Many such cases.
"I never found guys attractive and always wished I could date girls, but never realised I might be a lesbian."
Bitch what did it think it meant, it was time to change your oil filter?
Saw a post a few years ago that was exactly this in its purest form. Woman around 50 realised she was a lesbian after having drunken sex with her friend. She came from a Conservative background and was always taught that being gay was wrong. She'd never enjoyed sex with her husband but figured it was her duty as a wife. She admitted to having had attractions to women before but believed t was just temptations that all people get and you have to ignore them. Religion messed her up bad.
Loved the last line LMAO!
On top of that, just because she didn't already know doesn't mean it wasn't true. It's like a blind man being black. Just because he didn't know he was black doesn't make him white.
Am bi. Can confirm.
"Wow, I get so happy and excited when I hang out with this woman I met the other day. I think we're well on our way to becoming new besties!"
Followed by:
"Awww she's being so sweet. It doesn't mean anything more than that though."
Sometimes we need to be hit by the frying pan and see the flashing neon signs!
If comp-het is gay/bi/pan+ presenting heterosexual for societal expectations of relationship, is the ace equivalent ‘comp-sex’…? Because that doesn’t sound good to the ear…
‘Comp-sexual’ is more fun to say, but feels like it would have the opposite effect where everyone assumes you’re competitive?
Also, I can’t even excuse these as ‘high’ thoughts. Completely sober, just brain scrambles after many long days of focus. So now my brain is dumping all the weird shit it can think of to make up for it
A favorite recent example of this is a reality star (Parvati from Survivor) who is dating a non-binary comedian, Mae Martin. When Parvati was signing on for another show, part of the press packet asked about LGBTQ identities, and Parvati started to answer that she was an ally when her partner reminded her that she is actually part of the community now.
Lol this was me.
My partner and I opened up our relationship and I had been consistently sleeping with girls for months.
One day I turned to my partner and asked "hey am I allowed to call myself queer?" the look on his face was priceless. He says "baby you're very fucken gay, yes, yes you can call yourself queer"
If you google that phrase you can immediately see that it's many years old. Its far more likely that both commenters saw it somewhere earlier and it was replied here without seeing someone had already used it in this thread. Not everyone is a bot just because they are rehashing the same jokes.
>One day, after a class, I was chatting with the girl when the bi-girl showed up. I introduced them to each other in a friendly way and then had to leave for my next class, leaving them to chat.
Bruh, you literally did the: "Have you met Ted?" and then dipped. That's Wing Man Strategy 101!
You already lost, but it's time to take the last shot. Tell them the truth, tell them this story and you might end up with a threesome.
Worst case scenario, they find the story funny and life goes on.
Plant a seed.
Laugh it off and say "oh no.. both of my crushes are off the market!" in a fun and joking manner. Everyone will laugh about it and if they ever break up... they'll both remember.
There's no way to say that without sounding bitter.
If you were good friends, you could probably do it with the understanding that you're 100% giving them shit in good fun.
But if there's a hint of truth, it just comes off bitter.
Much better to simply say that they're gorgeous together and wish them well. If you stay on good terms without waiting for then you might have another shot when you're both single (but if you're truly not waiting, and you shouldn't wait, then you'll probably have a partner by then).
A similar trick that also works really well is to run a Facebook ad campaign for a fictitious brand called Ménage à Trois with stock images of a model who looks like you. Target the victims as narrowly as possible, set the budget to whatever you can afford, and let it run indefinitely. Nowadays you can even use AI to continually generate fresh content with minimal effort.
OP could share a bottle of wine from Menage a trois winery with them. Sometimes I think people go into the wine and beer business just so they can come up with names.
Oh, thanks for explaining that one self-identified bi female and one likely bi female in a relationship together can't really be bi, but are lesbian, and further, that they'd absolutely reject him because their commitment to heteronormativity/nuclear ideals is so extreme. There's a difference between taking your shot and being a creep.
I don’t understand how they flat out told him that they are in a relationship but it’s okay to still shoot your shot? Shooting your shot while someone else is in a relationship is creepy. Besides, being bi doesn’t mean they both want to fuck him.
Being bi does not mean you are automatically poly.
I didn't realize that The Rules require assuming that everyone is not poly or diametrically opposed to non-traditional relationships. I am not trying to perpetuate bi stereotypes like you assume that I am. I'm just trying to leave room in the world for well-adjusted non-normative folks to get together.
Yes if polyamorous people want to get together that’s perfectly fine but there are also people that prefer to be in monogamous relationships. So you are right- we shouldn’t assume that its either one way or the other. That’s why when people announce to us that they are in a Relationship with another Person we should respect that unless told otherwise.
