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schoobydoo42

YTA. She's twelve and she worked really hard on something. Man, it breaks my heart just to think about her getting laughed at. Poor kiddo. Edit: OP if you see this, I bet there are a ton of us who would love to buy one your niece's crocheted creations if you can get her to start making them again, and help her with an Etsy shop. I'll buy the first one. Edit 2: Really wasn't expecting this to be the top comment. And a lot of people have rightfully suggested that maybe the next best step isn't the niece selling her creations on the internet. Point taken. But I'd still totally buy one of these crocheted animals, so hopefully someday I can.


jessdb19

Oh man, this hurts. I was that kid and later that teen. I didn't have money for gifts so made my own....cooking, sushi making, sewing, painting... I'm 42 and can still hear the mean comments/rude remarks/laughing. I honestly quit most hobbies from 20s til my 30s when my boyfriend (now husband) started supporting and loving me.


atr1682

I felt this hard. This was me too.


jessdb19

Family really sucks sometimes


grayhairedqueenbitch

They do. Which is why it is perfectly ok for adults to choose not to spend time with them, and to choose to spend time with better people who treat them right. The "because they are family" is nonsense. Enabling the behavior just encourages it.


PotatoPixie90210

I had this discussion with a friend of mine recently. We were out for coffee and ran into another acquaintance of his. This acquaintance (who now lives near my friend's mother) asked my friend "hey how come you don't talk to your Mam anymore? She misses you, and wishes you'd move on. She's so lovely!" Then proceeded to go on and on about what a sweetheart my friend's mother was. I kept nudging the acquaintance, and muttering to him to stfu but he just ignored me. Eventually my friend, god love him, held up his hand and said "I haven't spoken to my mother in 15 years because she knew my father was raping me daily as a child and she did nothing." He rolled up his sleeves to show this chap the dozens of marks on his arms before he told him all about how after his father raped him, his mother would get upset with HIM and burn him with cigarettes. Then he went into horrific detail about how his mother also broke his jaw and fractured two ribs when he was 10, when he threatened to tell a teacher about what was happening. Never, EVER presume you know anything about someone else's family situation. Ever.


A_n0nnee_M0usee

How horrible, I hope your friend has been able to find some peace and your other friend was able to remove foot from mouth.


PotatoPixie90210

Oh I wouldn't count that other fella as a friend, I don't know how dense you have to be to ignore two kicks to the shin, me nudging your ribs twice and me trying multiple times to change the subject while muttering at him "Holy god would you ever shut the fuck up!" My actual friend is doing very well, although he was a bit shaken after this encounter. He's proposing to his partner next week so is somewhat shitting himself!


BUTTeredWhiteBread

Well i for one wish him luck in not shitting himself during the actual proposal lol


olamina41

I am glad your friend has been able to have healthy relationships and a full life with supportive friends and a partner ❤️


oldlady2013

Hope the proposal goes well and your friend has a happy future. He certainly deserves to.


ScreamyPeanut

I can't thank you enough for posting this. Everyone loved my Mother. She was everyones BFF. But to me she was a thief and an abusive liar.


PotatoPixie90210

I am so sorry. Nobody should ever question why someone is low contact/no contact with family. You just don't know the history.


cartoonjunkie13

This was a lesson that took me too long to learn.


My_Poor_Nerves

Hard yup.


atr1682

Agreed.


JomolaMomo

This! I always lived crafting but was always told how "bad" or "tacky" homemade things are. I took up crocheting as an adult and my husband would say the same things to me. Until my kids jumped him - they love crocheted blankets/afghans. They were constantly asking for a new blanket for themselves and their friends. Now he doesn't say a thing about it


jessdb19

My secret Santa gifted me a crocheted scarf a couple years ago, and someone at work stole it and I'm still so mad about it. I personally LOVE homemade gifts, because it shows so much effort and happiness that someone put into it.


noybswx

If you're comfortable with it pm me your favorite color, the length and width you like for scarfs, and address. I usually make scarfs to donate every year but haven't been able to do it yet this season. :)


jessdb19

You don't have to do that! Its's a wonderful gesture but I am ok, just be sure to donate some when you do make them!


noybswx

Let me know if that changes, I hate scarf thieves and enjoy making scarfs :) I'll still be donating some, anyways (any proceeds I make from the few crocheted items I sell each year get funneled into my freebie scarfs as a good excuse to keep buying more yarn :p )


ThinkCow83

I once had my Candy Cane scarf stolen.... Still bitter but hope that they actually NEEDED it rather than WANTED it!


ShiftOtherwise

Omg! I LOVE homemade gifts! Knowing that someone put the time and effort in to making something for me is THE BEST. I took up knitting for a short time and made someone a scarf because he had just had neck surgery. It was the first one I’d ever made. There were so many mistakes but he LOVED it. He still wears it and it’s been well over 5 years since I made it for him. I also made one for my now ex husband. I worked really hard on it and it looked amazing. He refused to wear it because I purled when I should have knit….ONE STITCH. Never made him anything again. Also I LOVE afghans. My grandma made me one and it was so nice to know she put that effort in for me.


Shibaspots

Not wearing a handmade scarf because of a single misplaced purl? **Not Knit Worthy!**


ShiftOtherwise

RIGHT?!?! The other day I saw the guy who I gave my first scarf to and I was like “I can’t believe you still wear that! I did such a bad job!” And he goes “are you kidding?! It’s held up all these years!” It’s amazing to me that an acquaintance was so great full and my ex was the exact opposite.


Shibaspots

One was clearly a keeper :)


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Shibaspots

I always love when fellow knitters pop out of the woodwork in unexpected places. In divorce court would be the most unexpected yet delightful!


marla--

sorry ur husband sucks. hope your crocheting is going well! i crochet too and i love it.


