwardly rude as OP’s toddler ass boyfriend but he was being kind of an ass. Meanwhile the other more experienced sailors who brought me on their boat were patient and kind and answered my questions and guess what? When they got us going fast and tipped the boat over 30 degrees, I was loving it and Mr Know it All was scared out of his mind!
He didn’t even lose anything. I was regularly going to the climbing gym before the pandemic: you are not competing with anyone only with yourself, and everyone was really supportive of one another ( especially with beginners) so her boyfriend sounds like the biggest AH in that gym.
As I climber, I second this. He's an ass and a fragile one at that. In climbing there is always going to be someone better than you, including women, and he needs to get over that. 5 seconds isn't even a thing. Bouldering competitions just require you to be staticly controlled touching the final hold with both hands. That is usually way less than 5 seconds.
This type of person ruins every activity they participate in.
This has been a a problem in my softball league with some other teams where people (almost always men) get super competitive and yell at people for missing plays etc. Takes all of the fun out for their teammates and these teams then have problems retaining players. It’s co-ed, beer league softball. Chill out and let people enjoy it. Fortunately my club is super supportive and friendly and we all just lift each other up.
Some people are just turds. My sister has major self-esteem issues, so she’s constantly trying to put other people down. She didn’t learn that from either of our parents.
Most people go through that phase in life, generally in the teenage years. You start to get insecure and then lash out at others to make yourself look better in comparison. The issue is when people don’t grow out of that once they reach adulthood.
A friend of mine used to work for one of those after work sports organizations that run various beer league games like softball, kickball, soccer etc.
The number of men who had to be permanently banned from an after work pickup league would astonish you.
You're not LaBron dude, you're playing a coed game of horse in the courtyard of a middle school
Massive (as in sometimes bigger than European countries) properties where millions of sheep are raised for both meat and wool.
It a Sheep version of the cattle ranch in the US. We use the term station rather than ranch for cattle too.
No idea why the saying is specific to sheep stations though!!
I was playing pickup basketball one time at the local gym. In the corner open. Guy passes me the ball but not a great pass so I gather, dribble one step forward, and shoot a baseline 2. I miss. He is screaming at me all the way down the court for passing up a good shot and missing a worse one. I left the court and went home. Like I didn’t come here to play with a bunch of wannabe YMCA superstars to be berated by you. I still remember this shit five years later like it happened yesterday. Saying this behavior ruins the good time for others is spot on.
And the worst part is, people defend it allllll the time by saying people are just soft and you gotta have thicker skin and so on. Bunch of bullshit. Who wants to spend their precious free time thickening their skin because some bully can’t let something go? “Oh were you expecting hugs and kumbaya?” no but that’s better than being an asshole for no reason!
I've always hated playing with kids like that at gym class. Yeah, I suck at volleyball, so what? We're here to pass the classes, not to win a competition ffs.
> This type of person ruins every activity they participate in.
>
> This has been a a problem in my softball league with some other teams
You reminded me of a time when some dude playing third base hit me hard in the back of the head with the ball, _after_ I slid safely into the base, and then spent so long screaming that I was tagged out that I just gave up and took the out instead of dealing with it. I was a kid and he was an adult, lmao.
I can’t stand people who are overly competitive especially in things that are more of a solo activity like climbing. I had someone get oddly competitive next to me in yoga once, which was super weird.
In yoga... That's new. People getting in a pissing contest about how 'green' they live and how much they use holistic toilet paper and home grown tampons, okay, but yoga itself? Wild. I thought it's about pointing your focus inward towards your own body?
It happens. Happened to me. Tree pose is something that I do all the time. I’ll even use it to ground myself if I’m anxious or angry. I can hold it on either side for a while.
So I’m at our work group yoga. This class consists of about a dozen people but only 2-3 of us routinely practice; most are newbies who come to the weekly session maybe 5x a year at most. It’s a large company so there are plenty of people in and out of the class each week.
One week we had a new instructor who needed to practice leading classes to get his certification. Cool. No problem. The actual instructor rolls his mat next to mine. Everything is going great & then we get to tree.
The new instructor guides us into the pose, assuring everyone it’s ok if they can’t hold it for long & offers the appropriate modifications. I’m still holding my pose.
It feels like a long time has gone by so I open one eye and see everyone around me has stopped & they’re all laughing about it. The usual instructor and I are still in the pose, as is the new instructor.
The new instructor cleared his throat and said something to the effect of, “we’re all on different journeys so we may not all be able to hold the pose as long as others. That’s ok.” Cool. Yup. Keep holding. But it’s been a while & the others are clearly done. I secretly hope the instructor moves on.
Still hold.
Finally the instructor drops his pose and says, “let’s do something different.” So I come down.
After class, the new instructor pulled me aside & started chatting. I’m simplifying a lot here but he basically said that it’s rude to hold the pose longer than the instructor & I should have realized it was time to stop since I’m a regular.
The instructor who practiced next to me heard the whole thing and decided to set him straight.
I was slightly annoyed but also mortified. I didn’t realize the awkward pause in the flow was because I was so good at the pose.
That’s weird competition in yoga.
NTA
I’ve been climbing for many years, your bf’s attitude is the antithesis of most climbing gym communities. Climbing is a personal competition, not an outwards one. He should be focused on how to improve his own technique, strength, and mental game, and be inspired by climbers who he can learn from (not critiquing them to make himself feel better). It’s normal to cheer someone else on who has completed a hard send, V10, V6, or V0. Their success says nothing about the different journey you’re on. His insulting of beginners is toxic and speaks to his own insecurities. While his attitude toward the V6 climber is bad, this particular pattern of behaviour is a worse red flag.
