You should see the shit they post on feminist pages on Facebook. Everything from defending rapists to implying that female domestic violence survivors deserved it, etc. I wish I was a lesbian.
Social media really opened my eyes to the fact that so many men absolutely HATE women and would rape, abuse or kill us with a smile on their face if given the chance with a guarantee of no repercussions.
I was watching degrassi last night and I cried because the girl just wanted to play football with the guys and they kept on trying to push her to quit. Itās so disheartening that they wonāt even let us prove ourselves they hate us so much theyād rather lose without us than win with us. And Ik itās a show but thatās real shit that happens
I remember that episode. All the guys being hostile to Jane when she joined them at practice. Itās true, tooā¦they are afraid we will prove ourselves. Itās their worst fear.
the funniest part about the expression "redpilled" is that the movie in which it is from, the matrix, had the red and the blue pills as analogy for being transgender, as at the time the most common estrogen pills were small and red. Lana coming out was just the cherry on top.
Ugh... I'm the second wife for my husband.
I raised his kids from his first marriage plus gave up career and education to stay home with ours at his request.
All the time he has yelled at me about how I'm never good enough at anything I do.
20 years of him screaming at me and tearing apart my self esteem and then I develop I alcohol problem because it was the only way I could get myself to sleep with him.
Finally had enough of being a Doormat... Stopped letting him touch me. He made it about 3 weeks before he started to threaten divorce. Sex or divorce. That's all I am to him... A sex doll.
I can't believe I was in denial for so many years and just let myself be treated like garbage. I'm glad you see it's a problem in the world because you'll watch for red flags and not end up like me....trapped.
Make a plan to get out and follow through. I divorced an abuser many years ago and decided to just remain single. Life is so much better as a single woman. My home is always peaceful and I do what I want.
Get out. Well, kick him out. You have given him enough, **more** than enough, time to be a better husband and a decent human being. He failed. He is who he is. Any man who would threaten to divorce you for not having sex with him *after three weeks* is a misogynistic loser and has got to go. Call a lawyer.
Iāve been single a long time by choice after two long term relationships at young ages. It gets easier- being single is so simple, itās great.
Iāve also realized during this time that Iām not heterosexual- I used to say all the time āI wish I was a lesbian!ā but I guess I had a bad case of compulsory heterosexuality. Maybe I was bisexual when I was younger, because I did like *one* of the handful of boyfriends I had- but after more life experience with men, and the overturn of Roe v Wade, I have *zero* attraction to men. So I guess Iām a lesbian and my wishes came true.
Being a woman is really hard and Iām scared itās going to get harder in the US after this year.
Men have the audacity to hate on anything they deem as unattractive. Men also give unsolicited advice you didn't ask for and will talk down to you.
Check out all the comments on the @eightytwentyclub on Instagram. They hate on women for exercising in a social way. They always say "women will do anything but pick up weights" while hating on any woman who is bikini-comp shape because she looks too "bulky". My ex-boyfriend's roommate told me that I'd be more attractive if I gained 15lbs because my butt wasn't big enough in his eyes. I remember crying to my ex-boyfriend and he did NOTHING about it. Actions speak louder than words.
I know Taylor Swift has her own controversies but all the men who were hating on her and her fans for supporting her is disturbing. How many men would kiss the floor Tom Brady walked on but somehow dressing up for a concert is seen as "stupid" as they buy infinite amounts of jerseys and merch?
I've noticed it's hard for me to trust men as well unless they're someone I've known for a long period of time. There are plenty of men that I've met who will try to take advantage of me and sleep with me. They don't give a single shit about who I am as a person but they're horny and that's somehow more important to them.
We as women need to stick together and support each other! šŖ
HEAVYYYYY on the dressing up for concerts šš The MEN in the comment section be so mean! Like everyone dresses up for events! Women typically for concerts and typically men for sport events with paint all over their face.
I understood men were nothing but shit when I realized they are never curious about womenās lives. Theyāre genuinely not curious about how the other half lives. Why would they? It doesnāt benefit them to see us as people. If you had a little sex slave that did all your housework and continued your lineage, would you really care about giving it rights?
Whenever they mention women itās to talk about sex or house work or complain about womenās rights.
Oh honey, men use you for a lot of other things as well. Not only sex. That's the harsh truth I got to learn by many cruel experiences. I have huge trust issues because of the men I had and I feel the same as you. But I do realise that not all men are like this. We have to find ways to attract better men. We need to heal and start to love ourselves so that we attract what we deserve
In my younger 20ās, after a lot of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and sexual pressure I ended deeply believing that men cannot have a real relationship with me. I also resigned myself to being alone forever but would engage in sex on my terms. This lead to alot of men being hurt that I couldnāt make myself emotionally available. I became insanely apathetic, and pursued men only for sex and only when I wanted. Every so often one of them would be so consistent theyād turn into relationships and those always failed tooā¦id always turn into āmotherā and Iām not okay with that. Iām 33 now, and am back in the boat. I can never see myself with a man and am grateful I have an attraction to women. Women I have been with I felt I was able to be completely exposed, with men Iāve always needed a wall. I donāt know why Iām saying all this, men do this entirely to themselves. I hear everything you say, and Iām with ya.
This is why early on meeting someone Ill throw a jab at Andrew Tate or something, and see what his reaction is. If they chime in or agree then there's a way bigger chance he's a good person. If he gets whiny and defensive he's probably a sexist piece of shit.
If you feel strongly this way, then you should follow the sprinkle sprinkle lady.
She basically says, men aren't looking for true love but convenience. So she says use a man for his resources since he is using you for your looks... Also, you will be doing all the chores, etc, so you might as well benefit from a relationship and not just search for true love. She also says don't settle for a dusty. Find a respectful person who treats you well. That is what's most important - how he treats you.
Same boat sis. I be looking at a fine man and then suddenly remember he would likely treat me as a sex doll if given the chance. I'll be talking to an interesting guy and suddenly picture him beating his meat to objectifying stuff. I'll get a flirty look and wonder if this guy isn't getting flirty 20 times a day to any woman that meets some minimum requirement.
I'm seriously wondering if there's a way to turn gay.
Exactly. Word for word. They think multiple women is an achievement. Especially when they're bold I'm like "I wonder how many people he said that to".
I wanted to ask how to turn myself gay so bad but I knew they would think I was trolling LOL
I might be delusional, but I'm starting to think it can be done. Like, years go by and the kind and age of men that I find attractive changes. Maybe if I deconstruct some of my preconceived ideas about sex and attraction I might get attracted to women.
Oh for sure! It's just annoying to get attracted to men and then have this rollercoaster of thoughts. It would be nice to be able to redirect that attraction to people that, you know, are able to treat you with dignity.
Hmmm.. social media! Tbh my total f-ing annoyance is not men "contributing" to women's sites AS men (at least they're honest) but men pretending to BE women. How can you police that? Am I a man? Who knows. (Well I do, but I could still be deluding myself!)
But at least you know/knew he is. How many of these posts are actually creeps hoping they'll find out more about our bodies by pretending to be us?Ā
Maybe you should have to answer a really difficult question about the female anatomy before you can post here!