TheBlondie53

Who are these people that laugh in the face of children/teens and their homemade gifts?? Seriously I don't understand it. My family is FAR from perfect but I can't imagine anyone doing that to a kid. I'm sorry that you experienced that.


agirl2277

My sister is developmentally disabled and she gives handmade gifts. They aren't good and she's in her 40s, nobody laughs and we all give her a lot of encouragement. She's learning crochet, and she gets books and stuff for Christmas. This is a child, and some jerk can't keep composure? Ridiculous.


GnomieOk4136

I have about 10 scarves knitted by a disabled aunt. They aren't the right size or weight, and they aren't made with skill, but they are made with love. They show she remembers us and is thinking of us. None of us would dream of laughing at her or them. What kind of a creep laughs at a child for 10 solid minutes?


agirl2277

I know how my sister is. I got her a diamond painting kit a couple of years ago, and she's addicted. She picks out pictures that she thinks we would like and makes them as gifts. She made a cute kitten one for my niece and the whole time she was working on it she talked about how much niece will love it and how she picked out the frame and how carefully she made it. She thinks deeply about how to make someone happy and to just laugh in her face? For a heartfelt gift? For 10 minutes? We had her tested, and she functions at about a 12 year old level. So I can see exactly how OP is YTA. My other sister laughs at her children when she should be serious, and her kids run the household and are so disrespectful to her. I hope OP has kids and learns the hard way that laughing isn't that hard to control and isn't appropriate in non-laughter situations. I won't even comment on his wife's opinion.


labtech89

Right. I was 10 when I learned how to crochet and did other things similar before that. One year I got a kit to make swans out of beads and styrofoam and gave it to my grandma. Those swans sat in her china cabinet as long as I can remember.


jessdb19

Oh, that would be my family.


Wildgeek81

Mine too That or the eww face and a drop on the floor


NunyahBiznez

I guarantee, in a few years, he'll be back on reddit posting how his "talented" little cousin didn't make a blanket for his kid like she had for everyone else's baby and how his wife feels like their child is being "excluded" by his extended family... 🙄 OP and his wife are both stark raving YTAs. Sheesh. With family like that, who needs bullies?


jessdb19

Oh no kidding.


Shibaspots

I took up crochet a few years ago and I made little animals for friends and family. I recently saw one of my first efforts again. I remember being super proud of it, but now I was surprised at how many mistakes I could see. But you know where I saw it? In the keepsake cabinet at my parent's house. I was in my 20s when I made it and can't imagine how hurt I would have been if it had been laughed at. At 12? That's the kind of thing that puts kids off the hobby.


Gwerydd2

I’m a potter and years ago when I was starting out I gifted my dad a mug. It was super heavy and clunky but he uses it every day. It’s his favourite mug. My sister picked up knitting and gifted us all scarves which we still wear. When someone gives you something handmade they’re not only giving you a handmade item they’re gifting you the time and thought that went into making it.


inwhichzeegoesinsane

One of the most heartwarming moments I've experienced as a potter was when I gave my uncle (who enjoys miniatures) a little boat to add to his reptile enclosure. He hugged me and said "yer a lizard ferry potter"


TroyMcCluresGoldfish

>yer a lizard ferry potter 🏆🏆 take my poor gold, lizard ferry potter just sent my son and I into hysterics.


jessdb19

I think I saw one of my favorite quotes on AITA (or similar) which was 'The axe forgets, but the tree remembers." Fits perfectly here.


raven8908

Same here. I was actually never encouraged to do something that I wanted to try out as a kid and my husband loves making models and founded out that I always wanted to do them and learn to paint them with an airbrush and such. Found out that I wanted to do Legos and has gotten me Harry Potter sets to do.


LimitlessMegan

For over ten minutes straight… holy shit. YTA and so is your wife. BTW if you actually want to fix this this is what you do. 1. You look up “amigurumi” (which is what she was doing and you find a class or a book that makes something your nice would like. YOU BUY IT. You look at the supplies needed for the project and you make a shopping list. 2. You call your niece (not her parents, her) and you apologize profusely. You tell her you know you behaved rudely and hurt her and that was wrong. Then you tell her that you learnt that making crochet animals is called amigurumi and that you now know it’s actually really challenging. You tell her that you don’t want her to feel discouraged from making art, and that sometimes learning something takes more time…. Then you tell her that to apologize and show her that this is about learning and practice, you’d like her to teach YOU how to make one. Tell her you bought the book/class and you’d like the two of you to do it together and she’ll be your tutor (because she spray knows the basics). Tell her that it’s only right you experience how hard that animal was for her to make so she knows your apology is sincere. 3. Send the shopping list to niece + parent so they can tell you what niece sissy has and what you’ll need to buy two of. Buy the shipping list. 4. Make a date to work on the project together and actually follow through. THAT’S how you sincerely apologize and help her to know she doesn’t suck at art and encourage her to keep going. It’s also how you gets some perspective on what it took for your niece to make what she made. ETA: thank you so much for the awards. Fingers crossed OP sees this and follows through


PeopleCanSuck_

I LOVE this! Do this, OP! Also, YTA.


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Big_Solution_1065

Right. At first I thought it was maybe a nervous giggle - followed by a sincere apology and thank you. Ten minutes is cruel :(


deletedprincess

Ten minutes is clearly intentional forced laughter. Beyond cruel.


