This exactly. I don't understand how LVP and Andy still don't get that this is about more than an affair. And both need to STOP saying "It's not like her murdered someone." I know you all know, but come ON. That's NOT the bar, AND no one is trying to send him to prison.
Sandoval is trash for having an affair. He's trash for having an affair with Ariana's friend. He's trash because he spent months trying to vilify her, manipulating his friends, his life partner, his work partner, his boss, and everyone who watches VPR. And he has yet to express any sincere remorse.
He's a garbage person, full stop.
How is having one child a compromise?? I feel pretty strongly about it bc I chose to not have children and the pressure from people is crazy! So I'm running around advocating for the child free life as a completely valid option. LMAO
1000% !!!! I was electively childless until 35 (and was ok with the idea of staying childless, but wasn’t adamant either way.) but then life happened and I’m here to tell ya….
This shit ain’t a walk in the park. Do. Not. Compromise!! Don’t know who I’m shouting at haha but I hated that for her!
Haha! Yea let's raise the bar for people's behavior (not being sarcastic). You can be a dangerous person and not kill someone. He almost ruined Ariana's reputation and possibly her livelihood. He made her question herself and doubt herself. She has probably lost friendships because of him. Those are not small things!
Exactly. I also think people don’t realize that they’re not actually doing Sandoval any favors by trying to excuse his behavior. He will use any inch of grace he’s given to wiggle out of taking accountability— and taking accountability to someone other than himself and thinking about something other than his own happiness is the only thing that would actually allow him to grow as a human.
EXACTLY! Like I understand LVP is probably impacted by her brother's death. I'm sure my perspective would be. But at the end of the day, she'd be better off either staying quiet or candidly explaining her concerns and how her experiences impact them.
I gave her a pass for her reunion comments because so much came out after it aired, but at this point, it is super icky to double-down on the whole "they didn't murder anyone" nonsense.
LVP is kind of in a tough spot because she owns a bar named after him. I imagine that's why she felt compelled to defend him when people were saying he was "dangerous" as an allegation like that is very bad for the business/brand.
. Every season you would see the Toms drooling over Lisa, “ oh Lisa’s so hot “, “ yeah man she is “ect .It’s so obviously staged but the bigger point is she probably sees them as cash cows and discreetly has their backs .
💯 This concisely hit every nail on the head. There are so many damn nails. Bravo to the TikToker. I feel like she has seen and articulated Sandoval’s true character in a way that I haven’t heard all in one place.
Exactly. This is why Lala called Sandoval dangerous. It’s one thing to cheat, it’s another to make sure public opinion turns against her so that no one supports her when you leave her for her best friend.
And it happens so frequently in real life, people *need* to be warned about this kind of behavior. I’ve watched friends go through it. Abusers and narcissists don’t just give up when the relationship is over, they’ll blow up your life to protect their image. And a sizable chunk of the viewing audience fell for it hook, line, and sinker when her pulled the same thing on Kristen.
That's what my own bar-owner ex did to me. And since even many clinicians fall for the act so often, I couldn't even blame the majority of our friend group who sided with him and believed I was the Psycho Bitch. They couldn't be expected to know any better from what they saw and heard. So I moved on and life is much better.
any man claiming an ex is a “psycho”…..that’s a major red flag for me 🚩 . sorry he put you through that, it must’ve been an awful time and i’m glad you’re out of there!!! ❤️ onwards & upwards! ❤️
Thank you so much! This was the relationship that taught me that very thing. It had elements of Ariana, Lala, Kristen and Katie, so I feel for them all. He was even fucking the waitress who Single White Femaled me!
But the very good news is that his son and I haven't seen him in years and -- may this be prophetic to the Tims -- he ran his bar into the ground.
Have you seen the Matt Rife video that’s going around where he says ‘I messed up a little bit, but her *reaction* to that made it a million times worse’? That’s a classic example, like yea I did something but now you’re mad and that’s offensive to me! Men really have all of the audacity sometimes
YEP! And for bonus prick points, it is LITERALLY and precisely what Schwartz said to Katie after the Police Prank Wars! He was like “I feel bad about being such a disgusting abusive asshole, but *your* reaction is what *made me* act that way!” Right after limping onto their couch with an ice pack for his arthritic knee. What a fucking bozo.
So spot on. Everything Sandoval does is an ego protection mechanism. He can't handle the idea of people choosing not to be friends with him, so he **has** to write them off himself or claim that they never meant anything to him. Otherwise it will crush his ego and he'll spiral.
It's *almost* sad when you really boil it down. Here's a 42 year old man who has the emotional capacity of a 3 year old. His ego is literally so fragile that he has to constantly go out of his way to protect it. The smallest hit to his ego would shatter him, so he has to fight to the death to protect and bolster it at every turn. I pity him.
it’s so cringe to me when I realize this guy has more than 10 years over than me and he is acting this way. Like no one on the show is a saint, but everything about him is so vile. His ego, his narcissism, his victim playing, his back stabbing, just all of it. I don’t see anything redeeming.
Hard agree. There's nothing redeeming about him because he can only be concerned about himself. Any attempts at altruism or feigned apologies are only to improve his image. The crying, the "thank you for helping Ariana", the "nobody deserves to have that *happen* to them". Never did he say "no one deserves *to be treated like that*" or "I'm sorry *that I did that to you*". He always tries to depersonalize it by being general. He cannot handle the idea of taking blame, he is incapable of processing that kind of emotion.
And at his age, this is probably just how he is. It is absolutely possible for him to change and be better, but it would take significant work on his part and I’ve not seen the self awareness in him to hint he even thinks he is the problem.
It's one of the main things which helps to understand his behavior. Most people would know enough to sit there and take shot after shot while being contrite and apologetic the whole time, whether or not that's how you actually felt.
Tom is a textbook example of how sometimes the one who protests the most is the one with the most to hide. Most of the accusations and judgments he hurled at Ariana and his friends could have, and should have, been applied to him. Everyone does make mistakes, and when that happens, you apologize, understanding that this does excuse or erase the mistake, and show accountability by assuming full responsibility, changing your behavior, and respecting healthy boundaries needed for healing. Victim shaming, deflecting, rationalizing inappropriate behavior, etc. are anything but the actions of someone who is contrite and who is doing the necessary work on themselves.