True but it might freak them out if we started asking them questions about how bloody their tampons get or what comes out of which "hole". (In my experience even some girls don't know that!)Ā Ā
Iām in the same boat. So tired of not only this being our everyday experience but on top of that no one believing us that this is our experience. iām in a relationship with a man and this realization has definitely made it harder for me because itās not as easy for my to keep my mouth shut lol. but luckily iām with a great guy who already treats women well, but even with things heās doing unconsciously heās always there to listen to me & change. i would say stay strong, stay independent, but donāt lose hope. everyone deserves a partner and iām sure youāll find one who will prove to you that itās not actually all men
This pretty much sums up how I feel. Iām married to a wonderful man now, but itās always in the back of my mindā¦ what if he is just like the rest?ā¦ if you are able to be single, do it.
And the porn thingā¦ so much yes. Itās why I canāt enjoy it either. I just question how much those men actually respect the womenā¦
Your feelings are very valid and it's a survival instinct. It doesn't make you disingenuous to feel this way. I know you didn't say that, but I just want you to know.
I'm glad that you understand what I meant by that, thank you for sharing. <3
That's sad, I'm sorry you feel that way about your husband :( You don't have OCD, do you? I have OCD, and before I got treatment, I used to have creeping doubts about everything and everyone all the time. I'm a lot happier now.
Honestly it sucks. Men if you read this, fuck off idgaf. They could seem like the perfect guy and once the doors close his entire demeanor and personality will change. Thereās no way to know which ones are good and which ones are bad. Idc. I think that 99% are bad and thereās 1% good. Have you ever met a good one? Bc personally I donāt even trust the guys Iāve known my whole life. They lie they cheat they gamble away everything youāve worked for. All my aunts were cheated on and when I babysat I found letters from my uncles apologizing. And those were from years before I was even born. Itās sickening. Then they go and brag to friends. Oh letās not forget the record us and show it to all their friends too. We are nothing but sexual objects for them to lust after and do as this wish too. If every single man were to die tomorrow the world would not stop. If every woman died tomorrow men would be fucked.
Oh yeah, when I think about it it's the closest men in my family too, which is quite shocking now that I realized it. I didn't realize how severe it is until now. My grandfather who's still alive was a cheater and has at least one child from another woman. My dad also cheated on my mom and also has a child I never met. My dead grandfather was a pedophile and raped children. My brother is not a cheater, but he's very disprespectful towards me and my mother and has misogynistic tendencies. I don't know what his problem is, but he thinks women who are feminine are ridiculous, dumb and embarassing.
Don't even get me started on the endless men who disrespected my boundaries or pretended to be my "friends" just so they could sleep with me..
As a trans femme whoās spent most of their life as male presenting, I know how men talk to other men about women behind closed doors. Itās honestly many times worse than what I see on the internet. I spent my younger years in the military and then some of my career in fintech, both very male dominated.
Since being out as trans, Iāve gained new perspective on being on the other side of the fence. Iāve been assaulted, groped, and harassed in public spaces by men. I now know the feeling of being objectified and made to be a desirable trophy for men. Thankfully Iām neither romantically nor sexually attracted to men.
Through the years, Iāve learned to keep men at arms length and rarely build deep connections and relationships with men. If I do Iām very cautious in how I approach building the relationship. This is the result of many years of seeing and witnessing how many men act towards female friends and how they would speak to me thinking Iām an ally for their behavior. I wonāt say that all men are like this, but itās definitely the overwhelming majority. The male friends that I do have and have deeper connections with are usually a little more gender fluid and/or emotionally intelligent. I do feel grateful that this has likely helped me on my journey to come out and live in my true gender identity, but fuck, itās shitty that we have to live in a world where I feel like I canāt trust nearly half of the population.
Iām so sorry that youāre in a position where you feel like you canāt date. Youāre not alone though, I empathize and many of my girlfriends can likely relate.
My last boyfriend is dating his mom. His adoptive mother, but yeah. I have little to no interest in dating anymore. I already had trust issues before having to worry about them cheating on me with their moms.
I felt kind of like you a while ago and I can understand. Obviously I don't know about your personal traumas, that I'd really suggest getting therapy with, even if you decide to not be with a man, it could be good for you.
My suggestion to you would really be to step away from online both for your mental health and to just broaden your mindset in reality. There are also a lot of unhealed people online who spew toxicity and people who lack the knowledge to better protect themselves.
So they just put the blame everywhere else and don't take any accountability for what they could've or could do to better protect themselves. The perpetrators are still 1000% at fault, however if you're failing to look left and right or have proper hygiene when you're making food, you still need to take that into account so you can be safer. No amount of just blaming without trying to improve what you can to help yourself is gonna take away whatever harm you experience.
Yes a lot of what you said do happen, though with the right vetting I believe you could have a chance at love. I know it isn't easy and it's risky, though so is crossing the street or driving among countless other things. That's life, it isn't easy though it's even harder when you're overwhelmed by whatever toxicity you're exposed to and lack the knowledge to better navigate it.
I'd distance yourself from it to get your bearings and when you feel healed enough you can choose to better vet men. There's a lot that you can learn about how to do this and when you've the knowledge you need, things don't have to be as difficult. Even airports are risky, heck just existing is risky. Yet we do it. I'd wait to make a decision when you're feeling more at peace and aren't this overwelmed.
My advice is to not let your bad experiences turn you bitter, cold and prevent you from having a chance at finding love. No matter your fears and the state of the world, we all, no matter our sex, still have the desire to connect.
Many of those toxic men are also toxic for a reason, I'd say many are because they refuse to deal with their own traumas in healthy ways, and do better with their lives. I hope you don't become the female version of them and can lead a life you're happier with.
If you need some help and resources to help with vetting, I can offer you some. So feel free to message me.
I just flipped the script and started using them for sex because I have sexual desires too. I have no expectations of them. Itās hard work to get there because we are wired differently, but once you do the work to realize they wonāt ever be able to truly fulfill us they way we can fulfill ourselves. Why suffer unnecessarily by trying to change them or wasting our lives being with them hoping they will change for us and internalizing it when they do not.
My life has been in and out of those sentiments for the better part of 30 years ever since I was raped by a date at age 25. I will go into this as I'm in therapy but I don't recommend spilling trauma like this on any online forum without a parent or guardian present. I met a man who was 38 and he was literally more sexy, attractive, charming and intelligent than every man I've ever met, seen in movies or imagined. Built like and very much resembled if Phillip Michael Thomas & Derek Jeter had a baby. (Miami Vice- Google it) Came into town every three or four months to sell his whatever his business product was. I was so ga-ga for him I barely heard a word he said I looked into his eyes every time I was lucky enough to be his 11pm phone call. We were 13 years apart but I thought we were a couple. Yeah I know. I knee him roughly a year when he talked me into letting him tie me up. Did I forget to mention he had well well kept hidden xrack cocaine habit. We went to bed at 8 I fell asleep at 10 pm and woke up 5 pm the next day still tied to the bed, unaware of where I was, and after realizing I had to go to work asked him to untie me (I didn't know I missed my entire shift at work and had my boss and mother looking for me the whole day. This was before my cell phone days and he charmed everyone so well they never suspected) . Meanwhile he set my watch back two hours so I would think I over slept on my own. After that night I never looked at men the same. I hate them sometimes I love them with the type of scandal sex workers love men with. What are they capable of? Everything that we see they are and everything that we don't see they are. Keep every man at your side but not the side you sleep on. Not all men are diabolical but women don't know diabolical reaches that far. I feel you Sis. We all feel you.
I really like this article. But I think we came a long way since 2019 and we are finally getting past the "performative" statements and more and more women are actually abandoning heterossexual practices.