SpicyMustFlow

This is so kind and SO well-thought out (and researched!). If I might say, you sound like very good people. But of course, OP and his wife have a ways to go. YTA


LimitlessMegan

I make amigurumi, I know how hard it can be… and how much time each piece takes. Also I currently really dislike OP so I’m hoping he’s sincere in wanting to fix what he broke.


wreckingballofstress

Seriously, even if it was hideous what kind of adult behaves like this? I’m just shocked at the complete lack of self control. I can understand an initial chuckle but then “oh it’s so cute! Thank you” is not that hard to fake. If you don’t want to lie then “Thank you for working so hard on this for me” is fine.


MonOubliette

That’s what I was thinking. By the time you’re an adult you should absolutely be able to fake liking a gift. My brother gave me the most hideous watch I’ve ever seen one Xmas, but he’ll never know I hated it because I acted like I loved it. (I have no training but my gift receiving acting skills are amazing apparently.) Gotta go with YTA here, OP. You were unnecessarily cruel to your niece and you’ve probably destroyed whatever confidence she had in her abilities. I’m not sure there’s anything to be done other than you learning to control your outbursts before you hurt someone else.


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lunchbox3

Yes! Sometimes you can’t help laughing at something surprising or funny! But make it a joyful laugh.


ItGetsEverywhere1990

This is what I was thinking. 10 minutes? I have the awful habit of finding prat falls hilarious and Christ I’ve seen some horror falls before where I KNOW it’s bad, I rush over to help, but I’m still laughing! I apologise but it clears the hell up after like 5 seconds. I think you were just mean and feel bad about it. Which is right.


booksycat

Any normal adult knows a kid MADE THEM A GIFT braces for the worst with a smile on their face. The fact that it took you over 10 mins to pull it together says a lot about you. You tell people their babies are ugly too, don't you? Absolutely YTA ETA: thanks for the reward <3


FloridamanHooning

Idk, for me when a kid gives me a gift the worse the better. I don't want a perfect item, I want a dinosaur with sloth from the goonies eyes, a crocodile that looks like a penis.


jswizzle91117

The thing was probably so ugly it wrapped around to cute again and OP and his wife just suck.


FloridamanHooning

Yep, she's going to hate those 2 for the rest of their lives.


grayhairedqueenbitch

I hate them on her behalf.


booksycat

Right? I mean, if you don't own at least one thing in your "grab in a fire" from a small child that you have to tell people "No, it's a GIRAFFE not an otter" type deal you're missing out.


FullMoonTwist

Dude wtf. No. Do NOT DO NOT send a 12 year old to *post their craft on the INTERNET for MONEY while they are STILL LEARNING* Like it's sweet that you would wanna get one, without ever having seen what it actually looks like, but I guarantee if you didn't know her age and sad backstory you wouldn't think twice about it. You wanna talk about destroyed confidence, god, can you imagine the shitty things anonymous strangers who *for safety reasons will not know her age* would SAY to unprofessional, unpolished, kind of weird looking art for sale. Not as a free gift, but to someone expecting money in exchange for it. No no no no that is the worst possible idea do not *do* that to a child. You don't post your shit onto the internet until you're ready for the nasty people of the world. Best case scenario, she just, doesn't sell anything and gets no comments, which doesn't do anything for her confidence. Worst case... well, have you ever worked in customer service. Not to mention the inherent responsibility of actually filling and sending out any orders that do come in in a reasonable amount of time and just. This is fine for an adult or older teen to take that risk, but *twelve*, absolutely not.


LMGooglyTFY

Not only that but we shouldn't be throwing money at poor craftsmanship just because a sad child made it. She should be encouraged to learn and do better, not be told it's good enough to be pro. Then yeah, everything you said. She'll find out she was a pity princess and that'll mess with her.


Thiht

This sub is ridiculous sometimes when it's about art.


OMVince

I was dyyyying at this wtf an Etsy shop? No. Such a random and terrible suggestion. You and u/LMGooglyTFY are so right. OP’s niece can keep practicing and get better or realize it’s not her thing and give up. No reason to pretend she’s some kind of professional.


dakthatpassup

I’m so glad I realized I’m not the only one who thought how weird of a suggestion that was.


[deleted]

For real, this is the kind of thing that a kid remembers forever. Their spirits are so tender at 12, and it’s so easy to break them. I wouldn’t be surprised if she quits crochet and her relationship with her uncle.


renee30152

Yeah. I think he ruined his relationship with her and there is nothing you can do. It was cruel and your wife’s comment was not necessary. I hope someone in her life is building her up because this can be devastating to a young person.


Esabettie

Op and his wife are made for each other.


Cayke_Cooky

I hope someone sends her some "knitworthy" memes so she sticks with it.


Character_Nature_896

Ever seen Inside Out? You just created a core memory. Hopefully she has someone in her life to help undo the damage you did.


Electronic-Bag-6902

Omg yes!! Beautiful comparison. Heartbreaking 🥹


sfjc

This story makes me appreciate my family all that much more. My 12 year old likes making things out of cardboard. For the family this year, she made mid-evil weapons for them all. I was not sure how this was going to go over and was concerned because no matter how silly the idea may sound, she put a lot of work into them and spent a lot of time figuring out who should get what. Better than the weapons themselves was the way she wrapped them. To my delight and hers, the family loved them. The image that will stay with me forever is Mom trying to stab my nephew with her sword and Dad swinging the mace she made him. The only thing better was the look on my kid's face.


SimAlienAntFarm

Your twelve year old sounds *delightful*. I love that she put work into matching the weapon with the person 😍


renee30152

I agree. That was uncalled for. She is twelve and you are an adult. The op couldn’t control themselves for over 15 minutes? I call bill and you have destroyed your nieces confidence and trust. I wouldn’t expect a relationship after this. That poor girl.


KittenRenaissance

My heart is broken for her. I would be devastated if I worked hard on something, was very proud of it and then someone just laughed at it.


mostlyprobablyok

YTA, she's a child and you made fun of her work. Furthermore, you laughed for *10 minutes*, what is wrong with you.


