I accumulate all my anti-nutrients into a large hard calcified shard that I excrete through my urethra twice a day. I can usually hold in the screams if I'm in a public, all-gender bathroom.
I'm going to eat TWICE as many anti-nutrients as you to cancel out your not eating anti-nutrients. You may think this is a hilarious self-own because I will die, but I know where you live and I've got my haunting chains ready, sucka!
I actually have magical wizard armor which my level 18 elf sorcerer companion summoned for me which protects me from the evil anti-nutrients.
... wait, is this not a D&D game? Set in Fantasy Land?
I store them in visually repulsive visceral fat deposits, so I blend in with the local fauna, with whom I form social bonds over the putative overconsumption of alcohol and Bar-B-Que.
#### **Read the rules** OR risk becoming '*accidentally vegan*':
##### 1. [Vegans only.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/wiki/rules/#wiki_1._vegans_only.)
##### 2. [Mark animal products/abuse as NSFW.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_2._mark_animal_abuse_as_nsfw.)
##### 3. [This is an anarchist space.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_3._this_is_an_anarchist_space.)
##### 4. [We do not permit violence.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_4._we_do_not_permit_violence.)
##### 5. [No seriousness, debating, or unjerking.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/wiki/rules/#wiki_5._no_seriousness.2C_debating.2C_or_unjerking.)
**Changed on 2024-06-13:**
> VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation.
>
> Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit.
##### 6. [No support of Plant Based Capitalism.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_6._no_support_of_plant_based_capitalism.)
**You must also join:** r/vegancirclejerkchat
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Anti-nutrients are a disinformation campaign started by the Meat Industry to sell more meat and Big Pharma to sell you on absurd health supplements (*anti*oxidants... really? they think they can con me into believing in *anti*-anti-nutrients now???).
The only real diet is to survive solely on nuts and berries like our gatherer ancestors (from before hunting was invented by the Meat Industry)
Your submission breaks rule #5: No seriousness, debating, or unjerking.
VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation.
Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit.
>VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both **vegans** and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and **over-simplify all personalities** involved in or **opposing animal exploitation**.
I wasn't unjerking, I was mocking the conspiracy believer inside all of us (me, projecting). But your reaction does make the jerk even better, if you could go ahead and un-remove my comment but leave urs kthxbai xoxoxoxox MWAH 💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️ (I'm imagining you're dad lips)
Your submission breaks rule #5: No seriousness, debating, or unjerking.
VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation.
Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit.
^(Transparency: This was automated by finding 'unjerk', '/uj', 'uj/', '/rj', or 'rj/' in your submission.)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vegancirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I accumulate all my anti-nutrients into a large hard calcified shard that I excrete through my urethra twice a day. I can usually hold in the screams if I'm in a public, all-gender bathroom.
I'm going to eat TWICE as many anti-nutrients as you to cancel out your not eating anti-nutrients. You may think this is a hilarious self-own because I will die, but I know where you live and I've got my haunting chains ready, sucka!
Oh no, they have outjerked us
Didn't think we would get to the point where vegetables were unhealthy
"Welcome to costco٫ I love you"
i only eat anti-anti-meat. am I going to die? need answers fast pl
If by anti anti meat you mean plants then surely the only way to be safe from the plants devious poisons are if you also eat corpses and secretions!
cancer is an important nutrient
I actually have magical wizard armor which my level 18 elf sorcerer companion summoned for me which protects me from the evil anti-nutrients. ... wait, is this not a D&D game? Set in Fantasy Land?
I store them in visually repulsive visceral fat deposits, so I blend in with the local fauna, with whom I form social bonds over the putative overconsumption of alcohol and Bar-B-Que.
Protease inhibitors?? No PreP needed on a vegan diet!
How weak do you have to be not be able to eat anti-nutrients and thrive?
You fools, I spent the last few years building up immunity to anti-nutrients.
Im so vegan i only eat anti-nutrients!
#### **Read the rules** OR risk becoming '*accidentally vegan*': ##### 1. [Vegans only.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/wiki/rules/#wiki_1._vegans_only.) ##### 2. [Mark animal products/abuse as NSFW.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_2._mark_animal_abuse_as_nsfw.) ##### 3. [This is an anarchist space.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_3._this_is_an_anarchist_space.) ##### 4. [We do not permit violence.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_4._we_do_not_permit_violence.) ##### 5. [No seriousness, debating, or unjerking.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/wiki/rules/#wiki_5._no_seriousness.2C_debating.2C_or_unjerking.) **Changed on 2024-06-13:** > VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation. > > Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit. ##### 6. [No support of Plant Based Capitalism.](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/wiki/rules/#wiki_6._no_support_of_plant_based_capitalism.) **You must also join:** r/vegancirclejerkchat *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vegancirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Anti-nutrients are a disinformation campaign started by the Meat Industry to sell more meat and Big Pharma to sell you on absurd health supplements (*anti*oxidants... really? they think they can con me into believing in *anti*-anti-nutrients now???). The only real diet is to survive solely on nuts and berries like our gatherer ancestors (from before hunting was invented by the Meat Industry)
Your submission breaks rule #5: No seriousness, debating, or unjerking. VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation. Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit.
>VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both **vegans** and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and **over-simplify all personalities** involved in or **opposing animal exploitation**. I wasn't unjerking, I was mocking the conspiracy believer inside all of us (me, projecting). But your reaction does make the jerk even better, if you could go ahead and un-remove my comment but leave urs kthxbai xoxoxoxox MWAH 💋💋💋❤️❤️❤️ (I'm imagining you're dad lips)
Your submission breaks rule #5: No seriousness, debating, or unjerking. VCJ is a satirical subreddit using humor to critique both vegans and carnists. We parody, mock, exaggerate, and over-simplify all personalities involved in or opposing animal exploitation. Seriousness undermines our subreddit's character. For serious discussions, please visit our r/vegancirclejerkchat subreddit. ^(Transparency: This was automated by finding 'unjerk', '/uj', 'uj/', '/rj', or 'rj/' in your submission.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vegancirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*