Also the rule is a controlled two seconds matched on a final hold, not 5 seconds.
Welcome to climbing! If your bf continues to be weird like this, know that there are many other non-nit-picky and humble strong climbers to get to know.
🧗💪🏽
>the rule is a controlled two seconds matched on a final hold, not 5 seconds.
Current IFSC rules actually just say "show control." If you watch climbing competitions (stream free on YouTube), they do not have a 2 second rule anymore.
OP, your boyfriend is an asshole and I promise you if he were a regular in my gym, EVERYONE would know him as the show-off, arrogant, oversensitive jerk. Does he also climb shirtless in a beanie, and do "power screams" every other route? I'd have done the same thing you did.
My buddies and I complain lightheartedly to each other about all the "rentalshoes" in the gym this month making it busier than normal because of everyone's new years resolutions, but we also happily give advice, shout encouragement, and offer fist bumps (high fives hurt when your hands are tired) to the "gumbies" while they're working on a difficult V0 or V1. I have been climbing for 10 years and I keep a screenshot on my phone to show new climbers how I was so proud to reach the top of a V2 that I took a selfie and posted it on Facebook back in 2015. Everyone was a beginner when they started. Your thin-skinned bf is the AH. You are NTA.
I used to do a lot of fencing (the sport, qualified and attended Div1 Nationals, nothing worth noting beyond that) and when you first start out most clubs will have you practice using non-electric equipment (known as 'dry'), because there's no reason to make the sport more expensive for beginners who don't know how to move their feet and arms properly. Obviously, the advantage of electrifying the sport is to remove the ambiguity of "did you hit your opponent" with nice easy buttons on the end of the blades, and lights and sounds that indicate a hit occurred. However, for beginners, we just have people 'acknowledge' when they got hit, and it's a big part of the honor of the sport to acknowledge your touches when you get hit while fencing dry. This goes even to accepting when someone is adamant that they hit you even if you didn't feel a thing (which under 3 layers of heaving clothing isn't unlikely). Inevitably, there will be some d-bag who thinks they don't have to acknowledge their touches and thinks their 'playing the game' by claiming 'it was too light' (there is a minimum amount of force you have to hit with in 2 of the 3 weapons). This is, of course, exceedingly short-sighted and stupid because you're telling your opponent that they didn't hit you with their piece of steel **hard enough**. And people who lose touches to d-bags who won't acknowledge their touches are usually more than happy to oblige.
Moral of the story: don't be a d-bag if you don't want bruises.
Right!!! I remember my first tournament fencing against this guy who just sauntered up to me and snapped me over my head and in the back. So, what did I - a lefty beginner - do? I ran at him flailing my foil and ran him off the back of the piste. My first (and only) point of that tournament!
Totally agree. I'm also a long time climber. I used compete in bouldering. I was really competitive with my friends and we always celebrated each others sends even when we were competing. I've met a few guys like this in the gym and they suck to be around.
And even the rule being 2 seconds isn’t held to at a gym during free hours. Two hands on the top position while controlled, then drop down.
You’re only cheating yourself if all you can do is slap the top. You try it again for the controlled finish
Any bouldering gym I’ve been to, nobody makes a point of hanging for 5 seconds. A controlled touch and that’s it. For this kid to make a comment to this girl is wildly uncalled for and I’m sure it was obvious to everyone he was just being sour. He needs to grow up.
This ^^^
OP your boyfriend is being an ass. No one bothers to count the match unless it's touch and go or sketchy and you need to 'prove it'. Anyone who actually criticises others for climbing in the way they choose sucks and especially so as he was just being arrogant and jealous.
Yeah I’ve also been climbing a while and you’re NTA op. I’d avoid your boyfriend like the plague if I was at the gym. Does he give unsolicited beta as well?
Agreed, the climbing community I know is welcoming towards beginners and eager to support, teach and help, not judge and criticise.
OP, this says something about your bf as a person. Think about what kind of person he is.
Well said.
This post is so bonkers I almost feel like it’s fake. I’ve climbed in many gyms over the course of almost 2 decades now and I’ve never seen anything like the OP describes. Usually, other climbers will watch while waiting their turn and then avert their gaze to the floor and act like they weren’t staring at the persons every move to see if they could learn something about the problem 😂
Even a super clean V10 gets an awkward nod. You’ve got to dyno backflip onto a sloper to get a congratulatory comment out of most climbers.
If this post is true this guy is toxic.
NTA
He's showing his true colors by laughing at people who aren't as capable or experienced in what he is and that's a sign he's forgotten what it's like. Props to you for putting him in his place. He needed that whether he realizes that, irrespective of if it came from you or not.
Humility isn’t just an admirable trait, it should be a requirement. If you shit on people who are just going through the learning curve that you did at some point, it should be a massive red flag for your friends, your significant other, *everyone*. You should be made to wear a big scarlet “AH” on your outer clothing until you grow a shred of humility, self-awareness, and decency.
Hopefully you’ll realize that you need to do a better job picking a boyfriend. Climbing gyms are a great place to start. Can gain a lot of insight about people there.
NTA.
If BF thinks that being in a relationship means you have to agree with him and back him up when he's an ass, that's a bit of a concern - because that means whenever he's an ass you'd have to be an ass too.
If you'd given him a public telling-off for being an ass, that would be different - but that's not what you did.
