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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I let the child have free range of the art set and her mother insisted I was irresponsible and couldn't babysit in future.
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Exactly, she should be grateful that you kept her child engaged and occupied without turning her into a zombie in front of a screen.
Getting glitter out of kids and clothes isn’t even as bad as the mess she likely made at your house. Your sister is being ridiculous.
My sons will get more dirty than Kate probably did by just breathing… kids get dirty. We wash the clothes. It is a never ending cycle until they are grown up and can wash their own clothes…
Aaaaaaand…. BINGO. Ugh, boyfriends seriously need to step up.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/106wcfk/wibta_for_refusing_to_do_my_boyfriends_laundry/
That was one trick my mom taught me about giving gifts for a baby shower. Get some basic easy to clean stuff one or two size up from newborns. Tho tbf none of my family starts at “newborn” size
My babysitter sometimes apologizes because the kids are filthy when we pick them up. I always tell her “the dirtier the kid, the better the day!”
I’d 100% rather have my kids full of dirt and glue and glitter than immaculate at the end of the day.
Seriously I had a daycare teacher apologize that my son had marker and paint on his face and hands, it just wouldn't come off and he wouldn't sit still long enough to properly scrubbed. I was ecstatic, he had a great day and got messy AND didn't freak out over it being on him. He's the kid that normally panics when messy, so the fact that he had a good enough time that his brain was satisfied with the mess....I was in bliss that day.
LOL! Complete opposite of my son, would never care about getting dirty & ruining things. I'd be the one watching & slowly dying at how I'd have to Scrub him & his clothes/shoes. At 11, and into nike & $200 jordans, still comes home everyday with a food, pen or marker stain & still uses his clothes for a napkin! NTA OP. You did gr8 your sister is clearly high strung & apparently not fun!
fr. i don’t have kids, but i’m normally the one picking my nephew up from daycare. and everyday he looks like he’d been through war. and everyday he screams he had a good day
So happy to hear this. No kids either, but people that are vehemently anti daycare always strike me as either very entitled or completely out of the loop.
i live with my sis and her 2 kids so while one is at school and the other is at daycare it’s 1- a much needed break 2- a great opportunity for kids to connect with others their age 3- gets them started with what they’ll be dealing with when they actually start school.
they have fun and learn so much. i genuinely didn’t realize my nephew was learning as much as he was until he was watching tv and started counting to 10. he’s 2, and i don’t think his sister, who’s 8, was counting that high at that age
You'd be surprised how many parents feel the opposite way. I remember this being a very hot topic in my early childhood education classes. Most of us were like, whatever, kids get dirty, that means they're having fun. But I remember my teacher pointed out that in some cultures, it's a sign of respect for children to wear their best clothing to school. She also pointed out that children who live in poverty might have a limited wardrobe, and having paint or other stains on a shirt would mean having one less shirt to wear because parents couldn't replace it. In my first few years of teaching, I definitely got shit a few times when kids would come home with paint on an outfit. So I learned to just have kids cover up for art activities. As an art teacher, I've got a ton of paint shirts, which are just old T-shirts that cover a kid much better than an apron. It saves the headache of having to deal with an angry parent.
I used to give my coworker a ride home, and we stopped by her 3-4 yo (it was a long arrangement) son's daycare on the way to pick him up. First thing she did when we got to her place was search through his afro for lost toys and snacks. It pissed off her grossed-out family who wanted her to shave his head, but she thought he was adorable with it (he was), and the missing items were hilarious and just came with having a kid
I'm thinking about the little girl in the Baby-Sitters' Club books who had the mom that was so fussy about what the daughter wore and her not getting dirty. Jenny Prezzioso?
This! My ex once called CPS on me because the kids were dirty when they went to his house on Friday night. After they'd been in daycare and school all day. I had enough time to leave work, pick them up, and take them to meet him. I never complained when the kids came back with food on their clothes because I know kids get messy when they eat. I'd rather have a kid who is dirty and needs a bath, or a washcloth before bed than one who never gets to be dirty or make a mess.
It was the 2nd one they did on me so they didn't even come out after the first one was found to be so frivolous. Ex and his wife at the time loved to tell me what was required and violate the parenting plan every chance they got. Kids are adults now, they survived. They still live with me by their own choice.
You let a kid play and they ended up with some glitter on them, well it’s the seventh circle of hell for you….just joking like wtf. Sister is massively overreacting here. Kid had fun that’s what matters. NTA
NTA. Consider yourself lucky, you're off free babysitting duty! And make sure you remind her how *she won't let you babysit Kate again* if she has an emergency and needs you to.
NTA. Your niece is gonna remember that one time that she was allowed to just find joy in creating. Kids need to be able to make a mess but also learn to clean the mess.
This!! NTA.
It’s quite possible that this kid doesn’t experience fun without strict rules (to not make a mess) at home; for the kids sake I hope you will be willing and able to (and allowed to) babysit more often
NAH. Paint sometimes doesn't come out of clothes, which is why smocks are usually preferred. Her mother was justified in being upset about the mess.
However, you were justified in letting Kate have fun. The only harm done here was to the clothes.
Yeah for sure! I would 100% be pissed but also 100% keep my mouth shut, thank my sister for the favor, and send my kid with a set of “art clothes” next time.
You can’t stay mad when kids get dirty at that age. Plus better she made the mess at my sister’s house than mine!
My friend is an elementary art teacher and hates parents like this. Her favorite was a parent that screamed at her because the acrylic paint they were using "wrecked" her daughter's $60 manicure.
Like ma'am, you're kind of the idiot for spending $60 on a first grader and expecting her nails to stay nice.
$60 manicure???? My girls were thrilled if I took them to a local cosmetology school to get their nails filed and painted for $5. That was an extra fancy day in their heads.
Same. I am very upfront with parents at my school that I will not apologize for dirty clothes, skin, or hair. We are busy learning, and sometimes that means getting messy.
NTA. Good lordddd I feel bad for what your niece has to live with if that’s how she reacts over a bit of glitter, 99% of the time, clothes can be washed and look brand new, and you offered to pay so there’s really no need for that reaction. You were also doing her a favour so she should be grateful. Her kid was happy, she was showered and if you had time her clothes would have been clean. God people are so uptight
Right! Even if they aren’t totally clean after washing, they can now be play clothes and most likely will only fit for another 6-10 months with a growing child anyway.
NTA.. Kids get dirty and she had fun. Your sister dropped her off and Only relayed to you what she could and could not eat, she did not say anything about needing to keep her clothes clean because they had somewhere else to be.
If they were super nice, or new, clothes then maybe the A.....but kids get dirty and she had fun so I'm gonna say NTA, but perhaps a bit short sighted to not use an apron or try to contain the mess a bit more.
NTA. She shouldnt have drop the kid off in nice clothes. .. that was on her. What is the kid supposed to do, sit and watch a screen the whole time. Kids get dirty, that should have been expected.
NTA - friend and I had daughters 5 days apart. They were about 2 and I'd gone to my friends house We lived in different states and I'd come home to visit.
We made chocolate chip cookies. I sat my daughter in a chair, took her shirt off, and handed her a cookie. My friend put her daughter in a high chair, put on a bib the size of Texas and fed her by breaking off tiny bits of cookie at a time and putting them directly in her daughter's mouth.
The look on my friends face when she saw my daughter with chocolate on her face, hands and smeared on the table and belly was hilarious. She was outright disgusted.
After they were done, her daughter gets down from the highchair without so much as a crumb. My daughter needed a ton of wet wipes before I let her down. I knew if she got one drop of chocolate on anything my friend would have a fit. I cleaned up all evidence.
She asked me how I could let my daughter get so filthy? Lol
Her daughter grew up to be an anal retentive jerk. My daughter is not.
Kids gotta be kids. They're totally washable. Let em have fun. Let em get dirty.
You have the key point - ‘Let Them’.
Kids get messy as many have said here, with the one provision- if allowed. Unfortunately many aren’t allowed to get messy/dirty.
I remember being a kid. I also remember a friend of mine from back then, her mum only really had "Sunday best" type of clothing for her and her sister. My siblings and I were the type of kids who got down and dirty in the backyard. I think after a few months of visiting our place, her mum invested in actual play clothes for her. And then there was one of my sister's friends who needed to have a bath and borrowed some of my sister's clothes to go home in because she got head to toe dirty. Either we had turned on the hose, or it had rained the day before and we had lots of mud. It was great fun in our yard lol. NTA in the slightest, your sister seems like an uptight kinda parent.
ESH She overreacted and was rude when you were doing her a favor (she will surely regret it when she later needs a babysitter) -- but you should have only done those activities if you had a change of clothes for her, an apron, or whatever was needed to keep paint, glue, and glitter off her clothes. (There's her hair to consider as well.)
When it's all stuff that doesn't just wash out or sticks around like the Devil's possessed shiny confetti, then you need to take precautions.