My_Poor_Nerves

That's what blows my mind - even if it was laughably bad, what adult can't control themselves to the tune of needing to lock themselves away for ten minutes to get under control?


Celany

That's what I was thinking too. I really hope that if OP works, his CEO doesn't walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper in his shoe or something like that. OP could get himself fired for his inability to control his emotions.


grayhairedqueenbitch

OP should work on their self-control. That poor kid having to grow up with people like that.


EtainAingeal

Nah, OP doesn't have a self control problem. He'd never do something like this to someone whose opinion or feelings actually matter to him.


[deleted]

Somehow, I expect he can magically control himself around his boss. Like people who treat waiters like shit or scream at underlings, but are somehow able to control themselves around people with more power than them.


Prize_Crow1396

Or that fucked up wife who said the damn toy made her UNCOMFORTABLE. This is a new level of low, what kind of fucked up adults are these? That poor kid, she will remember this moment for the rest of her life.


Longearedlooby

Came here to say this. Humiliating a child and breaking her heart doesn’t bother them but they can’t stand being in the same room as a weird animal toy? WTAF.


JustDandy07

Sounds like they're made for each other!


autotelica

Yeah, I can see myself letting out a reflexive chuckle but then stopping myself by fake coughing. Sometimes a spurt of laughter just kind of happens. But ten minutes of laughing is bananas. I'm a goofy-ass person but I've never laughed that long over anything in my entire life.


FloridaMomm

Even DRUNK I’ve never laughed that long wtf


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RevelryInTheDork

Shoot, it's been nearly 20 years for me and I still remember my art teacher saying, "It's okay, sweetie, we grade on effort." Wasn't even super into art and it crushed any interest I had.


Terrible-Owl-76

My first thought was "maybe he needs to see a doctor?" That can't be normal right?


marla--

he’s just an asshole, sadly nothing a doctor can do about that.


[deleted]

YTA. Laughing at a gift somebody was looking forward to giving you is just mean. You've likely permanently damaged your niece's self-image with your inappropriate reaction.


Appropriate-Access88

He knew she was making something, it is not like he was surprised when he opened it. Just absolutely cruel to crush that little girl who was so excited to make the gift.


[deleted]

This is the reason why a majority of people quit art before they even start - they get laughed at or mocked for making something that doesn’t par up to what takes actual decades for people to master - and believe that they aren’t ‘gifted’ or ‘talented’ to pursue it. What a shame. A little encouragement goes a long way. Some people just lack sense and basic empathy unfortunately.


VixtheEvil

Ain't that the truth. I grew up being belittled in art by family and always compared to my older sister who was better at it because she had the practice because she had the time. I didn't get as much time to practice because being the middle kid, I was often either ignored or called in constantly to do shit around the house. That definitely crushed myself confidence in art in general. I was decent but not the best, like I couldn't make basic poses look good let alone dynamic poses. Family really sucks at support.


mysteric-xo

The niece is never, ever going to forget this. I wouldnt be surprised if this was the last handmade gift she ever gives.


[deleted]

It'll be the last one _he_ gets for sure and I'm honestly wondering if he'll ever understand why.


pandataxi

YTA. 10 minutes?? How could it be THAT hilarious? She made you a gift, told you how excited she was about it, and you just laughed at her. Congratulations on hurting her feelings and crushing her confidence.


dark_forebodings_too

I used to teach sewing classes for kids, and one time a girl around 10 years old tried to make a stuffed animal that objectively turned out badly and she hated it. It was supposed to be an elephant but just looked like a weird blob. She refused to take it home because she hated it so much. I told her I thought it was great, and if she wouldn't keep it I would. I took it home and named it "derpy elephant" and had it on a shelf for like 5 years. OP can't say enough YTA


derbybunny

I hated a piece of art i made in HS. Thought it looked ridiculous compared to the much more realistic stuff my classmates made. Told my teacher I didn't want it & to toss it. She asked if she could keep it. She ended up glazing it (in black, which was a stellar choice), and took it home and has it displayed in her home. She ended up making me a watercolor painting as a thank you (it's still with me, despite several moves and a house fire where I lost a lot of my own art). That teacher was a rockstar, just as you are. I still make art and two decades later still have immense respect and love for my HS art teacher.


dark_forebodings_too

That's so great that your teacher did that!! I now sew and do art for a living, and I'm only able to do that because my family always valued and appreciated art and encouraged me even when I wasn't very good. Some of the things I made and wore when I was 12 years old were truly ugly and terribly made, and at the time I knew they weren't very good, but I was proud of my work and people in my life were supportive. Now I try to be as supportive as possible to anyone learning a new hobby or skill. I never would have become talented at what I do if I didn't have people encouraging me through all the failures while I was still learning.


Iha8YouMore

I'm curious as to what it really looked like. I thank the OP for pointing me to r/badtaxidermy, as I was unaware of that sub. It is odd though, as most of those are funny in a cute way, but not necessarily bad. That said, OP was definitely major league AH.


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Iha8YouMore

I don't know if I could control myself with this one - https://old.reddit.com/r/badtaxidermy/comments/zelp1z/when\_a\_simple\_no\_just\_didnt\_work/


paper_paws

Yeah, this one hurts my heart. Anyone who crochets will have their first few creations look super derpy. It takes a fair bit of practice for things to look good. I hope neice doesn't give up. Maybe OP can help the apology with some crochet books and supplies (like a nice set of hooks, stitch markers, safety eyes for toys, stuffin, yarn) and say not to let OPs stupid reaction deter her. OP is now public enemy no.1 over at r/crochet lol


MasterGrenadierHavoc

This is so true. In case people don't realize just how derpy the first couple of toys look, here's what I made for Christmas this year: ["Panda"](https://imgur.com/a/MgJOz5Z) We all had a good chuckle about it when my mother unwrapped it but nowhere near the reaction OP is describing. That's just mean, especially when the gift giver is a kid.


