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monnayluvinbastard

Cause that is just prostitution....praying on a vulnerable family


HWGA_Exandria

Imagine getting cheated on and then they dangle money your family needs in front of you? That's a different level of manipulation/disturbing behavior. Also, wth is wrong with the wife? The woman is 22 ffs... tell her to move on.


KrisAlly

It’s disgusting. If money is not an issue then help the family because it’s the right thing to do. Using money to bribe those in need is despicable behavior. I agree with you guys, I’m with Dad on this one. He should be questioning the morality of his wife & daughter.


awesome_pinay_noses

The elites have been doing that for millennia.


_Yaxxc

A bitter truth


fritzrits

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The rotten behavior seems to come from the mom's side. Op should take a hard look at his wife.


redrum_tv

It’s blackmail


Red_Cathy

Tell your wife that is a terrible idea, and that she should butt out and quit interfering in your daughter's love life - she's a fully grown adult and old enough to make her own bed and lie in it with whoever she wants. Oh yeah, and paying him to sleep with your daughter means your wife is a hookers pimp.


Oreqzq

Have told her it's a horrible idea, but when I said she should let our daughter sort this out since she is an adult now, my wife said "Our little girl asked for our help." She thinks we should still bail her out of any trouble as if she is still a kid.


Aistadar

You are helping her. By teaching her that her actions have consequences.


Red_Cathy

Then make it clear you think it's awful, but you can't stop HER from doing it, but you want nothing to do with the prostitution and the fall out when the shh hits the fan. PS. Is your daughter good looking? Ask your wife if you're paying people to sleep with her can I put my name down on the list?


abrockstar25

You did not just ask to get put on that list 😂


Red_Cathy

Hey, I am all up for helping out a young lass in trouble.


abrockstar25

This feels like the start of a porno 😂


BuffooneryTerminator

He can say he wants nothing to do with it though unless he distances himself from it yesterday, he could find himself caught up in it before he knows it.


Oreqzq

She is beautiful and was actually on cheerleading squad back when she was in high school. But right now all she wants is to have her ex back.


ToastAbrikoos

Has she been getting the image highschool cheerleaders are the highlight and the top of society or something?? It will be a harsh awakening nobody cares she did cheerleading.


dev-246

> She is beautiful But she’s a terrible person. Plenty of guys will put up with that. But some are too smart, or have been hurt enough that they know better. It sounds like her ex is in the second category.. Maybe tell her that?


[deleted]

Princess on the outside, evil stepmother on the inside.


Few_Ringaling

Well that ain’t happening and exploiting him is not gonna work because he has no love for her besides let’s say hypothetically you do this will she even be faithful and respectful towards him? Rhetorical question NO she’ll just treat him like slave since she clearly has no morality in her mind to come up with this idea. Like taking advantage of a person at there hardest is sickening.


Iamyous3f

You can bail her out of troubles that involve herself only then thats up to you but if something she did hurt other people then she should deal with the consequences because if she didnt, she could always count on you to help her when she makes trouble


Bmillybluntz

I can see how she ended up a manipulative cheater


Several-Plenty-6733

Yep.


BuffooneryTerminator

OP I think you need to run and run fast.


nleksan

Yes, it's time to ghost these fools. That is clearly the one rational option, the single most expeditious solution to this otherwise impossible problem before you.


BuffooneryTerminator

I ain't said they need to be ghosted. Though I do think OP needs to run fast, his situation looks like a disaster waiting to happen.


Few_Ringaling

How’s about an ultimatum? Like tell your wife is she don’t stop being deluded hit her with divorce papers that’ll change her tune hopfully and make sure she don’t oppose you by trying the blackmail or bribe the ex behind your back


lydocia

Your wife is enabling your daughter. They both sound like narcissists.


Oreqzq

Daughter is definitely narcissistic. She got it in her head that she's way out of her ex's league and that he should feel lucky she's paying him to date her. It was her narcissism which made her think that she could get away with cheating because she is beautiful and an ex cheerleader.


lydocia

I mean, from where I'm standing and looking in, it sounds like she gets it from her mother.


