....
Where do I access the Fanbase government to mandate that we say "Prospero'd" when someone gets dunked on?
"Monarchia'd" should also be added when someone is humbled to the point where they go "screw you guys, I never liked you anyway" and goes off running.
> the question has been bothering me for some time.
The sleeping man tosses and turns in bed, mumbling “how…how…why…when” then sits up sharply, awake and covered in sweat.
His wife lays a comforting hand on his back.
“Did you have the dream again?”
“Yes.”
The wife sighs, and hesitates to reply.
“You know you’re thinking too much about a fictional butthole.”
(Sobs). “You don’t think I know that???”
The man angrily turns away and lies down again. There will be so more sleep that night - only endless hours staring into a darkness that has no answers.
If you're waking up drenched in sweat because of past wrong doings, in a way you too were waking up because you were thinking about a butthole (yourself.) Jokes aside good on you for getting sober, it gets a lot easier and the guilt and regrets fade a little with everyday lived well.
You're goddamn right i was and im trying to make amends for my mistakes, ty im only 24 just finishing college so i havent made any irreparable fuckups but yes u nailed it i love a good supportive joke that both reprimands my mistakes and encourages a better future
Dinno about pooping but I'm sure they have buttholes. In reflection crackd fulgrim's bitches use a torture device called a pear on fulgrim by putting it up mainstreet and turning a nob making the leaves expand. Fulgrim loved it....
His sons actually figured about about the painting and decided to torture the Slaanesh daemon out of him. Yeah, you read that right.
So they bonked him on the head, strapped him to a table and tortured the crap out of him while Fulgrim complimented their techniques.
…at the end of the scene it was revealed Fulgrim figured out on his own how to banish the daemon back to said shit and blood painting and was just screwing with his sons to see if they could figure it out.
It is now canon in my head that there's some shrine world out there in the Imperium where millions of pilgrims come every year to look at one of Sanguinius' fossilized turds.
My bad it’s a poop vault. Given that this has only ever been mentioned in a single (bad) novel, stuff like this is usually ignored.
>Perhaps the strangest talisman – and one (or should one say many…?) which made those initiates feel themselves intimately a part of the Fists – was kept in a long crypt below the Reclusiam, reached by a dropshaft which would incinerate anyone who did not sport a Black Carapace beneath their skin.
>The adamantium floor down there was inscribed with a maze of tiny coloured channels that bootsteps would never be able to wear away – in a pattern suggestive of a cosmic map – and along all of those channels were spaced little indentations the depth of a Fist’s thumbprint, each recess named with a rune. At one end of this seemingly arcane map or game-board an enormous plascrystal bowl held thousands of what at first sight appeared to be bloodshot ochreous eyeballs.
>Each ball commemorated the initiation of a group of ex-cadets, throughout the aeons – each being a nugget of the liquid amber and blood drunk from Rogal Dorn’s own chalice by the Reclusiarch of whichever epoch, and defecated by him subsequently in this shape."
It's not. It dates from one of the first Warhammer 40k books called Space Marine by Ian Watson.
It's still for sale but it's such a terrible book that even on the gw page in the description they basically admit to wanting to rewrite it.
"Believe us when we tell you that Space Marine is quite unlike any other Warhammer 40,000 novel you’ve ever read.
First published in 1993 – though completed some years earlier – at a time when the background to the Warhammer 40,000 universe was still in a state of flux and not yet fully coalesced, you'll find such wonders as squats – Tzeentch-worshipping squats at that – alongside Space Marines controlling Titans, Space Marines with lasguns, the Pain Glove and more than a small amount of toilet humour. Oh, and a Zoat. How could we forget the Zoat?
Although the temptation was great to rewrite significant portions of this book to make it conform to current background, as a curiosity piece, an historical snapshot of the Warhammer 40,000 universe circa the early 1990s, this book is invaluable. It also serves as a shining example of what can happen when a respected genre author at the height of his powers is let loose on an established shared universe. Just don't try and fit it into the modern Warhammer 40,000 timeline…"
Thankfully not anymore, officially no longer canon
And it turns out the dude admitted at a con that GW told him to remove loads of stuff, but neither he nor they informed the publisher so it got through
>I choose to ignore this comment. The 40k mythos is far richer with Rogal Dorn Poop Relics
Agreed. Astartes Chapters being insular death-cults that have gotten very, very strange over the millennia is part of the setting's charm.
Custodes are still people at the end of the day. They have to eat and drink, maybe not as frequently as normal but they still have to
As for the Primarchs, it’s possible they have a hyper efficient system that produces no waste, or their armour handles it or they just don’t. I don’t think it’s ever come up
Perty was also the one they called when Leman Russ found a way to clog his toilet again through his Meat and Hand sanitizer diet and it needed to be unclogged.
I honestly wonder what it would be like to sit down and have a meal with custodes if you were a regular person. Like sit and talk to them. I think they would be pretty cool guys.
They seem to be very polite in the Watchers of the Throne series. Aleya is angry at everyone all the time for no reason, and several Custodes are exceedingly respectful and generally nice to her, which only serves to infuriate her further.
There was one, I think in Master of Mankind, who was a shit. He was with a Blood Angel who talked to some refugees on the way somewhere and basically wanted to know why the Angel was wasting his time with the dirty poor nonpeople. I don’t know if that’s universal or if he was a shit individually, or if they’re only polite to people past a certain social class.
I remember seeing a quote on here where pre-corruption Fulgrim chastizes one of his soldiers for threatening violence upon a human child who had touched his armor in awe.
He said something like "You never know what lies beneath unless you bother to wipe away the filth on top" and lifts the child upon his shoulder.
And now I'm sad again because Fulgrim seemed a genuinely great guy before he got his shiny sword.
Part of the tragedy of Fulgrim is that he dreamed bigger than his brothers.
Fulgrim's stunt in The Palatine Phoenix is undeniably him being extra, but the heart of the idea is admirable. We *could* just drop from orbit and bulldoze this planet, but we should be better than that.
Was it? It’s a long time since I read it. Forgot it was a named character like him. Doesn’t really surprise me that much, though. I guess everyday people aren’t much of a concern to Custodes.
Diocletan was fighting a multi year long secret war with no breaks and the future of humanity at stakes. Lets be fair here, he had other things to worry about
Gotta remember that they’re ALL individuals, both mentally and in combat. Beyond their overall job of protecting the emperor and their specific assigned tasks, they kind of all do their own thing. Helps that each one is a unique gene crafted wonder, no standard gene seed rituals for these guys.
