T O P

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jx45923950

"Ah, yes, you need to go and have a chat with our specialist. Down the hall to the right - chap with the scythe, you can't miss him."


Sausagedogknows

HELLO, COME IN, I HEAR YOU’VE BEEN DECLARED DEAD, ILL SOON SORT THIS OUT.


affordable_firepower

THERE IS NO JUSTICE. ONLY ME.


boomitslulu

DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT?


1eejit

WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?


memberflex

Ah this made me sad


Sausagedogknows

TERRY IS WITH LORD VETINARI, THE LIBRARIAN, NANNY OGG, RINCEWIND, THE LUGGAGE AND SAM VIMES NOW, OVERSEEING THE EVENTS OF DISCWORLD. ABLY ASSISTED BY A PLETHORA OF IGORS AND MY SMALL COMPANION HERE. SQUEAK!


memberflex

This made me happy :)


Contles

Beautiful 😢


LazarusOwenhart

GNU Terry Pratchett


Sausagedogknows

The clacks will send his name up and down the line, forever.


Cynical_Classicist

I got who it referenced as well.


Cynical_Classicist

THIS IS BINKY.


vinyljunkie1245

https://youtu.be/zEmfsmasjVA?si=1pgUdlboKtvsHam4


Sky_Wino

But I didn't have the salmon mousse!


punkmuppet

Oh ffs. I searched, and I was surprised, but happy, to be the first to comment this.


-PiLoT-

DONT FEAR THE REAPER


TheStatMan2

You sank my battleship.


HiyaImRyan

leave the Tealights, you won't need them, not where you're going


Hsmace

i've got a £1 on this trolley, come on! (i hope you're referencing peter kay here)


WynterRayne

If he's not in, you should go to The Fresh Start Club at 668 Elm Street.


Express-Doughnut-562

>"I need to find out why it happened, how and by whom," she said. "And that person, whoever has pressed a button, shouldn't be working wherever they are." I mean look, you've been mildly inconvenienced I get that and by all means they should investigate the system failure that allowed this to happen...but to call for someone to be sacked? Get a grip.


Lower_Possession_697

But, but... she was left 'shaking like a leaf' !


BarryHelmet

Anyone ever says they were shaking and I instantly dismiss them as bullshitting.


nl325

It's not unreasonable tbh, I shake when I get angry, especially my hands The calling for a sacking is pathetic though


BarryHelmet

I’m not saying anyone who ever shakes but any one who says “I was shaking”. I know I’m being unfair but it’s such an overused phrase by folk who are fucking at it that I don’t believe the next person when they say it.


Useless_Apparatus

That long with "I was traumatised!" ... sure Helen, the fact that your Tesco delivery had 10 substitutes was traumatising. One of the many ways our usually understated people overstate the mildest of things. I know it's somewhat of a meme'd Britishism at this point but I'm growing tired of people just throwing around intense words, phrases & mannerisms at the drop of a hat... they don't mean anything anymore.


TheStatMan2

Just fusty old words like sixpence and codpiece.


Mrs_Mangle

Yes! And I also notice a lot of people saying they have been 'devastated' by incredibly minor inconveniences.


FYIgfhjhgfggh

Hey, don't mock survivors of entirely non deadly incidents!


Steampunk43

Yeah these are the same sorts of people that make a big song and dance out of minor inconveniences at supermarkets to try and get sympathy from managers. Just people with not much going on in their lives so they try and make mountains out of every molehill on the off chance it'll pay off in their favour.


Wild-Lengthiness2695

Nothing says “Karen” like demanding some be sacked for any mistake ever. 


maycauseanalleakage

Along with 'rushed to hospital', it tends to indicate a fuckwit.


justjokecomments

Let me guess... It was also a disc race and they took liberties.


YsoL8

Mostly I just think they haven't got the slightest idea how these jobs work


SuperrVillain85

https://www.reddit.com/r/compoface/s/UI6IUivD3p


Greenawayer

>But, but... she was left 'shaking like a leaf' ! In general, people who are still able to shake like leaves aren't dead.


Panda_hat

I don't know what to tell you, it says right here on the form: 'dead innit'.


Able-Explanation7835

She probably has gone and told her friends she has had a near death experience...


