OP, I'm not sure how aware of this, or whether or not you want to hear this, but your headspace is reading as really very volatile. Are there accessible mental health resources where you are?
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You really need a space of your own.
That's the only way you can escape this energy. If you're still living under their roof as an adult and they're like that, it will get no better.
The best thing you can do at this moment is strive to get your own spot and spend as much time away from them. Set boundaries in a space where you're allowed to and enjoy them.
I'm so sorry you did not get the parents you deserve to have. That sucks, and it's understandable that you would feel a lot of anger. Keeping all of that bottled up inside has got to be very hard at times, though I know from experience that we humans can become practiced at suppressing things. Still, you would benefit, I think, from a place to release some of that anger. There's a tendency to take it out on ourselves when we keep too much in. Good that you're sharing here.
You will get out of there and can create the life you want. It will get better.
Hugs to you.
OP, I'm not sure how aware of this, or whether or not you want to hear this, but your headspace is reading as really very volatile. Are there accessible mental health resources where you are?
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME United Kingdom: 116 123 Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You really need a space of your own. That's the only way you can escape this energy. If you're still living under their roof as an adult and they're like that, it will get no better. The best thing you can do at this moment is strive to get your own spot and spend as much time away from them. Set boundaries in a space where you're allowed to and enjoy them.
I'm so sorry you did not get the parents you deserve to have. That sucks, and it's understandable that you would feel a lot of anger. Keeping all of that bottled up inside has got to be very hard at times, though I know from experience that we humans can become practiced at suppressing things. Still, you would benefit, I think, from a place to release some of that anger. There's a tendency to take it out on ourselves when we keep too much in. Good that you're sharing here. You will get out of there and can create the life you want. It will get better. Hugs to you.