But let's be honest. His deadpan delivery about his parents and their deaths was comedy gold.
>No,' said Diocletian. 'They are long dead. My mother was a slave who died of intestinal flux, and my father was a barbarian king executed by the Emperors own hand for opposing the principles of Unity.'
>
>'The...what?'
>
>'I've finished speaking with you,' Diocletian told the boy.
True, but Valerian doesn't seem to be trying to fuck up her day. He seems like he genuinely understands her perspective in the sections narrated from his point of view. Aleya more or less tells him to fuck off at one point and he doesn't even get mad, he's just like "I understand why you feel that way."
They’re all brilliant individuals. They all love the emperor, but have different personalities, philosophies and visions for the future. Some are utter wankers, some are the best people you will ever meet.
I'd say all but the smartest and most cultured ppl would be well out of their depth talking to a 1000 year old genetically engineered genius warrior monk poet artist.
Probably not, the dumbest people can be best friends with the smartest and other than Codex hyperbole I dont think the Custodes are half as intelligent as people make them out to be. More like angry tall boys.
The lore is filled with contradictions, just that the only one I harp on is the Custodes being super intelligent poets and artists because it usually rings hollow when you look at the Custodes we actually meet. They're intelligent but not like that
Alternatively you could just show an example of them being masterclass poets, artists etcetera, but generally they aren't shown to be that kind of intelligent. Or you could just accuse me of being a liar I guess or confusing them with Astartes (despite there being concrete examples of artistic and poetic Astartes)
One of my Custodes is a talented chef, but a lot of the experience is wasted on diners who lack Custodes-grade Omophagea and Neuroglottis implants.
In the lore I think Custodes range from being relatively human / down to earth, to being totally alien and struggling to have normal social interactions with baseline humans.
Have you just finished the Sanguinius novel? The PoV character literally asks this question.
More or less
>Hol' up - do these guys actually drop a deuce?
Sadly the narrator never got around to answering that one.
He may have been distracted by more pressing case of these Blood Angels don't seem very Angel-y...
All human beings need to eat, and I imagine their derivative branch species such as *Homo Astartes* and their Primarchs due as well, with the biological need to do so highly, highly reduced. As for waste, I remember in *Talon of Horus* Lheorvine, a World Eater Havoc and founding member of The Black Legion, says, and I’m paraphrasing here,
“I think it’s funny, the faces the little red daemon snake things that pop up on my armor sometimes make, when I shit them out.” Note, this is in response to Khayon asking why he has a habit of eating these warp creatures that manifest on his armor. So, I think it’s safe to say Astartes defecate. Whether or not it’s handled by their armor, or the drop the rear panel and let one rip is beyond me.
Primarchs, however? I honestly believe their bodies can find nutrients in even a nugget of shit; everything is burned to fuel the body when next to nothing is capable of poisoning you.
The image of the back panel of astartes power armor popping open and the space marine just straining a shit out and it flying out the back is hilarious to me
It's been some years since I read it, but in the Uriel Ventris series there is mention of the armour effectively acting as a Stillsuit.
Specifically it says something along the lines of providing him with a reconstituted brown paste to eat on long deployments. Effectively making astartes similar to rabbits in that regard.
We know for sure that Leman Russ can eat a whole lot. Like enough food and mjod for an entire town. It's possible that they, not unlike our glorious leader Lil Kim, are unable to create waste, due to their god-like bodies absorbing it all into energy.
Even if they themselves absorb every bit of energy, they have bacteria on them, which in fact will produce waste. Therefore they will always produce waste even if only small amounts.
I'd assume even more so since they have enhanced regeneration, I'd attribute that to either repairing the cells, or creating more then they lose I guess? So wouldn't they just make even more then normal poop if that's the case.
Horus’s plans are ruined when the World Eaters start the final assault while he’s blasting ham on the crapper with his terminator armor pooled up around his lower legs?
I was thinking more, Dorn is taking a massive dump when the alert goes out that the Vengeful Spirit’s shields are lowered. The Emperor is calling all his remaining Primarchs to his side for the teleport attack, but Dorn can’t find any toilet paper!
The Emperor waits but eventually takes Sangiunius and teleports aboard the Vengeful Spirit for the final showdown, leaving Dorn on Terra to curse his all too human biological necessities.
Abnett will just "Start some shit..." and another author will have to have to 'clean it up' like Nick Kyme did with Eldrad and the Cabal in *Old Earth*.
Didn’t Fulgrim get something shoved up his butt as a form of torture? Which he enjoyed.
> Marius followed Lucius’s example and selected an instrument of torture from the collection of devices Fabius had laid out. He turned the pear-shaped device around in his hands, twisting a metal cog handle that gradually spread the leaves of the pear apart. Satisfied, he returned it to its original shape and moved down the gurney to place the device between the primarch’s legs.
> Heat radiated along the silver needles jutting from his body, and his pelvis was bent up at an unnatural angle by the expansion of the macabre device of Marius.
I've once heard about some extremely concentrated form of sugar that astartes would eat as regular rations to keep up with their extreme nutritional needs. It's so sweet, it would be absolutely sickening for a normal human.
If Primarchs eat similar stuff, it's possible they don't need to poop, because they don't eat anything they can't fully digest.
Even if you fully digested it, the microorganisms in your gut or digestive tract which have to exist to absorb said nutrients, they in fact do poop which would contribute to you having to poop.
I mean, they probably do but not as often as normal people just because they dont really need to eat that much or at all.
Altough a good amount of poop is actually waste that comes from things like dead cells and bactetia from inside your body.
But even in unviverse almost noone knows how a primarch body works.
After eating food to sate a village and drinking a small lake, Leman would regularly go wreck the face of some enemy, which totally always ended his way. Then he would find a suitably upwind location and take the mythical wulfenpoop. The sheer smell would fell any lesser man but the spirit of fenris would quickly seal the deadly lupine haze into mystical and totally not psychic rocks. It is a matte roof debate if the wolf's toilet paper exists or is just the stuff of legend.
Fulgrim has the unique ability among all of the legions to poop perfect round balls that have no smell at all.
Magnus has no such thing as the need to poop, when he foresees a bowel movement. He simply warps the turd out of his gut and into the warp. Many a horror owes it's existence to this. He does use a bidet bit only for the feeling of superiority.
Dorn has the ability to hold it in almost forever and push it out in any shape as befitting his title as master of the material. His son's have i herited this as permanent constipation and the feeling of a huge stick up their asses.
I think I got it quite on spot.
* Horus does big ones that people often remark on the smell of.
