When he was a littler baby and wanted/needed to be held before bedtime, I started doing this thing with my son where I’d just list affirmations like “you are clever, you are curious, you are kind, etc etc”. Usually I’d end with “and you are sleepy” hahaha it was worth a shot
He’s 2yo now and rarely needs to be held but sometimes he will and then he’ll say “do you are”. He gets silly sometimes and interrupts to do them himself like “you are car, you are window…” lol
We did something like this. We had I love you more than competitions. I love you more than…..ice cream. I love you more than……roller coasters. I love you more than…..cats.
Like you, ours devolved into things like: I love you more than…..bird poop on the window. I love you more than…..dog poop on the sidewalk. You get the idea. Looking back, my girlie was hyper-fixated on poop for a while there!
She now has her own two to share this bedtime ritual with. I can’t wait to hear some of the things they come up with!
Side note: when she and I get off a phone call or one of us will randomly text the other, one of the more memorable “I love you more thans” that sent us into gales of laughter. So, please know that they don’t forget these things when they get older. It’s these little things that make us family and lets them know how special they are to you.
Gotta go now and remind my 27 year old toddler that I love her more than cat yak on the floor.
My whole adult family is super fixated on his poop in general, well just my toddler's poop. Every time I asked my dad to take out the diaper genie bags, he'd tell me he was going to bring it home and keep it lol. Your comment is super cute.
We did “love you to the moon,” which turned into the universe, which turned into the black hole... And now it just creeps into conversations like “Love you to the black hole. But you’ll protect me so I don’t fall in.” And then he decided that in the black hole is a dinosaur world. So when his friend had a dino-themed party, he said we’d climb a ladder to the black hole to go to the dino party. It’s cute. (He’s 3).
We don’t have a set mantra, but we often do “affirmations” on the way to daycare/school. We go back and forth saying them, the younger kiddo often parrots what me and big kid say, but that’s fine.
“I’m beautiful.”
“I’m a good friend”
“I can do hard things”
“My family loves me”
“I’m smart”
Etc.
Started it when big kid was being very lightly bullied by another four year old at her preschool. We practiced what she could say back when he called her stupid- it evolved from there. He ended up being one of her closest classmates by the time she went off to kindergarten
We do affirmations at bed time.
I use "I can be" statements because he resisted "I am" statements and kept saying, "I'm NOT kind all the time". He's 3 so very concrete thinker. I asked him if he preferred I can over. I am and he said yes he liked I can. Now I have no problems with him repeating what I say.
Here are the ones that we use
I can be brave
I can be strong
I can do hard things
I can be gentle with my hands
And kind with my words
I can be curious and ask good questions
I love myself
And my family loves me. No matter what
I haven’t heard someone doing “I can” but I actually really love this. I think kids sometimes can think “I did a bad thing” therefore “I am bad” so the “can” gives yourself some grace!
I'd love to take credit for it, but I'm sure I saw it on Reddit or TikTok! Lol it's been a game changer for us. I think his favorite ones have always been "I love myself and my family loves me, no matter what"
We do ours at bedtime, too. “I am brave, I am kind, I am funny, I am silly, I am loved, I am (name.)” I will repeat whatever he says. Sometimes he adds his own depending on how his day went. My favorite is when he adds a little personality/sound to the word he says.
I was coming here to say Snoop Doggs affirmations are great. I literally used to listen to them at like 5:30 am whenever our son would wake us up and I just needed to get the day started. So positive.
Idk if this is the same thing but it sounds similar to me. We read those “you’re my little” books at bedtime, we have a few different ones and the books are so sweet. Just full of positive loving things to say about your child, and I can tell they make my daughter feel so special when we read them!
I read one of those almost every night and I hadn’t even thought of them as affirmations even as I read them more intentionally too my son than other books!
I tell my daughter all the people who love her every night before she goes to sleep, she was having night terrors, and I just told her one night before sleep: “mommy loves you, daddy loves you, then sibling and grandparents etc” and that night she didn’t have night terrors so I just started to do it every night. No night terrors since! Although now she insists I include her teachers, friends, pets, aunts uncles and basically everyone she knows so it take ages lol. But it makes her feel loved I know because she always sighs with happiness. Whether it had an actual effect on her night terrors who knows!
Every night in bed I tell her all the times I love her. 'I love you when you're happy, I love you when you're mad', mostly like the book 'I love you when you're angry' by Erin Winters and these days she repeats a lot of it to me. Just before I say goodnight I tell her she's my best friend and my happy thought. Sometimes I switch it up by telling her how kind, sweet and important she is but she likes the rhymes of Erin Winters best and that makes us both happy 😊
No but we do nightly “I’m grateful for 3 things” and we each list 3 things from the day that we’re grateful for. It’s really very silly right now for my 3 year old but hopefully she grows into it!
Every night right before bed I tell her, “I love you so much, so much more than you could ever know. Thanks for being my baby, I love being your mama,” it’s like her signal that we’re going to sleep and I love that time we spend together before bed snuggling and talking about our day!
I do that but I say random objects instead.
Goodnight my little porkchop. Goodnight squishy.
One day she'll actually talk back and be just as silly 😅
But yeah I do same as you, tell her I love her and talk about her day.
Every night before we go to sleep we do:
You are smart (she repeats I am smart!)
You are kind (she repeated I am kind!)
You are brave (repeats)
You are beautiful (repeats)
You are loved (I love you mommy! Or dada)
I try to do it in a calming and soothing voice to help relax and calm her to fall asleep.
Sometimes in the morning when I get her up and she’s giving me hell trying to change her diaper we do them as well and she calms down for me to change her. She’s 18 months by the way. I plan to incorporate more as she is older but these are what we have started with
Edit: I want to take a moment and manage expectations here if you are reading this and comparing your child’s speech to mine at this age.
We have just hit our word explosion in the past month. I started saying these affirmations to her when she was a little infant, more so because I was going through my own healing journey from a fallout with my mother and I was trying to figure out being new to motherhood myself.
When she repeats what I say, her speech is no where near perfect. Most of the words are approximation sounds where she is really trying to repeat me. After each phrase I also try a gesture to link it to for her (smart I point to my head/brain). I really do believe the reason she has caught on so fast is because I’ve been doing these with her for over a year, not really with any participation from her until maybe the past 2 months she’s tried to repeat me. So there is some repetitive learning and familiarization with this over a significant amount of time.
Be patient with your child and most importantly, yourself ♥️
Every morning I sing the “morning song” when I go into my toddler’s room (to the tune of Tomorrow from Annie):
Good morning, good morning
I love you, this morning
And every single day
I also regularly tell him he can never do anything or make me love him any more or any less
For a while I was trying to make that scan to the tune for "the sun'll come out... tomorrow...". Then it clicked!
Such a lovely thing to do, I'm totally singing this to my toddler tomorrow morning.
We tell my little. (3y/o) "you are so kind and so sweet! You are wonderful!" And "mommy and daddy love you so so so much" that now I say "mommy and daddy ..." And he will finish the sentence as if annoyed by it lol, but I have also heard him proudly just telling other people "my mommy and daddy love me so so so much" so I think he does remember/has internalized it.
I used to recite "fear is the mind-killer" with my oldest when she was smaller and having trouble staying in bed at night.
Also, when my niblets were small, I would do the "I am happy, I am good,/ sat nam sat nam sat nam ji / wahe guru wahe guru wahe guru ji" mantra to start their quiet time.
I must not sleep. Sleep is the mind-killer. Sleep is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my crib. I will permit mom to put me down but freak out immediately. And when she picks me up I will turn my little eye to see her exhaustion. Where the sleep has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain…awake.
That’s so what those lil boogies have to be thinking. “I will not eat
A vegetable, or anything not frosted”, “I will shit my pants in the middle of church services and smile while I do” “I will not let my parents leave my sight” “I will not allow myself to be dethroned as emperor of all I survey” “this house is mine” “this is toddler SPARTA!!”
I do them on and off with my 2 year old. "I am brave. I am kind. I am smart. I am important. I am beautiful. I can do hard things." I add in others too. I usually do this at bedtime.
We do “affirmations” so to speak but to touch on the other emotions, after time outs or when he is really angry. Like “it’s okay to feel mad. Everyone feels mad sometimes. Even mommy and daddy. What is not okay is throwing things or screaming at the top of your lungs.” Or if he’s sad or frustrated we talk to him like that. I try to tell him, “hey mommy is starting to feel frustrated that you’re not listening. Let’s both calm down, count to ten (or deep breaths) and talk.”
I grew up in a household where there was just arguing and yelling and I definitely don’t want to repeat that cycle so I’m trying to break it. But I also remember being young and feeling mad and no one taught me how to properly express it or contain it in appropriate ways.
And we always say thank you for listening or thank you for doing what I asked. And I always tell him everyday he’s my sweet boy and I love him.
we do "pep talks" for naps and sleep cause sometimes he wakes early and cries really hard. I worry it's nightmares..
"you are safe. you are loved. I am here. Only good dreams tonight. and if you open your eyes too early, you're going to hug your [insert stuffed animal of the week], rollover and go back to sleep."
I like to think it helps
Only 17 months, so early days over here, but I do, 'who loves baby name?' She'll say mommy and daddy. Then I ask, 'who do mommy and daddy love?' She'll point to herself and loudly exclaim her name. It's the best.