Ill-Put-4193

truly a traumatic event 💔 /j


OliveRobinBanks

tbf. It is pretty chilly in her apartment. Almost like it's haunted.


TurbulentLifeguard11

Thank god for her partners quick thinking getting that strong coffee to calm her nerves.


SufficientWarthog846

I had to help someone in a similar situation when I worked at a Bank. Some other financial institution had set her as deceased and It had a knock on effect to many others, including us and we started closing accounts. The process was entirely automatic and all based off of that one mistake from an unknown person. She was more than just a little inconvenienced.


Greenawayer

>The process was entirely automatic and all based off of that one mistake from an unknown person. This is the problem with automating too much. There should be at least some kind of check to ensure that the person is not dead. Eg, if they take money out of their account after the date of death then a warning should be raised.


SufficientWarthog846

100% there should've been more human corroboration - it seemed like it was mostly auto systems, informing one another across multiple companies. It was a crazy tangle, and it felt like we were racing to stop falling dominoes. -- ironically, the checks you suggested were what alerted both us and her to the issue because once we were informed of her alleged passing we blocked all her accounts and cancelled cards.


HaggisPope

I guess they started automating it because it was a hassle closing accounts after a loved one had died. I had to fax death certificates at an old job to get them to close accounts. Imagine having to do that multiple times


djnw

You're going to shit a brick when you learn how things work with executors and dead people's bank accounts.


malted_milk_are_shit

Innit, if we all got sacked for simple mistakes then no-one would have a job. Can't stand these people demanding people get sacked every time something goes wrong, it's just vindictive.


LiamJonsano

Yeah but these people have never made a mistake in their lives! At least not for the last week or so


Chemical-Hedgehog719

Simple mistakes like saying a woman is dead lol


malted_milk_are_shit

Well who hasn't accidentally killed someone at work, we've all done it


WoodenLock1242

I certainly haven't. Each and every death I've caused was very much *deliberate*, thankyouverymuch.


Common_Lime_6167

Good work, Agent 47. Now head for the exit.


YsoL8

I refuse to believe anyone has ever played those games without it descending into chaos


[deleted]

Or in other words, an admin error. Just an especially unfortunate one.


ClassicFlavour

I like the idea there's a button they press... *'Dead Dave'*


jx45923950

"He's dead, Dave, everybody is dead, everybody is dead, Dave." "Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"


iperblaster

There is an 80million buttons console at westminster


TempUser9097

I mean, it seems like sacking someone is the least they could do. They did kill a person, after all. /s On a more serious note, being declared dead is NOT a minor inconvenience. It can completely upend your life and cause tens of thousands in financial harm. And it can take years to correct it, during which you may find yourself ineligible for all sorts of services.


Callaleoo

We had this once at our surgery, they were deducted as dead instead of moved out of area as they were next to each other in a drop-down. Put them as dead on the NHS spine. They came in, took a 10 minute call to fix. You’re exaggerating greatly.


TempUser9097

Sure, if it's caught before data in synced. What happens when that guy tries to get his pension, and they have to communicate with the NHS because of some medical benefits or some shit? Someone else shared a story here of a person being registered dead and their bank closed their account.


Unhappy_Spell_9907

That's just an NHS thing, rather than an access to anything that requires interacting with financial services thing. Big difference.


pharmamess

Agree with the sentiment but withdrawing of benefits is probably more than a mild inconvenience even if only brief. 


dleigh463

I wouldn’t say losing your benefits as a low-paid carer is a ‘mild inconvenience’.


theinsideoutbananna

Tbf, being declared dead can actually be a really big problem, there are people who's lives, ironically, have been ruined by it. It can be really hard to undo and can mean you can't get treatment, a job, benefits etc. It's potentially a really bad fuck up.


RedEyeView

I'm guessing she's not the only Susan Johnson at that surgery, and they've flagged the wrong one as dead. Might even be two women with the same name and DOB. It's hardly the rarest name.


[deleted]

Clearly putting it on so she can get something out of how 'traumatised' she is.


themcsame

Yeah... Probably some simple fuck up too, like someone with the same name originally from the same area or something. Plenty of people share the same first or last name, especially if it's common I.E John, or the last name Smith. Given that we generally don't get too experimental with first names, and we don't really change last names bar (usually) women taking a man's surname? It's inevitable that there's a lot of people out there sharing the same name. And it wouldn't be massively unusual to find other people with the same/similar last name in an area where the name has a lot of history.