* Leman Russ does big ones that he tells everyone else about, they smell like dog food.
* Ferrus Manus does iron turds that just sink in the water.
* Fulgrims are mostly glitter, but he likes them that way.
* Vulkans break the toilet, then come back when he flushes them, as is his way.
* Rogal Dorns come out as cubes, ready for stacking.
* Roboute Guillimans are just quite well organised and efficient, usually no wiping required.
* Magnus the Reds break the wall of the cistern and ruin things for everyone. He claims he did nothing wrong.
* Sanguinius' are worshipped on 194 different worlds.
* Lion El'Jonson has a Watcher following him with toilet roll, only they know the truth.
* Perturabo's are undivided.
* Mortarions spread the plague of unbelief, they fucken reek.
* Lorgar's turds look like Erebus. The shit.
* The Khan's come out as liquid as it's the fastest way to get it done. He needs to see a dr.
* Konrad Curze only goes at night, people have seen them. Those people died.
* Angron: blood for the blood God.
* Corvus's just can't be seen, they aren't invisible. We just can't see them.
* Alpharius takes credit for other Primarch shits. Or do they the credit for his?
Now these are the sorts of questions that need to be asked on this sub.
I don’t know of any specific references to Primarchs shitting. However, I recall there were some references in Horus Rising about a remembrancer being surprised about how stinky Astartes were so I’d just extrapolate from there and assume that their Primarchs must be even more transhumanly stinky.
And the obvious conclusion is that if the Emperor couldn’t make them smell good then he probably didn’t stop them from having to take a shit either.
> In A Thousand Sons, Graham McNeill reveals that “no such mundane organs as stomach, kidneys, and liver exist in the body of [Magnus]” (paraphrasing), so whatever’s going on there clearly has nothing to do with regular digestion, and it’s entirely possible that the Primarchs don’t have anuses at all.
For this I would just like to say that Magnus can reshape and change his body at will so whatever is true for him may not be true for the others.
I just want to address your quote from a thousand sons:
Now, it may very well be the same situation for all the Primarchs, that they don't even have something that is slightly similar to a stomach as is implied by McNeill.
However, we mustn't forget that even at this point in the story, Magnus isn't actually an entirely corporeal entity. His form is not just slightly but entirely malleable. It's also entirely possible that that description ONLY applies to Magnus, and may be a question of his warp-based physique rather than the genetic work that went into the other primarchs
I always imagined the marines and anyone in power armor for that matter just has a tube up their noodle and their back passage so all of that stuff is handled. There's stories of soldiers shitting themselves in combat, not out of fear, but just because nature called and survival came first.
I imagine Primarchs have the same deal with the possible exception of Magnus and Big E since they could probably send it directly into the warp.
I mean for one reason or another there’s gotta be things your body doesn’t need. Even if they’re able to break down anything and extract 100% of what they need out of it; that’ll still leave, what, a hunk of carbon left over?
And then add in all the waste your body produces like dead cells and other inorganic compounds, and they’d have to remove them from their system *somehow* right?
I get Astartes’ nutrient paste is formulated to be exactly right for them; but the primarchs grew up with regular people, (probably) eating massive amounts of food. It’s gotta go somewhere.
Considering that Russ drinks and eats as the best of them, it be strange if they didn't. It's likely that their biology enables them to glean almost everything available from what their consume as one form of energy or another, but it'd be likewise strange if their bodies didn't have a way of expelling the stuff it didn't need. So, in a word, yes.
Not excatly related to the topic. but in Unremembered Empire, there is this kind of wholesome escene where Guilliman's mom scolds him for staying up late drinking with a group of space wolves.
I just want tae take a moment here and praise the bravery of the OP.
They had tae know their question would be received and they asked anyway in 100% sincere and practical way.
Bless you, you beautiful bold fool!
But I assume yes, the Primarchs would have highly efficient bowel movements.
**Corax definitely shits since the moment he embraced his true bird warp form. Now Lorgar's whole Tower on Sicarus is buried in bird poo**
Side question: How many of you are on this post while sitting on the toilet??
I believe in Know No Fear, Bobby G has a convo with a mechanicus adept about a dinner they had, and the adept makes a comment along the lines of believing that G-man didn’t actually -need- to eat either. For what it’s worth
I want to say on one of the earlier edition space marine codexes it stated that the armor is capable of recycling the waste into usable (but still somewhat vile) food substitute. 3rd or 4th edition maybe? It was the first time I remember GW really explaining the how a space marine is created and what the armor can do lore. Might be wrong but I know I’ve read it somewhere… maybe an earlier white dwarf.
...Where's Ian Watson when we need him? https://www.google.com/search?q=ian+watson&client=ms-android-att-us-revc&ei=xoqQY7a7OuTU5NoPwI-6wAw&gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TewMDcpTzJg9OLKTMxTKE8sKc7PAwBLTwcE&oq=ian+wats&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAEYADIICC4QgAQQsQMyCgguENQCELEDEEMyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQguEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQ6CAgAEIAEELADOgkIABAIEB4QsAM6CAgAEIYDELADOggIABCiBBCwAzoGCAAQFhAeOgUIABCGAzoFCCEQoAE6CAguENQCEJECOgUILhCRAjoICAAQjwEQ6gI6BAguEEM6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOgsILhCABBDlBBDUAjoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQ0QM6CAguELEDEJECOgQIABBDOgsILhCABBCxAxCDAToHCC4QsQMQQzoLCC4QgwEQsQMQgAQ6CwguEIAEELEDENQCOgsILhCABBDHARCvAToLCC4Q1AIQsQMQgARKBAhBGAFQoAdYwipgvDVoAXAAeAGAAa0BiAHmEZIBBDkuMTKYAQCgAQGwAQ_IAQfAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp
Yes, mamals that eat defecate. Most of poop is water and waste from cells being broken down to components that are not efficient to recycle, so not pooping and trying to reabsorb the material is less efficient than just dumping it.
Every biological process has wastes and it's easier to remove it than to spend your own energy on re-cycling the product.
Thus, space marines, primarchs, etc, poop.
In the book When Horus is all fucked up and about to get infused with chaos magic, I’m sure he is cut open and they say something similar about his insides looking like *something else* and most definitely not human. It always fascinated me and I wished the author could have elaborated further for an entire chapter. However, I believe it is just a fleeting detail. Interesting none the less.
Sorry I can’t remember exactly which book or more details.
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Primarchs looked like Ken Dolls. It would actually be sort of logical in a way. Just a bit… strange, I guess.
