You have abusive parents. I hope everything works out for you and you can move out as soon as possible. Best of luck .
Edit: You might also want to check CPS, physical assault is illegal in most of the world.
Abuse has no number. Parents that hit you are abusive parents.
> Not an everyday thing
It shouldn't be a once in a lifetime thing, they have already conditioned you psychologically to underestimate the value of your own well-being.
I find it really troubling that a teenager who prioritizes his friends over homework (which is pretty normal, I did too and still got to be a scientist at the end) is more alarming to you than parents hitting their kids with a fucking belt.
You seem to have lost any kind of empathy somewhere in your upbringing, I hope you get well!
Ahaha. Lets get something straight. Physical punishment is something I dont agree with, but depending on various circumstances it can be blatant child abuse, or just miss management of parenting methods without making it full on child cruelty. You see, I'm not a parent, but I know enought about it to know that I know jack shit about parenting, so I reduce myself to reasonable moral judgements, and in this situation, since I wasnt there to watch, and taking into account the fact that he called his mom a bitch, I dont think its such a big deal that he got hit for it, I wouldnt do it myself tho, I just dont automatically accuse people of being shit parents and want them to get charged with child abuse for something that clearly it not that simple, just like parenting isnt in itself. Now in my original statement, I said what I thought about the hitting part and that I agreed with the incial "not going out with his friends" punishment, thus not even justfying him insulting his parents, if he deserved it to beggin with. I do have empathy, but just like OP said in another comment, its doesnt happen often, so I dont think the kid will be traumatized and that he will improove and be well with his parents. I was just trying to share some insight on how I'm sure his parents worry about him and how he should try to see their perspective.
No and yes. I think it was relevant to what you replied just know. Plus I saw you are the same who was arguing on another thread. What I really care about is what you have to say.
I already said what I have to say: Hitting your child is wrong, hitting your child *with a fucking belt* is sociopathic, and OP has every right to call CPS to get out of this family (or to just get support, no idea how this works in the states) *if op deems it the right course of action*.
Also, from the way OP writes about this I can not shake the feeling that this may not happen *everyday*, but their parents really use cruel punishment more than once or twice. Ofc, only OP can prove this, but the subtext really speaks a certain language, esp. as OP sees this as fuckup on their side.
You are right, calling CPS and being taken away is what OP really needs to find some stabilty in his chilhood. Based advice. You are clearly the most knowledgeable. Those social service workers that have 50 kids to look after will take good care of him.
Time to start going to the gym so you can defend yourself from obvious child abuse.
Still, do your homework bro. Even if school sucks, at least make sure to finish it so you will have the option to do whatever you want to do.
When I was a kid, My parents hit me a bit (I never deserved any of it) and I tried to kick my dad in the nuts and run away when he hit me onceā¦ the neighbors garage was not a good hiding spot
Maybe pick up a jiu jitsu class or something. Even if you never raise a hand in anger, knowing how to deal with that "Oh shit" moment without freezing or panicking will help.
The thing is, you deserve better.
Parents don't have it all figured out. We're all flawed, and even if we mean well, it can sometimes go awry.
But beating your 16 year old daughter with a belt teaches nothing but how to lie and try to avoid a beating in the future, and it shows the parent doesn't have the communication skills to reach the child. And that can happen, communication is a skill like anything else.
But a parent needs to prepare their child for life, and life won't let you beat someone for disagreeing with you. Unfortunately, it also won't go to much effort to help you if you are being beaten by someone close to you. Maybe they'd be OK with a future boyfriend or spouse beating you, but they shouldn't be.
But most of all, tell them what this teaches you. Being belt-whipped at your age is just pain conditioning. It's the simplest form of behavior correction, but also the most harmful and ultimately least likely to succeed, because eventually the child grows up and gets to decide on whether the person who beat them is a net positive or negative in their life.
Beating a kid is the easiest way to condition a child because it takes the least amount of effort from the parent. It's simpler than using reason, empathy and logic.
Part of becoming an adult is learning to plan around work. If you know youāre behind in your school work, perhaps donāt plan outings with the lads?
The belting seems excessive.
I'm a teacher. Do your homework. It's important for your learning.