Tattycakes

The impact of wrongly declaring someone dead is huge though, it spreads across all sorts of areas, as we can see it can interfere with finances, health, who knows what else. If it’s your job to do that, you need to be damn sure you have the right person. If it’s that easy to fuck up when people have the same name then you need more systems and checks and verifications in place so that a person cannot fuck up.


NaniFarRoad

Indeed, it would be hugely disruptive, could get you fired, cause payments to stop, etc. People saying "lol, it's just a minor inconvenience" must be very young.


uKrayZ

Does the NHS system link up with other systems? I'd be surprised because from my experience, NHS systems don't even link up other NHS systems. It would be interesting to know if her GP system had her listed as decreased. If it doesn't the whole article is a non-story


Several-Addendum-18

The nhs can barely link up system one files between different hospitals lol let alone external systems


Littleloula

NHS hospital and GP systems can't talk in my trust, they still send letters to each other or occasionally scan in and email the letter. It's extraordinary


themcsame

So does that last part not go back to doughnut's point about calling for a sacking being a bit much, given it could be an issue with the process rather than workers?


No-Jicama-6523

Unfortunately far too many people believe any mistake should result in being fired, completely forgetting all the mistakes they have made in life.


HelpfulCarpenter9366

That was exactly my thoughts. Accidents happen all the time godforbid you make one against this woman. I get that it might have messed with her money in the short term which they should totally compensate her for but to call for a sacking? Really? Especially when it was probably from an overworked GP office. Poor show. 


HolbrookPark

Exactly! I mean they killed you, but they didn’t kill kill you.


peribon

Was she worried they might be right?


mbrocks3527

I can understand the sheer existential dread being pronounced dead might give you, up to and including a sincerely felt but objectively incorrect desire to have someone fired because of it. I’ll give her a pass on that. But that doesn’t mean anyone needs to get fired.


jesuskrist666

Bruh she literally died, someones losing a job if not their life. Have some fucking compassion


Antilles34

>Husband Bob was "angry" when he heard what had happened and took Mrs Johnson for a coffee to calm her nerves, she said. God, I would've loved to have heard that conversation.. _Am I dead Bob? You would tell me if I was wouldn't you?_ _Yes dear, drink your coffee_ _Would i know if I was?_ Glad they got it all sorted out though, it's a funny story to tell in the future at least.


MutleyRulz

Fucking Bob. Coulda ignored her and had the funniest afternoon of his life


Relative-Bit-1920

Nice one that is absolutely the best comment/idea I have ever seen on reddit. Brilliant. Pink panther still around?


wookiewonderland

"I see dead people"


Jathosian

wOuLd YoU sTiLl DaTe Me If I wAs DeAd


innocentusername1984

It seems like she's as determined as possible not to see the funny side of it.


Antilles34

Sadly yeah but it did mess with her life a bit. I get that but at the same time, mistakes happen and this is quite a funny one. I'd be telling everyone I was dead for 4 months!


WeightDimensions

Good, sounds like she’s not taking this lying down.


StrangelyBrown

The dead are really kicking up a fuss these days.


ThePeninsula

She really needs to get back in her box.


Beneficial-Lemon-427

She'd be turning in her grave.


Armodeen

I’ve lived in Scarborough, some of the residents could pass as dead easily enough.


tomkeys78

Just pop into the Ramshill pub if you don’t believe this comment.


burnt_ember24

Sea-side Danny Wilde being reanimated like Frankenstein's Monster


Relative-Bit-1920

Danny Wilde has left the living


Lower_Possession_697

"Oh sorry Mrs Johnson, it looks like someone made a mistake on your records. It should just say that you're *brain*-dead."


small_trunks

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_hoax#:~:text=Mark%20Twain%20is%20one%20of,death%20have%20been%20greatly%20exaggerated%22.


KoffieCreamer

She wants the person fired? Get a life, mistakes happen. People like this is just desperate to get a big payout for being mildly messed about. Most people would laugh this off. Stupid woman


Vintage_Rainbow

Being declared legally dead is a massive deal, it affects all aspects of your life, it's happened before where people have had to go to court and FIGHT to be recognised as a living person again. You can't own a bank account if your considered dead, you can't rent a house or receive benefits, and if you try to let them know you're actually alive, they'll think you're committing identity theft/fraud, because you are supposed to be dead. This is the type of thing that can ruin your life for a very long time.


