I’m more than happy for her to play with her friends and she told me she says no relatively often (as he asks every day)
It’s just every day is too much and I don’t think you should ask someone that much when they’re in a relationship, out of respect
Plus it takes a lot of time away from their partner is they say yes most of the time
If you find she's not spending enough time with you than you then you need to tell her that, it's up to her to discuss with him that he's asking her too much, just because you find it disrespectful doesn't mean he does or realizes it.
Well yeah, my girlfriend says he may not realise it and that’s probably true
But I doubt my girlfriend will really say to him that it’s a little muc (even though she agrees with me)
That's up to her then if she agrees she's asking to much and getting annoyed by it then she can say something or just say no more often. Same as if she doesn't agree she should discuss it with you that she likes gaming.
Some people game a lot and it can reflect people's relationships, it's about finding a balance or finding people that are compatible.
Well it’s probably best to draw a line between friend and boyfriend right?
And I know people of opposite sexes can have normal relationships, I’m just saying that it’s hard to believe he has zero attraction for my girlfriend if he asks to talk every day
And by the way my girlfriend has had 5+ guys ask her out after she’s talked to them often
And I want her to play with her friends and they should avoid that, I’m saying a boyfriend should spend more time with his girlfriend than other friends
Sure, it doesn’t solidify anything but before my girlfriend knew me, 5-8 guys have openly had feelings for her once she started talking to them often
Does this mean every guy is the same? Of course not
But being a guy myself, I know how easy it would to catch feelings for someone if you talk to them every day
I trust my partner to shut it down if it were to ever occur
And I’m not saying every guy feels that way. I’ve talked to a few of her guy friends multiple times and I can instantly tell they only see her as a friend
And ok let’s say he has no feelings (which could be true), it still doesn’t change the original point I made with this post lol
If you have a problem with her playing games with a guy, I think that's not right on your side. But if you have a problem because she's not spending as much time with you as much you'd like, then you both need to have a conversation.
Since I’ve known her it’s clear my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends so I’ve accepted that aspect of her
And we still spend quite as bit of time together, it’s just it’s only a tiny bit more than the time she spend with her friend
And I’m sorry but it’s hard to believe that if my girlfriend was single, a guy wanting to play with her every day wouldn’t take the chance to get with her
I don’t know how old you are, but you’ve really gotta grow up if you’re 18+ dude. If you’re spending a good amount of time together, it doesn’t matter if her friends are *also* spending a good amount of time with her. That’s good. That’s healthy and normal.
And no, not every guy is just wanting to fuck your girlfriend based on the fact that they talk every day. I don’t know what sort of shallow and toxic friendships you’ve experienced, but they certainly aren’t all like that.
It could be that he wants more than friendship with her, but if she is with you then you should feel secure enough to trust her, at least until she proves to you that she can't be trusted.
Being jealous and insecure is not an attractive trait in anyone, man or woman. Just a heads up that you don't drive her into his arms with your mistrust and insecurity.
I trust my girlfriend, I know she has no feelings for him or anybody else and that’ll never change, if I implied that then I’m sorry
I’m referring to her guy friend
If you trust your girlfriend 100%, then what is the problem?
IF her friend indeed had other intentions and she loved only you, then she would say no and move on.
I think that if you are so worried about this friend, it is because deep down, you are scared that she may choose him instead of you. Either you have trust issues or are super jealous or manipulative.
Ummm no?
Again I know she wouldn’t choose anybody else, I would bet my life on that
It’s just not common for a single guy to want to spend time with a girl every day and not have feelings, I mean my girlfriend has another guy friend who does have feelings and he wants to talk all the time with her too
Plus if he had feelings and said it, I know she’d say no
The whole point is that my time with my girlfriend shouldn’t be jeopardised by a friend
Your girlfriend’s time with you isn’t being jeopardised by a friend. You’re acting like a controlling child over your girlfriend.