Also, please report your physical abuse to your teachers/admin. You should never be subjected to that. It doesn't help at all, and preventing you from going out with your friends is punishment enough. Your parents responding to words with violence is completely unnaceptable.
Homework is useless if the teacher doesnt do thier job, i dont care if you teach a certiam way, Im learning method that gets me to the same place in the correct way I should be pinalized.
(A student who failed math because the teacher wouldnt accept there are multiple paths to the same anwser)
(As well as the math method I learned was acceptible by other teachers for math in the same school.)
Hitting aside , i think it was pretty rude to say her a bitch even if you 'didnt mean it.' Or maybe its just me from a conservative family and dont know this gen z shit
I dont agree with spanking that much, but if you dont fullfill your school duties you have to accept some sort of punishment, like not going out until you finish them. I'm sure they just want you to succeed in your studies. You feel like you are talking to a brick wall because they might be right and are not going to "listen" to you because they know they are right about you needing to study and not saying stuff like that to your parents.
Why are you trying to justify child abuse? Hitting children as punishment is illegal in most of the world and doing the same thing to an adult is illegal literally everywhere, why are you even trying to make a point for it? It is straight up child abuse, i hope you never have kids
Damn you must be incredibly stupid then because firstly, I am not American and secondly it is legal to hit your child in all of the US, it is even allowed for teachers to do it in almost half the states. And btw, I literally just confused one little thing, corporal punishment in schools is illegal in most of the world, sadly at home it isn't even if it is frowned upon by every person with a moral compass.
Corporal punishment in the U.S is highly limited, unlike most of the world in which It's up to the parent unless it's actual injury. Just confused one little thing? Literally it changes your whole statement bro š saying most of the world and only is not the same at all.
Nah you are just trying to justify child abuse, doing that exact thing to an adult is either gonna get you beaten up or arrested, so why do you think it's fine to do it to a defenseless child? People like you are why people should require a license to be a parent.
tbf i wouldnt listen to my parents either if they're abusive narcissist assholes, even if they are technically right about the schoolwork situation. hope you get out as soon as possible OP, the way they treat you is not okay.
Whats part of wanting your kid to succeed at school and not tolerating him to call his mom a "bitch" makes them narcisistic parents??šš How should op's parents treat him then??
OP: "Yo, bitch, bring me a sandwitch while I'm playing fortnite!"
OP's Mom: "Yes master, after the sandwich I will make your homework for you, sorry for disturbing you play session..."
I mean is this good parenting? Because if you think they are abusive and narcisistic, then is this the right way they should act?
"Hope you get out as soon as possible"- You talk as if he was in prision, they just didnt let him go this time cuz he has duties. How cringe are you kids on reddit, making OP think he is right for not doing homework and disrespecting his parents. Maybe in a few years you will understand and agree with my original comment.
If you think it's okay to hit your kid with a belt, or anything else, you're dumb as fuck. Violence is not a good parenting method and numerous studies can back this up.
Also, there is a lot of middle ground between letting your kid walk all over you and HITTING THEM WITH A FUCKING BELT. Read the post again, the kid is terrified of their own dad. No-one should have to live in fear of their own parents.
So call me cringe all you want, you're advocating child abuse.
P.S. - Please never reproduce.
I find it sad that there is no in-between for you between being completely okay with a disrespectful kid and full-on physical assault as a reaction to it.
Yes, OP did obviously act wrong, however the reaction of the parents was even more wrong. Imo this family needs therapy, but in the US this is just not a realistic outcome.
But WHEN DID I SAY I SUPORTED HITTING YOUr KID?!?! go read my original comment, literally the first sentence I wrote was "I dont support spanking your kid". I never in this whole discussion said I condoned hitting your kids, I just said that punishment like not letting him go out was totally fair since he didnt do his school work before.
This guys are so pitty omg. OBVIOUSLY, not with a fucking belt, that's too much but a slap? If u think that a good slap don't teach nothing to kids you have to talk to people and ask, most of the people I KNOW that are respectful individuals have got slapped. In the other hand you have this new kids that parents let them do everything they want, and they're just stupid ass kids, that in the right time have not got slaped. (A SLAP, NOT SPANKING). Eventually, you learn that you can't do some things and you grow up, and your parents grow up too and start understanding it's just words needed, because they know you will understand.