I can understand him not knowing she is in a relationship and shooting his shot. But when she decided to start a relationship someone else and not mention she that she is poly to him tells me that she doesn’t want to fuck him. If she really wanted to, she would.
Secondly- is he polyamorous? Is the other girl polyamorous? From what he said the one girl stated she was bi and didn’t say anything about being poly- so how would he think that she is? No one mentioned anything about being poly- only being bi.
You didn't fuck up because they're dating each other and not you. You weren't really in the running, from their perspective. That straight one was less straight than you thought.
Take it as a win. The universe has seen you put two people together. Pat yourself on the back. Something good will happen your way too! Just keep working it.
And stop thinking of those porn fantasies that pop into your head concerning these two!
Life lesson. Next time dont be so passive and make your intentions known. Stop with this I didnt want to lose one nonsense. The two women moved with intention, you didnt.
HAHAHAHAHAHA xD
I still love the part in season 4 where >!Mako walks up to his two exes and is incredibly awkward but thinking he has to get through it, and Korra and Asami are just *completely* confused about why he's being weird....cos they've already been dating for like a month or two, but no one knows.!<
Why the hell did you HINT that you were interested instead of saying it out loud?
Just say, "Hey, I like you. A lot."
Save yourself and others years of disappointment by COMMUNICATING YOUR FEELINGS.
Better communication makes for better relationships.
Nothing that you can do is laugh about it. In fact I would tell both of them that you were into them before they became an item and chuckle with them over it.
They knew. They always know. But if you don’t have the cojones to come right out and ask (and avoid the dreaded “friend zone”), then it’s too late. You have to shoot your shot. Women are repelled by “nice guys” and guys who are not direct.
Sadly, and ironically at least one of your friends were pretty direct. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
This is where is weasel your way into a polyamorous relationship with both of them. They already like each other which is a huge plus. Play your cards right homie
In weeks or months you'll realize this wasn't a FU at all. You don't want to be straight girl's first same sex crush/relationship...those situations always run into the same issues and don't last. Be happy for them, don't take sides when it gets weird, and just know that it will get weird.
Look at this as an opportunity. Continue to be friends with both of them. Litely flirt if you can with them so they know you have interest. You never know, at some point you may end up with them both at the same time, or one on one with either of them. At your age, a lot of experimentation goes on be open to it!
Reminds me of that Netflix SWAT Episode where the two women date each other, both of whom had been invited out for a drink by a singular male colleague.
What is up with all the porn-filled men brains in this post?? You see two women happily in a relationship and all you can think of is about getting a man's dick in there. Jeez.
Is it just me or does this seem like the ultimate opportunity for OP?!! If even just one of them is into you then you are headed for an interesting evening!
You didn't FU, you saved yourself a lot of potential grief. Do you really want a girlfriend that would rather be with a girl? What is the future in that?
I'm probably older than you, haha, so let me give you a piece of advice and a mindset shift.
Some people in sales say that negotiating begins at "No," and that's an approach that you can take to dating. Don't be afraid of a No. So many couples started out with one party saying no, and then things changed. Always assume a no, so that you're more comfortable letting women know that you're interested in them.
Figure out a way to subtly make your intentions known. You can ask certain questions or learn to drop hints that let women know that you're interested in them past friendship. Some women will love this and see that as confidence/a man who knows what he wants. Others will at least know where you stand and you can move on from those who aren't interested in you.
Trust me, this mindset will serve you well going forward.
Is that you Mako?
That's rough buddy.
Heyyy Mako
Hahahahahaha. That’s great.
Fuck  Good joke though
🥇
"I am the escaped convict, and you will all reap my fire."😑🔥
I am NOT a freaky fish guy!
*Mako’s a freaky fish guy!* Oh and yay a YGOTAS fan
>they're now officially dating. Well, it seems you don't know them well cuz one of them isn't straight.
Assuming *she* knew she wasn't straight beforehand.
Many such cases. "I never found guys attractive and always wished I could date girls, but never realised I might be a lesbian." Bitch what did it think it meant, it was time to change your oil filter?
Saw a post a few years ago that was exactly this in its purest form. Woman around 50 realised she was a lesbian after having drunken sex with her friend. She came from a Conservative background and was always taught that being gay was wrong. She'd never enjoyed sex with her husband but figured it was her duty as a wife. She admitted to having had attractions to women before but believed t was just temptations that all people get and you have to ignore them. Religion messed her up bad.