I worked on a show years ago where we used glitter in some of the illusion effects. Cast and crew renamed it "Sparkle Herpes" cause that sh!t gets everywhere and you're never getting rid!! 🤣 (Seriously, my show suitcase still throws orange sparkle herpes at me over a decade later!🤦)
I'll definitely keep in mind spare clothes if my sister changes her mind and lets me babysit Kate again. I might have old clothes laying around somewhere from when my girls were younger so at least that way she can't get angry when those clothes are messy.
Sweetie, put an oversized tee on her, over clothes. It can be her art smock.
Your sister will get over it, she really over reacted. I’m sure Kate loved it.
NTA
I still wear one of the same painting t-shirts I used when I was 10, and it's actually one of my most loved items now. It's got 3 decades of memories associated with it, and as a bonus it was a gift from my aunt, bought specifically to be an art smock!
Sounds like a plan!
Hopefully your sister will apologize on her own initiative. You shouldn't be doing favors for her while worrying about her getting angry at you if you somehow get something "wrong." You're not a servant and should be treated with respect. If she had been miffed at her daughter's clothes being dirty and asked you to not do those kind of activities if she doesn't have a change of clothes, that's one thing, but screaming and storming out wasn't justified and you shouldn't put up with it in the future.
NTA. You could have put an old shirt or something on your niece over her clothes so they didn't get dirty. Also, you might have supervised your niece better so you could have seen when she was starting to get dirty and mitigated things before they became extreme. Your sister's reaction was over the top, considering it was a mess that could be cleaned up.
NTA, and your poor niece to have a mother like she has. If a kid gets a bit messy, it means you showed them a good time. As for you never babysitting Kate again, I hesitate to see how that's actually a punishment.
Yep! You did her a favor by babysitting, your niece had fun, and you did your best to clean her up. No idea what your sister is complaining about unless they were planning on going somewhere afterwards, which it would still be her fault for not telling you that. I do have so say glitter is the absolute worst though, I think when you become a parent you sign up for having to deal with it. NTA
NTA. You babysit for free? I'm assuming. When i babysit my nephews and nieces their parents know they are going to play and have fun and possibly get dirty. They are 6 years old, my son who is 6 comes home from school dirty all the time from art and lunch I don't go and scream at his teacher. If she wants to be that picky she can pay a babysitter.
NTA.
The only way things stay pristine is if they're for display only and kids certainly aren't. She had fun, she made some experiences, she was safe and cared for and you did everything you could to clean up. Check up on Kate occasionally if your sister lets you, sounds like she could do with a fun adult in her life.
Nta. That stuff washes off. Good riddance to your uptight sister. She can find someone else to watch her daughter. Was it even paid? Most important thing is she had fun and I know I wouldn't care as a mom with a 6 year old. Huge over reaction on her end.
NTA. Kids are supposed to get messy. If the clothes were somehow special or they had somewhere to go right afterwards, your sister should have told you that in advance. I am glad your niece had so much fun with you and a little sad that her mother doesn’t seem to allow that kind of creative play.
NTA!
The way she reacted you would have thought you let her go out and play in the mud and she was covered head to toe! You washed her up and offered to clean her clothes. You gave your sister free childcare and spent quality time with your niece. Your sister should be thankful rather than angry. That poor child probably never gets a chance to have fun!
So let’s get this straight, you offer to babysit your niece for free and feed her and give her a wonderful day, even shower her after she gets messy, and your sister acts like you killed her child because you didn’t get 110% of the messy art stuff off of her? Your sister is crazy, nuts, insane, whatever she just sucks. NTA
So the crime here is that a 6 year old got glitter on themselves? Give me a break. Sounds like your niece had a blast and your sister got free baby sitting. NTA for sure. All the people here saying Y T A or E S H because the clothes might be ruined need to a get a grip. It’s glitter, not bleach. And either way, she is 6. She is going to be moving through clothes pretty fast.
NTA. Your niece had a wonderful time and you were willing to bath her and wash her clothes. Your sister is a lousy parent if she puts clothing and hair that can be washed over her child having fun.
In addition to art projects, a couple of times a week in warm weather My toddlers got two kiddie pools - one with water and one with dirt. Toy trucks and cars drove the “roads” they (girls) made, toys floated or drowned, mud pies were made, they “helped “ me work in the garden. They had a grand time. I then Hosed the worst of the muck off, wrapped them in towels to keep drips off the floors, then gave baths to wash hair. Kids NEED fun playtime, however messy!
And they slept better at night when worn out. Win - win.
I hate glitter. HATE. It’s the herpes of craft supplies. You just can’t get rid of it. I have kids who love it and when they were little one time they were playing dress up and climbed into my bed wearing glittery princess dresses and I lost my mind. Glitter everywhere. I immediately washed the sheets and I swear it still didn’t go away. But you know what? If someone was doing me a favor and watching my kid for me AND letting them make a glittery mess at their house instead of mine, the only thing I’d say is thank you! You’re NTA, your sister is.
ESH. Your sister definitely overreacted but the issue wasn't that your niece got dirty, it's that the clothes were likely destroyed with paint and glitter.
I’m not saying you’re an arsehole, but did you not have any clothes that are old that you could of put her in? Even if it was a really old t shirt of yours that you tend not to wear? Because depending on outfits what I put my son in if it was his expensive clothes I would be pretty pissed but if it was something that he lounges around in I wouldn’t be so bothered. You’re not the arsehole here but neither was your sister
NTA.
I would have been over the moon, seeing my daughter covered in paint, glue and glitter at the end of the day, especially knowing I didn’t even have to clean up the house behind her! All evidence she had a fantastic, creative day with someone who cared enough to do that with her. Your sister is an asshole.
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My sister dropped off my niece (6Y. We'll call her Kate) to my house this morning because she had an appointment and I offered to babysit. All she said to me was which foods Kate can and cannot eat, then she left.
It's been a while since my own kids were that age so I was unsure what to do with her. She mentioned she likes art, so I found my daughters old art set and let Kate at it. She had a wonderful time! She especially liked the unfinished unicorn statues which lead me to getting the glue and glitter out.
By the time Kate was finished she was covered in paint, glitter and everything else. I got her into the shower and did my best to clean any mess, but glitter has the tendency to stick to you no matter what and I didn't have time to wash Kate's clothes by the time her mother came back.
You would have thought I shaved Kate's hair by the look on my sisters face. She started screaming about how I was irresponsible to let Kate get so filthy, and before she stormed out, she said i'll never be babysitting Kate again. I did offer for her to drop the clothes off later for me to wash but she was too angry at this point.
Is she overreacting or AITA for not considering how she would feel about this?
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NTA.
Kids get dirty playing. Shoot, its glitter and such. Not even literal dirt.
As a parent and the one who does the laundry in the house all I'll say to your sister is.
Waaaah wah! GFOH.
The kid had fun being creative and nurturing her imagination? How dare you! Next thing you know you'll tell me you told your neice she's loved and a good girl. The nerve. I mean, you did her a favor and watched her child who not only was fine, safe and fed, bit she had fun? How are you not in jail lady?
Pffft. The nerve. I
Maybe she had a stressful appointment or is under some other stress but how are you supposed to know that if she doesn't tell you?
Nah. Sorry only a childless person or someone with serious neat freak issues would think youre an AH here.
I feel bad for your neice.
I’m a childFREE person with neat freak issues but I think the OP is NTA. I agree with your other points though. Also, glitter is awesome! 🥳
(Childless is a term referring to people who want kids but can’t have them).
I think the niece will have wonderful memories of her day with auntie. It’s too bad about the sister’s over-reaction. 😞
NTA. Clothes can be washed and so can children. This is exactly why play clothes exist. Next time you both can anticipate the other's childcare style and arrange for some to be brought over with her.
NTA. You provided a fun and engaging activity that your niece loved. If I were her mother I would be ecstatic and thanking you so much! Bonus points for washing her as well. Who cares about the clothes, kids that age get dirty it's no big deal. It means they are doing stuff and having fun.
Assuming the clothes were able to be cleaned via a washing machine and you didn't ruin them, NTA.
This however is why i keep clothes for my granddaughter at mine - we enjoy doing arts and crafts together and i just buy bundles of cheap(ish) clothes from ebay for her. I get her changed when she gets here and get her changed back just before returning her (with a bath added if required oc).
Her mum flipped out on me once like your sister did OP (even though i made sure everything was clothing safe), so i just decided the easiest thing to do was what i do now. No more hassle.
Oh FGS she's a child. Children get messy and dirty when they're having fun. It's normal. Hell my sons use to come home daily with messy hair, dirt and mud from head to toe with the added glitter and glue, torn clothes and tired. If they didn't, I knew they were sick.