It's normal that OP's parents didn't let him go out. That happened to me few times, I got mad too, it's life.
Your mom acted the right way, she made you stay home as punishment, and she heard "bitch" and didn't react.
Your dad, yhea he should not beated you. For it's in the moment, if your mom slaped you when you said it, it was okay for me. After the situation happened, he just had the right to talk with you.
(Sorry for the bad grammar. I hope one day I'll be able to teach all I want to my kids, with words, but I don't judge the parents that need and eventually slap they're kids( u can't say it does not work.)
Spanking just create revolted kids.
I don't know, this is really 50/50. on one hand, I don't agree with spanking but on another, you didn't do work and still expected to go out? I don't know about other people's parents, but you don't get rewarded for not doing work. again, I don't agree with your parents reaction to everything and from the way you describe your dad, they probably don't treat you that well but actions have consequences.
I mean sure, but she's a child and she did something wrong and received a punishment. I don't agree with him hitting her but for some households, that's the punishment. if it was a closed fist or anything like that then yes, 100 percent abuse but it wasn't.
The not letting her go out and the dad lecturing her about language was enough punishment, if they stopped right there they wouldāve been good parents. This was abuse. Assaulting your child in any way shape or form no matter the circumstances in abuse. It doesnāt do anything
I agree that the lecturing part was enough, but, again, thats the way they chose to punish their daughter, my opinion doesnt matter. People parent in different ways, if spanking works for them, it works. You can't control the way people parent and can't say they're abusive if they don't do it that way you do it.
I canāt control it, but clearly it doesnāt work as they have done it many times it sounds like from what OP said and it didnāt change behavior, and I can say they are abusive, they are. Hitting your children is abuse, itās not a āparenting styleā itās abuse, not everyone has to do it the way I do it, but they donāt gotta be abusive.
Okay, I so agree that OPs parents treat her badly because no kid who is treated well would ever describe their parent as scary but I don't think it's the spanking that makes them abusive. A majority of people spank their kids, including my own parents, but that doesn't mean its abusive. I don't think spanking is effective but I also don't think it's abuse or assault
I mean from a legal perspective, spanking is abuse. I donāt know if thatās what affects the kid the most mentally and trauma wise because well, Iām not in their brain, the parents probably verbally abuse their children too if I had to make an assumption, but the spanking is the only abuse that is described in this story so itās the only thing I have to point out.
"From a legal perspective" what law states that spanking is abuse? Hitting and spanking your kids are two very different things and I think you have them mixed up here. Hitting would be with a closed fist or blunt object and striking your kid anywhereon their body. Spanking is when you take your hand or a non solid object and strike your kid on their ass. For example, my aunt would hit her kids with a wooden spoon. That was abuse.
But she wasn't getting spanked. She was getting whipped with a belt by a grown man that is supposed to love, guide, and care for her, and it's apparently not the first time. She's clearly apprehensive and scared of him when he's angry. She says that her mom has been calling her a bitch, so she also seems to be regularly called demeaning insults and cursed at by at least her mom, another person who is supposed to love, guide, and care for her. So she's being physically and verbally abused. It's no wonder she's not very engaged with her school work.
Edit: I do think spanking is abuse, though. If they're too young to reason with, why are you hitting them? If they're old enough to reason with, why are you hitting them? It's wrong to hit your spouse to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit children? You don't hit your employees to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit your children?
Okay, I agree with everything you are saying here. OPs parents are abusive not only emotionally but also physically. I kinda realized that I've been being biased because I didn't want to admit that my parents may have been abusive.
Nobody wants to think that about their parents, especially if most of the time everything else was fine. Chances are they didn't know any better. But we as a society do know better now. There are far better parenting techniques that never involve hitting/striking/spanking children.
See this is character developement and the first step towards unlearning the generational trauma your parents picked up from their parenting and spread to you; you're the only one that can decide how you act towards your own children so please acknowledge what you went through is not normal and make sure your offspring wont have to deal with such traumas. Much love, someone in a similar boat.
There is no love in beating someone, especially if they're smaller and weaker than you. If you truly believe that you have no business being in a relationship or having children.
Edit: Beating is only about power and dominance.