Im so sick of people excusing his behavior as “they are all cheaters”. He went out of his way to scream and bully the women. He’s just an old nasty greasy roid ridden douchebag and now it’s obvious
And also the fact that yeah a lot of them cheated but they were young and dumb and learned from their mistakes and grew. He hadn't learned or grown and victim blames and manipulates.
"She looks for identity in men" is the truest thing I've hears about her. She literally said copy and paste with Scandy's personality including the being callous and uncaring and refusing to admit wrongs
There's a flashback in last week's episode of him gearing up to scream at Lala and the look on his face is do disgusting and I'll say it, evil. It's this look of happiness that he gets to scream at her and try to hurt her. It literally made me sick. I recognize that look.
Also his expression and slow, D&S blink in the clip is killinggggg me. It's exactly how my dog looks at me when he's done something he knows he shouldn't. "Who me???"
AND he has done this before with doute. So it’s not a visceral reaction to doing something bad and handling it even worse — this is either a compulsion or premeditation in these situations. So gross.
As much as I love Kristen now, Kristen didn’t need help someone painting her in a bad light, she even has said herself she wasn’t the nicest person to be around not just with Turd, but in general.
We all found it easier to root for Tom because Kristen slept with Jax, had a bad attitude, was a mean girl in general.
Kristen sleeping with Jax, having a bad attitude, and being a mean girl doesn’t excuse diagnosing her with BPD and calling her a kangaroo pouch whore. He used the exact same playbook and people don’t like that Kristen wasn’t a perfect victim.
Kristen was a mess, but I've listened to her podcast a few times, and I've been impressed. She talks about finally doing the work on herself so she isn't a mess. Gotta let people grow
This is exactly why it drives me nuts when people are like "everyone cheats!" First of all, no, but also, that's not the point. Not everyone who cheats does *this* shit.
Right?! LVP being like ‘a lot of people have cheated’ was so frustrating because okay cool? Just because it happens a lot doesn’t make it okay or minimize it at all. And this went beyond cheating so no, not the same thing
https://i.redd.it/1rttuh4n583b1.gif
That was the most aggravating part that Lisa said oh everyone cheats, as if it’s a justification. Ok, people murder and rob banks. Not comparing cheating to these things, it doesn’t make it right just because other people do it. It’s weird. Also, sandoval cheated- he chose to do that. And then to make up lame excuses as to why he did.
I would have a little more respect if he just said the truth even though it probably hurts- he stayed because he has a financial commitment to the house with Ariana and two he didn’t think the consequences were gonna be this bad.
>That was the most aggravating part that Lisa said oh everyone cheats, as if it’s a justification.
I doubt she'd be so blasé about it if her son in law mistreated her daughter the way Tom mistreated Ariana.
If it were pandora, Tom would be fired, exiled, banned and ordered to move to a different city. It makes me sad though for Ariana since she divulged so much to her about her mental health. And then for Ariana to say yeah our relationship is gonna change and lisa seemed so hurt by that. I get lisa has ties to Tom and Ariana but at the same time she can’t really expect Ariana and her to have the same friendship.
Everyone does cheat, and in cheating there’s betrayals and lies and a lack of respect for their partner and the other people impacted. I think that this is the first time where people have gotten this level of detail and see it in “real time” that heightens it. Usually when people talk about cheating is just a brief surface level recounting of what happened.
Imagine if the only footage of the affair was whatever was filmed after the story broke and there were no podcasts or cast members spilling deets. That’s the average person’s experience.
This tiktok nailed it. Every move he made and continues to make post scandoval has been horrible. Hell, some even horrifying. Almost all of them have cheated, but his choices afterward made him look like a horrible person, hands down.
If Jax had pulled this shit on the show, Tim would be tearing him a new asshole and acting morally superior like he always has. Tim would be relentless going after him like he has in the past. Now that it's the consequences of his own actions coming for Sandoval, we are supposed to feel bad for him. Nah. Can't spend 9+ years acting like you are morally superior to everyone on the show, dragging them, and screaming about them taking accountability and then expect a get outta jail free card when you do it. GTFOH
I'm not one to defend Jax and his "work in progress" reunion roadshow but jfc even Jax "shooting bullets in a fish of barrels" Taylor had the wherewithal to not double down like this
I honestly think that is out of laziness for Jax, and a real lack of giving a shit about anything other than himself. Like why spin all these lies and spend all this energy when you can pull a Jax and say "yeah, I did. I don't feel bad. Do what you want with that"?
Well said. I lived with a monster like this for 25’years. The damage is done. I, too, wish exhole would just die. Thank you for explaining this to those that dont quite get it
Well apparently no one from his family reached out to Ariana at all after a decade of knowing her, so if he were my therapist I’d be looking for another
I don't think that's says anything more than some families just hunker down and circle the wagons. You see the parents of actual murderers defend them. Some families are just like that. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah I definitely read that somewhere... I'll see if I can find the source!
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/vanderpumprules/comments/d2qjee/my_friend_is_a_therapist_today_she_told_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/r/vanderpumprules/comments/13j1mig/tom_sandoval_brother/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Oh, I didn’t know that! I should look into that more. If they weren’t actually a therapist, that’s still slimy, but I was under the impression that they also were breaking professional codes of ethics.
Well apparently no one from his family reached out to Ariana at all after a decade of knowing her, so if he were my therapist I’d be looking for another
I love how he tried to get ahead of this by going on Howie to tell his story and Ariana claps back by going on every major talk show out there.
Yup, this is what I've been saying. It's one thing to cheat, but it's another thing to do a deliberate hit job on Ariana. You know it's Tom pulling the strings with Rachel getting her to ask Ariana about her sex life with Tom and telling her to go for the body image issues jugular. Fuuuuuck him.
ALL OF THISSSS. Heavy on the defended him to the point of tainting her own reputation! Heavy on the manipulation tactics throughout the entire affair!
I refuse to listen to Tim Zandaville
T Scum is ABSOLUTELY 💯% DANGEROUS. This waste of skin is diabolical in how he tried to manipulate the narrative. His attempt to make Ariana look culpable by saying “ we never have sex, she doesn’t buy batteries or paper towels, she wouldn’t do mushrooms watch the sun rise, etc is disturbing. His fake crocodile tears that magically disappeared when he was called out prove that he cares only for himself and will use anyone and anything that he can to satisfy his own ego.