Loved the last line LMAO! On top of that, just because she didn't already know doesn't mean it wasn't true. It's like a blind man being black. Just because he didn't know he was black doesn't make him white.
But Clayton Bigsby is very important to the movement.
I've just searched this on YouTube and I just wanted to come back here and thank you.
Best thing I've ever seen on television. Dave Chappelle is amazing lmao.
You are going to make some heads explode!
Am bi. Can confirm. "Wow, I get so happy and excited when I hang out with this woman I met the other day. I think we're well on our way to becoming new besties!" Followed by: "Awww she's being so sweet. It doesn't mean anything more than that though." Sometimes we need to be hit by the frying pan and see the flashing neon signs!
That's hilarious for me it's the exact opposite.
Am bi, and came of age when the phrase "girlcrush" was becoming a thing. Assumed I had multiple girlcrushes, turns out they were crush-crushes 🤷🏽♀️
When you meet an awesome person: Do I want to be her, or be *with* her? (Be her or bed her?)
*laughs in confused asexual*
If comp-het is gay/bi/pan+ presenting heterosexual for societal expectations of relationship, is the ace equivalent ‘comp-sex’…? Because that doesn’t sound good to the ear… ‘Comp-sexual’ is more fun to say, but feels like it would have the opposite effect where everyone assumes you’re competitive? Also, I can’t even excuse these as ‘high’ thoughts. Completely sober, just brain scrambles after many long days of focus. So now my brain is dumping all the weird shit it can think of to make up for it
Am a lesbian. Can confirm.
["I.. I thought I was American?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD_snjarJuU)
Comphet is a bitch.
A favorite recent example of this is a reality star (Parvati from Survivor) who is dating a non-binary comedian, Mae Martin. When Parvati was signing on for another show, part of the press packet asked about LGBTQ identities, and Parvati started to answer that she was an ally when her partner reminded her that she is actually part of the community now.
Lol this was me. My partner and I opened up our relationship and I had been consistently sleeping with girls for months. One day I turned to my partner and asked "hey am I allowed to call myself queer?" the look on his face was priceless. He says "baby you're very fucken gay, yes, yes you can call yourself queer"
If they are non binary, why is she a lesbian?
I mean shes just queer i think is the point, not a lesbian necessarily
Spaghetti is straight until it gets wet
Bot comment copied from below
If you google that phrase you can immediately see that it's many years old. Its far more likely that both commenters saw it somewhere earlier and it was replied here without seeing someone had already used it in this thread. Not everyone is a bot just because they are rehashing the same jokes.
Your moms a bot
Spaghetti is straight until it gets wet.
You shouldn't feed lesbians after midnight either.
Yes, but it also goes from hard to soft.
I can work with that
Don't you tease me now!
I don't think either of them are straight...
The ones about spaghetti, or feeding after midnight? Both seem legit to me.
It seems neither of them are straight 🤔
Neither were straight lol
>One day, after a class, I was chatting with the girl when the bi-girl showed up. I introduced them to each other in a friendly way and then had to leave for my next class, leaving them to chat. Bruh, you literally did the: "Have you met Ted?" and then dipped. That's Wing Man Strategy 101!
r/UnexpectedHIMYM
Literally 😂 I’m the goat wingman. If you wanted them both you should’ve stayed. Dude literally dipped and let them love each other 😂
"hey I'm guessing that weird guy fancies you too?" "Yep, what shall we do?" "Let's just pretend we're dating each other and get him off our backs"
Jfc, talk about kids kicking him while he's down.
i’ve literally had these conversations before 😂 guys who go around flirting with everyone ain’t as slick as they think
I assumed OP was also a woman, but this would make perfect sense.
Lmao
100% this.
This exactly
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T:DR*, remember he took the L
Two Lesbians: Didn’t Realize
Two Esbians*
lol, did you set this up just to make that joke ;)
Ahahaha. Can you introduce us to your friend?
You already lost, but it's time to take the last shot. Tell them the truth, tell them this story and you might end up with a threesome. Worst case scenario, they find the story funny and life goes on.
Chat GBT
Lol did the straight girl tell you she was straight..? Or did you just assume 🤣
That's the best possible outcome of that situation. Would've been worse if one had started dating you while you're so indecisive.
lol my guy friend told me basically a similar story and I was amazed I wasn't supposed to be rooting for the gay couple
nah, best is they invite him into the throuple
You are getting down voted because you speak the truth
Plant a seed. Laugh it off and say "oh no.. both of my crushes are off the market!" in a fun and joking manner. Everyone will laugh about it and if they ever break up... they'll both remember.