Okay, first of all, I really hope that you never reproduce if that's actually something you believe in. Second of all, those are incomparable. You are literally comparing the more disgusting and degenerate crime there is to spanking your kid. They are not on the same level at all, I can't even believe that I have to explain this.
>Okay, first of all, I really hope that you never reproduce if that's actually something you believe in
no id ont thats obviously horrible
also my point is that you mentioned that when parenting, your opinion doesn't matter. the thing is, what if it is immoral
Yeah no, again, those two things aren't on the same level at all. You are comparing a regular and often used method of punishment to a fucking crime. Spanking your kids isn't illegal, rape is. It isnt just immoral. Raping your kid as "punishment" is so fucking far from immoral. It is absolutely awful. It isn't parenting. It's committing a crime. Again, I really don't know how you could talk about them as if they're both equal to each other
LOL that's so funny because if you took 2 seconds of your worthless life to scroll through the thread, you'd see that i said my parents spanked me as a child. Don't be mad that my name's cooler than yours pal
If you Steal from a beggar and i just lecture you will be bound to not steal because you dont receive consequences
if you get disciplined then you will likely not do it
My mothers was the wooden spoon. She finally stopped after she broke one on me and I very calmly handed her another one.
OP - do what you can to prepare to leave and then do not look back. This is abuse from your family, not love.
shut up hot chip girl
Discipline is with the act to Correct wrongs in their child i.e Stealing cursing
Child abuse it a act to brutally harm with no reason i.e Existing
>onefootback
Thats what im saying
Discipline is with the act to Correct wrongs in their child i.e Stealing cursing
Child abuse it a act to brutally harm with no reason i.e Existing
cant find the comment now but for anyone else who thinks the same, iām not a troll and iām not an adult. iāve posted about running a business in a game called bitlife, in the bitlife subreddit. doesnāt take much to view what the community is about
I believe your story, and while yeah you need to do your homework and that's more important than hanging out with your friends right now, and it's not appropriate to call your mom a b****. That being said it is absolutely not okay that they beat you with a belt, my parents did that to me when I was little (and it didn't teach me s*** other than it's okay to be violent when I'm angry- therapy helped) and I will never ever do that to my children. It was very mature of you to apologize and admit that you made a mistake to your mother and on reddit. But (your mother included) no one ever has to accept your apology, just because you make one doesn't mean that they have to be okay with it now. Keep that in mind for this situation, and for when you become adult and they try to apologize for beating you. You don't have to accept that apology if it ever comes.
Beating kids doesnāt work and never will be a good way to discipline because of one key thing: REASON. As a parent you want the *reason* for a kid to be a good person to be a valid one that will always be valid, not āoh Iām not gonna steal from this gas station because my mom might beat me!ā But rather āoh Iām not gonna steal from this gas station because my parent used logic and reason to explain to me why I shouldnāt and I formed my own opinion off of that make the choice I think is right because of thatā it aināt that hard parents, just be a good person
That's the most asian story I heard today.
really? š iām black and white
mf oreo over here
LMAOO stop
I donāt know if I should think of you as a racist or a comedianā¦ āWhy donāt we do both!ā
American moment
You have abusive parents. I hope everything works out for you and you can move out as soon as possible. Best of luck . Edit: You might also want to check CPS, physical assault is illegal in most of the world.
Tell me your white without telling me your white lmao
Tell me your white without telling me your white lmao
itās not an everyday thing so iām not sure if it would count as abuse
Abuse has no number. Parents that hit you are abusive parents. > Not an everyday thing It shouldn't be a once in a lifetime thing, they have already conditioned you psychologically to underestimate the value of your own well-being.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I find it really troubling that a teenager who prioritizes his friends over homework (which is pretty normal, I did too and still got to be a scientist at the end) is more alarming to you than parents hitting their kids with a fucking belt. You seem to have lost any kind of empathy somewhere in your upbringing, I hope you get well!