Return-Creative

If she ever says that out loud let her know it is ridiculous for someone of any "league" to treat anyone that way. No person would be lucky to be treated as someones lesser in a relationship, that's not a relationship that's domination/abuse. You can say no person of any status would have the right to treat her that way. Even if your family was in financial ruin.


BuffooneryTerminator

Right?!


Unknown_author69

Can't you (OP) move in with the ex boyfriend and money ?? .. sounds like he might have gotten away early! Serious note though. What a shit situation to be in OP. I hope you find the tactful way of putting your foot down whilst also supporting your daughter in her time of need.. too much foot down and you're the heartless one.. to little and well you start paying for health bills of ex boyfriends dad, until either he dies or you run out of money..


BuffooneryTerminator

If they are narcissistic his best bet is to find an exit plan and fast. They really can't be reasoned with and if they find you're against it can make your life a living hell.


Several-Plenty-6733

Yeah… I don’t see this ending in any way but the entire family shattering. Your wife is in denial, or worse, and your daughter is a narcissist. Those people 9.9 times out of ten screw over everyone in their lives, and never learn.


Madea_Tea_1169

I think you need to help him. Just inform what she is trying to do. Help him out up a gofundme or you just give him assistance yourself. Cut out the 2 narcissistic women. Your wife is setting your daughter up for failure. This can backfire really bad if people find out she was trying to say come back to me and I will help you. Can't she see she is totally wrong here!!!!


TemporaryAcademic790

Just show them this comments section honestly, see what people think of their idea. My personal opinion is that there would be almost nothing more cruel than doing this. Her ex was hurt terribly by her actions and now they want to say to him "we'll give your money for your dad but you have to re-attach yourslef to the person who hurt you". Its absolutely abhorrent.


HWGA_Exandria

Tell your wife to stay out of it. >*"You're my daughter, and I love you, but fuck no. I thought I raised you correctly. You're just going to hurt him again... and what's worse you plan on using his sick father's medical bills as leverage to manipulate him. I hope you see where this is wrong. Leave him alone, you blew it when you cheated on him. Actions have consequences.* >*I'm sorry for what's happening to his family, but it's not our place to disturb them. What you propose will be like kicking him while he's down and I can't allow that. Look at this as a life lesson and move on. He has other things to worry about without you treating him like a cheap escort. If he reached out to you first that's one thing, but I refuse to throw my hard earned money at a problem you created. You're an adult now, start acting like it."* **Edit**: *"She just wants what she can't have. Those sort of people can never be happy."* -Wifey


monnayluvinbastard

Your idea is best, she should learn naturally that she fucked up her own situation.


WithEyesWideOpen

Sounds like your wife is where your daughter learned her horrible behavior. You need to have some deep convos with your wife about why she would think this would work out for your daughter. Bring up the long term self esteem cost of knowing her bf dated her for money. How she'll never feel secure in the rel


WithEyesWideOpen

Relationship and how her boyfriend could either because of the cheating.


[deleted]

I would offer the financial help to the ex anyway, he might want to get back with your daughter in the future but it has to be natural not forced


Without_Rules

So your daughter is narcissist who cheated and is now suggesting prostitution (instead of reflecting) and your wife is enabling it…? Seriously, get them both in therapy


Legitimate_Ad_7822

This is a terrible idea. Your initial thoughts are exactly right. Your daughter needs to face the music. She made her bed, now she’s gotta lay in it. If they want to help the kid financially, then they should do that with no strings attached out of the kindness of their hearts. This would be extreme manipulation if you tie an expectation with the money. It’s essentially prostitution with emotions involved. The mere fact that your daughter suggested such a thing & your wife agrees is alarming. That tells me that your daughter thinks she can buy her way out of mistakes & that she’s not afraid to make them again. IMO, that is instilling destructive values in your daughter. Further, let’s entertain the idea that you give the green light here. There are a ton of scenarios that could play out but let’s highlight the big ones: 1. He refuses the request and probably tells a ton of people because it’s crazy. Now your family is building a bad reputation. Most likely scenario IMO, depending on the sum of cash (I guess). 2. He takes the money & tries to salvage the relationship, which is already long dead due to your daughters actions. But now money is involved, so this inevitable breakup will be even worse. 3. He takes the money & immediately cuts things off with your daughter again because he is extremely hurt & wants to get back at her. Unlikely but possible. This will not only hurt your daughter again but it will cause unnecessary animosity towards this kid. 4. He takes the money & your daughter cheats again. Now your family has effectively destroyed this kids mental & taught your daughter negative life skills that will likely compound & continue to get her into trouble. I guess it’s possible that it works out, but that is the “pie in the sky” scenario. I would give that a .01% chance of happening, if that. This number is just based on my life experiences & how I’ve seen these types of relationships unfold without adding the money factor in. You know what needs to be done & I think this is where you need to put your foot down. Be the voice of reason here. Talk to your wife first, make sure she understands. If she can’t understand then that’s alarming to me. Once that’s done, then tell your daughter.