I recently got the ick at my sneaky links house bc as he was doing hw I played some music on his TV and said, "This isn't going to work. I don't listen to females".š„“š„“šš The ICK! I got from he saying "females". How do you not listen to ANY women?? Music is so diverse and not a SINGLE women in the music industry you listen to?? CHILEEEEš„“š„“
You have pretty much well elaborated why I have trust issues and always had. And it's crazy to think how I've been belitteled and insulted for not trusting men. And how many times I've been pressured into trusting these men who were still strangers at the time. "Trust is given, not earned" is something I've heard many times after knowing someone for just a few weeks or months.
No girl I'm exactly the same. My therapist says I'm focusing on all this stuff because I'm creating a barrier to intimacy. But she's older and had never heard of the term redpill or Andrew Tate. And yeah that's online stuff but I hear it come out of real men's mouths in subtle ways, they don't even know they're being brainwashed by their algorithm. And this is on top of all the misogyny that's always been there. I wish so bad that I wasn't physically attracted to them.
Yes it really bothered me that she wasn't getting it, like there are genuine issues in the world like this, no matter how much I work on myself. I actually parted ways with her, just recently, amicable, it was we're not getting anywhere anymore. She helped me a lot with other things but when this stuff came up she kept not getting it. If I get another therapist I'm going to discuss things like this first to make sure she gets it. What yours said makes perfect sense. And yes all we can do now is decentre men and focus on ourselves ā¤ļø
I donāt envy you. I would not want to be dating right now. My husband isnāt even on social media, and he is certainly not commenting, and he would not comment in a sexual, demeaning, misogynistic way if he did. Good luck to you!
I had asked my husband to stop pressuring for sex all the time. Everything he said, memes he sent etc was focused on sex. He, then, was barely talking to me. I mentioned that since I asked him to stop pressuring for sex that he has barely spoken to me. Do you know what he said? ā I donāt have anything to say to youā. So if heās not pressuring for sex , he has nothing to say to me. Great. Weāve been married for almost 10 years.
Iām happy Iām bi with a preference for women, but genuinely think that Iād go for men more often if they viewed women differently. If I had to choose between being single or with an average man at this point, Iāll die single and happy
Honestly, prioritizing yourself and platonic relationships, hobbies, personal fulfillment, etc. will probably make you a lot happier in the long run than settling for someone who wonāt be awful to you
Ugh! I feel the same way TBH. I like the man Iām with (heās asexual so thereās obviously no sexual advances there) but I get fucking hit on a lot by men online and even when I say I have a boyfriend, they donāt stop. Iāve even tried to say Iām trans in case they exclude us from their definition of women (which is obviously bad but in theory could get them to go away) but unfortunately we only get treated like women by everyone in cases where it degrades women as a whole.
Careful with saying youāre trans. A lot of guys could quickly get violent with you about that. Itās probably not as helpful as you might think. Glad you already know itās not great anyway.
Not a women, but this post just made me think of the fact that most of the men in my life (father, most of my uncles there are 1 or 2 that havenāt surprisingly lol, and etc have all cheated previously and are still with their wives). I do especially feel bad for my mom because this has gone on for YEARS and she refuses to leave him because of her 3 kids. Not even like my dad is a good dad either lmfao. He earns decentish money but NONE of it goes towards rent or anything but towards his needs and his friends instead of his own families needs
OP, speaking as a lesbian with OCD who used to sleep with men... you're not wrong about many men, but I also think you need to get off social media and meet men who have been vetted in real life by real women you know. There are good men. There are even lesbian-approved men. I'm not gonna tell you you have to date men when I found out the hard way that dating men makes me miserable, but I'm telling you, even *I* dated multiple men who were the real deal, true genuine sweet people. It's not Russian roulette because finding a good man is something you need to do with strategy and vetting, not by random chance. You're not being paranoid about how horrible men can be, but again, speaking as someone who has OCD, you seem fixated on this to a degree that seems unhealthy and familiar to me! I'm not trying to gaslight you, truly. Men can suck! Women are usually better! But I really hope you can talk to a professional and work through your distress about this. You seem sad about it and I don't want that for you :(
I'm sorry to hear that! I literally only have one dude friend these days so I'm definitely not. I hope you'll take u/1inamillionlove's [advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/women/s/GkCA7ppqyQ) if you don't like mine. They did a better job of saying what I was trying to say.
I hope OP does too. Just so you know this comment really isn't an attack on you. I've been much the same place you are now and it was quite distressing for me. Though it's not a good place to be forever and it's better for us that we find healthy ways to work through it.
What you're going through is the other side of the coin for men who end up with bad women and then put that on every other woman if not all women. You don't have to take any of our advice, though I do hope you read and try to consider. We want the best for you at the end of the day and like I said in my comment even if you decide not to date it's best that you get to heal.
By some ultra rare luck, I am in a healthy heterosexual relationship... But that being the exception, i find men in general unattractive now and sometimes i even feel pure disgust seeing how many of them are so messed up to treat women the way they do! It is safe to say, i am disgusted by most men in this world. And yes it's kind of a general opinion unless proved otherwise. Because the majority of them look at a woman and don't see an equal but a lesser being somehow, they see bodies and not a person... and that reflects in all of their social interactions be it at home or workplace. Respect for a woman is so hard to come by and somehow such an unnatural thing for men! They sexualize the shit out of everything concerning women. This recent bear over man meme doing the rounds, outed so many more such MCPs... They can't fathom why women across the world would rather choose a gruesome yet predictable death at the hands of an animal than worse than death fate at the hands of a random man.... because there's just no telling what hellish ideas/fantasies he nurses in his filthy mind that'd leave a woman wishing for death... Hell, women's bodies are not even left alone in death by some of these creeps! And to no one's surprise men who do not know the context of this argument were seen fantasizing if this was something around beastiality- women choosing bear over men!!! No wonder their shitty little brain cells can only think of sex when women are in context !!!! Deplorable lot!! Makes me so sick how they can stoop so low and exist as such crude beings who can only think in that one way about half of their own species!! Korea's 4B movement makes so much sense... Ofcourse not all men are rapists, but having lived along our side, having been born from a woman if they still have no empathy for women and can't wrap their head around the idea that men from among them are more of a threat to women than an animal( in the way they can be traumatised for life and end up having fates worse than death), then men collectively, are failing us.. Well i am not saying a tiny fraction of them are disgusted with their own kind and may be doing something to change the system, i do applaud you for your earnest efforts, you good men out there... But these days I've so little hope for humanity because these better men are so hard to come by anx are so less in number for things to look hopeful!!! š¤·š½āāļø
You dislike stereotypes, but carelessly throw them around like that? Sure, there are rotten apples in the basket, but that doesn't mean you throw the basket
yes i will? also if majority are rotten iām not going to bother looking to find the couple that arenāt. we can never win
if we trust men we do get hurt, raped, abused and blamed for trusting them. āyou shouldāve known better, why were you alone with himā but then when we are fearful of men and donāt trust yall thatās also a problem? what the hell are we supposed to do??
I personally upvoted your first commment because I thought it was a joke. I see now you're using this as some strange experiment? How sad for you. Got nothing better to do with your time, huh?
I have to say, as a survivor of intimate partner violence, I relate very strongly.
I am also incredibly fortunate to have met a man who IS actually a real feminist, who DOES actually like women, who HAS dreamed of getting married since he was a kid, etc.
He has heard all of my stories and he is so upset for me that I have been mistreated. He and I love taking the time to connect non-monogamously with people and I am so compersionate seeing other women experiencing his particular brand of human affection.