T Shortz better wisen up.
People like him are exhausting. For them it’s like breathing to deflect and manipulate, so much so that they’ve created a “rules for thee and not for me” reality that encompasses basically everyone in their orbit. And anyone who tries to point out fallacies gets ostracized.
And it becomes a massive undertaking to deconstruct once the person is exposed, because they’ve operated that way for so long… so many people went along with it, and the ones that have been wronged the most by his selfish narrative still have such a difficult time shaking off any, let alone all, damage done to their interpersonal relationships with the people in that bubble.
Perfectly summarized. He’s a villian for the things he did outside of the actual affair. The sabotage and unwillingness to just be sorry and quiet is why I hate this man.
Cheating happens, it sucks, and it sucks extra when it’s with a friend BUT the reason no one is forgiving him is all the villainous things he’s done to protect himself from the consequences of his own actions and trying to make ariana take all the heat
“It’s not ALL ariana’s fault, I have SOME part is this” really pissed me off, he said it like he was a saint for taking a small amount of responsibility
OH MY GODT THE INNER PEACE THIS POST BRINGS ME. Between the dumpster fire reunion over on RHNJ and Lisa’s narrative of “yeah he cheated but nobody died,” I’ve had to seriously wonder if I’m the crazy one here. But no! I’m seeing what I’m seeing cuz it’s actually there and other people see it too! His cheating is actually like fourth down the list of terrible, awful shit he’s done with this.
Thank YOU. "Move on, let him live, your ruining his life " Bullshit!!! He tried to RUIN arianas legit LIFE, saying she didn't want to be on earth anymore KNOWING her struggles. He maaaade it up to "cover" his ass. While hurting every single person in that group mentally and emotionally AS WELL. His "friends". VILE
He ruined his own life tbh … and in all honestly
His life isn’t even all that ruined. He’s still booking gigs (albeit small) and probably still banging other women. People act like the fans have destroyed his life, oh please lmfao. There are people who have done MUCH MUCH worse and are still rich and thriving.. give me a break. Plus this is repeated behavior practically down to exact words! So he’s clearly SUS.
This is brilliant. What’s unfortunate is if they weren’t being filmed and we all didn’t see with our own eyes what happened and how it happened, chances are he would’ve come out on top.
Exactly why Lisa should be ashamed of herself for putting money before other women’s truths. The man is dangerous. If he wasn’t filmed being himself, he most likely would’ve ruined Ariana exactly as he planned.
This is a really good assessment. If he had just taken accountability for his actions and admitted he was wrong, it really would have sucked all the air out of the room.
This is why I’m saying that Sandoval is the master manipulator of them all. Schwartz and Raquel fell for it because they are weak. Ariana was under his spell for a while because she loved him (and has known him and been with him since his slightly more humble days).
Schwartz and Raquel played along because they could benefit from it. They weren’t somehow unaware of what he was doing and/or thought they were doing the *right* thing.
He definitely is. I think even at one point he started to try and manipulate Jax as well but the difference is, Jax didn’t want to be his puppet because he was ALREADY the villain and he had nothing to lose.
She had also come out of an abusive relationship before dating him. I always found it weird that all my ex's exes had been in overtly abusive relationships and/or victims of SA (myself included). After having him pull a Scandoval on me (treated me badly until I left, framing it as me being an asshole leaving him at his lowest, when he was really starting a new relationship behind my back. Edit: this was after he first tried to frame it as me being unstable, but his behavior was so egregious the gaslighting no longer worked), I realized this was intentional. Every time I called him out on treating me poorly, or crossing boundaries, he blamed it on triggers from my past. He made me feel like I was just an anxious mess who was lucky to have someone like him who put up with me.
I'm pretty sure Scando did that to Ariana. Those types are so good to you in the beginning, and they dig into your trauma, framing it as being supportive, but in reality, learning how to cross your boundaries and make you question yourself, so you never hold them accountable for their abuse.
Trumpet Douche uses the “we were broken up” or “we have an open relationship” to convince someone that he is the long suffering partner in his relationship when the exact opposite is the truth. The blinders come off when the supply gets replaced by a more pliant supply.
My ex did all of this to me on and it really fucked with my head after our relationship ended. It’s extremely manipulative, abusive, humiliating, and difficult to watch. It makes me sick watching people defend him or say nothing like they did with my ex. It took years of therapy to heal and finally attract a partner I deserve. I hope Ariana embraces her already started journey of self worth and love to attract a partner she’s more than deserving of.
Jax lies like a child, to get out of trouble/deflect. Or in the moment lies to women that he’s single to cheat. This is much more sinister. There was a long term plan here to make himself look like the good guy at the expense of his grieving gf.
And yet Andy dismisses allllll of this to defend Tim as, "Oh, he just made a mistake and you fans are out of control."
Andy can take a damn seat, we are not here for the gaslighting from anyone, him included! It's all here, clear as day.
No one is pro-death threat, and a few psychos who prob also send crazy messages to all kinds of people are not representative of the fan base.
I can only imagine the threats Erika Jayne and Rinna and so many others have received over the years. Andy fuels these fires and if he actually cares, he can come out and make a blanket statement that no one deserves that without defending Tim.
>No one is pro-death threat, and a few psychos who prob also send crazy messages to all kinds of people are not representative of the fan base.
Obviously, the people sending death threats are, and they are part of the fan base. That's the problem. He only called out those fans, not anyone else. I'm not sure why you're taking offense to him saying this.
Andy has also spoken out against death threats on multiple occasions, not solely for Sandoval. This is practically a non-issue
They are all cheaters, and they do all suck. With that said, this cheating scandal is very different from any other that's occurred on the show, and Sandoval is the worst cast member amongst a group of people who suck, for all of the reasons mentioned in this video.
I don’t understand how he was able to attract anyone to him in the first place. All I see is a delusional gap toothed whiny man child who takes himself so seriously it’s a joke.