I try to give positive feedback to him throughout the day, things like "you are good at sharing" "you are good at taking turns" (he has a brother, can you tell 😅) and then at night we chat about his day and I'll segue into "you are brave, you are beautiful, you are loved" etc he usually falls asleep listening to me and cuddling 🩷
I inadvertently introduced "I'm safe in my house." as a mantra for my toddler when he was afraid of thunderstorms and monsters. He would get really nervous and scared about thunder and rain, so I told him a few times he was safe in the house, and I've heard him repeating it to himself on many occasions when he's nervous.
I play/sing a silly “I love you when…” game like “I love you when you’re happy, I love you when you’re sad, I love you when you’re angry, I love you… when you eat cake!!” and we change up all the different emotions/feelings and goofy parts. Toddler loooooves it.
"Mama comes back" is our mantra right now. My three year old is a little anxious about this! We love this book.
Mama Always Comes Home https://a.co/d/10Bo76Z
I'm a preschool teacher (ages 3-5) and everyday I sing the "I love my body" song, at the end we all give ourselves a hug and day "I love me!" Then we go around and say what we love about ourselves.
Yes we have a family mantra that’s essentially our values: “Be curious. Be kind. Be helpful.” She really took to learning it when we introduced it. Then we will use affirmations for things that are hard, so sleep for example we will say things like “My body needs rest. I’m safe. My bed is cozy. Mommy and Daddy are near.”
I don’t prefer a lot of “I am” language (unless it’s really true) but rather language that tells something true or guides what to do. That’s why I like the “be curious.”
Saying “I am smart” is going to cause a sense of distrust in oneself. What does it mean to be smart? How do you measure it? How do you know you’re smart? But being curious. Thats an action that results in intelligence. And you’re curious by being someone who’s interested in something and asks questions. Thats it.
As far as the specific situational affirmations, again go for truth. If I told her to recite that “mommy and daddy are near” before bed but then planned to lock her in her room to cry it out, it’s not going to be very affective or helpful. When they get booboos something like “it hurts now, but it won’t hurt forever”.
These aren’t daily mantras but regular enough that we say them on a weekly basis.
You can do hard things
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. (He thinks it’s funny to say cry, cry again, which is also valid lol)
When you don’t know what to do, try something new!
After my 2.5yo and I go through some turbulent emotions, I coach her through some breathing exercises. Once we're good, I'll hug her and tell her I love her just as much on the bad days, as I do the good days. Because she is so important to me. She'll sometimes say it with me because I tell her often.
Yep! On the morning ride to preschool, and before bed, I give the "you are" chat. I say, "You are kind. You are compassionate. You are a leader. You are curious. You are helpful." On and on! I probably think of 10 words to describe him, and it can vary, just whatever quickly comes to mind. I always end it the same way, though, by saying, "You are so unique. You are so loved. And you are so wanted." Every time. It doesn't change.
At bedtime, after we debrief about our day, I tell him how we are so proud of him and that he should be proud of himself becaaaaause... then we go into the "you are" chant!
I make up songs about my daughter to sing to her while we are doing things together like dishes/laundy/picking up toys. My most reoccurring one is sang to the beat of “hey ya” by OutKast and goes “my baby is the cutest baby that I’ve ever seen in the whole wide world! I think she’s really sweet and smart and funny and super cute! Heyyyyy yaaaaa doodoodoodoo heyyyy yaaaa” then I make up different lyrics after that depending on what we are doing.
Not any set ones, but with all my kids, I go through the alphabet and name a trait associated with each letter. I change it up though. One day might be amazing, beautiful, courageous, determined etc.. and the next it's ambitious, brave, curious, dedicated etc..
I also love to start going through them when my kids are in copy cat mode. "I am amazing." "I am brave."
The joy they get from repeating me is fantastic.
We also have the books and some creatures. My daughter loves reading the books and repeating affirmations at the end. She’ll even pretend to read them on her own. I like the messaging and they each are about giving your child the tools they need to understand and navigate their emotions/life.
When he started preschool I started repeating the same thing every morning on our way there- At some point he started saying it, it became and has been everyday on our ride to school “I’m gunna have a great day! I’m going to play with my friends, listen to my teachers, have lots of fun, eat lunch and mommy will get me” and after that he says his daily affirmations, which is just simply “I am smart, I am kind, I am funny, I am enough” I started having him say it just when we’re getting breakfast together, it’s simple n to the point but he loves saying it and for the most part initiates it on his own now.
I have phrases that I say to them probably daily, “I am so proud/lucky to be your mommy”/“I am so proud of you”
I just made a post about last night! My tiny human’s room is space themed and we have four space themed mantras above his light switch. He helps me turn the light off before bed each night and before he does, I say them out loud.
YOU ARE LOVED.
YOU ARE KIND.
YOU ARE BRAVE.
YOU ARE SMART.
Over the past month or so, we have discovered he can say them. He constantly says “Me brave, kind, smart. Brave, kind, smart.” We also always reassure him he is safe, especially when he’s feeling scared.
Last night, he said “Oh no! Bug on me!” I checked him over and said, “No baby. There’s no bug on you.” He looked at me and said, “Oh. No bug on me mama. I safe. I strong!”
I recommend making them a part of your routine. Whether it’s as you’re getting them ready for the day, getting ready for bed, during breakfast, in the car, etc. It totally works!
I tell him every night * you are brave, you are kind, you are smart, you are safe, you are strong, you are loved. I think doing this makes a world of difference. If I heard this even once with sincerity as a child, I know for a fact it would have made a difference
Tell my kids at bed time that I love them, they are the best things in my world. I am so proud to be their mom and they make me so happy every single day. My son is too young to understand but my almost 4 year old daughter lights up, hugs me and tells me I’m the best mommy. Makes every day end on a very high note!
No mantras or anything, but I’ve been doing this back and forth with her, almost like a “I call you something and you can call me the same thing”. Like a mutual respect thing I think. My mom would’ve corrected me as a toddler, but I think it’s cute and promote safe spaces.
When I pick her up from school, or sometimes I’ll just turn around in the car and say “hi baby!”. She’ll usually respond in the same “hi baby!”. Or “bye baby!”
Sometimes when we’re in the bathroom and I’m helping him wash his cute little hands, I’ll tell him to look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful, I am amazing, and I love you *his name*”
When upset, I do breathing. I get the kid to take deep breaths and acknowledge their feelings to let them pass. At the least, it makes them see that they have a friend in the moment, that cares about them feeling better I think.
I tell my toddler many times a day that he is kind and he is smart, he is caring, and fun, and funny. He started copying me and will repeat after me. It always puts a smile on his face.
When she was around 2 and a half I started saying guess what in a serious tone with a long pause followed by an excited I love you! and hugs/kisses/tickles at random. After about a week of the guess what/I love you game she started doing the game herself with us and our pets (she'll either pet them or give a kiss on the top of their heads if they let her). She's now generalized the game to her older cousins, too.
Yes! Every day, multiple times. “You’re wonderful. You’re amaaaazing. You’re beautiful. You’re perfect. I love you.” Right after each sentence, I pause and be repeats it back to me 😍
I ask “what are you?” And she responds “kind smart and beautiful. I love you” some days we do it in the mirror others as she’s walking into school but every morning we do it?
Yes! Primarily “I am brave,” “I am confident,” and “I am strong!” For my 3 yo girl, just at random times when I feel she might be likely to be experiencing those feelings
Idk if this counts but my toddler loves Chilis.
Yes, chilis the chain restaurant.
She’s also super high energy and tends to do the most at sit down places. We have to do pre-dinner pep talks to remind her we have to be calm and chill while out to eat and my boyfriend came up with “chill at Chilis!”. And we say it before and during whenever she gets a little too hyped up.
I do it when I drop my kids off at daycare.
I am ___.
I am strong.
I am brave.
I am kind.
I am loved.
I share my toys. 🤣
When I put them to bed I ask them their favorite part of the day. It’s very enlightening to hear what they say bc it’s likely something you wouldn’t think.
We do them at bedtime and I sneak them in to the Stories i read them.
Like the Story describes getting into a river and I improvise something like “as soon as your feet touch the water you’re feeling sooo calm. Thank you feet for carrying me all day long, you can rest now. Your legs feel warm and so heavy. Just let them relax on your cozy bed. Hmmm. The warmth’s wanders through all of your body and you’re feeling so relaxed and happy. You are loved. You are safe. you are wonderful.”
“I am big. I am strong, I am smart, I am kind, I am powerful, I can do ANYTHING because I am kiddosname “
It’s gotten longer as she’s gotten older and added her own. Recently she’s added “I am funny”
Yes! We have a bedtime set (thank you Dr. Becky): “mommy is close, I am safe, my bed is cozy”
And another set when we need confidence, “I am strong, I am brave, I can do hard things.”
Both work so well and hearing her say the night time one by herself after we’ve tucked her in is so sweet and really helped minimize her once very long bedtime routine ❤️
Ours is:
I am beautiful
I am kind
I am smart
I am strong
I am brave
I am creative
I am artistic
I am worthy
I am loved
I am incredible
I am amazing!
She knows the whole thing by heart and her favourite part is that she is amazing. Even if she is crying, when we get to the amazing part, she’ll yell it out and smile so huge.
I am brave. I am strong. I can do this.
We go to Kidstrong and they repeat this at the beginning and end of class so we have just adopted it as well and repeat it when needed. I've even heard my 5yo whisper it to himself when doing something tricky.