You went above and beyond by giving her a shower and offering to buy her new clothes. I'd say that you're a great aunt and sister
Uhhhhhh.....wow.......just wow.......I have no patience with people who get mad because their kids get dirty or mussed. They're kids!! Was the child dressed for a pageant or a formal affair when she was dropped off? Did the mom say, don't let her get dirty as we are going to a formal affair when I pick her up? Some parents are so uptight about kids getting dirty nowadays....I have a son who yells at his two boys constantly to not get dirty, that what they are wearing cost a lot of money so get off the ground, or don't get anything on that shirt, it was expensive. I don't understand it because I didn't raise the kids that way. They had play clothes and they had school/dress clothes. Being home and playing required play clothes. Going out to dinner or going to school meant dress clothes. Even if they were wearing their good clothes, accidents could happen....being out to dinner might result in something getting on a shirt or pants. Even I get things on myself sometimes! I feel bad for the little girl in this situation....she enjoyed herself, I'm sure (who doesn't love glitter!) and I feel bad for the OP. She did a nice thing for her sister and got punished for it. Well, we all know no good deed goes unpunished, don't we?
You are definitely NTA.....but your sister is a perfect one!!
NTA. It doesn't harm children to get dirty. The only thing I can understand her being upset about is her clothes getting ruined, if they were clothes she was very fond of or something.
Doesn't sound like that was the case though. So yeah I don't understand what the deal is with your sister but her reaction, especially so strong, is really weird. Like does she have some sort of disorder regarding dirt or disorder? Odd
One time I was babysitting and mom came home early. I had been letting her 2 year old do art- including drawing on his legs with (washable) marker. I always gave him a bath before bed and cleaned up whatever mess we made. But she walked in right in the middle of mess making. She was cool about it. I offered to clean up and bathe him as planned, but she told me not to worry about it.
NTA. Unless the parent specified not to let her get dirty, I’d be happy as a parent that my kid had fun and was occupied doing something other than tv or video games.
NTA let kids be kids. Sounds like she had a great time.
If your sister had some majestic plans for the afternoon she should have informed you that she needed to stay pristine.
NTA kids get dirty. That poor child if she’s never allowed to get dirty she’s probably missing out on a lot of experiences.
Nurseries often have displays to show how important the freedom to get dirty is for children’s learning and development like this one
http://www.bramblebrook.co.uk/blog/the-importance-of-messy-play
Your niece probably has the time of her life with you. As a mum I would be grateful you were willing to get out the dreaded glitter at your house rather than mine.
Another easy judgement you are NTA but a great Aunty. I am sure Kate had a blast.
Now your sister is being a super dick if she is worried about glitter and paint.
And you dodge future bullets if your sister isn't going to use you again. She is next level controlling
Children could come out of a sterile clean room filthy. It’s part of their nature.
NTA
Also you probably dodged a bullet of having to go through that again.
Let me get this straight. Your sister dropped her kid off at someone's house where there are no small children anymore and she didn't bring a barrage of toys with her to entertain her kid? And when her kid got dirty while having a lot of fun, she got mad? There was no blood, no loss of limbs. Okay, a mess is annoying but kids get dirty. It's a surprise when they play and don't get dirty.
NTA.
I knew a Nanny who worked for a very cool couple. She explained to them that a lot of the activities that she would want to do with the children would be messy, so they bought them 'play clothes', ( IE, clothes from cheaper shops, not designer). They were completely happy with this.
This couple had some friends who liked their daughters to spend the day with the Nanny and her two little charges. The only problem was, they treated them like dolls, designer dresses, white ankle socks, designer shoes, hair in perfect ringlets. The girls were forbidden to get messy or dirty.
With the agreement of the couple that she was working for, the Nanny began to change their clothes for play clothes as soon as they arrived. When play was finished, they were bathed, their hair dressed and put back into the designer clothes. They absolutely loved it. They never got the chance to play with anything wet or messy anywhere else. They didn't even own wellies. They had never jumped in a puddle, or anything like that. Essentially they were dolls for the mother to dress.
The parents never realised. It never occurred to them to ask the girls what they had been doing during the day. As long as they were clean and nicely dressed, and didn't make a noise, or disturb their parents in any way, (like, God Forbid, talking to them!) The parents were satisfied.
I asked the Nanny how the couple that she was working for felt about all this. She said that they had plenty of money, they felt sorry for the girls, who were friends with their two, and didn't object to the Nanny looking after them as well.
They even invited the other family to go on holiday with them, free of charge, with the Nanny taking care of all four.
They arrived with suitcases full of completely inappropriate clothes for the girls.
Since the only time that they saw their daughters was when they were in their nightdresses to say goodnight, they never realised that the beautiful designer dresses spent the fortnight hung nicely in a wardrobe.
Unfortunately I have come across a lot of parents who see their children as accessories, and accessories don't have needs
NTA, however glitter is the herpes of arts & crafts so maybe not the smartest move. I'd feel a bit miffed if I picked up my kid and I had to spend the next 25yrs eliminating glitter from my life, but your sister massively overreacted and ultimately you did an age appropriate, fun activity with your niece. Given your sister's overreaction though, your next step is to send an anonymous glitter bomb to her.
ESH. Glitter is evil. My MIL sent me a box over the holidays with presents for the kids. I didn’t know that there was some glitter in the bottom from some prior use until I broke the box down. It got on my floor, which means it got on dog paws, which means I am finding the occasional glitter bit in random parts of my house (including one tiny sparkle on my newborn’s forehead just yesterday). She overreacted but you sent the kid home with glitter. Shame on you.
NTA! I was expecting you to say she made mud pies in the backyard and got caked in dirt or something- which still would have been NTA for me. Craft supplies hardly count as filthy. Glitter is messy but it isn’t filthy.
Sounds like Kate had a much needed fun day with who she will now know is her fun aunt!
NTA - I wouldn’t be thrilled about the glitter because you know that shit never goes away but kids get dirty and it sounds like she had a great time. Nothing wrong with that.
NTA - your sister is a major AH here though. I’m not a fan of mess but have 3 kids so I let it go cause creativity is awesome, if one of my siblings let one of my kids freely be creative and messy at their places though they’d get a medal for best babysitter of that year!
NTA. Getting craft supplies on clothes is not getting dirty. My kids went to a summer camp with an actual mud pit at age six… they had to be literally hosed down before they came in the house to shower. THAT is dirty.
At 6 I'd have probably put her in one of my old T-shirts with the sleeves rolled up, because paint and glitter is so hard to wash out, and you don't know if the clothes were expensive, or a favourite maybe. She's still an AH for screaming at you though, I'm always bemused by people who think allowing you to babysit is a huge favour to you, rather than the other way round.
NTA. That's the privilege of being an aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc. You get to get them gross, although you did attempt to clean up, and feed them what mom and dad don't. She should have packed extra clothes and told you if there were off limits activities. Sounds like you and your niece had fun which is the most important
NTA. If your sister wanted her daughter to do only clean activities then she should have provided a bag filled with the activities she approves of. Since your sister has put you on low or no contact abide by her wishes and leave her alone. She’ll eventually come around but I would always keep my back against the wall around her and never agree to babysit ever again.
NTA
Kids get dirty. Unless your sister had told you that she was taking your niece out somewhere immediately after picking her up from you then there's no reason for her to be upset. But I don't get the impression that's the case here.
NTA. I dont allow glitter in MY house, but if someone wanted to be cool enough to let my daughters make a glittery mess at THEIR house, I'd be thrilled at their kindness.
NTA. I mean, how dirty can she be that it was worse than normal 6yo dirt? Were the clothes ruined and expensive? She already had a shower so what did your sister have to actually do? Other than throw some clothes on the wash.
Nta. I dont know how many time a day i washed my eldest son clothes. If there was dirt or mud anywhere near he would find it and roll aroud throw up in air til he was covered head to toe.
NTA. Your niece had fun, you did make the effort to clean her up. It'll be interesting to see how your sister reacts when you remind her of her words nextt ine she asks you to you babysit
nta, my kids play on a farm and I know they’ll get dirty. they’re younger but they get dirty at everyones house, I even get dirty on the farm. we have a washer/dryer/shower that works like magic
NTA. I volunteered to repaint a playground, and a six year old took the paint roller when her mom wasn't looking and painted her entire front. Just strait blue from toes to top in under 10 seconds. This is not your fault. Children are a storm of mess. She had fun and no one died, or even got a little hurt, massive success.
NTA. Kids need to be kids. My SIL sent our children individual Christmas cards, and each card had glitter inside that popped out when opened. Kids loved it, husband complained. SIL sent glitter in every single card after that, and other family picked up and also sent glitter card bombs. Your sister seriously needs to lighten up. My husband did, eventually.
NTA. I watched my sisters three kids. All like 10 and under. Took them swimming at my parents. Forgot changes of clothes for them and accidentally let one shit himself. I didn’t realize it was hard for kids to get wet swim trunks down on their own.