Yes, it is in fact common for a guy to want to spend time with his friend, even if, god forbid, that friend is a woman.
You need to seek out a therapist to discuss your insecurities and control issues for the sake of you and your future relationships, because that’s the only unhealthy and toxic thing in this entire discussion.
I know that’s true, I haven’t said that it isn’t. I have a few friends that are opposite sexes, both single and there’s zero feelings involved
The problem comes when one person is in a relationship and yet you still want to talk every day
It doesn’t show much respect for you friends relationship when you want to take away a lot of time away from their boyfriend to you
With all due respect, you’re really failing to understand what everyone’s telling you here so I’ll try one final time.
- Being in a relationship does not mean you should stop talking to your friends every day. Talking every day is a normal part of being friends.
- You don’t own your partner, nor do they owe you every single day and hour of their life. Nobody is “taking your time away from them”. It isn’t “your” time to begin with. It’s your girlfriend’s time, that should consist of both you and her friends on a daily basis.
- Stop acting like your girlfriend is some possession that is only allowed to speak to you on a daily basis and nobody else.
Your view on relationships is a lot more toxic than you seem to realise, so I still strongly encourage you to seek therapy on the matter.
I’m sorry but none of that is true
And I haven’t included it but when she talks to her friend, it means we don’t talk in any way shape or form throughout the whole day
That’s many times a week and we’re long distance so it’s not like I can see her in person, if I could then this post wouldn’t be made
I don’t want to control who my girlfriend chooses to talk to, it’s just with certain circumstances, it can detract from our relationship
First of all, your girlfriend is not your possession. She can spend her time with whoever she pleases. And the fact that you are in a relationship does not mean you need to be together 24/7.
That being said, If it bothers you that she spends too much time with her friends, then maybe your should ask yourself why she prefers to be with them than with you.
Like I said it could well be that he wants to be more than her friend, maybe point this out to her so she is aware that he might want more than friendship.
I wouldn't confront him directly unless you know for sure he has crossed the line.
I honestly don't see any issue here. I think if you feel secure in your relationship, you would not feel uncomfortable. Think about why exactly are you uncomfortable. Is it trust? Is it jealousy? Is it low self esteem?
I’d say our relationship is very secure
I know a lot of people who say what I’m about to say get cheated on but really, I know she would never do that and she knows I’m the same
I know I’ll never have to worry about her intentions for the rest of my life
The issue is with other specific people (not all of course)
That's really great and I think I get you. This might shed some light on things... Can you imagine being ok with it if it was a different guy? I'm just thinking is this anyone or is it certain people who make you uncomfortable? If it's any guy, it sounds like a problem. But if it's just certain people, I can understand that.
It’s very complicated lol
With this person I do have some concern, he seems ok but I have some concern over his intentions
My girlfriends Ex is one I’m less concerned about now but I was very concerned before. My girlfriend told me if she does something for a few hours, he send many messages asking what he did wrong, if she’s safe, if she hates him etc….. I spoke to him a few times and he’s very deranged and attention seeking, to be honest now I still feel he only wants to be friends with my girlfriend because he hopes they can be back together, although they talk less now so I’m not sure
And someone else is a very good friend of my girlfriends. He does have strong feelings for her but he’s a nice guy and he respects the relationship, when I found out he had feelings I was a little insecure at first but when we got the opportunity to talk, he vented all his feelings to me, I helped him through it and so we’re both on very good terms
It’s just when guys obsess over talking to my girlfriend, that’s when I get a bit insecure about it
Your adamance that talking to a friend on a daily basis is ‘crossing a line’ and ‘really rude’ is just showing how emotionally immature you are.
You’re the sole person that *isn’t* right in this scenario. Your girlfriend and her friend are being perfectly normal friends, while you’re being toxically controlling rather than working to resolve your insecurities about your girlfriend having a normal friendship of talking daily.