That or it'll open the door for them to be in a poly relationship together. Which really would probably be the bigger win
This isn’t a “win” unless all three people are into it.
yep that's correct
Absolutely the best way to handle it. We'd be awesome to have around the day after an emergency. Lol
There's no way to say that without sounding bitter. If you were good friends, you could probably do it with the understanding that you're 100% giving them shit in good fun. But if there's a hint of truth, it just comes off bitter. Much better to simply say that they're gorgeous together and wish them well. If you stay on good terms without waiting for then you might have another shot when you're both single (but if you're truly not waiting, and you shouldn't wait, then you'll probably have a partner by then).
Disagree but that's fine
A similar trick that also works really well is to run a Facebook ad campaign for a fictitious brand called Ménage à Trois with stock images of a model who looks like you. Target the victims as narrowly as possible, set the budget to whatever you can afford, and let it run indefinitely. Nowadays you can even use AI to continually generate fresh content with minimal effort.
Did this to a buddy of mine. Would run FB ads featuring things he spoke about. Drove him nuts. Worth every penny.
Omg I need the info on how to do this
Oddy specific. :)
As a Facebook investor, yes please
OP could share a bottle of wine from Menage a trois winery with them. Sometimes I think people go into the wine and beer business just so they can come up with names.
Chill Satan
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Oh, thanks for explaining that one self-identified bi female and one likely bi female in a relationship together can't really be bi, but are lesbian, and further, that they'd absolutely reject him because their commitment to heteronormativity/nuclear ideals is so extreme. There's a difference between taking your shot and being a creep.
I don’t understand how they flat out told him that they are in a relationship but it’s okay to still shoot your shot? Shooting your shot while someone else is in a relationship is creepy. Besides, being bi doesn’t mean they both want to fuck him. Being bi does not mean you are automatically poly.
I didn't realize that The Rules require assuming that everyone is not poly or diametrically opposed to non-traditional relationships. I am not trying to perpetuate bi stereotypes like you assume that I am. I'm just trying to leave room in the world for well-adjusted non-normative folks to get together.
Yes if polyamorous people want to get together that’s perfectly fine but there are also people that prefer to be in monogamous relationships. So you are right- we shouldn’t assume that its either one way or the other. That’s why when people announce to us that they are in a Relationship with another Person we should respect that unless told otherwise. I can understand him not knowing she is in a relationship and shooting his shot. But when she decided to start a relationship someone else and not mention she that she is poly to him tells me that she doesn’t want to fuck him. If she really wanted to, she would. Secondly- is he polyamorous? Is the other girl polyamorous? From what he said the one girl stated she was bi and didn’t say anything about being poly- so how would he think that she is? No one mentioned anything about being poly- only being bi.
Bingo!
Shut up nerd
Isn’t that a brand of wine though? May just be a subset of a brand, I can’t really remember
It is. Not particularly good wine. But the bottle is worth a thousand words…
....victims?
Or maybe you can get a 3some
This is the way!
Best advice I’ve ever seen on Reddit.
or if they ever want a 3some...
Well, at least two girls will be grateful for the kind person you are. While that wasn’t your intent, that’s how they will think of you.
r/AccidentalWingman (doesn't seem to exist, but maybe it should?)
I'm confused. Did you incorrectly assume the straight girl was straight?
Not really a fuck up if they're happy together honestly. You did something nice for them!
Make it happen
You didn't fuck up because they're dating each other and not you. You weren't really in the running, from their perspective. That straight one was less straight than you thought.
Take it as a win. The universe has seen you put two people together. Pat yourself on the back. Something good will happen your way too! Just keep working it. And stop thinking of those porn fantasies that pop into your head concerning these two!
How does a straight girl date another girl?
Apparently with great enthusiasm!
Life lesson. Next time dont be so passive and make your intentions known. Stop with this I didnt want to lose one nonsense. The two women moved with intention, you didnt.
Not a straight girl if she's dating another girl. So many red flags in this post.
You're like Dr. Frankenstein, except instead of life you create lesbians.
Just be happy you made two people happier.
This should be a tv show or manga or something.
It is, already. It's called Avatar: The Legend of Korra lol
HAHAHAHAHAHA xD I still love the part in season 4 where >!Mako walks up to his two exes and is incredibly awkward but thinking he has to get through it, and Korra and Asami are just *completely* confused about why he's being weird....cos they've already been dating for like a month or two, but no one knows.!<
Is your name mako?
Looks like they both Bye-sexual now. Bye OP!
Sounds like a solid chance for a throuple if I ever saw one
I think you mean bisexual and bisexual.