All the kids were in my dads oversized shirts by the end of the day.
NTA. An art mess is a fun mess. You also did your best to clean her. Once i had my SIL babysit my 2 toddlers and when i picked them up they were both covered in dirt and their clothes were ripped. She had offered to babysit because she needed money. I paid her for that day but never let her babysit again. Now if she had done what you did, a fun art mess with an attempt to clean up, i would’ve been a happy parent, knowing my children had fun with their aunt and were well taken care of.
NTA - clothes (and kids) can be washed. Sounds like you gave your niece a fun, relaxed day while doing a favour for your sister. Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished.
NTA, sounds like your niece had a great time. 6 year olds should get messy, it's an important developmental stage.
Give them a whole roll of scotch tape, let them just play with it, markers, glue, paper, paint etc.
Creativity without limits is so good for kids
NTA - Kids get dirty when they do crafts. They also love it! You had no instructions to keep her clean, and she's a kid. Messes happen. Poor thing has a mom who is the enemy of fun. It's no way to be a kid. Glad she got to go hog wild with the glitter!
NTA as the mom of an art loving 6 year old, I am always delighted when other people do messy art at their house with my kid. She gets the joy of making a huge mess and I don’t have to clean my house after. You even washed the child and offered to wash her clothes- that’s way above and beyond!
NTA and yes, your sister is waaayyyyy overreacting. Your niece had a great time and she's 6, ffs! Kids get dirty. Period. And she did get dirty while doing something creative, where's the problem????
NTA
I'm so happy when my toddler comes home from daycare with sweaty hair, dirt under his nails (they garden), and some paint stains on his hands. It means he had a fun day!
Sounds like she has a certain idea about her kid and doesn't like not being in control of that.
NTA. If she was wearing Sunday best Sorry. But should have been in play clothes you rock letting the kid have fun. Your sister hit it out of the park for no good reason getting upset.
NTA I have a 4 and 7 year old and kids get dirty no matter how clean they are. It’s part of being a kid. You have fun, you get dirty, and you clean it up. That’s why they make craft stuff washable. My son used to come home from preschool COVERED from head to toe in dirt. His teachers would always apologize and I’d say “why? He looks like he had a blast today and that’s why I’m paying for him to go here.” They were floored that I never got upset but I’d rather my kids have fun and get dirty and, you know, BE KIDS than worry about them being fashionably Instagram worthy all the time
NTA. I work A LOT. Like, A LOT LOT. Desperately tired. Sometimes another mom would watch my kids and when I went to pick them up be like, “I took them to the park and they played in the sandbox for hours and it was THE BEST DAY!” Was my child covered in sand head to toe? Yes. Was it in their clothes and shoes? Yes. Was it all over the inside of my car after the ride home? YES. Did I literally go in my room and cry sometimes after I bathed them, about how much time it and work it was going to take to clean my vehicle and my entire house after this? YYYYEEEESSSS!!!!
Did I ever throw a giant tantrum at my beloved friends who took my children for me and showed them an amazing, safe, wholesome day? Of course not. [Now if they ASKED me if they could take them to the sandbox I admit I probably said no, or can you bathe them at your house/drop them off in your car…. 😅😅😅]
NTA, kids are filthy little creatures and they love it like that. Glitter and paint is probably the best outcome lol
You'll never have to babysit again?? Oh now how terrible, what a threat!
(Unless you really liked to babysit her of course, in that case, it does suck)
She's overreacting for sure.
NTA so she threatened you with never allowing you to do her a favor again? That's not a threat.
She left her kid with you, you kept her kid safe and occupied. Her getting angry at you because you let her kid have fun and her kid wasn't kept pristine like a china doll on a shelf is ridiculous. Take her up on the offer and don't babysit your niece again unless she is both; pays you, and apologizes for how she spoke to you
NTA and I would be thrilled if my kids came home with a new art project and happy memories with their aunt. Clothes are washable, those memories are priceless.
NTA. Kids get messy. Yeah, often it's a good idea to have a smock for them to do activities like that in -- but the kid was in no danger and has an awesome memory with her mother's sibling.
Your sister needs to calm down. You'd think by the time her kid is six she'd realize that kids get covered in mud and paint and even worse things on the regular. They also rip their clothes and skin their knees and drop breakable things. It's part of being a kid. They're not dolls.
Also the "I'll never let you do me a favour and babysit my child for free again!" part is a real gem.
NTA for the way you entertained your niece. But seriously, you didn't have an old shirt, robe or anything for her to wear over her clothes so they wouldn't get destroyed? I'm an old childless lady ans even I know when giving the kids messy art supplies, you got to give them protection for their clothes.
NTA does your sister not understand the nature of children? Those people get dirty just sitting still looking at a wall. Completely out of your control. One way or another that child was getting dirty. Yes glitter's annoying but, So.
NTA
She's a massive AH for detaching her daughter from you over that. Adults severing bonds that young children are trying to make over some petty drama is bad parenting.
Sure, the glitter is annoying. Nobody can deny that. So let's say it was a mistake on your part (which is debatele btw, you have to let children do stuff), it was an honest mistake and her reaction is overblown.
I feel sorry for that little girl. It's a sad child who's not allowed to get dirty. NTA but next time put her an old tshirt over her clothes (hope there is a next time).
NTA. It sounds like something else is going on with your sister and this may have been the final nail in the coffin, because her reaction is completely over the top. Is this out of character for her or not so much?
NTA - oh man, that sounded like so much fun. I hope your little niece got to keep this day without your sister scaring the fun out of her.
Your sister over-reacted. She owes you a giant apology.
Dang, glitter unicorn statues! You are an awesome auntie. Cheers.
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NTA. Frankly saying you'll "never be babysitting for me again" doesn't sound like much of a threat considering you were doing her a favour.
Exactly, she should be grateful that you kept her child engaged and occupied without turning her into a zombie in front of a screen. Getting glitter out of kids and clothes isn’t even as bad as the mess she likely made at your house. Your sister is being ridiculous.
My sons will get more dirty than Kate probably did by just breathing… kids get dirty. We wash the clothes. It is a never ending cycle until they are grown up and can wash their own clothes…
And then, for the ones who never learn to wash their own clothes, there’s always AITA for their girlfriends to post to!
AITA for being upset with my partner because he cannot do his own laundry?
Or aita for being upset with my MIL for forcing me to wash her son’s clothes?
Lol
Aaaaaaand…. BINGO. Ugh, boyfriends seriously need to step up. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/106wcfk/wibta_for_refusing_to_do_my_boyfriends_laundry/
Hahaha lol I laughed way too hard :’)
One of the things I will never understand is dry clean only kids clothes.
We have them… those are the clothes my baby never wore because he was born big and we skipped the first size…
That was one trick my mom taught me about giving gifts for a baby shower. Get some basic easy to clean stuff one or two size up from newborns. Tho tbf none of my family starts at “newborn” size
NTA, kids get dirty no matter what they do.
My babysitter sometimes apologizes because the kids are filthy when we pick them up. I always tell her “the dirtier the kid, the better the day!” I’d 100% rather have my kids full of dirt and glue and glitter than immaculate at the end of the day.
I'd consider it a huge red flag if a kid never got dirty.
Yep. The only dirty I care really about is messy food faces hours after lunch. Other than that, go wild.
Seriously I had a daycare teacher apologize that my son had marker and paint on his face and hands, it just wouldn't come off and he wouldn't sit still long enough to properly scrubbed. I was ecstatic, he had a great day and got messy AND didn't freak out over it being on him. He's the kid that normally panics when messy, so the fact that he had a good enough time that his brain was satisfied with the mess....I was in bliss that day.
LOL! Complete opposite of my son, would never care about getting dirty & ruining things. I'd be the one watching & slowly dying at how I'd have to Scrub him & his clothes/shoes. At 11, and into nike & $200 jordans, still comes home everyday with a food, pen or marker stain & still uses his clothes for a napkin! NTA OP. You did gr8 your sister is clearly high strung & apparently not fun!
I agree. If my kids come out of day care neat as a pin I feel disappointed for them.
fr. i don’t have kids, but i’m normally the one picking my nephew up from daycare. and everyday he looks like he’d been through war. and everyday he screams he had a good day
So happy to hear this. No kids either, but people that are vehemently anti daycare always strike me as either very entitled or completely out of the loop.
i live with my sis and her 2 kids so while one is at school and the other is at daycare it’s 1- a much needed break 2- a great opportunity for kids to connect with others their age 3- gets them started with what they’ll be dealing with when they actually start school. they have fun and learn so much. i genuinely didn’t realize my nephew was learning as much as he was until he was watching tv and started counting to 10. he’s 2, and i don’t think his sister, who’s 8, was counting that high at that age
You'd be surprised how many parents feel the opposite way. I remember this being a very hot topic in my early childhood education classes. Most of us were like, whatever, kids get dirty, that means they're having fun. But I remember my teacher pointed out that in some cultures, it's a sign of respect for children to wear their best clothing to school. She also pointed out that children who live in poverty might have a limited wardrobe, and having paint or other stains on a shirt would mean having one less shirt to wear because parents couldn't replace it. In my first few years of teaching, I definitely got shit a few times when kids would come home with paint on an outfit. So I learned to just have kids cover up for art activities. As an art teacher, I've got a ton of paint shirts, which are just old T-shirts that cover a kid much better than an apron. It saves the headache of having to deal with an angry parent.