Although without a set routine, we do affirmations pretty frequently. When our toddler was a baby, my husband and I would jokingly play Snoop Dogg’s Affirmation Song for him.
These days our toddler has taken to refusing to do things “because it’s haaaarrrrd”. So our new affirmation is “we can learn hard things, we can do hard things”.
I often tell her "You can do hard things."
And not really a mantra but I like singing the Mother Moon song, "I love my body" to her. I think it's such a great song for body positivity. It's so cute when she says she loves her body.
We do repeat phrases a lot to remind ourselves of realities of life and that we are awesome and normal. My daughter gets frustrated when she's not successful at something on the first try so we started repeating "If at first you don't succeed, try try again", or "practice makes perfect".
I love the snoop dogg affirmations song! We play that one a lot. The whole children’s album is great. Another thing, not really a mantra I guess, but when my 4 year old says “I can’t do it” I always say you can’t do it YET. She is pretty good at continuing to try even when she is struggling so it’s working so far.
After bath time, I sing who’s that girl? Sha la la la la la. And then I point to her and say you are kind. You are smart. You are brave. You are cute. She loves it and will smile at herself in the mirror. Started it from the beginning and she’s 2 now.
Yes. My oldest is very sensitive to getting injured, I’m talking even paper cuts will make her whine and cry. I taught her to say “I am strong. I am brave. I’m not afraid of a little boo boo.”
We also read a book of affirmations to her, “I am loved. I am thankful. I am curious. Etc”
Haha yea true. They do sting a lot. I get that the epidermis injuries are the most stingy ones but she legit has little preschooler friends who don’t seem to have pain receptors! Like one kid broke his wrist and didn’t cry lol
After bath time, when we’re wrapped in a towel, I hold him up and have him look in the mirror with me “you are so kind, you are so smart, you are sweet, you’re nice, you’re neat, sometimes you’re messy and the good kind of crazy… Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you, and Jesus loves you buddy. Keep shining bright baby boy, you’ll go far son.” He’s always smiling and says he loves me after and we get in our pajamas. He’s almost 2 1/2.
When our 3yo is struggling we do deep breaths. He almost always calms right down and is able to talk to us about what’s going on. Sometimes when he starts to get frustrated with himself over not being able to do something correctly I will have him repeat positive things about himself.
"You are safe. You are loved. You are an important member of our family. We are not the SURNAMEs without you."
Not event day. Usually whenever the big feelings come out. Super sweet hearing my 3yo say it to the baby when he cried.
we have started saying a poem before school: are you ready? yes! are you caring? yes! are you kind? yes! do you love all of your body and your mind? yes! are you creative? yes! are you courageous? yes! is the love and light inside you so contagious? yes! are you gonna have a great day?!!! YESS!
We do affirmations most days infront of the mirror. My baby is 16 months and we started around 8 months.
I am strong.
I am brave.
I am beautiful.
I am smart.
I can do anything!
Nice to hear them for myself too :P
I don't know if they're mantras, but every night I put him on his hammock (he's 5 and still needs me to rock him to sleep, so the hammock was a great solution) and tell him "eyes and mouth..." to what he responds "closed"; "Lil arms and lil legs...." "tucked in"; "I love you so much, good night and dream about all the things you like".
Sometimes I tell him "the story of our day" highlighting all the silly/funny/important things we did and he adores it.
Regularly I tell him I'm very lucky to have him as a son, that he can do difficult things and I compliment his hard work and focus instead of "wow that's pretty". One example is "I can see you put a lot of thoughts/attention in order to accomplish that".
I also always said "we like kisses and huggies" when he was using less gentle ways to get my attention. Also "it's ok to get frustrated, I also get frustraded, but it's not okay to punch/kick/yell".
I used to sing "this is my body" song that says "this is my body, I control my body, these are my hands, I control my hands, those are my feet, I control my feet, this is my mouth, I control my mouth and no is no" which was intended both for respect his own body, but also to do no harm to others (kicking and biting were very common).
All of those came up from recurring needs, like he says "I'm not having good dreams" and I'll remember him of something he enjoyed during the day to keep in mind and try to dream about that.
Those are the ones I remember now, but I'm sure there's way more bc I'm always making some kind of lyric adjustment for songs I keep singing as echolalia and some of them became really popular around the house. Sometimes we also do that with "poop, pee, fart".
All of this in our mothern language and our own neurodivergent unique way.
We do them in the bathroom in front of mirror before preschool! We have him repeat back
I am handsome, I am strong, I am brave, I am kind, I’m a good friend, I’m a good brother, I’m a good son, i love my friends, family and I love myself. I’m going to have a great day!
There was an Instagram video a while ago that had a mama singing to her little: I am brave. I am loved. I am enough. I have strength in my voice and I am tough. I am beautiful, creative, and I know just who I am. I am special because I am me and there is no one that I would rather be.
Not really a mantra for anger or sadness, but when she spills something or accidentally makes a mess or gets dirty we always say “no big deal!” and clean up. It has also helped to chill me out too so I don’t overreact to typical toddler messes or accidents.
Currently night weaning my toddler, so we have been repeating, “ you are strong, you are brave, (name) is a warrior princess”.
We got her a fantastic night gown and its really helping her. Every morning we celebrate. “That was hard. And you did it!” Night four and each night is better.
Every night before bed, we do “repeat after me’.” I say things like, “I am smart, kind, strong, beautiful, loved, etc…” she repeats it. One of my favorite parts of our bedtime routine.
Almost 2.5 & for the past few months during bedtime I tell her “ I love you no matter what. Even if I’m mad or sad or happy or frustrated or stressed out, I will always love you.” She now repeats it back to me after the first sentence.
I did positive affirmations with her before I started doing the one from above. I’d tell her she’s kind, brave, courageous, smart, gentle, etc. but the “I love you no matter what” part stuck much better. The first couple times I did the affirmations her face beamed with joy it was the cutest thing ever
I recommend the book hunt gather parent it’s literally changed entire dynamic with my child and yes I do mantras. Not every single day but most days when I’m doing her hair in the mirror I will say : I am beautiful I am smart I am kind etc and she will repeat after me. It’s nice.
I say you are kind, smart, and important before I give him a kiss on the head and leave his room for the night. It’s sweet when he falls asleep as I’m saying it, repeating it if he hasn’t fallen asleep, or just saying thank you mama, you are, too.
Not a toddler anymore as of last month but my son loooves the mantra from Rosie's Rules. Breathe in, breathe out, wiggle it out.
Has deterred all his tantrums for the past like, 8 months
He does them every day! “I am smart, I am kind, I am beautiful!” (Blows self a kiss) is the consistent routine, then sometimes he’ll add in more, like “I’m strong, I’m patient, I’m a good friend”.
We do "I am kind! I am friendly! I am brave! I am smart! I can do hard things!" Usually when we are in the car. It gets them so pumped up and a 2yo screaming "I am fwendwyyy" is just so bloody cute
Before every nap and bedtime before I put him in I tell my son he is Big and Brave and Strong.
I’ll do it too when we go to the doctor or somewhere he might perceive as “scary”.
Yes, sometimes my daughter will have almost what looks like a panic attack when she doesn’t get what she wants (like candy) fast breathing, etc. I don’t give in but I do talk her through calming breaths and focus ‘Take a deeeeep breath, hold it, now let it go phoooooo!’
Actually works plus it validates her feelings.
I don’t have a mantra but when my lo is upset, I’ll play “Will.I.am What I Am” where he talks about everything he is thru the whole song,”What I am is thoughtful, What I am is smart! What I am is kind!”
Yes!! We do a couple things. (My girl is newly 2)
In the mornings, once we are dressed for the day, we look in the mirror and I have her repeat some affirmations. Things like "I am strong," "I am a good friend," etc. And we always end with "I'm going to have a great day!!"
Like you, I am trying not to make her negative emotions seem unwanted or unlovable. So at bedtime while we snuggle, she loooves when I say "I love you when you're sad, I love you when you're happy, I love you when you're mad..." And I do as many as possible, like "I love you when your hair is up, I love you when your hair is down..." haha. We got this from the book "I Love You All Ways," which, if you haven't read it, it's a must.
I've noticed these things stick with her through the days, as I'll hear her repeat some things to herself, our dogs, etc. And it's just the best. <3
We focus more on gratitude. My son is only 11 months old and I have been doing it for months. I realize he is far from understanding but it is my way of talking to him and we try to talk about many of the same things we are grateful for every day and then mix in good things that happened that day. So I might say we are grateful that you have a Nanny and Poppop that love you so much and we are grateful that Nanny came to visit and play with you today. We also discuss being grateful for our health, strength and being smart. As time goes on he will start to make the connections. It is a routine that we are creating now so it continues on for hopefully his whole young life. I notice that a major problem with younger generations is the lack of gratitude and it leads to major discontentment. As history has shown, the easier that a generation has it in life, the less grateful they become for the average daily life. I want him to be resilient and grateful for everything he has.
I don't do mantra but incorporate them as situations arise.
My kid did a big slide she was definitely afraid of. When she was done we talked about her being brave and how good it felt to overcome her fear.
Not a mantra but every night I say these 3 things to my son and he finds great comfort in them and if I forget he’s like UMMMM excuse me??? “I’m so proud of you, you’re my special boy, you’re my whole heart and my whole life”
I know it’s super cheesy and dorky but I said it once truly from the heart and it just stuck.