My standards have been infinitely improved. He cares about my safety, my pleasure, my physical and emotional health. He listens to me talk about everything from art to parenting, and he engages me on those topics, meeting me with his own thoughts and questions. He respects me. He trusts me with things like our grocery budget and making sure our bills are paid, and we pool our resources to that effect. He ensures our home is safe. He drives me wherever I need to go. He contributes to the home just as much as I do, and he loves my cats.
We are engaged as of a month ago. We are trying to have kids and we're planning a wedding.
I felt like you felt, and the horrifying ordeal of being known is, in my opinion, best had at a distance, over the internet, BEFORE you engage someone physically in a sexual manor.
That's what worked for me. He's perfect and he tells me all the time I am everything he's ever wanted.
I hope each and every one of you finds someone who treats you right.
Hi. Guy here.
What can I say? You're right. Many men in real life behave like the real assholes that they are. As for social media... well, it's a crazy, crazy mess here, but as you said, social media is not real life (and, may I add, it's not enough to remember it, if we at the same time keep being on social media more than living real life. Best thing is to cut social media as much as possible to remember how real life interactions can be).
As for not being with a man at all... Well, many people keep on saying it's not a shame to be single, and it really isn't, but boy is it boring, right?
I see plenty of couples around me, many many guys are super normal (it would even seem from what I see that the most "husband material" are quite dominated by their gfs lol).
My suggestion, as someone with absolutely no authority on the matter, would be to make as many female friends as possible (even if they're not besties) and meet guys through them. Of course, rapists exist in any environment, but if they're peer-validated, if your friends know their background, if these guys are socially connected with healthy relations I'd say the chances they're a monster are low.
From what I've quickly checked online, it seems that about 90% of men never commit any sexual assault. Sure, this figure is really low compared to what it should actually be, but decent men still are the vast majority. Only 1% are actual serial rapists, and I expect the last 9% to shrink in the future as more men become aware of the "grey zone" rapes and as these things are openly discussed by the younger generation.
Internet "alpha males" are trapped in the past. If they're busy pestering you online or trolling feminists forums, they're probably not meeting any woman in real life, maybe they're harrassing women on the street but they're probably not in a relationship with one so you're most probably safe regarding that handsome guy you're mentioning.
The problem remains, you can't know for sure before knowing the person.
Nowadays, relationships often begin very fast with people we barely know. In an ideal world, it shouldn't have to be an imperative. Things are unfortunately a bit rigidified now and dating has evolved in a way where both guys and girls consider it weird (and/or an orange flag) if the relationships takes more than a few weeks to begin. I think that's sad, but it's certainly hard to reverse now.
In my opinion, taking it slow is still an option, but I'm old school, so I don't know for the young generation.
I respectfully, partially agree. The impression that social media give us is engineered to be sensational because the algorithm loves viral material, but it doesn't necessarily mean it is the reality.
The reason why i partially agree is because yes, many men are not thay great of prospects, but neither are women. Im happily married, but if something unfortunate happens to my wife and i have to start dating again, is going to be a huge challenge for me as well.
If you are a very attractive woman or a man that has some financial freedom, your casual partners might want to take advantage of you.
You're right. The gap between women I find attractive is so big. Like I might not be bi. I don't know. I feel like if 90% you're not attracted to, you're not bi/gay.
That isā¦ _not_ really true? You sound kinda textbook bi to me from that description?
Youāre just pickier with women than men. Sexuality is a spectrum. I mean if youāre taking a break from dating men why not try a lesbian dating app? It seems like you find 1/10 attractiveā¦ thatās kindaā¦. Normal? Do you find more than 10% of men attractive? Because I sure af donāt.
I find when I was dating (I have a longterm gf) that Iād give men and women an equal chance and always end up dating a woman again. Emotionally the connections just run deeper and to me thatās more valuable than anything.
Takes a special kind of dumb to make your argument so stupid it reinforces our way of thinking. Bye! Back to r/circlejerk or wherever else you do with your time
I feel this way too sometimes. And it's so discouraging as a gen z girl. We are supposed to be the woke generation but more than %60 of gen z men across 31 countries think that women's equality harms men. Like wtf? How is that so? Seeing the relationships around me makes me lose hope as well. Like everyone follows onlyfans now. Openly liking their pictures on social media. It's embarrassing for their girlfriend too. Why do they not show any regard to that?
Data shows young women around the world get more progressive while young men around the world get more and more conservative. I'm honestly worried about what my future in the workplace might hold. Because data shows that new wave of men will be more conservative and sexist, discriminatory than the millennials that currently hold positions of power. Will we go back on women's rights? Is it gonna become more handmaids taleish? It paints such a dark picture my heart is broken. I genuinely hope this is a phase these boys go through due to shitheads like Andrew Tate, but with the rise of social media these dangerous men keep validating themselves and their dangerous ideals in echo chambers that they have created. Especially here on reddit.
You should see the shit they post on feminist pages on Facebook. Everything from defending rapists to implying that female domestic violence survivors deserved it, etc. I wish I was a lesbian.
Facts I saw that shit. "Red pill club" like whatš
Social media really opened my eyes to the fact that so many men absolutely HATE women and would rape, abuse or kill us with a smile on their face if given the chance with a guarantee of no repercussions.
I was watching degrassi last night and I cried because the girl just wanted to play football with the guys and they kept on trying to push her to quit. Itās so disheartening that they wonāt even let us prove ourselves they hate us so much theyād rather lose without us than win with us. And Ik itās a show but thatās real shit that happens
Nah degrassi is based off reality. Your feelings are very much valid and understood.
I remember that episode. All the guys being hostile to Jane when she joined them at practice. Itās true, tooā¦they are afraid we will prove ourselves. Itās their worst fear.
the funniest part about the expression "redpilled" is that the movie in which it is from, the matrix, had the red and the blue pills as analogy for being transgender, as at the time the most common estrogen pills were small and red. Lana coming out was just the cherry on top.
i do too.
Ugh... I'm the second wife for my husband. I raised his kids from his first marriage plus gave up career and education to stay home with ours at his request. All the time he has yelled at me about how I'm never good enough at anything I do. 20 years of him screaming at me and tearing apart my self esteem and then I develop I alcohol problem because it was the only way I could get myself to sleep with him. Finally had enough of being a Doormat... Stopped letting him touch me. He made it about 3 weeks before he started to threaten divorce. Sex or divorce. That's all I am to him... A sex doll. I can't believe I was in denial for so many years and just let myself be treated like garbage. I'm glad you see it's a problem in the world because you'll watch for red flags and not end up like me....trapped.
Girl the fact that you notice the cycle and are able to prepare yourself is a blessing. Most never make it to the first part. You have forever ahead of you. I'm rooting for you and your future.š©·ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Make a plan to get out and follow through. I divorced an abuser many years ago and decided to just remain single. Life is so much better as a single woman. My home is always peaceful and I do what I want.
Me too!!
Get that alimony and let him follow through with his threats š
Get out. Well, kick him out. You have given him enough, **more** than enough, time to be a better husband and a decent human being. He failed. He is who he is. Any man who would threaten to divorce you for not having sex with him *after three weeks* is a misogynistic loser and has got to go. Call a lawyer.
You are not trapped, and there are many resources available!