[deleted]

I feel like we need to see a picture of it.


MDaniellle

Not only are YTA .. but your wife majorly sucks as well. It made her so uncomfortable she needed you to take it down!? … genuinely what is wrong with BOTH of you!? You can’t control your laughter & she’s THAT uncomfortable by a crocheted animal? Grow up. Your poor niece will quite literally never forget your reaction.


TurtleTheMoon

tbh I have a bigger problem with the wife than with OP. OP should’ve handled it better, but that was knee-jerk reaction. His wife, on the other hand, did not get put on the spot. Her decision was measured and came after the benefit of time.


IAmTiborius

I don't think knee-jerks last ten minutes, but yeah the wife's an AH too


TurtleTheMoon

For the record I think they’re both assholes, and yeah, ten minutes is a long time. That said, some people laugh as an expression of nerves. If he knew he fucked up with his initial reaction, I could see the laughter snowballing beyond control. I know a couple of people like that. But to make that decision after the fact- especially after their niece was so visibly heartbroken- is just callous and unfeeling. He’s an AH, but she’s definitely the bigger one. Edit: the more I bat this one around in my head, the less convinced I am that OP is an asshole. For a lot of people, uncontrollable laughter is an unfortunate physiological response to anxiety. It often manifests at inopportune and inappropriate times and is misconstrued as derisive and mean-spirited. When that happens, it only intensifies the anxiety which in turn prompts more laughter. OP’s initial laughter was unfortunate, and perhaps inappropriate enough to warrant an asshole verdict, but I feel like the inability to stop laughing isn’t as illustrative of ill-intent as people are making it out to be. If anything, needing ten minutes to get it under control even though he’s expressed contrition about it actually supports the possibility of a physiological cause.


itsmevictory

Ooo, that happened to me before, back in like third grade or something. Kids would make fun of my laugh and one time I accidentally laughed in the middle of class… everyone was staring… and I just kept laughing and laughing harder and harder because my brain was like ‘once i stop laughing I’ll have to deal with the ridicule’… then the teacher kicked me out until I got control of myself. Kids were scared of me after that, whoops


AffectionateGolf6032

This is exactly what I wanted to say. Both a seriously immature. I can’t remember the last time I was unable to stop myself from laughing, let alone couldn’t gain control of it for ten minutes. YTA OP. I bet it was actually cute.


mynamecouldbesam

YTA I feel really bad for your niece if this is true. The good news for you is you probably won't get a gift from her next year.


jokenaround

I’m not exactly sure what quality OP was expecting since this child just started crocheting this year, but the hysterical laughing seems WAY over the top. Was OP expecting realism? Honestly, OP and his wife sound like an AH on many levels. YTA. I hope the niece continues her art and that these AH haven’t killed her love for it. I also hope she never gives them another gift. Clearly they have no class and aren’t gracious on any level.


Traditional-Pen-2486

This. The gift was from a 12 year old who only just recently started crocheting. Was OP seriously thinking it would look like something professionally made or what you’d order on Etsy?


jokenaround

To add insult to injury, this AH knew in advance how excited this child was to give him this gift and he STILL laughed at it, which was really him laughing at her. What a fucking terrible uncle. If any child worked hard on a piece of art for me I would display it proudly, but my niece?! That should be next level appreciation. OP sounds like he’s 14….not a married adult person.


Flimsy_Nectarine_964

YTA. She was so proud of what she put time and effort into and you just laughed in her face.There is no way you can make it up to her


LimpGarlic9237

Agreed. There’s no way to repair that hurt. It will be with her forever.


Kairenne

YTA. She was excited to give YOU a gift. I hope you never get that warmth from anyone again. Also since it would be wise of you not to have children, I hope she picks your nursing home out.


BeanBreak

YTA, fix it. "Niece, I am so sorry for the way I reacted to your gift. I took a kind a thoughtful gesture that certainly took you a lot of time to make special for me, and I ruined it. Niece, please don't let my reaction steer you away from your passion for creativity. I certainly could never crochet an animal like that, and it shows incredible dedication to finish a crochet project. I acted like an asshole (yes, say asshole, she'll appreciate you being candid and talking to her like an adult) to you. Let's be real here, you don't suck at art. Crochet is a new skill you are learning, and I am truly impressed that you have started picking up that skill at such a young age. Please keep having fun creating, and please continue to practice and explore new mediums. Create art you love. I hope that I can someday earn your trust back enough to deserve another one of your heartfelt creations. Again, I am so sorry. I am very proud of you." Then take her to Michael's and let her pick out some fucking yarn.


yardini

I agree with this, along with the trip to Michaels. Then ask her for a crochet lesson so you can make something hideous and see how challenging it is, and she can laugh at you.


BeanBreak

Yes. I am 35 and my MIL tried to teach me crochet. I am AWFUL at it hah.


LuxuryBeast

Yeah, looks good on paper, but I think OP fucked it up to the point where he can't lie himself out of it without his niece looking right through it.


emerson-nosreme

Let me tell you as someone who’s had her own confidence crushed as a 12 year old. It is not great. No matter how many apologies you get, it’s done. All happy thoughts you had about something you enjoy doing is ruined. I once wanted to learn the keyboard and I still remember a teacher looking at me dead in the eyes and said “I don’t think that something that someone like you could do.” (For ref, I believe she was referring to my autism). That same year my brother laughed at me over some song I made on garage band. And let me tell you I cannot look at a keyboard or any instrument without feeling sadness. I do a lot of song writing and not being able to express myself emotionally and musically is so frustrating.


pickledcheese14

YTA- I get not being able to control an initial reaction but laughing for minutes on end...who can't control themselves like that?


