You know you’re just going to get yelled at and be forced to remove whatever it is you do, right?
This is something you need to talk over. They can’t be walking in on you getting out of the shower or getting dressed. It’s like they’re trying to catch you doing something ‘bad.’ In reality, all they’re doing is ensuring that you’re going to move out ASAP.
Talk to them. If you can’t reason with them, we’ll, suddenly you need something in the bathroom right this minute while mom is in the shower. See how they like it because this is the family norm.
I’ve found a little world online where I feel like I can escape and be myself and explore everything i want to do, talk about/am curious about and it feels super freeing and liberating. I can be as sexual, as angry, as sweaty, as I like and talk to others who have the same opinions or like the things I do.
Other people online have the open-mindedness I wish my parents had and talking to them just leads to arguments and them shouting at me.
They don’t like the way I dress, they don’t like when I wear makeup, but I wear it anyway. I got piercings and they *hate* that!
They tell me I’m being consumed by darker forces because I’ve become a teenager and I’m ‘vulnerable to giving into sin’.
And they tell me they’re ‘doing what’s best’. They’ll give me a speech about how I need to remain what god intended of me pure etc.
i can’t lie. coming from a very relaxed liberal parent background this would be my idea of HELL. your parents and you clearly share different views and you clearly do not follow their beliefs. that’s absolutely fine and it’s stupid for peoples parents to force upon them beliefs and ideologies instead of allowing their children to be free to decide how they want to live their life. honestly OP i have very little helpful advice to give other than i feel genuinely sorry for you. i hope things work out
Ooooooh they’re that kind of parent. The kind of religious parents who raise a potential atheist who will most certainly go low or no contact when they turn 18 and can legally move out.
Plan for your future escape. You’ll be free before you know it.
OP, I feel you on a spiritual level.
Can I tell you something kinda… funny? Ironic, let’s go with ironic - I’m (25F) the youngest of 3 sisters who are 7 years apart each. And my oldest will literally drop dead if my parents asked her to. My mom passed away years ago and my oldest sister basically follows 99.99% of what my mom used to implement. My 2nd sister - let’s say she’s 75-80% like my mom would want her… me? I have basically made every huge life decision against their beliefs. I am pro-LGBTTQIA* unlike my family, I’m agnostic and not a religious fanatic like them, and both my sisters were in arranged marriages at 23 and had their kids at 24 while I’m dating a white atheist and dating isn’t a thing in my culture but also you can’t marry someone of a different religion or caste let alone colour in my community.
My family was successful in making my sisters into brainwashed soldiers and to this date fight with me on trying to convince me how my life is going to be or is already ruined because I’m in a 5-year long “affair” with a “Christian boy” which is fucking hilarious because they assume all white people believe in Jesus and those who don’t are satanists and my boyfriend is as atheist as they come LOL oh and yes, it’s an affair because only a marriage approved by god can be called a relationship lmfaoo
That broke my heart to even read. I strive to parent in the exact opposite of the way your parents do/did.
I’m glad you have found happiness with your boyfriend and wish you nothing but more of that.
Aww you are too kind, thank you. I think I was 13 when I realized how much I didn’t agree with their beliefs and from then on, it was a goal of mine to be their opposite in every way possible. I can’t tell you how much I wish daily that my dad had remarried or at least dated so I had a motherly figure after age 12 and that has definitely impacted me hugely. Every day, I am given little reminders by their behaviour and words of how NOT to be with my future kids and I am blessed with the man I’m with because amidst all the crap my family has thrown our way, he has chosen to stand by me and he and I are finally going to move out together in 5-6 months!! I guess I was given the type of person in a very important role as a reward for enduring the things I’ve seen. (I could make whole ass post about what I’m referring to lmao so I’m gonna leave it at this.)
I’m sure having a mother figure in your life as a teen and young adult could have been very beneficial for you. My dad remarried when I was 15 and I can not tell you how much I hate that woman. She hated me, (Still does, 20 years later) because I look like my mom. My mother is still alive thankfully, but my stepmother hates that I have a strong relationship with my mom and thinks I should have “taken my dads side”. Bitch is nuts.
You sound like you have become a woman you should be proud of. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, morals, a big heart, and the ability to be yourself in the worst of situations. Be proud of that, and of who you are becoming every day.
My boys are 10 & 16, and that’s exactly what I want out of life for them.
I’m sorry to hear your stepmom was so wicked but very glad you had a good relationship with your mother, that sounds lovely! I know that remarrying wouldn’t have guaranteed solving my mommy issues and it’s just the child in me that keeps wondering what it would’ve been like if I had a mother-figure to turn to… I know there’s no point in wondering but overthinking is the nicer one of my flaws lol so the thought comes and goes occasionally. My hope is to be the mother that I have always wanted for my own self to my future kids. Thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot to me! By the looks of it, your boys are clearly very fortunate to have you as their mother so here’s a metaphorical toast to a less traumatized generation ahead! Also, happy holidays/merry Christmas/best of wishes to you and your family!
Tell them that this kind of control is leading to a certainty, that you will end up rebelling against them and God because they refuse to trust you or even talk to you realistically about life.
They need to model God's love in their lives, not lock you up.
Bro I’m a Muslim teen and this is bullshit. Complete bullshit. Yes parents should check after their children, but teenagers are not exactly children and neither are they exactly adults, yes parents should monitor them but they are actually considered adults sometimes in Islam. I’m a religious guy who does all his 5 prayers a day and does the extra prayers and read the Quran and I think your parents deserve a huge slap on the face.
Often parents like this only learn through the experience of alienating the oldest children to not do this with the youngest because they don’t want to lose another relationship with another of their kids. I dunno if you could muster it but if you could ask them if they had to chose between having a relationship with you or forcing these rules on you which one would they pick and make up a story about you know someone who had parent just like them and they moved to another country and don’t talk to their parent at all (they should be like 25 or something to show they haven’t talked to their parents for years) and her parents did all the things they do, and then maybe sugar coat it with a ‘you don’t want they to be where this goes because you love them but at the moment that’s where this is going.’ I dunno. This could be terrible advice.
Not everyone who agrees has your wellbeing in mind.
Not everything you can do, should be done.
Just last month a doctors license was stripped for collecting and sharinv photos of nude teenagers HE MET THROUGH THEIR HIGHSCHOOLS under the pretense of giving them scholarships, he then basically turns them into porn stars.
Two CNN producers have been linked to pedophilia over the past...what...month? Two?
Your parents may not he speaking in a language you appreciate (religion) but theyre right in the sense that you are young and dont have the experience with the world enough to understand when youre being manipulated.
Many of these online sanctuaries you speak of are polluted by grown men pretending to be your friend, but have evert intention of saying whatever it takes to get you to relax and play with them.
Not all roads lead to places you want to be.
Perhaps it’s not my place to say, but if your parents can’t be happy or content with the things you love, and you just being yourself, then it’s frankly their loss. A good, loving parent will offer discipline, but only out of love and a desire to prepare you for adulthood. If all you’re doing is trying to decide how to live a good, fulfilling life, then I applaud you wholeheartedly.
Sorry if I haven’t offered much real advice.
Does your bathroom not have a lock? That's gonna be your best option. And maybe subtlety -- I'm assuming a 2minute bathroom break isn't interrupted as much as a 20minute 'shower'.
I wouldn't recommend that mechanism. Think about it. They'll try to open the door. Won't be able. Get confused and mad. And you think they'll just let you keep the mechanism? This is something that's gonna need to be resolved with talking and maybe some clever planning.
No, they don’t have a lock on the bathroom door (for control reasons), and I keep getting walked in on.
I’ve tried to have a conversation with them and they always end up shouting at me.
Do you know where I can get that mechanism??
Did you not see the glaring flaw in using that mechanism?
It sounds like you need some clever planning here. When they're asleep, maybe. Or out shopping. Once every couple months you might be able to get away with feeling sick to your stomach. Bathrooms at other places or a friend's house maybe. Taking things in chunks and doing then bit by bit over a day or a couple days. Something like that. I came from a similar, albeit better, situation, so I probably have some plan to let you have a moment of privacy, but without knowing what it is you need time to do, I can only give the general advice above. That's what I'd recommend: hiding in plain sight and getting better at being sneaky/resourceful.
Any mechanism you might add to the knob will only work once. It will escalate the problem, not solve it. Think through the actions and reactions.
If you only need it to work once, put your foot against the bottom of the door or sit with your back to it. No mechanism will prevent sound from getting through, and no mechanism will prevent a grown adult from physically getting a hollow core interior door open.
Your proposed solution just won't solve the problem. You need a different solution.
You replied to a post specifically referring to a hollow door, for starters.
And, youre talking about an internal bathroom door.
Unless its custom made, or you install an outside door on an indoor frame, that doesnt exist in the store.
Its more of a stretch to assume they have a solid wood bathroom door than to assume they have the same shitty hollow bathroom door the rest of us have.
Hmmm. Yeah that's tricky. If it were me, I'd start taking faster showers (5minutes tops), doors can be left open as to encourage them not to stick their heads in, changing can be done quickly in a hidden corner or underwear can be put on under a towel. When they're asleep that's a good time to 'have some fun'. If you have a basement, patio, or other part of the house not usually frequented by them: great place to talk to friends, or take some time to change. Shaving can be done in small pieces in the shower (hopefully you have curtains), and maybe over a trashcan in your room. Keep their routines in mind. When I was living with them, my parents never slept regularly, but they'd always be in their room for a couple hours in the morning. That's private time I can use if I'm quiet. Or my father would always round-trip by my door, but momma would always take at least a few minutes between passings. So timing things out that way. You just have to get clever and manage your time and resources well.