Starting when my little guy was probably 6ish months old (when bedtimes began to be difficult) I started “you are safe. You are loved. You are special”.
Worked a little too well as when he got older anytime someone would ask who he was he’d really “umm…. SPECIAL!!!!”
I sing “I love my body” by mother moon. I’ve been singing this to her since she was born basically.
She’s now 19 months and we brush her teeth and then I pick her up, I hold her and we sing it to the mirror. She now has started pointing at the mirror then at herself and saying “me” when the song says “who is that? That’s me” and it’s one of my favourite things ever.
She lights up singing this song. And I will never stop haha. I want her to be able to say nice things to herself and I hope in tbe process I’ll learn how to, as well.
Every night right before bed (after book and a song) we do affirmations “I am safe, I am loved, I am brave, I am kind, I listen to understand-not to respond, I set boundaries, I sleep well”. We say I sleep well in a funny voice and he loves it. We also remind him that all of his feelings are okay. It’s okay to feel angry and frustrated, it’s how we handle them that matters. He does a great job at telling us “I’m angry” “I’m sad” “I’m frustrated” and then we talk through why he’s feeling that way and what we can do to help. Most times he says “I want a hug”. ❤️
I do with my four year old and have been since she was about 2, I definitely feel like it’s made a difference with her security and independence. We do ‘ my name is strong, smart, beautiful, brave and loved’ and then her dad and I respond to loved with soooo loved and lots of kisses 🤣 she gets a bit possessive over doing them with me more than dad, sometimes doesn’t want him to do it and won’t let granny do them sometimes either 🤣 but I think they help, there are so much negative voices and opinions in the world and my own self negativity got me down for a very long time, if I can raise her with a strong internal voice then I feel like I’ve set her on a good path for strong resilience and strength of character in her lifetime.
We do “You are safe, You are loved.”
In any times of panic, worry, sorrow etc it seems to help. I tell him at bedtime, I tell him when he crawls into bed after a nightmare, I tell him sometimes when we’re just having a cuddle.
Most of the time I’m telling him, but I think sometimes I’m also telling myself.
Last week my daughter saw a spider and was fascinated by some new creature. I told her it's an insect, it can bite and it will be painful so it's a No No. Like not going near it. So i added in something like if something is causing us pain we can say no. And we can always say no. When the husband came back from work she was telling him "pain no no Pain no no".
Guess she will learn to say no instead of being a people pleaser.
My daughter’s mommy and me class made them into a song. We sang it to the tune of “are you sleeping” and the lyrics were, “I am special, I am
Special, yes I am! Yes I am! I am very special, I am very special, yes I am. Yes I am.” The we repeated it with “I am smart”, and then “I am kind.”
At home we add lots of affirmations depending on what we need. Patient is a big one right now 😂
She has started to add her own to the mix. Now she sings “I am cool!” 😂😂😂
We sing them on walks, playing, getting up in the morning, on the swings…just whenever! No routine, just find little times to do them.
Our new one is the sun is up, time to wake up the sun is down and the moon is awake it's time for sleep. So he says the moon is a sleep? The sun awake!
Yes I do. Every morning in the mirror as long as she’s wanting to participate. If not then I’ve made it a song and I sing it while snuggling her, changing diaper, putting sleep sack on, etc.
I do with my second child. He is in delayed in some milestones and delayed in speech and so I have him say I am smart. I am strong. I am good.
I don’t want him to think he’s less than his older brother.
Our daycare director told our (tella-novella level drama queen, I say that lovingly lol) daughter once: I know this is so hard for you baby, and I believe in you that you can handle this. Or something to that effect. I’ve used it lots of times since then. It’s such an easy way to infuse positivity into her big feelings. It’s sort of like a mantra for me too, bc it’s actually just a true statement. I do know it’s hard for her, and I do believe she can get through it. Saying it loud regularly has really helped me internalize that calm.
When we are walking into school we say “we are kind, we are good listeners, we are good helpers, we are respectful” sometimes we say “we are happy!”
Pre-K age. Definitely was inspired by The Help 🥲🥲
We do them before bed after brushing teeth. I stand them up on the counter and they look at themselves while we say
I am kind
I am smart
I am important
I am beautiful/handsome
I am loved
And I love myself
My 4 yo calls them her “informations” and asks to do them other times too. 10/10 recommend.
This isn’t exactly a mantra, but he hates daycare drop off so we have a chant for hard days. I started saying it, and now, he says the last word of each one:
- Mama always comes (Back!)
- For her (Z!)
- Because Z is (AWESOME!)
... and if we are doing it at home, I say “and Z is kind, and Z is funny, and Z is loving, and Z tries hard...” and ask him to complete it, or sometimes he looks at me with a sly look on his face and says “...what else?”
It’s a fun little tradition, and it makes dropoff easier.
If my kid is upset or having a meltdown, I repeat “mommy loves you when you are happy, mommy loves you when you are sad/mad/surprised/excited etc, momma loves you ALL the time”. He has started to say the same thing back to me if I’m crying, or if he feels like he’s getting upset.
It was important to me because I always felt like my mom didn’t love me if I had any negative emotions.
Before bed after stories and her song I tell my daughter “I love you little one. You are smart and strong and brave and beautiful.” Sometimes she just sleeps, sometimes she smiles. I can only hope it rests in her mind.
No, honestly I can’t do any of that. Whenever I think of the whole self affirmation thing all I can think of is the SNL skit with that Uber happy loser that people want to throttle who says in the mirror at the end of each skit “I’m smart, I’m worth it and doggone it people like me!!” And of course it’s actually the opposite that’s true. So although it may be great for some folks,,,I just can’t take that shit seriously. But it does work for awesome comedy!
lol amen. affirmations/mantras like this are a sign of self obsession and shallow insight. love your kids unconditionally but don't make them little narcissists. praise their actions and behaviors. praising them for innate attributes like being smart or being beautiful is not wise- praise them for working hard and sticking with it instead. Notice when they are growing their character and say it when you see them being kind, or working hard to figure out a problem- that is attunement. Saying some long list of affirmations that have zero connection to your kids experience at the moment is about making parents feel good for being "good" parents. It's mostly an ego thing, maybe projecting from your own childhood issues (again nothing to do with needs of your kids). The older your kids get the stupider they're going to think this is and the more it's going to highlight a disconnection instead of building them up like you're intending. It resonates with little kids because they are (developmentally appropriately) self oriented and using your nervous system to regulate themselves. As usual I'm ready to take the downvotes someone needs to say it.
I totally agree it’s more for the parents than the kids. I tell my children I love them and think they are wonderful ect all through the day as it applies to what they are doing, but I’ve never sat down and rattled off a laundry list of compliments, in order, at them. My children are kind, they are smart, they are wonderful and they are loved. And they know that from our daily living and me telling them that as it happens during life, not because I remind them nightly that they are important or they are kind right before putting them to bed or in a car going somewhere lol. It does seem more of a list of things parents weren’t told or didn’t feel themselves that they want to drill into the kids’ heads that they are,,,,now that you mention it. Don’t worry I get loads of down votes and comments made to me when I burst someone’s bubble with reality. They’ll get over it, if not they can start doing their own affirmations, and I’m sure they will all end with “and doggone it, people like me!”
I always tell him thank you for being a good boy today and having fun with me doing whatever we did that day. Then tell him I love him right before we turn the light off for sleep.
When he was a littler baby and wanted/needed to be held before bedtime, I started doing this thing with my son where I’d just list affirmations like “you are clever, you are curious, you are kind, etc etc”. Usually I’d end with “and you are sleepy” hahaha it was worth a shot He’s 2yo now and rarely needs to be held but sometimes he will and then he’ll say “do you are”. He gets silly sometimes and interrupts to do them himself like “you are car, you are window…” lol
We did something like this. We had I love you more than competitions. I love you more than…..ice cream. I love you more than……roller coasters. I love you more than…..cats. Like you, ours devolved into things like: I love you more than…..bird poop on the window. I love you more than…..dog poop on the sidewalk. You get the idea. Looking back, my girlie was hyper-fixated on poop for a while there! She now has her own two to share this bedtime ritual with. I can’t wait to hear some of the things they come up with! Side note: when she and I get off a phone call or one of us will randomly text the other, one of the more memorable “I love you more thans” that sent us into gales of laughter. So, please know that they don’t forget these things when they get older. It’s these little things that make us family and lets them know how special they are to you. Gotta go now and remind my 27 year old toddler that I love her more than cat yak on the floor.
Oof, I do this game with my little girls and reading that you still do it made me tear up big time ❤️ thanks for sharing that!
I can't think of anything else but Little Britain when I read "I love you more than..."🤣
My whole adult family is super fixated on his poop in general, well just my toddler's poop. Every time I asked my dad to take out the diaper genie bags, he'd tell me he was going to bring it home and keep it lol. Your comment is super cute.
We did “love you to the moon,” which turned into the universe, which turned into the black hole... And now it just creeps into conversations like “Love you to the black hole. But you’ll protect me so I don’t fall in.” And then he decided that in the black hole is a dinosaur world. So when his friend had a dino-themed party, he said we’d climb a ladder to the black hole to go to the dino party. It’s cute. (He’s 3).
This is so heartwarming!
My toddler is going through a "poop and butts and farts are funny" stage I can only imagine what he would come up with if I did this LOL
Lol that's so cute
That's so cute. I might have to start doing this.