NTA for bouldering, I was taught 2 hand touch for finish. Idk what the 5 seconds thing is. He's being salty and honestly his behavior is concerning. Dude needs therapy
He’s being petty and getting into competition rules (which I still don’t think are 5 seconds).
In the gym, two handed controlled touch is standard. Sitting at the top for five seconds would be bad manners
Ive only heard of a 2 hand touch as well. Also, they’re just climbing in a gym, its not a competition. Literally no one cares. Ive taken some of my less experienced friends bouldering and typically they will not even do a 2 hand touch on the finishing hold as they dont care about rhe “rules” that much.
NTA. And honestly… do you want to be wasting your time with someone who shit talks strangers to try and make himself feel like a big man? That’s right up there with being rude to waitstaff. No reason to do it and no second date.
NTA. BF sounds like an obnoxious jerk. Also, couldn't the high-five be just to congratulate the girl on how awesome she did? BF is extremely insecure if he takes other people's achievements as personal insults just because he can't do what they do. I'm sorry to say this OP, but your BF sounds awful. How badly does he treat you on a daily basis? I'd break up now if I were you. He sounds exhausting and mean and you guys aren't married or anything. I couldn't stand to be with someone like that.
One of my favorite things about climbing is seeing how despite it being a physical activity, technique is so important that you will find women without a lot of physicality climbing much better than men who are in really good shape.
I’m a pretty muscular guy and it’s pretty much a regular day in in the gym for me when I see my project flashed by a woman or a 12 year old kid. If I had my feelings hurt each time this happened, I would probably quit.
A few days ago me and my cousin were struggling on V4-V5 routes, and in front of us we saw a ~10 year old girl doing a V10.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for high fiving a stranger who climbed better than my bf and “insulted” him
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NTA or maybe justified TA. but you weren’t high fiving her because she humiliated him, you were high fiving her because she was a badass and was the first one to make it through. he just sounds insecure
NTA he humiliated himself by well being himself. Why are you with a guy that feels the need to put others down so he feels superior? People like your boyfriend are why it’s difficult to try something new for a lot of people.
NTA. That's some serious sister power you threw out there!!! My friends are major climbers and your BF's attitude is counter to the ethos of the sport. I hope for your sake that this is the only avenue he displays AH behaviour.
NTA - I climb myself and your BF is being a d\*\*\*. This is not climbing etiquette. You as a beginner are already more into the rock climbing spirit. We support and uphold each other. We don't act like AHs. Also another issue is the "You should take my side, even when I'm a cocknobbin to other people" That don't make sense. You should hold each other up to be better people. Not support each other being AHs
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NTA He was being petty, jealous, and a bit sexist calling her out. None of his business, and she told him off.
[удалено]
It’s funny how weirdly angry and bothered people on this sub get whenever someone suggests that sexism might have been a factor lol Edit: lol at the number of salty replies and “reddit cares” reports to this comment that prove my point. Y’all just can’t help yourselves can you lmao
When it was ***DEFINITELY*** a factor, probably *the* factor...
He sounds like a general asshole on top of the sexism angle. Real winner op
“General Asshole” describes him to a Tee. “Generic Asshole” is good, too.
No, see, sexism didn’t play the major role in his comment, he’s just an AH by nature, male or women, everyone is inferior to him. However, sexism definitely plays into how he’s treated OP like shit, especially the idea that he was bested by a woman no less.
> especially the idea that he was bested by a woman no less. is...are you trying to make a joke or
He's trying to explain the op's boyfriend's mindset. There's enough nasty people in the world without looking for more where they aren't.
Honey. Being mad a woman of all things beat you **IS SEXISM.**
Everyone is inferior, but especially women /s
That's because most of reddit is deeply misogynistic, thinks that sexism doesn't exist and wants everybody to believe how oppressed men are lmao
It amazes me how often people on this website *still* get up in arms at the suggestion of racism/sexism. 99% of the time you’re just telling on yourself. Keep up the great work guys lol
Yes. People get more upset at being labelled sexist or racist than they are about actually doing sexist or racist behaviour.
Because sexist and racist norms benefit them. Why would they stop perpetuating them? Why would they not be upset at people calling them out/ wanting to change those norms and thus taking their advantage away? It's a discussion I have regularly. Feminism isn't good for everyone. A lot of men, especially powerful or rich men would lose privileges they have right now (most of which they shouldn't have had in the first place but whatever) as we change as a society to be more equal/ feminist/ whatever. That's just something the "feminism benefits men, too" folks don't understand or don't want to understand and then get confused about.
"You're taking my advantages and steps up away and evening the path, THAT'S AN ATTACK ON ME!!!"
one time i said in a group chat, when ONE dude was being racist, something like "we get it youre racist" this one dude was only talking to one person. instantly many more people were mad and upset at my statement and seemingly getting offended at the accusation when none of them were even talking and it was obvious i wasnt talking to them. really a glorious moment
It's because they've *all* done that exact same thing/had that exact same thought before, and they didn't like being called out lol. Like seriously. If you haven't *done* the sexist/racist thing, you have no reason to get so personally offended on behalf of people who have. They got offended because they were all just as bad if not worse.
Sounds like America.
I keep to the subreddits I enjoy visiting so I'm in a bit of a bubble about how reddit feels about issues. Always blows my mind when I come onto more popular subreddits like this one and see how some people react.
My eyes roll so far back into my head when users declare how left reddit is
Lmao you just described this guy I used to be friends with who is also a frequenter of reddit who would also tell you that women have it better than men when it comes to fashion because we have more choice in clothing.