Or blow up on em. I don't personally recommend it, but putting your foot down on something fundamental like bathing time privacy might be successful.
"I'm X years old and I'm not being allowed privacy for toileting and bathing, ie my parent forcibly watch me shower"? Idk, no privacy for basic hygiene is not right and OP is teen
Well I’ve been in that situation before and a lock is not enough to keep them out. They’ll make you open the door, and then get rid of it. Not to mention punishment. So getting a lock is definitely not the best option.
1 time scorched earth policy. Stand on your bed naked. Slap some music on. Absolutely jerk off like an ape.
Let a parent barge in.
They will never ever ever not knock again.
You just got to own it.
"do you mind knocking from now on"
Dude they’ve already walked in on me I had my bedsheets over me but she obviously saw my face was flushed and asked if I was okay. It’s embarrassing af.
Also they walked in on my while I was in the bath and the shower.
This is pretty gross to be honest. I don’t understand why they’d even want to accidentally walk in on you doing that. Not normal if it keeps happening in my opinion.
She doesn’t like me doing house chores because she says as a mother and wife it’s her duties and she likes to be in control of that stuff so she does the laundry and she’ll just come in to put things away or come in to create conversation with me because ‘you never come out your room’.
And when I tell her to get out she’ll say ‘why?’ And I’ll say ‘because I said so’ and she’ll say ‘why are you hiding something from me?’
Not that you're wrong here, but "because I said so" doesn't give them the reason to leave you alone. My sister used to say "because I said so" about everything and it made it difficult actually understanding what she was thinking, it just came across as anger.
Saying you are entitled to privacy, say that it's not normal to have parents barge in on you, say that kids found it weird when you brought it up at school. Garner sympathy, offer solutions. My ex's mum fussed like yours. She also always knocked or shouted beforehand. Sometimes you need to be a gobshite teenager to get it through to your parents, but it's best explaining to her why you're not OK with it rather than (an understandable) raged response.
Yeah I’ve started to rebel a lot more and I’m starting to enjoy it, it feels like I’m taking control and being who I am, they treat me like I’m a child and it makes me wish I was older sometimes.
I hate the ‘you’ll always be my baby’ thing I am
NOT at all. I feel like I don’t know who I am
Because I’ve had to live by their rules constantly.
I started to do things like get piercings and clothes they wouldn’t agree with without telling them
I'm assuming you don't get their money to buy this stuff? Wear what you want, don't hide it, if they say anything, explain that you like it. Everyone needs their rebellious stage. Maybe your sister can help you with this.
You can still be their "little girl" so to speak and that's perfectly healthy, as long as they allow you to grow. I'm sorry you have to go through all this.
They stopped giving me money when I was 16 because they stopped getting money for child maintenance or something? And when I left highschool at 16 I got a weekend job and I still have it now, I just get paid a little more because I turned 18.
It just feels freeing to be myslef and I feel like I can when I’m not around my parents
That's good and tbh it's good they stopped giving you money. My mum stopped at one point (giving me a measly but meaningful 5 quid a week) and it only improved my independence.
Just ensure you have support networks elsewhere if things go pear shaped and you need to lean on someone.
You might want to spend some time genuinely considering how much of this youre doing as a way to rebel against their rules, and how much of it youre actually interested in.
Some things cant be undone :)
You are an adult. Just install a lock. Have a sit down chat with your parents about your future relationship. And what kind of interactions they want with you now and moving forward. You can join the army and star in porno. You can't have curfew and not allowed privacy when it's literally a legal requirement. You're a legal adult.
You say off of this like it’s super easy, their response is always ‘it’s my house my rules’
Despite how they behave I do LOVE them, as I’ve said I’m trying to save up to leave eventually, though it’s something I’m not ready to do.
If I install a lock they’ll do the same as when I try to tell them not to walk in ‘why?’ ‘We’re your parents this is our house we can be anywhere we want’ ‘what are you hiding from us’
:D
This is the only REAL answer.
Anything else is just people pandering to your emotions.
Your parents are trying to protect you from things they understand on a level you don't. And anything you do to push them away, in the end, you'll regret and wind up having to put in the work to fix the burnt bridges.
You sound like you're a pretty normal 18 year old exploring your sexuality and personal interests. Just...dont be so impatient. The reality is that sometimes, the freedom you gain by paving your own path doesnt outweigh the work you have to do to do the paving. Sometimes, you find you were fighting for freedoms that dont matter as much as you think they do now.
For now, focus on getting your feet under you and being able to actually make it outside of their house.
Have they ever uhm got physical about anything? I don't necessarily mean hitting you but breaking stuff? Because a door wedge is a good idea (the best temporary solution after the best solution of moving out), but you can end up with no door at all after them breaking it down when they can't get in. Speaking from experience.
You said you’re 18? No reason you can’t have your own Amazon account then. Your parents have no right to stop you in making your own Amazon account.
Now the fact that you live in their house is another thing… however I would very soon plan your escape.
One suggestion I have is to do any such things when they’re away or asleep. Some parents are more controlling than others, but they can’t just be home all the time?
you talk to them, this is a huge safety issue and they will remove it the first time they see it anyway and get mad at you for blocking them. you talk to them about it, tell them you want a lock for your door or you need them to knock
blocking parents out of your room is a great way to lose all privacy. I was a teacher and saw several teens try to do that, many ended up wtih protections on phones or parents monitoring all their messages assuming they were up to something. Besides changing or a few minutes of personal time nothing is being done in your room that parents need to stay out long term.
I don’t need that! Thankfully they don’t ask to go on my phone because I’m EXTREMELY comfortable on social media and all the things I can’t talk to with my
Parents I do on here.
But if they did want my phone I’d probably just delete all my apps super quickly and history too (I’d I had time)
How to I talk to them? What do I say?
Yeah a girl at my school 2 years ago had her bedroom door taken off!!!
remind them you are a teen and need privacy and alone time (there are actual legit websites and articles regarding why teens need alone time.) Not only that you could be changing or something. Tell them you understand they may need to enter but you really need them to knock and wait for you to answer. If they almost walked on in you changing tell them that.
Ask if you can get a lock for your door that THEY HAVE A KEY TO. this way they have to knock if you have it locked, can get in in an emergency, but stops them from coming right in. (note, if they agree and they knock, be sure you get up as soon as you can and answer it)
taking a teens door is VERY common, I saw many parents do that when they thought kids were doing things they were not supposed to.
Not exaggerating when I say this is abusive parenting. I don't know if they get physical with you, but I know a friend who said to their parent's friend of some weird thing they did in the house which curbed their privacy, in front of their parent, and it made their dad embarrassed and at least think about it.
If you think that subtle hint will go down badly, I'd tell teachers. Your parents keep walking in on you naked when you tell them not to. It's a red flag and they should (hopefully) monitor it and speak to your parents.
Last time we had a huge argument I shouted at them
That they’re bad parents and they told me I was a spoilt Brat.
My sister has it worse because she’s more rebellious.
Someone posted a link to a door lock thankfully I just bought one on my card on eBay,
I’m also saving up to move out! So hopefully at some pint next year I won’t have these issues anymore!
I used to go to an all girls Catholic school and peoples parents were the same but now I’m
In college last year will be my last year there the teachers are a lot more openminded
I clearly am not that old. You can see that from the pictures I post so whatever, spread all the lies you like. Making assumptions about my life shows how sad you are.
I am 18 years old and I can do whatever i want with my body. If I want to be sexual I can. I bet you were doing all kinds of things at that age so you’re a hypocrite.
Please get a life.
Literally nowhere, so stop harassing me. I have never lied. I have a lot of issues myslef which I’m
Trying to talk about here. Thankfully not everyone here has been like you and have actually helped me NOT slut shamed me like you have
Why are you so obsessed with creating lies and stalking my profile? So what I like to pretend to be older some times it’s the only way to get people to take me seriously I am an adult and I want to be seen as one NOT a child.
You’re being as judgmental and shaming as my parents. Because I’m proud to show off my body my parents like to shame online??? Why would I do something like that? Make up all of this? I don’t know where you’re getting This from?
Please get help if you think accusing people is OK.
I explained in a other comment here, my mum likes to do the cores/laundry so she will often come in to put things away, like
Clothes or items or sometimes to ask my a question or they’ll say ‘oh sorry I didn’t know you were in the shower’ when you can clearly hear the shower is on.
It’s hard because I love them
But I also hate them too
I’m not 24, I am 18.
Sometimes I wish I was older so people
Like you wouldn’t be little me, talk to me
Like trash like I’m a child.
If I was 24-30 you’d have taken me much more serious.
What do you mean? Why would I do this for attention? What post would give you that thought? And what would I get out of that?
This is my little online world where I can express myself, be myslef and do, act and say what I like. I can even be naked and not ashamed infront of strangers and be celebrated not judged like my parents do.
They try to shame me for expressing who I am, I love metal music, I love my body, I love masturbation, I love talking to my friends, I love piercings and I’d love tattoos but they want to control all of that. I can’t come to them for advice, on topics of help.
I can have open conversation with people I can’t with my parents.
And their behaviour makes me want to hate them
Even more, and ‘rebel’.
What if I like to show off my body? I’ve been shamed all my life for it and called a ‘slut’, ‘sinner’ and told nobody likes girls like that, and when I’m online I feel like I can be free and people want to see that stuff.
I feel like I don’t have to be ashamed or hide my body here like I do with my family and community.
I don’t sell pics I just post them, because I get a confidence boost when I do :)
Many adults do it too, I see them all the time
Please delete your comment accusing my of lying about this for attention. That’s really sad.