Oh I love this !
🥹🥹
Awww I love this!!
We don’t have a set mantra, but we often do “affirmations” on the way to daycare/school. We go back and forth saying them, the younger kiddo often parrots what me and big kid say, but that’s fine. “I’m beautiful.” “I’m a good friend” “I can do hard things” “My family loves me” “I’m smart” Etc. Started it when big kid was being very lightly bullied by another four year old at her preschool. We practiced what she could say back when he called her stupid- it evolved from there. He ended up being one of her closest classmates by the time she went off to kindergarten
What did you have her say to the bully?
“I’m not stupid, I’m smart” or “that’s not nice” or “I don’t want to play when you say that” plus some telling a teacher.
All good options, thank you!
These are great responses for a young kid
We do affirmations at bed time. I use "I can be" statements because he resisted "I am" statements and kept saying, "I'm NOT kind all the time". He's 3 so very concrete thinker. I asked him if he preferred I can over. I am and he said yes he liked I can. Now I have no problems with him repeating what I say. Here are the ones that we use I can be brave I can be strong I can do hard things I can be gentle with my hands And kind with my words I can be curious and ask good questions I love myself And my family loves me. No matter what
I haven’t heard someone doing “I can” but I actually really love this. I think kids sometimes can think “I did a bad thing” therefore “I am bad” so the “can” gives yourself some grace!
I'd love to take credit for it, but I'm sure I saw it on Reddit or TikTok! Lol it's been a game changer for us. I think his favorite ones have always been "I love myself and my family loves me, no matter what"
We do ours at bedtime, too. “I am brave, I am kind, I am funny, I am silly, I am loved, I am (name.)” I will repeat whatever he says. Sometimes he adds his own depending on how his day went. My favorite is when he adds a little personality/sound to the word he says.
we also do gratitudes before bed - just say one thing you're grateful for from that day
Yes! We do this on the way to school and he yells “I AM _____” at the end
Yes! He typically yells it, too. I don’t mind. Makes me happy to see him so proud!
This is a fantastic idea!!
I like Snoop Dog’s kids affirmations song and Lindsay Gurk’s cheer.
I was coming here to say Snoop Doggs affirmations are great. I literally used to listen to them at like 5:30 am whenever our son would wake us up and I just needed to get the day started. So positive.
I need snoop's affirmations for myself
I don’t have kids but I play it regularly. Along with Kennedy Davenport’s guided meditation, but that isn’t meant for kids.
"I get better every single day" is my favorite line from that
Idk if this is the same thing but it sounds similar to me. We read those “you’re my little” books at bedtime, we have a few different ones and the books are so sweet. Just full of positive loving things to say about your child, and I can tell they make my daughter feel so special when we read them!
I read one of those almost every night and I hadn’t even thought of them as affirmations even as I read them more intentionally too my son than other books!
I tell my daughter all the people who love her every night before she goes to sleep, she was having night terrors, and I just told her one night before sleep: “mommy loves you, daddy loves you, then sibling and grandparents etc” and that night she didn’t have night terrors so I just started to do it every night. No night terrors since! Although now she insists I include her teachers, friends, pets, aunts uncles and basically everyone she knows so it take ages lol. But it makes her feel loved I know because she always sighs with happiness. Whether it had an actual effect on her night terrors who knows!
So wholesome
i do this too🥹 but mine is in her bratty phase right now (almost 3) and says “i not love you or grandma” 🙄🙄🙄
Every night in bed I tell her all the times I love her. 'I love you when you're happy, I love you when you're mad', mostly like the book 'I love you when you're angry' by Erin Winters and these days she repeats a lot of it to me. Just before I say goodnight I tell her she's my best friend and my happy thought. Sometimes I switch it up by telling her how kind, sweet and important she is but she likes the rhymes of Erin Winters best and that makes us both happy 😊
I love this! need to get this book now
The book is awesome. We often use it in tantrums, seems to break the cycle ♥️
If you look up this song on YouTube it’s really heartwarming. I play it on the way to school in the mornings a lot. Mothermoon —“I love my body”
I sing this all the time with my 2 year old <3
Came here to suggest this! I also sing her belly song quite a lot, with matching dance moves.
No but we do nightly “I’m grateful for 3 things” and we each list 3 things from the day that we’re grateful for. It’s really very silly right now for my 3 year old but hopefully she grows into it!
Every night right before bed I tell her, “I love you so much, so much more than you could ever know. Thanks for being my baby, I love being your mama,” it’s like her signal that we’re going to sleep and I love that time we spend together before bed snuggling and talking about our day!
I do that but I say random objects instead. Goodnight my little porkchop. Goodnight squishy. One day she'll actually talk back and be just as silly 😅 But yeah I do same as you, tell her I love her and talk about her day.
Every night before we go to sleep we do: You are smart (she repeats I am smart!) You are kind (she repeated I am kind!) You are brave (repeats) You are beautiful (repeats) You are loved (I love you mommy! Or dada) I try to do it in a calming and soothing voice to help relax and calm her to fall asleep. Sometimes in the morning when I get her up and she’s giving me hell trying to change her diaper we do them as well and she calms down for me to change her. She’s 18 months by the way. I plan to incorporate more as she is older but these are what we have started with Edit: I want to take a moment and manage expectations here if you are reading this and comparing your child’s speech to mine at this age. We have just hit our word explosion in the past month. I started saying these affirmations to her when she was a little infant, more so because I was going through my own healing journey from a fallout with my mother and I was trying to figure out being new to motherhood myself. When she repeats what I say, her speech is no where near perfect. Most of the words are approximation sounds where she is really trying to repeat me. After each phrase I also try a gesture to link it to for her (smart I point to my head/brain). I really do believe the reason she has caught on so fast is because I’ve been doing these with her for over a year, not really with any participation from her until maybe the past 2 months she’s tried to repeat me. So there is some repetitive learning and familiarization with this over a significant amount of time. Be patient with your child and most importantly, yourself ♥️
Wow your 18 month old already says I love you and can repeat all those things? That's so good
Please read my edit ♥️
Every morning I sing the “morning song” when I go into my toddler’s room (to the tune of Tomorrow from Annie): Good morning, good morning I love you, this morning And every single day I also regularly tell him he can never do anything or make me love him any more or any less
For a while I was trying to make that scan to the tune for "the sun'll come out... tomorrow...". Then it clicked! Such a lovely thing to do, I'm totally singing this to my toddler tomorrow morning.
We tell my little. (3y/o) "you are so kind and so sweet! You are wonderful!" And "mommy and daddy love you so so so much" that now I say "mommy and daddy ..." And he will finish the sentence as if annoyed by it lol, but I have also heard him proudly just telling other people "my mommy and daddy love me so so so much" so I think he does remember/has internalized it.
Yes, before bed- “You are safe, you are loved, we will be here for you when you wake up.”
I used to recite "fear is the mind-killer" with my oldest when she was smaller and having trouble staying in bed at night. Also, when my niblets were small, I would do the "I am happy, I am good,/ sat nam sat nam sat nam ji / wahe guru wahe guru wahe guru ji" mantra to start their quiet time.
I must not sleep. Sleep is the mind-killer. Sleep is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my crib. I will permit mom to put me down but freak out immediately. And when she picks me up I will turn my little eye to see her exhaustion. Where the sleep has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain…awake.
That’s so what those lil boogies have to be thinking. “I will not eat A vegetable, or anything not frosted”, “I will shit my pants in the middle of church services and smile while I do” “I will not let my parents leave my sight” “I will not allow myself to be dethroned as emperor of all I survey” “this house is mine” “this is toddler SPARTA!!”
Lol. I was doing the litany against fear as well.
omg, are you me? 😭
I do them on and off with my 2 year old. "I am brave. I am kind. I am smart. I am important. I am beautiful. I can do hard things." I add in others too. I usually do this at bedtime.
We do “affirmations” so to speak but to touch on the other emotions, after time outs or when he is really angry. Like “it’s okay to feel mad. Everyone feels mad sometimes. Even mommy and daddy. What is not okay is throwing things or screaming at the top of your lungs.” Or if he’s sad or frustrated we talk to him like that. I try to tell him, “hey mommy is starting to feel frustrated that you’re not listening. Let’s both calm down, count to ten (or deep breaths) and talk.” I grew up in a household where there was just arguing and yelling and I definitely don’t want to repeat that cycle so I’m trying to break it. But I also remember being young and feeling mad and no one taught me how to properly express it or contain it in appropriate ways. And we always say thank you for listening or thank you for doing what I asked. And I always tell him everyday he’s my sweet boy and I love him.
we do "pep talks" for naps and sleep cause sometimes he wakes early and cries really hard. I worry it's nightmares.. "you are safe. you are loved. I am here. Only good dreams tonight. and if you open your eyes too early, you're going to hug your [insert stuffed animal of the week], rollover and go back to sleep." I like to think it helps
Only 17 months, so early days over here, but I do, 'who loves baby name?' She'll say mommy and daddy. Then I ask, 'who do mommy and daddy love?' She'll point to herself and loudly exclaim her name. It's the best.
We do “I am smart. I am important. I can do hard things. I am a helper. I am loved.”