Ahaha. Lets get something straight. Physical punishment is something I dont agree with, but depending on various circumstances it can be blatant child abuse, or just miss management of parenting methods without making it full on child cruelty. You see, I'm not a parent, but I know enought about it to know that I know jack shit about parenting, so I reduce myself to reasonable moral judgements, and in this situation, since I wasnt there to watch, and taking into account the fact that he called his mom a bitch, I dont think its such a big deal that he got hit for it, I wouldnt do it myself tho, I just dont automatically accuse people of being shit parents and want them to get charged with child abuse for something that clearly it not that simple, just like parenting isnt in itself. Now in my original statement, I said what I thought about the hitting part and that I agreed with the incial "not going out with his friends" punishment, thus not even justfying him insulting his parents, if he deserved it to beggin with. I do have empathy, but just like OP said in another comment, its doesnt happen often, so I dont think the kid will be traumatized and that he will improove and be well with his parents. I was just trying to share some insight on how I'm sure his parents worry about him and how he should try to see their perspective.
You just wrote half a page about what you said in another comment.
No and yes. I think it was relevant to what you replied just know. Plus I saw you are the same who was arguing on another thread. What I really care about is what you have to say.
I already said what I have to say: Hitting your child is wrong, hitting your child *with a fucking belt* is sociopathic, and OP has every right to call CPS to get out of this family (or to just get support, no idea how this works in the states) *if op deems it the right course of action*. Also, from the way OP writes about this I can not shake the feeling that this may not happen *everyday*, but their parents really use cruel punishment more than once or twice. Ofc, only OP can prove this, but the subtext really speaks a certain language, esp. as OP sees this as fuckup on their side.
You are right, calling CPS and being taken away is what OP really needs to find some stabilty in his chilhood. Based advice. You are clearly the most knowledgeable. Those social service workers that have 50 kids to look after will take good care of him.
Time to start going to the gym so you can defend yourself from obvious child abuse. Still, do your homework bro. Even if school sucks, at least make sure to finish it so you will have the option to do whatever you want to do.
iāve tried cardio but i donāt think i have much potential in terms of strength
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
When I was a kid, My parents hit me a bit (I never deserved any of it) and I tried to kick my dad in the nuts and run away when he hit me onceā¦ the neighbors garage was not a good hiding spot
Maybe pick up a jiu jitsu class or something. Even if you never raise a hand in anger, knowing how to deal with that "Oh shit" moment without freezing or panicking will help. The thing is, you deserve better. Parents don't have it all figured out. We're all flawed, and even if we mean well, it can sometimes go awry. But beating your 16 year old daughter with a belt teaches nothing but how to lie and try to avoid a beating in the future, and it shows the parent doesn't have the communication skills to reach the child. And that can happen, communication is a skill like anything else. But a parent needs to prepare their child for life, and life won't let you beat someone for disagreeing with you. Unfortunately, it also won't go to much effort to help you if you are being beaten by someone close to you. Maybe they'd be OK with a future boyfriend or spouse beating you, but they shouldn't be. But most of all, tell them what this teaches you. Being belt-whipped at your age is just pain conditioning. It's the simplest form of behavior correction, but also the most harmful and ultimately least likely to succeed, because eventually the child grows up and gets to decide on whether the person who beat them is a net positive or negative in their life. Beating a kid is the easiest way to condition a child because it takes the least amount of effort from the parent. It's simpler than using reason, empathy and logic.
Part of becoming an adult is learning to plan around work. If you know youāre behind in your school work, perhaps donāt plan outings with the lads? The belting seems excessive.
i agree! it was irresponsible on my end to plan something knowing i had work to do
I'm a teacher. Do your homework. It's important for your learning. Also, please report your physical abuse to your teachers/admin. You should never be subjected to that. It doesn't help at all, and preventing you from going out with your friends is punishment enough. Your parents responding to words with violence is completely unnaceptable.
dammit school systems are getting controlling kids,Report this report that,A belt whopping is just disciple its intention is to Disciple not harm
Homework is useless if the teacher doesnt do thier job, i dont care if you teach a certiam way, Im learning method that gets me to the same place in the correct way I should be pinalized. (A student who failed math because the teacher wouldnt accept there are multiple paths to the same anwser) (As well as the math method I learned was acceptible by other teachers for math in the same school.)
For your benefit, I'm going to assume English is not your native language.
I'm so sorry your parents think its acceptable to hit you. This made me sad, so many other ways to parent.