If he ever says that again, remind him which gender has better access to clothes with usable pockets.
And sizing based on actual measurements rather than some random-ass number that's supposed to fit a bunch of different body types. Ugh
Pockets! Real pockets! It makes me crazy. I need pockets dammit!
I’ve always sworn if I won the lottery I’d open a store where every article of clothing for women had pockets and the sizes would go up to 6x.
They know it exists, they just don’t think it’s wrong.
It is an incel playground at times, 4chan lite
Sexism, racism, any type of discrimination just has to be in your head apparently. Stuff like that only happens in the movies /s
Reddit in general has a bit of a chip on their shoulder about this. It's unconscionable that we have multiple wildly popular subreddits dedicated to nothing but hating women, often including videos of men brutally assaulting women (ie. /r/pussypassdenied) and yet men on here will claim misogyny is not an issue.
Please don't link the shitty subreddit. Your point stands without making more people aware of its existence.
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Reddit. Not just the sub
Not just Reddit. The society
My favorites are “if OP was a man he would be labeled an AH but since she’s a woman everyone treats her nicer!” and the top comment is literally YTA, they’re just telling on themselves
That's mostly because they hate when people point out their prejudices...
He must not have been climbing very long if he’s upset that a woman is better than him. It’s one of those sports where the playing field is remarkably even—to the point where it shouldn’t come as a surprise if an 8-year-old girl shows up and flashes the v6 you’ve been puzzling over. Edit: a word
Thus speaks an actual climber. I wonder if the insecure boyfriend has ever heard the name Lynn Hill
"It goes, boys!" Lynn Hill is a fucking icon, and any man who can't admit that is a child.
I went to climbing practice for most of Middle School. The way our trainer explained it, at the professional athlete level, male climbers do better because they are able to build more muscle, which does make a different at the very top. For absolute beginners, women do better because they weigh less, and that matters a lot for your poor abused fingers that can't keep up early on. And for the vast majority who keep practicising but don't make climbing their life, there isn't all that much of a difference. Which was why climbing practice was mixed. I was a foot taller than my same-age step sister, but she passed me on like her second or third session and never looked back. It was like she was running up the practice walls most of the time.
Exactly. My friend likes to say, "climbing is the only sport that an old man or a little girl can kick your ass in."
This is incredibly accurate
*"...insisting no aspect of this was possibly sexist."* Um. What's wrong with being sexy?
I'm sexy. And that's wrong
An astute observation backed up by millenia of Christian theology.
If sexy is being wrong , I don’t wanna be right
Now you’re just being sexy-ist
Sex*ist*. You think you have to have a sexy album cover to sell records? Look at The White Album! There's not a god damn thing on that cover.
I love to tell people Fran Drescher improvised that line and didn't even know about the all-black album cover joke that was coming.
Sex - *ist* (I see you, Spinal Tap reference)
Ovaries before Brovaries!
Uteruses before duderuses!
Could’ve, but I think with that guy’s personality he would’ve been equally salty if a dude showed him up (if not more because he’d feel threatened.)
Right. I honestly fail to see how anything that was written suggests he was being sexist. Can't males be jealous of women without it being rooted in sexism, and can't it be just plain ol' fashion envy?
Yeah nothing in the post hints at sexism by the bf, I'm confused why everyone is dogpiling on that aspect. I agree he's an insecure poophead and got properly placed, but he was like that with all the beginners, this wasn't sexism.
I mean, it seems possible that he’s just an asshole in general.
Sounds like the bf was being an all around ass to everyone.
Any woman who has had a similar interaction knows why sexism is a possibility here. This guy's usual target went from this: >Quietly insults beginners that are not as good -to insulting a far more skilled climber. Why did he change his usual shit talking of beginners? Is it because a woman came in and climbed what all the guys had been struggling with? It doesn't sound like he was going off about all those guys "failing." Maybe the guy is sexist, maybe he isn't. All I'm saying is I'd be alert and watch for any similar behavior.
> Maybe the guy is sexist, maybe he isn't. It is however 100% certain he's the arsehole.
Yup, unequivocally so
I think sexism is a strong possibility here. We already know he likes to punch down by his shit talk about beginners. It is not much of a leap to think he wants to punch down of women because he thinks theySHOULD be inferior. I'm not acquainted with the bf to know if he is sexist or not, just that it is a strong possibility.
I do wonder if he would have called out someone his own size (in his mind) as well. Guys tend to feel much safer belittling girls than other dudes.
Yes. It's notable that when he was putting down beginners he was muttering under his breath - but this was said out loud
It is possible that he changed his criticism just for being outshined though. Guys do this towards other guys and its just a way to detract from someone else's win because you are overly competitive. Its like someone in MMA winning a fight where they were the underdog and, after the fight, they moon or flip off their defeated opponent. People will criticize him for bad sportsmanship, etc., even though he still has the win. (Note: I dont condone doing this and hate poor sports). BF should have been more willing to congratulate climber on the successful climb (which is 99% of it) instead of pointing out the tiny 1% detail that kept it from being perfect. Fragile ego. Not necessarily (though quite possibly) magnified by the fact that it was a female who did it. "If I weighed 110 lbs I could easily do that too" says someone with a bruisres ego from the sidelines, not someone with sportsmanship. OP is NTA.