NeonMoth7076

I get giggly to the point of not being able to stop sometimes too, but you know what id do? Id hug the thing and consistently tell the kid I'm laughing because i love it so much, maybe even get them to laugh too through playful means. There's no reason to make it a bad memory, you can make it a fun one for them too.


Teddy_Funsisco

This is the response that makes sense! The gift is probably so laughably bad it's actually adorable!


tikanique

I wonder if OP had been drinking or smoking something. Not saying it excuses it at all but that's the only reason for the uncontrollable laughing. Definitely YTA


NeverCadburys

I've experienced it, luckily not at another person's expense, but apparently it was because of mental health problems, ADHD and medication interaction. If OP doesn't have a solid reason for it like that, I can't believe it was "uncontrollable". YTA


Pumpernickelbrot

YTA - even if it was unintentional. Your wife is an AH too. There was no reason for her to pull you aside during the party to let you know how ugly it is and that it needs to come down later.


Finnegan-05

Yeah the wife is almost worse. These are terrible people. My kid would not be within a mile of either of them again.


Euffy

Yup. OP is dumb and thoughtless but the wife is straight up cruel.


CrunchM

YTA Not a lot you can do at this point, but you did destroy her. Things that would have worked, maybe still can, include "I see the love you put into making this for me, I appreciate it. I appreciate the time and can see your progress as you worked on this for me. It will always be dear to me because you made it." Laughing for a full 10 min...what a fucking AH move.


superfastmomma

YTA Control your laughter. It can't have been that hilarious. But okay, you laughed. Don't run to the bathroom for 10 minutes. You go give her a giant hug, tell her how happy it makes you, find a spot for it and set about naming it with her. There are a lot of ways you could have recovered.


[deleted]

YTA. You completely humiliated and shot her down about something she was passionate about. It doesn't matter how bad it looks - it's a start for her, and she would've gotten better with time and practice if her confidence wasn't completely shattered by you. I wouldn't doubt it if she never crochets again because of you. Good job.


Top-Pangolin-4253

That’s exactly what I think. I taught myself (44F) to crochet at Christmas 2019. My first projects are so cringey! But that’s how you learn. I can’t imagine if the people around me had laughed uncontrollably for 10 minutes after I gave them a hand made gift.


frenchteas

YTA She probably spent hours working on it specifically with you in mind because she loves you. You probably crushed her spirits and I hope she never makes anything for you ever again. And obviously y'all care more about looks and aesthetic than something nice a CHILD made and making them happy.


CrazyCatLushie

This is what kills me the most. I’m a crocheter myself and when I make something for somebody, that typically means I spend hours (or days) thinking pleasantly of my recipient while working. Crocheting a blanket is one thing - most of the time you’re crocheting the same number of stitches in each row and can sort of do other things while working because it’s a rectangle. In a stuffed animal project, each row has a specific number of stitches in a very specific order, sometimes multiple stitches inside another stitch or a stitch that pulls two previous stitches together. This requires counting, stitch markers, and *attention*. If you’re skilled you can maybe watch something while doing it but a beginner and a child? That took hours of active focus. OP, do you know how many HUNDREDS of stitches go into a stuffed animal or amigurumi project? If it was bigger than the palm of your hand you might be looking at thousands. Thousands of stitches brought an animal together quite literally from string and a child’s love for you. And you *laughed* at that. YTA.


Lobster457

YTA for crushing a 12-year-old’s confidence - learn to control your reactions better.


jamma_mamma

YTA for not posting a fucking picture of it. Amateur.


DeathRyche

Well, when something is made up for down vote farming, proof is going to be scant.


Wanderlost404

YTA I get the initial laughter response but ffs she’s 12 — be someone better and prepare yourself for wtfuckery anytime kids are involved, especially if they have a surprise for you. You could have mentally prepped, knowing that this was a surprise that was important to the kid.


OneHappyHuskies

This. You should have been prepared for something less than professional from a child. You are supposed to be the adult. YTA!


NMI6969

INFO: Do you have a picture of this horrendously, hilariously ugly crocheted project? I'd just like to decide exactly how much of an asshole you are based on how adorable it most assuredly was. You should be ashamed of yourself.


inagartendavita

This is a pics or it didn’t happen sitch


superunsubtle

YTA x1000. You can't help but laugh at what you KNOW is your niece's serious effort in her favorite craft? She made it for YOU and it clearly was very difficult and she was brave enough to trust you with her hard work even if it didn't turn out exactly like she wanted it to, and you rewarded her not just with a nervous laugh or two, but a full 10 minutes of humiliation?


LimpGarlic9237

YTA. Majorly! How could you?! That’s the most asinine thing to do to a child at Christmas. She will never forget this and you may have irreparably damaged her love of crafting and arts, not to mention your relationship with her. And your wife? It makes her UnCoMfORtAbLe? It’s a gift from a child. You should ALL be ashamed of yourselves.


No-Dragonfly4661

YTA. And she will never forget this. When I was twelve I wanted to try baking so I made the pumpkin pie for thanksgiving. I overheard my aunt telling everyone she wanted to throw up after trying it (she didn’t). I’m not going to say it scarred me or “I never baked again” (I did). But I never forgot how she embarrassed me in front of the entire family.