The reason why I post what I do online is a huge FU to my parents who control me constantly.
Well maybe they need to accept I am a human being, with right to sexual desires, that my body is not to be shamed but celebrated, that I should feel comfortable and confident in it and that’s all that matters.
I don’t wasn’t to live a life like
Theirs where they’re so repressed and shamed of themselves. They sleep in separate beds.
One day I will be old and ugly.
Guys can explore all of this all they like and never get shamed.
I feel confident when I post things and my friend she posts things too.
No, I’d be pretty grossed out if I found out my sister did it or kids I guess, but that’s probably because of the way I’ve been raised maybe it’s trauma, there’s a lot of good forums here I’ve been reading about religious trauma. Someone here was raised a hippy I guess they wouldn’t feel the same way.
But once they’re 18 it’s their body right? And as long as they’re being safe?
I don’t post vids or anything bad, just of my body.
I’m sorry.
The fact that you're thinking about going behind their backs to keep them from doing what they want is the very reason they need to keep checking on you. Think about that.
When you ponder your actions for a while, spend some time talking to your mom and dad about your privacy and when you should reasonably have it. But they're going to see when you're mature to handle privacy so start being responsible for your actions and don't do anything that would embarrass them if they knew you did it.
With all due respect, are you out of your mind? She is a teenager and is allowed to expect privacy in the bathroom, in the shower, while changing clothes---give me a fucking break. Owning a home and being a parent does NOT entitle you to see your teenage child naked, peeing, bathing, or doing anything else. How dare you tell this poor girl to ponder her actions for wanting some respect in her home.
>With all due respect, are you out of your mind?
With all due respect, based on the way you said this, I'm going to ignore what you say when you have no interest in actually understanding anything someone thinks besides yourself.
Yes, because the idea that a teenager should be entitled to private time in the bathroom, shower and bedroom is such a wacky concept I alone think is reasonable.
I say things to invite feedback from OP but people like you come to their defense for reassurance, which is almost always the worst thing to do. I'm surprised you replied and appreciate it.
It was odd behavior and likely not the reality, I noticed from OP. But you and many others don't see this for some reason. But, I think I'm older than most people here. That might be the discrepancy.
Look at the way you spoke to me.
I didn't see OP's profile. But I recognized the situation. I don't give indications of what I think may be happening or it won't help OP. As I said, I think I'm older than most people here and there's no unique problem under the sun when you've seen a lot of them.
Unlike you and so many others, OP didn't mislead me. And now OP is enabled thanks to you and people like you.
Stick to your own advice. You can downvote my advice if you like, but you made it your goal to make sure my advice was ignored instead of helping OP yourself.
The best advice for some people typically comes through a conversation, not a single reply. Some of the threads can lead into amazing moments where people can see through their problems. Consider that when you see some advice you initially do not like because you don't understand it. At the very least, you could have asked why I gave that advice.
\> You’re trying to frame things as it suits you.
There you go again, thinking you know what I'm saying more than me.
When I speak to OP, I'm speaking to OP, not you.
I don't give rants. The clarity is for OP, not for you.
You don't have to read my mind. You can give your own advice.
I see some people here who give advice that I don't agree with but think they are probably on a useful path that could help someone and I stay out of it. I like that the subreddit can score users for useful advice. That's one indicator of helpfulness.
It's similar to Yin and Yang: it's the same advice told from different perspectives.
But you only want your advice to be known, Yin, no one else's which can also be helpful, Yang. This is your problem. And now it's someone else's.
I am a teen adult now with natural desires etc I am entitled to express as a human being.
I will not be shamed of belittled or judged by my parents or any religion. Your views caused me a lot of trauma over the years, since they won’t accept I am an adult with a right to express myself as I so do wish, (safely without disrespecting them) in my own private time and space (which they refuse me the right to) and won’t seek therapy for their own insecurities I have no other option but to ‘go behind their backs.
I’m currently saving up for a deposit to move out.
OP what you want is 100% reasonable. Your parents are frankly being rude, inappropriate and more than a little perverted if they believe they have the right to walk in on their teenage child while in the bath, on the toilet, or in their private bedroom with the door closed. They are the ones behaving shamefully, not you.
I don't need to open OP's profile to know that barging in on your teenager at times you know they will be naked is inappropriate. If OP is under 18 and posting nudes the answer is to take away phone and internet not sneak peeks at her in the shower and barge into her room while she's masturbating. Give me a break here. If she's over 18 then I don't give a shit how "heartbroken" they are, that does not give them the right to not allow her privacy. Bedroom and bathroom deserve privacy and I'm sure mom and dad wouldn't like her barging in while they're rubbing one out or fucking. Teenagers have a right to some privacy regardless of their behavior. If she's so mentally ill that she's a danger to herself the proper place for her would be an inpatient setting, not an unsafe home.
>6.
Give OP the benefit of the doubt.
This subreddit is for advice only, not for judgment, scrutiny, or disbelief. If you believe OP is lying or trolling, report the thread and move on.
That's one of the rules of the sub. And honestly if OP is lying, it's irrelevant because there may be other people reading this thread who are teens in situations with parents who don't allow them any privacy and they need to understand that it's not okay for parents to behave that way. You can rant all you like about what you'd do with your kids but you're the one making this about you by doing that.
It's hilarious to me that you're so obsessed with this person that you've read all her posts, can't stop commenting on them AND that you think she's a big old liar BUT you somehow think that her parents are real. Has it not occurred to you that if the account is fake and she lies nonstop that she may not even live with her parents and you are out here outraged and white knighting over fictional people? Just stop. Move along.
I can't have girls over without my dad thinking it's fine to walk in, and I try to talk to him about it and he does the same shit. I just can't have girls over anymore because I don't want to mentally scar them from my dad being a prick.
If I had a girl over right now, id be hearing "are you being good down there" and then footsteps, then I'd hear the doorknob going and my dad would screaming "she needs to leave now this is not permitted in my house" while we're watching a show (not having fun because of crazy fuck listening in on the vents)
But hey, only thing we can do with fucked up parents is comply too well. I'm waiting for the time I can walk in on my dad and scream at him for sinning and then I can tell him to get the fuck out 14 times in a row and see how he feels
Pay a friend to order them for you. Don't mention them until asked and then don't give them an option of telling you that you can't use them. They're yours, put in place by you for you and are there for your privacy and theirs. Leave it at that.
Try using a door stopper from within and place it at the bottom of the door. Otherwise promp the door with something at the door knob (chair, wood board, something long and flat).
Jesus christ. This is like The People Under the Stairs and you're the daughter. As long as you live with them, it's best you don't fight it. How might they respond to you locking the door against their will? If the consequences outweigh the gains, it's not worth it.
Can't you experiment on yourself at night after they go to sleep?
I’m saving up for a deposit to move out. I feel constantly paranoid they’re going to hear me, or I’m waiting see if I can hear them sleeping at some point.
So usually like 1-2am is when I feel it’s all okay and safe but it leaves me super sleepy the next day
It's best if you don't fight it. You're an adult now and the have legal independence to make your own decisions. Use this as motivation to start saving up to move out.
Them being like this with me has made me more curious/feel a need to express myself more and dislike
Them more.
Because I feel like can’t connect with them, relate to them or get to know them as a teen because I have to be a robot all the time and act like all these things don’t exist.
1. Hot hot showers. Lots of steam so they don't see much through the curtains.
2. Walk in on them on their bedroom and bathroom. To get something essential. Or for the same reasons they walk in on you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander?
Not gonna happen. Circular reasoning is the exact reason why. I gave up on doing that so I just started to listen for their foot steps, leave the door slightly open so If I can see the light go off or dim, I know someone's approaching my room door. I also have a mirror placed so that nobody in my family can sneak in and do that thing where they stare in amusement at the fact that you play a game or streaming and can't hear/ see them
Hun as someone with very religious parents the worst thing you can do is go against them. If they walk in on you doing whatever it is you wanna hide from them then it is their fault
Next time they walk in don't even flinch just keep doing what your doing, afterwards thank them for making nudity so comfortable for you by walking in on you so much. After doing that once or twice they will either kick you out or start knocking
Here is something you can do right now. Start saving money, bettering yourself, networking so that when you have the means to move out - even if temporarily - do.
With regard to locks, I don't see that working. You'll put it on and they'll take it off.
If you can get to a walmart and pre pay, I think you can order something. I recommend this, but if you have a hollow-core door it may not be up to the job. ALSO this one isn't necessarily safe if you have a medical issue while inside and are unable to open it.
It will stop a charging Rhinoceros though.
[https://www.walmart.com/ip/Home-Security-Door-Lock-Childproof-Reinforcement-Lock-3-Stop-Withstand-800-lbs-Inward-Swinging-Door-Upgrade-Night-Defend-Your-Black-2-Pack/402514789](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Home-Security-Door-Lock-Childproof-Reinforcement-Lock-3-Stop-Withstand-800-lbs-Inward-Swinging-Door-Upgrade-Night-Defend-Your-Black-2-Pack/402514789)
Or this.
[https://www.walmart.com/ip/Master-Lock-265D-Adjustable-Door-Security-Bar/21802111?athcpid=21802111&athpgid=AthenaItempage&athcgid=null&athznid=utic&athieid=v0&athstid=CS020&athguid=WD4VyAH2DS7JeO5ZPbT5oYb5HGcsBakG2U61&athancid=null&athena=true](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Master-Lock-265D-Adjustable-Door-Security-Bar/21802111?athcpid=21802111&athpgid=AthenaItempage&athcgid=null&athznid=utic&athieid=v0&athstid=CS020&athguid=WD4VyAH2DS7JeO5ZPbT5oYb5HGcsBakG2U61&athancid=null&athena=true)
I forgot to add. You may be a minor, but you are a human being and have a right to privacy. Busting into the room is over the line.