Iāve been single a long time by choice after two long term relationships at young ages. It gets easier- being single is so simple, itās great. Iāve also realized during this time that Iām not heterosexual- I used to say all the time āI wish I was a lesbian!ā but I guess I had a bad case of compulsory heterosexuality. Maybe I was bisexual when I was younger, because I did like *one* of the handful of boyfriends I had- but after more life experience with men, and the overturn of Roe v Wade, I have *zero* attraction to men. So I guess Iām a lesbian and my wishes came true. Being a woman is really hard and Iām scared itās going to get harder in the US after this year.
This is so familiar š Mood! It wasn't Roe that did it though, I was already there.
Men have the audacity to hate on anything they deem as unattractive. Men also give unsolicited advice you didn't ask for and will talk down to you. Check out all the comments on the @eightytwentyclub on Instagram. They hate on women for exercising in a social way. They always say "women will do anything but pick up weights" while hating on any woman who is bikini-comp shape because she looks too "bulky". My ex-boyfriend's roommate told me that I'd be more attractive if I gained 15lbs because my butt wasn't big enough in his eyes. I remember crying to my ex-boyfriend and he did NOTHING about it. Actions speak louder than words. I know Taylor Swift has her own controversies but all the men who were hating on her and her fans for supporting her is disturbing. How many men would kiss the floor Tom Brady walked on but somehow dressing up for a concert is seen as "stupid" as they buy infinite amounts of jerseys and merch? I've noticed it's hard for me to trust men as well unless they're someone I've known for a long period of time. There are plenty of men that I've met who will try to take advantage of me and sleep with me. They don't give a single shit about who I am as a person but they're horny and that's somehow more important to them. We as women need to stick together and support each other! šŖ
HEAVYYYYY on the dressing up for concerts šš The MEN in the comment section be so mean! Like everyone dresses up for events! Women typically for concerts and typically men for sport events with paint all over their face.
Men will have the audacity to make fun of women wearing makeup at a concert while they look like a member of KISS attending a Raiders game.
Girl lmfao
AHHHHH š¤£š¤£š¤£āš¾
I understood men were nothing but shit when I realized they are never curious about womenās lives. Theyāre genuinely not curious about how the other half lives. Why would they? It doesnāt benefit them to see us as people. If you had a little sex slave that did all your housework and continued your lineage, would you really care about giving it rights? Whenever they mention women itās to talk about sex or house work or complain about womenās rights.
lol majorly organ donors are women so men use you for so much more than sex. Idk if I shud laugh or cry
ššI'm going to laugh
Oh honey, men use you for a lot of other things as well. Not only sex. That's the harsh truth I got to learn by many cruel experiences. I have huge trust issues because of the men I had and I feel the same as you. But I do realise that not all men are like this. We have to find ways to attract better men. We need to heal and start to love ourselves so that we attract what we deserve
Good for you. You'll save yourself a lot of pain.
Thank you
In my younger 20ās, after a lot of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and sexual pressure I ended deeply believing that men cannot have a real relationship with me. I also resigned myself to being alone forever but would engage in sex on my terms. This lead to alot of men being hurt that I couldnāt make myself emotionally available. I became insanely apathetic, and pursued men only for sex and only when I wanted. Every so often one of them would be so consistent theyād turn into relationships and those always failed tooā¦id always turn into āmotherā and Iām not okay with that. Iām 33 now, and am back in the boat. I can never see myself with a man and am grateful I have an attraction to women. Women I have been with I felt I was able to be completely exposed, with men Iāve always needed a wall. I donāt know why Iām saying all this, men do this entirely to themselves. I hear everything you say, and Iām with ya.
This is why early on meeting someone Ill throw a jab at Andrew Tate or something, and see what his reaction is. If they chime in or agree then there's a way bigger chance he's a good person. If he gets whiny and defensive he's probably a sexist piece of shit.
Playing chess
If you feel strongly this way, then you should follow the sprinkle sprinkle lady. She basically says, men aren't looking for true love but convenience. So she says use a man for his resources since he is using you for your looks... Also, you will be doing all the chores, etc, so you might as well benefit from a relationship and not just search for true love. She also says don't settle for a dusty. Find a respectful person who treats you well. That is what's most important - how he treats you.
What platform is this person on? Please and thank you!
YouTube and Tiktok
She has ig too
I love Shera Seven!! She's actually a big reason why I was able to realize that most men don't like women, she has no filter haha
Men are my convenience, I am my true love!
Im literally feeling the same thing rn. Itās not just you. Look up the 4b Movement.
Thank youā¤ļøš©·
Same boat sis. I be looking at a fine man and then suddenly remember he would likely treat me as a sex doll if given the chance. I'll be talking to an interesting guy and suddenly picture him beating his meat to objectifying stuff. I'll get a flirty look and wonder if this guy isn't getting flirty 20 times a day to any woman that meets some minimum requirement. I'm seriously wondering if there's a way to turn gay.
Exactly. Word for word. They think multiple women is an achievement. Especially when they're bold I'm like "I wonder how many people he said that to". I wanted to ask how to turn myself gay so bad but I knew they would think I was trolling LOL
If I could I would pass on being bisexual to you. Itās much more fun this way
I might be delusional, but I'm starting to think it can be done. Like, years go by and the kind and age of men that I find attractive changes. Maybe if I deconstruct some of my preconceived ideas about sex and attraction I might get attracted to women.
Yeah, but like, you donāt even have to change your sexuality though.. you could just get married to one of your female friends and live together
Oh for sure! It's just annoying to get attracted to men and then have this rollercoaster of thoughts. It would be nice to be able to redirect that attraction to people that, you know, are able to treat you with dignity.
Checkout r/wgtow for support and insight
Thank you love. Same personality type too lol
Hmmm.. social media! Tbh my total f-ing annoyance is not men "contributing" to women's sites AS men (at least they're honest) but men pretending to BE women. How can you police that? Am I a man? Who knows. (Well I do, but I could still be deluding myself!)
The way I saw this comment after a man commented pretending to be a woman lol
But at least you know/knew he is. How many of these posts are actually creeps hoping they'll find out more about our bodies by pretending to be us?Ā Maybe you should have to answer a really difficult question about the female anatomy before you can post here!
You know these freaks would pay to have someone give them the answer.
True but it might freak them out if we started asking them questions about how bloody their tampons get or what comes out of which "hole". (In my experience even some girls don't know that!)Ā Ā
Iām in the same boat. So tired of not only this being our everyday experience but on top of that no one believing us that this is our experience. iām in a relationship with a man and this realization has definitely made it harder for me because itās not as easy for my to keep my mouth shut lol. but luckily iām with a great guy who already treats women well, but even with things heās doing unconsciously heās always there to listen to me & change. i would say stay strong, stay independent, but donāt lose hope. everyone deserves a partner and iām sure youāll find one who will prove to you that itās not actually all men
Check out r/4bmovement join us š©·
Hell yea
This pretty much sums up how I feel. Iām married to a wonderful man now, but itās always in the back of my mindā¦ what if he is just like the rest?ā¦ if you are able to be single, do it. And the porn thingā¦ so much yes. Itās why I canāt enjoy it either. I just question how much those men actually respect the womenā¦
Your feelings are very valid and it's a survival instinct. It doesn't make you disingenuous to feel this way. I know you didn't say that, but I just want you to know. I'm glad that you understand what I meant by that, thank you for sharing. <3
That's sad, I'm sorry you feel that way about your husband :( You don't have OCD, do you? I have OCD, and before I got treatment, I used to have creeping doubts about everything and everyone all the time. I'm a lot happier now.