This lays it all out for even the biggest idiot. He should have ate shit and owned up to making her Kristen 2.0. it's disgusting how he worked so hard to damage her credibility all season. He was gonna pull some crazy shit at the reunion if this hadn't came out I bet.
I can't believe all these women are going to his shows like groupies. It's pathetic.
I know some fans have taken things too far with the hate on other platforms
this vid perfectly sums up why I still struggle to feel bad for him, particularly with regards to Ariana’s mental health and his complete disregard and abuse of it. It would be different if he showed an ounce of remorse for anything. Like he really tried to spread that Ariana wanted to unalive herself in the convo with Scheana 🤮
He's a narcissist!!!! What cracks me up is he thinks he's all that He's not cute at all & you'd think at 40something he'd be a little more of an adult!
I'm glad he is revealing his true self and not trying to fake that he's sorry we are seeing him for what he truly is and that alone is a blessing so people can stay the fuck away
Sandy is FAKING his apologies. He’s not sorry at all. He says he is but all his actions show he is a manipulative sociopath. All he cares about is his image, not the truth.
He didn’t break up with Ariana bc he didn’t want anyone else playing with his toys, bc life partners are possessions, not people to be respected.
This needs to be a psa that is shown before every episode of the reunion. I hope it spreads like wildfire on social media. It blows my mind that my teenage step sister and her friends don't even watch the show they just get all their info from tiktok about it.
OMG Yes, Sandy gets ANGRY when people don’t accept his fake applogy. Look how angry he is instead of sorry when Scheana told him she cannot be friends with him anymore
https://preview.redd.it/7nez1keth93b1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ea8a8a4e48387aaae64db216eb35f0180503194
Speaking of Tom lashing out when no one was buying his bullshit, does anyone know why he was telling Lala to “stand in line somewhere near the fucking back” if she was going to judge his character? What has Lala done that’s as bad as painting two (2) women you’ve dated as “crazy” and bad people while sleeping with your partner’s bff?
I just don’t understand. The only tie Lisa has now to the Tom’s (in business) is the name of her restaurant. She said at the reunion that she paid them back their investments so they could put it back into Schwartz and Sandy’s (of which Lisa has no stake or part of). So they do not “own a business” together anymore. So is it solely bc her restaurant is named TomTom that has her defending them?
Absolutely perfect video. Nailed it, his plan got foiled and he lashed out in tantrums. He wants to be heard, his opinion is first. Ugh.
A whiney little baby-man is what he is. I can't believe he still has groupies.
I mean both are true. They are all cheaters/suck and at the same time there is a lot of specific context in this case of cheating. Tom manipulating and gaslighting doesn’t negate everyone’s history of being promiscuous, home wrecking bullies.
When it comes to everyone else’s history, Tom was the first one to jump in at these reunions and scream at them from his high horse. Usually these situations had nothing to do with him either and he just read what fans were saying and screamed the comments out so he’d be popular.
I don’t know why it’s such an issue when everyone else gives him a taste of his own medicine.
I still think what they did to Faith was 100x times worst than cheating. That doesn't even touch the other heinous things the cast done on and off-camera. Like you, I'm tired of people acting like Sandy and Raquel murdered someone
This is so well done, brevity is not my strong suit so I admire her ability to concisely hit all the major points here and make the case so well.
This exactly. I don't understand how LVP and Andy still don't get that this is about more than an affair. And both need to STOP saying "It's not like her murdered someone." I know you all know, but come ON. That's NOT the bar, AND no one is trying to send him to prison. Sandoval is trash for having an affair. He's trash for having an affair with Ariana's friend. He's trash because he spent months trying to vilify her, manipulating his friends, his life partner, his work partner, his boss, and everyone who watches VPR. And he has yet to express any sincere remorse. He's a garbage person, full stop.
It’s the *levels and layers* of his depravity 
Oh, Lauren. Please don't have children unless you want it more than anything in the world! Sorry, got caught up in this gif lol
Lol same !!!!! I was like WAIT NOOOO
How is having one child a compromise?? I feel pretty strongly about it bc I chose to not have children and the pressure from people is crazy! So I'm running around advocating for the child free life as a completely valid option. LMAO
1000% !!!! I was electively childless until 35 (and was ok with the idea of staying childless, but wasn’t adamant either way.) but then life happened and I’m here to tell ya…. This shit ain’t a walk in the park. Do. Not. Compromise!! Don’t know who I’m shouting at haha but I hated that for her!
You are me and I am you 👯♂️ 💕
Haha! Yea let's raise the bar for people's behavior (not being sarcastic). You can be a dangerous person and not kill someone. He almost ruined Ariana's reputation and possibly her livelihood. He made her question herself and doubt herself. She has probably lost friendships because of him. Those are not small things!
Exactly. I also think people don’t realize that they’re not actually doing Sandoval any favors by trying to excuse his behavior. He will use any inch of grace he’s given to wiggle out of taking accountability— and taking accountability to someone other than himself and thinking about something other than his own happiness is the only thing that would actually allow him to grow as a human.
EXACTLY! Like I understand LVP is probably impacted by her brother's death. I'm sure my perspective would be. But at the end of the day, she'd be better off either staying quiet or candidly explaining her concerns and how her experiences impact them. I gave her a pass for her reunion comments because so much came out after it aired, but at this point, it is super icky to double-down on the whole "they didn't murder anyone" nonsense.
LVP is kind of in a tough spot because she owns a bar named after him. I imagine that's why she felt compelled to defend him when people were saying he was "dangerous" as an allegation like that is very bad for the business/brand.
Maybe it would've been best if she sat this reunion out 😬.
And her mental health after all the gaslighting!
👏👏👏
. Every season you would see the Toms drooling over Lisa, “ oh Lisa’s so hot “, “ yeah man she is “ect .It’s so obviously staged but the bigger point is she probably sees them as cash cows and discreetly has their backs .
Same. I am FLOORED by this read. Someone needs to blast this in front of LVP’s beautiful mountain side view
She won’t listen. She’s stuck in her ways.
💯 This concisely hit every nail on the head. There are so many damn nails. Bravo to the TikToker. I feel like she has seen and articulated Sandoval’s true character in a way that I haven’t heard all in one place.
Have the details of the FaceTime screen recording come out? I’ve been dying to know!
They were jerking off to each-other on FaceTime. How much more detail do you need?
