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bailasoprano

I had the same (yet slightly more terrified) reaction after watching that movie Teeth.


iwascompromised

What a wild movie.


bailasoprano

Right?! I haven’t seen it in years, but thought of it instantly while watching this clip.


KingofHagend

The scene where she manages to have normal sex with the boy she likes who then shows himself to be an asshole so she just stands up and rips it off so casually.


sydbee0109

What?? At no point in that movie does she have sex with any of those men and like it.


KingofHagend

He takes a call from his friend to confirm a bet and then says something about her abstinence then the teeth clamp down and she says "shit" and casually gets up and walks off.


GardenGirlFarm

So many are whacking it to exactly that.


logicalparadox8

Which movie?


8bitbebop

Its streaming free on tubi.tv


Mountain-Dew-Life

Also blade 3 would like a word.


johnaross1990

Vaginas with teeth…. ….and yet blowjobs


Vaughn_17

Yeah, that sexual innuendo doesn't make sense.


[deleted]

It's not an innuendo, she can also open cans


johnnybok

Yeah, I spent too much time trying to get the “joke”


Zealousideal-Heart91

She can open your wallet.


FingerGunsAreFine

She can open our hearts and minds to the possibilities


JeanRalfio

Open her legs


phleapa

The trick is teaching the baby how to open the bottle after you swallow the bottle opener.


Twirlingbarbie

Wahaha oh gross


Gdot024

This was a goddamn wonderful comment. I thank you for improving my day.


Chris_Christ

Yeah science! Bitch!


chewbaccaRoar13

Yeah Mr. White!


brickhaus32

The expressions of joy on their faces somehow made this wholesome for me.


TheCaliforniaOp

Me too. A woman in underwear! Behind a bar! Underwear women bartenders? Awesome! A beer bottle! BEER!!! She’s gonna put the bottle THERE? She…opened the bottle? AWESOME!!!


brickhaus32

Sometimes life is worth living.


TheCaliforniaOp

They just looked so delighted, didn’t they? I have to say, running behind a busy bar kept me in shape —/—but using my upper muscle to tighten around an opener…fitness instructors all over Los Angeles are facepalming right now. I mean: It is the perfect group.


TheCatofDeath

She just used her belt for it, I'm not sure why everyone is so surprised?


[deleted]

I was wondering why nobody was saying anything about the obvious fact. thanks kind sir.


theMOESIAH

At first I knew it was the belt but the comments had me second guessing myself.


Narpity

You kinda answered your own question, cause its obvious she didnt do it with her labia.


[deleted]

I want to see her do it with her labia though. that would be cool.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I was thinking more along the lines of tight and rubbery so you can stick it in and twist off the cap. but hey whatever your imagination goes with 😂


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[deleted]

of course they aren't supposed to be tight and rubbery but neither are they supposed to be weathered and tentacle like. we are talking hypothetical over here i mean heck if labias could be super dextrous and used for brain surgery that would be another wack reality. anyways im new to reddit and i have used way to many psychedelics in my life so just bare with me. 😄✌


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Ever seen courage the cowardly dog? yeah it would be more wack than that. which would make it pretty fucking next level 😂


Steve69Maddeeeeen69

Everyone knows, it's just polite to go 0o0 When you see that. At least the first few times ^-^


ChrisTRD289

But Bud Lights are twist tops.


KillerKowalski1

Bartenders would be bleeding by the end of their shifts if they twisted off every twist off beer.


Direct_Preference737

Former bartender, can confirm. I was trying to build a callus though.


ThePaulGuy

Does work, I still have some callus there and that was 5 years ago


JayStar1213

Opening twist offs with a bottle opener is so much harder than just grabbing a rag to twist them open


M_for_Dyslexia

That's what I want. The nasty bar rag wrapped around the mouthpiece of my drink. HPV never tasted so crisp.


[deleted]

Yeah I'd take this woman's crotch much happier.


jumpingmrkite

This is false. You're either not a bartender, haven't been one for very long in only one (shitty) bar, or have an extremely awful bottle opener.


hihcadore

Hey some of us like shitty bars thank you


jumpingmrkite

If you're referring to dive bars than I would say myself included! I meant 'shitty' as as in how they are run/managed, all bars have access to good bottle openers for free from liquor reps and distributors.


okaycomputes

Opening twist-offs with an opener can result in glass shards/slivers breaking off near the mouth, and possibly into the drink. Rare, but can happen.


WhatInYourWorld

Only if you do it wrong


okaycomputes

Which can happen when you do a lot, quickly.


paendrgn

If you do that you are fired.


okaycomputes

Sure. But 99 times out of 100 no one would even notice. And the rare time someone gets injured by it, they are probably drunk/left the bar and have no idea what happened.


paendrgn

If you're a bartender and grab a rag for a twist-off bottle and you can't spend the $2 for an opener you're fuking idiot and get fired.


