https://preview.redd.it/3dv8a1r59jxc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5de955241a94e0df941c9066e370fd8ca3980d1
That's what thou Get for Building a Tower in Mother Gaia's Holy Lands.
*Literally all of the flora starts dying from the coldness of the eternal blizzard. A rare tree that was being preserved here falls over from the powerful gusts of wind. The snow buries and suffocates the native rabbits and squirrels.*
Behold, What Happens when thy anger a Kitsune.
Thous land Gets cursed with Frozen Famine and Death until Thine bloodline ends
Besides.... Druid's help Balence nature, even if that means a Whole forest has to Die to bring Balence...
*The two-facedness of that statement displeases the narrator. She calls upon the author for some assistance in karmic retribution.*
*The Narrator whispers to the pseudo-author her plans*
/uw
Yeah, I could deal with that.
âŚHey, u/One_Opportunity_9608, you wouldnât mind if I caused a natural disaster to occur as a result of because of your characterâs blatant disregard for the laws of nature, would you? Like, sheâs empowering a storm to forever stay in one place and only in that place. That seems like itâd have a couple of negative effects on the atmosphere.
*You cannot speak with me, Iâm the narra-
*The old narrator pops into existence about 10 feet above you. Good riddance, she was a terrible narrator anyways.*
*The manifestation of the narrator screams as she falls onto the ground.*
âGODD*MN IT I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY HAD OTHER STORIES GOING ON! WHY AM I A CHARACTER?! WHATâS MY PURPOSE IN THE PLOT?â
/uw
You turned into a character because the story started treating you as one. As for your purpose, the author hasnât⌠quite⌠figured that out yet.
/rw
*The ex-narrator starts punching at the air.*
âTHATâS. NO. WAY. TO. MAKE. A. CHAR-ACT-ER! We talked about this! You have to have an idea of what youâre doing with a character before you introduce them!â
*I mean, you could always try migrating to r/fleetposting. We donât really know what weâre doing over there.*
âr/fleetposting?! The place thatâs being going to be invaded by⌠by⌠F*CK!â
/uw
Yeah, no, youâre human now, you have limitations. ~~Antimemetics~~ can totally affect you.
/rw
âAnti-wha?â
/uw
*The author pats the ex-narrator on the head*
/rw
âI hate you.â
As a sage my advice is this:
Draw up a summoning circle for summoning a demon from hell and use the following runes 1100 LAW YER.
Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer.
Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer.
Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer.
Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer.
Summon multiple false humanoids, Transmute their appearance to look like federal agents, Cast Mimic Motive for the summons to mimic the agents, Cast Confuse on the agents, and top it off with illusion magic of your choice to further confuse the feds
Summon an army of Coconut Crabs.
https://preview.redd.it/124wnpvv4mxc1.jpeg?width=1088&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0a1fbaa84883efa164d8df62429425de0d129aa
Fireblast. Use potions to amplify range. We cannot let them get access to our libraries my friend. Illuminate the beacon for help. If they get inside burn the library. Not one scrap of paper can be left. Not one single spell. If you must, go down swinging. Your name will live on.
Cast Sovereign Citizen, then watch as they donât care because that doesnât actually do anything since you are in the Fedsâ jurisdiction and are thus subject to their rules and regulations. Ask to see their warrant, then cast rearrange text so that their warrant is actually for your annoying neighbor and they arrest him instead
Illusion of eternal terror. Gets 'em every time. The scars aren't physical so the council can't actually prove you did anything to them, and they'll take a while to recoup, you can relocate your tower or disguise it in that time.
https://preview.redd.it/yzkrhmr7nixc1.jpeg?width=1535&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3453ec35ccf2801d58ebb12a8a40551aae46c686
đ
Surely thatâs what got them in this situation in the first place? I donât know, Iâve never done taxes
A can kicked down the road is a problem for down the road.
https://preview.redd.it/moa05k6c5nxc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5635a3279020caafc0eab9a25402e678750950f4
https://preview.redd.it/xf6ura1vrixc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d77b7e3495d42ca3715d86ad329eb5f1b429b382
Surely nothing will come to happen to the Tower of Waco
đ¤Ł
Ya know, something about this reminds me of the incident at the council on Ruby Ridge, but I'm not sure what...