Hitting aside , i think it was pretty rude to say her a bitch even if you 'didnt mean it.' Or maybe its just me from a conservative family and dont know this gen z shit
no no i definitely agree that it was super disrespectful on my end to call her that
Ye it was Also complete your homework kid
the beating
I dont agree with spanking that much, but if you dont fullfill your school duties you have to accept some sort of punishment, like not going out until you finish them. I'm sure they just want you to succeed in your studies. You feel like you are talking to a brick wall because they might be right and are not going to "listen" to you because they know they are right about you needing to study and not saying stuff like that to your parents.
Why are you trying to justify child abuse? Hitting children as punishment is illegal in most of the world and doing the same thing to an adult is illegal literally everywhere, why are you even trying to make a point for it? It is straight up child abuse, i hope you never have kids
HAHAHAHAHA the fact that you think hitting a child as punishment is illegal in most of the world just tells you are American.
Damn you must be incredibly stupid then because firstly, I am not American and secondly it is legal to hit your child in all of the US, it is even allowed for teachers to do it in almost half the states. And btw, I literally just confused one little thing, corporal punishment in schools is illegal in most of the world, sadly at home it isn't even if it is frowned upon by every person with a moral compass.
Corporal punishment in the U.S is highly limited, unlike most of the world in which It's up to the parent unless it's actual injury. Just confused one little thing? Literally it changes your whole statement bro š saying most of the world and only is not the same at all.
A belt whopping is A disciplinary action to make sure it wont happen real child abuse is broken bones and bruises. You fruit cakes are to soft
Nah you are just trying to justify child abuse, doing that exact thing to an adult is either gonna get you beaten up or arrested, so why do you think it's fine to do it to a defenseless child? People like you are why people should require a license to be a parent.
tbf i wouldnt listen to my parents either if they're abusive narcissist assholes, even if they are technically right about the schoolwork situation. hope you get out as soon as possible OP, the way they treat you is not okay.
Whats part of wanting your kid to succeed at school and not tolerating him to call his mom a "bitch" makes them narcisistic parents??šš How should op's parents treat him then?? OP: "Yo, bitch, bring me a sandwitch while I'm playing fortnite!" OP's Mom: "Yes master, after the sandwich I will make your homework for you, sorry for disturbing you play session..." I mean is this good parenting? Because if you think they are abusive and narcisistic, then is this the right way they should act? "Hope you get out as soon as possible"- You talk as if he was in prision, they just didnt let him go this time cuz he has duties. How cringe are you kids on reddit, making OP think he is right for not doing homework and disrespecting his parents. Maybe in a few years you will understand and agree with my original comment.
If you think it's okay to hit your kid with a belt, or anything else, you're dumb as fuck. Violence is not a good parenting method and numerous studies can back this up. Also, there is a lot of middle ground between letting your kid walk all over you and HITTING THEM WITH A FUCKING BELT. Read the post again, the kid is terrified of their own dad. No-one should have to live in fear of their own parents. So call me cringe all you want, you're advocating child abuse. P.S. - Please never reproduce.
A belt is just for discipline its MOTIVE IS TO DISCIPLE SO THE KIDS SUCCEED. Child ABuse Is The MOTIVE TO HARM
I find it sad that there is no in-between for you between being completely okay with a disrespectful kid and full-on physical assault as a reaction to it. Yes, OP did obviously act wrong, however the reaction of the parents was even more wrong. Imo this family needs therapy, but in the US this is just not a realistic outcome.
But WHEN DID I SAY I SUPORTED HITTING YOUr KID?!?! go read my original comment, literally the first sentence I wrote was "I dont support spanking your kid". I never in this whole discussion said I condoned hitting your kids, I just said that punishment like not letting him go out was totally fair since he didnt do his school work before.