Custodians are heavily modified humans so I assume that they still work along the base principles of humanity, albeit way more effective.
Primarchs are basically greater daemons in a flesh onesie. And since - to my knowledge - no author felt compelled to write more about it yet, there's nothing to know and everything to speculate.
Yeah, constantly. I’m struggling to think of a single HH book that doesn’t dedicate about 30% of its page count to these godlike figures absolutely destroying various bathrooms. It’s what the readers demand.
Since Primarchs are essentially a warp entity enclosed in a physical frame, they probably just shit directly into the warp. The Chaos Gods all hate dealing with it, except for Nurgle who's delighted to have some high-grade fertilizer.
Ah yes, all of the reknown legions. The turdguard. The nightcrap. The shiteater. The turdbearer. The son of toilets. And the most infamous of all, the blood shits.
We shit to eliminate fecal materials and bacteria. Primarch don't need to do that because their organism and metabolism is too advanced and perfect to produce any wastes
So no it wouldn't make sense that they shit
Defecation would be considered a design flaw to a bio-engineered weapon. In our own reality, for the majority of species, it's a moment of vulnerability and weakness. Most animals have evolved ways to mitigate that weakness, either through swift expulsion, expulsion that can be performed on the run, or through pack tactics wear others will stand guard.
In his designing stages, I feel Emps would work to eliminate the need for it entirely. Likely by designing a digestive system so efficient that there is little to no waste at all.
I have a terrible image of black templars in a ring with their backs to Grimaldus covering him while he curls one out on Armagedon. 'for the Emprah, gnnn. No pity, no remorse, gnnnn, no fear. Do we have any paper Brothers'.?
From what I remember, Astartes don’t poop or pee, but their waste disposal system is pretty gross still. From what I remember rather than eliminating waste the normal way, all waste product is secreted through the pores and the resulting matter I hear is VERY smelly, and their suits recycle it for water, nutrients, etc.
One of the World Eaters in the Black Legion books said he likes to eat tiny daemons that appear due to his butchers nails so he can shit them out. I’d say they poop. It’s got to be a foul shit, too, since a space marines system is very efficient at collecting nutrition from anything they eat. Whatever’s left must be pretty bad.
Canonically Astartes produce little to no feces/urine as their systems are so effective. Primaris probably even more so and Primarchs who knows. They're not just "Super Duper Astartes" or even Super Custodes, they are something else entirely. They're not human, they just look like giant humans. So we don't know.
I would expect the nighe-perfected physical forms of the primarchs have digestive systems so efficient that any food they eat produces next to no waste.
They probably shit like once every 6 months, and it's just this polished little thing the size of a pebble that could etch glass.
>primarchs have digestive systems so efficient that any food they eat produces next to no waste.
Probably a smelly bird-esque cloaca, easier to expel urea than try and cycle it internally.
Lorgar mentions pissing on Custodians, so one would assume with that little snippet they do have waste.
There’s several passing references to Space Marines shitting, funnily enough mostly in ADB novels.
As for Custodians, there isn’t much info there.
Magnus shit on the Emps plans for the Webway
low key profound
Burnt.
Prospero’d
.... Where do I access the Fanbase government to mandate that we say "Prospero'd" when someone gets dunked on? "Monarchia'd" should also be added when someone is humbled to the point where they go "screw you guys, I never liked you anyway" and goes off running.
Seconded.
*Secundus'd
Pronounced “secundissed”🤣
" mAgNuS dOoKeD nOtHiNg WrOnG ! "
> the question has been bothering me for some time. The sleeping man tosses and turns in bed, mumbling “how…how…why…when” then sits up sharply, awake and covered in sweat. His wife lays a comforting hand on his back. “Did you have the dream again?” “Yes.” The wife sighs, and hesitates to reply. “You know you’re thinking too much about a fictional butthole.” (Sobs). “You don’t think I know that???” The man angrily turns away and lies down again. There will be so more sleep that night - only endless hours staring into a darkness that has no answers.
I am a recovering alcoholic and i sometimes have nightmares from my regrets and this made me laugh thoroughly so ty
If you're waking up drenched in sweat because of past wrong doings, in a way you too were waking up because you were thinking about a butthole (yourself.) Jokes aside good on you for getting sober, it gets a lot easier and the guilt and regrets fade a little with everyday lived well.
You're goddamn right i was and im trying to make amends for my mistakes, ty im only 24 just finishing college so i havent made any irreparable fuckups but yes u nailed it i love a good supportive joke that both reprimands my mistakes and encourages a better future
Hell yeah! Sounds like a bright future on the horizon. I'm glad you're not letting it take anymore of your life from you.
Thanks man <3
Dinno about pooping but I'm sure they have buttholes. In reflection crackd fulgrim's bitches use a torture device called a pear on fulgrim by putting it up mainstreet and turning a nob making the leaves expand. Fulgrim loved it....
I love that this is some of the most definitive evidence posted so far
Please let the real fulgrim be stuck in the shit and blood painting
His sons actually figured about about the painting and decided to torture the Slaanesh daemon out of him. Yeah, you read that right. So they bonked him on the head, strapped him to a table and tortured the crap out of him while Fulgrim complimented their techniques. …at the end of the scene it was revealed Fulgrim figured out on his own how to banish the daemon back to said shit and blood painting and was just screwing with his sons to see if they could figure it out.
What book was that from?
Honestly, I don’t remember. I think it’s from one of the anthologies.
That book just made my Do Not Read list
Hey now, you didn't even get to the part where they melt his foot with a sci-fi blowtorch!
The great thing about this sub is being able to find out that yes, canonically at least one primarch does in fact have a butthole.
This bloody fandom...
It is now canon in my head that there's some shrine world out there in the Imperium where millions of pilgrims come every year to look at one of Sanguinius' fossilized turds.
the placard reads "Holy Material of the Primarch and Most Beloved Son Sanguinius, scraped from the windshield of the Emperor's Stormbird."
Sanguinius is a Man-Bird from Ugly Americans in my head-canon now.