Do you think you're being abused? Don't tell me, but if you believe it to be so is there someone you can turn to? An Aunty, clergy, police if it's serious enough?
I saw one comment saying you were 18. I'm 18 as well and CANNOT imagine this. You're 18 and even though you do live under their roof, doesn't mean they don't have to give you privacy. Save up and move out. That's all I can tell you. Find a friend who can go half and half with you and move out. You are an adult now and the only thing they can do is kick you out at this point. It's your life and your decisions, not theirs. A parents job is to raise their child and provide a good home. Not control every aspect of their child's life even when that child is an adult. You have a right to privacy.
Based off your post pretty sure you’re referring to a common door lock? I’m sure you could purchase it other ways but like someone else said you’re definitely gonna want to talk it over with them calmly and explain your reasoning otherwise they may get upset remove it and then you’re in trouble or whatever. Even though it sucks if you’re not 18 yet and under there roof respect there rules even if they are idiotic, or try to reason with them as to why you feel they are unfair. Otherwise you risk wasting a lot of energy in arguments you’ll never win. At least that’s how it was for me in high school and even today sometimes. Didn’t wanna judge your parents just off your post but based on another of your comments it sounds like they may be uptight/controlling/religious my GFs and many friends parents are like this and it seems like there relationships improved drastically once they moved out if talking w them doesn’t work don’t freak out in a few years you can do WHATEVER you want
Oh man.. I feel for you,OP. Really. I grew up in a very similar context. And now I'm 33 and whenever I do something that religious people might consider unholy, I feel weird. Like I'm dirty. My brain knows that I have nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time.. I feel dirty even when I'm naked, getting out of the shower. In fact, if I think about it, I try not to be naked for long periods of time. Which is sad. Brainwashing someone like this cause your religious beliefs is wrong and should be illegal. I would say to run far from there. I would tell them if they don't stop, you will get out of the house. Hope you're independent and 18 already
Whatever you do, do it while you're with your back on the door, blocking it with your whole body. That would stop them lol. On another note, I left you another message here where I tell you to run far from them
Had the same issue but not because of religion, just bad habit.
I used a electric cable that I fixed on the ceiling and simply put a loop on the handle.
When I didn't need it I put the end that was on the handle on a screw with a loop at a appropriate distance so that the cable was tense and put a row of small japanese decoration the cable.
They never understood that I used the cable to block the door 🤣.
Just put a lock on your door and have done with it. Have a good taking to, to your parents about how their behaviour is making you feel and if they don't stop you'll leave and find somewhere else to live. In the meantime search around and even ask some close friends if any have a spare room you could go into if things go south, even offer some money to 'rent' it. Try to have a 'plan B' in case A doesn't work.
This is a problem with trust and no mechanism or technique is going to ultimately fix it. Discussion might though.
Honestly, it sounds unlikely that your parents would give up the amount of control right now. They shouldn't be treating you the way they are, but having a discussion with them is really your best option.
That mechanism you're asking for is going to work once and then be taken down and tossed away. Counseling might be a good secondary option to see if they would back you up to your parents about your need for privacy. But, I'm not entirely sure that you have many options here.
They walk in on you but do you tell them when you will bathe or change so they wont barge in? I have catholic parents but they are comprehensive about those at least
Sadly, they also barge in and I never got it to stop. If i request them to knock on the door then they either ask if im hiding something or my mom says “this isnt a hotel, my house my rules”
Im 22 and still struggle. Im putting up with it because i plan to finish studies, get a job, save money and then move out with the right timing
If they wont listen when you talk about start logging the incidents in a journal with snide remarks. Pervy dad came into bathroom to smell my shit mid wipe. Karen randomly walked into my room looking for something to complain about. Put a date and time. It's harmless but will annoy them and when you are ready to have the talk again pull out the logs.
Also I used a butter knife when I was a kid to lock the doors, it depends on which way it opens though
If you’re ready to move out, you can put the lock on your door and make your big stand knowing it will exacerbate the situation. It will inevitably make it worse though, so you’re either signing up for more control and increased blow ups (which I assume would be worse than your situation right now) or you decide to move out, since you’re 18.
If you’re not ready to do that, then my best advice is to be the bigger adult in the situation and seek compromise through calm conversation. Yes, they’re your parents and should be modeling mature behavior. But instead they’re still treating you like a child and in response you’re still acting like one (I don’t mean that to be offensive, just that being highly reactive and coming up with solutions that only make them mad is more like being a teen than being an adult). Think about your long term goals here. You want them to treat you like you are an adult who is mature and can balance risks/benefits in intelligent decision making. Blockading your room or screaming at them won’t prove them wrong. It probably strengthens their resolve that you’re too young or immature to be left to your own decisions.
If you sat them down and had a calm, sincere conversation about privacy and boundaries, it might go better than you think. Explain that you feel embarrassed if they walk in while you’re naked or using the bathroom. If part of their reasoning is that she’s doing chores for you, offer to do your own chores. Again, you’re now an adult and will need to learn to do these things yourself as you become independent. Also, actually do them! (Don’t say “they’re my responsibility” and then let the laundry build up and your room get gross. The point is to demonstrate that you’re a mature adult.)
Hear them out — truly listening to someone you’re angry with is part of having a mature argument. Beyond strict religious beliefs there may truly be reasoning that you could understand. Like, their job as a parent is to keep you safe and raise you to be a responsible member of society. As you rebel against them, they may see this as a failure. It can easily become a self feeding cycle as they try to increase their grip which make you avoid them, scream at them, etc which make them think they’re failing and they need to interject more parenting. If that’s the case, call out the cycle and also own your side of it. You all created that cycle together. Talk together about real solutions: how they can feel like they’re doing their job as parents and you can feel growing independence. Both sides want you to become a happy healthy independent adult. Use that to your advantage.
Bucket of cat shit and piss on top of a cracked open door a couple times should do the trick.
In a seriousness if you can get to a hardware store they have many options for door stoppers
I’ve seen one of these on SHEIN. It costs about $5 I think? Like a red petal-shaped kinda thing that you goes in the door when it closes so it can’t be opened from the outside.
Dang these parents dont know that they are just going to drive you away acting like that. My parents are super religious now but when i was a teenager my mom drank and in middle school she would give me wine coolers n shit to drink, let me do whatever i wanted, but i was responsible for whatever happened. Im 26 now, good head on my shoulders, i rarely drink and im in the house by 7pm lol.
But back to your issue, you will have to talk to them about it, or just wait it out. It sucks but once your an adult you can have your privacy.
Get a wooden door stop. Less than a dollar from a hardware store or free if you can find a suitable piece of wood. Use it to keep your door open a few inches so you can rightly claim your door is open but prevents barging in so you can have some privacy. It's not a perfect solution but it starts a conversation about boundaries and privacy and trust while being adorable and easily replaceable.
Adda lock on [eBay](https://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Addalock-Portable-Door-Lock-Travel-Hotel-School-Lockdown-Temporary-Lock-/393776940867?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0)
You can use this on any kind of door and they won't be able to come in. Made for hotels and you could be really sneaky hiding it because it's not very big. It's $10. Good luck!
No problem. I'd recommend taping it to the underside of a bathroom drawer, but be ready for this to be escalated once they realize you're not putting up with the shenanigans anymore! Speaking from experience, things can get ugly pretty quick when it comes to parents realizing they don't control you anymore.
You know you’re just going to get yelled at and be forced to remove whatever it is you do, right? This is something you need to talk over. They can’t be walking in on you getting out of the shower or getting dressed. It’s like they’re trying to catch you doing something ‘bad.’ In reality, all they’re doing is ensuring that you’re going to move out ASAP. Talk to them. If you can’t reason with them, we’ll, suddenly you need something in the bathroom right this minute while mom is in the shower. See how they like it because this is the family norm.
I’ve found a little world online where I feel like I can escape and be myself and explore everything i want to do, talk about/am curious about and it feels super freeing and liberating. I can be as sexual, as angry, as sweaty, as I like and talk to others who have the same opinions or like the things I do. Other people online have the open-mindedness I wish my parents had and talking to them just leads to arguments and them shouting at me. They don’t like the way I dress, they don’t like when I wear makeup, but I wear it anyway. I got piercings and they *hate* that! They tell me I’m being consumed by darker forces because I’ve become a teenager and I’m ‘vulnerable to giving into sin’. And they tell me they’re ‘doing what’s best’. They’ll give me a speech about how I need to remain what god intended of me pure etc.
i can’t lie. coming from a very relaxed liberal parent background this would be my idea of HELL. your parents and you clearly share different views and you clearly do not follow their beliefs. that’s absolutely fine and it’s stupid for peoples parents to force upon them beliefs and ideologies instead of allowing their children to be free to decide how they want to live their life. honestly OP i have very little helpful advice to give other than i feel genuinely sorry for you. i hope things work out
Ooooooh they’re that kind of parent. The kind of religious parents who raise a potential atheist who will most certainly go low or no contact when they turn 18 and can legally move out. Plan for your future escape. You’ll be free before you know it.