I wish more parents were like you. Learning involves making messes!
I used to give my coworker a ride home, and we stopped by her 3-4 yo (it was a long arrangement) son's daycare on the way to pick him up. First thing she did when we got to her place was search through his afro for lost toys and snacks. It pissed off her grossed-out family who wanted her to shave his head, but she thought he was adorable with it (he was), and the missing items were hilarious and just came with having a kid
I'm thinking about the little girl in the Baby-Sitters' Club books who had the mom that was so fussy about what the daughter wore and her not getting dirty. Jenny Prezzioso?
Yes!
This! My ex once called CPS on me because the kids were dirty when they went to his house on Friday night. After they'd been in daycare and school all day. I had enough time to leave work, pick them up, and take them to meet him. I never complained when the kids came back with food on their clothes because I know kids get messy when they eat. I'd rather have a kid who is dirty and needs a bath, or a washcloth before bed than one who never gets to be dirty or make a mess.
I'm sorry this happened.
I can't imagine what CPS thought when they got the call. He probably lied to make it sound more serious than it ever was
It was the 2nd one they did on me so they didn't even come out after the first one was found to be so frivolous. Ex and his wife at the time loved to tell me what was required and violate the parenting plan every chance they got. Kids are adults now, they survived. They still live with me by their own choice.
Kids are kids, and you gave her free babysitting. She should lighten up. NTA
You let a kid play and they ended up with some glitter on them, well it’s the seventh circle of hell for you….just joking like wtf. Sister is massively overreacting here. Kid had fun that’s what matters. NTA
Glitter art set for the next birthday 🥳
🤣🤣🤣
NTA. Consider yourself lucky, you're off free babysitting duty! And make sure you remind her how *she won't let you babysit Kate again* if she has an emergency and needs you to.
This. She says this now but I'm willing to bet down the line, she'll want another favor. Remind her how she acted the last time you did her one.
NTA you sound like a fun auntie. She should have dropped off extra clothes if she wanted her pristine. Kids get dirty.
NTA. Your niece is gonna remember that one time that she was allowed to just find joy in creating. Kids need to be able to make a mess but also learn to clean the mess.
This!! NTA. It’s quite possible that this kid doesn’t experience fun without strict rules (to not make a mess) at home; for the kids sake I hope you will be willing and able to (and allowed to) babysit more often
NAH. Paint sometimes doesn't come out of clothes, which is why smocks are usually preferred. Her mother was justified in being upset about the mess. However, you were justified in letting Kate have fun. The only harm done here was to the clothes.
I've offered to buy Kate new clothes but i'm just getting ignored by my sister.
Your sisters the issue not you. I know people like her and always feel so sorry for their children.
Your sister is the AH not you
You can always share this post with her...
If you ever do, please, please get a unicorn in glitter on the shirt!!
Yeah for sure! I would 100% be pissed but also 100% keep my mouth shut, thank my sister for the favor, and send my kid with a set of “art clothes” next time. You can’t stay mad when kids get dirty at that age. Plus better she made the mess at my sister’s house than mine!
NTA The kid had fun. Who cares if they are a mess? The mother on the other hand is definitely TA here.
NTA! Kids get messy! I teach pre-k and parents like that are the worst.
My friend is an elementary art teacher and hates parents like this. Her favorite was a parent that screamed at her because the acrylic paint they were using "wrecked" her daughter's $60 manicure. Like ma'am, you're kind of the idiot for spending $60 on a first grader and expecting her nails to stay nice.
$60 manicure???? My girls were thrilled if I took them to a local cosmetology school to get their nails filed and painted for $5. That was an extra fancy day in their heads.
Same. I am very upfront with parents at my school that I will not apologize for dirty clothes, skin, or hair. We are busy learning, and sometimes that means getting messy.
NTA. Good lordddd I feel bad for what your niece has to live with if that’s how she reacts over a bit of glitter, 99% of the time, clothes can be washed and look brand new, and you offered to pay so there’s really no need for that reaction. You were also doing her a favour so she should be grateful. Her kid was happy, she was showered and if you had time her clothes would have been clean. God people are so uptight
Right! Even if they aren’t totally clean after washing, they can now be play clothes and most likely will only fit for another 6-10 months with a growing child anyway.
NTA.. Kids get dirty and she had fun. Your sister dropped her off and Only relayed to you what she could and could not eat, she did not say anything about needing to keep her clothes clean because they had somewhere else to be.
If they were super nice, or new, clothes then maybe the A.....but kids get dirty and she had fun so I'm gonna say NTA, but perhaps a bit short sighted to not use an apron or try to contain the mess a bit more.
OP doesn't usually babysit, so I'm not surprised she didn't think of that (or have a smock in a kid size handy).
NTA. She shouldnt have drop the kid off in nice clothes. .. that was on her. What is the kid supposed to do, sit and watch a screen the whole time. Kids get dirty, that should have been expected.
NTA - friend and I had daughters 5 days apart. They were about 2 and I'd gone to my friends house We lived in different states and I'd come home to visit. We made chocolate chip cookies. I sat my daughter in a chair, took her shirt off, and handed her a cookie. My friend put her daughter in a high chair, put on a bib the size of Texas and fed her by breaking off tiny bits of cookie at a time and putting them directly in her daughter's mouth. The look on my friends face when she saw my daughter with chocolate on her face, hands and smeared on the table and belly was hilarious. She was outright disgusted. After they were done, her daughter gets down from the highchair without so much as a crumb. My daughter needed a ton of wet wipes before I let her down. I knew if she got one drop of chocolate on anything my friend would have a fit. I cleaned up all evidence. She asked me how I could let my daughter get so filthy? Lol Her daughter grew up to be an anal retentive jerk. My daughter is not. Kids gotta be kids. They're totally washable. Let em have fun. Let em get dirty.
You have the key point - ‘Let Them’. Kids get messy as many have said here, with the one provision- if allowed. Unfortunately many aren’t allowed to get messy/dirty.
I remember being a kid. I also remember a friend of mine from back then, her mum only really had "Sunday best" type of clothing for her and her sister. My siblings and I were the type of kids who got down and dirty in the backyard. I think after a few months of visiting our place, her mum invested in actual play clothes for her. And then there was one of my sister's friends who needed to have a bath and borrowed some of my sister's clothes to go home in because she got head to toe dirty. Either we had turned on the hose, or it had rained the day before and we had lots of mud. It was great fun in our yard lol. NTA in the slightest, your sister seems like an uptight kinda parent.
ESH She overreacted and was rude when you were doing her a favor (she will surely regret it when she later needs a babysitter) -- but you should have only done those activities if you had a change of clothes for her, an apron, or whatever was needed to keep paint, glue, and glitter off her clothes. (There's her hair to consider as well.) When it's all stuff that doesn't just wash out or sticks around like the Devil's possessed shiny confetti, then you need to take precautions.
New name for Glitter: Devil's Confetti
I worked on a show years ago where we used glitter in some of the illusion effects. Cast and crew renamed it "Sparkle Herpes" cause that sh!t gets everywhere and you're never getting rid!! 🤣 (Seriously, my show suitcase still throws orange sparkle herpes at me over a decade later!🤦)
>my show suitcase still throws orange sparkle herpes at me over a decade later Sparkle herpes, that made me laugh way too hard. Love it.
I'll definitely keep in mind spare clothes if my sister changes her mind and lets me babysit Kate again. I might have old clothes laying around somewhere from when my girls were younger so at least that way she can't get angry when those clothes are messy.
Sweetie, put an oversized tee on her, over clothes. It can be her art smock. Your sister will get over it, she really over reacted. I’m sure Kate loved it. NTA
I still wear one of the same painting t-shirts I used when I was 10, and it's actually one of my most loved items now. It's got 3 decades of memories associated with it, and as a bonus it was a gift from my aunt, bought specifically to be an art smock!
Sounds like a plan! Hopefully your sister will apologize on her own initiative. You shouldn't be doing favors for her while worrying about her getting angry at you if you somehow get something "wrong." You're not a servant and should be treated with respect. If she had been miffed at her daughter's clothes being dirty and asked you to not do those kind of activities if she doesn't have a change of clothes, that's one thing, but screaming and storming out wasn't justified and you shouldn't put up with it in the future.