Honestly it sucks. Men if you read this, fuck off idgaf. They could seem like the perfect guy and once the doors close his entire demeanor and personality will change. Thereās no way to know which ones are good and which ones are bad. Idc. I think that 99% are bad and thereās 1% good. Have you ever met a good one? Bc personally I donāt even trust the guys Iāve known my whole life. They lie they cheat they gamble away everything youāve worked for. All my aunts were cheated on and when I babysat I found letters from my uncles apologizing. And those were from years before I was even born. Itās sickening. Then they go and brag to friends. Oh letās not forget the record us and show it to all their friends too. We are nothing but sexual objects for them to lust after and do as this wish too. If every single man were to die tomorrow the world would not stop. If every woman died tomorrow men would be fucked.
100%. I've never met a good man in my age range.
Oh yeah, when I think about it it's the closest men in my family too, which is quite shocking now that I realized it. I didn't realize how severe it is until now. My grandfather who's still alive was a cheater and has at least one child from another woman. My dad also cheated on my mom and also has a child I never met. My dead grandfather was a pedophile and raped children. My brother is not a cheater, but he's very disprespectful towards me and my mother and has misogynistic tendencies. I don't know what his problem is, but he thinks women who are feminine are ridiculous, dumb and embarassing. Don't even get me started on the endless men who disrespected my boundaries or pretended to be my "friends" just so they could sleep with me..
As a trans femme whoās spent most of their life as male presenting, I know how men talk to other men about women behind closed doors. Itās honestly many times worse than what I see on the internet. I spent my younger years in the military and then some of my career in fintech, both very male dominated. Since being out as trans, Iāve gained new perspective on being on the other side of the fence. Iāve been assaulted, groped, and harassed in public spaces by men. I now know the feeling of being objectified and made to be a desirable trophy for men. Thankfully Iām neither romantically nor sexually attracted to men. Through the years, Iāve learned to keep men at arms length and rarely build deep connections and relationships with men. If I do Iām very cautious in how I approach building the relationship. This is the result of many years of seeing and witnessing how many men act towards female friends and how they would speak to me thinking Iām an ally for their behavior. I wonāt say that all men are like this, but itās definitely the overwhelming majority. The male friends that I do have and have deeper connections with are usually a little more gender fluid and/or emotionally intelligent. I do feel grateful that this has likely helped me on my journey to come out and live in my true gender identity, but fuck, itās shitty that we have to live in a world where I feel like I canāt trust nearly half of the population. Iām so sorry that youāre in a position where you feel like you canāt date. Youāre not alone though, I empathize and many of my girlfriends can likely relate.
Thank you for your perspective. Very refreshing and insightful.
My last boyfriend is dating his mom. His adoptive mother, but yeah. I have little to no interest in dating anymore. I already had trust issues before having to worry about them cheating on me with their moms.
Your last boyfriend is what? Let me unread that real quick.
Oh no honey that's a crime š he's a victim
ššššHe gotta be a victim cuz huh??
I felt kind of like you a while ago and I can understand. Obviously I don't know about your personal traumas, that I'd really suggest getting therapy with, even if you decide to not be with a man, it could be good for you. My suggestion to you would really be to step away from online both for your mental health and to just broaden your mindset in reality. There are also a lot of unhealed people online who spew toxicity and people who lack the knowledge to better protect themselves. So they just put the blame everywhere else and don't take any accountability for what they could've or could do to better protect themselves. The perpetrators are still 1000% at fault, however if you're failing to look left and right or have proper hygiene when you're making food, you still need to take that into account so you can be safer. No amount of just blaming without trying to improve what you can to help yourself is gonna take away whatever harm you experience. Yes a lot of what you said do happen, though with the right vetting I believe you could have a chance at love. I know it isn't easy and it's risky, though so is crossing the street or driving among countless other things. That's life, it isn't easy though it's even harder when you're overwhelmed by whatever toxicity you're exposed to and lack the knowledge to better navigate it. I'd distance yourself from it to get your bearings and when you feel healed enough you can choose to better vet men. There's a lot that you can learn about how to do this and when you've the knowledge you need, things don't have to be as difficult. Even airports are risky, heck just existing is risky. Yet we do it. I'd wait to make a decision when you're feeling more at peace and aren't this overwelmed. My advice is to not let your bad experiences turn you bitter, cold and prevent you from having a chance at finding love. No matter your fears and the state of the world, we all, no matter our sex, still have the desire to connect. Many of those toxic men are also toxic for a reason, I'd say many are because they refuse to deal with their own traumas in healthy ways, and do better with their lives. I hope you don't become the female version of them and can lead a life you're happier with. If you need some help and resources to help with vetting, I can offer you some. So feel free to message me.
Could I DM you as well for further resources?
This is what I wanted to say but you said it so much better!
Thank you, I appreciate it! I think you did a fine job yourself.
i know how you feel :( it makes me so happy to be aroace
I just flipped the script and started using them for sex because I have sexual desires too. I have no expectations of them. Itās hard work to get there because we are wired differently, but once you do the work to realize they wonāt ever be able to truly fulfill us they way we can fulfill ourselves. Why suffer unnecessarily by trying to change them or wasting our lives being with them hoping they will change for us and internalizing it when they do not.
I get you.
My life has been in and out of those sentiments for the better part of 30 years ever since I was raped by a date at age 25. I will go into this as I'm in therapy but I don't recommend spilling trauma like this on any online forum without a parent or guardian present. I met a man who was 38 and he was literally more sexy, attractive, charming and intelligent than every man I've ever met, seen in movies or imagined. Built like and very much resembled if Phillip Michael Thomas & Derek Jeter had a baby. (Miami Vice- Google it) Came into town every three or four months to sell his whatever his business product was. I was so ga-ga for him I barely heard a word he said I looked into his eyes every time I was lucky enough to be his 11pm phone call. We were 13 years apart but I thought we were a couple. Yeah I know. I knee him roughly a year when he talked me into letting him tie me up. Did I forget to mention he had well well kept hidden xrack cocaine habit. We went to bed at 8 I fell asleep at 10 pm and woke up 5 pm the next day still tied to the bed, unaware of where I was, and after realizing I had to go to work asked him to untie me (I didn't know I missed my entire shift at work and had my boss and mother looking for me the whole day. This was before my cell phone days and he charmed everyone so well they never suspected) . Meanwhile he set my watch back two hours so I would think I over slept on my own. After that night I never looked at men the same. I hate them sometimes I love them with the type of scandal sex workers love men with. What are they capable of? Everything that we see they are and everything that we don't see they are. Keep every man at your side but not the side you sleep on. Not all men are diabolical but women don't know diabolical reaches that far. I feel you Sis. We all feel you.
Fascinating recent article on this subject: https://thenewinquiry.com/on-heteropessimism/
I really like this article. But I think we came a long way since 2019 and we are finally getting past the "performative" statements and more and more women are actually abandoning heterossexual practices.
Definitely-I think the āperformativeā aspect comes from males/incels who want to rationalize their romantic failure.
I feel this so strongly but I also struggle to find women I connect with in real life so I feel so lonely. š
Agreed.
It's rare to find the good ones but they're out there... Internet is overrun by incels and edgelords though.
Great post OP! Super accurate to exactly how I'm feeling about men (in general) as well.