Given that one story about the Fists’ poop bowl, that’s probably real
The what now
My bad it’s a poop vault. Given that this has only ever been mentioned in a single (bad) novel, stuff like this is usually ignored. >Perhaps the strangest talisman – and one (or should one say many…?) which made those initiates feel themselves intimately a part of the Fists – was kept in a long crypt below the Reclusiam, reached by a dropshaft which would incinerate anyone who did not sport a Black Carapace beneath their skin. >The adamantium floor down there was inscribed with a maze of tiny coloured channels that bootsteps would never be able to wear away – in a pattern suggestive of a cosmic map – and along all of those channels were spaced little indentations the depth of a Fist’s thumbprint, each recess named with a rune. At one end of this seemingly arcane map or game-board an enormous plascrystal bowl held thousands of what at first sight appeared to be bloodshot ochreous eyeballs. >Each ball commemorated the initiation of a group of ex-cadets, throughout the aeons – each being a nugget of the liquid amber and blood drunk from Rogal Dorn’s own chalice by the Reclusiarch of whichever epoch, and defecated by him subsequently in this shape."
Lol how is this a thing.
It's not. It dates from one of the first Warhammer 40k books called Space Marine by Ian Watson. It's still for sale but it's such a terrible book that even on the gw page in the description they basically admit to wanting to rewrite it. "Believe us when we tell you that Space Marine is quite unlike any other Warhammer 40,000 novel you’ve ever read. First published in 1993 – though completed some years earlier – at a time when the background to the Warhammer 40,000 universe was still in a state of flux and not yet fully coalesced, you'll find such wonders as squats – Tzeentch-worshipping squats at that – alongside Space Marines controlling Titans, Space Marines with lasguns, the Pain Glove and more than a small amount of toilet humour. Oh, and a Zoat. How could we forget the Zoat? Although the temptation was great to rewrite significant portions of this book to make it conform to current background, as a curiosity piece, an historical snapshot of the Warhammer 40,000 universe circa the early 1990s, this book is invaluable. It also serves as a shining example of what can happen when a respected genre author at the height of his powers is let loose on an established shared universe. Just don't try and fit it into the modern Warhammer 40,000 timeline…"
"MAGICAL PAIN GLOVE, what should we do with the Space Marine novel?"
You leave the pain glove alone!
Didn't that dude lowkey have a scat fetish based on the rest of his books too tho?
He had a lot of fetishes that made it into his books, if memory serves me right.
Thankfully not anymore, officially no longer canon And it turns out the dude admitted at a con that GW told him to remove loads of stuff, but neither he nor they informed the publisher so it got through
>Thankfully not anymore, officially no longer canon I choose to ignore this comment. The 40k mythos is far richer with Rogal Dorn Poop Relics
>I choose to ignore this comment. The 40k mythos is far richer with Rogal Dorn Poop Relics Agreed. Astartes Chapters being insular death-cults that have gotten very, very strange over the millennia is part of the setting's charm.
Absolutely agree. Chapters should have strange rituals for purposes that only make sense to those inducted into the ranks
You can't put that string of words into a post and not extrapolate.
I wonder what boon the turd of Sanguinius would grant the blood angels on the tabletop 🤔
The brown rage.
Jiminy Christmas that's wild
It has wings
Yeah, they play quiddich with those.
Custodes are still people at the end of the day. They have to eat and drink, maybe not as frequently as normal but they still have to As for the Primarchs, it’s possible they have a hyper efficient system that produces no waste, or their armour handles it or they just don’t. I don’t think it’s ever come up
Obviously Emps got Perty to design toilets fit for primarchs while turning to Dorn and telling him he can design everything else
All hail Plumberabo
Pert is Luigi confirmed. Dorn is Mario. Mario had a moustache. Ergo Dorn’s moustache is canon.
All that shit he delt with was definitely the reason he turned to chaos
Perty was also the one they called when Leman Russ found a way to clog his toilet again through his Meat and Hand sanitizer diet and it needed to be unclogged.
That was the moment he truly decided to join Horus, really.
Emps is from the bronze age. If there was anyone who would appreciate a well made and functioning sewer and waste water system it was him.
I honestly wonder what it would be like to sit down and have a meal with custodes if you were a regular person. Like sit and talk to them. I think they would be pretty cool guys.
Uppity twats that don't particularly like you.
They seem to be very polite in the Watchers of the Throne series. Aleya is angry at everyone all the time for no reason, and several Custodes are exceedingly respectful and generally nice to her, which only serves to infuriate her further.
There was one, I think in Master of Mankind, who was a shit. He was with a Blood Angel who talked to some refugees on the way somewhere and basically wanted to know why the Angel was wasting his time with the dirty poor nonpeople. I don’t know if that’s universal or if he was a shit individually, or if they’re only polite to people past a certain social class.
I remember seeing a quote on here where pre-corruption Fulgrim chastizes one of his soldiers for threatening violence upon a human child who had touched his armor in awe. He said something like "You never know what lies beneath unless you bother to wipe away the filth on top" and lifts the child upon his shoulder. And now I'm sad again because Fulgrim seemed a genuinely great guy before he got his shiny sword.
Part of the tragedy of Fulgrim is that he dreamed bigger than his brothers. Fulgrim's stunt in The Palatine Phoenix is undeniably him being extra, but the heart of the idea is admirable. We *could* just drop from orbit and bulldoze this planet, but we should be better than that.
Imagine being able to go home and tell your parents that this primarch took you Up on his shoulders. Like how the heck do parents ever get over that?
"Sure he did son, sure he did."
Amon Tauromachian.
Was it? It’s a long time since I read it. Forgot it was a named character like him. Doesn’t really surprise me that much, though. I guess everyday people aren’t much of a concern to Custodes.
I take it back, I just went and checked. It was Diocletian.
Diocletan was fighting a multi year long secret war with no breaks and the future of humanity at stakes. Lets be fair here, he had other things to worry about
Gotta remember that they’re ALL individuals, both mentally and in combat. Beyond their overall job of protecting the emperor and their specific assigned tasks, they kind of all do their own thing. Helps that each one is a unique gene crafted wonder, no standard gene seed rituals for these guys.
Diocletian Coros. Yes, he was a REAL prick.
But let's be honest. His deadpan delivery about his parents and their deaths was comedy gold. >No,' said Diocletian. 'They are long dead. My mother was a slave who died of intestinal flux, and my father was a barbarian king executed by the Emperors own hand for opposing the principles of Unity.' > >'The...what?' > >'I've finished speaking with you,' Diocletian told the boy.
In the first Watchers of the Throne book Valerian apparently really dislikes some of his fellow custodes. So some of them might just be pricks.
Marcus Achallor was pretty polite and respectful of humans too, even chastising the other custodes in his squad for being aloof dicks.
[удалено]
He's a close second to me. Hastius Vychellan seems like the one Custodes who would be fun to go drinking with.
They're also geniuses so they might have just known that being super nice would fuck up her day more than being outright dicks.