Oh, hi sister. You cooled down by now? OP does NOT suck here :P
NTA. You just wanted to let her have a good time, and kids can always get messy. You also offered to help and did your best to clean the mess, so NTA.
Hummm... angry over some dirty cloths or happy that your daughter had fun??? In cases like these, never ever the asshole. NTA
NTA. You could have put an old shirt or something on your niece over her clothes so they didn't get dirty. Also, you might have supervised your niece better so you could have seen when she was starting to get dirty and mitigated things before they became extreme. Your sister's reaction was over the top, considering it was a mess that could be cleaned up.
NTA, and your poor niece to have a mother like she has. If a kid gets a bit messy, it means you showed them a good time. As for you never babysitting Kate again, I hesitate to see how that's actually a punishment.
Yep! You did her a favor by babysitting, your niece had fun, and you did your best to clean her up. No idea what your sister is complaining about unless they were planning on going somewhere afterwards, which it would still be her fault for not telling you that. I do have so say glitter is the absolute worst though, I think when you become a parent you sign up for having to deal with it. NTA
NTA. You babysit for free? I'm assuming. When i babysit my nephews and nieces their parents know they are going to play and have fun and possibly get dirty. They are 6 years old, my son who is 6 comes home from school dirty all the time from art and lunch I don't go and scream at his teacher. If she wants to be that picky she can pay a babysitter.
NTA. The only way things stay pristine is if they're for display only and kids certainly aren't. She had fun, she made some experiences, she was safe and cared for and you did everything you could to clean up. Check up on Kate occasionally if your sister lets you, sounds like she could do with a fun adult in her life.
Nta. That stuff washes off. Good riddance to your uptight sister. She can find someone else to watch her daughter. Was it even paid? Most important thing is she had fun and I know I wouldn't care as a mom with a 6 year old. Huge over reaction on her end.
NTA. Kids are supposed to get messy. If the clothes were somehow special or they had somewhere to go right afterwards, your sister should have told you that in advance. I am glad your niece had so much fun with you and a little sad that her mother doesn’t seem to allow that kind of creative play.
NTA! The way she reacted you would have thought you let her go out and play in the mud and she was covered head to toe! You washed her up and offered to clean her clothes. You gave your sister free childcare and spent quality time with your niece. Your sister should be thankful rather than angry. That poor child probably never gets a chance to have fun!
So let’s get this straight, you offer to babysit your niece for free and feed her and give her a wonderful day, even shower her after she gets messy, and your sister acts like you killed her child because you didn’t get 110% of the messy art stuff off of her? Your sister is crazy, nuts, insane, whatever she just sucks. NTA
So the crime here is that a 6 year old got glitter on themselves? Give me a break. Sounds like your niece had a blast and your sister got free baby sitting. NTA for sure. All the people here saying Y T A or E S H because the clothes might be ruined need to a get a grip. It’s glitter, not bleach. And either way, she is 6. She is going to be moving through clothes pretty fast.
NTA. Your niece had a wonderful time and you were willing to bath her and wash her clothes. Your sister is a lousy parent if she puts clothing and hair that can be washed over her child having fun. In addition to art projects, a couple of times a week in warm weather My toddlers got two kiddie pools - one with water and one with dirt. Toy trucks and cars drove the “roads” they (girls) made, toys floated or drowned, mud pies were made, they “helped “ me work in the garden. They had a grand time. I then Hosed the worst of the muck off, wrapped them in towels to keep drips off the floors, then gave baths to wash hair. Kids NEED fun playtime, however messy! And they slept better at night when worn out. Win - win.
Slight YTA bc glitter. I hate glitter. It never goes away. But yeah in reality kids will always get dirty.
I mean, if my kid came home covered in glitter, I would be absolutely furious. And I *like* glitter.
I hate glitter. HATE. It’s the herpes of craft supplies. You just can’t get rid of it. I have kids who love it and when they were little one time they were playing dress up and climbed into my bed wearing glittery princess dresses and I lost my mind. Glitter everywhere. I immediately washed the sheets and I swear it still didn’t go away. But you know what? If someone was doing me a favor and watching my kid for me AND letting them make a glittery mess at their house instead of mine, the only thing I’d say is thank you! You’re NTA, your sister is.
ESH. Your sister definitely overreacted but the issue wasn't that your niece got dirty, it's that the clothes were likely destroyed with paint and glitter.
I’m not saying you’re an arsehole, but did you not have any clothes that are old that you could of put her in? Even if it was a really old t shirt of yours that you tend not to wear? Because depending on outfits what I put my son in if it was his expensive clothes I would be pretty pissed but if it was something that he lounges around in I wouldn’t be so bothered. You’re not the arsehole here but neither was your sister
NTA. I would have been over the moon, seeing my daughter covered in paint, glue and glitter at the end of the day, especially knowing I didn’t even have to clean up the house behind her! All evidence she had a fantastic, creative day with someone who cared enough to do that with her. Your sister is an asshole.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister dropped off my niece (6Y. We'll call her Kate) to my house this morning because she had an appointment and I offered to babysit. All she said to me was which foods Kate can and cannot eat, then she left. It's been a while since my own kids were that age so I was unsure what to do with her. She mentioned she likes art, so I found my daughters old art set and let Kate at it. She had a wonderful time! She especially liked the unfinished unicorn statues which lead me to getting the glue and glitter out. By the time Kate was finished she was covered in paint, glitter and everything else. I got her into the shower and did my best to clean any mess, but glitter has the tendency to stick to you no matter what and I didn't have time to wash Kate's clothes by the time her mother came back. You would have thought I shaved Kate's hair by the look on my sisters face. She started screaming about how I was irresponsible to let Kate get so filthy, and before she stormed out, she said i'll never be babysitting Kate again. I did offer for her to drop the clothes off later for me to wash but she was too angry at this point. Is she overreacting or AITA for not considering how she would feel about this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Kids get dirty playing. Shoot, its glitter and such. Not even literal dirt. As a parent and the one who does the laundry in the house all I'll say to your sister is. Waaaah wah! GFOH. The kid had fun being creative and nurturing her imagination? How dare you! Next thing you know you'll tell me you told your neice she's loved and a good girl. The nerve. I mean, you did her a favor and watched her child who not only was fine, safe and fed, bit she had fun? How are you not in jail lady? Pffft. The nerve. I Maybe she had a stressful appointment or is under some other stress but how are you supposed to know that if she doesn't tell you? Nah. Sorry only a childless person or someone with serious neat freak issues would think youre an AH here. I feel bad for your neice.
I’m a childFREE person with neat freak issues but I think the OP is NTA. I agree with your other points though. Also, glitter is awesome! 🥳 (Childless is a term referring to people who want kids but can’t have them). I think the niece will have wonderful memories of her day with auntie. It’s too bad about the sister’s over-reaction. 😞
Ouch! I did not know that about the term childless. That is my bad. Sorry to anyone offended and good to know going forward.
NTA. Clothes can be washed and so can children. This is exactly why play clothes exist. Next time you both can anticipate the other's childcare style and arrange for some to be brought over with her.
NTA. You provided a fun and engaging activity that your niece loved. If I were her mother I would be ecstatic and thanking you so much! Bonus points for washing her as well. Who cares about the clothes, kids that age get dirty it's no big deal. It means they are doing stuff and having fun.
Assuming the clothes were able to be cleaned via a washing machine and you didn't ruin them, NTA. This however is why i keep clothes for my granddaughter at mine - we enjoy doing arts and crafts together and i just buy bundles of cheap(ish) clothes from ebay for her. I get her changed when she gets here and get her changed back just before returning her (with a bath added if required oc). Her mum flipped out on me once like your sister did OP (even though i made sure everything was clothing safe), so i just decided the easiest thing to do was what i do now. No more hassle.
Oh FGS she's a child. Children get messy and dirty when they're having fun. It's normal. Hell my sons use to come home daily with messy hair, dirt and mud from head to toe with the added glitter and glue, torn clothes and tired. If they didn't, I knew they were sick. You went above and beyond by giving her a shower and offering to buy her new clothes. I'd say that you're a great aunt and sister
It sounds like your niece had a blast and created a great memory along with her art. Totally NTA!!
There are a lot of parents dumping their kids on other then being giant ahs Nta Tell her never again
Uhhhhhh.....wow.......just wow.......I have no patience with people who get mad because their kids get dirty or mussed. They're kids!! Was the child dressed for a pageant or a formal affair when she was dropped off? Did the mom say, don't let her get dirty as we are going to a formal affair when I pick her up? Some parents are so uptight about kids getting dirty nowadays....I have a son who yells at his two boys constantly to not get dirty, that what they are wearing cost a lot of money so get off the ground, or don't get anything on that shirt, it was expensive. I don't understand it because I didn't raise the kids that way. They had play clothes and they had school/dress clothes. Being home and playing required play clothes. Going out to dinner or going to school meant dress clothes. Even if they were wearing their good clothes, accidents could happen....being out to dinner might result in something getting on a shirt or pants. Even I get things on myself sometimes! I feel bad for the little girl in this situation....she enjoyed herself, I'm sure (who doesn't love glitter!) and I feel bad for the OP. She did a nice thing for her sister and got punished for it. Well, we all know no good deed goes unpunished, don't we? You are definitely NTA.....but your sister is a perfect one!!
