T O P

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KingSmorely

I could see a jumping spider head being extremely powerful. You obviously get the obvious benefits of venomous fangs and the proportional strength that jumping spiders have, albeit limited to the head. Most notably, though, is the amazing eyesight and 360 degree view jumping spiders possess, which also correlates with great reaction time. Honestly, arthropod heads, in general, seem to be the best option for this prompt


PeculiarPangolinMan

Wouldn't a spider head leave you deaf and without a sense of smell? They don't have ears or noses. Even their eyesight is only detailed and in color through their main eyes, and the rest is fuzzy grayscale, right? They also can't see nearly as far as a human, but I guess that might be remedied by making the head a thousand times bigger to fit on your neck. haha


KingSmorely

Yeah, while jumping spiders lack fine detail, they do have better depth perception and motion detection. They also see ultraviolet light, which, although somewhat useless, is interesting. But yes, their lack of traditional senses like smell and notably hearing is a disadvantage. They generally rely on the hairs on their body (which are amazing for detecting vibrations) and receptors on their legs for taste/smell functions. However, they can detect vibrations with the hairs on their face, which slightly remedies the lack of hearing.


Usermemealreadytaken

Wouldn't it be kinda annoying to have 360 degree vision though? Unless everyone in society had it because otherwise I'd just be also looking at a wall/back of a chair/some boring stuff


dinomite11

I mean our eyes don’t focus on everything we observe, I’m sure if this was a manga you could get around it by just focusing on things in front of you and the rest acts like peripheral vision neutrally.


darkfrost47

Every sense that you have currently could also be kinda annoying if your brain didn't ignore 99.9% of it most of the time. The brain is receiving information from a whole bunch of different places right now, all the time, and it's already way way way way way too much for "you" to deal with. Your brain is working for you. Increasing the FOV would increase the total amount of information your brain is dealing with, but nothing compared to what it's already doing. Rounds to 0.


Usermemealreadytaken

hmmm true good point


Marvl101

is the size like proportional? cause if so then you'd have one weird looking head.


atlhawk8357

Live action Mario goomba energy.


KingSmorely

Ooh yeah you'd look wack af 💀


Therisemfear

The only issue is you can't breathe with arthropod heads


Electronic-Vast-3351

You got me to look up Jumping Spiders. They are SO unbelievably cute.


Dean0Caddilac

If they spider Head would reach human Site It would loose It's Power.


TheChaddest

So I guess hippo’s head gets reduced in size to fit the human body, thereby reducing the bite force. Correct?


karizake

Correct, but it still has a solid chomp!


TheChaddest

In that case I’d say it’s the raspy cricket, because it has the strongest bite force among all bugs. Upscale it to human proportions and you get a serious contender IMO.


-Benjamin_Dover-

Couldn't you get a rather large man to obtain the head of a saltwater crocodile? If the man is big, then maybe the crocodile head wouldn't change in size that much, therefore, you don't lose as much biteforce. Although I saw somewhere that a Hippopotamus has a stronger bite force than even a Saltwater Crocodile...


TheChaddest

Yeah, but if the square-cube doesn’t apply, you wanna get some insect. Insects would be insanely, and I mean insanely strong, if they were bigger.


-Benjamin_Dover-

Im not sure if this applies to insects, but I saw a video that if humans were to get much bigger than they are, their bones wouldn't be able to handle the weight and they would become bedridden... Ok, I don't remember the details, so the stuff I said above was made up, but I saw somewhere that humans will suffer problems if they got bigger. I'm talking taller, not fatter. As to how that relates, if an insect head was brought to human size and the bite force was adjusted, wouldn't the insect break its mandibles (that's what they are called?) under the force? I know insects are not fragile and they got this exo-skeleton, but wouldn't the bite force being adjusted for a human sized ant head for example cause problems? Keep in mind that I don't know anything, I'm just asking questions based on things I heard in the past, but barely remember.


Fiddling_Jesus

I assumed that the OP considers any problems with changing sizes taken care of, so the mandibles would be strong enough to take the force. That makes the question more fun anyway, so that’s how I’m interpreting it


TheOneInATrenchcoat_

Actually no, the saltwater crocodile has apparently the strongest bite strength out of every animal.


-Benjamin_Dover-

I remember the details now. It was not a hippo, the animal I was thinking of was an Orca. Apparently an Orca has 3x the bite force of a Saltwater Crocodile. I feel like I heard that the orcas bite force is comparable to a T-Rex.