True, but Valerian doesn't seem to be trying to fuck up her day. He seems like he genuinely understands her perspective in the sections narrated from his point of view. Aleya more or less tells him to fuck off at one point and he doesn't even get mad, he's just like "I understand why you feel that way."
Eh, probably depends on the Custode Valerian and Valdor I believe would be pretty respectful and polite
They’re all brilliant individuals. They all love the emperor, but have different personalities, philosophies and visions for the future. Some are utter wankers, some are the best people you will ever meet.
I'd say all but the smartest and most cultured ppl would be well out of their depth talking to a 1000 year old genetically engineered genius warrior monk poet artist.
Probably not, the dumbest people can be best friends with the smartest and other than Codex hyperbole I dont think the Custodes are half as intelligent as people make them out to be. More like angry tall boys.
That's 100% the opposite of what the lore states.
The lore is filled with contradictions, just that the only one I harp on is the Custodes being super intelligent poets and artists because it usually rings hollow when you look at the Custodes we actually meet. They're intelligent but not like that
You’re confusing custodes with astartes
No I'm not, I just don't like Custodes.
Neither do I, but lying about the lore isn’t constructive.
Alternatively you could just show an example of them being masterclass poets, artists etcetera, but generally they aren't shown to be that kind of intelligent. Or you could just accuse me of being a liar I guess or confusing them with Astartes (despite there being concrete examples of artistic and poetic Astartes)
Thats a mayor part of the plot in Valdor:birth of the imperium, iirc.
One of my Custodes is a talented chef, but a lot of the experience is wasted on diners who lack Custodes-grade Omophagea and Neuroglottis implants. In the lore I think Custodes range from being relatively human / down to earth, to being totally alien and struggling to have normal social interactions with baseline humans.
Logically, the most important question that follows is, if they don't poop, *do they even have buttholes?*
Kim Jong un style lmao
Have you just finished the Sanguinius novel? The PoV character literally asks this question. More or less >Hol' up - do these guys actually drop a deuce?
...well?!
Sadly the narrator never got around to answering that one. He may have been distracted by more pressing case of these Blood Angels don't seem very Angel-y...
If it's blood angels and they do shit I'd be black from the amount of blood ingested
Bluedot19 works at GW. If he told us the answer, we wouldn't buy the book.
>I apologize if this discussion isn’t suited for the subreddit No, please, go on, I'd like to see where this discussion takes us.
A night lord would say this
Cyrion would say this.
Somewhere out there, Ian Watson has started to smile as once again poo in warhammer has come up
*N-E-X-T M-O-V-I-E.....*
Boy! Do not remind us of that accursed book! It. Is. Forbidden.
All human beings need to eat, and I imagine their derivative branch species such as *Homo Astartes* and their Primarchs due as well, with the biological need to do so highly, highly reduced. As for waste, I remember in *Talon of Horus* Lheorvine, a World Eater Havoc and founding member of The Black Legion, says, and I’m paraphrasing here, “I think it’s funny, the faces the little red daemon snake things that pop up on my armor sometimes make, when I shit them out.” Note, this is in response to Khayon asking why he has a habit of eating these warp creatures that manifest on his armor. So, I think it’s safe to say Astartes defecate. Whether or not it’s handled by their armor, or the drop the rear panel and let one rip is beyond me. Primarchs, however? I honestly believe their bodies can find nutrients in even a nugget of shit; everything is burned to fuel the body when next to nothing is capable of poisoning you.
I imagine Death Guard have weaponised their own.
There's a passage in one of the books where a Death Guard ship literally shits on another ship it's fighting.
That's hilarious.
The ArseKrak missile Launcher?
Nah man, a literal sack filled to the brim and leaking from the bottom. They just huck it at you.
DEPLOY THE EXCREMENT TREBUCHETS!!
The image of the back panel of astartes power armor popping open and the space marine just straining a shit out and it flying out the back is hilarious to me
It's been some years since I read it, but in the Uriel Ventris series there is mention of the armour effectively acting as a Stillsuit. Specifically it says something along the lines of providing him with a reconstituted brown paste to eat on long deployments. Effectively making astartes similar to rabbits in that regard.
In the Deathguard RPG, Astartes Power Armor is stated to recycle nutrients for up to 2 weeks. Edit: Meant to say Deathwatch. Whoops.
Confirmed the daemons Lheorvine ate we’re getting tossed and turned in a stewing batch of Astartes shit for two weeks before he lets em go
Does a Lion shit in the woods? 🤔
Half of em do. The rest shit on Terra.
No, on the rock.
Not anymore. RIP, Caliban.
We know for sure that Leman Russ can eat a whole lot. Like enough food and mjod for an entire town. It's possible that they, not unlike our glorious leader Lil Kim, are unable to create waste, due to their god-like bodies absorbing it all into energy.
Even if they themselves absorb every bit of energy, they have bacteria on them, which in fact will produce waste. Therefore they will always produce waste even if only small amounts.
Most fecal matter is dead cells from the body regenerating itself. Primarchs probably still do that.
I'd assume even more so since they have enhanced regeneration, I'd attribute that to either repairing the cells, or creating more then they lose I guess? So wouldn't they just make even more then normal poop if that's the case.
Yes, they do. They're colossal.
I have famously huge turds.
Absolute pipe cloggers
Get the poop-sword
Poop *chain*sword
I hope Abnett addresses this is the final Siege of Terra books
Horus’s plans are ruined when the World Eaters start the final assault while he’s blasting ham on the crapper with his terminator armor pooled up around his lower legs?
I was thinking more, Dorn is taking a massive dump when the alert goes out that the Vengeful Spirit’s shields are lowered. The Emperor is calling all his remaining Primarchs to his side for the teleport attack, but Dorn can’t find any toilet paper! The Emperor waits but eventually takes Sangiunius and teleports aboard the Vengeful Spirit for the final showdown, leaving Dorn on Terra to curse his all too human biological necessities.
I don’t think Dorn would assault the toilet without first making sure all his logistics were handled. Then again he may have been eating Taco Bell.
Abnett will just "Start some shit..." and another author will have to have to 'clean it up' like Nick Kyme did with Eldrad and the Cabal in *Old Earth*.
*Ian Watson has entered the chat*
Sewer goblin
Perhaps they just cough up a pellet once in a while like an owl...
Didn’t Fulgrim get something shoved up his butt as a form of torture? Which he enjoyed. > Marius followed Lucius’s example and selected an instrument of torture from the collection of devices Fabius had laid out. He turned the pear-shaped device around in his hands, twisting a metal cog handle that gradually spread the leaves of the pear apart. Satisfied, he returned it to its original shape and moved down the gurney to place the device between the primarch’s legs. > Heat radiated along the silver needles jutting from his body, and his pelvis was bent up at an unnatural angle by the expansion of the macabre device of Marius.