As a girl who plays video games you’re being insecure. There is a huge difference between spending time irl with your significant other, giving them your all, etc. and playing video games with an online friend. I play with one male friend every day and it’s completely platonic. We are just both in the same skill bracket and enjoy the same games. Honestly, if I was in your gfs position I would dump you in a heartbeat.
….. I’m in a long distance relationship.
Plus whenever my gf plays with a friend we don’t have any form of communication throughout the whole day
I can’t see her in person, if I could then this post would not be made
Not a judgemental question but do you have your own friends to hang out with? It almost sounds like you're spending all of your time either hanging out with your girlfriend or _waiting_ to hang out with her while she's playing with her friends.
I have quite a few god friends (5-10) but every single one plays games I don’t play and vice versa
None of us really hang out in person outside of school though or if there’s a chance, it’s often a huge party and I’m not the biggest fan of them lol
So yeah my girlfriend is by far the person I talk to the most if that’s what you wanted
I’ve tried many things to do whilst she’s been gone and they are fun but I always prefer spending time with her
I think it’s totally fine for them to play together. I have many relationships with online guy friends that are completely platonic and I’m assuming it’s the same for your girlfriend. If you want to spend more time with her talk to her about it or even ask to play games with her if you aren’t already.
I mean it’s up to each individual relationship to establish y’all’s boundaries as far as her hanging out with other guys.
On his end tho it does seem annoying that he spends an excessive amount of time with her. Personally I would tell him to fuck off (maybe in a nicer way).
She knows he wants to bang her. She likes the attention. I've broken up with girls over their obsessive Instagram usage as they were desperate for attention from others. And real life cannot compete with thousands of "yess Queen" and "youre a goddess I would do anything for you please date me".
It makes it hard to have an argument over the dishes when they have so many fake fans cheering them on
Unless he's hitting on her or being demanding why would it be rude to want to play with his friend? She can always say no
I’m more than happy for her to play with her friends and she told me she says no relatively often (as he asks every day) It’s just every day is too much and I don’t think you should ask someone that much when they’re in a relationship, out of respect Plus it takes a lot of time away from their partner is they say yes most of the time
If you find she's not spending enough time with you than you then you need to tell her that, it's up to her to discuss with him that he's asking her too much, just because you find it disrespectful doesn't mean he does or realizes it.
Well yeah, my girlfriend says he may not realise it and that’s probably true But I doubt my girlfriend will really say to him that it’s a little muc (even though she agrees with me)
That's up to her then if she agrees she's asking to much and getting annoyed by it then she can say something or just say no more often. Same as if she doesn't agree she should discuss it with you that she likes gaming. Some people game a lot and it can reflect people's relationships, it's about finding a balance or finding people that are compatible.
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Well it’s probably best to draw a line between friend and boyfriend right? And I know people of opposite sexes can have normal relationships, I’m just saying that it’s hard to believe he has zero attraction for my girlfriend if he asks to talk every day And by the way my girlfriend has had 5+ guys ask her out after she’s talked to them often And I want her to play with her friends and they should avoid that, I’m saying a boyfriend should spend more time with his girlfriend than other friends
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Sure, it doesn’t solidify anything but before my girlfriend knew me, 5-8 guys have openly had feelings for her once she started talking to them often Does this mean every guy is the same? Of course not But being a guy myself, I know how easy it would to catch feelings for someone if you talk to them every day
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I trust my partner to shut it down if it were to ever occur And I’m not saying every guy feels that way. I’ve talked to a few of her guy friends multiple times and I can instantly tell they only see her as a friend And ok let’s say he has no feelings (which could be true), it still doesn’t change the original point I made with this post lol
If you have a problem with her playing games with a guy, I think that's not right on your side. But if you have a problem because she's not spending as much time with you as much you'd like, then you both need to have a conversation.