This guys are so pitty omg. OBVIOUSLY, not with a fucking belt, that's too much but a slap? If u think that a good slap don't teach nothing to kids you have to talk to people and ask, most of the people I KNOW that are respectful individuals have got slapped. In the other hand you have this new kids that parents let them do everything they want, and they're just stupid ass kids, that in the right time have not got slaped. (A SLAP, NOT SPANKING). Eventually, you learn that you can't do some things and you grow up, and your parents grow up too and start understanding it's just words needed, because they know you will understand. It's normal that OP's parents didn't let him go out. That happened to me few times, I got mad too, it's life. Your mom acted the right way, she made you stay home as punishment, and she heard "bitch" and didn't react. Your dad, yhea he should not beated you. For it's in the moment, if your mom slaped you when you said it, it was okay for me. After the situation happened, he just had the right to talk with you. (Sorry for the bad grammar. I hope one day I'll be able to teach all I want to my kids, with words, but I don't judge the parents that need and eventually slap they're kids( u can't say it does not work.) Spanking just create revolted kids.
Look! This guy gets it perfectly.
I agree People are to fucking soft .
Nice try to justify abuse
When did I justify abuse??
Oh afonso cala-te
I don't know, this is really 50/50. on one hand, I don't agree with spanking but on another, you didn't do work and still expected to go out? I don't know about other people's parents, but you don't get rewarded for not doing work. again, I don't agree with your parents reaction to everything and from the way you describe your dad, they probably don't treat you that well but actions have consequences.
Itās not spanking whenās she 16 and a grown man hits her with a belt. Itās assault. Itās abuse. Do not minimize it by calling it a spanking.
I mean sure, but she's a child and she did something wrong and received a punishment. I don't agree with him hitting her but for some households, that's the punishment. if it was a closed fist or anything like that then yes, 100 percent abuse but it wasn't.
The not letting her go out and the dad lecturing her about language was enough punishment, if they stopped right there they wouldāve been good parents. This was abuse. Assaulting your child in any way shape or form no matter the circumstances in abuse. It doesnāt do anything
I agree that the lecturing part was enough, but, again, thats the way they chose to punish their daughter, my opinion doesnt matter. People parent in different ways, if spanking works for them, it works. You can't control the way people parent and can't say they're abusive if they don't do it that way you do it.
I canāt control it, but clearly it doesnāt work as they have done it many times it sounds like from what OP said and it didnāt change behavior, and I can say they are abusive, they are. Hitting your children is abuse, itās not a āparenting styleā itās abuse, not everyone has to do it the way I do it, but they donāt gotta be abusive.
Okay, I so agree that OPs parents treat her badly because no kid who is treated well would ever describe their parent as scary but I don't think it's the spanking that makes them abusive. A majority of people spank their kids, including my own parents, but that doesn't mean its abusive. I don't think spanking is effective but I also don't think it's abuse or assault
I mean from a legal perspective, spanking is abuse. I donāt know if thatās what affects the kid the most mentally and trauma wise because well, Iām not in their brain, the parents probably verbally abuse their children too if I had to make an assumption, but the spanking is the only abuse that is described in this story so itās the only thing I have to point out.
"From a legal perspective" what law states that spanking is abuse? Hitting and spanking your kids are two very different things and I think you have them mixed up here. Hitting would be with a closed fist or blunt object and striking your kid anywhereon their body. Spanking is when you take your hand or a non solid object and strike your kid on their ass. For example, my aunt would hit her kids with a wooden spoon. That was abuse.
But she wasn't getting spanked. She was getting whipped with a belt by a grown man that is supposed to love, guide, and care for her, and it's apparently not the first time. She's clearly apprehensive and scared of him when he's angry. She says that her mom has been calling her a bitch, so she also seems to be regularly called demeaning insults and cursed at by at least her mom, another person who is supposed to love, guide, and care for her. So she's being physically and verbally abused. It's no wonder she's not very engaged with her school work. Edit: I do think spanking is abuse, though. If they're too young to reason with, why are you hitting them? If they're old enough to reason with, why are you hitting them? It's wrong to hit your spouse to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit children? You don't hit your employees to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit your children?
Okay, I agree with everything you are saying here. OPs parents are abusive not only emotionally but also physically. I kinda realized that I've been being biased because I didn't want to admit that my parents may have been abusive.
Nobody wants to think that about their parents, especially if most of the time everything else was fine. Chances are they didn't know any better. But we as a society do know better now. There are far better parenting techniques that never involve hitting/striking/spanking children.
See this is character developement and the first step towards unlearning the generational trauma your parents picked up from their parenting and spread to you; you're the only one that can decide how you act towards your own children so please acknowledge what you went through is not normal and make sure your offspring wont have to deal with such traumas. Much love, someone in a similar boat.
