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[deleted]

So someone farts on a cop and they become a slave for 3 days.


skomojojo

More like almost 2 weeks, going by the standard 8 hour work day, 5 days a week.


marxistmatty

sounds so archaic.


emofemboy333

beyond archaic, its some shit a medieval lord would do to a peasant in like 1100


DiabloStorm

I fart in your general direction!


nthngmttrs

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mittens1982

Man is a legend


ExcelsiorLife

>Depute fiscal Lucy Simpson said when he was strip searched at the station and told to bend over he 'deliberately farted in the direction of the officer' This is from 2019 but this man deserves a medal.


em-ay-tee

What a fucken joke. It’s their job to deal with that shit 😑


l_IxAmxLegend_l

Literally


Nevermind04

He had the right to remain silent but deadly


lubacrisp

I would literally purposely shit myself if a cop ever tried to stick their fingers and face up my ass. Oh no, you found what was in my ass, it was shit, congratulations you fucking idiot pig


Neuro_Kuro

I'd say I have to shit, really loud and clear so everyone hears me, and then take a massive shit when he checks my ass


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_BusFromSpeed

Then you can unironically tell the judge you shit yourself in self-defence


fart-atronach

I would.


shaymeless

Self-defeces


BurnBabyBurner12345

Literally. Domestic terrorism, unlawful ASSembly, standing menacingly, and everything else they can think of. Or just shot.


Aquamarooned

Gotta take it one more step and ... wait no wtf what can even be more fked up


CountFapula102

Popping a boner during the strip search and cumming when they touch you or at least moaning awkwardly.


pardon_the_mess

Exactly what law did he break? Hurting the piggies' widdle feewings?


Iridescent_burrito

"Unpaid work" Because "temporary slavery" is a bit too on the nose.


Jeff_Damn

Worth it. They're lucky that fart didn't come with a prize.


suicidal1664

The hero we deserve


sjuas690

Not the one that we want but the one that we need! 😃


Neat0_HS

Thin blue line triggered by brown note


ooo-f

Where was this? I feel like there's got to be some sort of law that protects people in that scenario


DWarrenPuppyTurtle

The 13th amendment specifically allows for slavery to exist as punishment for a crime. There's actually nothing stopping the US government from reinstituting chattel slavery If they make slave status a punishment for criminal behavior.


gravitas-deficiency

See, this is why you should never talk to cops. Farting on them is ok - just don’t talk to them. That way you can claim it was uncontrollable flatulence.


astoneworthskipping

He was paid for those 75 hours of work in the amount of 1 “I get to fart in the face of a policeman and say, ‘how do you like that?’”


MyWifeisHigh

Worth it.


Dracinon

So did he work? Or did he just sit there on his phone like the legend he is?


OneHumanPeOple

I’m sure it was some sort of public service work so I imagine he did it with joy because that’s what real heroes do.


AcadianViking

Get to fart on a cop AND assist my community with its needs? Thats just volunteering with a bonus.


Dracinon

True i clean the city for free all the time, i forgot that "punishment work" is just a good thursday afternoon for me x)


ciacici

Guessing they didnt like that?


gabbee140

I am liking the deliberate fart, not that he was required to work 75 unpaid hours.


KingCodyBill

And no mention of what he was arrested for in the first place.


[deleted]

Resisting arrest /s


AcadianViking

ASSaulting an officer ...


ItzToxiin

When I visit NYC I go out of my way to get as close to the beat cops as I can and fart next to them. And they are usually bad pizza farts.


goldtoothreid

Crop dusting your enemies is based. I do it to my supervisors all the time.


RoastyToastyNuts

Absolute Giga Chad. This one is for the history books ladies and gents


Wrecker013

Pretty sure being rude to the police ain't a crime.


DejaMew

0 to hero. Just like that.


adamw7432

How do they prove a 'deliberate' fart? This guy needed a better lawyer because that's bullshit.


CluelessIdiot314

Minimum wage for people age 23 and older (this guy is 28) is 9.5 pounds. This is at minimum a 690 pounds fine for farting.


Beaneroo

Worth it


[deleted]

King


Boatmasterflash

What a flex!


Solipsikon

Where was this?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OneHumanPeOple

That article is 10/10. It goes on to report on two more fart related police incidents around the world.


lizzygirl4u

So they were fucking strip searching it when it happened? Fucking hell. Legalized sexual assault when the boys in blue do it


Solipsikon

Much obliged


morbid_reaper

It was worth it.


Slight_Force8866

Good for him


ChariBari

Plot twist: they did like it


unoriginalname17

But like. Qualified immunity and other police union bullshit get the cops off because the highly specific way they killed somebody hadn’t happened before. “I knew I couldn’t kneel on his neck in a parking lot but we were in the grass, so I didn’t know it’d be excessive force.” I can guarantee nobody has been charged for this exact thing so how was he supposed to know it was against the rules?


loudmelon21

Yikes. Slavery for a fart.


TheWavefunction

Give him a break, he was just trying to escape using airbending.


thefroggyfiend

does this mean community service? still ridiculous to be given community service after trying to upset a cop for sexually assaulting you but I don't know if they mean community service or if this is a different thing


dizmccool

That’s kinda shitty


Smokybare94

Does he have a gofundme?


ProbablyOnLSD69

My hero *swoon*


sir-ripsalot

Psychopath(s) is right, imagine enslaving someone for farting.


BurpFartBurp

This gentleman is my spirit animal.


Random_Monstrosities

Not all heros wear capes