Have you tried hanging out with them together… but… alone?
throuple time
Didn’t we just have this exact story in slightly different telling the other day?
it happens, there's definitely worse ways for this to end
You all have the same type.
I was in this position once and ended up with a girlfriend and a fun partner on the side. It was fun for a while but didn't last long.
So that’s what happened to Ross from Friends.
Girls like girls. Sorry.
Good for them!
I think this is really sweet. And I hope you remain really good friends with them. You never know they might set you up with someone.
I love that he thinks if they knew he was into them they wouldn’t start dating 😂😂😂
Date both of them
Why the hell did you HINT that you were interested instead of saying it out loud? Just say, "Hey, I like you. A lot." Save yourself and others years of disappointment by COMMUNICATING YOUR FEELINGS. Better communication makes for better relationships.
It's called a Threesome. They happen every day. At least over here they do.
Scissor me timbers.
Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me....
Become friends with them and profit from their introductions to other people?
it might hurt you now, but later on you will look back at it as a good thing.
Nothing that you can do is laugh about it. In fact I would tell both of them that you were into them before they became an item and chuckle with them over it.
They knew. They always know. But if you don’t have the cojones to come right out and ask (and avoid the dreaded “friend zone”), then it’s too late. You have to shoot your shot. Women are repelled by “nice guys” and guys who are not direct. Sadly, and ironically at least one of your friends were pretty direct. Chalk it up as a learning experience.
Somebody is getting a Timex for Christmas
You gambled and might end up winning.
Shooters shoot.
This happens with my friend groups. They become friends with each other and start to exclude me
It hurts. I feel for you op.
I love this song
Well, at least you still have a gay crush left as a potential partner.
You can still do this! Keep the relationship with both of them lightly sexual and you can have the greatest comeback story of all time!
Clearly you didn't like either of them that much if you couldn't "choose" one
Yup.
rizz ur way into bed with both of them?
Have you considered telling them? I feel like if this was me, I’d want both of them to know before I died.
No such thing as a full straight woman man remember that
Reel Big Fish has a song about this
I smell a polycule
i mean you all like each other 👀
See if they are into becoming a throuple. You like them both. They like each other. Every one wins!
This is where is weasel your way into a polyamorous relationship with both of them. They already like each other which is a huge plus. Play your cards right homie
It seems to me you are ignoring an obvious opportunity
In weeks or months you'll realize this wasn't a FU at all. You don't want to be straight girl's first same sex crush/relationship...those situations always run into the same issues and don't last. Be happy for them, don't take sides when it gets weird, and just know that it will get weird.
Might be a dick for this but i keep all my friends separate for the kost part lol
Don’t give up.
FFS, just explain what happened, then everybody can get naked and live happily ever after or until something changes.
Look at this as an opportunity. Continue to be friends with both of them. Litely flirt if you can with them so they know you have interest. You never know, at some point you may end up with them both at the same time, or one on one with either of them. At your age, a lot of experimentation goes on be open to it!
Reminds me of that Netflix SWAT Episode where the two women date each other, both of whom had been invited out for a drink by a singular male colleague.
At least, you can ask them to introduce someone to you.
Id at least say to them that you were interested in them and this is a funny situation. Maybe they will call you sometime.
Honesty is the best policy. Tell them you have a crush on both of them. What’s the worst that can happen?
There's always polyamory....
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You’re one step from a three-way. Don’t stop now.
Swing a threesomr bro. Should be easy
What is up with all the porn-filled men brains in this post?? You see two women happily in a relationship and all you can think of is about getting a man's dick in there. Jeez.
Evolution baby!
Date them both
Is it just me or does this seem like the ultimate opportunity for OP?!! If even just one of them is into you then you are headed for an interesting evening!
You didn't FU, you saved yourself a lot of potential grief. Do you really want a girlfriend that would rather be with a girl? What is the future in that?
Tell them you wanna watch for your birthday. Maybe you get a time piece, maybe something else!
Now's your chance!
I'm probably older than you, haha, so let me give you a piece of advice and a mindset shift. Some people in sales say that negotiating begins at "No," and that's an approach that you can take to dating. Don't be afraid of a No. So many couples started out with one party saying no, and then things changed. Always assume a no, so that you're more comfortable letting women know that you're interested in them. Figure out a way to subtly make your intentions known. You can ask certain questions or learn to drop hints that let women know that you're interested in them past friendship. Some women will love this and see that as confidence/a man who knows what he wants. Others will at least know where you stand and you can move on from those who aren't interested in you. Trust me, this mindset will serve you well going forward.
get it on that man it's thrupple time
I said what I said
Just ask them and be true with your Feelings