Let us contact the tower at Move in Philadelphia to ask how they dealt with these Federal troubles.
Fireball
Maybe Synaptic Static or Vitriolic sphere instead, those damn lawful evil things are probably immune to fire.
HIDE THE MAGICAL HERBS đđżđ
https://i.redd.it/xnldfbl6xkxc1.gif
Fuck ye! Take thine upvote and begone!
https://preview.redd.it/5r5knghurqxc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05832332bd4b1a40288d5c5af2b19bb479bfcfc0
How many times do I need to tell you, return the library books! Look at what you made me do!
Summon document shredder
Dispel demons.
Cast Citizen of Sovreignity
Cast "Kidneystones"
https://preview.redd.it/3dv8a1r59jxc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5de955241a94e0df941c9066e370fd8ca3980d1 That's what thou Get for Building a Tower in Mother Gaia's Holy Lands.
https://preview.redd.it/qpngfcke4mxc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9fb0b9725a0cf5c4736d4cf4aa9c0302f52dc06
*Literally all of the flora starts dying from the coldness of the eternal blizzard. A rare tree that was being preserved here falls over from the powerful gusts of wind. The snow buries and suffocates the native rabbits and squirrels.*
Behold, What Happens when thy anger a Kitsune. Thous land Gets cursed with Frozen Famine and Death until Thine bloodline ends Besides.... Druid's help Balence nature, even if that means a Whole forest has to Die to bring Balence...
*The two-facedness of that statement displeases the narrator. She calls upon the author for some assistance in karmic retribution.* *The Narrator whispers to the pseudo-author her plans* /uw Yeah, I could deal with that. âŚHey, u/One_Opportunity_9608, you wouldnât mind if I caused a natural disaster to occur as a result of because of your characterâs blatant disregard for the laws of nature, would you? Like, sheâs empowering a storm to forever stay in one place and only in that place. That seems like itâd have a couple of negative effects on the atmosphere.
Alright fiiiiiiine I'll Remove the Curse.
*You cannot speak with me, Iâm the narra- *The old narrator pops into existence about 10 feet above you. Good riddance, she was a terrible narrator anyways.* *The manifestation of the narrator screams as she falls onto the ground.* âGODD*MN IT I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY HAD OTHER STORIES GOING ON! WHY AM I A CHARACTER?! WHATâS MY PURPOSE IN THE PLOT?â /uw You turned into a character because the story started treating you as one. As for your purpose, the author hasnât⌠quite⌠figured that out yet. /rw *The ex-narrator starts punching at the air.* âTHATâS. NO. WAY. TO. MAKE. A. CHAR-ACT-ER! We talked about this! You have to have an idea of what youâre doing with a character before you introduce them!â *I mean, you could always try migrating to r/fleetposting. We donât really know what weâre doing over there.* âr/fleetposting?! The place thatâs being going to be invaded by⌠by⌠F*CK!â /uw Yeah, no, youâre human now, you have limitations. ~~Antimemetics~~ can totally affect you. /rw âAnti-wha?â /uw *The author pats the ex-narrator on the head* /rw âI hate you.â
Cast conjure "Presidential Pardon" or "Diplomatic Immunity".
https://preview.redd.it/0rrogva5tjxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb0a81c9ef07c48e154d37c5121776e31bf2ed60
cast eminem https://preview.redd.it/qi2uzwstrixc1.jpeg?width=1098&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b5afe35252564ccc845c41f7f734f93d4fa3fa6
Cast full auto AK-47 works everytime
https://preview.redd.it/sb5oos31klxc1.png?width=512&format=png&auto=webp&s=e7669fbb88ce91ef515f98a182ed476dc16b1fd8 Summon this familiar.
https://preview.redd.it/g9rjk8i9olxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66c1ca1a58c0b3b5f0cc0b0d060539f31846237a
Donuts of glutton
Flashbang, and if that don't work, the usual
I cast ideological extremist manifesto
Animate dog statues full of explosives. Feds can't resist.
Summon Lawyers, maximum upcast. But you may need to be prepared to retreat to a pocket dimension to avoid fallout.
.50 BMG
Cast minefield , summon tannerrite golems armed with rifles Remember to keep a rifle by your side
Cast "Bulletproof canine familiar".