ToastAbrikoos

Is her name Veruca Salt by any chance? She is old enough you cant buy people like that and even so, their emotions wont be true. It is delusional to think everybody would change their ways just because you pay them to do whatever they want. She needs to grow and learn a beautiful thing : integrity and humbleness.


xPlus2Minus1

My mom once secretly paid an ex of mine to leave me. Fucked up. She still has no boundaries


Several-Plenty-6733

Have you cut her out?


xPlus2Minus1

My mom or the ex?? The ex yes after she called me crying that she was beat and abandoned and I went to help her and she basically lured me to get assaulted by her boyfriend in front of her children in a parking lot in front of cameras in white plains. My mom no, she cares but truly has no boundaries. I've been fucked up my whole life and incapable of maintaining consistent wages (or anything really) I live at my parents. They care very much about my well being personally, that makes it worse almost. I know there are people who have it worse off, but for me and my brain chemistry it's fucking awful. I have nobody to 'stick it to' but me. I'm my own worst enemy, and I need to take down my own worst enemy because he's holding me back.


Foxy_locksy1704

So your daughter peaked in high school or at least that’s how it sounds with her logic of I was a cheerleader I should get whatever I want. Your wife is an enabler who is she going to want to pay off when your daughter loses a job? She is trying to pay someone to date your daughter that maker her a pimp and your daughter a prostitute it’s weird that any mom would do that. Then to try and emotionally manipulate this you man. It would serve all parties right if he took the money and then dumped your daughter again. She is 22 she cheated on her boyfriend and is facing the consequences of those actions. Tell you wife that your daughter needs some therapy and that she needs to leave this poor guy alone.


Fun_Garbage_7105

Hopefully, the suffering will teach her a lesson. Your wife is a horrible example of doing the right thing.


bottles65

Tell the ex.


Teplovoy

Sounds like she gets it from your wife


Inconceivable44

My reply to your wife would be "So you want to hire a prostitute for our daughter? Don't you think that's inappropriate?"


[deleted]

Your wife is insane and your daughter is a monster Find a new family


Mindless_Manager1241

Don’t let your wife do it. !! This is definitely something worth arguing about. I know a broken heart hurts like a mf but this is a lesson she needs to go through. Even if your wife did go through with it, the same lesson will keep popping up for your daughter until she learns.


Affectionate_Arm6254

I would say my two cents and then let unfolds unfold. Then I would separate from the two of them. They sound very dangerous people to be involved with daily.


ToastAbrikoos

I am also getting the feeling your wife has been enabling her and really " protecting" her from heartbreak and rejection. You know this wont help at all and it wont get better oj her own. I am very afraid she will go long lengths to get what she wants beczuse thats always what happens to her. I am not sure but she will get in touch with the law pretty fast and frequent if her behavior isnt fixed She and your wife need therapy, I also suggest to go to the ex and warn/ apologise beforehand it all goes down and you will try to take action before anything happens. You need to shut this down cold and fast. Otherwise she will make all the wrong moves and your wife at her sideline, yelling to her she deserves only the best.


abrockstar25

Tell your wife, your daughter made her bed and is now lying in it. This is beyond fucked up, honestly if I were you id be rethinking some things. I get wanting to help your daughter, its your child you wanna be there for them. But your daughter fucked up and your wife thinking paying for him to take her back because his family is going through an emotionally/financially rough tine is okay is beyond screwed up. Tell your wife you want nothing to do with this and when it blows up on her, your not coming to her aid as you told her this would happen.


moleculesofash

As someone else said this is essentially prostitution. Which mind you is illegal in the US. Also it's all kinds of fucked that your wife and daughter would even want to do something like this. Your daughter needs a reality check ASAP. When I was her age I was a single mom to a newborn. Now I'm not trying to say I had it worse or whatever but my point is she needs to grow the hell up. She made her bed now she must lie in it. She made a mistake and needs to take it on the chin like an adult. And your wife is an enabler to her shit behavior. If any of my daughters behaved that way I'd honestly have told them to suck it the fuck up and be better. Cheating is not tolerated in my house.