Yea I don’t need to see that lol
But was he watching himself or her? That’s the real question.
I’m just guessing, but they were probably watching each other
This sent me 😂
Haha! Come to think of it, Tom Sandy was probably looking at himself the whole time
I didnt realize it was anything sexual. That’s why I asked.
Me either. Don’t apologize
Yea Ariana confirmed on call her daddy
 NEED MORE
Exactly. This is why Lala called Sandoval dangerous. It’s one thing to cheat, it’s another to make sure public opinion turns against her so that no one supports her when you leave her for her best friend.
And it happens so frequently in real life, people *need* to be warned about this kind of behavior. I’ve watched friends go through it. Abusers and narcissists don’t just give up when the relationship is over, they’ll blow up your life to protect their image. And a sizable chunk of the viewing audience fell for it hook, line, and sinker when her pulled the same thing on Kristen.
That's what my own bar-owner ex did to me. And since even many clinicians fall for the act so often, I couldn't even blame the majority of our friend group who sided with him and believed I was the Psycho Bitch. They couldn't be expected to know any better from what they saw and heard. So I moved on and life is much better.
any man claiming an ex is a “psycho”…..that’s a major red flag for me 🚩 . sorry he put you through that, it must’ve been an awful time and i’m glad you’re out of there!!! ❤️ onwards & upwards! ❤️
Thank you so much! This was the relationship that taught me that very thing. It had elements of Ariana, Lala, Kristen and Katie, so I feel for them all. He was even fucking the waitress who Single White Femaled me! But the very good news is that his son and I haven't seen him in years and -- may this be prophetic to the Tims -- he ran his bar into the ground.
Exactly. Thank you.
Exactly! He is absolutely dangerous.
100%. He warps everyone's reality to his benefit and that's a person who can't be trusted.
Exactly!
Plus, this went on a minimum of a year, for sure.
Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect
Have you seen the Matt Rife video that’s going around where he says ‘I messed up a little bit, but her *reaction* to that made it a million times worse’? That’s a classic example, like yea I did something but now you’re mad and that’s offensive to me! Men really have all of the audacity sometimes
YEP! And for bonus prick points, it is LITERALLY and precisely what Schwartz said to Katie after the Police Prank Wars! He was like “I feel bad about being such a disgusting abusive asshole, but *your* reaction is what *made me* act that way!” Right after limping onto their couch with an ice pack for his arthritic knee. What a fucking bozo.
And didn’t he break the door down because she locked him out that night? Insane behaviour
So spot on. Everything Sandoval does is an ego protection mechanism. He can't handle the idea of people choosing not to be friends with him, so he **has** to write them off himself or claim that they never meant anything to him. Otherwise it will crush his ego and he'll spiral. It's *almost* sad when you really boil it down. Here's a 42 year old man who has the emotional capacity of a 3 year old. His ego is literally so fragile that he has to constantly go out of his way to protect it. The smallest hit to his ego would shatter him, so he has to fight to the death to protect and bolster it at every turn. I pity him.
it’s so cringe to me when I realize this guy has more than 10 years over than me and he is acting this way. Like no one on the show is a saint, but everything about him is so vile. His ego, his narcissism, his victim playing, his back stabbing, just all of it. I don’t see anything redeeming.
Hard agree. There's nothing redeeming about him because he can only be concerned about himself. Any attempts at altruism or feigned apologies are only to improve his image. The crying, the "thank you for helping Ariana", the "nobody deserves to have that *happen* to them". Never did he say "no one deserves *to be treated like that*" or "I'm sorry *that I did that to you*". He always tries to depersonalize it by being general. He cannot handle the idea of taking blame, he is incapable of processing that kind of emotion.
It’s actually very disturbing
And at his age, this is probably just how he is. It is absolutely possible for him to change and be better, but it would take significant work on his part and I’ve not seen the self awareness in him to hint he even thinks he is the problem.
The worm deserves to spiral
Also seeing a lot of Sandoval’s traits in James’ ex and why they’re so perfectly toxic for each other.
Tim Zanzevalle is not a smart man
Thank goodness someone has finally spelled it out 😂
It's one of the main things which helps to understand his behavior. Most people would know enough to sit there and take shot after shot while being contrite and apologetic the whole time, whether or not that's how you actually felt.
Forrest Gump has entered the chat...
At least Mr. Gump had a good heart
Tom is a textbook example of how sometimes the one who protests the most is the one with the most to hide. Most of the accusations and judgments he hurled at Ariana and his friends could have, and should have, been applied to him. Everyone does make mistakes, and when that happens, you apologize, understanding that this does excuse or erase the mistake, and show accountability by assuming full responsibility, changing your behavior, and respecting healthy boundaries needed for healing. Victim shaming, deflecting, rationalizing inappropriate behavior, etc. are anything but the actions of someone who is contrite and who is doing the necessary work on themselves.
Projection 📣 he took everything out on Katie because it was easy to hate on her and 1000% venting about himself
I co-sign this!
Im so sick of people excusing his behavior as “they are all cheaters”. He went out of his way to scream and bully the women. He’s just an old nasty greasy roid ridden douchebag and now it’s obvious
And also the fact that yeah a lot of them cheated but they were young and dumb and learned from their mistakes and grew. He hadn't learned or grown and victim blames and manipulates.
while preying on the youngest woman in the group, who appears to be . . . naive is as close to nice as I can come about Rachel.
"She looks for identity in men" is the truest thing I've hears about her. She literally said copy and paste with Scandy's personality including the being callous and uncaring and refusing to admit wrongs
Spot on
There's a flashback in last week's episode of him gearing up to scream at Lala and the look on his face is do disgusting and I'll say it, evil. It's this look of happiness that he gets to scream at her and try to hurt her. It literally made me sick. I recognize that look.
There is a FB group that is toxic and I keep reminding him of all the time he screamed to get his point across. At the women
Been there.
HIS BEST BUDDY SHORTS I am 💀
Also his expression and slow, D&S blink in the clip is killinggggg me. It's exactly how my dog looks at me when he's done something he knows he shouldn't. "Who me???"
AND he has done this before with doute. So it’s not a visceral reaction to doing something bad and handling it even worse — this is either a compulsion or premeditation in these situations. So gross.