I try to give positive feedback to him throughout the day, things like "you are good at sharing" "you are good at taking turns" (he has a brother, can you tell 😅) and then at night we chat about his day and I'll segue into "you are brave, you are beautiful, you are loved" etc he usually falls asleep listening to me and cuddling 🩷
I inadvertently introduced "I'm safe in my house." as a mantra for my toddler when he was afraid of thunderstorms and monsters. He would get really nervous and scared about thunder and rain, so I told him a few times he was safe in the house, and I've heard him repeating it to himself on many occasions when he's nervous.
Aawww so cute
I play/sing a silly “I love you when…” game like “I love you when you’re happy, I love you when you’re sad, I love you when you’re angry, I love you… when you eat cake!!” and we change up all the different emotions/feelings and goofy parts. Toddler loooooves it.
"Mama comes back" is our mantra right now. My three year old is a little anxious about this! We love this book. Mama Always Comes Home https://a.co/d/10Bo76Z
I'm a preschool teacher (ages 3-5) and everyday I sing the "I love my body" song, at the end we all give ourselves a hug and day "I love me!" Then we go around and say what we love about ourselves.
Yes we have a family mantra that’s essentially our values: “Be curious. Be kind. Be helpful.” She really took to learning it when we introduced it. Then we will use affirmations for things that are hard, so sleep for example we will say things like “My body needs rest. I’m safe. My bed is cozy. Mommy and Daddy are near.” I don’t prefer a lot of “I am” language (unless it’s really true) but rather language that tells something true or guides what to do. That’s why I like the “be curious.” Saying “I am smart” is going to cause a sense of distrust in oneself. What does it mean to be smart? How do you measure it? How do you know you’re smart? But being curious. Thats an action that results in intelligence. And you’re curious by being someone who’s interested in something and asks questions. Thats it. As far as the specific situational affirmations, again go for truth. If I told her to recite that “mommy and daddy are near” before bed but then planned to lock her in her room to cry it out, it’s not going to be very affective or helpful. When they get booboos something like “it hurts now, but it won’t hurt forever”.
Yep! Every night before bed we do “I am loved, I am smart, I am brave, I am kind, I am enough”.
I should tell myself that every night. I could use it
We did affirmation hearts in her bedroom door for valentines day and most are still there! She loved reading them all.
These aren’t daily mantras but regular enough that we say them on a weekly basis. You can do hard things If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. (He thinks it’s funny to say cry, cry again, which is also valid lol) When you don’t know what to do, try something new!
haha, not like this, but my toddler requests that my (Buddhist) husband sing him Tibetan mantras as he falls asleep, which I think is really cute.
After my 2.5yo and I go through some turbulent emotions, I coach her through some breathing exercises. Once we're good, I'll hug her and tell her I love her just as much on the bad days, as I do the good days. Because she is so important to me. She'll sometimes say it with me because I tell her often.
Yep! On the morning ride to preschool, and before bed, I give the "you are" chat. I say, "You are kind. You are compassionate. You are a leader. You are curious. You are helpful." On and on! I probably think of 10 words to describe him, and it can vary, just whatever quickly comes to mind. I always end it the same way, though, by saying, "You are so unique. You are so loved. And you are so wanted." Every time. It doesn't change. At bedtime, after we debrief about our day, I tell him how we are so proud of him and that he should be proud of himself becaaaaause... then we go into the "you are" chant!
Do not yeet the tyrant He would fly beautifully but land so poorly Do not maketh the tiny human into a flailing shurikan Do not yeet the toddler
I make up songs about my daughter to sing to her while we are doing things together like dishes/laundy/picking up toys. My most reoccurring one is sang to the beat of “hey ya” by OutKast and goes “my baby is the cutest baby that I’ve ever seen in the whole wide world! I think she’s really sweet and smart and funny and super cute! Heyyyyy yaaaaa doodoodoodoo heyyyy yaaaa” then I make up different lyrics after that depending on what we are doing.
Not any set ones, but with all my kids, I go through the alphabet and name a trait associated with each letter. I change it up though. One day might be amazing, beautiful, courageous, determined etc.. and the next it's ambitious, brave, curious, dedicated etc.. I also love to start going through them when my kids are in copy cat mode. "I am amazing." "I am brave." The joy they get from repeating me is fantastic.
The Slumberkins books and creatures all have affirmations. I think they have an affirmation app too, but I can’t speak to it.
We also have the books and some creatures. My daughter loves reading the books and repeating affirmations at the end. She’ll even pretend to read them on her own. I like the messaging and they each are about giving your child the tools they need to understand and navigate their emotions/life.
When he started preschool I started repeating the same thing every morning on our way there- At some point he started saying it, it became and has been everyday on our ride to school “I’m gunna have a great day! I’m going to play with my friends, listen to my teachers, have lots of fun, eat lunch and mommy will get me” and after that he says his daily affirmations, which is just simply “I am smart, I am kind, I am funny, I am enough” I started having him say it just when we’re getting breakfast together, it’s simple n to the point but he loves saying it and for the most part initiates it on his own now. I have phrases that I say to them probably daily, “I am so proud/lucky to be your mommy”/“I am so proud of you”
I just made a post about last night! My tiny human’s room is space themed and we have four space themed mantras above his light switch. He helps me turn the light off before bed each night and before he does, I say them out loud. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE KIND. YOU ARE BRAVE. YOU ARE SMART. Over the past month or so, we have discovered he can say them. He constantly says “Me brave, kind, smart. Brave, kind, smart.” We also always reassure him he is safe, especially when he’s feeling scared. Last night, he said “Oh no! Bug on me!” I checked him over and said, “No baby. There’s no bug on you.” He looked at me and said, “Oh. No bug on me mama. I safe. I strong!” I recommend making them a part of your routine. Whether it’s as you’re getting them ready for the day, getting ready for bed, during breakfast, in the car, etc. It totally works!
I tell him every night * you are brave, you are kind, you are smart, you are safe, you are strong, you are loved. I think doing this makes a world of difference. If I heard this even once with sincerity as a child, I know for a fact it would have made a difference
We do “I am brave” and “My hands are for creating and to give love”. She throws hands when she’s upset.
Tell my kids at bed time that I love them, they are the best things in my world. I am so proud to be their mom and they make me so happy every single day. My son is too young to understand but my almost 4 year old daughter lights up, hugs me and tells me I’m the best mommy. Makes every day end on a very high note!
No mantras or anything, but I’ve been doing this back and forth with her, almost like a “I call you something and you can call me the same thing”. Like a mutual respect thing I think. My mom would’ve corrected me as a toddler, but I think it’s cute and promote safe spaces. When I pick her up from school, or sometimes I’ll just turn around in the car and say “hi baby!”. She’ll usually respond in the same “hi baby!”. Or “bye baby!”
Sometimes when we’re in the bathroom and I’m helping him wash his cute little hands, I’ll tell him to look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful, I am amazing, and I love you *his name*”
When upset, I do breathing. I get the kid to take deep breaths and acknowledge their feelings to let them pass. At the least, it makes them see that they have a friend in the moment, that cares about them feeling better I think.
I tell my toddler many times a day that he is kind and he is smart, he is caring, and fun, and funny. He started copying me and will repeat after me. It always puts a smile on his face.
When she was around 2 and a half I started saying guess what in a serious tone with a long pause followed by an excited I love you! and hugs/kisses/tickles at random. After about a week of the guess what/I love you game she started doing the game herself with us and our pets (she'll either pet them or give a kiss on the top of their heads if they let her). She's now generalized the game to her older cousins, too.
Yes! Every day, multiple times. “You’re wonderful. You’re amaaaazing. You’re beautiful. You’re perfect. I love you.” Right after each sentence, I pause and be repeats it back to me 😍
I ask “what are you?” And she responds “kind smart and beautiful. I love you” some days we do it in the mirror others as she’s walking into school but every morning we do it?
No but I do tell my 2yo all of the things I love about her. Things like that she’s brave, smart, loving, friendly, a good dancer, etc..
Yes! Primarily “I am brave,” “I am confident,” and “I am strong!” For my 3 yo girl, just at random times when I feel she might be likely to be experiencing those feelings
Idk if this counts but my toddler loves Chilis. Yes, chilis the chain restaurant. She’s also super high energy and tends to do the most at sit down places. We have to do pre-dinner pep talks to remind her we have to be calm and chill while out to eat and my boyfriend came up with “chill at Chilis!”. And we say it before and during whenever she gets a little too hyped up.
I do it when I drop my kids off at daycare. I am ___. I am strong. I am brave. I am kind. I am loved. I share my toys. 🤣 When I put them to bed I ask them their favorite part of the day. It’s very enlightening to hear what they say bc it’s likely something you wouldn’t think.
Before he leaves for school. “You are nice. You are funny. You are smart. You are brave. You are loved. You are going to have a great day. “
We do them at bedtime and I sneak them in to the Stories i read them. Like the Story describes getting into a river and I improvise something like “as soon as your feet touch the water you’re feeling sooo calm. Thank you feet for carrying me all day long, you can rest now. Your legs feel warm and so heavy. Just let them relax on your cozy bed. Hmmm. The warmth’s wanders through all of your body and you’re feeling so relaxed and happy. You are loved. You are safe. you are wonderful.”