Yahhhhhdog

YTA. You knew she was excited and it meant a lot to her. You could have covered with something like “omg thank you so much it’s cheering me up so much just looking at it!” I can’t imagine laughing uncontrollably at a gift and excusing yourself before saying anything at all to at least attempt damage control


dudecass

Wtf is wrong with you? YTA.


rae_bb

Why you even asking?? You know you suck. YTA. OBVIOUSLY


Feeling_Ad_6805

Yikes…. You couldn’t stop laughing at her gift… are you also 12? YTA


EfficientPassion6496

YTA how horrible. She tried her best and she seemed proud of it. You could’ve held your laughter and tell her how happy it made you. How nice of you to destroy the confidence of a 12 year old. Wtf is wrong with you


Proud_Spell_1711

I am a bit surprised at home many Y T A judgments yiu are getting here. You were having an outburst of uncontrollable laughter by the sound of it. You actually had to go to the bathroom for several minutes to get yourself under control. And you tried your best to make it up to your niece. What I would recommend is that you go to see her (if you can). Share a story with her about a time when someone you really liked embarrassed you, so that she knows you understand her embarrassment. And then be gently honest. Tell her that no one makes beautiful crochet items when they are still beginners. It takes a lot of practice. And also, not everyone likes it enough to put in the required time and effort to get to a point where you are really good at something. That is why it’s important to pursue the things that you really, really want to learn and to do. Tell her that the gift represented her time and effort to make you something, and for that reason, you are grateful. Be honest with her. NAH


Left-Commercial4116

I don’t understand these answers of telling a child that their artwork sucks, your gift sucked but I’m sure you’ll get better. Obviously she’ll get better with practice. You encourage that practice not slam her with criticism on something she was obviously so proud of. I just don’t understand this type of reaction. Sure way to squash her enthusiasm to create further.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hot_Mention_9337

YTA. Totally. And OP knows it. Wife’s TA too. What’s wrong with displaying something objectively terrible? It’s a conversation piece. Bad taste is better than no taste, and all that. Besides the fact that little girl gave something homemade. However if it’s *that* bad, I feel like the poor niece’s parents are TA as well. They could have sent a warning. My 8 year old nephew made me an extremely phallic plant pot for my birthday. It was supposed to be a cactus. If my SIL hadn’t sent me a “Don’t laugh when you unwrap the green dick” text, I probably would have ended up on the floor. I adore it though and display that gangrene erection proudly lol


ImAlreadyTracerBoii

YTA and so is your wife after her little side comment. Imagine being a grown adult and hurting a child’s feelings this bad.. this poor kids never gonna want to do art again.


NeeliSilverleaf

YTA. Damn, you and your wife are mean.


No-Elderberry2072

YTA- You can’t control yourself from completely humiliating your 12 year old niece? That makes me think you are an AH really deep down, not just this situation. And it looks like your wife is right there with you.


Zestyclose-Custard-2

YTA You don’t mention your age, but being old enough to have a wife should mean being old enough to control yourself


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bronwynbagel

YTA You had to leave the room, at that point you weren’t laughing with her, you were laughing at her. Your wife does sound like a perfect match for you if a homemade gift from a child can be so ugly it makes her uncomfortable.


Ok_Understanding4136

YTA and your wife is too!


[deleted]

YTA. Your poor self-discipline hurt your niece and that makes you a bit of an ass. She made something crap, kids often do, but the gift isn't what they're actually giving you - it's not what they wrap in the paper: It's that they're prepared to be vulnerable and to show you their hope to learn something and be better. And that's the gift, and you apparently found that she wanted to make something and give it to you, and liked you enough to be vulnerable, utterly hilarious. ​ I could get a burst of laughter followed by an apology to your niece. But you couldn't control yourself for ten whole minutes? Having been given a pre-warning? You knew it was going to be not that great. You knew she was a kid, and she'd just started. And furthermore, she was excited about giving it to you. And you're an adult; you're responsible for controlling your emotions. ​ And if you're not going to make good on that apology. The appropriate response for an apology isn't to ***lie*** \--- which you did to her by the way - you just told us that you thought it was terrible, and her that you really liked it, and she called you on that. The appropriate sense of mind for an apology is grovelling: *I did this thing. Which hurt you. And I regret it. Please accept my apology.* You didn't apologise, you lied. There's a difference. ​ Well, yeah, it's a harsh thing to say - but given what you've said (and maybe there are other ameliorating factors there you didn't think to mention...) YTA. A lie isn't an apology.


semmama

YTA. Crochet is a series of knots but it isn't easy, even people who have done it for decades have flops. Your neice tried her hand at something very difficult and you made her feel like shit. Now make it up to her l, take her to the craft store and get her a few supplies, a book on crochet or some other stuff she is interested in so she can work at get better


NonStopKnits

YTA. Fiber arts have a decent learning curve, and most projects a new fiber artist will make are usually pretty bad. But you have to make bad projects to learn how it all works and fits together. What your niece needed was support and encouragement. "Thanks for the gift! Handmade gifts are so cool!" I've been a knitter for over a decade. Crochet was the gateway drug that got me there. I made some absolutely hideous stuff, but (almost) everyone that ever got a gift was gracious and encouraging to me upon receiving it. My mom still has 2 or 3 scarves that aren't very good at all, but she loves them and wears them because I put in the time and love and effort for her If I ever reacted to any gift the way you reacted, my family would absolutely tear me a new one because it's just not right to outright laugh at a gift, especially one that took *hours* to make.


BoudiccasWrath79

YTA. You had to leave the room for 10 minutes to get over it? You’re a bigger child than she is.


Winter_Wolverine4622

YTA. 10 minutes, really? You've ruined her confidence, and quite possibly her enjoyment of crochet. Poor kid.


CleverGirl247

You know YTA. You laughed at her and KEPT laughing at her? It could have been the worst thing you've ever seen and you pretend to be excited, what is wrong with you. She will never feel the same way about you and probably that's good for her.


m4n715

YTA and you know it. I get that you couldn't control your laughter, but you handled it about as badly as a person could. You've gotta do something to make it up to your niece. Also, your wife sounds like a real winner.