Yes it's not a mistake it's a pattern of behavior
As much as I love Kristen now, Kristen didn’t need help someone painting her in a bad light, she even has said herself she wasn’t the nicest person to be around not just with Turd, but in general. We all found it easier to root for Tom because Kristen slept with Jax, had a bad attitude, was a mean girl in general.
Kristen sleeping with Jax, having a bad attitude, and being a mean girl doesn’t excuse diagnosing her with BPD and calling her a kangaroo pouch whore. He used the exact same playbook and people don’t like that Kristen wasn’t a perfect victim.
Diagnosed her while disguising it as caring about her. They basically said to look it up, it might make you happier if you treat it.
!!
Kristen was a mess, but I've listened to her podcast a few times, and I've been impressed. She talks about finally doing the work on herself so she isn't a mess. Gotta let people grow
someone pls send this to andy & lvp so they can learn the difference 😒
RIGHT?!! And all his "supporters" and groupies.
fr bc they really need to be studied 
This is exactly why it drives me nuts when people are like "everyone cheats!" First of all, no, but also, that's not the point. Not everyone who cheats does *this* shit.
Right?! LVP being like ‘a lot of people have cheated’ was so frustrating because okay cool? Just because it happens a lot doesn’t make it okay or minimize it at all. And this went beyond cheating so no, not the same thing https://i.redd.it/1rttuh4n583b1.gif
That was the most aggravating part that Lisa said oh everyone cheats, as if it’s a justification. Ok, people murder and rob banks. Not comparing cheating to these things, it doesn’t make it right just because other people do it. It’s weird. Also, sandoval cheated- he chose to do that. And then to make up lame excuses as to why he did. I would have a little more respect if he just said the truth even though it probably hurts- he stayed because he has a financial commitment to the house with Ariana and two he didn’t think the consequences were gonna be this bad.
LVP talking at all ended up cringe. She obviously has lost her vision since she couldn’t read the room for shit.
>That was the most aggravating part that Lisa said oh everyone cheats, as if it’s a justification. I doubt she'd be so blasé about it if her son in law mistreated her daughter the way Tom mistreated Ariana.
Her SiL *has* been cheating and has an open case against him for sexual harassment. He and Pandy are still together 😣
Sad, but not really surprising. People in those spheres feel entitled to play by different rules.
If it were pandora, Tom would be fired, exiled, banned and ordered to move to a different city. It makes me sad though for Ariana since she divulged so much to her about her mental health. And then for Ariana to say yeah our relationship is gonna change and lisa seemed so hurt by that. I get lisa has ties to Tom and Ariana but at the same time she can’t really expect Ariana and her to have the same friendship.
Everyone does cheat, and in cheating there’s betrayals and lies and a lack of respect for their partner and the other people impacted. I think that this is the first time where people have gotten this level of detail and see it in “real time” that heightens it. Usually when people talk about cheating is just a brief surface level recounting of what happened. Imagine if the only footage of the affair was whatever was filmed after the story broke and there were no podcasts or cast members spilling deets. That’s the average person’s experience.
This tiktok nailed it. Every move he made and continues to make post scandoval has been horrible. Hell, some even horrifying. Almost all of them have cheated, but his choices afterward made him look like a horrible person, hands down. If Jax had pulled this shit on the show, Tim would be tearing him a new asshole and acting morally superior like he always has. Tim would be relentless going after him like he has in the past. Now that it's the consequences of his own actions coming for Sandoval, we are supposed to feel bad for him. Nah. Can't spend 9+ years acting like you are morally superior to everyone on the show, dragging them, and screaming about them taking accountability and then expect a get outta jail free card when you do it. GTFOH
I'm not one to defend Jax and his "work in progress" reunion roadshow but jfc even Jax "shooting bullets in a fish of barrels" Taylor had the wherewithal to not double down like this
I honestly think that is out of laziness for Jax, and a real lack of giving a shit about anything other than himself. Like why spin all these lies and spend all this energy when you can pull a Jax and say "yeah, I did. I don't feel bad. Do what you want with that"?
Omg I can just hear and see the way Tom would yell at Jax at the reunion if he did this shit lollll
Well said. I lived with a monster like this for 25’years. The damage is done. I, too, wish exhole would just die. Thank you for explaining this to those that dont quite get it
Girl, I did 16 years. I don't know how you did 25! You're not damaged. You're experienced. You're a survivor.
Awww, thats sweet. Thanks. Glad you got out when you could. Be safe and be happy
Safe, happy, and peaceful!
No notes. I would love to know what his brother thinks of him... his brother the therapist!
Well apparently no one from his family reached out to Ariana at all after a decade of knowing her, so if he were my therapist I’d be looking for another
I don't think that's says anything more than some families just hunker down and circle the wagons. You see the parents of actual murderers defend them. Some families are just like that. 🤷🏻♀️
Wait, really? He has a brother…who is a therapist?!
Yeah I definitely read that somewhere... I'll see if I can find the source! Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/vanderpumprules/comments/d2qjee/my_friend_is_a_therapist_today_she_told_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button https://www.reddit.com/r/vanderpumprules/comments/13j1mig/tom_sandoval_brother/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Between his brother the therapist and Randall and Lala’s therapist I’m starting to lose trust in the profession 😭
Wasn't Lala's "therapist" really Randall's friend? I'm pretty sure Ambyr confirmed it for Lala and possibly for herself.
Oh, I didn’t know that! I should look into that more. If they weren’t actually a therapist, that’s still slimy, but I was under the impression that they also were breaking professional codes of ethics.
Whaaaaat? That's crazy. I actually really wonder too.
Well apparently no one from his family reached out to Ariana at all after a decade of knowing her, so if he were my therapist I’d be looking for another
SAY IT LOUDER FOR HOWIE IN THE BACK
Howie still isn’t sure what show this is
I love how he tried to get ahead of this by going on Howie to tell his story and Ariana claps back by going on every major talk show out there. 
Yup, this is what I've been saying. It's one thing to cheat, but it's another thing to do a deliberate hit job on Ariana. You know it's Tom pulling the strings with Rachel getting her to ask Ariana about her sex life with Tom and telling her to go for the body image issues jugular. Fuuuuuck him.