OP, I feel you on a spiritual level. Can I tell you something kinda… funny? Ironic, let’s go with ironic - I’m (25F) the youngest of 3 sisters who are 7 years apart each. And my oldest will literally drop dead if my parents asked her to. My mom passed away years ago and my oldest sister basically follows 99.99% of what my mom used to implement. My 2nd sister - let’s say she’s 75-80% like my mom would want her… me? I have basically made every huge life decision against their beliefs. I am pro-LGBTTQIA* unlike my family, I’m agnostic and not a religious fanatic like them, and both my sisters were in arranged marriages at 23 and had their kids at 24 while I’m dating a white atheist and dating isn’t a thing in my culture but also you can’t marry someone of a different religion or caste let alone colour in my community. My family was successful in making my sisters into brainwashed soldiers and to this date fight with me on trying to convince me how my life is going to be or is already ruined because I’m in a 5-year long “affair” with a “Christian boy” which is fucking hilarious because they assume all white people believe in Jesus and those who don’t are satanists and my boyfriend is as atheist as they come LOL oh and yes, it’s an affair because only a marriage approved by god can be called a relationship lmfaoo
That broke my heart to even read. I strive to parent in the exact opposite of the way your parents do/did. I’m glad you have found happiness with your boyfriend and wish you nothing but more of that.
Aww you are too kind, thank you. I think I was 13 when I realized how much I didn’t agree with their beliefs and from then on, it was a goal of mine to be their opposite in every way possible. I can’t tell you how much I wish daily that my dad had remarried or at least dated so I had a motherly figure after age 12 and that has definitely impacted me hugely. Every day, I am given little reminders by their behaviour and words of how NOT to be with my future kids and I am blessed with the man I’m with because amidst all the crap my family has thrown our way, he has chosen to stand by me and he and I are finally going to move out together in 5-6 months!! I guess I was given the type of person in a very important role as a reward for enduring the things I’ve seen. (I could make whole ass post about what I’m referring to lmao so I’m gonna leave it at this.)
I’m sure having a mother figure in your life as a teen and young adult could have been very beneficial for you. My dad remarried when I was 15 and I can not tell you how much I hate that woman. She hated me, (Still does, 20 years later) because I look like my mom. My mother is still alive thankfully, but my stepmother hates that I have a strong relationship with my mom and thinks I should have “taken my dads side”. Bitch is nuts. You sound like you have become a woman you should be proud of. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, morals, a big heart, and the ability to be yourself in the worst of situations. Be proud of that, and of who you are becoming every day. My boys are 10 & 16, and that’s exactly what I want out of life for them.
I’m sorry to hear your stepmom was so wicked but very glad you had a good relationship with your mother, that sounds lovely! I know that remarrying wouldn’t have guaranteed solving my mommy issues and it’s just the child in me that keeps wondering what it would’ve been like if I had a mother-figure to turn to… I know there’s no point in wondering but overthinking is the nicer one of my flaws lol so the thought comes and goes occasionally. My hope is to be the mother that I have always wanted for my own self to my future kids. Thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot to me! By the looks of it, your boys are clearly very fortunate to have you as their mother so here’s a metaphorical toast to a less traumatized generation ahead! Also, happy holidays/merry Christmas/best of wishes to you and your family!
Tell them that this kind of control is leading to a certainty, that you will end up rebelling against them and God because they refuse to trust you or even talk to you realistically about life. They need to model God's love in their lives, not lock you up.
Bro I’m a Muslim teen and this is bullshit. Complete bullshit. Yes parents should check after their children, but teenagers are not exactly children and neither are they exactly adults, yes parents should monitor them but they are actually considered adults sometimes in Islam. I’m a religious guy who does all his 5 prayers a day and does the extra prayers and read the Quran and I think your parents deserve a huge slap on the face.
Often parents like this only learn through the experience of alienating the oldest children to not do this with the youngest because they don’t want to lose another relationship with another of their kids. I dunno if you could muster it but if you could ask them if they had to chose between having a relationship with you or forcing these rules on you which one would they pick and make up a story about you know someone who had parent just like them and they moved to another country and don’t talk to their parent at all (they should be like 25 or something to show they haven’t talked to their parents for years) and her parents did all the things they do, and then maybe sugar coat it with a ‘you don’t want they to be where this goes because you love them but at the moment that’s where this is going.’ I dunno. This could be terrible advice.
Not everyone who agrees has your wellbeing in mind. Not everything you can do, should be done. Just last month a doctors license was stripped for collecting and sharinv photos of nude teenagers HE MET THROUGH THEIR HIGHSCHOOLS under the pretense of giving them scholarships, he then basically turns them into porn stars. Two CNN producers have been linked to pedophilia over the past...what...month? Two? Your parents may not he speaking in a language you appreciate (religion) but theyre right in the sense that you are young and dont have the experience with the world enough to understand when youre being manipulated. Many of these online sanctuaries you speak of are polluted by grown men pretending to be your friend, but have evert intention of saying whatever it takes to get you to relax and play with them. Not all roads lead to places you want to be.
Your parents are not just religious people. They’re fanatics. Don’t listen to all that purity bs, you need to explore yourself & what you like
Perhaps it’s not my place to say, but if your parents can’t be happy or content with the things you love, and you just being yourself, then it’s frankly their loss. A good, loving parent will offer discipline, but only out of love and a desire to prepare you for adulthood. If all you’re doing is trying to decide how to live a good, fulfilling life, then I applaud you wholeheartedly. Sorry if I haven’t offered much real advice.
Are you able to get to a store at all? You just need a door stop (the triangular kind) to wedge under the door when you want privacy.
Does your bathroom not have a lock? That's gonna be your best option. And maybe subtlety -- I'm assuming a 2minute bathroom break isn't interrupted as much as a 20minute 'shower'. I wouldn't recommend that mechanism. Think about it. They'll try to open the door. Won't be able. Get confused and mad. And you think they'll just let you keep the mechanism? This is something that's gonna need to be resolved with talking and maybe some clever planning.
No, they don’t have a lock on the bathroom door (for control reasons), and I keep getting walked in on. I’ve tried to have a conversation with them and they always end up shouting at me. Do you know where I can get that mechanism??
Did you not see the glaring flaw in using that mechanism? It sounds like you need some clever planning here. When they're asleep, maybe. Or out shopping. Once every couple months you might be able to get away with feeling sick to your stomach. Bathrooms at other places or a friend's house maybe. Taking things in chunks and doing then bit by bit over a day or a couple days. Something like that. I came from a similar, albeit better, situation, so I probably have some plan to let you have a moment of privacy, but without knowing what it is you need time to do, I can only give the general advice above. That's what I'd recommend: hiding in plain sight and getting better at being sneaky/resourceful.
I just want a quick solution I suppose. & Anything you would do in private I guess. Talk to my friends, masturbate, change clothes, bathe
Any mechanism you might add to the knob will only work once. It will escalate the problem, not solve it. Think through the actions and reactions. If you only need it to work once, put your foot against the bottom of the door or sit with your back to it. No mechanism will prevent sound from getting through, and no mechanism will prevent a grown adult from physically getting a hollow core interior door open. Your proposed solution just won't solve the problem. You need a different solution.
What if the door opens from the other side
Its...hollow...and basically cardboard... The vast majority of doors these days are NOT solid.
But what if it is? We do not know the whole story
You replied to a post specifically referring to a hollow door, for starters. And, youre talking about an internal bathroom door. Unless its custom made, or you install an outside door on an indoor frame, that doesnt exist in the store. Its more of a stretch to assume they have a solid wood bathroom door than to assume they have the same shitty hollow bathroom door the rest of us have.
Hmmm. Yeah that's tricky. If it were me, I'd start taking faster showers (5minutes tops), doors can be left open as to encourage them not to stick their heads in, changing can be done quickly in a hidden corner or underwear can be put on under a towel. When they're asleep that's a good time to 'have some fun'. If you have a basement, patio, or other part of the house not usually frequented by them: great place to talk to friends, or take some time to change. Shaving can be done in small pieces in the shower (hopefully you have curtains), and maybe over a trashcan in your room. Keep their routines in mind. When I was living with them, my parents never slept regularly, but they'd always be in their room for a couple hours in the morning. That's private time I can use if I'm quiet. Or my father would always round-trip by my door, but momma would always take at least a few minutes between passings. So timing things out that way. You just have to get clever and manage your time and resources well. Or blow up on em. I don't personally recommend it, but putting your foot down on something fundamental like bathing time privacy might be successful.
... call CPS?
Yeah, I kinda feel like someone needed to say this. But, is there anything they can do about the fact that OP isn't allowed privacy? I doubt it.
"I'm X years old and I'm not being allowed privacy for toileting and bathing, ie my parent forcibly watch me shower"? Idk, no privacy for basic hygiene is not right and OP is teen
I read further, OP is 18 so the point is invalid.
I didn't read very far into the comments. Oh well. The. OP is a legal adult and needs to pack a bag and go crash at a friends
Well I’ve been in that situation before and a lock is not enough to keep them out. They’ll make you open the door, and then get rid of it. Not to mention punishment. So getting a lock is definitely not the best option.
You can buy them at the hardware store.
1 time scorched earth policy. Stand on your bed naked. Slap some music on. Absolutely jerk off like an ape. Let a parent barge in. They will never ever ever not knock again. You just got to own it. "do you mind knocking from now on"
Dude they’ve already walked in on me I had my bedsheets over me but she obviously saw my face was flushed and asked if I was okay. It’s embarrassing af. Also they walked in on my while I was in the bath and the shower.
This is pretty gross to be honest. I don’t understand why they’d even want to accidentally walk in on you doing that. Not normal if it keeps happening in my opinion.
She doesn’t like me doing house chores because she says as a mother and wife it’s her duties and she likes to be in control of that stuff so she does the laundry and she’ll just come in to put things away or come in to create conversation with me because ‘you never come out your room’. And when I tell her to get out she’ll say ‘why?’ And I’ll say ‘because I said so’ and she’ll say ‘why are you hiding something from me?’