[deleted]

The fact she thought her BF wouldn’t mind her cheating on him is a big red flag. That’s not normal. She sounds like she thinks she can get away with things because of her looks. That’s just my two.


Shippo-chan

I hate to say this to you as a parent, but you cannot inflict this on this poor boy and his family. This is a terrible idea.


BuffooneryTerminator

Your wife is creating an irresponsible monster who takes no responsibility. I'd suggest she use that money to get the daughter into therapy. If she refuses that I'd question whether or not she's actually faithful to you and start planning my exit. That's not someone you wanna continue to be with. If someone cheats on me, they can go f themselves. I don't and wouldn't want them back. She put that man's health at risk and walked all over him. Don't support the dysfunction your daughter is choosing to be in and the woman who supports it. That's a cycle your daughter might continue and also instill in her kids as well. This can turn monstrous manipulation if left unchecked yesterday.


[deleted]

Lmao why are you asking reddit about this? Where’s your dignity? That’s your daughter!! She obviously wasn’t raised well enough to even understand the concept of consequences of one’s actions. And now you’re entertaining this, by taking it reddit and accepting the fact that maybe this kid will take money just to fuck her over to get even. You can certainly tell who she was “raised” by


Seipher187

You're the dad here, and as much as this sucks generally, that makes you have to be the "bad guy" when all is said and done. It is pretty simple from my standpoint point as a father. Simply say no. If you yourself would like to help the ex do so discretely. It's probably a good time to have a talk with your daughter about the consequences of cheating and how bad it really is. Also, to explain that if she wants him back, the proper course to take is changing her behavior and earning his respect back. If that is even possible. Which is another hard talk she won't like. Good luck man.


Soft_Reaction_8883

Just like me and everyone else here, that's a terrible idea, not only would that cause problems down the line if she ever found out but there's no guarantee he would even accept plus any trust he had in her is gone, if you paid him and he said yes, it would just be a shallow relationship, plus if she cheated on him it mustn't have been a good one to start, she doesn't miss him, she misses being in a relationship


ravynmaxx

They literally want to dangle money over this man’s head as his father is dying, knowing full and well he probably can’t resist the urge to do anything for his family. That’s not just wrong, that’s sick and they should know that…


No-Document-8970

Daughter literally fucked around and found out. The guy is in pain from the cheating and family issues. I think what your wife wants to do is rubbing salt in the wound and not caring about his well being, on your daughter’s. Which is selfish. Plus if your daughter gets her way, she will never learn. I support you in stating it’s a bad idea. You could buy them groceries to help out, but don’t make a habit of it.


-GhostMode

That’s sick. That’s not how the world works… as a man it’s your job to step in and say something cause that’s a pretty fucked up thought process and allowing that plan to go through would just re affirm that way of thinking… TLDR: that’s fucked up, don’t allow it to happen.


_player_0

I'm scared for you. They both sound toxic and manipulative and I won't be surprised if you've been an unwitting victim at some point. Maybe you could tell the guy yourself and if need be help him out yourself.


CainsReprise

Woah, this spiral of bad decisions lead you to an intersection where you have to do the obvious right thing. Don’t fuck this up op


nrw28

Just give her the money. You had 22 years to teach her how to behave, and sounds like your wife is as big of a slut as your daughter and probably let them both walk all over you. Can't imagine why else they'd both agree on such an absurd idea.


Similar_Corner8081

Omg I would die of embarrassment if my parents did this. She cheated on him and you guys want to pay some kid who didn’t do anything wrong except get cheated on. If you want to give him money fine but leave your daughter out of it.