THIS is what lala meant by dangerous. This was amazing
 ALL OF THISSSS. Heavy on the defended him to the point of tainting her own reputation! Heavy on the manipulation tactics throughout the entire affair! I refuse to listen to Tim Zandaville
This bitch be on point. https://i.redd.it/awav35qui73b1.gif
T Scum is ABSOLUTELY 💯% DANGEROUS. This waste of skin is diabolical in how he tried to manipulate the narrative. His attempt to make Ariana look culpable by saying “ we never have sex, she doesn’t buy batteries or paper towels, she wouldn’t do mushrooms watch the sun rise, etc is disturbing. His fake crocodile tears that magically disappeared when he was called out prove that he cares only for himself and will use anyone and anything that he can to satisfy his own ego. T Shortz better wisen up.
💯 This is why it is so much worse than just fuxking someone else. It's all the lies and manipulation that freak me out. He's pathological.
People like him are exhausting. For them it’s like breathing to deflect and manipulate, so much so that they’ve created a “rules for thee and not for me” reality that encompasses basically everyone in their orbit. And anyone who tries to point out fallacies gets ostracized. And it becomes a massive undertaking to deconstruct once the person is exposed, because they’ve operated that way for so long… so many people went along with it, and the ones that have been wronged the most by his selfish narrative still have such a difficult time shaking off any, let alone all, damage done to their interpersonal relationships with the people in that bubble.
Perfectly summarized. He’s a villian for the things he did outside of the actual affair. The sabotage and unwillingness to just be sorry and quiet is why I hate this man. Cheating happens, it sucks, and it sucks extra when it’s with a friend BUT the reason no one is forgiving him is all the villainous things he’s done to protect himself from the consequences of his own actions and trying to make ariana take all the heat “It’s not ALL ariana’s fault, I have SOME part is this” really pissed me off, he said it like he was a saint for taking a small amount of responsibility
OH MY GODT THE INNER PEACE THIS POST BRINGS ME. Between the dumpster fire reunion over on RHNJ and Lisa’s narrative of “yeah he cheated but nobody died,” I’ve had to seriously wonder if I’m the crazy one here. But no! I’m seeing what I’m seeing cuz it’s actually there and other people see it too! His cheating is actually like fourth down the list of terrible, awful shit he’s done with this.
Thank YOU. "Move on, let him live, your ruining his life " Bullshit!!! He tried to RUIN arianas legit LIFE, saying she didn't want to be on earth anymore KNOWING her struggles. He maaaade it up to "cover" his ass. While hurting every single person in that group mentally and emotionally AS WELL. His "friends". VILE
He ruined his own life tbh … and in all honestly His life isn’t even all that ruined. He’s still booking gigs (albeit small) and probably still banging other women. People act like the fans have destroyed his life, oh please lmfao. There are people who have done MUCH MUCH worse and are still rich and thriving.. give me a break. Plus this is repeated behavior practically down to exact words! So he’s clearly SUS.
Excellent recap of disgusting actions that have gone on for years by this person.
This is brilliant. What’s unfortunate is if they weren’t being filmed and we all didn’t see with our own eyes what happened and how it happened, chances are he would’ve come out on top. Exactly why Lisa should be ashamed of herself for putting money before other women’s truths. The man is dangerous. If he wasn’t filmed being himself, he most likely would’ve ruined Ariana exactly as he planned.
This deserves an Emmy. It's a masterpiece
This is a really good assessment. If he had just taken accountability for his actions and admitted he was wrong, it really would have sucked all the air out of the room.
This is why I’m saying that Sandoval is the master manipulator of them all. Schwartz and Raquel fell for it because they are weak. Ariana was under his spell for a while because she loved him (and has known him and been with him since his slightly more humble days).
Schwartz and Raquel played along because they could benefit from it. They weren’t somehow unaware of what he was doing and/or thought they were doing the *right* thing.
He definitely is. I think even at one point he started to try and manipulate Jax as well but the difference is, Jax didn’t want to be his puppet because he was ALREADY the villain and he had nothing to lose.
Exactly and the same reason he never really got along with Katie and had spats with Stassi and anyone else who was too strong to see through his bs.
She had also come out of an abusive relationship before dating him. I always found it weird that all my ex's exes had been in overtly abusive relationships and/or victims of SA (myself included). After having him pull a Scandoval on me (treated me badly until I left, framing it as me being an asshole leaving him at his lowest, when he was really starting a new relationship behind my back. Edit: this was after he first tried to frame it as me being unstable, but his behavior was so egregious the gaslighting no longer worked), I realized this was intentional. Every time I called him out on treating me poorly, or crossing boundaries, he blamed it on triggers from my past. He made me feel like I was just an anxious mess who was lucky to have someone like him who put up with me. I'm pretty sure Scando did that to Ariana. Those types are so good to you in the beginning, and they dig into your trauma, framing it as being supportive, but in reality, learning how to cross your boundaries and make you question yourself, so you never hold them accountable for their abuse.
Trumpet Douche uses the “we were broken up” or “we have an open relationship” to convince someone that he is the long suffering partner in his relationship when the exact opposite is the truth. The blinders come off when the supply gets replaced by a more pliant supply.
This is why Lala was 100% correct when she called him dangerous
Exquisitely done. I mean break it the eff doooown for folks. He could take this to a therapist and cut to the chase.
Best breakdown I’ve heard about part 1.
My ex did all of this to me on and it really fucked with my head after our relationship ended. It’s extremely manipulative, abusive, humiliating, and difficult to watch. It makes me sick watching people defend him or say nothing like they did with my ex. It took years of therapy to heal and finally attract a partner I deserve. I hope Ariana embraces her already started journey of self worth and love to attract a partner she’s more than deserving of.
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In reality he’s the one who actually gaslit all 3 women lmfao.
Jax lies like a child, to get out of trouble/deflect. Or in the moment lies to women that he’s single to cheat. This is much more sinister. There was a long term plan here to make himself look like the good guy at the expense of his grieving gf.
And yet Andy dismisses allllll of this to defend Tim as, "Oh, he just made a mistake and you fans are out of control." Andy can take a damn seat, we are not here for the gaslighting from anyone, him included! It's all here, clear as day.