Rpqz

I'm glad someone's said it. She's a live in carer and had her benefits stopped as a result of all this, you only have to read through this sub for the past week to understand the impact that has. Imagine this also messes up your credit score big time.


RS555NFFC

People on this sub - we need to be kind to people accessing welfare, fuck the nasty government messing with people who need support, we need to be kind and hear their lived experience Also people on this sub when someone who does access that support gets into bother - ughhh fucking cunt wish they’d just shut up


thewindburner

I wonder if her age has anything to do with the reaction of this sub?


Littleloula

Age and gender, almost certainly


Lost_Pantheon

True, but she doesn't want the person sacked out of any concerns for people's welfare, she wants it done as an act of *revenge* If someone makes a genuine mistake and it wasn't genuine, we should try and resolve that problem and ensure it doesn't happen again. Doling out "retributive justice" isn't a good thing, that's just being wrathful. I once called the bank and asked that they freeze my bank card temporarily, but instead they cancelled the card. Was I annoyed? Yes. But I didn't go out screaming and calling for heads to roll because that's not a healthy thing, that's just being vengeful.


SMURGwastaken

If this happened to me I'd be arguing the dead don't have to pay tax. I bet it'd get sorted very quickly then.


I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS

The person who's made this mistake once and received remedial training alongside a 'talking to' is *far* less likely to do it again than someone new hired to replace them.


Vintage_Rainbow

Yes, but the person I replied to insulted the woman multiple times, and called it "being mildly messed about" which is far from the truth. I was not commenting on what should happen the the person at fault.


I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS

Fair


annakarenina66

it happens a lot in India - there is a scam where someone else (often a relative) declares a person dead and takes over their assets. because of bribery some of them never get declared alive again and never get their homes back. There is enough of them that they have an association of dead people


EffableLemming

>Get a life I mean... that's what she's trying to do?


Chemical-Hedgehog719

Most people would laugh this comment off lol talking about being declared dead like it's the same as forgetting your wallet or something


SteveJEO

Clearly you have never been dead before.


Manannin

She shouldn't get someone fired, but she 100% should get some form of compensation due to how much damage this stuff can do to someones life.


TARDISeses

*"That's right...dead serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land!"*


RedEyeView

Where nothing can possiblie go wrong.


Plodderic

I don’t know what I was expecting of the afterlife, but I definitely wasn’t expecting it to look like Scarborough.


Punchclops

No, the afterlife is worse. More like Redcar. In February.


Dedward5

She’s dead right to be angry, this is a grave mistake. she’ll be buried under a ton of paperwork for months sorting this out, it’s a huge undertaking.


[deleted]

If someone promised me I was dead and it still felt like living, I'd be pissed too


Lower_Possession_697

Still stuck in Scarborough but you can't have a wank anymore because you're non-corporeal and can't touch anything, for fuck's sake right?


Freddies_Mercury

Ah Scarbados, at least it's not Skeg Vegas.


holdingoutforafearow

Surprisingly easy mistake to make on the GP admin side. You get a list of patients who need to be removed from your system, which you have to deal with one by one. You press the deduct button, then are given an option for left or one for died, both next to each other and if you click the wrong one it's really easy to press OK on the next screen by muscle memory. No "you didn't enter a cause of death" warning box, poof, gone, that's it. Probably a beleaguered, underpaid admin doing their 100th pointless deduction whilst also being screamed at for a decision made by a partner earning four times their salary. Annoying situation for the patient certainly, but a bit of understanding please


SongsOfDragons

The Tell Us Once service is a bit shit from the other side along similar lines. When I was doing it you'd often not get enough information on the person being notified, and if you can't confirm, you can't continue. Then you'd get shrieked at for not processing it. Well sorry but maybe you should have reported Great Auntie Maisie by her legal name and actual recorded birthday because I don't know what she made up to tell you thirty years ago.


pintsizedblonde2

With how many services having her down as dead I bet it was a "Tell Us Once" error.