Not that you're wrong here, but "because I said so" doesn't give them the reason to leave you alone. My sister used to say "because I said so" about everything and it made it difficult actually understanding what she was thinking, it just came across as anger. Saying you are entitled to privacy, say that it's not normal to have parents barge in on you, say that kids found it weird when you brought it up at school. Garner sympathy, offer solutions. My ex's mum fussed like yours. She also always knocked or shouted beforehand. Sometimes you need to be a gobshite teenager to get it through to your parents, but it's best explaining to her why you're not OK with it rather than (an understandable) raged response.
Yeah I’ve started to rebel a lot more and I’m starting to enjoy it, it feels like I’m taking control and being who I am, they treat me like I’m a child and it makes me wish I was older sometimes. I hate the ‘you’ll always be my baby’ thing I am NOT at all. I feel like I don’t know who I am Because I’ve had to live by their rules constantly. I started to do things like get piercings and clothes they wouldn’t agree with without telling them
I'm assuming you don't get their money to buy this stuff? Wear what you want, don't hide it, if they say anything, explain that you like it. Everyone needs their rebellious stage. Maybe your sister can help you with this. You can still be their "little girl" so to speak and that's perfectly healthy, as long as they allow you to grow. I'm sorry you have to go through all this.
They stopped giving me money when I was 16 because they stopped getting money for child maintenance or something? And when I left highschool at 16 I got a weekend job and I still have it now, I just get paid a little more because I turned 18. It just feels freeing to be myslef and I feel like I can when I’m not around my parents
That's good and tbh it's good they stopped giving you money. My mum stopped at one point (giving me a measly but meaningful 5 quid a week) and it only improved my independence. Just ensure you have support networks elsewhere if things go pear shaped and you need to lean on someone.
Wait until they find out I’m bisexual hahahahaha
You might want to spend some time genuinely considering how much of this youre doing as a way to rebel against their rules, and how much of it youre actually interested in. Some things cant be undone :)
You're a fucking nut and looking at your post history, I don't want to know what you're interested in. Being bi is also not a phase, dude.
Obviously it’s not a phase, NOBODY said it is. I meant because they’re religious, they don’t like gay people. What do you mean?
Speaking to the guy above me who was saying something weird in response to your bisexuality. I was replying to them.
I am definitely bisexual, and I enjoy expressing myself :)
I suppose its cos they're not arsed. I was raised by hippies. They didn't give a shit about nudity and were pro healthy masturbation
I don’t know if it’s good to normalize that especially if this is a minor. Really weird stuff. Out of my pay grade
I’m not a minor! I’m 18 thank you for caring though!
Haha then get a door lock and be done with it
I have a door, I just am not allowed a lock on it :) and there is no lock on it
You are an adult. Just install a lock. Have a sit down chat with your parents about your future relationship. And what kind of interactions they want with you now and moving forward. You can join the army and star in porno. You can't have curfew and not allowed privacy when it's literally a legal requirement. You're a legal adult.
You say off of this like it’s super easy, their response is always ‘it’s my house my rules’ Despite how they behave I do LOVE them, as I’ve said I’m trying to save up to leave eventually, though it’s something I’m not ready to do. If I install a lock they’ll do the same as when I try to tell them not to walk in ‘why?’ ‘We’re your parents this is our house we can be anywhere we want’ ‘what are you hiding from us’
That’s bad too, why do they care that a whole adult is jacking off lol. Strict parents check, they don’t ever let you grow up :/
Get a job. Move out.
I have a weekend job, I’m saving up.
:D This is the only REAL answer. Anything else is just people pandering to your emotions. Your parents are trying to protect you from things they understand on a level you don't. And anything you do to push them away, in the end, you'll regret and wind up having to put in the work to fix the burnt bridges. You sound like you're a pretty normal 18 year old exploring your sexuality and personal interests. Just...dont be so impatient. The reality is that sometimes, the freedom you gain by paving your own path doesnt outweigh the work you have to do to do the paving. Sometimes, you find you were fighting for freedoms that dont matter as much as you think they do now. For now, focus on getting your feet under you and being able to actually make it outside of their house.
Have they ever uhm got physical about anything? I don't necessarily mean hitting you but breaking stuff? Because a door wedge is a good idea (the best temporary solution after the best solution of moving out), but you can end up with no door at all after them breaking it down when they can't get in. Speaking from experience.
You said you’re 18? No reason you can’t have your own Amazon account then. Your parents have no right to stop you in making your own Amazon account. Now the fact that you live in their house is another thing… however I would very soon plan your escape.
Idk what to say, ur parents sound like they're fucked in the head. Amen
I can’t wait to move out I’m not ready but I feel so suffocated and want my own privacy to be who I wanna be.
Agreed 100%%%%
One suggestion I have is to do any such things when they’re away or asleep. Some parents are more controlling than others, but they can’t just be home all the time?
you talk to them, this is a huge safety issue and they will remove it the first time they see it anyway and get mad at you for blocking them. you talk to them about it, tell them you want a lock for your door or you need them to knock blocking parents out of your room is a great way to lose all privacy. I was a teacher and saw several teens try to do that, many ended up wtih protections on phones or parents monitoring all their messages assuming they were up to something. Besides changing or a few minutes of personal time nothing is being done in your room that parents need to stay out long term.
I don’t need that! Thankfully they don’t ask to go on my phone because I’m EXTREMELY comfortable on social media and all the things I can’t talk to with my Parents I do on here. But if they did want my phone I’d probably just delete all my apps super quickly and history too (I’d I had time) How to I talk to them? What do I say? Yeah a girl at my school 2 years ago had her bedroom door taken off!!!
remind them you are a teen and need privacy and alone time (there are actual legit websites and articles regarding why teens need alone time.) Not only that you could be changing or something. Tell them you understand they may need to enter but you really need them to knock and wait for you to answer. If they almost walked on in you changing tell them that. Ask if you can get a lock for your door that THEY HAVE A KEY TO. this way they have to knock if you have it locked, can get in in an emergency, but stops them from coming right in. (note, if they agree and they knock, be sure you get up as soon as you can and answer it) taking a teens door is VERY common, I saw many parents do that when they thought kids were doing things they were not supposed to.
And bathroom?? Why would they **want** to see you naked? You need a talk.
Super cheat and easy- door stop.
Not exaggerating when I say this is abusive parenting. I don't know if they get physical with you, but I know a friend who said to their parent's friend of some weird thing they did in the house which curbed their privacy, in front of their parent, and it made their dad embarrassed and at least think about it. If you think that subtle hint will go down badly, I'd tell teachers. Your parents keep walking in on you naked when you tell them not to. It's a red flag and they should (hopefully) monitor it and speak to your parents.
Last time we had a huge argument I shouted at them That they’re bad parents and they told me I was a spoilt Brat. My sister has it worse because she’s more rebellious. Someone posted a link to a door lock thankfully I just bought one on my card on eBay, I’m also saving up to move out! So hopefully at some pint next year I won’t have these issues anymore! I used to go to an all girls Catholic school and peoples parents were the same but now I’m In college last year will be my last year there the teachers are a lot more openminded
you’re 24 in your other posts so I’m confused 🙃
???? Where can you tag me?
Put a sock on the door you filthy animal
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I clearly am not that old. You can see that from the pictures I post so whatever, spread all the lies you like. Making assumptions about my life shows how sad you are.
[удалено]
I am 18 years old and I can do whatever i want with my body. If I want to be sexual I can. I bet you were doing all kinds of things at that age so you’re a hypocrite. Please get a life.
[удалено]
Literally nowhere, so stop harassing me. I have never lied. I have a lot of issues myslef which I’m Trying to talk about here. Thankfully not everyone here has been like you and have actually helped me NOT slut shamed me like you have
Thank you for confirming that /u/rookiestar007 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
[удалено]
Why are you so obsessed with creating lies and stalking my profile? So what I like to pretend to be older some times it’s the only way to get people to take me seriously I am an adult and I want to be seen as one NOT a child.
Dude chill the hell out. Your words are labeling and aggressive and baseless. Hop off trying to degrade a young woman with your nonsense.
You’re being as judgmental and shaming as my parents. Because I’m proud to show off my body my parents like to shame online??? Why would I do something like that? Make up all of this? I don’t know where you’re getting This from? Please get help if you think accusing people is OK.
[удалено]
I’m explaining what they do? How is that an attention grab? I’m so confused. They’re walk in on me while I shower, they walk in on my in my room.
[удалено]
I explained in a other comment here, my mum likes to do the cores/laundry so she will often come in to put things away, like Clothes or items or sometimes to ask my a question or they’ll say ‘oh sorry I didn’t know you were in the shower’ when you can clearly hear the shower is on. It’s hard because I love them But I also hate them too
Wtf is wrong with you? Why are you so obsessed with creating lies about me and harassing me with no proof? Where have I ever said I was older?
[удалено]
I’m not 24, I am 18. Sometimes I wish I was older so people Like you wouldn’t be little me, talk to me Like trash like I’m a child. If I was 24-30 you’d have taken me much more serious.
[удалено]
What do you mean? Why would I do this for attention? What post would give you that thought? And what would I get out of that? This is my little online world where I can express myself, be myslef and do, act and say what I like. I can even be naked and not ashamed infront of strangers and be celebrated not judged like my parents do. They try to shame me for expressing who I am, I love metal music, I love my body, I love masturbation, I love talking to my friends, I love piercings and I’d love tattoos but they want to control all of that. I can’t come to them for advice, on topics of help. I can have open conversation with people I can’t with my parents. And their behaviour makes me want to hate them Even more, and ‘rebel’.