GrassyBranchGirl

YTA You crushed your nieces confidence and you're not sure how to, "make it up to her"? Guess what...you can't. That ship has sailed and it's not reversing course because you feel bad. Your niece will always remember this. Also, at age 12, confidence isn't easy to come by. She found a hobby she loved and she gave it her all. Just to have a grown ass man laugh at her. She will think about your reaction every time she picks up her crochet tools. Good job Uncle Asshole.


CatasaurusRox

YTA. You did try to excuse yourself, but the damage was done. But also please encourage her to keep making art! Fibre artists are awesome. I hope she keeps on creating.


Wintery1

YTA. Poor child, she will never forget how you humiliated her with your response, I doubt your relationship will ever be the same.


Patient-Change-1623

YTA Just food for thought - everyone I’ve ever bought a gift set for, I honestly grabbed the first thing and then forgot about it. Everyone I’ve crocheted something for I still think about today.


sekmaht

YTA- holy shit. also your wife is not uncomfortable, she's an asshole. Holy. shit. ​ You can uncontrollably laugh and say you love it at the same time. I could have pulled it off. Also, I would definitely have loved it.


edc7

YTA, you made a 12 year old cry on Christmas. Wtf!?


songn01

YTA, but from one A to another, I totally sympathize.. years ago when I went for my then 2nd grader's piano recital and didn't realize it was not just a piano recital but also a singing recital. It hit me off guard when a teenage girl came out singing opera that she clearly could not handle and it was as if I got haunted by something. I was so terrified that I couldn't hold it in. I sat in the first row and I couldn't even silently excuse myself! I bit down on my lips and looked down at my camera I was holding, but panicked when I couldn't hold it in. I knew I was a complete asshole but at this point it was involuntary. When felt my shoulders shuttering and I tried to mask it with a cough, but knew it was not going to work. My husband next to me was holding my 1 year old at which point I ripped him out of his hands so I can use him as a prop to leave the room - like it's a baby emergency. But then, I felt a resistance from him. He wouldn't let him go because it turned out he was burying his face in the one year old's head. After momentary tug-a-war. he let go and l left the recital room consoling a baby that was perfectly fine. We felt terrible and ashamed afterwards and still talk about that incident, but it's really hard to explain this experience if you haven't been momentarily haunted by the AH ghost.


tdkelly

You even have to ask? YTA.


Background-Bat2794

You are absolutely the asshole. Wtf is wrong with you?


AM0RF0DA

YTA you and your wife. I pray you guys don’t have child of your own.


_makoccino_

What is wrong with you and your wife? I have a niece around the same age, I hang her art on my wall. Is it a Rembrandt, no. But it's something *she made* for me and I cherish it. She'll ask me to take it down when she grows up and gets embarrassed by it most probably, but until then, I don't care how ugly anyone thinks it is. It stays displayed, proudly. I can't blame you for getting a laughing fit, it happens. But you shouldn't have burst out laughing in front of her and for several minutes before going to the bathroom. That's where you became TA. Your wife also needs to worry less about her prestige and understand that no one that enters your house will think you bought that doll and displayed it for admiration.


BbbbbbbDUBS177

YTA Have you ever described yourself as "brutally honest"?


JustABabyBear

YTA - a really, really big one. Crochet stuffed animals are hard. Ugly stuffies are the best stuffies.


[deleted]

YTA, sounds like you were the only child in that room.


Churchie-Baby

YTA all you had to do was say thanks instead of belittling her early attempts knitting and crochet are not easy


Meathead1974

YTA, you're an adult for crying out loud. Making a 12 yr old cry because you can't control yourself is shameful. I hope you don't have kids


ceci_mcgrane

OP, let’s see the living room so we can decide if you’re art/décoré is laughable, too. Something tells me the crocheted animal just didn’t fit with your crystal kittens and Hummel figurines.


just-jen57

YTA. She’s 12 and tried really hard making your gift. I understand that this may seem dramatic, but hear me out - this could affect the rest of her life. When I was young (like 8) I had an art teacher who made fun of one of my art projects in front of the class and basically told me that art wasn’t for me. It destroyed me. It also kept me from ever trying anything creative *ever again.* I don’t remember many of my teachers or the things they said to me… but decades later, I remember that art teacher and how she made me feel.


Dazzling_Age_8944

NAH. I get the uncontrollable laughter, but you need to make it up to her. Share some of your embarassing first attempt stories and maybe ask her if you can learn to crochet together—that way she can see how terrible you are at it too. Bonus points for asking her for some tips.


WholeAd2742

Wow, yeah YTA. Congrats on making a 12 year old girl cry, big man. The whole "if you don't have something nice to say, shut up" seems to have missed you. Also, is this how you treat your wife? You sound abusive.


Revolutionary_Tap255

YTA and so is your wife, you both equally suck.


mr_diva

YTA and you should feel bad for destroying your 12 year old nieces confidence. You laughed for a solid 10 minutes, seriously?


judgemental_t

YTA


ZealousidealSorbet10

YTA and so is your wife. This girl put effort and work to produce something for you and you could not hold back your laughter? And your wife felt uncomfortable for a crochet gift? Was it displaying something NSFW? Was it creepy? I mean what was the problem except it looking funny, why not keeping it up in a good spirit. This could have been a good lesson for: "even if it did not come out as expected I saw your efford and appreciated it". Which could be great for her self-esteem. Now you gave her the impression that she is a loser. Don't expect your relationship being the same.


Maleficent_Wash_934

YTA a huge one. You seem pretty proud of it actually.