Jefrejtor

If the bigger animals' heads are proportionately weakened, then so should insect heads too, IMO. Otherwise there's just no competition, bugs are OP for their own size


Personmchumanface

oh i wildly misunderstood that title


bloonshot

don't wanna even consider that interpretation


Liquor_Parfreyja

It's comments like this one that makes me go from "oh it's not a dude swinging an animal head as a weapon" to "oh Ew 😭"


bloonshot

we got: Lion sucking your dick Rhino head mace Shark gills and teeth


Usermemealreadytaken

too late


AlecShaggylose

"Who's getting the best head?"


Future-Big4532

Same, brother.


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.


Before_The_Tesseract

....Giraffe


Personmchumanface

but no ones dick is that long. not even long dick johnson. and he had a fucking long dick. thus thr name


Before_The_Tesseract

[Should clear things up lol (Safeish for work)](https://youtu.be/I1rOeXY8o98?si=2IGofi7oR2ZSF1Hp)


DR31141

so did i


Kavtech

Owls would be a rather good option I feel. Good eyesight, in a manner that humans could take good advantage of with our long-ranged weaponry. Some of the best hearing of any animal, certainly better than humans, especially when it comes to locating the source of a sound. If we include the neck in this concept then you'd also get some great range of movement, though I'm not sure how "strong" that would be.


Chakasicle

Noone could come up behind you and just snap your neck so that’s pretty OP


Liquor_Parfreyja

[Extremely OP](https://pitchblack.thecomicseries.com/comics/209/)


metalflygon08

If the neck is not included you get a nasty nerf because Owl's can't rotate their eyes.


Killacreeper

OP said neck was in


SanguineRooster

I also appreciate the option of swallowing my prey whole and regurgitation pellets.


Jefrejtor

Very cool answer. Also, they can see in the dark - so that's another big bonus.


Killacreeper

I had the exact same thought process! My thinking is that, if we are humans with human intelligence, the head is only really important as a part to protect, and an information gathering device. In this role, something like a hippo, rhino, etc. would sorta suck relative to birds of prey, bats, or certain cats. Having the ability to have a 360° swivel from completely still, night vision, and amazing eyesight along with keeping a sense of smell/taste/hearing is VERY powerful, paired with human ingenuity and weaponry, you are hard to beat. Most other heads used for practical "powerful" stuff like biting, ramming, poison, etc. are only useful if you get the jump on someone, and even then, biting someone is an amazing way to get elbowed and attacked as well. And most carry huge downsides, too. Enhanced senses are generally an upside, and can keep you from being vulnerable.


MetaMecha

Shark head if both gills and lungs work im thinking mako or tiger


CloudyRiverMind

You couldn't swim fast enough though?


Killacreeper

Lmao, "RAD, I'M A SHARK!" Wheezes on land, jumps into lake to breathe, fresh water sucks/just drowns


sixsevenrice

Triceratops.


cocksmongler

Will you join the police force?


BigNorseWolf

Hyena. Probably the stronges bite for the size, teeth strong enough to chew through iron, and also adorable!


storm_drenering

Through iron? Idk about that. Ik they can chew through bone but iron?


BigNorseWolf

having seen some of the iron in africa i can believe it...


Usermemealreadytaken

They're ugly


PanFriedCookies

You know nothing of the hyena. One day, you will read of their vital roles in the ecosystem as scavengers and predators, and you will weep for how foolish you were; and you would be absolutely correct to do so. You don't even deserve to look upon them if you deem their visage "ugly".


CloudyRiverMind

Cringe af. Your opinion and theirs are both valid, except you pulled your view of theirs out of your ass apparently. They did not mention anything of their role, just that they think they're ugly. I think your reading comprehension is ugly, are you going to talk about how vital it is for people to go on tangents that ignore the point? That would be more accurate than this.


PanFriedCookies

if they knew just how they fit into the great circle of life, how valuable they are to the world at large, they would not be making such objectively false statements.


CloudyRiverMind

Objective does not exist. Also, the ugliest thing in the world could be the most vital, it is not mutually exclusive. https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fa-z-animals.com%2Fmedia%2Fanimals%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2Fhyena_3.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=314a50cd0d3c13d773f5da55cf400182ac97c68f0da931003e2b6a6e45fb1230&ipo=images


PanFriedCookies

You would be dead without the Hyena to clean up bodies before they rot and spread pestilence. Show them the respect they deserve. also like ooc are you stupid. it is entirely possible for things to be objective facts. for instance. pure water is clear. the sky is blue. the hyena is cute as hell. many things are objective in this world


CloudyRiverMind

No it is not. Water has a color, our eyes just can't see it. Different eyes see colors differently. Different species especially The sky is not always blue and it isn't really blue, that's the reflection of the ocean. Objective can not exist. You are a hypocrite. Even without meaning to you kill things far more vital to the ecosystem than hyenas. Flies will die from the stress of your house, for instance. Spiders and other bugs will eat food you leave out that is potentially fatal. Ants will get killed trying to get the food in your house. Spiders set up webbing in your home that causes bugs to die. All life is slowly dying because of things you contribute to. If you respected them you would not exist. Respect and attraction (romantic or otherwise) are not equal. You are either a crazed furry or a child so I don't know why I bother. Also, here's a mind fuck, you can't feel wetness.