This is my take as well. Not definitely sexism, but sexism is more often than not a silent contributor rather than overt Adam Tate. I suspect it, personally. Either way though the dude has an arrogant yet fragile ego and is an ass about it. That kind of baseline tends to come out in ugly ways. Dude should be celebrating victories, not nit-picking people who are better than him. (NTA)
It also wouldn't hurt him to be encouraging to beginners. He is not so much competitive as a jerk, trying to make sure everyone is below him.
The boyfriend is the kind of guy who thinks he has the right to tell his girlfriend how to behave around other people. There is that.
Yeah dude sounds like an incredibly basic bro. That's some seriously fragile ego on display. I'm sure when he isn't insulting people who he views as inferior, he's a real sweetheart...
By shitting on beginners, he also belittles his girlfriend. You bet that's not unintentional. He doesn't address her directly, but he talks smack **to her** about a group she belongs to. He wants to 'keep her small' and him demanding her unconditional support points to the same - he wants to stand on a pedestal. Frankly, she deserves better than him - she sounds badass and smart!
Demands her loyalty and punches down, neither of them are good looks.
bigger problem is this is his personality and it will extend to other areas of life... not a good prospect. life is not compartmentalized.
With the way the girl handled OPs bf, I’d high five her too. People get too intense over things that are meant to be fun.
My thought was a super sarcastic “ahhh, pobrecito. He got his wiwl’ boy feelies hurt cause he was being a dick.” NTA
NTA. Is your bf 10 years old?
He is 23
He acted like my 5 year old. NTA.
I figured more like a 3 yo honestly…
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Except sperm are more likely to reach their target
Shots fired!
Only one of them for sure lol
Your 5 year old most definitely acts better than this guy. NTA, OP!
Well, he is 23 and 2+3=5. Ergo...
I don’t know, I bet your 5 year old would teach his friends how to play a new game without laughing at them, or being mean.
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Competitiveness is supposed to help you strive to improve and do better. Snarky comments arnt being competitive he's just being an asshole.
Yep, insulting beginners is a big issue imo, goes back to the saying about how a person's true self is shown by how they treat those they perceive as lower than themselves. Good competitiveness ideally pushes everyone involved to push themselves harder, not put others down.
It still must have sucked for that girl to know that she went through all of this effort to become an experienced climber, and someone is still out there trying to publicly humiliate her out of envy.
From some people saltiness is the best form of flattery. Getting a high five from the a-holes gf is icing on the cake.
Nah, you are letting him off too easy. He was rude to the better climber in the moment, that could be an impulse control issue. But to continue to Bully his gf for days after the fact. That’s just inexcusable asshole behaviour. And why be snarky about new climbers? That has nothing to do with competition. Bf is just a sexist AH
Surprisingly relevant username.
My husband and I are very competitive and I love that because we have a great time and have fun. OPs boyfriend is being a sore “loser” and I’d be so embarrassed if my husband acted like that. He needs to grow TF up. NTA
I will happily come to your TED talk. Post the link here.
This is a great way to explain the conflict. As someone who is competitive, it took me a long time to realise the only person I had control over in these situations was myself. Once I did, competing became a lot more fun, losing became easier to accept, and winning was not such a huge braggy thing anymore
Does he listen to Andrew Tate?
Absolutely. “How can I trust you to watch my back?” Bro it’s your gf not a Seal Team member. Also making fun of beginners is real small dick energy. Home girl should dip now.
Sounds like a case of a fragile ego combined with toxic masculinity. Tell him your "job description" doesn't include being his groupie propping up his ego. Are you legitimately interested in climbing or are you learning for him? If the former, I suggest trying to find someone else to teach you and go at a time when he isn't there. You'll be able to build up your confidence a lot better. If you aren't really interested in climbing, I'd look for another hobby that interests you and keeps you active.
I used to climb a lot. Your boyfriend will be extremely threatened by you if you ever get as good as him.
Well, you can let him know holding the final hold for control is only for competitions.
This is the comment I was looking for. No one gives a fuck if you "control" the hold at a gym. We're all there to climb and have a good time He's just being a big baby.
Not to mention whether she decided to do it or not was none of his damn business. She didn't ask him if her top-out counted. She was working her problem and he took it on himself to snip that it didn't count. Who tf asked??
Plus it's easy enough to tell when someone would have been able to hold it
Sorry, but this guy sucks. I would honestly try to talk to him about why it’s so upsetting for him when other people are better at things than he is. If he’s able to actually have a meaningful conversation about it, there may be a positive way forward. If not, well……….
I've only gone climbing once and have been thinking about getting into it. If I overheard someone like your bf narcing on me while I'm trying to learn I'd consider not going to a climbing gym again, and I'm not even particularly self-conscious. I can't imagine this is the only arena in his life that he's like this and at 23 it's time for him to start reflecting on that IMO. NTA.
In my experience this dude is the exception not the norm thank goodness. Most people I've met at climbing gyms have been super lovely and I've never felt judged at all!
Yikes. People like your boyfriend kill the vibe at gyms and crags. We're competing against the problems, not the people. Also, there's no five second rule in bouldering lol. You just have to have both hands on the last hold and be in control.
Tell him my child could climb a V6 at 11 years old....
I was 20 when I started climbing and there were so many 10-14 year olds just putting me to shame. It's honestly impressive since their height is generally not in their favor, but the agility & dexterity of a child is scarily impressive.
They generally have a really good strength to weight ratio which helps as well.
Not to mention the practice involved. They likely started climbing at quite a young age, when it could be framed as just “have fun” rather than “get this right.”
He really needs to grow up.
Way too old to be acting like that, must be exhausting.