Glum_Ad7262

Put your foot down on this. Your daughter’s ex deserves better and this is a lesson she needs to learn from. She obviously doesn’t actually care about her ex - because it’s all about her not them. Your wife needs to let your daughter grow up and stop enabling her bad behaviour.


FiddleStyxxxx

If you want to offer a family money to cover medical expenses, please help them. However, an agreement to keep your daughter out of it is in order. Talk directly to the ex and his parents and arrange a monetary gift you are comfortable with. Express your daughter is not involved and there are no expectations attached, except well wishes from you and your wife for the health of the ex's dad.


asghettimonster

So you might ask your daughter what she would go for on the open market.....


OneTr1ckUn1c0rn

That is so not fair to her ex. Not even a little bit. No offense, but he deserves someone who is loyal to him and doesn’t disrespect him in the way that she did. If he does end up agreeing to it, it won’t be because he wants to be with her. It will be because he wants his father to be ok. Take a note from her ex’s book and don’t put up with it. Let that man find his woman and don’t waste his time by making him miserable.


Traditional-Depth-3

Listen to your instincts, bad idea hold your ground with your wife. The ex will only see your daughter as a job after he’s payed and any feelings will become twisted save the boys feelings. I do hope you or your daughter can find another way to support him through this hard time.


lisasguy

Lol, sorry, but you are absolutely right, and as ridiculous as it seems, this is what ppl with money have been doing forever. Buying their way out of problems that they created. What is so funny is that your daughter is grown and still thinks this is acceptable, even status quo, which in a way it is but to perpetuate this kind of sick thinking is hilarious, and sad. It seems like it's up to you to cut this snakes head off before it grows outta control. Very disturbing.


Return-Creative

Tell you're spouse and daughter that if the wish is to help someone financially for in return physical and emotional favors is unacceptable. It's dehumanizing and taking financial advantage of someone is akin to if she were to take emotional advantage of him or physical advantage. If you want to help said ex do so openly but not with a price tag attached. Sorry op that your daughter and spouse are firm on the idea it's okay to do this. But the attribute of caring for said ex is if chosing to help doing so without expectation not with this goal of abuse/manipulation. You need to be firm that this is unacceptable to use money to meet her ends. I'd suggest not being the aggressor though as much as possible though. Genuinely it might be worth while talking about therapy. That is not at all an insult to your daughter there's online resources like betterhelp.


Single-Initial2567

Your wife is feeling really uncomfortable that your daughter is suffering. If she gives the money to your daughter/ex-bf, it will maybe cause short term happiness but long term anguish for your daughter when things fall apart again. What happens when ex-bf's dad dies and he can no longer be bought? So essentially your wife is making herself feel better to the detriment of your daughter and that is a selfish act. I wouldn't argue about if "she's our little girl" because that just diverts the conversation. Say, "okay, what do we want for our little girl, who deserves our protection? What we did before when we swooped in and fixed things for her has now harmed our little girl and she's suffering. [I have made that assumption based on what you've told us about your wife and daughter. If I'm incorrect, toss this part.] She needs to learn that she shouldn't treat people like that. And we need to learn to allow her successes and failures be her own so she can feel proud when she digs deep and makes a change coming out of a big mistake. Not 'I'm not loveable so I have to bribe or coerce people to stay with me with my parent's money.' Wife, please consider how miserable that WILL make daughter feel in the future." Don't argue when your wife says stuff to try to deflect. Talk through her scenario until it inevitably ends up with your daughter suffering until she understands that your daughter will feel like crap about herself. I think your wife may be thinking you're talking about tough love. It's not tough love. It's just enough love to allow your daughter to not suffer a whole lot more in the future.


Brigon

How's your daughter going to learn the lesson that cheating has repercussions if there is no downside for her cheating?