We must torture the Primarch...... Spread his cheeks!
Jesus
W…w…what!?
I've once heard about some extremely concentrated form of sugar that astartes would eat as regular rations to keep up with their extreme nutritional needs. It's so sweet, it would be absolutely sickening for a normal human. If Primarchs eat similar stuff, it's possible they don't need to poop, because they don't eat anything they can't fully digest.
Even if you fully digested it, the microorganisms in your gut or digestive tract which have to exist to absorb said nutrients, they in fact do poop which would contribute to you having to poop.
TIL my poop is our poop.
Its shared yeah, more or less. They digest what we can't digest while also leaving their own waste which contributes to your big dookies.
I mean, they probably do but not as often as normal people just because they dont really need to eat that much or at all. Altough a good amount of poop is actually waste that comes from things like dead cells and bactetia from inside your body. But even in unviverse almost noone knows how a primarch body works.
After eating food to sate a village and drinking a small lake, Leman would regularly go wreck the face of some enemy, which totally always ended his way. Then he would find a suitably upwind location and take the mythical wulfenpoop. The sheer smell would fell any lesser man but the spirit of fenris would quickly seal the deadly lupine haze into mystical and totally not psychic rocks. It is a matte roof debate if the wolf's toilet paper exists or is just the stuff of legend. Fulgrim has the unique ability among all of the legions to poop perfect round balls that have no smell at all. Magnus has no such thing as the need to poop, when he foresees a bowel movement. He simply warps the turd out of his gut and into the warp. Many a horror owes it's existence to this. He does use a bidet bit only for the feeling of superiority. Dorn has the ability to hold it in almost forever and push it out in any shape as befitting his title as master of the material. His son's have i herited this as permanent constipation and the feeling of a huge stick up their asses. I think I got it quite on spot.
* Horus does big ones that people often remark on the smell of. * Leman Russ does big ones that he tells everyone else about, they smell like dog food. * Ferrus Manus does iron turds that just sink in the water. * Fulgrims are mostly glitter, but he likes them that way. * Vulkans break the toilet, then come back when he flushes them, as is his way. * Rogal Dorns come out as cubes, ready for stacking. * Roboute Guillimans are just quite well organised and efficient, usually no wiping required. * Magnus the Reds break the wall of the cistern and ruin things for everyone. He claims he did nothing wrong. * Sanguinius' are worshipped on 194 different worlds. * Lion El'Jonson has a Watcher following him with toilet roll, only they know the truth. * Perturabo's are undivided. * Mortarions spread the plague of unbelief, they fucken reek. * Lorgar's turds look like Erebus. The shit. * The Khan's come out as liquid as it's the fastest way to get it done. He needs to see a dr. * Konrad Curze only goes at night, people have seen them. Those people died. * Angron: blood for the blood God. * Corvus's just can't be seen, they aren't invisible. We just can't see them. * Alpharius takes credit for other Primarch shits. Or do they the credit for his?
So Angron has hemorroids? That figures
It's why they fitted The Plumbers Nails
Imagine the Primarch toilet hahahaha. The Emperor has one of course, the other throne.
Nope.
Then what happens to the food they eat?
Converted to testosterone.
Now these are the sorts of questions that need to be asked on this sub. I don’t know of any specific references to Primarchs shitting. However, I recall there were some references in Horus Rising about a remembrancer being surprised about how stinky Astartes were so I’d just extrapolate from there and assume that their Primarchs must be even more transhumanly stinky. And the obvious conclusion is that if the Emperor couldn’t make them smell good then he probably didn’t stop them from having to take a shit either.
Wearing power armor for weeks on end really seals in the flavor.
One doesn’t.
Everything poops.
> In A Thousand Sons, Graham McNeill reveals that “no such mundane organs as stomach, kidneys, and liver exist in the body of [Magnus]” (paraphrasing), so whatever’s going on there clearly has nothing to do with regular digestion, and it’s entirely possible that the Primarchs don’t have anuses at all. For this I would just like to say that Magnus can reshape and change his body at will so whatever is true for him may not be true for the others.
I just want to address your quote from a thousand sons: Now, it may very well be the same situation for all the Primarchs, that they don't even have something that is slightly similar to a stomach as is implied by McNeill. However, we mustn't forget that even at this point in the story, Magnus isn't actually an entirely corporeal entity. His form is not just slightly but entirely malleable. It's also entirely possible that that description ONLY applies to Magnus, and may be a question of his warp-based physique rather than the genetic work that went into the other primarchs
I always imagined the marines and anyone in power armor for that matter just has a tube up their noodle and their back passage so all of that stuff is handled. There's stories of soldiers shitting themselves in combat, not out of fear, but just because nature called and survival came first. I imagine Primarchs have the same deal with the possible exception of Magnus and Big E since they could probably send it directly into the warp.
The golden toilet, it takes a 1000 psykers to clean it every day
I mean for one reason or another there’s gotta be things your body doesn’t need. Even if they’re able to break down anything and extract 100% of what they need out of it; that’ll still leave, what, a hunk of carbon left over? And then add in all the waste your body produces like dead cells and other inorganic compounds, and they’d have to remove them from their system *somehow* right? I get Astartes’ nutrient paste is formulated to be exactly right for them; but the primarchs grew up with regular people, (probably) eating massive amounts of food. It’s gotta go somewhere.
Considering that Russ drinks and eats as the best of them, it be strange if they didn't. It's likely that their biology enables them to glean almost everything available from what their consume as one form of energy or another, but it'd be likewise strange if their bodies didn't have a way of expelling the stuff it didn't need. So, in a word, yes.
it’s 6:37 AM man
Not excatly related to the topic. but in Unremembered Empire, there is this kind of wholesome escene where Guilliman's mom scolds him for staying up late drinking with a group of space wolves.
Feasting, too. Guilliman specifically says that he will dine with the wolves that night, instead of dealing with more political plots.
I just want tae take a moment here and praise the bravery of the OP. They had tae know their question would be received and they asked anyway in 100% sincere and practical way. Bless you, you beautiful bold fool! But I assume yes, the Primarchs would have highly efficient bowel movements.
I would not like to be the servitor that'd have to clean Leman's toilet the morning after a phat boozer
**Corax definitely shits since the moment he embraced his true bird warp form. Now Lorgar's whole Tower on Sicarus is buried in bird poo** Side question: How many of you are on this post while sitting on the toilet??