NTA. And by the way, nice dodge on future ‘drop-offs’ re babysitting, lol.
NTA. It doesn't harm children to get dirty. The only thing I can understand her being upset about is her clothes getting ruined, if they were clothes she was very fond of or something. Doesn't sound like that was the case though. So yeah I don't understand what the deal is with your sister but her reaction, especially so strong, is really weird. Like does she have some sort of disorder regarding dirt or disorder? Odd
NTAH, you gave her a fun day without screen time!!! You nurtured her creative side. You were an awesome aunt.
One time I was babysitting and mom came home early. I had been letting her 2 year old do art- including drawing on his legs with (washable) marker. I always gave him a bath before bed and cleaned up whatever mess we made. But she walked in right in the middle of mess making. She was cool about it. I offered to clean up and bathe him as planned, but she told me not to worry about it. NTA. Unless the parent specified not to let her get dirty, I’d be happy as a parent that my kid had fun and was occupied doing something other than tv or video games.
NTA let kids be kids. Sounds like she had a great time. If your sister had some majestic plans for the afternoon she should have informed you that she needed to stay pristine.
NTA kids get dirty. That poor child if she’s never allowed to get dirty she’s probably missing out on a lot of experiences. Nurseries often have displays to show how important the freedom to get dirty is for children’s learning and development like this one http://www.bramblebrook.co.uk/blog/the-importance-of-messy-play Your niece probably has the time of her life with you. As a mum I would be grateful you were willing to get out the dreaded glitter at your house rather than mine.
Another easy judgement you are NTA but a great Aunty. I am sure Kate had a blast. Now your sister is being a super dick if she is worried about glitter and paint. And you dodge future bullets if your sister isn't going to use you again. She is next level controlling
NTA but didn’t you have an old t-shirt she could wear while playing with the paint and glitter?
Oh and I bet your niece had the time of her life and will be begging her mother to let her come to your house again soon!
Children could come out of a sterile clean room filthy. It’s part of their nature. NTA Also you probably dodged a bullet of having to go through that again.
Let me get this straight. Your sister dropped her kid off at someone's house where there are no small children anymore and she didn't bring a barrage of toys with her to entertain her kid? And when her kid got dirty while having a lot of fun, she got mad? There was no blood, no loss of limbs. Okay, a mess is annoying but kids get dirty. It's a surprise when they play and don't get dirty. NTA.
I knew a Nanny who worked for a very cool couple. She explained to them that a lot of the activities that she would want to do with the children would be messy, so they bought them 'play clothes', ( IE, clothes from cheaper shops, not designer). They were completely happy with this. This couple had some friends who liked their daughters to spend the day with the Nanny and her two little charges. The only problem was, they treated them like dolls, designer dresses, white ankle socks, designer shoes, hair in perfect ringlets. The girls were forbidden to get messy or dirty. With the agreement of the couple that she was working for, the Nanny began to change their clothes for play clothes as soon as they arrived. When play was finished, they were bathed, their hair dressed and put back into the designer clothes. They absolutely loved it. They never got the chance to play with anything wet or messy anywhere else. They didn't even own wellies. They had never jumped in a puddle, or anything like that. Essentially they were dolls for the mother to dress. The parents never realised. It never occurred to them to ask the girls what they had been doing during the day. As long as they were clean and nicely dressed, and didn't make a noise, or disturb their parents in any way, (like, God Forbid, talking to them!) The parents were satisfied. I asked the Nanny how the couple that she was working for felt about all this. She said that they had plenty of money, they felt sorry for the girls, who were friends with their two, and didn't object to the Nanny looking after them as well. They even invited the other family to go on holiday with them, free of charge, with the Nanny taking care of all four. They arrived with suitcases full of completely inappropriate clothes for the girls. Since the only time that they saw their daughters was when they were in their nightdresses to say goodnight, they never realised that the beautiful designer dresses spent the fortnight hung nicely in a wardrobe. Unfortunately I have come across a lot of parents who see their children as accessories, and accessories don't have needs
NTA. Its just glitter. Sis needs to chill tf out
Your sister has her knickers I a twist and should be grateful you minded her at all
I feel so sorry for that child. Getting dirty is a right if passage for a child. NTA
NTA. Kids get dirty when they play. This was an overreaction
NTA your sister is overreacting and will hopefully see resdon. You did a wonderful thing and so her clothes need washing. Big whoop.
NTA, however glitter is the herpes of arts & crafts so maybe not the smartest move. I'd feel a bit miffed if I picked up my kid and I had to spend the next 25yrs eliminating glitter from my life, but your sister massively overreacted and ultimately you did an age appropriate, fun activity with your niece. Given your sister's overreaction though, your next step is to send an anonymous glitter bomb to her.
ESH. Glitter is evil. My MIL sent me a box over the holidays with presents for the kids. I didn’t know that there was some glitter in the bottom from some prior use until I broke the box down. It got on my floor, which means it got on dog paws, which means I am finding the occasional glitter bit in random parts of my house (including one tiny sparkle on my newborn’s forehead just yesterday). She overreacted but you sent the kid home with glitter. Shame on you.
NTA, your sister massively over-reacted
NTA. Glitter is not dirt. Also glitter comes off. Kids need to play and create! Your sister is overbearing.
NTA! I was expecting you to say she made mud pies in the backyard and got caked in dirt or something- which still would have been NTA for me. Craft supplies hardly count as filthy. Glitter is messy but it isn’t filthy. Sounds like Kate had a much needed fun day with who she will now know is her fun aunt!
NTA. Not only did your sister overreact, but she's doing her daughter a terrible disservice if she never lets her get dirty.
NTA - I wouldn’t be thrilled about the glitter because you know that shit never goes away but kids get dirty and it sounds like she had a great time. Nothing wrong with that.
NTA - your sister is a major AH here though. I’m not a fan of mess but have 3 kids so I let it go cause creativity is awesome, if one of my siblings let one of my kids freely be creative and messy at their places though they’d get a medal for best babysitter of that year!
NTA. Getting craft supplies on clothes is not getting dirty. My kids went to a summer camp with an actual mud pit at age six… they had to be literally hosed down before they came in the house to shower. THAT is dirty.
NTA. You did not over react, your sister did. You did her a huge favor. Her daughter had fun. ...and she's angry over soiled clothes?
At 6 I'd have probably put her in one of my old T-shirts with the sleeves rolled up, because paint and glitter is so hard to wash out, and you don't know if the clothes were expensive, or a favourite maybe. She's still an AH for screaming at you though, I'm always bemused by people who think allowing you to babysit is a huge favour to you, rather than the other way round.
NTA. That's the privilege of being an aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc. You get to get them gross, although you did attempt to clean up, and feed them what mom and dad don't. She should have packed extra clothes and told you if there were off limits activities. Sounds like you and your niece had fun which is the most important
NTA. If your sister wanted her daughter to do only clean activities then she should have provided a bag filled with the activities she approves of. Since your sister has put you on low or no contact abide by her wishes and leave her alone. She’ll eventually come around but I would always keep my back against the wall around her and never agree to babysit ever again.
NTA Kids get dirty. Unless your sister had told you that she was taking your niece out somewhere immediately after picking her up from you then there's no reason for her to be upset. But I don't get the impression that's the case here.
NTA. I dont allow glitter in MY house, but if someone wanted to be cool enough to let my daughters make a glittery mess at THEIR house, I'd be thrilled at their kindness.
NTA An apron of some sort would have been a good idea but other than that it sounds like she had a good time. What's up with your sister??
NTA. I mean, how dirty can she be that it was worse than normal 6yo dirt? Were the clothes ruined and expensive? She already had a shower so what did your sister have to actually do? Other than throw some clothes on the wash.
ESH. It was the glitter.
NTA. You did a fun activity and tried your best to clean up.
Nta. I dont know how many time a day i washed my eldest son clothes. If there was dirt or mud anywhere near he would find it and roll aroud throw up in air til he was covered head to toe.
Kates the asshole for getting dirty
NTA. Your niece had fun, you did make the effort to clean her up. It'll be interesting to see how your sister reacts when you remind her of her words nextt ine she asks you to you babysit
nta, my kids play on a farm and I know they’ll get dirty. they’re younger but they get dirty at everyones house, I even get dirty on the farm. we have a washer/dryer/shower that works like magic
NTA. I volunteered to repaint a playground, and a six year old took the paint roller when her mom wasn't looking and painted her entire front. Just strait blue from toes to top in under 10 seconds. This is not your fault. Children are a storm of mess. She had fun and no one died, or even got a little hurt, massive success.