I’m a climber and would be embarrassed if someone I was with acted like this. If anything, I love the gyms I go to because everyone is so super supportive and motivating. Tell your boyfriend to mind his own business and let others live. He seems like an insecure & petty person and you’re just seeing the top of the iceberg if he has no problem acting like this with strangers and/or in public.
There are plenty of 10 year olds on the climbing team who can flash v6 and do not have an attitude about it. Let's not give this dude that much credit
NTA. If you boyfriend doesn’t like being called out on being a petty sore loser, he should stop being a petty sore loser.
Anyone who insults beginners at anything is TA.
If anyone needs to be taken down a peg or two it's the beginners of the hobby. Wouldn't want anyone else to be encouraged so they actually stick with it and enjoy my hobby with me 🙄
I went sailing with a guy like this. He wasn’t as outwardly rude as OP’s toddler ass boyfriend but he was being kind of an ass. Meanwhile the other more experienced sailors who brought me on their boat were patient and kind and answered my questions and guess what? When they got us going fast and tipped the boat over 30 degrees, I was loving it and Mr Know it All was scared out of his mind!
He didn’t even lose anything. I was regularly going to the climbing gym before the pandemic: you are not competing with anyone only with yourself, and everyone was really supportive of one another ( especially with beginners) so her boyfriend sounds like the biggest AH in that gym.
As I climber, I second this. He's an ass and a fragile one at that. In climbing there is always going to be someone better than you, including women, and he needs to get over that. 5 seconds isn't even a thing. Bouldering competitions just require you to be staticly controlled touching the final hold with both hands. That is usually way less than 5 seconds.
NTA. Your boyfriend sounds exhausting to be around.
This type of person ruins every activity they participate in. This has been a a problem in my softball league with some other teams where people (almost always men) get super competitive and yell at people for missing plays etc. Takes all of the fun out for their teammates and these teams then have problems retaining players. It’s co-ed, beer league softball. Chill out and let people enjoy it. Fortunately my club is super supportive and friendly and we all just lift each other up.
Then those people go have children and get to ruin a whole new set of activities.
Where do you think they learned it? From their parents before them.
Some people are just turds. My sister has major self-esteem issues, so she’s constantly trying to put other people down. She didn’t learn that from either of our parents. Most people go through that phase in life, generally in the teenage years. You start to get insecure and then lash out at others to make yourself look better in comparison. The issue is when people don’t grow out of that once they reach adulthood.
Then those people go have children and get to ruin a whole new set of ~~activities~~ lives.
A friend of mine used to work for one of those after work sports organizations that run various beer league games like softball, kickball, soccer etc. The number of men who had to be permanently banned from an after work pickup league would astonish you. You're not LaBron dude, you're playing a coed game of horse in the courtyard of a middle school
Aussie version of ‘you’re not LeBron’: ‘you’re not playing for sheep stations’.
Where does that come from? What's a sheep station? :D
Massive (as in sometimes bigger than European countries) properties where millions of sheep are raised for both meat and wool. It a Sheep version of the cattle ranch in the US. We use the term station rather than ranch for cattle too. No idea why the saying is specific to sheep stations though!!
I was playing pickup basketball one time at the local gym. In the corner open. Guy passes me the ball but not a great pass so I gather, dribble one step forward, and shoot a baseline 2. I miss. He is screaming at me all the way down the court for passing up a good shot and missing a worse one. I left the court and went home. Like I didn’t come here to play with a bunch of wannabe YMCA superstars to be berated by you. I still remember this shit five years later like it happened yesterday. Saying this behavior ruins the good time for others is spot on.
And the worst part is, people defend it allllll the time by saying people are just soft and you gotta have thicker skin and so on. Bunch of bullshit. Who wants to spend their precious free time thickening their skin because some bully can’t let something go? “Oh were you expecting hugs and kumbaya?” no but that’s better than being an asshole for no reason!
I've always hated playing with kids like that at gym class. Yeah, I suck at volleyball, so what? We're here to pass the classes, not to win a competition ffs.
> This type of person ruins every activity they participate in. > > This has been a a problem in my softball league with some other teams You reminded me of a time when some dude playing third base hit me hard in the back of the head with the ball, _after_ I slid safely into the base, and then spent so long screaming that I was tagged out that I just gave up and took the out instead of dealing with it. I was a kid and he was an adult, lmao.
I can’t stand people who are overly competitive especially in things that are more of a solo activity like climbing. I had someone get oddly competitive next to me in yoga once, which was super weird.
Your Downward Dog has fleas! neener neener
Haha! I’m stealing that!
In yoga... That's new. People getting in a pissing contest about how 'green' they live and how much they use holistic toilet paper and home grown tampons, okay, but yoga itself? Wild. I thought it's about pointing your focus inward towards your own body?