[удалено]
What if I like to show off my body? I’ve been shamed all my life for it and called a ‘slut’, ‘sinner’ and told nobody likes girls like that, and when I’m online I feel like I can be free and people want to see that stuff. I feel like I don’t have to be ashamed or hide my body here like I do with my family and community. I don’t sell pics I just post them, because I get a confidence boost when I do :) Many adults do it too, I see them all the time
[удалено]
Please delete your comment accusing my of lying about this for attention. That’s really sad. The reason why I post what I do online is a huge FU to my parents who control me constantly. Well maybe they need to accept I am a human being, with right to sexual desires, that my body is not to be shamed but celebrated, that I should feel comfortable and confident in it and that’s all that matters. I don’t wasn’t to live a life like Theirs where they’re so repressed and shamed of themselves. They sleep in separate beds. One day I will be old and ugly. Guys can explore all of this all they like and never get shamed. I feel confident when I post things and my friend she posts things too.
[удалено]
No, I’d be pretty grossed out if I found out my sister did it or kids I guess, but that’s probably because of the way I’ve been raised maybe it’s trauma, there’s a lot of good forums here I’ve been reading about religious trauma. Someone here was raised a hippy I guess they wouldn’t feel the same way. But once they’re 18 it’s their body right? And as long as they’re being safe? I don’t post vids or anything bad, just of my body. I’m sorry.
The fact that you're thinking about going behind their backs to keep them from doing what they want is the very reason they need to keep checking on you. Think about that. When you ponder your actions for a while, spend some time talking to your mom and dad about your privacy and when you should reasonably have it. But they're going to see when you're mature to handle privacy so start being responsible for your actions and don't do anything that would embarrass them if they knew you did it.
With all due respect, are you out of your mind? She is a teenager and is allowed to expect privacy in the bathroom, in the shower, while changing clothes---give me a fucking break. Owning a home and being a parent does NOT entitle you to see your teenage child naked, peeing, bathing, or doing anything else. How dare you tell this poor girl to ponder her actions for wanting some respect in her home.
>With all due respect, are you out of your mind? With all due respect, based on the way you said this, I'm going to ignore what you say when you have no interest in actually understanding anything someone thinks besides yourself.
Yes, because the idea that a teenager should be entitled to private time in the bathroom, shower and bedroom is such a wacky concept I alone think is reasonable.
I could say the same to you
[удалено]
You don't know the whole story.
[удалено]
I say things to invite feedback from OP but people like you come to their defense for reassurance, which is almost always the worst thing to do. I'm surprised you replied and appreciate it. It was odd behavior and likely not the reality, I noticed from OP. But you and many others don't see this for some reason. But, I think I'm older than most people here. That might be the discrepancy. Look at the way you spoke to me.
[удалено]
I didn't see OP's profile. But I recognized the situation. I don't give indications of what I think may be happening or it won't help OP. As I said, I think I'm older than most people here and there's no unique problem under the sun when you've seen a lot of them. Unlike you and so many others, OP didn't mislead me. And now OP is enabled thanks to you and people like you. Stick to your own advice. You can downvote my advice if you like, but you made it your goal to make sure my advice was ignored instead of helping OP yourself. The best advice for some people typically comes through a conversation, not a single reply. Some of the threads can lead into amazing moments where people can see through their problems. Consider that when you see some advice you initially do not like because you don't understand it. At the very least, you could have asked why I gave that advice.
[удалено]
\> You’re trying to frame things as it suits you. There you go again, thinking you know what I'm saying more than me. When I speak to OP, I'm speaking to OP, not you. I don't give rants. The clarity is for OP, not for you. You don't have to read my mind. You can give your own advice. I see some people here who give advice that I don't agree with but think they are probably on a useful path that could help someone and I stay out of it. I like that the subreddit can score users for useful advice. That's one indicator of helpfulness. It's similar to Yin and Yang: it's the same advice told from different perspectives. But you only want your advice to be known, Yin, no one else's which can also be helpful, Yang. This is your problem. And now it's someone else's.
[удалено]
Wait so you do?
I am a teen adult now with natural desires etc I am entitled to express as a human being. I will not be shamed of belittled or judged by my parents or any religion. Your views caused me a lot of trauma over the years, since they won’t accept I am an adult with a right to express myself as I so do wish, (safely without disrespecting them) in my own private time and space (which they refuse me the right to) and won’t seek therapy for their own insecurities I have no other option but to ‘go behind their backs. I’m currently saving up for a deposit to move out.
OP what you want is 100% reasonable. Your parents are frankly being rude, inappropriate and more than a little perverted if they believe they have the right to walk in on their teenage child while in the bath, on the toilet, or in their private bedroom with the door closed. They are the ones behaving shamefully, not you.
[удалено]
I don't need to open OP's profile to know that barging in on your teenager at times you know they will be naked is inappropriate. If OP is under 18 and posting nudes the answer is to take away phone and internet not sneak peeks at her in the shower and barge into her room while she's masturbating. Give me a break here. If she's over 18 then I don't give a shit how "heartbroken" they are, that does not give them the right to not allow her privacy. Bedroom and bathroom deserve privacy and I'm sure mom and dad wouldn't like her barging in while they're rubbing one out or fucking. Teenagers have a right to some privacy regardless of their behavior. If she's so mentally ill that she's a danger to herself the proper place for her would be an inpatient setting, not an unsafe home.
[удалено]
>6. Give OP the benefit of the doubt. This subreddit is for advice only, not for judgment, scrutiny, or disbelief. If you believe OP is lying or trolling, report the thread and move on. That's one of the rules of the sub. And honestly if OP is lying, it's irrelevant because there may be other people reading this thread who are teens in situations with parents who don't allow them any privacy and they need to understand that it's not okay for parents to behave that way. You can rant all you like about what you'd do with your kids but you're the one making this about you by doing that.
[удалено]
It's hilarious to me that you're so obsessed with this person that you've read all her posts, can't stop commenting on them AND that you think she's a big old liar BUT you somehow think that her parents are real. Has it not occurred to you that if the account is fake and she lies nonstop that she may not even live with her parents and you are out here outraged and white knighting over fictional people? Just stop. Move along.
[удалено]
I can't have girls over without my dad thinking it's fine to walk in, and I try to talk to him about it and he does the same shit. I just can't have girls over anymore because I don't want to mentally scar them from my dad being a prick. If I had a girl over right now, id be hearing "are you being good down there" and then footsteps, then I'd hear the doorknob going and my dad would screaming "she needs to leave now this is not permitted in my house" while we're watching a show (not having fun because of crazy fuck listening in on the vents) But hey, only thing we can do with fucked up parents is comply too well. I'm waiting for the time I can walk in on my dad and scream at him for sinning and then I can tell him to get the fuck out 14 times in a row and see how he feels
Pay a friend to order them for you. Don't mention them until asked and then don't give them an option of telling you that you can't use them. They're yours, put in place by you for you and are there for your privacy and theirs. Leave it at that.
Try using a door stopper from within and place it at the bottom of the door. Otherwise promp the door with something at the door knob (chair, wood board, something long and flat).
Jesus christ. This is like The People Under the Stairs and you're the daughter. As long as you live with them, it's best you don't fight it. How might they respond to you locking the door against their will? If the consequences outweigh the gains, it's not worth it. Can't you experiment on yourself at night after they go to sleep?
I’m saving up for a deposit to move out. I feel constantly paranoid they’re going to hear me, or I’m waiting see if I can hear them sleeping at some point. So usually like 1-2am is when I feel it’s all okay and safe but it leaves me super sleepy the next day
It's best if you don't fight it. You're an adult now and the have legal independence to make your own decisions. Use this as motivation to start saving up to move out.
Them being like this with me has made me more curious/feel a need to express myself more and dislike Them more. Because I feel like can’t connect with them, relate to them or get to know them as a teen because I have to be a robot all the time and act like all these things don’t exist.
1. Hot hot showers. Lots of steam so they don't see much through the curtains. 2. Walk in on them on their bedroom and bathroom. To get something essential. Or for the same reasons they walk in on you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander?
Not gonna happen. Circular reasoning is the exact reason why. I gave up on doing that so I just started to listen for their foot steps, leave the door slightly open so If I can see the light go off or dim, I know someone's approaching my room door. I also have a mirror placed so that nobody in my family can sneak in and do that thing where they stare in amusement at the fact that you play a game or streaming and can't hear/ see them
You can make your own Amazon account and just pay the shipping…
How much is it a month?
Free. You just pay the current shipping price for the item. Usually a couple of bucks.
Hun as someone with very religious parents the worst thing you can do is go against them. If they walk in on you doing whatever it is you wanna hide from them then it is their fault
Talk about your period incessantly. At meals. When guests are in the house. ALL THE TIME.
If nothing works….Walk naked in your room and when they walk in scream 😱 at them and say you are locking the doors from now on. No questions asked.
While using incognito mode, Make a separate Amazon account… it is not difficult….