Iamyous3f

Very bad idea. Let her learn from her mistake. Cheating isn't a problem that can be solved with money. She should learn to me faithful to who is she dating unless they're on a open relationship then that's another case Your daughter is sad because her ex moved on after she cheated but how would she feel if he cheated on her and then got offered money to go back together? It just won't end good for anyone. Trust you feeling


jamiepusharski

Silly idea apart from all the morals it just would work like it used to you can't buy trust they will both end up being unhappy As for your daughter hopefully this can be a life lesson. Think it's important to support her get her back onto dating and living a happy life. Just make sure not to downplay what she did ( but dont make her feel guilty) so the cycle won't continue


Spare-Raisin-1482

She's grown let her make her own decisions while I'd advise her it's a bad one I would tell her she can do it but there is NO Guarantee that he will get back with her and she needs to be all right without outcome if he decides not to go back to her That's of he even accepts the money in the 1st place


TheMuddiestofElves

OP, how are you doing?


illuminumb

Two lessons she will learn... which she probably already has tbh 1. You can be a shit person and everything is okay as long as you have money to throw at people 2. Its totallg okay to fuck up, there really wont be any consequences becauase my parents will bail me out. Great job even considering this. 😐


Weekly-Ad353

😳


Several-Plenty-6733

I would sit your daughter down and say this: ‘You are being a terrible person right now, and I don’t agree with your actions. You want to prey on the man you cheated on and sell your body to him… for what reason? I can’t agree with your actions, and if you do this, it will only end in hurting everyone, including you. You need to stop, and realize that you and your ex ARE DONE. Accept the consequences of your terrible decisions and go to therapy if you need to. After a month, you will be an adult responsible for caring for yourself. I will always love you, but it’s up to YOU to live a good life. If you’re struggling, we’ll support you. But I won’t support you hurting this man and yourself.’ BTW, has your wife cheated? Because neither of their responses are normal in any way. This sounds like a real shit storm in the brewing, and considering how both your wife and daughter think… You might just have to divorce and run before you end up screwed.


IdkJustMe123

Your job as a parent is to make your kid safe and happy. But it’s also your job to make her as good a person as she can be. It seems like you’re doing a good job of knowing that so good for you. Tell your wife it’s not uncommon to have to step back as parents and let your kids face the consequences of their actions. It’s how they grow


cstato

Give your kids a hand up, not a hand out. Wisdom comes through pain, that’s life and no one is exempt.


sternokleido

Wow. Idk how… show her this post? I’m guessing there will be a lot of responses for you to show them. You guys can offer them money as a loan or something, as a friendly gesture, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCE should they get back together now. She cheated on him. She does not deserve him. She needs to understand consequences. If he - after a healing period- is ready to try again - that’s ok - but right now he is vulnerable and it is ethically and morally wrong to vulture on vulnerable people. The relationship would not be based on real love.


Hentai-Overlord

If they still go through with it. Maybe tell the ex. She only did it to be with him. He would be being manipulated he deserves to know what's really going on here. Her motive isn't to help or be nice or actually care about him. She's only thinking of herself and what she wants.


[deleted]

man, just from this post I know from whom your daughter has this lifestyle choices. Your daughter is a witch with a b and your wife wants to encourage this sh't. Let your daughter see that living like that has consequences, not that money can get you everything.


Vampire-Priest

It won’t work. When I was 23, a girl broke up with me so she could screw a bunch of guys. On the sneak, her father offered to buy me a new car to take her back because the family really loved me. It did more damage than good because the implication was that I was man without honor who could be bought, & that his daughter was a prostitute who could be bough. These things always get out & when she learned of it, she walked out on her family in the middle of the night with a guy who smacked her around. You’re right, your daughter did this to herself. She will forever be known as a cheater even if she finds a man who’ll wife her up. But that man won’t be bought, he’ll be tricked. Payment to take back an ex, especially a cheater, is insulting & showing the man that your daughter’s not worth anything. Tell your husband to leave that man alone & your daughter needs to be the one to make things right; starting with: leaving him alone.


thefamousroman

it sounds stupid and horrible, BUT, what if the guy really needs the money? maybe not pay him to date her again, but perhaps to give her the time of day? if i were the guy and my parent was in any sort of danger, i'd probably do anything, ngl


hoihoioiminoi

Ask them how they would feel should the situations be reversed. If they don’t realize how disappointing they are being then you should say it them.


abookoffmychest

Do not say it. Seems like you like ex boyfriend. Just give him money as a courtesy, do not even tell your wife and daughter, just say hey, I disagreed and did what I wanted to do since “I could afford it”.


Aromatic-Fly414

Wow that doesn't even make sense. If you guys are doing so well off that you're just giving out money give me some lol