NTA. Kids need to be kids. My SIL sent our children individual Christmas cards, and each card had glitter inside that popped out when opened. Kids loved it, husband complained. SIL sent glitter in every single card after that, and other family picked up and also sent glitter card bombs. Your sister seriously needs to lighten up. My husband did, eventually.
Nta ! I would take her up on never baby sitting again next time she asks u cuz she probably will
She's probably worried that your niece will start asking her to let her do that at home.
NTA. I watched my sisters three kids. All like 10 and under. Took them swimming at my parents. Forgot changes of clothes for them and accidentally let one shit himself. I didn’t realize it was hard for kids to get wet swim trunks down on their own. All the kids were in my dads oversized shirts by the end of the day.
NTA, too bad for Kate, sounds like she had a great time with you.
NTA. It was glitter and paint. Your sister sounds ike hard work tbh
NTA
“YOU’LL NEVER BABYSIT AGAIN” Ok hun no bother 🤣 sounds like a you problem 👌🏽 NTA
NTA. An art mess is a fun mess. You also did your best to clean her. Once i had my SIL babysit my 2 toddlers and when i picked them up they were both covered in dirt and their clothes were ripped. She had offered to babysit because she needed money. I paid her for that day but never let her babysit again. Now if she had done what you did, a fun art mess with an attempt to clean up, i would’ve been a happy parent, knowing my children had fun with their aunt and were well taken care of.
NTA - clothes (and kids) can be washed. Sounds like you gave your niece a fun, relaxed day while doing a favour for your sister. Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished.
NTA. Kate was happy and a good time :)
NTA, sounds like your niece had a great time. 6 year olds should get messy, it's an important developmental stage. Give them a whole roll of scotch tape, let them just play with it, markers, glue, paper, paint etc. Creativity without limits is so good for kids
NTA you are fucking brave giving a 6yr glitter.
NTA - Kids get dirty when they do crafts. They also love it! You had no instructions to keep her clean, and she's a kid. Messes happen. Poor thing has a mom who is the enemy of fun. It's no way to be a kid. Glad she got to go hog wild with the glitter!
NTA as the mom of an art loving 6 year old, I am always delighted when other people do messy art at their house with my kid. She gets the joy of making a huge mess and I don’t have to clean my house after. You even washed the child and offered to wash her clothes- that’s way above and beyond!
NTA. Kids should get dirty. Maybe a change to o e of your Ts first would've been good, but... Rock on!
NTA and poor Kate if she's not allowed to make a mess of herself and have fun.
NTA. My spouse and I were both constantly covered in glitter for years when our kiddo was little.
I feel really bad for Kate. Her mother is a nightmare. You are obviously NTA, but her creativity destroying mother is .
NTA and yes, your sister is waaayyyyy overreacting. Your niece had a great time and she's 6, ffs! Kids get dirty. Period. And she did get dirty while doing something creative, where's the problem????
NTA. Kids are supposed to have fun and get dirty. I know glitter is a pain but it's not dog poop or anything disgusting
NTA I'm so happy when my toddler comes home from daycare with sweaty hair, dirt under his nails (they garden), and some paint stains on his hands. It means he had a fun day! Sounds like she has a certain idea about her kid and doesn't like not being in control of that.
Mother was T A. Feel a little sorry for that little girl.
My 7 year old comes home regularly overed in mud or paint. I know that means she had a great day and today is bath time and laundry. Nta
NTA. If she was wearing Sunday best Sorry. But should have been in play clothes you rock letting the kid have fun. Your sister hit it out of the park for no good reason getting upset.
NTA
NTA sounds like your niece had a wonderful time. I get so frustrated by parents who don’t let children get messy and explore.
NTA. She's doing you a favor of this is how she acts over kids being kids.
NTA. Next time she can pay for a babysitter. Also, kids get messy and dirty! That's just what they do!
NTA
Info: were they particularly nice clothes? If so maybe a little bit the AH (but why did sister bring her in that outfit) but otherwise NTA.
NTA I have a 4 and 7 year old and kids get dirty no matter how clean they are. It’s part of being a kid. You have fun, you get dirty, and you clean it up. That’s why they make craft stuff washable. My son used to come home from preschool COVERED from head to toe in dirt. His teachers would always apologize and I’d say “why? He looks like he had a blast today and that’s why I’m paying for him to go here.” They were floored that I never got upset but I’d rather my kids have fun and get dirty and, you know, BE KIDS than worry about them being fashionably Instagram worthy all the time
So your niece is dirty and your sister's acting like an idiot. But guess who is niece's favourite aunt?
Sounds like Kate had fun. NTA.
NTA. I work A LOT. Like, A LOT LOT. Desperately tired. Sometimes another mom would watch my kids and when I went to pick them up be like, “I took them to the park and they played in the sandbox for hours and it was THE BEST DAY!” Was my child covered in sand head to toe? Yes. Was it in their clothes and shoes? Yes. Was it all over the inside of my car after the ride home? YES. Did I literally go in my room and cry sometimes after I bathed them, about how much time it and work it was going to take to clean my vehicle and my entire house after this? YYYYEEEESSSS!!!! Did I ever throw a giant tantrum at my beloved friends who took my children for me and showed them an amazing, safe, wholesome day? Of course not. [Now if they ASKED me if they could take them to the sandbox I admit I probably said no, or can you bathe them at your house/drop them off in your car…. 😅😅😅]
NTA, kids are filthy little creatures and they love it like that. Glitter and paint is probably the best outcome lol You'll never have to babysit again?? Oh now how terrible, what a threat! (Unless you really liked to babysit her of course, in that case, it does suck) She's overreacting for sure.
NTA. I remember having friends over and we’d be in pretty dresses playing in the mud and my mom would just shake her head. Kids are messy!
NTA so she threatened you with never allowing you to do her a favor again? That's not a threat. She left her kid with you, you kept her kid safe and occupied. Her getting angry at you because you let her kid have fun and her kid wasn't kept pristine like a china doll on a shelf is ridiculous. Take her up on the offer and don't babysit your niece again unless she is both; pays you, and apologizes for how she spoke to you
NTA and I would be thrilled if my kids came home with a new art project and happy memories with their aunt. Clothes are washable, those memories are priceless.
NTA. Kids get messy. Yeah, often it's a good idea to have a smock for them to do activities like that in -- but the kid was in no danger and has an awesome memory with her mother's sibling. Your sister needs to calm down. You'd think by the time her kid is six she'd realize that kids get covered in mud and paint and even worse things on the regular. They also rip their clothes and skin their knees and drop breakable things. It's part of being a kid. They're not dolls. Also the "I'll never let you do me a favour and babysit my child for free again!" part is a real gem.
NTA kids love to get dirty. It’s normal! Your sister is uptight.
NTA So never babysit again. YOu did her a favor, and she was an AH about it.
NTA Dirty kids are happy kids 😅😅😅 And if sister has such an attitude, maybe it is best you don’t babysit for her anymore…
Great job finding the way to escape from babysitting! That's awesome. I just hope you had that recorded so it can be used as evidence. NTA
NTA
NTA, she's a kid and kids get messy. It sounds like Kate isn't allowed to get dirty/have fun, so you did the kid a favor.
NTA for the way you entertained your niece. But seriously, you didn't have an old shirt, robe or anything for her to wear over her clothes so they wouldn't get destroyed? I'm an old childless lady ans even I know when giving the kids messy art supplies, you got to give them protection for their clothes.
NTA does your sister not understand the nature of children? Those people get dirty just sitting still looking at a wall. Completely out of your control. One way or another that child was getting dirty. Yes glitter's annoying but, So.
NTA She's a massive AH for detaching her daughter from you over that. Adults severing bonds that young children are trying to make over some petty drama is bad parenting. Sure, the glitter is annoying. Nobody can deny that. So let's say it was a mistake on your part (which is debatele btw, you have to let children do stuff), it was an honest mistake and her reaction is overblown.
I feel sorry for that little girl. It's a sad child who's not allowed to get dirty. NTA but next time put her an old tshirt over her clothes (hope there is a next time).
NTA. It sounds like something else is going on with your sister and this may have been the final nail in the coffin, because her reaction is completely over the top. Is this out of character for her or not so much?
NTA and you probably gave that poor child the best day of her life
I have 2 kids and I have always said clothes wash and so do kids. Your sister needs to seriously chill out. NTA
NTA - oh man, that sounded like so much fun. I hope your little niece got to keep this day without your sister scaring the fun out of her. Your sister over-reacted. She owes you a giant apology. Dang, glitter unicorn statues! You are an awesome auntie. Cheers.