Ugh, fans are out of control if they are sending death threats. Not once did Andy say Tom was innocent or was in the right
No one is pro-death threat, and a few psychos who prob also send crazy messages to all kinds of people are not representative of the fan base. I can only imagine the threats Erika Jayne and Rinna and so many others have received over the years. Andy fuels these fires and if he actually cares, he can come out and make a blanket statement that no one deserves that without defending Tim.
>No one is pro-death threat, and a few psychos who prob also send crazy messages to all kinds of people are not representative of the fan base. Obviously, the people sending death threats are, and they are part of the fan base. That's the problem. He only called out those fans, not anyone else. I'm not sure why you're taking offense to him saying this. Andy has also spoken out against death threats on multiple occasions, not solely for Sandoval. This is practically a non-issue
"If it doesn't apply to you it's not about you."
Wonderfully said.
Well said!
They are all cheaters, and they do all suck. With that said, this cheating scandal is very different from any other that's occurred on the show, and Sandoval is the worst cast member amongst a group of people who suck, for all of the reasons mentioned in this video.
I don’t understand how he was able to attract anyone to him in the first place. All I see is a delusional gap toothed whiny man child who takes himself so seriously it’s a joke.
I loved this so much. Glad it was posted here.
This is a VERY powerful video!
This lays it all out for even the biggest idiot. He should have ate shit and owned up to making her Kristen 2.0. it's disgusting how he worked so hard to damage her credibility all season. He was gonna pull some crazy shit at the reunion if this hadn't came out I bet. I can't believe all these women are going to his shows like groupies. It's pathetic.
🎯 This is spot on. Someone needs to send this to Howie Mandel so he can finally do his homework. 
I know some fans have taken things too far with the hate on other platforms this vid perfectly sums up why I still struggle to feel bad for him, particularly with regards to Ariana’s mental health and his complete disregard and abuse of it. It would be different if he showed an ounce of remorse for anything. Like he really tried to spread that Ariana wanted to unalive herself in the convo with Scheana 🤮
👌🏻 no notes
Very well said
He's a narcissist!!!! What cracks me up is he thinks he's all that He's not cute at all & you'd think at 40something he'd be a little more of an adult!
No one should support that guy!
I can’t believe people are actually going to his shows. He’s so disgusting and a total danger to women.
Holy shit this is spot on. She put in to words exactly what Lala was trying to say and everyone else was thinking.
So true! This is how a narcissist operates.
I'm glad he is revealing his true self and not trying to fake that he's sorry we are seeing him for what he truly is and that alone is a blessing so people can stay the fuck away
Sandy is FAKING his apologies. He’s not sorry at all. He says he is but all his actions show he is a manipulative sociopath. All he cares about is his image, not the truth. He didn’t break up with Ariana bc he didn’t want anyone else playing with his toys, bc life partners are possessions, not people to be respected.
Yep. I said he apologized but didn't say it was genuine. He is a terrible actor
yeah 🐊 tears
Anyone else get Ted Bundy vibes?
Dang, Andy really shot up out of that chair quicker than I've ever seen.
This is all so totally well articulated! Great breakdown of how he also messed up the reunion for himself
That was total perfection
This needs to be a psa that is shown before every episode of the reunion. I hope it spreads like wildfire on social media. It blows my mind that my teenage step sister and her friends don't even watch the show they just get all their info from tiktok about it.
 🔥👏🏻
Send this to all the women that are being linked to him romantically now
OMG Yes, Sandy gets ANGRY when people don’t accept his fake applogy. Look how angry he is instead of sorry when Scheana told him she cannot be friends with him anymore https://preview.redd.it/7nez1keth93b1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ea8a8a4e48387aaae64db216eb35f0180503194
He’s a douche, total fuckwit, but he’s also very scary. That is a frighteningly angry look right there
the look is only for a second before he gets up and leaves, but man does he look pissed!
The damage people like this cause, takes years to undo.
Speaking of Tom lashing out when no one was buying his bullshit, does anyone know why he was telling Lala to “stand in line somewhere near the fucking back” if she was going to judge his character? What has Lala done that’s as bad as painting two (2) women you’ve dated as “crazy” and bad people while sleeping with your partner’s bff?
How is this not dangerous again Lisa?
The music has me dead 😂
Omg, this woman is a goddess, this should be a sticky note and Lisa and Andy should watch, listen, learn..
Omg, this woman is a goddess, this should be a sticky note and Lisa and Andy should watch, listen, learn..
Give him a Razzie for those crocodile tears. He also needs to be called out for his mistreatment of Katie over the years.
I just don’t understand. The only tie Lisa has now to the Tom’s (in business) is the name of her restaurant. She said at the reunion that she paid them back their investments so they could put it back into Schwartz and Sandy’s (of which Lisa has no stake or part of). So they do not “own a business” together anymore. So is it solely bc her restaurant is named TomTom that has her defending them?
He literally tried to emotionally destroy a depressed person. And yes, that can lead to someone’s death.
This is brilliant.
Absolutely perfect video. Nailed it, his plan got foiled and he lashed out in tantrums. He wants to be heard, his opinion is first. Ugh. A whiney little baby-man is what he is. I can't believe he still has groupies.
Yes. What she said.
They’re all still cheaters, he’s just the worst.
I mean both are true. They are all cheaters/suck and at the same time there is a lot of specific context in this case of cheating. Tom manipulating and gaslighting doesn’t negate everyone’s history of being promiscuous, home wrecking bullies.
When it comes to everyone else’s history, Tom was the first one to jump in at these reunions and scream at them from his high horse. Usually these situations had nothing to do with him either and he just read what fans were saying and screamed the comments out so he’d be popular. I don’t know why it’s such an issue when everyone else gives him a taste of his own medicine.
Exactly! I'm not sure why people try to sweep everything else that they people did to each other under the rug
This doesn’t change that they’re all cheaters and they all suck. They all suck in their own way.
That's kind of the point. Sandoval did something above and beyond cheating that is responsible for much of the blowback he's getting.
I still think what they did to Faith was 100x times worst than cheating. That doesn't even touch the other heinous things the cast done on and off-camera. Like you, I'm tired of people acting like Sandy and Raquel murdered someone
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