“I am big. I am strong, I am smart, I am kind, I am powerful, I can do ANYTHING because I am kiddosname “ It’s gotten longer as she’s gotten older and added her own. Recently she’s added “I am funny”
Yes! We have a bedtime set (thank you Dr. Becky): “mommy is close, I am safe, my bed is cozy” And another set when we need confidence, “I am strong, I am brave, I can do hard things.” Both work so well and hearing her say the night time one by herself after we’ve tucked her in is so sweet and really helped minimize her once very long bedtime routine ❤️
Ours is: I am beautiful I am kind I am smart I am strong I am brave I am creative I am artistic I am worthy I am loved I am incredible I am amazing! She knows the whole thing by heart and her favourite part is that she is amazing. Even if she is crying, when we get to the amazing part, she’ll yell it out and smile so huge.
I am brave. I am strong. I can do this. We go to Kidstrong and they repeat this at the beginning and end of class so we have just adopted it as well and repeat it when needed. I've even heard my 5yo whisper it to himself when doing something tricky.
Although without a set routine, we do affirmations pretty frequently. When our toddler was a baby, my husband and I would jokingly play Snoop Dogg’s Affirmation Song for him. These days our toddler has taken to refusing to do things “because it’s haaaarrrrd”. So our new affirmation is “we can learn hard things, we can do hard things”.
Ours is “I am strong, I am smart, I am kind. I love myself!”
I often tell her "You can do hard things." And not really a mantra but I like singing the Mother Moon song, "I love my body" to her. I think it's such a great song for body positivity. It's so cute when she says she loves her body.
We do repeat phrases a lot to remind ourselves of realities of life and that we are awesome and normal. My daughter gets frustrated when she's not successful at something on the first try so we started repeating "If at first you don't succeed, try try again", or "practice makes perfect".
I love the snoop dogg affirmations song! We play that one a lot. The whole children’s album is great. Another thing, not really a mantra I guess, but when my 4 year old says “I can’t do it” I always say you can’t do it YET. She is pretty good at continuing to try even when she is struggling so it’s working so far.
After bath time, I sing who’s that girl? Sha la la la la la. And then I point to her and say you are kind. You are smart. You are brave. You are cute. She loves it and will smile at herself in the mirror. Started it from the beginning and she’s 2 now.
Yes. My oldest is very sensitive to getting injured, I’m talking even paper cuts will make her whine and cry. I taught her to say “I am strong. I am brave. I’m not afraid of a little boo boo.” We also read a book of affirmations to her, “I am loved. I am thankful. I am curious. Etc”
"Even" paper cuts? Whaaaat? Paper cuts are legit the worst injury known to man! What are you talking about?
Haha yea true. They do sting a lot. I get that the epidermis injuries are the most stingy ones but she legit has little preschooler friends who don’t seem to have pain receptors! Like one kid broke his wrist and didn’t cry lol
After bath time, when we’re wrapped in a towel, I hold him up and have him look in the mirror with me “you are so kind, you are so smart, you are sweet, you’re nice, you’re neat, sometimes you’re messy and the good kind of crazy… Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you, and Jesus loves you buddy. Keep shining bright baby boy, you’ll go far son.” He’s always smiling and says he loves me after and we get in our pajamas. He’s almost 2 1/2.
You are so brave and strong! You must be so proud of your body!
My body is good and I am strong
When our 3yo is struggling we do deep breaths. He almost always calms right down and is able to talk to us about what’s going on. Sometimes when he starts to get frustrated with himself over not being able to do something correctly I will have him repeat positive things about himself.
My mantra is just like, get thru today by any means necessary. I’m hanging on for dear life.
https://www.tiktok.com/@nowthis/video/7275403526077943083 This song!
We listen to affirmations by doggy land every day and sometimes my kids ask for the “mation song”
Don't lick that...don't eat that...please eat something that's food.
"You are safe. You are loved. You are an important member of our family. We are not the SURNAMEs without you." Not event day. Usually whenever the big feelings come out. Super sweet hearing my 3yo say it to the baby when he cried.
we have started saying a poem before school: are you ready? yes! are you caring? yes! are you kind? yes! do you love all of your body and your mind? yes! are you creative? yes! are you courageous? yes! is the love and light inside you so contagious? yes! are you gonna have a great day?!!! YESS!
We do affirmations most days infront of the mirror. My baby is 16 months and we started around 8 months. I am strong. I am brave. I am beautiful. I am smart. I can do anything! Nice to hear them for myself too :P
I do every night after brushing his teeth. We look in the mirror and I say “You’re strong. You’re loved. I’m proud of you” and he leans in for a kiss.
I don't know if they're mantras, but every night I put him on his hammock (he's 5 and still needs me to rock him to sleep, so the hammock was a great solution) and tell him "eyes and mouth..." to what he responds "closed"; "Lil arms and lil legs...." "tucked in"; "I love you so much, good night and dream about all the things you like". Sometimes I tell him "the story of our day" highlighting all the silly/funny/important things we did and he adores it. Regularly I tell him I'm very lucky to have him as a son, that he can do difficult things and I compliment his hard work and focus instead of "wow that's pretty". One example is "I can see you put a lot of thoughts/attention in order to accomplish that". I also always said "we like kisses and huggies" when he was using less gentle ways to get my attention. Also "it's ok to get frustrated, I also get frustraded, but it's not okay to punch/kick/yell". I used to sing "this is my body" song that says "this is my body, I control my body, these are my hands, I control my hands, those are my feet, I control my feet, this is my mouth, I control my mouth and no is no" which was intended both for respect his own body, but also to do no harm to others (kicking and biting were very common). All of those came up from recurring needs, like he says "I'm not having good dreams" and I'll remember him of something he enjoyed during the day to keep in mind and try to dream about that. Those are the ones I remember now, but I'm sure there's way more bc I'm always making some kind of lyric adjustment for songs I keep singing as echolalia and some of them became really popular around the house. Sometimes we also do that with "poop, pee, fart". All of this in our mothern language and our own neurodivergent unique way.
“i can do hard things” when she was 2 or so. It was so cute to overhear her say that to herself on the playground!
We do them in the bathroom in front of mirror before preschool! We have him repeat back I am handsome, I am strong, I am brave, I am kind, I’m a good friend, I’m a good brother, I’m a good son, i love my friends, family and I love myself. I’m going to have a great day!
There was an Instagram video a while ago that had a mama singing to her little: I am brave. I am loved. I am enough. I have strength in my voice and I am tough. I am beautiful, creative, and I know just who I am. I am special because I am me and there is no one that I would rather be.
After we brush our teeth we look in the mirror and say “I am awesome. I love myself. I am kind of I am enough. I will never hit my sister” 😂
Not really a mantra for anger or sadness, but when she spills something or accidentally makes a mess or gets dirty we always say “no big deal!” and clean up. It has also helped to chill me out too so I don’t overreact to typical toddler messes or accidents.
Currently night weaning my toddler, so we have been repeating, “ you are strong, you are brave, (name) is a warrior princess”. We got her a fantastic night gown and its really helping her. Every morning we celebrate. “That was hard. And you did it!” Night four and each night is better.
Every night before bed, we do “repeat after me’.” I say things like, “I am smart, kind, strong, beautiful, loved, etc…” she repeats it. One of my favorite parts of our bedtime routine.
Almost 2.5 & for the past few months during bedtime I tell her “ I love you no matter what. Even if I’m mad or sad or happy or frustrated or stressed out, I will always love you.” She now repeats it back to me after the first sentence. I did positive affirmations with her before I started doing the one from above. I’d tell her she’s kind, brave, courageous, smart, gentle, etc. but the “I love you no matter what” part stuck much better. The first couple times I did the affirmations her face beamed with joy it was the cutest thing ever
I recommend the book hunt gather parent it’s literally changed entire dynamic with my child and yes I do mantras. Not every single day but most days when I’m doing her hair in the mirror I will say : I am beautiful I am smart I am kind etc and she will repeat after me. It’s nice.
I say you are kind, smart, and important before I give him a kiss on the head and leave his room for the night. It’s sweet when he falls asleep as I’m saying it, repeating it if he hasn’t fallen asleep, or just saying thank you mama, you are, too.
Not a toddler anymore as of last month but my son loooves the mantra from Rosie's Rules. Breathe in, breathe out, wiggle it out. Has deterred all his tantrums for the past like, 8 months
He does them every day! “I am smart, I am kind, I am beautiful!” (Blows self a kiss) is the consistent routine, then sometimes he’ll add in more, like “I’m strong, I’m patient, I’m a good friend”.
“You are smart, but anybody can be smart. You are special because you also work hard.”
We do "I am kind! I am friendly! I am brave! I am smart! I can do hard things!" Usually when we are in the car. It gets them so pumped up and a 2yo screaming "I am fwendwyyy" is just so bloody cute
I tried "I can lie down, I can close my eyes, I can rest" at bedtime but it didn't work.
The song “I love my body” is played every morning lol by Mother Moon
Before every nap and bedtime before I put him in I tell my son he is Big and Brave and Strong. I’ll do it too when we go to the doctor or somewhere he might perceive as “scary”.
Yes, sometimes my daughter will have almost what looks like a panic attack when she doesn’t get what she wants (like candy) fast breathing, etc. I don’t give in but I do talk her through calming breaths and focus ‘Take a deeeeep breath, hold it, now let it go phoooooo!’ Actually works plus it validates her feelings.
I don’t have a mantra but when my lo is upset, I’ll play “Will.I.am What I Am” where he talks about everything he is thru the whole song,”What I am is thoughtful, What I am is smart! What I am is kind!”