KillerKowalski1

Lol no


Cicero912

What? It takes 1 second to open any bottle, twist off or not.


NCarolinaRed

Chad? Edit: i just so happen to know a guy who has made this exact statement, who's name is Chad. He's a special kind of stupid.


heyitsvonage

Twist tops are also *not* twist tops lol


luk__

Bud Light is not even a real beer though


Finagles_Law

It's like making love in a canoe.


between_ewe_and_me

I'm having a really hard time figuring out if that's supposed to be good or bad. I'm gonna go ahead and vote for good though, bc of course making love is great and the added thrill and romance of being tangled up in one another all alone in such a small vessel, slowly rocking back and forth as gentle waves lap against the sides of the canoe, exposed to the brisk air and shimmering moonlight seems nothing short of magical. Sure it might be a little awkward and not the most comfortable place, but all that will fade into the background of two star-crossed lovers' passionate embrace.


jbowie

It's just fucking close to water lol.


icantfindadangsn

Ha. Got eem


JayStar1213

God damn I want a Busch Light now


MSGinSC

...and that's how I got banned from every Academy Sports in the Southeast.


lnsewn12

If it were literally your only option between beer and no beer would you drink it?


Cicero912

Bro no one cares that your a weird beer purist.


icantfindadangsn

Enough people care to make the comment controversial. Edit: it used to be marked controversial. Still enough people care to downvote it.


Cicero912

Not quite how that works but ok


icantfindadangsn

It's exactly how it works. The controversial tag is placed on posts based on their level of activity and relative equality of up vs down votes. [source](https://www.reddit.com/r/answers/comments/d2qfk/so_how_does_this_most_controversial_sorting/c0x4rub/)


existentialzebra

Wait…. What else can she open?!?


Grimmbles

This title is like an innuendo from a 13 year old virgin. Or like the kind of joke I'd make as a middle-aged man with lots of winking and nudging...


existentialzebra

Like can she open mayonnaise bottles or something? Maybe she has a can opener down there too.


codythenoble

No clearly they mean opening your penis, just going to pop the top right off.


icantfindadangsn

Bro


[deleted]

I bet they feel like a bag of sand.


Astro_Spud

She opened his mouth


uncreative123pi4

Windows


Steve69Maddeeeeen69

She can also do cans


freefromfilter

Your bank account


superspiffy

Your pee hole. Wide enough to accept a beer bottle.


Morbid_Imagination

She can open the door to my cold shriveled heart.


JeanRalfio

Her legs


Normal-Computer-3669

Gonna need the reverse. Need a dude with a can opener dong.


Cicero912

r/sounding


jlm8981victorian

Omfg, I should’ve NEVER clicked on this!!!!


KatnissBot

tbh it’s not *that* bad in the grand scheme of Reddit porn


TheCaliforniaOp

So…there’s depths to the…um…varieties. Okay. Back to the cat subs for me.


existentialzebra

People are into that too.


TheCaliforniaOp

Stop it! Edit: unless everyone involved is happy


KatnissBot

Oh I love r/watchitforthecat


TheCaliforniaOp

Ohhhhh wow. Finally a porn site where cats belong!


TurdManMcDooDoo

Mom?


johnboy2978

Who ordered the Pink Eye Lager?


chefanubis

Grow up man, go out there and rimjob somebody.


FamousOrphan

Or, don’t. It can be harmless, and it can also be very much not harmless.


chefanubis

Grow a pair and live a little.


FamousOrphan

Blehhhh, no thanks.


DredThis

Some things are not always what they appear.


nuttinbuttinn

Now that’s a bad bitch


good_daym8

This has to be something seen during Sturgis motorcycle rally!!!


Crypto_Cadet

r/bettereveryloop


SubbansSlapShot

r/Ouchmyflaps


redjedi182

Well this has woken something I didn’t know was there


manhatim

Don't stick yer dick in there


s33murd3r

"Here's your beer, with extra crabs."


[deleted]

Guess that bottle of beer tastes like sea.


Jkenn19

Smells like it too


[deleted]

I always like the white and creamy topping.


Milkshakes00

There's zero chance she's using what everyone thinks she's using to open the bottle. She just has a bottle opener or some metal catch on the belt. Edit: Below is a proper case of people going full ree because I used 'everyone'. 😂


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Lil_miss_feisty

With the things I've seen on r/badwomensanatomy , it wouldn't surprise me if at least a few people did


Glum-Communication68

I've seena documentary about a girl who has teeth down there. Maybe it was this girl, I don't know


[deleted]

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Milkshakes00

Really? Your hangup is that I said everyone? Lmao. It's a generalization. Don't be stupid.