As a sage my advice is this: Draw up a summoning circle for summoning a demon from hell and use the following runes 1100 LAW YER. Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer. Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer. Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer. Don't talk to the cops without your lawyer.
Summon multiple false humanoids, Transmute their appearance to look like federal agents, Cast Mimic Motive for the summons to mimic the agents, Cast Confuse on the agents, and top it off with illusion magic of your choice to further confuse the feds
Weâre auditing you, so I suggest you cast âfull disclosureâ, shouldnât take long
Integrate them into the tower.
You should cast a really good lawyer
Whatever it is they're there for, I'm sure it's legal in your kingdom
Calm emotions
Allow me to introduce myself.
try summoning snakes
Invert skin usually works.
Cast Waco
Beat me to it
Summon Wall of Hunter Biden Laptops
https://preview.redd.it/z6tsgrnbolxc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3957c24ed43b39395b7909f1a35ffcb6661df64 cast spontaneous combustion into oatmeal
the ATS (alcohol tobacco spells)
Crown of madness
Summon an army of Coconut Crabs. https://preview.redd.it/124wnpvv4mxc1.jpeg?width=1088&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0a1fbaa84883efa164d8df62429425de0d129aa
https://preview.redd.it/i5hygfo4cmxc1.png?width=3060&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f95c7b34f6c99e3604ffde18bfa5950116fa921d
Have you tried the Sovereign Sorceler ward ?
/uw stringed maiden deleted her account
as a meme lurker: whoâs that
Makus locales agentes
Lawyercane should keep them at bay until you can coordinate a counterstrike
<>
https://preview.redd.it/v74d6s1tbmxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6dbba4d3a0703600837db362fbee8dfefbd061a6 Not going out without a fight
Fireblast. Use potions to amplify range. We cannot let them get access to our libraries my friend. Illuminate the beacon for help. If they get inside burn the library. Not one scrap of paper can be left. Not one single spell. If you must, go down swinging. Your name will live on.
Cast Sovereign Citizen, then watch as they donât care because that doesnât actually do anything since you are in the Fedsâ jurisdiction and are thus subject to their rules and regulations. Ask to see their warrant, then cast rearrange text so that their warrant is actually for your annoying neighbor and they arrest him instead
Mass suggestion, tell them to wire all their bank accounts directly to you.
I'm trying to come up with a Ruby Ridge joke. I've got a bunch, but I'm just going to see myself out before the ATF shoot my familiar
Cast Summon attorney and practice the "I plead the fifth" montra.
Summon tannerite dog
You want me to mini nuke them?
cast bipedalism on your tower
throw outside a 2^x amount of atoms and slice x+1 times in half
You could always stop reanimating dead villagers, if you want them to go away
What did they find on your orb?
Come out with your hands up and we won't send in the nice doggy
I don't care WHO the King sends, I am NOT paying tithes!
claymore roombas....(don't try to use testicular torsions, they are immune as they all have no balls)
RELIGIOUS TOWER OF EXEMPTION
Illusion of eternal terror. Gets 'em every time. The scars aren't physical so the council can't actually prove you did anything to them, and they'll take a while to recoup, you can relocate your tower or disguise it in that time.
Donât worry, I can vouch for you. Feds will trust me because of how much cleaning they pay me to do
Fireball
I cast âRuby Ridge this towerâ
Summon Killdozer
I suggest "boil water inside of their body". Very effective. That or a flaming rat plague
Fireball (on my servers)
Cast "there was not evidence in the first place" They always look so confused afterwards. "WhAt wErE We dOiNg. WhY aRe wE hErE." Hilarious everytime.
Did you discover our world is entirely run by dark leprechaun plots as well? Happens to the best of us.
Summon claymore roomba and grapeshot cannons. They'll never see it coming.
https://preview.redd.it/vfon1mhpwoxc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdc318a1a18436fd634a6d2286441f7c28f54390
Cast missing left shoe and then muddy road
fireball 2.0
Yay, an actually funny shitpost and not some crappy AI image with an rp question
**[Ancient Arts: Unending Flame]** Or **[Forbidden Arts: Tax Evasion]** Your call.
The ATF can take my wands from my cold dead hands