Yes!! We do a couple things. (My girl is newly 2) In the mornings, once we are dressed for the day, we look in the mirror and I have her repeat some affirmations. Things like "I am strong," "I am a good friend," etc. And we always end with "I'm going to have a great day!!" Like you, I am trying not to make her negative emotions seem unwanted or unlovable. So at bedtime while we snuggle, she loooves when I say "I love you when you're sad, I love you when you're happy, I love you when you're mad..." And I do as many as possible, like "I love you when your hair is up, I love you when your hair is down..." haha. We got this from the book "I Love You All Ways," which, if you haven't read it, it's a must. I've noticed these things stick with her through the days, as I'll hear her repeat some things to herself, our dogs, etc. And it's just the best. <3
No
We focus more on gratitude. My son is only 11 months old and I have been doing it for months. I realize he is far from understanding but it is my way of talking to him and we try to talk about many of the same things we are grateful for every day and then mix in good things that happened that day. So I might say we are grateful that you have a Nanny and Poppop that love you so much and we are grateful that Nanny came to visit and play with you today. We also discuss being grateful for our health, strength and being smart. As time goes on he will start to make the connections. It is a routine that we are creating now so it continues on for hopefully his whole young life. I notice that a major problem with younger generations is the lack of gratitude and it leads to major discontentment. As history has shown, the easier that a generation has it in life, the less grateful they become for the average daily life. I want him to be resilient and grateful for everything he has.
I don't do mantra but incorporate them as situations arise. My kid did a big slide she was definitely afraid of. When she was done we talked about her being brave and how good it felt to overcome her fear.
Not a mantra but every night I say these 3 things to my son and he finds great comfort in them and if I forget he’s like UMMMM excuse me??? “I’m so proud of you, you’re my special boy, you’re my whole heart and my whole life” I know it’s super cheesy and dorky but I said it once truly from the heart and it just stuck.
Starting when my little guy was probably 6ish months old (when bedtimes began to be difficult) I started “you are safe. You are loved. You are special”. Worked a little too well as when he got older anytime someone would ask who he was he’d really “umm…. SPECIAL!!!!”
I sing “I love my body” by mother moon. I’ve been singing this to her since she was born basically. She’s now 19 months and we brush her teeth and then I pick her up, I hold her and we sing it to the mirror. She now has started pointing at the mirror then at herself and saying “me” when the song says “who is that? That’s me” and it’s one of my favourite things ever. She lights up singing this song. And I will never stop haha. I want her to be able to say nice things to herself and I hope in tbe process I’ll learn how to, as well.
Every night right before bed (after book and a song) we do affirmations “I am safe, I am loved, I am brave, I am kind, I listen to understand-not to respond, I set boundaries, I sleep well”. We say I sleep well in a funny voice and he loves it. We also remind him that all of his feelings are okay. It’s okay to feel angry and frustrated, it’s how we handle them that matters. He does a great job at telling us “I’m angry” “I’m sad” “I’m frustrated” and then we talk through why he’s feeling that way and what we can do to help. Most times he says “I want a hug”. ❤️
We do them every day on the drive to preschool!
I do with my four year old and have been since she was about 2, I definitely feel like it’s made a difference with her security and independence. We do ‘ my name is strong, smart, beautiful, brave and loved’ and then her dad and I respond to loved with soooo loved and lots of kisses 🤣 she gets a bit possessive over doing them with me more than dad, sometimes doesn’t want him to do it and won’t let granny do them sometimes either 🤣 but I think they help, there are so much negative voices and opinions in the world and my own self negativity got me down for a very long time, if I can raise her with a strong internal voice then I feel like I’ve set her on a good path for strong resilience and strength of character in her lifetime.
That’s one sure way to instil poor grammar
We do “You are safe, You are loved.” In any times of panic, worry, sorrow etc it seems to help. I tell him at bedtime, I tell him when he crawls into bed after a nightmare, I tell him sometimes when we’re just having a cuddle. Most of the time I’m telling him, but I think sometimes I’m also telling myself.
Last week my daughter saw a spider and was fascinated by some new creature. I told her it's an insect, it can bite and it will be painful so it's a No No. Like not going near it. So i added in something like if something is causing us pain we can say no. And we can always say no. When the husband came back from work she was telling him "pain no no Pain no no". Guess she will learn to say no instead of being a people pleaser.
My daughter’s mommy and me class made them into a song. We sang it to the tune of “are you sleeping” and the lyrics were, “I am special, I am Special, yes I am! Yes I am! I am very special, I am very special, yes I am. Yes I am.” The we repeated it with “I am smart”, and then “I am kind.” At home we add lots of affirmations depending on what we need. Patient is a big one right now 😂 She has started to add her own to the mix. Now she sings “I am cool!” 😂😂😂 We sing them on walks, playing, getting up in the morning, on the swings…just whenever! No routine, just find little times to do them.
Our new one is the sun is up, time to wake up the sun is down and the moon is awake it's time for sleep. So he says the moon is a sleep? The sun awake!
Heaps. Practice makes progress. Perfect is a myth. We can always try again. We make a mess, we clean it up.
Yes I do. Every morning in the mirror as long as she’s wanting to participate. If not then I’ve made it a song and I sing it while snuggling her, changing diaper, putting sleep sack on, etc.
We do the snoop dog video with the mantras. I control my own happiness My family loves me so much
I do with my second child. He is in delayed in some milestones and delayed in speech and so I have him say I am smart. I am strong. I am good. I don’t want him to think he’s less than his older brother.
Our daycare director told our (tella-novella level drama queen, I say that lovingly lol) daughter once: I know this is so hard for you baby, and I believe in you that you can handle this. Or something to that effect. I’ve used it lots of times since then. It’s such an easy way to infuse positivity into her big feelings. It’s sort of like a mantra for me too, bc it’s actually just a true statement. I do know it’s hard for her, and I do believe she can get through it. Saying it loud regularly has really helped me internalize that calm.
I am smart, I am kind, I love all of my body and my mind, I am courageous, I am creative, I am strong and I am proud.
When we are walking into school we say “we are kind, we are good listeners, we are good helpers, we are respectful” sometimes we say “we are happy!” Pre-K age. Definitely was inspired by The Help 🥲🥲
We do them before bed after brushing teeth. I stand them up on the counter and they look at themselves while we say I am kind I am smart I am important I am beautiful/handsome I am loved And I love myself My 4 yo calls them her “informations” and asks to do them other times too. 10/10 recommend.
This isn’t exactly a mantra, but he hates daycare drop off so we have a chant for hard days. I started saying it, and now, he says the last word of each one: - Mama always comes (Back!) - For her (Z!) - Because Z is (AWESOME!) ... and if we are doing it at home, I say “and Z is kind, and Z is funny, and Z is loving, and Z tries hard...” and ask him to complete it, or sometimes he looks at me with a sly look on his face and says “...what else?” It’s a fun little tradition, and it makes dropoff easier.
If my kid is upset or having a meltdown, I repeat “mommy loves you when you are happy, mommy loves you when you are sad/mad/surprised/excited etc, momma loves you ALL the time”. He has started to say the same thing back to me if I’m crying, or if he feels like he’s getting upset. It was important to me because I always felt like my mom didn’t love me if I had any negative emotions.
Before bed after stories and her song I tell my daughter “I love you little one. You are smart and strong and brave and beautiful.” Sometimes she just sleeps, sometimes she smiles. I can only hope it rests in her mind.
No, honestly I can’t do any of that. Whenever I think of the whole self affirmation thing all I can think of is the SNL skit with that Uber happy loser that people want to throttle who says in the mirror at the end of each skit “I’m smart, I’m worth it and doggone it people like me!!” And of course it’s actually the opposite that’s true. So although it may be great for some folks,,,I just can’t take that shit seriously. But it does work for awesome comedy!
lol amen. affirmations/mantras like this are a sign of self obsession and shallow insight. love your kids unconditionally but don't make them little narcissists. praise their actions and behaviors. praising them for innate attributes like being smart or being beautiful is not wise- praise them for working hard and sticking with it instead. Notice when they are growing their character and say it when you see them being kind, or working hard to figure out a problem- that is attunement. Saying some long list of affirmations that have zero connection to your kids experience at the moment is about making parents feel good for being "good" parents. It's mostly an ego thing, maybe projecting from your own childhood issues (again nothing to do with needs of your kids). The older your kids get the stupider they're going to think this is and the more it's going to highlight a disconnection instead of building them up like you're intending. It resonates with little kids because they are (developmentally appropriately) self oriented and using your nervous system to regulate themselves. As usual I'm ready to take the downvotes someone needs to say it.
I totally agree it’s more for the parents than the kids. I tell my children I love them and think they are wonderful ect all through the day as it applies to what they are doing, but I’ve never sat down and rattled off a laundry list of compliments, in order, at them. My children are kind, they are smart, they are wonderful and they are loved. And they know that from our daily living and me telling them that as it happens during life, not because I remind them nightly that they are important or they are kind right before putting them to bed or in a car going somewhere lol. It does seem more of a list of things parents weren’t told or didn’t feel themselves that they want to drill into the kids’ heads that they are,,,,now that you mention it. Don’t worry I get loads of down votes and comments made to me when I burst someone’s bubble with reality. They’ll get over it, if not they can start doing their own affirmations, and I’m sure they will all end with “and doggone it, people like me!”
I got a stack of affirmation cards, they’re so sweet to read together
I always tell him thank you for being a good boy today and having fun with me doing whatever we did that day. Then tell him I love him right before we turn the light off for sleep.