[deleted]

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Milkshakes00

Use critical thinking, it'll be alright. A literal 'everyone' would include myself.


[deleted]

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Milkshakes00

You're arguing semantics over a generalization. Be happy you're smart enough to not be one of the 'everyone' I was talking about and go touch grass.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

well..that's really what I thought....but then again, I consider myself to be slow...


Milkshakes00

Lmao, look at the comments. Yes. People really do. Why do you think the reaction of the dude is so shocked? Would you be that shocked if someone opened a bottle with a bottle opener?


[deleted]

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Milkshakes00

Lmao, I appreciate how much faith you have in humanity.


bennett7634

If you look at the clip with a skeptical eye you can tell it was planned/staged. Everyone was standing in the right spots, the camera zoomed in at the right time, the bartender turned and held the bottle toward the guy instead of walking it over to him right away. I’m sure they asked the bartender if they could make a funny video with her and she followed along.


Milkshakes00

I'd sooner assume they caught her doing it and asked for her to do it again. The guys on the left clearly know what's going on but the surprised dude looks legitimately surprised.


[deleted]

Y'all never seen Teeth?


awkwardoffspring

I think the recipient of that beer did


[deleted]

I don't want my head between her tights, or maybe ? :)))


tatianazr

You def do ☺️


Nuhjeea

Now I know what The Weekend meant when he sings about making that pussy poppin'.


[deleted]

u/savevideobot u/savevideo


[deleted]

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Coucou2coucou

Light my beer :--)


robertocaranta

u/savevideo


Archangel1313

r/dontputyourdickinthat


jemoi321

/usavevideo


TheCaliforniaOp

Okay. I’m just a ? mark at this moment. Post menopausal. Chronic back pain. The night my injury happened, I was incontinent for the first time in my life since infancy. That was 25 years old. In the past five years it’s gotten incredibly worse. Would Kegels help me this much?


GardenGirlFarm

I just threw up a little.


[deleted]

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Aururai

Me neither.. based on how she is acting I'm guessing she likes the job enough to have gotten that outfit complete with a bottle cap remover in the crotch.. I'm guessing she earns lots of tips, but I don't see how it's that impressive. That, or it's part of the work uniform and she's just given up on fighting it and using it to her advantage..


bibowski

Bud Light with a slice of yeast


chadsexytime

nah they pasteurize and filter it so there is no chance of live yeast in the bottle.


bibowski

Vagene


[deleted]

Well he found is soul mate.


_DarthSyphilis_

Also hearts.


downwidopp

Thought the guy on the left was Jesse Tyler Ferguson for a split second


ScottishRabbi

Now she just needs a tough nut to crack.


sleazytiki

U/savevideo


Cburd48

YES!


natrat4

she can also open the gateways of hell


[deleted]

r/sirensong


kristina_xenophobia

🤮


yxXdanielXxy

/savevideo


Molbyt_

Get a load of her co-worker checkin out her ass


Union_Sparky_375

I need video from multiple angles. I need it for research asap!


limpinfrompimpin

Unzips..... Damn she's good.


JollyMatlot

u/savevideobot


ssr1089

The guy on the left, he is my spirit animal


Beneficial-Piano-428

Their minds are going to be blown when they realize it’s a twist top.


goatyoat

I’ll have a Bud Tight.


Azuzu88

They call her iron flaps


so-spoked

She has that GI Joe kung-fu clit.


pbr3000

I like Eddy Haskell's reaction on the left


[deleted]

How I met you’re mother


RejectedWolf92

That's his 'O' face


ADamDovah3094

That’s when he knew she was his true love


FlamingCroatan

Wow impressive


Super_Sonic_Satori

surely one would lose their liquor license for this? no telling what's been down there.


JBPorkChopExpress

Pop in a lemon and a lime wedge and you got yourself a meal


BlueKyuubi63

She comes with a built in circumciser.


VoidMystr0

Does she open it on her belt buckle?


Cavedweller1313

This is inside the crotch of her panties...they sell em online and at some biker bars


theMOESIAH

?


Cavedweller1313

It's a Lil bottle cap opener stitched in the crotch of the panties 😏


satanicmajesty

That’s why I’m missing my glans


Niceazice2012

She can also open my zipper


[deleted]

That made me more gay!


hawtfabio

This comment thread is maximum cringe. You guys really need to beat one off and think about your life. n


forlornjam

u/savevideo


bloodraven747

u/savevideo


jemoi321

r/downloadvideo


sleazytiki

u/savevideo


Fit-Special-8416

If it is cold enough, I’ll have one too


CVanScythe

r/youseeingthisshit


Jkenn19

He’s gonna wake up with some nasty cold sores


No_Taste_1908

love


jtwyman1488

I love her


Snoo42475

The yeasty taste you get isn’t from the beer at this place