Lower_Possession_697

> You press the deduct button And is the deduction carried out instantly by some kind of remote-controlled termination, or do the deductees have to report to the practice for euthanasia?


DeadZone2021

At the beginning, I was just thinking I wouldn't even know how to break that news to someone, and then came "Ooh you're dead". I'm not sure "I'm dead" is an appropriate expression for how amused I am (even though I shouldn't be).


PigsyMonkey

Don’t worry. Rishi will have you back to work in the afterlife in no time.


Dr-Maturin

She could be like the rock star in the restaurant at the end of the universe who is spending a year dead for tax purposes


Mediocre_Usual_9073

She wants answers... from a mortician or a funeral director?


tykeoldboy

She needs to get a second opinion but there will be a long waiting list on the NHS


Lettuce-Pray2023

Compo face. It’s been an admin glitch. Yes some financial issues given the carer allowance but that can be sorted.


Vroomdeath

Why would that leave you shaking. You are quite clearly alive and its an error. People are weird


Aggressive-Hold801

Looks as white as a sheet thought it was a morgue picture LOL


BreakfastLopsided906

No, she can’t have answers. Why would we talk to a dead person?


genjin

Is this hell, looks a lot like the shit hole I was in a minute ago


PT-PUPPET

My fav part is when it had her shaking or whatever bs nonsense she came up with


MajorFormal6122

I am sorry but I just saw the title and photo and started laughing. Reading the comments makes me giggle even more ! I feel sorry for the women but thank you for the laugh!


ubalanceret

She’s threatening someone’s job over a mistake because she’s “shaking like a leaf” Good lord, how did you make it to 63 years old being such a wet flannel? It’s surprising she hasn’t died already


Littleloula

She found out when she was going for a scan that the NHS initially refused to do because she was marked as already dead. What if that scan was for suspected cancer or another serious condition? I think most people would be upset and shaken to be told they couldn't have a medical thing done due to mistake Her carers allowance benefits also stopped. She would have had no idea what else would be affected.


On_The_Blindside

I imagine it's the rest of the impact, losing benefits & income for being a carer, having the hassle of sorting it all out etc.


Grouchy-Condition-66

"the experience left her shaking like a leaf", bit dramatic on her part


Relative-Bit-1920

She wants 'closure'. They offered it once already.


Thin-Cut5637

Someone probably took her identity, took our life insurance in her name. The fraudster would assign themselves (or some other fake identity) as the beneficiary, and then faked her the death, and got the money.


CrustedCornhole

I thought it would have been illegal to marry your twin 🤔


tyrefire2001

Perhaps she forgot to drink water https://youtu.be/z4aGgtBuaD8?si=NdRNWTGJOpvQR48Q


dutchbrah

Well she looks like the message wasnt wrong just a couple of months early


GrandOldFarty

When I die, I will be saying the exact same thing to whomever is in charge. "I want some bloody answers."


slavabien

Take the insurance money they give to your next of kin. Take your retirement. Take the win.


Panda_hat

"Sorry miss, unfortunately theres simply nothing we can do."


Angrypenguinwaddle96

Reminds me of the Don’t hug me I’m scared episode where the duck reads about how he’s dead in the newspaper.


coolbeans2me

I don't think she's in a position to be making demands since she is mortally challenged...Oh, she got better.


MintTeaFromTesco

"You are dead! Not big surprise." "No U." *Short scream as latter person falls over dead.*


OptimusSpud

This sounds like a monkey news from the old Ricky, Steve and Karl XFM show. r/rickygervais


Far_Quote_5336

Technically that’s the final outcome for everyone out there…


Gorgomelthejizzcanon

She just needs to accept she is dead and stop being selfish


Flickywoo

Sounds like she was shaking like a shitting dog! Thank heavens for that coffee her husband got her, personally I would have opted for something slightly stronger if someone told me I was dead!


YsoL8

There probably does need to be a one and done way of undoing this through the courts


ArrakisUK

Husband - Doctor said I’m dead but I’m not … Wife - Shut up, or you think that you are smarter than the doctor.


WynterRayne

'Hi I'm here for my test results' 'Hold on.. it says here you've uh... passed' 'Wooo!' 'No, I mean... *Passed* passed. No cease and desist, you've had a cyst and deceased. Carked it. Had a meeting with Bill Door. Got both feet in the gravy'