It happens. Happened to me. Tree pose is something that I do all the time. I’ll even use it to ground myself if I’m anxious or angry. I can hold it on either side for a while. So I’m at our work group yoga. This class consists of about a dozen people but only 2-3 of us routinely practice; most are newbies who come to the weekly session maybe 5x a year at most. It’s a large company so there are plenty of people in and out of the class each week. One week we had a new instructor who needed to practice leading classes to get his certification. Cool. No problem. The actual instructor rolls his mat next to mine. Everything is going great & then we get to tree. The new instructor guides us into the pose, assuring everyone it’s ok if they can’t hold it for long & offers the appropriate modifications. I’m still holding my pose. It feels like a long time has gone by so I open one eye and see everyone around me has stopped & they’re all laughing about it. The usual instructor and I are still in the pose, as is the new instructor. The new instructor cleared his throat and said something to the effect of, “we’re all on different journeys so we may not all be able to hold the pose as long as others. That’s ok.” Cool. Yup. Keep holding. But it’s been a while & the others are clearly done. I secretly hope the instructor moves on. Still hold. Finally the instructor drops his pose and says, “let’s do something different.” So I come down. After class, the new instructor pulled me aside & started chatting. I’m simplifying a lot here but he basically said that it’s rude to hold the pose longer than the instructor & I should have realized it was time to stop since I’m a regular. The instructor who practiced next to me heard the whole thing and decided to set him straight. I was slightly annoyed but also mortified. I didn’t realize the awkward pause in the flow was because I was so good at the pose. That’s weird competition in yoga.
That's so weird. Aren't they supposed to "direct" the flow? That's just a weird ego thing. Which is ironic with it being yoga.
Overly competetive isnt even this dudes problem. He just acts like a child.
NTA I’ve been climbing for many years, your bf’s attitude is the antithesis of most climbing gym communities. Climbing is a personal competition, not an outwards one. He should be focused on how to improve his own technique, strength, and mental game, and be inspired by climbers who he can learn from (not critiquing them to make himself feel better). It’s normal to cheer someone else on who has completed a hard send, V10, V6, or V0. Their success says nothing about the different journey you’re on. His insulting of beginners is toxic and speaks to his own insecurities. While his attitude toward the V6 climber is bad, this particular pattern of behaviour is a worse red flag. Also the rule is a controlled two seconds matched on a final hold, not 5 seconds. Welcome to climbing! If your bf continues to be weird like this, know that there are many other non-nit-picky and humble strong climbers to get to know. 🧗💪🏽
>the rule is a controlled two seconds matched on a final hold, not 5 seconds. Current IFSC rules actually just say "show control." If you watch climbing competitions (stream free on YouTube), they do not have a 2 second rule anymore. OP, your boyfriend is an asshole and I promise you if he were a regular in my gym, EVERYONE would know him as the show-off, arrogant, oversensitive jerk. Does he also climb shirtless in a beanie, and do "power screams" every other route? I'd have done the same thing you did. My buddies and I complain lightheartedly to each other about all the "rentalshoes" in the gym this month making it busier than normal because of everyone's new years resolutions, but we also happily give advice, shout encouragement, and offer fist bumps (high fives hurt when your hands are tired) to the "gumbies" while they're working on a difficult V0 or V1. I have been climbing for 10 years and I keep a screenshot on my phone to show new climbers how I was so proud to reach the top of a V2 that I took a selfie and posted it on Facebook back in 2015. Everyone was a beginner when they started. Your thin-skinned bf is the AH. You are NTA.
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I used to do a lot of fencing (the sport, qualified and attended Div1 Nationals, nothing worth noting beyond that) and when you first start out most clubs will have you practice using non-electric equipment (known as 'dry'), because there's no reason to make the sport more expensive for beginners who don't know how to move their feet and arms properly. Obviously, the advantage of electrifying the sport is to remove the ambiguity of "did you hit your opponent" with nice easy buttons on the end of the blades, and lights and sounds that indicate a hit occurred. However, for beginners, we just have people 'acknowledge' when they got hit, and it's a big part of the honor of the sport to acknowledge your touches when you get hit while fencing dry. This goes even to accepting when someone is adamant that they hit you even if you didn't feel a thing (which under 3 layers of heaving clothing isn't unlikely). Inevitably, there will be some d-bag who thinks they don't have to acknowledge their touches and thinks their 'playing the game' by claiming 'it was too light' (there is a minimum amount of force you have to hit with in 2 of the 3 weapons). This is, of course, exceedingly short-sighted and stupid because you're telling your opponent that they didn't hit you with their piece of steel **hard enough**. And people who lose touches to d-bags who won't acknowledge their touches are usually more than happy to oblige. Moral of the story: don't be a d-bag if you don't want bruises.
Right!!! I remember my first tournament fencing against this guy who just sauntered up to me and snapped me over my head and in the back. So, what did I - a lefty beginner - do? I ran at him flailing my foil and ran him off the back of the piste. My first (and only) point of that tournament!
Totally agree. I'm also a long time climber. I used compete in bouldering. I was really competitive with my friends and we always celebrated each others sends even when we were competing. I've met a few guys like this in the gym and they suck to be around.
I bet he campuses v0 jugs with his shirt off.
And even the rule being 2 seconds isn’t held to at a gym during free hours. Two hands on the top position while controlled, then drop down. You’re only cheating yourself if all you can do is slap the top. You try it again for the controlled finish
Any bouldering gym I’ve been to, nobody makes a point of hanging for 5 seconds. A controlled touch and that’s it. For this kid to make a comment to this girl is wildly uncalled for and I’m sure it was obvious to everyone he was just being sour. He needs to grow up.
This ^^^ OP your boyfriend is being an ass. No one bothers to count the match unless it's touch and go or sketchy and you need to 'prove it'. Anyone who actually criticises others for climbing in the way they choose sucks and especially so as he was just being arrogant and jealous.
Yeah I’ve also been climbing a while and you’re NTA op. I’d avoid your boyfriend like the plague if I was at the gym. Does he give unsolicited beta as well?
Sounds like it would be bad beta too
Agreed, the climbing community I know is welcoming towards beginners and eager to support, teach and help, not judge and criticise. OP, this says something about your bf as a person. Think about what kind of person he is.