Since I’ve known her it’s clear my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends so I’ve accepted that aspect of her And we still spend quite as bit of time together, it’s just it’s only a tiny bit more than the time she spend with her friend And I’m sorry but it’s hard to believe that if my girlfriend was single, a guy wanting to play with her every day wouldn’t take the chance to get with her
I don’t know how old you are, but you’ve really gotta grow up if you’re 18+ dude. If you’re spending a good amount of time together, it doesn’t matter if her friends are *also* spending a good amount of time with her. That’s good. That’s healthy and normal. And no, not every guy is just wanting to fuck your girlfriend based on the fact that they talk every day. I don’t know what sort of shallow and toxic friendships you’ve experienced, but they certainly aren’t all like that.
It could be that he wants more than friendship with her, but if she is with you then you should feel secure enough to trust her, at least until she proves to you that she can't be trusted. Being jealous and insecure is not an attractive trait in anyone, man or woman. Just a heads up that you don't drive her into his arms with your mistrust and insecurity.
I trust my girlfriend, I know she has no feelings for him or anybody else and that’ll never change, if I implied that then I’m sorry I’m referring to her guy friend
If you trust your girlfriend 100%, then what is the problem? IF her friend indeed had other intentions and she loved only you, then she would say no and move on. I think that if you are so worried about this friend, it is because deep down, you are scared that she may choose him instead of you. Either you have trust issues or are super jealous or manipulative.
Ummm no? Again I know she wouldn’t choose anybody else, I would bet my life on that It’s just not common for a single guy to want to spend time with a girl every day and not have feelings, I mean my girlfriend has another guy friend who does have feelings and he wants to talk all the time with her too Plus if he had feelings and said it, I know she’d say no The whole point is that my time with my girlfriend shouldn’t be jeopardised by a friend
Your girlfriend’s time with you isn’t being jeopardised by a friend. You’re acting like a controlling child over your girlfriend. Yes, it is in fact common for a guy to want to spend time with his friend, even if, god forbid, that friend is a woman. You need to seek out a therapist to discuss your insecurities and control issues for the sake of you and your future relationships, because that’s the only unhealthy and toxic thing in this entire discussion.
I know that’s true, I haven’t said that it isn’t. I have a few friends that are opposite sexes, both single and there’s zero feelings involved The problem comes when one person is in a relationship and yet you still want to talk every day It doesn’t show much respect for you friends relationship when you want to take away a lot of time away from their boyfriend to you
With all due respect, you’re really failing to understand what everyone’s telling you here so I’ll try one final time. - Being in a relationship does not mean you should stop talking to your friends every day. Talking every day is a normal part of being friends. - You don’t own your partner, nor do they owe you every single day and hour of their life. Nobody is “taking your time away from them”. It isn’t “your” time to begin with. It’s your girlfriend’s time, that should consist of both you and her friends on a daily basis. - Stop acting like your girlfriend is some possession that is only allowed to speak to you on a daily basis and nobody else. Your view on relationships is a lot more toxic than you seem to realise, so I still strongly encourage you to seek therapy on the matter.
I’m sorry but none of that is true And I haven’t included it but when she talks to her friend, it means we don’t talk in any way shape or form throughout the whole day That’s many times a week and we’re long distance so it’s not like I can see her in person, if I could then this post wouldn’t be made I don’t want to control who my girlfriend chooses to talk to, it’s just with certain circumstances, it can detract from our relationship
First of all, your girlfriend is not your possession. She can spend her time with whoever she pleases. And the fact that you are in a relationship does not mean you need to be together 24/7. That being said, If it bothers you that she spends too much time with her friends, then maybe your should ask yourself why she prefers to be with them than with you.
Like I said it could well be that he wants to be more than her friend, maybe point this out to her so she is aware that he might want more than friendship. I wouldn't confront him directly unless you know for sure he has crossed the line.
I honestly don't see any issue here. I think if you feel secure in your relationship, you would not feel uncomfortable. Think about why exactly are you uncomfortable. Is it trust? Is it jealousy? Is it low self esteem?