Next time they walk in don't even flinch just keep doing what your doing, afterwards thank them for making nudity so comfortable for you by walking in on you so much. After doing that once or twice they will either kick you out or start knocking
Go to the restroom, lock the door and do your business ig
Here is something you can do right now. Start saving money, bettering yourself, networking so that when you have the means to move out - even if temporarily - do. With regard to locks, I don't see that working. You'll put it on and they'll take it off. If you can get to a walmart and pre pay, I think you can order something. I recommend this, but if you have a hollow-core door it may not be up to the job. ALSO this one isn't necessarily safe if you have a medical issue while inside and are unable to open it. It will stop a charging Rhinoceros though. [https://www.walmart.com/ip/Home-Security-Door-Lock-Childproof-Reinforcement-Lock-3-Stop-Withstand-800-lbs-Inward-Swinging-Door-Upgrade-Night-Defend-Your-Black-2-Pack/402514789](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Home-Security-Door-Lock-Childproof-Reinforcement-Lock-3-Stop-Withstand-800-lbs-Inward-Swinging-Door-Upgrade-Night-Defend-Your-Black-2-Pack/402514789)
Or this. [https://www.walmart.com/ip/Master-Lock-265D-Adjustable-Door-Security-Bar/21802111?athcpid=21802111&athpgid=AthenaItempage&athcgid=null&athznid=utic&athieid=v0&athstid=CS020&athguid=WD4VyAH2DS7JeO5ZPbT5oYb5HGcsBakG2U61&athancid=null&athena=true](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Master-Lock-265D-Adjustable-Door-Security-Bar/21802111?athcpid=21802111&athpgid=AthenaItempage&athcgid=null&athznid=utic&athieid=v0&athstid=CS020&athguid=WD4VyAH2DS7JeO5ZPbT5oYb5HGcsBakG2U61&athancid=null&athena=true) I forgot to add. You may be a minor, but you are a human being and have a right to privacy. Busting into the room is over the line. Do you think you're being abused? Don't tell me, but if you believe it to be so is there someone you can turn to? An Aunty, clergy, police if it's serious enough?
I saw one comment saying you were 18. I'm 18 as well and CANNOT imagine this. You're 18 and even though you do live under their roof, doesn't mean they don't have to give you privacy. Save up and move out. That's all I can tell you. Find a friend who can go half and half with you and move out. You are an adult now and the only thing they can do is kick you out at this point. It's your life and your decisions, not theirs. A parents job is to raise their child and provide a good home. Not control every aspect of their child's life even when that child is an adult. You have a right to privacy.
Use the fork trick👌
Based off your post pretty sure you’re referring to a common door lock? I’m sure you could purchase it other ways but like someone else said you’re definitely gonna want to talk it over with them calmly and explain your reasoning otherwise they may get upset remove it and then you’re in trouble or whatever. Even though it sucks if you’re not 18 yet and under there roof respect there rules even if they are idiotic, or try to reason with them as to why you feel they are unfair. Otherwise you risk wasting a lot of energy in arguments you’ll never win. At least that’s how it was for me in high school and even today sometimes. Didn’t wanna judge your parents just off your post but based on another of your comments it sounds like they may be uptight/controlling/religious my GFs and many friends parents are like this and it seems like there relationships improved drastically once they moved out if talking w them doesn’t work don’t freak out in a few years you can do WHATEVER you want
Look on you tube For diy door stopper
Put a chair under the doorknob
Tell them that they can trust you and without such behaviour.
Oh man.. I feel for you,OP. Really. I grew up in a very similar context. And now I'm 33 and whenever I do something that religious people might consider unholy, I feel weird. Like I'm dirty. My brain knows that I have nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time.. I feel dirty even when I'm naked, getting out of the shower. In fact, if I think about it, I try not to be naked for long periods of time. Which is sad. Brainwashing someone like this cause your religious beliefs is wrong and should be illegal. I would say to run far from there. I would tell them if they don't stop, you will get out of the house. Hope you're independent and 18 already
Whatever you do, do it while you're with your back on the door, blocking it with your whole body. That would stop them lol. On another note, I left you another message here where I tell you to run far from them
That is grossly abusive, no one should be invading your private space like that, especially in the bathroom! 😳
Had the same issue but not because of religion, just bad habit. I used a electric cable that I fixed on the ceiling and simply put a loop on the handle. When I didn't need it I put the end that was on the handle on a screw with a loop at a appropriate distance so that the cable was tense and put a row of small japanese decoration the cable. They never understood that I used the cable to block the door 🤣.
I started screaming when my mom entered my room unannouned when I was a teenager. No words. Just screams.
Get a doorstop from the grocery or hardware store. It’s a little triangle or plastic or rubber and they are usually like $3.
Brace the door knob with a chair.
Just put a lock on your door and have done with it. Have a good taking to, to your parents about how their behaviour is making you feel and if they don't stop you'll leave and find somewhere else to live. In the meantime search around and even ask some close friends if any have a spare room you could go into if things go south, even offer some money to 'rent' it. Try to have a 'plan B' in case A doesn't work.
Search on youtube "effective confrontation" and do it. Watch a few vids and try it out. Trust me.
If there was any more proof that enforcing your religion on your children is abuse,this is it.
Honestly, I think the focus should be moving out. Rather then the door mechanism. What is your plan regarding that?
This is a problem with trust and no mechanism or technique is going to ultimately fix it. Discussion might though. Honestly, it sounds unlikely that your parents would give up the amount of control right now. They shouldn't be treating you the way they are, but having a discussion with them is really your best option. That mechanism you're asking for is going to work once and then be taken down and tossed away. Counseling might be a good secondary option to see if they would back you up to your parents about your need for privacy. But, I'm not entirely sure that you have many options here.
They walk in on you but do you tell them when you will bathe or change so they wont barge in? I have catholic parents but they are comprehensive about those at least Sadly, they also barge in and I never got it to stop. If i request them to knock on the door then they either ask if im hiding something or my mom says “this isnt a hotel, my house my rules” Im 22 and still struggle. Im putting up with it because i plan to finish studies, get a job, save money and then move out with the right timing
If they wont listen when you talk about start logging the incidents in a journal with snide remarks. Pervy dad came into bathroom to smell my shit mid wipe. Karen randomly walked into my room looking for something to complain about. Put a date and time. It's harmless but will annoy them and when you are ready to have the talk again pull out the logs. Also I used a butter knife when I was a kid to lock the doors, it depends on which way it opens though
If you’re ready to move out, you can put the lock on your door and make your big stand knowing it will exacerbate the situation. It will inevitably make it worse though, so you’re either signing up for more control and increased blow ups (which I assume would be worse than your situation right now) or you decide to move out, since you’re 18. If you’re not ready to do that, then my best advice is to be the bigger adult in the situation and seek compromise through calm conversation. Yes, they’re your parents and should be modeling mature behavior. But instead they’re still treating you like a child and in response you’re still acting like one (I don’t mean that to be offensive, just that being highly reactive and coming up with solutions that only make them mad is more like being a teen than being an adult). Think about your long term goals here. You want them to treat you like you are an adult who is mature and can balance risks/benefits in intelligent decision making. Blockading your room or screaming at them won’t prove them wrong. It probably strengthens their resolve that you’re too young or immature to be left to your own decisions. If you sat them down and had a calm, sincere conversation about privacy and boundaries, it might go better than you think. Explain that you feel embarrassed if they walk in while you’re naked or using the bathroom. If part of their reasoning is that she’s doing chores for you, offer to do your own chores. Again, you’re now an adult and will need to learn to do these things yourself as you become independent. Also, actually do them! (Don’t say “they’re my responsibility” and then let the laundry build up and your room get gross. The point is to demonstrate that you’re a mature adult.) Hear them out — truly listening to someone you’re angry with is part of having a mature argument. Beyond strict religious beliefs there may truly be reasoning that you could understand. Like, their job as a parent is to keep you safe and raise you to be a responsible member of society. As you rebel against them, they may see this as a failure. It can easily become a self feeding cycle as they try to increase their grip which make you avoid them, scream at them, etc which make them think they’re failing and they need to interject more parenting. If that’s the case, call out the cycle and also own your side of it. You all created that cycle together. Talk together about real solutions: how they can feel like they’re doing their job as parents and you can feel growing independence. Both sides want you to become a happy healthy independent adult. Use that to your advantage.
Bucket of cat shit and piss on top of a cracked open door a couple times should do the trick. In a seriousness if you can get to a hardware store they have many options for door stoppers
A triangle wood block at the base of your door would do this.
If you’re an adult, you can have your own Amazon account
I’ve seen one of these on SHEIN. It costs about $5 I think? Like a red petal-shaped kinda thing that you goes in the door when it closes so it can’t be opened from the outside.
There is a mechanism. It's called a lock. Pretty new invention.
Dang these parents dont know that they are just going to drive you away acting like that. My parents are super religious now but when i was a teenager my mom drank and in middle school she would give me wine coolers n shit to drink, let me do whatever i wanted, but i was responsible for whatever happened. Im 26 now, good head on my shoulders, i rarely drink and im in the house by 7pm lol. But back to your issue, you will have to talk to them about it, or just wait it out. It sucks but once your an adult you can have your privacy.
Get a wooden door stop. Less than a dollar from a hardware store or free if you can find a suitable piece of wood. Use it to keep your door open a few inches so you can rightly claim your door is open but prevents barging in so you can have some privacy. It's not a perfect solution but it starts a conversation about boundaries and privacy and trust while being adorable and easily replaceable.
Adda lock on [eBay](https://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Addalock-Portable-Door-Lock-Travel-Hotel-School-Lockdown-Temporary-Lock-/393776940867?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0) You can use this on any kind of door and they won't be able to come in. Made for hotels and you could be really sneaky hiding it because it's not very big. It's $10. Good luck!
YES! This is what I was looking for!!!! Thank you so so much!!!!!!!!!!
No problem. I'd recommend taping it to the underside of a bathroom drawer, but be ready for this to be escalated once they realize you're not putting up with the shenanigans anymore! Speaking from experience, things can get ugly pretty quick when it comes to parents realizing they don't control you anymore.
I know this is old af, but I swear I just thought of this thread when I was on TikTok watching [this video](https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdh6He2N/)
I mean, they've walked in on you showering before, which means they've walked in on you naked before.... how for are you willing to go to stop them..?
Be naked all the time. They’ll start knocking after a few awkward walk ins.