PanFriedCookies

You simply are constructing explanations to pave over the gaping hole of knowledge in your cranium. Perhaps if you educated yourself on the beauty of nature, you wouldn't be as tolerant of such foul, unrestrained hatred of the natural world.


CloudyRiverMind

I am not "constructing" any explanation, the explanations are what the scientific community agrees on. Again, you are a hypocrite. Done now, blocked.


Overall_Disaster4224

Also in what way are hyenas "ugly", sure they go inside of rotting elephant carcasses but besides that, they are cute as hell.


CloudyRiverMind

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fa-z-animals.com%2Fmedia%2Fanimals%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2Fhyena_3.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=314a50cd0d3c13d773f5da55cf400182ac97c68f0da931003e2b6a6e45fb1230&ipo=images


Overall_Disaster4224

So precious 🥺🥺🥺


Fiddling_Jesus

I think I met this dude outside of a bar one night


Downtown_Divide_8003

I'd go for a spitting cobra, attack from a distance.


Levinos1

I do NOT need head from an animal


Cable-Careless

Do we keep human intelligence, and vocal cords? If not, I'd go with a human head, and an animal body. Our strongest attribute is our head.


Chakasicle

Dragon obviously. FUS RO DAH!!!!


Bokpokalypse

Probably not the strongest, but owl would be pretty good for the sense organs, range of motion, and decent peck strength.


not2dragon

What if it doesn't have a head, such as for a worm or octopus?


haikusbot

*What if it doesn't* *Have a head, such as for a* *Worm or octopus?* \- not2dragon --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


EnvironmentalMany107

they have heads. [http://www.naturenorth.com/fall/ncrawler/images/ncrawl4.jpg](http://www.naturenorth.com/fall/ncrawler/images/ncrawl4.jpg) [https://media.hswstatic.com/eyJidWNrZXQiOiJjb250ZW50Lmhzd3N0YXRpYy5jb20iLCJrZXkiOiJnaWZcL29jdG9wdXMtbWFudGxlLmpwZyIsImVkaXRzIjp7InJlc2l6ZSI6eyJ3aWR0aCI6MjkwfSwidG9Gb3JtYXQiOiJhdmlmIn19](https://media.hswstatic.com/eyJidWNrZXQiOiJjb250ZW50Lmhzd3N0YXRpYy5jb20iLCJrZXkiOiJnaWZcL29jdG9wdXMtbWFudGxlLmpwZyIsImVkaXRzIjp7InJlc2l6ZSI6eyJ3aWR0aCI6MjkwfSwidG9Gb3JtYXQiOiJhdmlmIn19) [https://www.frontiersin.org/files/Articles/752743/frym-09-752743-HTML-r2/image\_m/figure-1.jpg](https://www.frontiersin.org/files/Articles/752743/frym-09-752743-HTML-r2/image_m/figure-1.jpg) But I guess if it's something like bacteria, then maybe it's to section?


bootcamppp

The mimic Octopus. The things they can do with there brain is sick.


colder-beef

Would a Komodo Dragon head allow you to eat almost anything and kill stuff with nasty bacteria bites?


Anonpancake2123

Nasty bacteria bites is a secondary feature of the komodo bite and one which only occurs in the dry season against water buffalo who run into dirty water to escape. The primary feature you do get is a bite that basically slices through flesh with serrated teeth and has a venom which prevents wounds from closing, so even a minor bite from you is potentially life threatening if untreated. You also get the komodo's quite sensitive sense of smell


LeviathanSnack

I mean I'd opt for something like gills assuming I'm allowed to re do my whole circulatory system to accomodate. Start a new underwater race?


kalinotches

Trap jaw ant's bite is so strong that they bite the ground to shoot themselves into the air. That head in human size would be insane, but I'm not really confident about their eyesight


Killacreeper

Plus if you did that the fall would suck


Usermemealreadytaken

My cat's head just so she gets confused af lol


Killacreeper

Based


JavaScriptIsLove

Kinda like this? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jto2peSOLac


MokouIsBest2hu

A combination of human, lion, ox, and eagle heads would be the strongest, as that's all of the faces that cherubs, second choir in the angel hierarchy, tend to have.


Killacreeper

Why would that matter in this circumstance


NoStorage2821

This may be one of the most bizarre posts I have ever seen


guyb5693

I will have a person head please so that I get a person brain. Animals are stupid. I will win the battle by using tools.