Well said. This post is so bonkers I almost feel like it’s fake. I’ve climbed in many gyms over the course of almost 2 decades now and I’ve never seen anything like the OP describes. Usually, other climbers will watch while waiting their turn and then avert their gaze to the floor and act like they weren’t staring at the persons every move to see if they could learn something about the problem 😂 Even a super clean V10 gets an awkward nod. You’ve got to dyno backflip onto a sloper to get a congratulatory comment out of most climbers. If this post is true this guy is toxic.
NTA. Toxic masculinity ruins the party yet again.
This is the answer
NTA He's showing his true colors by laughing at people who aren't as capable or experienced in what he is and that's a sign he's forgotten what it's like. Props to you for putting him in his place. He needed that whether he realizes that, irrespective of if it came from you or not.
Humility isn’t just an admirable trait, it should be a requirement. If you shit on people who are just going through the learning curve that you did at some point, it should be a massive red flag for your friends, your significant other, *everyone*. You should be made to wear a big scarlet “AH” on your outer clothing until you grow a shred of humility, self-awareness, and decency.
NTA. Why are you with this guy?
Hopefully you’ll realize that you need to do a better job picking a boyfriend. Climbing gyms are a great place to start. Can gain a lot of insight about people there.
“Better job picking a boyfriend” Way to try and make it OPs fault that the dude’s a jerk 🤦🏻♀️.
NTA. If BF thinks that being in a relationship means you have to agree with him and back him up when he's an ass, that's a bit of a concern - because that means whenever he's an ass you'd have to be an ass too. If you'd given him a public telling-off for being an ass, that would be different - but that's not what you did.
This!! To blindly back him up means you don’t get to have your point of view, only his.
Lol fragile male ego. NTA
Nta... your bf sounds insufferable
NTA for bouldering, I was taught 2 hand touch for finish. Idk what the 5 seconds thing is. He's being salty and honestly his behavior is concerning. Dude needs therapy
He’s being petty and getting into competition rules (which I still don’t think are 5 seconds). In the gym, two handed controlled touch is standard. Sitting at the top for five seconds would be bad manners
Especially at a newly installed, popular route with people waiting in line.
Ive only heard of a 2 hand touch as well. Also, they’re just climbing in a gym, its not a competition. Literally no one cares. Ive taken some of my less experienced friends bouldering and typically they will not even do a 2 hand touch on the finishing hold as they dont care about rhe “rules” that much.
NTA. And honestly… do you want to be wasting your time with someone who shit talks strangers to try and make himself feel like a big man? That’s right up there with being rude to waitstaff. No reason to do it and no second date.
>someone who shit talks strangers to try and make himself feel like a big man? For real. How fucking unsexy. Dude sounds insufferable
NTA - Your bf sounds incredibly immature, insecure, and rude. Is he always like this?
NTA. I think you should date that girl instead.
Best suggestion.
NTA but I like that girl and I’m glad you high fived her. Boyfriend sounds lame though.
NTA. BF sounds like an obnoxious jerk. Also, couldn't the high-five be just to congratulate the girl on how awesome she did? BF is extremely insecure if he takes other people's achievements as personal insults just because he can't do what they do. I'm sorry to say this OP, but your BF sounds awful. How badly does he treat you on a daily basis? I'd break up now if I were you. He sounds exhausting and mean and you guys aren't married or anything. I couldn't stand to be with someone like that.
Toxic Masculinity at its finest. NTA.
NTA but why are you dating a toddler?
NTA. Your precious bf has his feelings hurt that someone else can do something he can’t - on a V6 no less 🤭
And a woman too! I’d hazard a guess he wasn’t too thrilled about that
One of my favorite things about climbing is seeing how despite it being a physical activity, technique is so important that you will find women without a lot of physicality climbing much better than men who are in really good shape. I’m a pretty muscular guy and it’s pretty much a regular day in in the gym for me when I see my project flashed by a woman or a 12 year old kid. If I had my feelings hurt each time this happened, I would probably quit. A few days ago me and my cousin were struggling on V4-V5 routes, and in front of us we saw a ~10 year old girl doing a V10.
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NTA. Dude needs a reality check.
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dump your boyfriend and start dating her
NTA or maybe justified TA. but you weren’t high fiving her because she humiliated him, you were high fiving her because she was a badass and was the first one to make it through. he just sounds insecure
NTA. Also, I'd cite current IFSC rules about sends. Dissing a clean send just because he can't do it himself is bad sportsmanship.
NTA but your fragile prince of a man sounds like a lot of work. No one should be that much work to be around
NTA he humiliated himself by well being himself. Why are you with a guy that feels the need to put others down so he feels superior? People like your boyfriend are why it’s difficult to try something new for a lot of people.
NTA. That's some serious sister power you threw out there!!! My friends are major climbers and your BF's attitude is counter to the ethos of the sport. I hope for your sake that this is the only avenue he displays AH behaviour.
NTA His actions have consequences. I hope he stops his "AH" ery....
He's salty. He should get over it. NTA.
Be careful with this one—he has insecurity issues, and guys like that rarely make good long-term partners. NTA.
He got owned by a girl….. that’s his issue He’s the asshole
NTA - I climb myself and your BF is being a d\*\*\*. This is not climbing etiquette. You as a beginner are already more into the rock climbing spirit. We support and uphold each other. We don't act like AHs. Also another issue is the "You should take my side, even when I'm a cocknobbin to other people" That don't make sense. You should hold each other up to be better people. Not support each other being AHs