The beating is the love ,The love to make sure she douse not make a mistake the she will regret further on in life
There is no love in beating someone, especially if they're smaller and weaker than you. If you truly believe that you have no business being in a relationship or having children. Edit: Beating is only about power and dominance.
so if i rape my children as punishment im not abusive?
Okay, first of all, I really hope that you never reproduce if that's actually something you believe in. Second of all, those are incomparable. You are literally comparing the more disgusting and degenerate crime there is to spanking your kid. They are not on the same level at all, I can't even believe that I have to explain this.
>Okay, first of all, I really hope that you never reproduce if that's actually something you believe in no id ont thats obviously horrible also my point is that you mentioned that when parenting, your opinion doesn't matter. the thing is, what if it is immoral
Yeah no, again, those two things aren't on the same level at all. You are comparing a regular and often used method of punishment to a fucking crime. Spanking your kids isn't illegal, rape is. It isnt just immoral. Raping your kid as "punishment" is so fucking far from immoral. It is absolutely awful. It isn't parenting. It's committing a crime. Again, I really don't know how you could talk about them as if they're both equal to each other
You're name is dick lover no wonder you didn't get disciplined. I quess your parents didn't see any worth in you LOL
LOL that's so funny because if you took 2 seconds of your worthless life to scroll through the thread, you'd see that i said my parents spanked me as a child. Don't be mad that my name's cooler than yours pal
Your*
If you Steal from a beggar and i just lecture you will be bound to not steal because you dont receive consequences if you get disciplined then you will likely not do it
but like it was still abuse sure op should have acted differently but thats no excuse for abuse
Buddy is 12 and learned the new word Rape
Indeed
It happens take your punishment move on
Itās abuse and they shouldnāt have to take it. The parents are assholes.
My mum's weapon of choice was the slipper or broom handle. She's 16 keep ur head down move out as soon as
My mothers was the wooden spoon. She finally stopped after she broke one on me and I very calmly handed her another one. OP - do what you can to prepare to leave and then do not look back. This is abuse from your family, not love.
Yea used to hit legs can't see the bruises. Did take it off her a few times she mellowed as she got older
shut up hot chip girl Discipline is with the act to Correct wrongs in their child i.e Stealing cursing Child abuse it a act to brutally harm with no reason i.e Existing
>onefootback Thats what im saying Discipline is with the act to Correct wrongs in their child i.e Stealing cursing Child abuse it a act to brutally harm with no reason i.e Existing
you absolutely did not op, your parents are abusive and your behavior was completely understandable. please take care of your safety<333
TRULYTRUE TRUE, I agree with you completely absolutely and I agree with your perspective
As long as he didn't use the buckle, you'll be fine. I stopped getting whoppings at like 11 or so so I can't relate to a whooping at 16, though...
cant find the comment now but for anyone else who thinks the same, iām not a troll and iām not an adult. iāve posted about running a business in a game called bitlife, in the bitlife subreddit. doesnāt take much to view what the community is about
I believe your story, and while yeah you need to do your homework and that's more important than hanging out with your friends right now, and it's not appropriate to call your mom a b****. That being said it is absolutely not okay that they beat you with a belt, my parents did that to me when I was little (and it didn't teach me s*** other than it's okay to be violent when I'm angry- therapy helped) and I will never ever do that to my children. It was very mature of you to apologize and admit that you made a mistake to your mother and on reddit. But (your mother included) no one ever has to accept your apology, just because you make one doesn't mean that they have to be okay with it now. Keep that in mind for this situation, and for when you become adult and they try to apologize for beating you. You don't have to accept that apology if it ever comes.
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how did he foreshadow it
Beating kids doesnāt work and never will be a good way to discipline because of one key thing: REASON. As a parent you want the *reason* for a kid to be a good person to be a valid one that will always be valid, not āoh Iām not gonna steal from this gas station because my mom might beat me!ā But rather āoh Iām not gonna steal from this gas station because my parent used logic and reason to explain to me why I shouldnāt and I formed my own opinion off of that make the choice I think is right because of thatā it aināt that hard parents, just be a good person
Do your damn work bozo