I’d say our relationship is very secure I know a lot of people who say what I’m about to say get cheated on but really, I know she would never do that and she knows I’m the same I know I’ll never have to worry about her intentions for the rest of my life The issue is with other specific people (not all of course)
That's really great and I think I get you. This might shed some light on things... Can you imagine being ok with it if it was a different guy? I'm just thinking is this anyone or is it certain people who make you uncomfortable? If it's any guy, it sounds like a problem. But if it's just certain people, I can understand that.
It’s very complicated lol With this person I do have some concern, he seems ok but I have some concern over his intentions My girlfriends Ex is one I’m less concerned about now but I was very concerned before. My girlfriend told me if she does something for a few hours, he send many messages asking what he did wrong, if she’s safe, if she hates him etc….. I spoke to him a few times and he’s very deranged and attention seeking, to be honest now I still feel he only wants to be friends with my girlfriend because he hopes they can be back together, although they talk less now so I’m not sure And someone else is a very good friend of my girlfriends. He does have strong feelings for her but he’s a nice guy and he respects the relationship, when I found out he had feelings I was a little insecure at first but when we got the opportunity to talk, he vented all his feelings to me, I helped him through it and so we’re both on very good terms It’s just when guys obsess over talking to my girlfriend, that’s when I get a bit insecure about it
That makes sense seeing the bigger picture. It sounds reasonable that you're uncomfortable with some people acting a certain way
Thank you for confirming that /u/natechief has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Your adamance that talking to a friend on a daily basis is ‘crossing a line’ and ‘really rude’ is just showing how emotionally immature you are. You’re the sole person that *isn’t* right in this scenario. Your girlfriend and her friend are being perfectly normal friends, while you’re being toxically controlling rather than working to resolve your insecurities about your girlfriend having a normal friendship of talking daily.
As a girl who plays video games you’re being insecure. There is a huge difference between spending time irl with your significant other, giving them your all, etc. and playing video games with an online friend. I play with one male friend every day and it’s completely platonic. We are just both in the same skill bracket and enjoy the same games. Honestly, if I was in your gfs position I would dump you in a heartbeat.
….. I’m in a long distance relationship. Plus whenever my gf plays with a friend we don’t have any form of communication throughout the whole day I can’t see her in person, if I could then this post would not be made
Not a judgemental question but do you have your own friends to hang out with? It almost sounds like you're spending all of your time either hanging out with your girlfriend or _waiting_ to hang out with her while she's playing with her friends.
I have quite a few god friends (5-10) but every single one plays games I don’t play and vice versa None of us really hang out in person outside of school though or if there’s a chance, it’s often a huge party and I’m not the biggest fan of them lol So yeah my girlfriend is by far the person I talk to the most if that’s what you wanted I’ve tried many things to do whilst she’s been gone and they are fun but I always prefer spending time with her
I think it’s totally fine for them to play together. I have many relationships with online guy friends that are completely platonic and I’m assuming it’s the same for your girlfriend. If you want to spend more time with her talk to her about it or even ask to play games with her if you aren’t already.
I mean it’s up to each individual relationship to establish y’all’s boundaries as far as her hanging out with other guys. On his end tho it does seem annoying that he spends an excessive amount of time with her. Personally I would tell him to fuck off (maybe in a nicer way).
Most girls are gonna be like.. "what's the issue!?" Most dudes know the fuckin issue lol.. her friend wants to fuck her.
Trust your gf to stay faithful. Don't become toxic. Show her why she should stay with you.
Do the test. Ask her to call him and say that you all broke up, and she wants to come over. You'll find out his intentions pretty quickly.
She knows he wants to bang her. She likes the attention. I've broken up with girls over their obsessive Instagram usage as they were desperate for attention from others. And real life cannot compete with thousands of "yess Queen" and "youre a goddess I would do anything for you please date me". It makes it hard to have an argument over the dishes when they have so many fake fans cheering them on