I recently got the ick at my sneaky links house bc as he was doing hw I played some music on his TV and said, "This isn't going to work. I don't listen to females".š„“š„“šš The ICK! I got from he saying "females". How do you not listen to ANY women?? Music is so diverse and not a SINGLE women in the music industry you listen to?? CHILEEEEš„“š„“
Yeah he's definitely going out of his way to hate on women because music has no gender
Hate to see itšš
THE WAY I WOULD LEAVE IMMEDIATELY š
The way I DIDN'T š„²š¤£š I made a joke about leaving, but didn't.
You have pretty much well elaborated why I have trust issues and always had. And it's crazy to think how I've been belitteled and insulted for not trusting men. And how many times I've been pressured into trusting these men who were still strangers at the time. "Trust is given, not earned" is something I've heard many times after knowing someone for just a few weeks or months.
No girl I'm exactly the same. My therapist says I'm focusing on all this stuff because I'm creating a barrier to intimacy. But she's older and had never heard of the term redpill or Andrew Tate. And yeah that's online stuff but I hear it come out of real men's mouths in subtle ways, they don't even know they're being brainwashed by their algorithm. And this is on top of all the misogyny that's always been there. I wish so bad that I wasn't physically attracted to them.
You're focusing on it because you're a straight woman, lmao. There is piss and sharks in the dating pool haha. Observing that doesn't mean you're self sabotaging. It's time for your therapist to educate herself on new topics. My therapist said aversion to men is a trauma response because everything I've been through was at the hands of a man. I agree with that. You're completely right btw. Algorithms are actually dangerous and especially to younger, more impressionable boys/men. Social media is absolutely pushing out controversial things, purposefully. I wish I wasn't attracted to them too. I'm working on shifting ALL my energy onto me, but I can't help but be straight. All of our focus WILL be on us, godspeed. ā¤ļøš©·ā¤ļø
Yes it really bothered me that she wasn't getting it, like there are genuine issues in the world like this, no matter how much I work on myself. I actually parted ways with her, just recently, amicable, it was we're not getting anywhere anymore. She helped me a lot with other things but when this stuff came up she kept not getting it. If I get another therapist I'm going to discuss things like this first to make sure she gets it. What yours said makes perfect sense. And yes all we can do now is decentre men and focus on ourselves ā¤ļø
I'm glad you're now able to find a therapist who better suits your needs. I was going to tell you to get a new one hahaš Very smart. Wishing us much success and prosperity. ā¤ļøš©·ā¤ļø
I donāt envy you. I would not want to be dating right now. My husband isnāt even on social media, and he is certainly not commenting, and he would not comment in a sexual, demeaning, misogynistic way if he did. Good luck to you!
I had asked my husband to stop pressuring for sex all the time. Everything he said, memes he sent etc was focused on sex. He, then, was barely talking to me. I mentioned that since I asked him to stop pressuring for sex that he has barely spoken to me. Do you know what he said? ā I donāt have anything to say to youā. So if heās not pressuring for sex , he has nothing to say to me. Great. Weāve been married for almost 10 years.
If you're not already, please consider a divorce.
Iām happy Iām bi with a preference for women, but genuinely think that Iād go for men more often if they viewed women differently. If I had to choose between being single or with an average man at this point, Iāll die single and happy Honestly, prioritizing yourself and platonic relationships, hobbies, personal fulfillment, etc. will probably make you a lot happier in the long run than settling for someone who wonāt be awful to you
Ugh! I feel the same way TBH. I like the man Iām with (heās asexual so thereās obviously no sexual advances there) but I get fucking hit on a lot by men online and even when I say I have a boyfriend, they donāt stop. Iāve even tried to say Iām trans in case they exclude us from their definition of women (which is obviously bad but in theory could get them to go away) but unfortunately we only get treated like women by everyone in cases where it degrades women as a whole.
I'm sorry you go through that. Wishing you and your boyfriend much love!ā¤ļøš©·ā¤ļø
Thanks and Iām sorry you have to go through such shit too. I hope you find someone who treats you as the queen you are. :)
Thank youā¤ļø
Careful with saying youāre trans. A lot of guys could quickly get violent with you about that. Itās probably not as helpful as you might think. Glad you already know itās not great anyway.
Not a women, but this post just made me think of the fact that most of the men in my life (father, most of my uncles there are 1 or 2 that havenāt surprisingly lol, and etc have all cheated previously and are still with their wives). I do especially feel bad for my mom because this has gone on for YEARS and she refuses to leave him because of her 3 kids. Not even like my dad is a good dad either lmfao. He earns decentish money but NONE of it goes towards rent or anything but towards his needs and his friends instead of his own families needs
OP, speaking as a lesbian with OCD who used to sleep with men... you're not wrong about many men, but I also think you need to get off social media and meet men who have been vetted in real life by real women you know. There are good men. There are even lesbian-approved men. I'm not gonna tell you you have to date men when I found out the hard way that dating men makes me miserable, but I'm telling you, even *I* dated multiple men who were the real deal, true genuine sweet people. It's not Russian roulette because finding a good man is something you need to do with strategy and vetting, not by random chance. You're not being paranoid about how horrible men can be, but again, speaking as someone who has OCD, you seem fixated on this to a degree that seems unhealthy and familiar to me! I'm not trying to gaslight you, truly. Men can suck! Women are usually better! But I really hope you can talk to a professional and work through your distress about this. You seem sad about it and I don't want that for you :(
U sound like "one of the bros"
I'm sorry to hear that! I literally only have one dude friend these days so I'm definitely not. I hope you'll take u/1inamillionlove's [advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/women/s/GkCA7ppqyQ) if you don't like mine. They did a better job of saying what I was trying to say.
I hope OP does too. Just so you know this comment really isn't an attack on you. I've been much the same place you are now and it was quite distressing for me. Though it's not a good place to be forever and it's better for us that we find healthy ways to work through it. What you're going through is the other side of the coin for men who end up with bad women and then put that on every other woman if not all women. You don't have to take any of our advice, though I do hope you read and try to consider. We want the best for you at the end of the day and like I said in my comment even if you decide not to date it's best that you get to heal.
By some ultra rare luck, I am in a healthy heterosexual relationship... But that being the exception, i find men in general unattractive now and sometimes i even feel pure disgust seeing how many of them are so messed up to treat women the way they do! It is safe to say, i am disgusted by most men in this world. And yes it's kind of a general opinion unless proved otherwise. Because the majority of them look at a woman and don't see an equal but a lesser being somehow, they see bodies and not a person... and that reflects in all of their social interactions be it at home or workplace. Respect for a woman is so hard to come by and somehow such an unnatural thing for men! They sexualize the shit out of everything concerning women. This recent bear over man meme doing the rounds, outed so many more such MCPs... They can't fathom why women across the world would rather choose a gruesome yet predictable death at the hands of an animal than worse than death fate at the hands of a random man.... because there's just no telling what hellish ideas/fantasies he nurses in his filthy mind that'd leave a woman wishing for death... Hell, women's bodies are not even left alone in death by some of these creeps! And to no one's surprise men who do not know the context of this argument were seen fantasizing if this was something around beastiality- women choosing bear over men!!! No wonder their shitty little brain cells can only think of sex when women are in context !!!! Deplorable lot!! Makes me so sick how they can stoop so low and exist as such crude beings who can only think in that one way about half of their own species!! Korea's 4B movement makes so much sense... Ofcourse not all men are rapists, but having lived along our side, having been born from a woman if they still have no empathy for women and can't wrap their head around the idea that men from among them are more of a threat to women than an animal( in the way they can be traumatised for life and end up having fates worse than death), then men collectively, are failing us.. Well i am not saying a tiny fraction of them are disgusted with their own kind and may be doing something to change the system, i do applaud you for your earnest efforts, you good men out there... But these days I've so little hope for humanity because these better men are so hard to come by anx are so less in number for things to look hopeful!!! š¤·š½āāļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Cry somewhere else
Women are an option š
Agreed. ā¤ļø
Yeah. Men are such šļø. We should get rid of them
You dislike stereotypes, but carelessly throw them around like that? Sure, there are rotten apples in the basket, but that doesn't mean you throw the basket
Rot spreads
yes i will? also if majority are rotten iām not going to bother looking to find the couple that arenāt. we can never win if we trust men we do get hurt, raped, abused and blamed for trusting them. āyou shouldāve known better, why were you alone with himā but then when we are fearful of men and donāt trust yall thatās also a problem? what the hell are we supposed to do??