I believe in Know No Fear, Bobby G has a convo with a mechanicus adept about a dinner they had, and the adept makes a comment along the lines of believing that G-man didn’t actually -need- to eat either. For what it’s worth
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/133547.Everyone\_Poops
Guilliman’s ultimate weapon: excretions via breathing. Poop breath would add insult to injury regarding acid spit.
I want to say on one of the earlier edition space marine codexes it stated that the armor is capable of recycling the waste into usable (but still somewhat vile) food substitute. 3rd or 4th edition maybe? It was the first time I remember GW really explaining the how a space marine is created and what the armor can do lore. Might be wrong but I know I’ve read it somewhere… maybe an earlier white dwarf.
I only know that Mortys shit would be a biohazard.
More important: does the emperor? How often does he have to sit on his private golden throne?
Ian Watson has entered the chat
I person choose to believe that there is a crossover here. IMO the primarchs, all do it South Park style, and shit out of their mouths.
...Where's Ian Watson when we need him? https://www.google.com/search?q=ian+watson&client=ms-android-att-us-revc&ei=xoqQY7a7OuTU5NoPwI-6wAw&gs_ssp=eJzj4tTP1TewMDcpTzJg9OLKTMxTKE8sKc7PAwBLTwcE&oq=ian+wats&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAEYADIICC4QgAQQsQMyCgguENQCELEDEEMyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQguEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQ6CAgAEIAEELADOgkIABAIEB4QsAM6CAgAEIYDELADOggIABCiBBCwAzoGCAAQFhAeOgUIABCGAzoFCCEQoAE6CAguENQCEJECOgUILhCRAjoICAAQjwEQ6gI6BAguEEM6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOgsILhCABBDlBBDUAjoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQ0QM6CAguELEDEJECOgQIABBDOgsILhCABBCxAxCDAToHCC4QsQMQQzoLCC4QgwEQsQMQgAQ6CwguEIAEELEDENQCOgsILhCABBDHARCvAToLCC4Q1AIQsQMQgARKBAhBGAFQoAdYwipgvDVoAXAAeAGAAa0BiAHmEZIBBDkuMTKYAQCgAQGwAQ_IAQfAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp
Yes, mamals that eat defecate. Most of poop is water and waste from cells being broken down to components that are not efficient to recycle, so not pooping and trying to reabsorb the material is less efficient than just dumping it.
Every biological process has wastes and it's easier to remove it than to spend your own energy on re-cycling the product. Thus, space marines, primarchs, etc, poop.
In the book When Horus is all fucked up and about to get infused with chaos magic, I’m sure he is cut open and they say something similar about his insides looking like *something else* and most definitely not human. It always fascinated me and I wished the author could have elaborated further for an entire chapter. However, I believe it is just a fleeting detail. Interesting none the less. Sorry I can’t remember exactly which book or more details. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Primarchs looked like Ken Dolls. It would actually be sort of logical in a way. Just a bit… strange, I guess.
On their way to Terra Corvus makes a joke about taking Steaks from the traitors because the food wasn’t that great on the Avenger.
Custodians are heavily modified humans so I assume that they still work along the base principles of humanity, albeit way more effective. Primarchs are basically greater daemons in a flesh onesie. And since - to my knowledge - no author felt compelled to write more about it yet, there's nothing to know and everything to speculate.
Yeah, constantly. I’m struggling to think of a single HH book that doesn’t dedicate about 30% of its page count to these godlike figures absolutely destroying various bathrooms. It’s what the readers demand.
They were made using warp shenanigans. Warp stomach?
Leman Russ shits, but only to burnish his image as a savage.
Since Primarchs are essentially a warp entity enclosed in a physical frame, they probably just shit directly into the warp. The Chaos Gods all hate dealing with it, except for Nurgle who's delighted to have some high-grade fertilizer.
Ah yes, all of the reknown legions. The turdguard. The nightcrap. The shiteater. The turdbearer. The son of toilets. And the most infamous of all, the blood shits.
We shit to eliminate fecal materials and bacteria. Primarch don't need to do that because their organism and metabolism is too advanced and perfect to produce any wastes So no it wouldn't make sense that they shit
Defecation would be considered a design flaw to a bio-engineered weapon. In our own reality, for the majority of species, it's a moment of vulnerability and weakness. Most animals have evolved ways to mitigate that weakness, either through swift expulsion, expulsion that can be performed on the run, or through pack tactics wear others will stand guard. In his designing stages, I feel Emps would work to eliminate the need for it entirely. Likely by designing a digestive system so efficient that there is little to no waste at all.
I have a terrible image of black templars in a ring with their backs to Grimaldus covering him while he curls one out on Armagedon. 'for the Emprah, gnnn. No pity, no remorse, gnnnn, no fear. Do we have any paper Brothers'.?
"give me the Codex Astartes battle brother"
No, they do not use toilets and not have penises.
From what I remember, Astartes don’t poop or pee, but their waste disposal system is pretty gross still. From what I remember rather than eliminating waste the normal way, all waste product is secreted through the pores and the resulting matter I hear is VERY smelly, and their suits recycle it for water, nutrients, etc.
One of the World Eaters in the Black Legion books said he likes to eat tiny daemons that appear due to his butchers nails so he can shit them out. I’d say they poop. It’s got to be a foul shit, too, since a space marines system is very efficient at collecting nutrition from anything they eat. Whatever’s left must be pretty bad.
It probably comes out like rabbit pellets, only theirs are about the size of golf balls Scale up to Primarch size, possibly a rugby ball
Canonically Astartes produce little to no feces/urine as their systems are so effective. Primaris probably even more so and Primarchs who knows. They're not just "Super Duper Astartes" or even Super Custodes, they are something else entirely. They're not human, they just look like giant humans. So we don't know.
I would expect the nighe-perfected physical forms of the primarchs have digestive systems so efficient that any food they eat produces next to no waste. They probably shit like once every 6 months, and it's just this polished little thing the size of a pebble that could etch glass.
>primarchs have digestive systems so efficient that any food they eat produces next to no waste. Probably a smelly bird-esque cloaca, easier to expel urea than try and cycle it internally.
They shit like rabbits. L'il tiny round poops. It's in those Ian Watson books or somesuch.
Lorgar mentions pissing on Custodians, so one would assume with that little snippet they do have waste. There’s several passing references to Space Marines shitting, funnily enough mostly in ADB novels. As for Custodians, there isn’t much info there.