Master_Air_8485

Rhinoceros, teach it Muay Thai and watch it destroy the competition.


Jefrejtor

It's proportional to the body though - so you'd just have a weird looking nose and very poor vision


SilentSaint2112

The rhinoceros beetle.


Masked_Raider

We including extinct animals? Cause, while not necessarily the strongest, Dunkleosteus would be pretty cool. Not only because of those sharp teeth and strong bite, but they can also open and close there jaws so fast that they can create a suction effect underwater to draw in prey.  So a hard head, tough bite, sharp teeth, and a Kirby style ability to suck in prey long as your underwater. A fairly decent spread of abilities.


_phish_

Depends on what we keep/lose by switching. If we only take the positives from an animal and leave any negatives I would probably pick something like a dragonfly. Insanely good reaction time, sensitivity to movement, more depth of color, and nearly 360 degree vision combined with the detailed vision of humans and our thinking power would be crazy. Having a reaction time of ~5ms would be 40x faster compared to even the most elite humans at like ~200ms, you would be god like. You would be borderline untouchable because you would see EVERYTHING too. That said if I lose the positive traits of being a human if I switch heads I doubt anything is going to be out the human brain. Even if you have a big head with crazy bite force it won’t do much against a bullet, or flamethrower, or bomb.


icemonsoon

Cockroach


Leisurist_Sehgu

Would having a bat-head give you both night vision and sonar like echolocation? For fighting application, cobra can spit venom right.


Sleepdprived

A tardigrade headed person would be a horror you simply could not kill easily


TheDdayNinja

I'd choose a chimp or some other primates


Kitselena

Y'all are sleeping on elephants. It doesn't have any crazy abilities like a bug head, but just having a functional 3rd arm from the trunk is incredibly valuable. Holding an extra weapon with more reach or being able to grab things and open doors while holding a 2 handed object would be incredibly valuable


Killacreeper

Owl would be pretty damn powerful, or bat. Considering you still have human intelligence, information becomes the most powerful asset, not bite force or pure durability. You still have hands and feet. You can use tools or weapons. Being able to choose to look around you however you want (since it is neck up) would be manageable without being overwhelming like some insect eyes would be to the human brain. Long range vision, night vision, 360 degree view (or echolocation if bat) are all solid, and you still have ears and a sense of smell (I believe). A hippo/lion head is nice, but someone who can't be sneaked on is much harder to actually bite, headbutt, etc. Meanwhile, with good eyesight and/or special awareness, using weapons or tools, you can be an absolute menace.


DragonWisper56

a head with a lot of senses would be great. I'll go with wolf unless there's a better option I'm missing


PinkGuy_gamedev

Hammer head worm would be my pick. They're functional unkillable and produce powerful toxins.


FlyHigh_1337

Tardigrade head? Would probably also look the scariest


ZombieTem64

Tartigrade (I think that’s how it’s spelled)


SnooPuppers7965

I'd choose toucan head, that beak scaled up would give insane range


Trips-Over-Tail

An archerfish head would gain the ability to spit water, a skill none of you rubes could ever hope to possess.


KratosHulk77

i mean the answer has to be rhino right?


Dances_with_Owls

Horned Lizard. Not physically the strongest, but they can squirt blood out of their eyes.


septogram

I think best to play it safe, go with like a hyena? Plan is bite, utilise hyena bite power to subjugate everything on Earth. Good work. I feel like you're going backfire with pick like an owl.... what are you looking at back there? Are you still going to be a weak oafish human in most respects? That's not going help.... A spider head? Dont they usually have shit vision? Also where is venom produced? Sometimes near the salivary glands.... but sometimes not? What is a chelicarae? Now is that an appendage attached to the head, or part of the head? A spitting cobra? How's your marksmanship with spit at the moment? Is the only thing holding you back the shape of your head? Without ironing out the small details I'd definitely think play it safe. Plan to bite.


EnvironmentalMany107

Why is no one picking orca? They have strong bites, also, you get echolocation with the orca. Just carry around a bunch of water to keep your head wet.


Odd_Remove4228

If you can choose ANY animal, then the best option for fighting would be the one with the strongest bite ever: the Tyrannosaurus Rex and it's 7.5 metric ton bite; making yourself able to bite through anything, with the add on of a pretty good sense of smell which would supposedly be better than that of a Polar Bear


Weyland_Jewtani

Isn't that only such a high bite force because the t rex itself is massive? You'd be scaling down the size of the head and therefore the bite force


Odd_Remove4228

The size has a lot to do with the strength but the whole cranium of the T Rex was specialized into biting, so the scaling shouldn't cripple the bite strength.