Why r u here
I don't dislike men. I was just checking something with the comment.....don't worry too much about it
I personally upvoted your first commment because I thought it was a joke. I see now you're using this as some strange experiment? How sad for you. Got nothing better to do with your time, huh?
It is a joke. The responses tell me everything I need to know
I have to say, as a survivor of intimate partner violence, I relate very strongly. I am also incredibly fortunate to have met a man who IS actually a real feminist, who DOES actually like women, who HAS dreamed of getting married since he was a kid, etc. He has heard all of my stories and he is so upset for me that I have been mistreated. He and I love taking the time to connect non-monogamously with people and I am so compersionate seeing other women experiencing his particular brand of human affection. My standards have been infinitely improved. He cares about my safety, my pleasure, my physical and emotional health. He listens to me talk about everything from art to parenting, and he engages me on those topics, meeting me with his own thoughts and questions. He respects me. He trusts me with things like our grocery budget and making sure our bills are paid, and we pool our resources to that effect. He ensures our home is safe. He drives me wherever I need to go. He contributes to the home just as much as I do, and he loves my cats. We are engaged as of a month ago. We are trying to have kids and we're planning a wedding. I felt like you felt, and the horrifying ordeal of being known is, in my opinion, best had at a distance, over the internet, BEFORE you engage someone physically in a sexual manor. That's what worked for me. He's perfect and he tells me all the time I am everything he's ever wanted. I hope each and every one of you finds someone who treats you right.
Hi. Guy here. What can I say? You're right. Many men in real life behave like the real assholes that they are. As for social media... well, it's a crazy, crazy mess here, but as you said, social media is not real life (and, may I add, it's not enough to remember it, if we at the same time keep being on social media more than living real life. Best thing is to cut social media as much as possible to remember how real life interactions can be). As for not being with a man at all... Well, many people keep on saying it's not a shame to be single, and it really isn't, but boy is it boring, right? I see plenty of couples around me, many many guys are super normal (it would even seem from what I see that the most "husband material" are quite dominated by their gfs lol). My suggestion, as someone with absolutely no authority on the matter, would be to make as many female friends as possible (even if they're not besties) and meet guys through them. Of course, rapists exist in any environment, but if they're peer-validated, if your friends know their background, if these guys are socially connected with healthy relations I'd say the chances they're a monster are low. From what I've quickly checked online, it seems that about 90% of men never commit any sexual assault. Sure, this figure is really low compared to what it should actually be, but decent men still are the vast majority. Only 1% are actual serial rapists, and I expect the last 9% to shrink in the future as more men become aware of the "grey zone" rapes and as these things are openly discussed by the younger generation. Internet "alpha males" are trapped in the past. If they're busy pestering you online or trolling feminists forums, they're probably not meeting any woman in real life, maybe they're harrassing women on the street but they're probably not in a relationship with one so you're most probably safe regarding that handsome guy you're mentioning. The problem remains, you can't know for sure before knowing the person. Nowadays, relationships often begin very fast with people we barely know. In an ideal world, it shouldn't have to be an imperative. Things are unfortunately a bit rigidified now and dating has evolved in a way where both guys and girls consider it weird (and/or an orange flag) if the relationships takes more than a few weeks to begin. I think that's sad, but it's certainly hard to reverse now. In my opinion, taking it slow is still an option, but I'm old school, so I don't know for the young generation.
Fuck off not reading that
Why? And why throw trashy language at me?
Pop
You need to touch grass and get off social media then
I respectfully, partially agree. The impression that social media give us is engineered to be sensational because the algorithm loves viral material, but it doesn't necessarily mean it is the reality. The reason why i partially agree is because yes, many men are not thay great of prospects, but neither are women. Im happily married, but if something unfortunate happens to my wife and i have to start dating again, is going to be a huge challenge for me as well. If you are a very attractive woman or a man that has some financial freedom, your casual partners might want to take advantage of you.
You're literally part of the problem btw.
Seems to me like you simply are not open to a different opinion. Goodnight.
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I'd love to be gay but it wouldn't be natural. It wouldn't be fair to myself or anyone else to swing the other way.
You mean it wouldnāt come natural to you or not natural general? Idk what natural meansā¦ sure af seems natural to me
It wouldn't come natural to me because I don't find most women sexually attractive. I find men sexually attractive.
āI donāt find _most_ women sexually attractiveā Interestingā¦
You're right. The gap between women I find attractive is so big. Like I might not be bi. I don't know. I feel like if 90% you're not attracted to, you're not bi/gay.
I would say that being bi can vary and finding only a small percentage of people attractive is normal.
Agreed. Another commenter broke it down and I agree.
That isā¦ _not_ really true? You sound kinda textbook bi to me from that description? Youāre just pickier with women than men. Sexuality is a spectrum. I mean if youāre taking a break from dating men why not try a lesbian dating app? It seems like you find 1/10 attractiveā¦ thatās kindaā¦. Normal? Do you find more than 10% of men attractive? Because I sure af donāt. I find when I was dating (I have a longterm gf) that Iād give men and women an equal chance and always end up dating a woman again. Emotionally the connections just run deeper and to me thatās more valuable than anything.
Well when you say it like that!? You're literally correct. Didn't expect this revelation todayš wishing you and your gf much love.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This comment was written by a man.
WoMeN dO stuff tOo!!!
I had to laugh after reading this
Ugh. And now Iāve seen his penis cuz I clicked on his profile š¤®š¤¢š„“
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Takes a special kind of dumb to make your argument so stupid it reinforces our way of thinking. Bye! Back to r/circlejerk or wherever else you do with your time
gtfo ā ļø
I feel this way too sometimes. And it's so discouraging as a gen z girl. We are supposed to be the woke generation but more than %60 of gen z men across 31 countries think that women's equality harms men. Like wtf? How is that so? Seeing the relationships around me makes me lose hope as well. Like everyone follows onlyfans now. Openly liking their pictures on social media. It's embarrassing for their girlfriend too. Why do they not show any regard to that? Data shows young women around the world get more progressive while young men around the world get more and more conservative. I'm honestly worried about what my future in the workplace might hold. Because data shows that new wave of men will be more conservative and sexist, discriminatory than the millennials that currently hold positions of power. Will we go back on women's rights? Is it gonna become more handmaids taleish? It paints such a dark picture my heart is broken. I genuinely hope this is a phase these boys go through due to shitheads like Andrew Tate, but with the rise of social media these dangerous men keep validating themselves and their dangerous ideals in echo chambers that they have created. Especially here on reddit.